- Hey, what are you doing with my wok? - Come on, don't be so tight.
- I'm a struggling student. - Hello, stranger.
I don't want to just throw it all away
for a six-month jolly in some plush Abu Dhabi
- apartment. Oh. - It's Dubai.
Mam...
is Holly Rob's baby?
I dunno.
- Synced and corrected by chamallow & PetaG - - www.addic7ed.com -
♪ Standing at the bus stop with my shopping in my hand ♪
♪ And I'm overhearing elder ladies ♪
♪ As the rumours start to fly ♪
♪ You can hear them in the school yard ♪
♪ In the scrap yard, in the chip shop, in the phone box ♪
♪ In the pool hall, at the shoe stall, every corner turned around ♪
♪ It started with a school girl ♪
♪ Who was running, running home to her mam and dad ♪
♪ Told them she was playing in the change room ♪
♪ Of her local football side ♪
♪ They said tell us again, she told them again ♪
♪ They said tell us the truth they found it hard to believe ♪
♪ Cos he taught our Steve, he even trained me ♪
♪ Taught Uncle John who's father of three ♪
♪ But it only takes one tree ♪
♪ To make a thousand matches... ♪
All right, Ben. You've plenty of time for that.
Come on, Stell. We're not even inside and you're already blubbing.
Oh, Mam, don't embarrass me now.
I am not blubbing.
Just proud, I am.
♪ You see it in the class room, in the swimming pool ♪
♪ Where the matchstick men are made ♪
♪ At the scouts hall at the football ♪
♪ Where the wise we trust are paid ♪
♪ They all honour his name, he did a lot for the game... ♪
There you go.
Perfect. Like home from home.
Except your mother won't be here to do your washing.
No, because you're abandoning me.
We are not abandoning you.
- You're moving to Dubai. - For a few months, that's all.
And it's only a plane ride away.
Hey, I can always come and stay with you.
Meet your new friends, do some...
Jager... bombs?
They're going to love you, presh.
My son. You'll leave a boy and soon return a man.
- Come here. - Oh.
Better get going.
- That A472 traffic's... Yeah. - Be bugger.
Come here, you. Come here, you.
Oh.
Ooh!
One more thing.
Oh, you are so gross!
I know.
But if you can't handle Holly's crying,
the last thing you need is to get a girl pregnant.
If it's not on, Ben, it's not in.
Hey, babe, we need to get cash out.
- Oh, do it later. - No, for the 'lectric.
I thought we just paid that.
Oh.
Oh. Check the balance!
Make sure we're not overdrawn again.
Problem?
Oh.
Do you wanna little go on donkey-back?
I think she's a bit young to be honest, Glenn.
I meant you, not her.
Hello, stranger!
Dad! You've arrived!
Thought you'd have the bunting out for your old man.
Oh! Look at you! You're so brown!
Hiya, Ken. Long time no see.
- Dying to see this one, I am. - Oh, here.
Oh, hello, you.
Look at her.
She don't even look half English.
Well, she's a quarter English, quarter Syrian and half Welsh.
Well, well, well, the prodigal son have returned.
Here she is, my lovely sister!
- How you doing, kid?! - Save the niceties, good boy,
we've got a surprise party to plan for our mother.
You can see 'em later. Come on, you.
Yes. There you go.
Oh, he left his good trainers, look.
I'm missing him already.
- Yeah, but can you hear that? - What?
Peace...
and quite wonderful quiet.
- Anything to eat? - There's some ham in the fridge.
- Mam! - Stella!
Nice while it lasted. Hiya!
Oh, my God, you'll never guess what?
- You're pregnant? - What?! No!
- You're not, are you? - No!
Look, Rob's inheritance finally came through.
500 grand!
- Oh, my God! What?! - I know! It's there!
Now, in our account, just sitting there.
- Were you in on this? - Of course,
I sorted the probate and the annual dividends from Rob's company.
But, oh, why didn't you say nothing?
- Exactly! - That was me, it was.
He wanted to surprise you, I was glad to help.
Hey, Luke! Lend us a fiver.
[THEY LAUGH]
Anyway, I want to take everyone for a posh family meal this week,
seeing as Grandpa's back.
