Ugh! Don!
You brought up a human woman filled with babies.
I really want to help this baby find its mother.
Want to make it right.
I'm gonna write about my friend, Ozzie,
and his experiences.
John!
I don't love you anymore! I love Doug!
Gerry? Are you okay?
You need to take some time off.
Indefinitely.
Almost the whole report's been redacted.
If only there was something that could help explain all this.
I'm open to entertaining all possibilities.
Ozzie deserves justice.
Take this, Gerry.
Don't drop it, smell it, breathe it,
or even look at it too long.
You'll need this for when the fives are two.
Gerry?
Gerry, come to bed, baby.
It's 3:00 in the morning.
I need to finish the game.
Okay.
This better be one hell of a game.
synced & corrected by PopcornAWH www.addic7ed.com.
Hey, everybody, guess who I convinced to come with us
to the Alien Experiencer Expo?
Well, well, well. Ooh, yes.
Here's your official Expo badge.
"I Believe."
Okay, well, TBD.
All of these people
that you are about to meet at this convention, Alex,
they have been silenced, just like you.
They saw things that no one else believed,
and they're searching for answers.
So for you to understand us and to understand Ozzie
and what might've happened to him,
well, this is a great place for you to start.
I will try to keep an open mind.
And, by the end of this day,
you will know that they were responsible
for the death of Ozzie Graham.
Also Amelia Earhart and Elton John.
Elton John is alive.
Oh, is he?
Alex, come on, wake up.
Sorry we're late.
- Hi! - Well, hello.
Gerry, can you please eat that someplace else?
The smell is making me sick.
Who eats hot dogs for breakfast?
Sorry I don't conform to your ideas
of what breakfast should be.
All right, everyone, next stop, outer spaaace!
Yes!
Oh, you guys, I'm just kidding.
- It's Ossining. - Yeah.
It's about 45 minutes.
"I've had zero contact from the home planet,"
and I've heard some disturbing rumors
about the fate of our people.
Could somebody from the leadership council
please contact me?
"Hello?"
Can I use the work station?
Sure.
Are you okay?
Maybe what Eric said is true
and I'm the last Grey in the whole galaxy.
I mean, I've been messaging for weeks.
No one's responding.
There's got to be an explanation to that.
Interference from solar flares?
Or they're really... Might be really busy?
Or they're dead.
Don't go there. You don't know that.
Would it make you feel better to help me with something?
Oh, now the truth comes out.
Don needs something.
No. Sometimes helping others makes you feel good.
I doubt that.
Well, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to find the baby we separated from her family.
And I think it would help you
to help me to help, uh, someone else.
No. Pass!
Denied.
What's the login to the archive search?
Denied.
Then you just search
for "baby" and "lost," right?
Denied.
Move over.
You have to start with much narrower parameters than that.
Just let me do it.
What are you smiling at?
Nothing. You're doing a great job.
Yeah, you better believe I'm doing a good job.
Hey, did you get a chance to,
um, look at the story that I wrote about Ozzie?
Oh, I thought it was good.
- Great. - Yeah. Um...
I thought Ozzie would've liked it.
Wow... Well, I really tried to, you know, honor his story.
Do you think that it's good enough
to show to Leonard Bechdal?
Because I sent it to him.
Well, that depends.
Who is Leonard Bechdal?
Are you kidding me?
He's that psychologist and experiencer... the one who writes
- about abduction trauma. - Mnh-mnh.
Here. I mean, he's amazing.
Uh, yeah.
Oh.
- Who poses with their horse? - A genius.
An absolute genius who also loves horses.
Don't touch it.
Don't smell it.
Okay, okay.
These bags have maps to all of the booths... Ooh.
...and there are also coupons for Dippin' Dots,
which is the ice cream of the future.
There you go. This is for you.
Enjoy yourselves, explore,
open your mind.
And we will all meet back here
at the alien autopsy booth at 6:00.
