[GHOSTLY VOCALIZING] [MUSIC]
[RAP BEAT PLAYING]
[HARD ROCK PLAYING]
[SCREAMING]
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~
[BATS SQUEAKING] [MUSIC]
[FINGERS TAPPING]
Wow, slow day huh?
[CRASHING]
Seems like we need to drum up more business, hmm?
Let me guess. You have another fang-tastic idea.
Well since you asked. Parties. [CLUCKING]
We make Hotel Transylvania the go-to place
for after-funerals, anniver-scaries.
We create buzz... [FLIES BUZZING]
The good kind, not the swarm-of-locusts kind.
- Absolutely not. I detest parties. - Come on, how about this?
Let me throw a sample party, to prove I can do it. Huh?
[SIGHS] It would have to be simple.
A group of monsters sitting around, waiting for death,
you know, a party.
Of course, entertainment, maybe a cake,
definitely a cake. But that's it.
And someone's birthday is coming up,
someone who's totally unimportant in every conceivable way.
Diane?
[CLUCKING]
It would get her off my back. But entertainment?
I've found classy options for every occasion, even the boring ones.
AUNT LYDIA: Octavio the Awesome?
Is he still doing the tedious old magic act?
Yes! And he's totally available, surprisingly so.
I did my research.
Well then, throw your test party, with Octavio.
If you fail, you can scrape the fungus off Bigfoot's toes
for the next year!
[RETCHING]
[GRUNTING]
How do you do always come up with the worst punishment?
It's a gift. But it's not one of your disgusting party gifts.
Right this way, front row seats for the Beak of Honor.
[CLUCKING] So excited, boss!
[CHATTERING]
Festive decorations, Mavis.
Yeah, they really make me look forward to my funeral.
Exactly! Enjoy the show!
I highly doubt it.
[APPLAUSE] [LAUGHS] Thank you!
I'm your host, Pedro.
And this is "Diane: A Night of Celebration."
How's everyone doing? Anyone here from the grave?
[GROWLING]
The warm-up acts are ready to go.
And Octavio the Awesome should arrive any second now.
It's going so well. I can practically taste the cake.
Quasi's whipping the scream cheese frosting as we speak.
[SCREAMING]
Looks at him. And he says
"Sir, that's no sarcophagus. That's the toilet!"
[ALL LAUGHING]
Wonderful!
[TICKING]
Being a doctor is tough.
Last week, patient comes in with a cough.
So, I run some tests.
Now I've got to schlep all the way to his swamp
to tell him he's got six months to live.
There go my dinner plans!
[GARY COUGHING]
Gary? I was just talking about you!
What? I have six months to live?
Nah, I didn't want my act to be a downer.
You have two months to live!
[ALL LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING CONTINUES]
Is there anything funnier than a monster's impending doom?
Aww, look at Aunt Lydia.
We are going to host so many parties.
I think someone's in line for a promotion.
That's my time! Good night!
And good luck, Gary. [APPLAUSE]
Wait a sec. Where's that Octavio? If he doesn't show...
Mavis! Octavio the Awesomely Late is here!
Yes! Better late than severed!
[MUSIC]
Octavio, welcome! At last! [GASPS]
- Sorry, I had trouble with the map. - Well you're here now.
And everyone is so, so eager to see your act!
Great! I'll open with the old ear-behind-the-ear trick.
Whoops! Sorry, I get clumsy when I'm nervous.
And I'm always nervous.
And I'm starting to get why my Aunt Lydia insisted I book you.
"Thanks, Lydia."
Lydia Dracula? Oh, she hated my act so much,
she wrote a blood letter to Entertainment Shriekly.
"Octavio the Awful", she said.
I can't go in there. I won't! You can't make me!
Wait! No! [GROANS]
Now what? I told everyone we'd have a magician.
And maybe we still do.
Time for some magic wagic! Uh, forget I said that.
Magic for Beginners, chapter one.
Show time! [GASPS] Good luck, Mavis!
[CHUCKLING] Okay, is this a great party or what? Whoo-hoo!