- Oh, Luke, that is so lovely. - [BABY CRIES]
Come here. What's wrong with Daddy's little girl?
Hmm? What's wrong?
What's wrong?
_
What do you think?
I'll get it finished proper and framed,
but it traces all of Mam's family,
- right back... - Well, it's something and nothing,
really, Ken, innit?
- I mean, you're her only son. - Oh, charming!
What have you got her, then?
Swarovski duck.
Oh, fair play, she'll love that.
But what it is, is I just thought, as seeing it's her hundredth,
nice to do something personal.
On your head, be it.
I just need a few more photos to finish it off proper.
Thought, when we go and see her up the home,
I could try and get a few old snaps out of her.
No point us going there before one.
She's pulling the balls at the meat raffle.
I mean, I know we were going to get something from Rob,
but I never thought it'd be this much.
- It is a lot of money, isn't it? - Yeah.
So, Benny boy got off all right, then?
Yeah, fine.
He'll be on the blower now, in a minute, with freshers' flu.
You look knackered.
Still not sleeping?
Not really, no.
I take it you haven't told Michael?
- I mean, that's the dream, isn't it? - Yeah.
Mam, if Holly's not Michael's baby, I might have another sister.
Not a half sister, like a full-blown 100% sister.
- Well, that's nice for you, then, innit? - Stell,
can we bring in some of those, um, twirly caramel things, please?
- OK. - And can I have some pop?
Yeah.
You've got to tell him, Mam.
You know you do.
On the house. It's camomile,
which I'm told is very relaxing.
Oh, I do really appreciate that.
Oh, right. Yes.
- Penny for them. - Look out!
The cheer up train have arrived.
Jag, a jug of Cheeky Vimto and a Knicker Pontyberry Glory, if you will.
You're the only one who ever gets the name correct.
- Mmm. - Coming right up.
You do look blue, babe.
Yeah, well, I am, as it goes.
I phoned Carl this morning
so Genevieve could say hello before I dropped her at nursery,
but he were out for the day...
with Fatty Boom Boom.
I'm not being mean, by the way, that's what Carl do call her. Hmm!
Getting on with his life, he was, Bobs.
Living.
And here I am, stuck in a rut.
Oh, babes.
A right pair we are.
You, alone and loveless.
- Me, alone and loveless. - Oh.
What happened to Wesley?
Oh, he met someone down Skewen way who do, like,
- the whole costume play thing. - Oh.
- Doomed from the outset, we were. - Mmm.
- Leave 'em to it. - Mmm.
- I even tried that Tinder. - Oh.
Oh, just a bunch of faceless torsos,
- and John Shop. - John Shop's married.
Exactly. The love rat!
But that's the trouble with this online dating game,
it's like a bag of Revels, you never know what you're going to get.
Most likely, it'll be a coffee cream.
You're right, Bobs.
Cheeky Vimto.
And will you be wanting two cherries and two spoons
- with the Berrybocker? - Hang on a minute, Jag...
I got a business proposal.
Holly's just gone down.
Started a list of things to ship to Dubai.
- Where's Billy? - Outside, practising his football.
- He's got Glenn in goal again. - Hmm.
Social services have e-mailed.
The family they had in mind, it's all fallen through.
- Right. - And they've asked
- if he can... - if he can stay with us.
For how long?
Well, until they do find somewhere, I suppose.
- Dubai's already booked. - I know.
But if we can't keep him,
it'll mean more emergency fostering and uprooting him again.
- I know, but... - Look, what if...
you went ahead without us?
What?
Me and Holly can join you when it's all sorted.
Stell, I'm not flying halfway across the world
- without my wife and baby. - I know it's not ideal
but you've worked so hard.
It could take months for them to find a family. No, I'm...
I'll call Al Hamadi and see if he can postpone the trip.
- Oh, stop it, will you? - Stop what?
Stop being so nice. Why are you being so nice?
I'm not being nice, I'm doing what any normal husband would do.
Yeah, well, I can't handle it, OK?
Stella?
[SHE SIGHS]
Do you wanna tell me what's going on?
It's, um...
it's too awful.
Jesus, plea... please don't tell me you're ill.
I was unfaithful to you.
What, when? What are you talking about?
With Rob. I had sex with Rob.
