1
00:00:00,531 --> 00:00:01,963
The National Weather Service
2
00:00:02,032 --> 00:00:03,432
has issued a heightened tornado watch.
3
00:00:03,500 --> 00:00:05,000
Everybody stay inside!
4
00:00:05,069 --> 00:00:07,335
We are gonna lock this place down!
5
00:00:07,404 --> 00:00:09,604
Dear lord Jesus, in your
infinite power and compassion,
6
00:00:09,673 --> 00:00:11,006
please save us!
7
00:00:11,075 --> 00:00:12,674
I love you, Jeff! I didn't want to die
8
00:00:12,743 --> 00:00:14,076
without letting you know how I feel!
9
00:00:14,144 --> 00:00:16,411
Hey! Sandra! Sandra!
10
00:00:16,976 --> 00:00:19,376
Dear Allah, in your
infinite power and compassion,
11
00:00:19,423 --> 00:00:20,956
please save us from destruction.
12
00:00:21,025 --> 00:00:23,125
Thank you for being there for me
13
00:00:23,193 --> 00:00:25,427
and for keeping me calm.
14
00:00:25,496 --> 00:00:26,428
Of course.
15
00:00:26,497 --> 00:00:28,130
Anytime.
16
00:00:39,143 --> 00:00:43,401
I hope you all had an amazing vacation.
17
00:00:43,589 --> 00:00:44,980
By "vacation," you mean the two months
18
00:00:45,049 --> 00:00:46,381
we were laid off without pay?
19
00:00:46,450 --> 00:00:48,216
Uh-huh. Anyways,
20
00:00:48,285 --> 00:00:51,186
I've been doing a lot of soul-searching
21
00:00:51,255 --> 00:00:53,909
- since the tornado, and...
- Coming through!
22
00:00:55,025 --> 00:00:57,092
Almost got me there.
And... and it's been raising
23
00:00:57,161 --> 00:01:00,540
some big questions for me.
Questions like...
24
00:01:01,893 --> 00:01:03,760
Questions that...
25
00:01:05,395 --> 00:01:07,962
Why did the tornado hit us?
26
00:01:08,172 --> 00:01:11,802
And why did it stop
when I prayed to Allah?
27
00:01:12,610 --> 00:01:14,443
- And why...
- Ah!
28
00:01:16,413 --> 00:01:19,214
Sorry. I almost fell.
29
00:01:19,283 --> 00:01:23,518
Does that mean that Allah
is the one true god?
30
00:01:23,587 --> 00:01:27,389
Or that Allah and Jesus
are the same god?
31
00:01:27,458 --> 00:01:31,159
Or... or that they're different gods,
32
00:01:31,228 --> 00:01:34,262
but with varying responsibilities?
33
00:01:34,331 --> 00:01:36,298
What's the meaning of...
34
00:01:39,336 --> 00:01:41,136
What's the...
35
00:01:43,674 --> 00:01:46,475
So that's what I've been thinking about.
36
00:01:46,543 --> 00:01:49,411
Anyone else have thoughts on that?
37
00:01:53,445 --> 00:01:55,717
Okay, then.
38
00:01:55,786 --> 00:01:56,880
Let's get to work!
39
00:01:57,655 --> 00:01:59,888
What was that, a 20-minute walk?
40
00:01:59,957 --> 00:02:01,523
23.
41
00:02:01,592 --> 00:02:04,793
Remember, single file
when we cross the highway.
42
00:02:04,862 --> 00:02:07,863
- Are we cloud one?
- No.
43
00:02:12,636 --> 00:02:14,870
Wow, that's really bad luck.
44
00:02:14,938 --> 00:02:17,439
Yeah, it... well, it wasn't
just my apartment.
45
00:02:17,508 --> 00:02:20,275
The tornado leveled
the whole building, so...
46
00:02:20,344 --> 00:02:23,378
Scary. Were you in it at the time?
47
00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:26,014
No, I was... here, at the time.
48
00:02:26,820 --> 00:02:29,951
Oh, right. Blonde moment.
49
00:02:30,020 --> 00:02:31,820
Yeah, so anyway,
everything I own is gone,
50
00:02:31,889 --> 00:02:33,989
and now I'm... I'm living
in a FEMA trailer.
51
00:02:34,058 --> 00:02:37,225
So in a way, you're officially
trailer trash now?
52
00:02:37,294 --> 00:02:39,961
Well, I am living in a trailer, so...
53
00:02:40,030 --> 00:02:41,134
Ha. Admits it.
54
00:02:42,332 --> 00:02:45,200
Oh. Why don't you move into
Garrett's apartment?
55
00:02:45,269 --> 00:02:46,468
No! No.
56
00:02:46,537 --> 00:02:48,437
I mean... nah.
57
00:02:48,512 --> 00:02:50,473
Jonah doesn't want to live
with a roommate. He's an adult.