- Okay? - Okay.
It's easy to get lost here, so stick with me.
Chelsea, are you okay?
- Oh, gosh. - Yeah.
Oh, sorry, I just... uh, I didn't expect to see,
uh... alien guts this early in the morning.
I know.
What's the unsolved mystery with the Titanic?
We know exactly what happened there.
You are so adorably naive.
You really think that an ice cube sank
a giant, unsinkable ocean liner?
Iceberg.
And, yeah, I believe
that very well-documented account of events.
Or maybe 1,000 people witnessed a spaceship rise from the deep,
and all the aliens made the people go bye-bye.
That's crazy. Why would you say that?
That's so crazy.
Well, that's kind of rude for you to say that to me.
So, aliens faked the destruction
of an ocean liner
and killed just the people who saw their ship?
Now you're asking the right questions.
Ooh, excuse me.
Can I try on that bracelet?
Sure. It's cute, huh? Yeah.
But it's also deadly.
Unsnap it, stretch it out,
it becomes a garrote.
Do you have that in rose gold?
Hey, babe, I got a picture of me with a Grey.
- You want to get one? - No, actually,
I was thinking about getting
this cute, little bracelet
that kills aliens.
Don't you think you have enough weapons in the house already?
A Reptilian, like, walked right up in my house, remember?
I know, but we're together now.
I'll protect you.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, uh, one second, please.
Um, I don't know how to say this to you,
so I'm just gonna say it.
Um, a couple of nights ago,
I caught you staring at the moon
in your underwear.
Whatever.
I love the moon and I hate pajamas.
Baby, you're talking in your sleep,
you're staying up late every night
building that stupid game.
It's not stupid. It's awesome.
Okay, but you acting weird
isn't awesome.
I don't think your experience
was as great as you thought it was, babe.
You're wrong.
I was on a spaceship.
I met cool aliens, and they loved me.
Trust me... Aliens don't abduct you for four days
- to hang out. - But they did with me.
Gerry.
Well, I would say that my most harrowing experience
was when I was 4 years old.
I saw my Uncle Harold get abducted,
and of course no one believed me because I was a child,
and no one believed him, either.
He ended up in a mental institution.
Would you mind if we tried to find Leonard after?
I just... I would really like to know
what he thought of my article,
and I also sent him some muffins.
I do these conventions
because I get to hear
the most amazing and inspiring stories.
Recently, I read such a story
by a very perceptive and sensitive new writer
and experiencer.
Her name is Gina Morrison,
and I'm hoping she's somewhere out there.
Gina, if you're here, would you please stand up?
Oh, my gosh.
Well, uh...
There she is.
Give her a round of applause, everybody.
Yes!
Yes, girl!
Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo! Gina!
Such a pleasure to meet you. Take care.
- Gina. - Hey.
I didn't mean to put you on the spot back there,
but your article was really good.
It reminded me of a young me.
I can't believe that you read it.
I not only read it, I read it twice.
Oh.
That's... That's two more times than I ever would've dreamed of.
You know, I was really intrigued
with the whole concept of group abduction.
- That's a great angle. - "Angle"?
That really happened to us.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend.
That's just publishing talk.
Oh, it's just publishing talk, Kelly.
So, yeah, honestly, I-I just can't believe that you liked it.
In fact, I'd love to discuss it with you further.
Do you want to meet in half-an-hour at the bistro?
Abs... Absolutely.
Great. I'll see you then.
Using the facial scans of the infant
and the DNA samples we collected,
I was able to generate an image
of what she might look like now.
Now we just cross-check her with every face on Earth.
- We can do that? - I can do that.
I mean, it takes forever.
Done.
- You found her? - Mm-hmm.
What?! Ugh!
Don't make me erase this.
This measures your exposure to galactic cosmic rays.
And a high GCR is proof
that you've been to outer space,
so it's pretty cool.
- You want to try it? - No need.