- No. - Last year.
- I've wanted to tell you for so long. - Stella, no.
It... it happened once. Just once.
Am I supposed to be grateful for that, am I?
Why the fuck are you telling me now?
Because there's something else.
Jesus, Stella, she...?
Is she his?
This is, um...
It's like I don't know who you are.
I mean, how could you? You...
you asked me to marry you, Stella.
You asked me to marry you.
And you'd just...
You knew?
All that time, you knew?
On our wedding day?
And all through...
Through the pregnancy and the birth?
Christ, we went through all of that together and you knew?
All that time, you knew that that baby could be Rob's?!
I can't even look at you.
We need to...
you know, find out properly.
We need to do a paternity test.
Another one.
I didn't think this would be my life. I...
really did not.
There's a company that does it in 24 hours
and they text you the results.
Oh, the express service.
"Find out that your world has fallen apart in just 24 hours."
- Amazing what they can do these days. - It's up to you, of course. I mean...
- whatever you want. - You think this is what I want?!
[HE SIGHS]
Let's... let's do the test.
Like I always said,
- swipe right, be buggered. - Mmm.
This is the personal touch, face-to-face, hand to hand.
Skin to skin. An app can't tell you if there's a spark there...
BOTH: But... Nadine and Bobby can!
Bravo. Bravo!
What ingenuity!
Ponty Partners will be a personal matchmaker
solely for the residents of Pontyberry and the outlying areas.
We're like the modern-day Cilla Black.
ALL: May she rest in peace.
As requested, some examples of my fine design work.
Your design work?
I do do posters.
Done a design course.
Here is my...
portfolio.
I do go around the businesses in Cardiff now and again,
touting for work.
Hasn't worked out yet, but God loves a trier.
These are good, but we need exceptional.
- Something classy. Chic. - Sophisticated.
Ooh, we need... this.
- A photo, like? - Mmm.
- I have a camera. - Ooh!
We are cooking with gas.
_
Babe, maybe we should wait a few days,
just make sure no-one's going to take it away from us.
No-one's taking it.
And I want to treat you. Anything you want. Mwah!
♪ Sometimes the skills I lack ♪
♪ They're just the things that hold me back ♪
♪ But that's the type of thing that makes me laugh the most ♪
♪ Why can't we just get along? ♪
♪ Cos I got the gist of holding on to you ♪
♪ Try holding on to me ♪
♪ And I made my bed today with the hope ♪
♪ That you would jump right in it ♪
♪ Though I don't with a lot I say ♪
♪ When I said I like you, I really meant it ♪
♪ And although all off the perfume you wear ♪
♪ Has a tendency to make me feel slightly ill ♪
♪ The fact it's on my pillow still ♪
- ♪ Is an encouraging sign ♪ - ♪ And we'll quickstep ♪
♪ Over the rooftops to get to your house... ♪
Aw, you love your bunny, don't you? Hmm.
[PHONE CHIMES & VIBRATES]
It's just Ben.
Cooey! You've got visitors!
Perfect.
- Your paternal grandmother is here. - Hiya.
- Hiya, Nana Kosh. - That's close enough.
I've got a bone to pick with you.
You know why your father's here, don't you?
Organising my hundreth birthday party!
And I'm tamping.
I don't want no party.
You've got to have a party, Nana Kosh.
That's where you are wrong, good girl.
I just want to turn 100 in peace and bloody quiet!
Right, I need to head to the allotment now.
- See you later. - Right.
Wonderful. Fabulous!
Work it. Own it!
Oh, the camera loves you, Nadine!
And I do love him.
We need to get these to the printers by six.
You can't rush perfection, Yanto Beed.
Bobs?! Come on in.
I thought we said, "Chic!"
You look stunning.
Utterly sublime.
Now, show me how that bow and arrow works, Cupid.
Cock it. Pull it. Fire it!
I do find this all very degrading.
We should at least take the necklace back, it was too much.
- Babe, enjoy it, you deserve it. - I love it.
♪ All I did was blink twice ♪
♪ From my homie ♪
♪ To my only, and... ♪
Oi, how the hell can you two afford fancy shops and that?
Never you mind.
Sounding good. Keep it up.
Babe, it's your bit.