58
00:02:50,474 --> 00:02:53,141
Yeah, no. I... I mean,
I... I would, I would love that,
59
00:02:53,210 --> 00:02:55,844
but I would never...
I would never impose.
60
00:02:55,913 --> 00:02:57,713
But I mean, it wouldn't be
a problem. I could do it.
61
00:02:57,781 --> 00:03:00,082
It's just that it's... really cramped.
62
00:03:00,150 --> 00:03:01,550
Sure, sure, yeah.
63
00:03:01,618 --> 00:03:03,852
Oh. I thought you had a two-bedroom.
64
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,521
Ah, okay. Sure, yes,
65
00:03:06,590 --> 00:03:08,557
you know, if you want to get
architectural about it,
66
00:03:08,625 --> 00:03:12,027
then yes, I do have a second bedroom,
67
00:03:12,096 --> 00:03:14,863
but, when you use a wheelchair,
you need multiple bedrooms.
68
00:03:14,932 --> 00:03:15,806
Oh. Why?
69
00:03:15,807 --> 00:03:16,965
Safety.
70
00:03:17,034 --> 00:03:18,744
Excuse me. Gotta go.
71
00:03:26,944 --> 00:03:28,677
Oops. Sorry.
72
00:03:42,025 --> 00:03:43,458
Back at it, huh?
73
00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:46,285
Yeah. Yeah, it's like we never left.
74
00:03:48,098 --> 00:03:50,996
So, uh, how are things at home?
75
00:03:51,473 --> 00:03:52,973
Emma. How's... how's Emma?
76
00:03:53,137 --> 00:03:55,971
Awesome. Yeah, she's starting
high school.
77
00:03:56,039 --> 00:03:59,174
Oh, wow. Uh, that's exciting. Teenager.
78
00:03:59,243 --> 00:04:01,243
- I know. I know, right?
- Look out!
79
00:04:01,311 --> 00:04:02,644
Oh boy.
80
00:04:06,283 --> 00:04:07,155
Uh...
81
00:04:07,818 --> 00:04:11,486
So, we... we never...
talked about the...
82
00:04:11,998 --> 00:04:13,188
Do we have to?
83
00:04:13,257 --> 00:04:15,190
Oh, yeah, no, I mean, I'd rather not,
84
00:04:15,266 --> 00:04:16,255
if you don't need to.
85
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,755
No! I don't. I don't need to.
86
00:04:17,823 --> 00:04:19,222
Great. Yeah, no, I don't need to either.
87
00:04:19,291 --> 00:04:20,457
No, yeah. Same. Same...
88
00:04:20,525 --> 00:04:22,258
Same, same. Just, uh, you know.
89
00:04:22,327 --> 00:04:23,860
Didn't want...
90
00:04:23,929 --> 00:04:25,395
Things to be awkward.
91
00:04:25,464 --> 00:04:26,830
- No! Awkward.
- Pfft.
92
00:04:26,906 --> 00:04:28,645
It's not awkward. It's fine. I'm fine.
93
00:04:28,661 --> 00:04:30,208
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- You are fine.
94
00:04:30,268 --> 00:04:32,035
I mean fine, like you're...
I am superfine.
95
00:04:32,104 --> 00:04:33,470
- Hey, Marcus!
- Marcus!
96
00:04:33,538 --> 00:04:34,904
Hey, what's going on, buddy?
97
00:04:34,973 --> 00:04:36,539
Just carrying some stuff.
98
00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:39,659
Classic Marcus.
99
00:04:39,711 --> 00:04:40,363
Hang out!
100
00:04:40,365 --> 00:04:41,937
Yeah, I'm glad they hired you back.
101
00:04:41,938 --> 00:04:44,614
Okay. Thanks. I will.
102
00:04:45,277 --> 00:04:46,282
Hey, listen, I've been thinking
103
00:04:46,351 --> 00:04:48,858
we should kick Mateo
out of the friend group.
104
00:04:51,390 --> 00:04:54,024
So, maybe they're the same god,
105
00:04:54,092 --> 00:04:56,459
but with different responsibilities.
106
00:04:56,528 --> 00:04:58,728
- Yes, can we table that?
- Oh, sure.
107
00:04:58,805 --> 00:05:00,438
I just want to make sure
that, construction aside,
108
00:05:00,499 --> 00:05:01,824
you're going to be ready
for the opening.
109
00:05:01,825 --> 00:05:04,668
Oh, don't worry.
I got your email right here.
110
00:05:04,736 --> 00:05:06,469
Uh, we got door prizes,
111
00:05:06,538 --> 00:05:08,104
and Minions for the kids,
112
00:05:08,173 --> 00:05:09,873
and Howie Mandel's coming?
113
00:05:09,941 --> 00:05:11,074
No, not the head of marketing.
114
00:05:11,143 --> 00:05:12,909
The comedian. Same name.
115
00:05:12,978 --> 00:05:16,079
Oh. Well, relax.
I'm not going to let you down.
116
00:05:16,148 --> 00:05:17,614
Good. I'll see you today at 3:00.