I actually haven't been to space.
Okay, well, Alex,
a lot of people who have been to space
don't know they've been to space, so...
- What are you talking about? - All right, look,
you said that you were gonna try
to have an open mind, so just try.
All right.
You're gonna be very disappointed.
I usually am.
Hi.
Do I just stand here, or...?
Wait, y-you got a seven.
That's so freaking high.
That's proof that you've been to outer space.
A-A-Alex, have you experienced lost time?
Does standing here and doing this count?
Come on, Richard, it looks like a curling iron
attached to an alarm clock.
Hey!
No offense, sir. It's very creative.
Sorry.
You know about Barney and Betty?
Uh, no.
They were among the first experiencers
to go public, back in 1961.
As if being an interracial couple in '61
wasn't enough drama.
Tell me about it.
You should check it out.
On a cool September night back in 1961,
Barney and Betty Hill set out on a drive
that would change their lives forever.
They were kidnapped by aliens
who claimed to be from the Zeta Reticuli System.
For years, Barney and Betty were terrified and confused.
- It's an amazing story, right? - Yeah.
I'm sorry I ran off.
I shouldn't have said what I said.
Did we make a mistake?
Can two experiencers be together?
Should we maybe see
what happens to these guys?
Yeah.
Mmm!
This is the only thing that's made sense today.
Hello, this is Alex.
Agent Foster, it's Saunders.
This a good time to talk?
Um, y-yeah.
How would you like to come back to the FBI?
This article you wrote has a lot of potential.
Really? Wow, thank you!
Well, I mean, it is a little rough, obviously.
- Totally. Absolutely. - But, you know,
with a few changes,
I think we could have a book on our hands.
Wow! I mean, you are...
- You're a geniu... I mean, I... - Thank you.
What were you thinking, like, just generally?
- Off the top of my head... - Uh-huh.
...what if I were you?
Uh, what?
You know, the understanding, good-hearted therapist
who tries to help Ozzie, but fails.
What if that person was me?
Ozzie was my friend.
It's... It's my story.
Well, I mean, right now it is your story,
but there's no book.
But now with my name on it, it's a book.
A best-selling book
that can change people's lives.
That... That's what I was hoping to do, yeah.
Well, then we both want the same thing.
Aliens have done terrible things
to all of us.
Now, you can be a victim,
or you can be a rich victim.
Think about it.
Whoa.
And that is only the beginning.
Nice outfit.
You, too.
Wow. Sorry.
Whoops.
It's just me.
No one died.
We just didn't put them back in the same place.
Is this... Did you put a baby in a jar?
Oh, my God!
Why would you ever do that?
Yeah.
One side of the story.
Too many fingers.
Everything is so much fun.
Fun, fun, fun,
and this table is just a table of disaster!
Why would you do that?
Whoa.
Yeah, that's what I said.
I mean, should I accept the offer?
Why do you need this guy again?
Because I'm not an author, Kelly.
I mean, and he is. He's a really good one.
I can't just, like, magically write a book.
Yeah, you can.
You wrote that article.
And he wouldn't be trying to buy it off you
- if it wasn't really good. - I know, but he's right.
No one's gonna buy the book without his name on it.
I mean, come on. Who am I?
- I'm a nobody. - Nobody?
You are Gina Morrison.
You are an alien-experiencer-support-group mediator
and facilitator.
That's not nothing.
What would Ozzie want?
Ozzie?
Ozzie would hate this guy.
I hate this guy.
Let me give you some advice.
I went all the way to Iceland
'cause I thought I needed some dude.
Don't let Leonard Bechdal be your Iceland.
You know, I... Hi, can I ask you a question?
Uh, my ovaries were stolen by aliens.
Do you think it's possible
that I could have star children out there?
Oh, it's not only possible, it's probable.
Margaret.
I... I think I'm late.
Oh, honey.
Oh, I thought something was wrong.