♪ It was all now, never planned, no after ♪
- ♪ It was like games. Laughter ♪ - ♪ Jokes. ♪
- ♪ Live for the moment ♪ - ♪ Left it all open ♪
- ♪ Now I'm in... Flames ♪ - ♪ Deep. Lava... ♪
- ♪ Breathe. ♪ - Shut up and listen, mun.
Taxi back to Pontyberry, flash jewels around the neck, like,
and since when have them two got cash for designer gear?
Well, maybe he came up on the scratchcards.
♪ You're number one, when you was just a fling before... ♪
Right, that's enough fresh air for you.
You can get back on the PlayStation.
Yeah, if your grumpy old nan will let me near it.
See you later, Mike.
Thanks, Billy, good work.
The result came.
- [SEAGULLS CALLING] - [PANTING]
Thought I'd done a runner, didn't you?
No.
Well, yes, actually.
How you feeling?
Yeah, a bit lost.
Look, Michael, I'm not being funny,
but when all that happened with Beyonce, I forgave you, didn't I?
- We got through it, didn't we? - Stella, you can't compare
Beyonce with Rob, for Christ's sake.
He was your first love. He's had this hold over you since you were 16.
How am I meant to compete with that?
But it's not a competition.
Yes, it is. Rob's already won.
So, what we gonna do? What are we going to tell people?
Nothing. It's no-one else's business.
I've gotta get to work.
Oh, come on, come on! I got funeral in half-hour!
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you the inaugural poster
- for Ponty Partners. - Oh, my God! I'm tearing up.
[SHE GASPS]
What the hell is that?
- It's your nostril, babe. - I can see that!
What's it doing on my poster, Yanto Beed?!
Er...
Looks like we've hit a slight snag.
Nothing to worry about,
but... instead of 50 individual posters,
we've got one gigantic, 50-foot poster.
Billboard size, like.
[THEY GASP]
- The horror! - Aye, come on, come on, could be worse.
Least you haven't got a bat in the cave.
- [SHE GASPS] - [HE GIGGLES]
- All right, Mickey J? - What do you want?
Oh, "Hiya, mother of my child. Cracking to see you."
Hello, gorgeous boy.
What you want, Beyonce?
- Oh, that's bang out of order. - What you gotta be so harsh for?
BOTH: What makes you think we want something?
Well, do you?
Yeah. Will you mind Jackson for me tonight to go out on the piss?
No, sorry, we've got plans.
- You what? - You've got plans?
Dinner. Just the family.
- Luke's arranged it. - Where to you going?
- Rosemary House. - Well, that's a bit spenny, isn't it?
- Mmm, anything else? - Yeah. Can you lend us a fiver?
Right. Bye.
Luke's come into money.
From who?
Sad Rob, it is.
Table's book for seven.
OK.
And Zoe's mam's happy to have Holly as well as our two.
That's good of her.
Don't she wanna come?
Ah, you know what she's like. She's not fussed on going out.
Mmm.
Anyway. What are you doing here?
You could have texted.
All right. Charming.
I've come to check on my old girl, didn't I?
- Cos I've seen you looking happier. - Hmm.
So, I told Michael.
Right.
And we done a test, and she's Rob's. OK?
Oh, bloody hell!
Yeah. What a mess.
Right. Let me cancelled this dinner.
Oh, don't be silly. We gotta carry on as normal.
- What are we going to tell people? - Nothing.
It's nobody else's business. Only ours.
And Rob's.
- Yeah, well... - Stella Jackson!
I told you before and I'll tell you again,
no social chitchat on duty.
Now, move it. Poncho!
I gotta go.
See you tonight.
I'm having second thoughts.
- Oh, but you said I could put my posters up, - You're having second thoughts.
and this is a poster.
That's a verbal contract there, Jag.
No, looking again, I can see it... it has a certain appeal.
Thanks.
You're a friend and a confident.
Oh! We do love it.
Jag...?
I'm so sorry but I can't work my shift tonight.
- What? - It's an emergency.
Ah, I've won tickets to see a touring production of Grease.
It's the hottest ticket in town.
I'm sorry, Little Alan, I can't spare you.
But I have to go. You don't understand.
Jag, you can't stand between a man and his art.