117
00:05:17,683 --> 00:05:19,549
Oh. Why're you coming at 3:00?
118
00:05:19,618 --> 00:05:21,117
For the opening.
119
00:05:23,355 --> 00:05:24,554
Uh-huh.
120
00:05:24,623 --> 00:05:26,089
It says, "Bring back the staff"
121
00:05:26,158 --> 00:05:28,291
a week before the grand opening,
on the 28th."
122
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:29,479
Today's the 28th.
123
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:30,802
Well, he couldn't be more clear!
124
00:05:30,927 --> 00:05:33,296
Yes! He could've said
"The grand opening,
125
00:05:33,365 --> 00:05:35,460
which is on the 28th."
126
00:05:35,476 --> 00:05:37,801
This makes the 28th
sound like the start date!
127
00:05:37,869 --> 00:05:40,603
"Bring back the staff a week
before the grand opening...
128
00:05:40,672 --> 00:05:42,906
"on the 28th." Yeah, this is confusing.
129
00:05:42,974 --> 00:05:45,722
No! "Bring back the staff
a week before..."
130
00:05:45,957 --> 00:05:47,756
the grand opening on the 28th."
131
00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:50,092
He didn't say it like that.
You're adding emphasis.
132
00:05:50,161 --> 00:05:51,420
Okay, guys. We just need to figure out
133
00:05:51,421 --> 00:05:52,171
what we're going to do.
134
00:05:52,172 --> 00:05:53,662
Or as Dina would put it,
135
00:05:53,731 --> 00:05:54,623
"We need to figure out
136
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,243
what we're gonna do."
137
00:05:56,244 --> 00:05:58,147
Maybe I would.
Maybe I would say it like that.
138
00:05:58,148 --> 00:05:59,968
Yeah, well good luck in radio.
139
00:06:05,023 --> 00:06:06,426
Attention, employee...
140
00:06:07,524 --> 00:06:08,924
Attention. Test. Testing.
141
00:06:10,163 --> 00:06:11,007
Ah, dang it.
142
00:06:11,447 --> 00:06:13,194
Listen up, everybody!
143
00:06:13,257 --> 00:06:16,250
We're opening today
in, like, four hours!
144
00:06:16,319 --> 00:06:19,374
So that means we need to be
ready in, like, four hours!
145
00:06:20,030 --> 00:06:20,807
To be honest,
146
00:06:20,909 --> 00:06:22,427
I don't think we can do that.
147
00:06:22,575 --> 00:06:24,174
Just doesn't seem possible.
148
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,847
It's not something
that can be accomplished.
149
00:06:26,900 --> 00:06:28,567
But that's just my opinion, though.
150
00:06:28,635 --> 00:06:29,988
All right. Peace!
151
00:06:31,416 --> 00:06:33,210
Okay, so we don't have much time,
152
00:06:33,217 --> 00:06:34,476
which means we need to stock the shelves
153
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:35,691
with the big items first, and...
154
00:06:35,692 --> 00:06:36,534
Wait.
155
00:06:36,535 --> 00:06:38,351
What if we just set up one aisle,
156
00:06:38,352 --> 00:06:39,403
take a picture of it,
157
00:06:39,551 --> 00:06:41,097
blow that bad boy up life-sized,
158
00:06:41,099 --> 00:06:43,790
and then just slap it over
all the other aisles? Boom.
159
00:06:43,791 --> 00:06:45,479
Uh-huh, maybe.
160
00:06:45,548 --> 00:06:47,648
Look, we can always redo stuff tomorrow,
161
00:06:47,717 --> 00:06:50,285
so for now, it's better to do
things fast and bad
162
00:06:50,286 --> 00:06:51,681
than slow and good.
163
00:06:51,682 --> 00:06:54,044
But fast and good is better.
164
00:06:54,045 --> 00:06:54,996
What are you doing?
165
00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:56,704
What? Fast and good is better
166
00:06:56,705 --> 00:06:57,868
than fast and bad.
167
00:06:57,869 --> 00:06:59,585
Yes, but for now,
168
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,645
we're gonna prioritize speed.
169
00:07:01,646 --> 00:07:03,458
Okay. I'm... I'm prioritizing both.
170
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:05,482
You can't prioritize both!
171
00:07:05,483 --> 00:07:07,264
Forget it. Just make the place
172
00:07:07,310 --> 00:07:09,123
look as good as possible
before Jeff gets here.
173
00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:11,706
Wait. Jeff is coming... today?
174
00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:12,294
Yep.
175
00:07:12,794 --> 00:07:14,804
How about slow and bad?
176
00:07:14,805 --> 00:07:15,624
Ugh.
177
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:21,387
- Hey.
- Hey.
178
00:07:21,451 --> 00:07:24,710
- What is going on here?
- Oh, I, uh...
179
00:07:24,725 --> 00:07:26,130
I can't shower in the mornings
180
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,013
because Cliff, in the adjoining trailer,
181
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:29,018
only takes baths.