- How late? - Like, late-late.
Okay, you know what?
There's a CVS across the street.
Grab your purse, get ready to pee.
Okay.
Oh, isn't this exciting?
You and John could be having a baby.
Well, actually, we're, uh...
We're getting a divorce.
- Oh. - Yeah.
And it might not be John's.
- Oh. - It could be Doug's.
Father Doug's?
- Or it could be... - "Or"?
Do you remember my visitations with the White?
You know what, I think...
I just think you're a little upset right now.
Okay, first things first.
You might not even be pregnant.
Oh, crap, I'm pregnant.
Okay. Now you can worry.
Oh, Alex. You got to see this.
This is proof in a jar.
Richard, that's a giant salamander
in a jar of pickle juice.
Listen, I have something really important to tell you.
Is it more important than this?
I just got off the phone with the FBI.
Oh, okay.
Ozzie didn't die of a heart attack.
Oh, God.
I hate when I'm right.
The third man admitted to killing him.
Sodium pentothal.
And now he and Walsh
are both in a Russian prison,
which is good news.
I mean, at least we have the truth.
I don't buy it.
They... They redacted all your stuff.
They're hiding something.
They made a mistake. We all do.
They just called and apologized.
And, actually, they want me back.
Huh.
Well, I'm very happy for you
and for "the Russians."
Richard, I'm happy for all of us.
Now we know the truth.
Oh, do we?
Whoa!
Uh, wow, you keep an eye on that guy.
I'm sorry I said you had a bad experience.
That's okay.
If I'm being honest, I'm not even sure
my experience was that great, anyway.
I just wanted it for so long.
You know, it's never gonna be easy for us experiencers.
But if Betty and Barney could make it work,
- maybe we can, too? - Yeah.
Maybe we'll have our own booth one day.
Yvonne and Gerry...
Second most famous interracial experiencer couple in the galaxy.
Yeah.
That would be cool.
But I think I'd rather have a statue, though.
You'd look great in bronze, babe.
So cute!
There you go. Go towards the light.
- Mm-hmm. - Thank you.
Gina.
- Sorry about that. - Sorry.
Have you given some thought to my offer?
Yeah, she gave it some thought.
- Dickwad. - I'm sorry?
Thanks, Kelly. I've... I've got this.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Gina Morrison is not for sale.
And neither is Ozzie's story.
Well, that's too bad, because no one's ever going to hear it now.
And by the way,
I was lying when I said that your writing was good.
It's not.
Why am I surprised you lied?
You're just exploiting this for the money.
Were you even abducted?
Of course I was abducted!
How dare you minimize my experience like that!
Actually, it was my wife,
and you don't hear her complaining
about her vacation home in Spain.
I knew it.
Well, guess what? I don't need you.
I have a publisher.
Who?
I'm her publisher.
Here's your book back. You know what?
Actually, I'm gonna put it where it goes...
In the trash.
Bye.
Let's get out of here.
- Next. - Hello.
Don't mind them. They're alcoholics.
So, what'd you think of the convention?
Should I tell her or should you?
Tell me what?
I am going back to the FBI.
What? Why?
They found Ozzie's killer.
Or did they?
That's what I said.
Guys. They did.
Okay.
It wasn't aliens.
- Mm-hmm. - Okay.
It wasn't.
So, did you find her?
Yes, I did,
and you are never gonna guess where.
Where?
You want to guess?
No, I don't.
At a human convention
about... aliens.
What? That sounds stupid.
They are obsessed with us.
Oh, well, for good reason.
We're pretty great.
Wait till you see what I got you, my friend.
Look at this.
What's this?
Just a little thing to say thank you.
- It's offensive. - No.
They're stereotyping!
It's, uh... It's a cool thing.
This is Greycist.
This is a classic case of Greycism.
What happened to him?
Walsh.
He's protecting Foster.
Which means she knows something,
which means I have to kill her.