I've got prior in the kitchens from my army days.
I'd be glad to help a comrade out.
Are you sure?
When the chips are down, someone's got to cook 'em.
Fine... er,
then if Little Alan can run you through the basics,
we have got ourselves a deal.
♪ You fly through my head like wine ♪
Good evening.
Table in the name of Morgan.
We're still waiting for a couple more, mind.
[WHISPERED] My God, this is lush.
Hey, Stell, isn't that your boss?
♪ ...of mine ♪
- ♪ Love, oh, love, oh careless love ♪ - If you'd like to follow me.
[WHISPERED] Cheryl?!
♪ In your clutches of desire ♪
♪ You've made me brave... ♪
What you two doing here?
What it is, is... family dinner, isn't it?
Yeah. And how'd that pertain to you, then?
Less of the lip now, Zo, I'm Luke's stepmother once removed.
Bit of respect, if you don't mind.
- Ah, where's Jackson? - Oh, relax, Mike. He's with my nana.
- Oh, for God's sake. - Nana Pat? Is that even safe?
Oh! Nana Pat's had seven babies in her time
and she've had three kittens,
I think she knows what she's doing, all right?
Anyway, we've ordered the drinks now, so...
Ah. Great.
Right, well, come on, then. Sit down.
Do you want to sit next to me?
Whatever, yeah.
[POSHLY] Good evening. We're with the Morgan party.
Come on, mun, we're missing the action.
♪ The whole whole darn... ♪
[CONTINUES SPEAKLY POSHLY] Sorry about my mother. She's very
- enthusiastic. - Hungry.
This way, please.
- ♪ It was such a romantic affair ♪ - Hey, Bren... isn't that...?
- ♪ And as we kissed and said goodnight ♪ - [SHE GASPS]
♪ A nightingale sang in Barclay Square ♪
Oh, my God. Auntie Brenda! Stella's dad, Ken?
- Hiya. - What are you doing here?
Well, well, well...
Little moonlighting Alan.
- I thought you was off seeing Grease? - Shh...
I'm just doing a trial shift, that's all.
But please don't tell Jag.
- Then your secret is safe with me. - Mam's the word.
Don't mention Mam!
♪ ...in Barclay Square ♪
♪ This heart of mine it beats... ♪
[MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY ON RADIO]
OK?
So, has Little Alan run you through the menu?
He has...
and I thanked him.
But I'm an innovator, Jag.
A creator.
- And I've had a few ideas of my own. - Oh dear.
So, what is on the menu?
Well, you see, best to stick to what you know.
So, I thought...
- sausages. - Sausages?
In a basket.
- Right. I don't think the punters... - And eggs...
in a basket, for the vegetarians.
- Mmm. - I do push boundaries, see, Jag.
What's with the box then, Ol?
Yeah, you got any weed in there, or what?
Never you mind.
[GASPS]
- Why would you ask her that? - Why wouldn't she have any?
You're asking a nan if she got weed in her box?
- Nan did in her box. - Course your nan did, she's a...
It's weird, this. Us two being so quiet.
Normally, we'd both be chopsing. It's like...
Do you think you're still in love with him?
With Rob?
Rob's dead. How can I be in love with him?
I notice you're not denying it.
Oh, Michael, don't do this to yourself.
Make sense, wouldn't it?
All those dreams you've been having.
Thinking back to when he came over again in the summer.
You spending all that time with him.
For God's sake, he was ill then.
Yes, I did love him. Of course I did, because he's Luke's dad.
He's Holly's dad.
Let's not forget he's Holly's dad, as well.
You right for drinks?
It's gonna take time, all this, mate.
Yeah.
Gorgeous place, isn't it?
Yeah. Lovely.
You OK, Stell?
Not really.
Luke told me everything about... you know.
Look, please don't give yourself a hard time.
Oh, Zoe.
Come here!
Cheryl.
I didn't know you could sing.
There's a lot you don't know about me, Zoe Morgan!
- Sounded gorgeous, didn't she, Stell? - Mmm.
You sing here often, is it?
Schedule permitting, aye,
but I'll be stopping now if they're letting any old riff-raff in here.
Right.
Oh, Cheryl, you may as well know,
the trip to Dubai is on hold for the moment.