182
00:07:29,221 --> 00:07:31,959
Well, gotta do what you gotta do.
183
00:07:32,066 --> 00:07:34,862
Yeah. It's... it's just
until I find a place,
184
00:07:34,863 --> 00:07:37,842
or someone who will let me
stay with them, so...
185
00:07:40,983 --> 00:07:43,974
Mm-hmm. Well, I'ma...
186
00:07:43,975 --> 00:07:46,940
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you do you. Yeah.
187
00:07:47,506 --> 00:07:49,143
- What'd you say?
- Huh?
188
00:07:49,306 --> 00:07:51,312
Oh, I... I thought you said something.
189
00:07:51,410 --> 00:07:52,648
I didn't say anything.
190
00:07:53,402 --> 00:07:54,327
All right.
191
00:07:55,785 --> 00:07:58,752
We are looking for
Minions costumes only.
192
00:07:58,820 --> 00:08:01,454
What in the name of God
is "Lego Ninjago?"
193
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:02,376
Excuse me.
194
00:08:02,377 --> 00:08:03,689
Just hang on. Uh, we're closed.
195
00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:05,107
You're going to need to
come back at 3:00.
196
00:08:05,108 --> 00:08:07,412
I'm not a customer. I'm Howie.
197
00:08:08,974 --> 00:08:09,817
Mandel.
198
00:08:10,326 --> 00:08:11,592
I was told to be here at 11:00.
199
00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:13,093
Oh, you're working here?
200
00:08:13,094 --> 00:08:14,868
Yeah, kinda.
201
00:08:14,937 --> 00:08:16,605
Oh, damn it. God!
202
00:08:17,339 --> 00:08:18,827
I hate when they don't tell me
about new hires.
203
00:08:18,828 --> 00:08:20,574
Okay, find yourself a
vest and a name tag
204
00:08:20,643 --> 00:08:21,975
and go help Leonard in produce.
205
00:08:22,051 --> 00:08:23,596
Sorry about that.
206
00:08:24,232 --> 00:08:25,798
I'm Howie Mandel.
207
00:08:25,813 --> 00:08:27,767
Yeah, that's fine. Tell payroll.
208
00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:29,698
Vest. Tag. Produce. Go!
209
00:08:30,386 --> 00:08:31,396
What...
210
00:08:33,355 --> 00:08:34,958
"America's Got Talent"?
211
00:08:34,959 --> 00:08:36,875
I don't know what you're asking me.
212
00:08:38,524 --> 00:08:39,656
Okay.
213
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:40,690
Wow.
214
00:08:41,041 --> 00:08:43,397
Okay, you're going to have to
redo the whole thing.
215
00:08:43,466 --> 00:08:45,399
I'd have to take everything
off the shelf to move it.
216
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,986
Well, then it's a bad day
to be Earl, isn't it?
217
00:08:48,537 --> 00:08:50,170
Don't sigh!
218
00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:51,458
I can hear you sighing!
219
00:08:51,459 --> 00:08:52,396
- Glenn.
- What?
220
00:08:52,397 --> 00:08:54,660
We don't have time
to restock a whole shelf.
221
00:08:54,661 --> 00:08:56,351
Exactly. See, Earl?
222
00:08:56,352 --> 00:08:58,679
Now you've pissed off Amy, too.
223
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:01,361
Sometimes I think
the whole world's incompetent.
224
00:09:01,362 --> 00:09:03,451
You know what, Glenn? I am so glad
225
00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:05,786
that you finished writing
your speech so quickly,
226
00:09:05,855 --> 00:09:07,988
so that you could be here
to supervise everything.
227
00:09:08,087 --> 00:09:10,127
- My speech?
- Well, yeah, I mean,
228
00:09:10,147 --> 00:09:13,344
obviously you're going to have
to speak at the ribbon cutting.
229
00:09:14,163 --> 00:09:15,629
Obviously.
230
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:18,131
Don't worry! We'll do
the best we can without you.
231
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,666
Leave the shelf where it is.
232
00:09:19,735 --> 00:09:21,255
Not today, Earl.
233
00:09:22,138 --> 00:09:23,771
What am I going to say to Jeff?
234
00:09:24,011 --> 00:09:25,396
He never called me back.
235
00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:28,517
Maybe he didn't get the message.
236
00:09:28,767 --> 00:09:31,696
Maybe he couldn't hear you
over the tornado.
237
00:09:31,697 --> 00:09:34,581
Well, I don't even know if
I want him to have heard me.
238
00:09:34,650 --> 00:09:36,628
- It's complicated.
- Mm.
239
00:09:36,635 --> 00:09:39,157
My boyfriend Jerry
got hit in the head by a mailbox
240
00:09:39,158 --> 00:09:40,351
during the tornado.
241
00:09:40,585 --> 00:09:42,202
He's been in a coma ever since.