[GRUNTING]
Where is Octavio the Awesome?
Uh, a magician never reveals his secrets.
Maybe he's already here. Can you feel it in the air?
You mean your impending failure?
No, I'm talking about magic time!
[FINGERS TAPPING]
[GULPS] Oh, it's hot up here. I'll just, uh...
[BARKING]
Oh, uh, ta-da!
[SCREAMING]
[CHEERING]
Thank you. Thank you.
For my next trick, I need a volunteer.
- [CLUCKING] Me! - All right, let's hear it for Diane!
[ALL CHEERING]
I am going to make our Beak of Honor disappear!
[ALL EXCLAIM]
[CLUCKING]
Okay, slippity sloppy, hoppity hey,
disappear now! Go away!
[LAUGHING]
- Mildly impressive. - Ha! It worked!
Uh... I mean, now to make her reappear.
Swirly, curly, the other way,
return to us right now. Okay?
[MAVIS CLEARING THROAT]
Nosfarutu, nosferack, come on home now! Hurry back!
Holy rabies.
And now for a totally planned magician's intermission.
In my absence, please enjoy Hank and his famous impressions!
[APPLAUSE] [CLEARING THROAT]
Welcome to my hotel!
It's Dracula! He's doing my dopey brother!
Blah, blah, blah!
[LAUGHING]
- I made Diane disappear! - We know. Awesome!
No, I really made her disappear!
I have to get her back before Quasi brings out the cake
or I'm going to be waist-deep in fungal toe jam!
It won't come off!
[RETCHING]
- Ew. - Yum.
- What did you do exactly? - I just waved the wand, like this.
[GASPS] No! Where'd they all go?
Hello?
[SING-SONGY] Hello?
- What is this place? - It's not so bad,
- once you get used to all the running. - Sorry, "Running"?
[LOUD THUMPING] [DIANE CLUCKING]
[CLUCKING] WENDY: Ah!
[DIANE CLUCKING] [BOTH SCREAMING]
Oh, my gosh, you guys, holy rabies!
[LAUGHING] That is Mavis to a "T"!
And then there's Lydia...
[GROWLS]
Uh, who is super terrifying and scary. And let's leave it at that.
That's pretty on point, actually.
[GROANING] [GROWLING]
Quasi is nearly finished the cake? [GROANS]
First time I've ever dreaded dessert!
I got to find Octavio. But how?
Take me to your owner! Go to your magician!
Returnio Octavio?
Aah!
[SOBBING]
[GRUNTING]
Octavio, thank darkness! I need your help!
Your wand made my friends disappear, and Diane!
- Help you? You took my wand! - You dropped it!
- I need my wand back! - I need my friends back, and Diane!
- You want your wand? Come and get it! - Whoa!
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Where am I?
Wendy? Pedro?
BOTH: Mavis! Run!
[CLUCKING] [GASPS]
[CLUCKING]
[GRUNTING]
- Give me back my wand! - First, tell me how we get out!
- Fine, just reverse the swirl! - I tried that!
[STAMMERS] W-What? B-B-But it's the only fix I know!
Oh, your aunt's right. I'm awful.
[SOBBING]
No, come on, don't. I just hope she hasn't caught on yet.
[ALL LAUGHING]
We're dying over here!
MAVIS: There's got to be a false bottom in this cauldron.
The false bottom would work, except you moved the cauldron.
- That locks it up! - [GASPS] But how do we move it back?
[GRUNTING]
MAVIS: Run!
[ALL SCREAMING]
[DIANE CLUCKING]
Wendy's Dad, Mr. Blob, explaining the Big Bang.
[BABBLING]
[IMITATES EXPLOSION]
[LAUGHING]
Stop! Stop!
My mouth isn't used to this upturned shape!
[LAUGHING] Bring back Diane already.
[ALL GRUNTING]
[GROANS] [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
Ta-da!
[LAUGHING]
[CHEERING]
[SING-SONGY] Just like I planned it!
Oh, Diane, I was so worried...