- So, I will be here for my graduation, after all. - Oi!
Don't be talking to me about nursing and... and nursing
- and what have you, Stella Morris! - Jackson.
For tonight, I am Cherile,
musical artiste extraordinaire,
and I have got me an encore to perform.
- Auntie Brenda. - Cherile.
Stell, you gotta help me with your grandmother's box.
Ken's after the photos she's got in there but I reckon
- there's something else and all. - Oh...
leave Nana Kosh in peace, Auntie Bren.
Everyone's allowed a few secrets, you know?
Mmm!
Hey, I tell you who we saw earlier, Little Alan.
He's working in the kitchen, he is.
Oh, good for him.
Ken, man, you tup in the head, what's the matter with you, man?!
Ooh, sorry.
Right. I think it's high tide I said a few words.
Ladies and gentlemen, Beyonce and Keckers.
Now, if we've finished our shell-on prawns,
I'd like to say a few words.
Haven't we heard enough out of you for one lifetime?
Come on, Ken, bach, you speak.
All right. Yes. Sorry.
- Get your tits out, Ren! - Yo-hey!
Beyonce!
All right. All right.
Well, ah, what can I say, um...?
We're here tonight to celebrate Luke's inheritance.
I'm sure he'd rather have his dad still with us
but, there you are, life can be very cruel.
Oh, Len, man, don't be bringing the mood down now, Christ.
Yeah, sorry. Anyway, uh...
it's wonderful to be back home...
with my family.
Because there's nothing more important than family.
Family!
You know, fatherhood was the hardest job I've ever undertaken,
and that includes asphalting the roof down the bowls club.
Big job you've got on your plate, here, Michael...
but, I promise you, it's worth it.
My hat comes off to you...
and my heart goes out to you.
There's nothing like it.
To family.
ALL: To family.
What a success! I'm sorry I doubted you.
I'm run jagged out there. These baskets are the talk of the town.
People just can't believe we're not using plates.
I don't think in straight lines, Jag.
Sometimes the results are genius...
other times, the results are dark.
Very, very dark.
Well, keep at it.
Aye, I will.
I'm branching out now.
You can tell the punters,
it's not just sausages in a basket and eggs in a basket.
I'm adding falafel in the basket.
Pew! You're blowing my mind, my friend.
- Spaghetti in a basket! - Sorry?
Thinking out loud, I am.
- Here you go. - Ooh!
[CHEERING]
Enjoy.
With, what, you're dating agency and my basket food,
we're riding high.
First time in a long time, Jag, I do feel alive.
Now I know why so many spinsters do go into business.
It do fill the void.
Our first client is here. All ready for their assessment.
Good luck.
Rhian.
Right, our taxi's here.
- Tatty-bye, everybody. - Bye
Tatty-bye!
OK, better go and get Holly.
Yeah, ah, actually, Mam...
- Uh... - What?
There's, ah, something we wanted to talk to you about.
- Sounds ominous. - Not really.
Ah, look, we've been talking...
and we want to use Rob's money to buy the house we're in now.
- Right. - Good idea.
Yeah, the kids love it there, and... and so do we...
and once we've paid for it and kept a few grand back for other stuff...
we'll still have half the money left.
Right.
Which we wanna give to Holly.
I know it's all a bit sensitive at the moment, but...
just have think. Yeah?
Cos that money was meant for Rob's children.
- And, well, Holly is... - Holly's one of Rob's children.
Yeah.
I couldn't, in all conscience, keep the whole amount.
- It wouldn't be right. - It's, um...
incredibly generous of you, Luke.
It's not. It's just doing what's fair.
Yo, losers?! Woop!
Whoa, there she goes!
[KECKERS LAUGHS]
Oh, can we cadge a lift?
You rinses me every time, babe!
Well, I think Rhian's a perfect match for John Shop.
John Shop's married.
Exactly. She wants no strings attached.
And his strings are attached to his wife.
We're not home wreckers, Bobby Gittins.
Oh, fat load of good this is if we can't agree on nothing.
Oh, maybe I can't do this.
Matching so-and-so with so-and-so. What if we get it wrong?
I can't even pick my own love match.
Hey, now,
your Pontyberry Cilla Black, remember.