242
00:09:42,485 --> 00:09:44,385
I visit him every day to read to him.
243
00:09:44,994 --> 00:09:46,527
I'm on the fifth Harry
Potter book, and...
244
00:09:46,595 --> 00:09:47,621
Ooh! You know what we could do?
245
00:09:47,622 --> 00:09:49,665
Maybe we could do a test
in front of one of those big fans
246
00:09:49,666 --> 00:09:51,071
to see if he could hear you.
247
00:09:51,236 --> 00:09:53,236
God, that's an amazing idea!
248
00:09:53,836 --> 00:09:55,357
He's off the breathing tube.
249
00:09:56,084 --> 00:09:57,061
So, that's good.
250
00:09:58,173 --> 00:10:00,881
Okay, I need three of you
to help me unload a truck.
251
00:10:00,882 --> 00:10:03,556
Don, Marcus, and... Myrtle.
252
00:10:04,415 --> 00:10:05,920
Meet me in back in five.
253
00:10:08,493 --> 00:10:09,522
Tough luck, dude.
254
00:10:09,523 --> 00:10:10,784
Ah, it's fine.
255
00:10:11,869 --> 00:10:13,172
Oh, hey, listen.
256
00:10:13,173 --> 00:10:15,098
I heard about your living situation
257
00:10:15,099 --> 00:10:18,318
and if you want, you can crash with me.
258
00:10:18,961 --> 00:10:21,025
Wow. Uh, that's...
259
00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:23,312
That's really nice, Marcus. Thank you.
260
00:10:23,313 --> 00:10:26,111
Yes! The horsemen! Living together!
261
00:10:26,399 --> 00:10:27,599
Partying hard.
262
00:10:27,674 --> 00:10:29,407
Luring ladies back to the pad.
263
00:10:29,523 --> 00:10:31,189
I'm sorry. "Luring?"
264
00:10:31,191 --> 00:10:33,425
Hilarious. You know what I mean.
265
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:34,654
I don't, actually.
266
00:10:34,655 --> 00:10:36,839
You're a crazy man.
We're going to be on fire.
267
00:10:36,841 --> 00:10:38,377
Chicks are going to be
banging down the door,
268
00:10:38,378 --> 00:10:40,929
and we'll be like,
"Please, ladies, one at a time."
269
00:10:42,399 --> 00:10:43,277
One at a time,
270
00:10:43,278 --> 00:10:45,118
as in there's... there's two of us
271
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,193
and one of them?
272
00:10:48,994 --> 00:10:50,794
No.
273
00:10:54,514 --> 00:10:56,424
Hey, uh, Garrett.
274
00:10:56,425 --> 00:10:59,166
Um, I'm supposed to give a speech later,
275
00:10:59,234 --> 00:11:03,136
and I'm a little nervous
about it, uh, given that...
276
00:11:03,219 --> 00:11:04,996
I'm sorry. I'm a little
embarrassed to say.
277
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:07,007
- Your voice.
- What? No. Not...
278
00:11:07,076 --> 00:11:09,582
Given that I didn't prepare anything.
279
00:11:11,014 --> 00:11:12,431
What's wrong with my voice?
280
00:11:12,432 --> 00:11:14,070
Nothing. You have a nice voice.
281
00:11:14,071 --> 00:11:15,817
Garrett, I'm not a child.
282
00:11:15,824 --> 00:11:17,395
If there's something
wrong with my voice,
283
00:11:17,396 --> 00:11:18,713
you can just tell me.
284
00:11:19,175 --> 00:11:20,741
Okay. Um...
285
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:23,417
Some people... not me,
but some people...
286
00:11:23,418 --> 00:11:25,425
might find your voice, octave-wise,
287
00:11:25,776 --> 00:11:28,065
to be the teeniest, tiniest, bit...
288
00:11:29,098 --> 00:11:29,656
High.
289
00:11:29,925 --> 00:11:31,525
What?
290
00:11:31,813 --> 00:11:33,080
- Yeah.
- Who?
291
00:11:33,769 --> 00:11:35,945
Uh, anyone with ears.
292
00:11:39,805 --> 00:11:40,887
That's everybody.
293
00:11:40,889 --> 00:11:42,547
Yeah, it's high.
294
00:11:54,726 --> 00:11:57,260
Hi, I'm Glenn. This is my voice.
295
00:11:57,667 --> 00:12:01,269
How come no one ever told me
that I sounded like that?
296
00:12:01,331 --> 00:12:02,701
We thought you knew.
297
00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:06,009
But that's not how I sound
on the inside!
298
00:12:06,035 --> 00:12:09,533
On the inside, I sound like,
"Hi, I'm Glenn."
299
00:12:09,939 --> 00:12:12,039
That's the same voice.
300
00:12:12,108 --> 00:12:14,642
Not what you hear. What I hear.
301
00:12:14,711 --> 00:12:17,238
Okay, I found a costume shop
with two Minion costumes.
302
00:12:17,239 --> 00:12:18,599
Do I have a weird voice?