[CLUCKING]
Is what someone who cared might say.
[CLUCKING]
Mavis, I must admit you even made that hack look good.
- Aw, thank you! - You... You think I'm a hack?
- Whoo-hoo! - I want a new magic show every week!
Yeah-ha-ha!
[CLUCKING]
[ALL SCREAMING] You're killing me!
[LAUGHING]
[BATS SQUEAKING] [MUSIC]
[WOLF HOWLING]
Beating artichoke hearts, yes... [HEARTS BEATING]
Gargoyled eggs... [EGGS SQUEALING]
Chocolate-covered eyeballs.
HANK: I got eyeballs on the chocolate-covered eyeballs.
[GRUNTING]
[GASPING]
What is this?!
Garlic seeds? [GASPING] How could you mess this up again?
If we're caught, Lydia will skin us alive, and then dead!
[GROWLING]
Oh, sure, no big deal for you, but for me, it's...
AUNT LYDIA: Quasimodo, where is my breakfast?
[SHRIEKS]
Okay, you wait for me in the spice torture rack.
Saperlipopette!
Did he say "Garlic seeds"?
The garlic patch said "Come play with us."
And the little vampire was tempted.
She disobeyed the shrunken heads, who said "Girl, don't go there."
She even ignored her papa, who said "Under no circumstances,
are you to look at, touch or think about garlic."
[GASPS] I said "don't touch!"
- What happened next to the vampire? - Next?
Um, terrible, horrible, oh, unspeakable things.
I can't even talk about them, they're so bad.
Now, scary dreams, my little pus dumpling!
Wow. I've never even seen garlic before.
I got to get a closer look!
- No! - Stop!
- Mavis! - You can't go near garlic!
So they say. But what really happens?
I bet it's all a myth, perpetuated by the garlic farmers.
You know how those weirdos can be.
- Nope. - Not really.
That's literally just your thing, dude.
But just in case it's not a myth,
I nominate Pedro to get the bag.
[SCOFFS] Ain't no thing for a non-vamp.
Ah!
[LAUGHING]
You should see your faces, all eyes bugging, mean mugging.
Come on, y'all got to... Ah!
Ah!
- [GASPING] I can't breathe. - Because you're not breathing.
- Oh. [SIGHING] - Don't worry.
Garlic doesn't do anything to non-vampires.
Oh, and I'm pretty sure we just proved
garlic seeds don't do anything to vampires either.
Look at me.
[HUMMING]
So, maybe garlic just makes them dance horribly?
'Kay, we better put this back before Quasi finds out we were in here.
On it!
[SLURPING] [MUSIC]
[GRUNTING]
And that's the end of that!
What's that?
[GROWLING] [SNIFFING]
It couldn't be. It wouldn't dare.
[SCREAMING]
It is! You! Pick the sprout!
[GROWLING]
[STAMMERS] Garlic!
[SCREAMING]
[SOBBING]
"Hotel Transylvania is to remain closed
"while under garlic decontamination"?
"Closed"? What if we didn't clean up all those seeds?
If my Dad finds out I single-handedly shut down
the hotel, he'll never let me be in charge.
Man, you'll be lucky to be assistant to
- the Chief Yeti Tongue Scraper. - Hey, job's already taken.
Well, I, for un, am relieved the hotel is closed. Huh?
'Cause we all know what happens to vampires
- exposed to garlic, right? - You know, Aunt Lydia,
maybe nothing happens to vampires?
I've heard the seeds don't do anything.
Well, of course, the seeds don't. [SIGHING]
- But once they're full grown... - [STAMMERS] What?
Horrible, unspeakable things!
Think of the worst thing ever and multiply it by terrible.
Then you're close.
Dying of hunger while being scrubbed clean in a bath?
Even worse.
But it's not as bad as what's going to happen to the traitor
who brought garlic into my hotel!
[GASPING]
H-How will you ever discover who did it, huh?
It seems impossible. [FORCED LAUGHTER]
The Cerberus is on the case.