BOTH: God rest her soul.
We just need to get your creative juices pumping.
Maybe what you need is, like, a... a trial date to get
- back in the swing of things. - Hmm.
Two sausages in a basket, on the house, for bringing in the punters.
Jags, we do need your body and your mind.
Sorry. I am working.
For a trial date with Nadine.
When do you want me?
And that's how I got the nickname The Catherine Wheel.
What a fascinating, interesting story. Very good.
Now you tell her about you.
Something personal.
Well, um...
this is a new shirt.
Personal, not dull.
A word to the wide, Jag.
- RAS. I have an Uncle Raz. - Not him.
RAS. The art of making people fall in love with you through listening.
Receive, appreciate, and summarise.
You talk, and I'll RAS.
OK, well I am divorced from Tanisha, as you know,
- and then there was Carol. - Oh, Carol, of course.
See, I'm receiving.
But then she left and...
Oh, I appreciate that must be very hard.
Appreciating.
She's appreciating, isn't it?
And here I am, running the Frisky,
- surrounded by laughter and friends... - Surrounded by friends, you are.
Finally, I'm summarising.
- See, it works. - But then at night it's just me.
I go upstairs to an empty bed.
Oh, yeah, all right man, Jag,
Christ, you don't half go on.
No woman signed up to Ponty Partners
is gonna wanna sit though all that bleating and moaning.
You are absolutely right.
You talk a lot of sense.
- Really? - Hmm.
No-one's ever said that to me before.
Love more girl.
You're back in the game.
I'm totally stuffed.
I'm off to bed. See you tomorrow.
- See you, Billy. - Nite, Billy.
- Right. - I'll put Holly down, if you like.
- You sure? - Yes.
Not like I'm just going to stop looking after her.
Cup of Horlicks, Mam.
Oh, ta.
Mmm.
Three tumblers of sherry and she's as alert as a meerkat.
The woman's got a steel belly.
Anyway, I been thinking...
forget the box.
I'm a woman of honour,
and if my mother wants her secrets,
I respect those secrets.
[SHE SNORES]
Good God, of course!
A cup of Horlicks has knocked her out like a what you call.
It's her kryptonite.
Now then...
I thought you said we should respect her secrets.
Respect her secrets be buggered.
You don't know the combination.
She won't known that many numbers.
No, didn't work.
Try my date of birth.
- No. - Try yours.
Oh, it won't be that.
[OLWEN SNORES]
Well, blow me down.
She do love me after all.
Well... what's in there, then?
Tamagotchi.
Metal Pog slammer.
- [OLWEN SNORES] - [AUNTIE BRENDA GASPS]
Them's my favourite earrings!
She told me she was mugged for them!
There you are, it's photos for you.
Open it.
"I still think about you, Olwen.
I heard today that you finally gave birth to baby...
Brenda."
That's me! I'm the little baby!
"And that she is healthy...
if a little plump.
Thank you for keeping my involvement under wraps...
a bastard child would ruin me."
Ken...
I'm a bastard child.
[MICHAEL SIGHS]
She get off all right?
Yeah.
I suppose we need to talk about Luke's offer.
We could...
I don't know, set up some kind of trust fund or
open a bank account in her name...
I was watching her, just now...
out for the count.
[CHUCKLES QUIETLY]
She does look like him.
She doesn't look like anyone, she looks at herself.
Stella, I don't know if I can do this.
- Oh, of course, you can, you... - I don't know if I can
- move on as if nothing's happened. - It's just gonna take time, that's all.
I wish I could, but I'm...
I'm just not big enough a person.
I hate the fact you had sex with him, it makes my skin crawl!
Keep your voice down, you'll...
- Billy might hear you. - Oh, God, we can't have that, can we?
We can't have Billy, or anyone else for that matter,
knowing what you've done, what you're really like.
Saint Stella Jackson, she's got her reputation to protect, after all!
I'm... Oh, fuck this!
- Where you going? - I don't know!
[DOOR SLAMS]
How did she get to a hundred
and never find the time to tell me
that my father was not the man I thought he was?
No, I just came, uh, to...
pick up a few things.
- For Dubai. - What?
- Synced and corrected by chamallow & PetaG - - www.addic7ed.com -