303
00:12:18,626 --> 00:12:19,974
Yeah. It's preposterous.
304
00:12:19,976 --> 00:12:22,241
Anyway, I guess they were
rented for some birthday party,
305
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,579
but the kid was murdered or kidnapped,
306
00:12:23,581 --> 00:12:25,313
or changed his mind or
something. I don't know.
307
00:12:25,314 --> 00:12:26,564
I wasn't listening. The point is,
308
00:12:26,565 --> 00:12:28,070
you two should go right
now and pick them up.
309
00:12:28,078 --> 00:12:30,265
- What? Why us two?
- Together?
310
00:12:30,326 --> 00:12:31,811
We have a lot to do. All right?
311
00:12:31,820 --> 00:12:33,027
Henry can't be around children.
312
00:12:33,096 --> 00:12:34,353
Marcus is on his third DUI.
313
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:35,726
Elias is afraid of Minions.
314
00:12:36,267 --> 00:12:37,894
Nobody knows where Brett is!
315
00:12:40,436 --> 00:12:42,437
Uh, wow. This is the worst.
316
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:45,239
Sorry, no, I... no.
317
00:12:45,308 --> 00:12:48,142
I just meant that... that this...
318
00:12:48,978 --> 00:12:50,481
This is the worst.
319
00:12:57,654 --> 00:12:59,572
You want to listen to a podcast?
320
00:13:00,123 --> 00:13:00,844
Sure.
321
00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:05,793
My phone got stolen from my trailer.
322
00:13:05,862 --> 00:13:07,929
I thought you were going to say "no."
323
00:13:09,299 --> 00:13:10,498
I love you!
324
00:13:10,567 --> 00:13:12,066
I love you! Can you hear me?
325
00:13:12,135 --> 00:13:13,467
I love you!
326
00:13:13,536 --> 00:13:14,503
I love you!
327
00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:17,638
I'm just doing a test.
328
00:13:17,707 --> 00:13:20,041
I don't even really know
how I feel about it for sure.
329
00:13:20,109 --> 00:13:21,452
I mean, it's complicated.
330
00:13:21,482 --> 00:13:22,881
I'm Mateo!
331
00:13:23,216 --> 00:13:24,315
Okay, man.
332
00:13:24,447 --> 00:13:26,364
Okay, man. See you around!
333
00:13:29,385 --> 00:13:30,565
So hot.
334
00:13:39,696 --> 00:13:41,529
Listen, uh...
335
00:13:41,598 --> 00:13:43,497
I'm sorry I didn't know
who you were before.
336
00:13:43,566 --> 00:13:45,533
I'm not super up on pop culture.
337
00:13:45,602 --> 00:13:47,368
Don't worry about it.
338
00:13:47,437 --> 00:13:49,337
Look at us.
339
00:13:49,405 --> 00:13:51,339
An hour ago, I had no idea who you were,
340
00:13:51,407 --> 00:13:52,840
and now we're flirting.
341
00:13:54,072 --> 00:13:55,743
Well, you should probably get back
342
00:13:55,812 --> 00:13:57,578
to straightening around the registers.
343
00:13:58,815 --> 00:13:59,796
What's funny?
344
00:14:02,188 --> 00:14:03,384
You're being serious?
345
00:14:03,453 --> 00:14:06,584
I'm sorry. Am I supposed
to say "Action" or something?
346
00:14:14,263 --> 00:14:17,365
Look, I get that you're still
with Adam, and I...
347
00:14:17,433 --> 00:14:19,639
Can we please not talk about Adam?
348
00:14:20,336 --> 00:14:25,740
Hey! Are we just,
like, not friends anymore?
349
00:14:26,293 --> 00:14:28,676
Yes. Of course we're friends.
Nobody said we're not friends.
350
00:14:28,745 --> 00:14:31,812
Friends don't sit in a car for
43 minutes in complete silence.
351
00:14:31,896 --> 00:14:34,076
Friends have conversations. They talk.
352
00:14:34,077 --> 00:14:36,083
Okay, Jonah, let's talk.
353
00:14:36,152 --> 00:14:38,886
We kissed, and now everything's
awkward and loaded,
354
00:14:38,955 --> 00:14:40,321
and I don't how to be around you.
355
00:14:40,390 --> 00:14:42,640
Is that the conversation
you want to have?
356
00:14:43,238 --> 00:14:44,226
Didn't think so.
357
00:14:46,429 --> 00:14:48,137
It is my pleasure
358
00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:50,649
to welcome you to Cloud 9!
359
00:14:51,806 --> 00:14:52,933
What do you think?
360
00:14:53,002 --> 00:14:57,138
Uh, try saying "We have your
son. $1 million or he dies."
361
00:14:58,775 --> 00:15:00,087
We have your son.
362
00:15:00,194 --> 00:15:02,361
$1 million or he dies!
363
00:15:02,712 --> 00:15:03,627
That's tight.