[GROWLING]
It'll sniff out the garlic source, which'll have the culprit's scent.
So, if the hotel's on lock down,
where are we supposed to sleep?
[ENGINE STARTING] Look!
[TIRES SCREECHING]
Looks like they'll be gone for weeks.
Who's ready for a Dracula sleepover party?
[GROWLING]
[MUSIC]
[HOWLING MEOW]
Huh?
[SCREAMING]
[SNORING]
[ALL SNORING]
AUNT LYDIA: Off with their heads!
[CONTINUES SNORING]
[SIGHS]
[GASPS] [SNORING]
[WHIMPERING]
Wendy? Hey, Wendy? Wake up.
Fire mouth! [BOWL CLATTERS]
- Morning! - I need help.
I got to sneak back and grab that bag of seeds
before anyone finds my prints on it and I'm sunk.
Imagine, the daughter of Count Dracula, caught with garlic.
- Now who's with me? - Uh... We'll guard the tub. [SNORES]
I think it's time for a homemade hazmat makeover!
WENDY: Sweet. Protects against garlic attack.
[SNIFFS] [YELLS] I can't smell or hear anything!
- Shh! - Mavis did it!
[INSECTS CHIRPING]
I tip, zen I toe.
I tip. I toe. I tip. I toe. I tip, toe.
[GROWLING]
Tip toe, tip toe, tip toe, tip toe.
Ze key is to not wear any socks.
[YELLS] The kitchen? Good idea!
Evidence? What evidence, Lydia?
[LAUGHING]
Bravo, me.
[GROWLING]
[WHISPERING] How do we get past the Cerberus?
[LOUDLY] What? The Cerberus!
[GROWLING]
Run!
[GROWLING] [MUSIC]
[GRUNTING]
WENDY: And stay out!
[GRUNTS] That's better. I can hear now.
[GASPS] It's gone!
Look! Sock-less tippy-toe footprints!
MAVIS: The incinerator!
Ah! They're still there!
Say, Wendy, how are you with heat?
Almost, almost.
[GRUNTING] Hey, my gum!
[SCREAMING]
[GRUNTING] [CLATTERING]
Quasi! What are you doing here?
Oh, hello. Uh, visiting the hall of mirrors,
you know, no crowds for the decontamination, so...
What are you... Zut alors! Ze garlic seeds!
[GASPS] Wendy! You still have them?
[LOUD STOMPING] Uh-oh! Run!
You're getting good at saying that.
[GRUNTING]
Your helmet's off! You're exposed!
[GASPING]
The garlic smell, it's real! It burns! Make it stop!
[SNIFFS] Can't smell garlic, thanks, Wendy!
[GROWLING]
[ALL SCREAMING]
[GROWLING]
MAVIS: Wendy, get rid of the garlic!
Okay, bye-bye, seeds!
[FINGERS TAPPING]
- Ahem. - I, uh, what?
Oh, wow, where am I? Sleepwalking, am I right?
- [SNIFFING] Do I smell garlic? - Uh, no.
Besides, I exposed myself. And nothing happened.
It just burns your nostrils a bit, big whoop.
- I don't believe it. - Well, if I had garlic, I could prove it.
Oh, you mean like this?
[ALL SCREAMING]
Wendy, why would you keep that?
Um, hello? It's a keepsake from our adventure!
Okay, fine, I'll prove it.
[GASPING]
[CHUCKLING] See? Just a bunch of rubbish.
[SCREAMING]
It's in my mouth! Is it in my mouth? It's in my mouth!
[SCREAMING]
UNCLE GENE: What's happening?
Nothing. [CHUCKLES] Nothing is happening.
Maybe when it's second-hand...
[SCREAMING]
[GROWLING]
Ooh!
[SNEEZING]
[BEEPING]
[CREATURES CLAMORING]
[SCREAMING]
[WHIMPERS]
[COUGHING]
Several fiery months later...
When you think about it, it's almost funny
we all ended up quarantined to the Cerberus pit.
Yes. "It's hilarious."
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~
[VOCALIZING]