364
00:15:04,746 --> 00:15:06,312
How's it going with the ribbon?
365
00:15:06,389 --> 00:15:07,839
Well, I'm six minutes into this video
366
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:08,870
on how to tie a fancy bow,
367
00:15:08,871 --> 00:15:10,813
and this guy's still
talking about his cat!
368
00:15:10,814 --> 00:15:12,524
It's like, "We get it. You're gay."
369
00:15:12,548 --> 00:15:15,169
And these are the biggest
scissors I could find.
370
00:15:15,170 --> 00:15:17,079
We can't cut a giant ribbon with these!
371
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,590
Okay, we'll be ready in about an hour.
372
00:15:18,591 --> 00:15:19,589
An hour?
373
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,260
The opening is now.
374
00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:23,497
Ooh, then you're going to
need to stall big-time.
375
00:15:23,566 --> 00:15:24,832
Hey, guys.
376
00:15:25,582 --> 00:15:27,635
Everybody excited for the big day?
377
00:15:27,704 --> 00:15:29,064
How's it looking inside?
378
00:15:30,239 --> 00:15:31,372
Different.
379
00:15:31,441 --> 00:15:32,390
No, no, no.
380
00:15:32,391 --> 00:15:34,522
I want to show you something over here.
381
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:35,834
- Over here?
- Yeah.
382
00:15:35,910 --> 00:15:36,615
Okay.
383
00:15:37,815 --> 00:15:39,293
- Right here?
- Yeah.
384
00:15:40,283 --> 00:15:42,706
Beautiful rug. Good for him.
385
00:15:47,725 --> 00:15:50,880
It's my great pleasure
to welcome you to Cloud 9.
386
00:15:57,769 --> 00:15:59,635
Thank you, Glenn. That was beautiful.
387
00:15:59,637 --> 00:16:02,110
Thank you very much.
Um, okay, hey, listen.
388
00:16:02,368 --> 00:16:04,140
Let's cut that ribbon and check it out!
389
00:16:09,014 --> 00:16:13,416
But first, the comedic
stylings of Mr. Howie Mandel!
390
00:16:15,153 --> 00:16:18,021
Uh...
391
00:16:18,023 --> 00:16:21,491
This, uh, event was set up
by my, uh, appearance agent,
392
00:16:21,493 --> 00:16:23,726
not my, uh, performance agent.
393
00:16:23,728 --> 00:16:27,230
Performing is a whole...
different negotiation,
394
00:16:27,232 --> 00:16:28,398
so, uh...
395
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,472
Thank you, everybody.
396
00:16:36,007 --> 00:16:38,875
Then I guess... I guess
I'll keep talking.
397
00:16:40,311 --> 00:16:43,713
6:31. 6:30. 6:29.
398
00:16:43,715 --> 00:16:44,859
How is this helping?
399
00:16:44,860 --> 00:16:47,621
How is you asking "how
it's helping" helping?
400
00:16:48,386 --> 00:16:50,411
6:22. 6:21.
401
00:16:54,092 --> 00:16:55,892
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Ow. Ooh!
402
00:16:55,894 --> 00:16:57,693
- You're gonna break the Minion.
- Don't break the Minion.
403
00:16:57,695 --> 00:17:01,197
When you get to hour two, minute twelve,
404
00:17:01,199 --> 00:17:03,633
of "Pirates of the Caribbean,"
405
00:17:03,635 --> 00:17:06,757
you can see one of the
pirates is wearing a watch.
406
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,640
That's a... that's a goof.
407
00:17:14,712 --> 00:17:16,446
I can't hear you!
408
00:17:16,448 --> 00:17:18,581
- Here you go. You stand still!
- Ow!
409
00:17:22,687 --> 00:17:24,821
- This is the wrong arm.
- Just go.
410
00:17:24,823 --> 00:17:28,925
Can... can you tell
other people's jokes?
411
00:17:28,927 --> 00:17:29,561
No.
412
00:17:31,296 --> 00:17:32,466
Can I?
413
00:17:33,998 --> 00:17:35,352
I... I guess.
414
00:17:38,103 --> 00:17:39,535
I don't know any.
415
00:17:43,408 --> 00:17:44,807
Ah! I'm gonna fall.
416
00:17:44,809 --> 00:17:46,709
Oh, oh, okay.
417
00:17:57,288 --> 00:17:59,889
Get thirsty, amigos.
418
00:18:01,259 --> 00:18:02,859
Welcome back, shoppers.
419
00:18:02,861 --> 00:18:04,427
I'm sure you're all very excited
420
00:18:04,429 --> 00:18:05,862
that we've reopened.
421
00:18:05,864 --> 00:18:07,864
Or more likely, you don't care at all,
422
00:18:07,866 --> 00:18:09,966
'cause it's just a store.
423
00:18:11,469 --> 00:18:15,738
Badabadbadaba.
424
00:18:15,740 --> 00:18:17,892
"Badabadabadaba?" What... Really?
425
00:18:17,893 --> 00:18:20,843
I've never seen the movie.
I thought they spoke gibberish.
426
00:18:20,845 --> 00:18:23,179
They speak a blend of pidgin languages
427
00:18:23,181 --> 00:18:24,680
mixed with gibberish, but
428
00:18:24,682 --> 00:18:27,683
"badabadbadaba," that's almost racist.
429
00:18:29,654 --> 00:18:32,622
Banana. Banana.
430
00:18:32,624 --> 00:18:34,357
Beep-boop-bop-bop-boop.
431
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:36,058
I'm getting divorced.
432
00:18:37,595 --> 00:18:39,295
Oh. Um...
433
00:18:39,297 --> 00:18:42,865
We woke up the morning
after the tornado, and realized
434
00:18:42,867 --> 00:18:45,668
just because we were happy
to see each other alive,
435
00:18:45,670 --> 00:18:48,538
didn't mean that we should stay married.
436
00:18:48,540 --> 00:18:50,640
- Wow.
- Yeah.
437
00:18:50,642 --> 00:18:54,043
Well, I'm... I'm here, you know,
438
00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:56,412
if you ever want to talk, or...
439
00:18:56,414 --> 00:18:58,623
Do you want to have sex?
440
00:19:02,954 --> 00:19:04,187
Uh...
441
00:19:04,189 --> 00:19:06,656
- I'm joking!
- Yeah, obviously,
442
00:19:06,658 --> 00:19:09,158
you're joking. I knew you were...
I'm not...
443
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:12,061
- Are you blushing?
- Big-time, yeah.
444
00:19:14,165 --> 00:19:16,165
Jeff.
445
00:19:16,167 --> 00:19:18,234
Mateo. Hey.
446
00:19:18,634 --> 00:19:19,837
How you been?
447
00:19:19,938 --> 00:19:22,071
Good, thanks. Yeah, I'm in a good place.
448
00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:24,740
You know, I've been hitting
the gym pretty hard.
449
00:19:24,742 --> 00:19:26,111
Doing a lot of Zuh-MBA.
450
00:19:26,844 --> 00:19:29,011
Um, I just need to ask you something.
451
00:19:29,013 --> 00:19:31,080
Did you get a voice mail, by chance?
452
00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:34,383
Oh, sorry, one second.
Uh, ooh, I have to take this.
453
00:19:34,385 --> 00:19:35,281
It's Chad.
454
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,753
- Your ex, Chad?
- Yes.
455
00:19:37,755 --> 00:19:41,057
We got back together. Hey, sweetie.
456
00:19:41,059 --> 00:19:44,927
Mm, just real quick.
It's pronounced Zumba, okay?
457
00:19:44,929 --> 00:19:47,396
And your toupee, it's garbage.
458
00:19:47,398 --> 00:19:49,065
You look like a fry cook.
459
00:20:04,682 --> 00:20:07,550
Okay, well, this is going to be fun.
460
00:20:07,552 --> 00:20:10,152
Now, do you want to room
with Timur or Jacob?
461
00:20:10,154 --> 00:20:13,122
Timur's a sweetheart,
but he does have night terrors.
462
00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:16,225
On the other hand,
Jacob is really quiet,
463
00:20:16,227 --> 00:20:18,127
but in a scary way.
464
00:20:18,129 --> 00:20:21,130
Sometimes you wake up and he's
just standing over you.
465
00:20:21,132 --> 00:20:22,870
All right. You can stay with me.
466
00:20:24,158 --> 00:20:26,435
Really? Are you... are you sure?
467
00:20:26,437 --> 00:20:28,571
No, I'm definitely not sure,
468
00:20:28,573 --> 00:20:29,805
but whatever.
469
00:20:30,860 --> 00:20:32,873
Oh, okay.
470
00:20:34,336 --> 00:20:36,145
Well, if anything changes,
471
00:20:36,147 --> 00:20:40,016
the men's bathroom key also
works on my front door. So...
472
00:20:41,586 --> 00:20:43,919
- Okay, roomie. Oh.
- House rules.
473
00:20:43,921 --> 00:20:45,755
Do not touch my video game stuff.
474
00:20:45,757 --> 00:20:47,823
No talking during "Game of Thrones."
475
00:20:47,825 --> 00:20:49,113
No cooking fish.
476
00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:50,975
And leave me out of your
coffee-making process.
477
00:20:50,976 --> 00:20:53,763
I'll have to, because
it's a French single press.
478
00:20:53,765 --> 00:20:55,331
I do not like fragrant soaps,
479
00:20:55,333 --> 00:20:57,333
on Wednesday, my black
friends come over,
480
00:20:57,335 --> 00:20:59,101
so do not be around.
481
00:20:59,103 --> 00:21:01,470
What else? Parking spots.
482
00:21:01,471 --> 00:21:03,004
You don't get one.
483
00:21:03,286 --> 00:21:06,774
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com