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00:00:01,017 --> 00:00:04,554
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:04,588 --> 00:00:07,891
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:11,561
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,595 --> 00:00:14,864
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,898 --> 00:00:17,867
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:17,901 --> 00:00:21,571
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,107
♪ All the things that make us ♪
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00:00:23,140 --> 00:00:24,508
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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00:00:24,541 --> 00:00:30,147
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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00:00:35,085 --> 00:00:38,122
Thanks for driving me to the
library for story time, Brian.
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00:00:38,155 --> 00:00:40,290
Today we're reading
The Very Hungry Caterpillar
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00:00:40,324 --> 00:00:41,925
vs. The Human Centipede.
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00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:43,760
I heard it's like
Alien vs. Predator.
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00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:45,462
with a little bit more
butt eating.
15
00:00:45,495 --> 00:00:47,864
That does sound fun,
but what if I took you
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to a different library today?
What?
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00:00:50,167 --> 00:00:52,969
But I like my library.
I met Curious George there.
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Mom said he was a puppet,
but she's stupid.
19
00:00:54,938 --> 00:00:56,806
I'm just saying we should
go to the library
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at Quahog University
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and take your education
to a higher level.
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I guess I can try it.
I mean, I do want to get ahead.
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00:01:03,079 --> 00:01:06,816
I don't want to end up like Meg,
doing sad one-woman shows.
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00:01:06,850 --> 00:01:10,720
♪ Oh, I love trash ♪
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♪ Anything dirty
or dingy or dusty ♪
26
00:01:14,958 --> 00:01:19,129
♪ Anything ragged or rotten
or rusty ♪
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♪ Yes, I love trash... ♪
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Whose fault is this?
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00:01:25,135 --> 00:01:26,936
You're wearing a
garbage bag as a cape.
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Who do you think?
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Him? Shh. She's
crushing it!
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Oh, yeah.
That's good library.
33
00:01:41,451 --> 00:01:44,688
Aw, you didn't come here for me;
you came to be a creep.
34
00:01:44,721 --> 00:01:46,156
Whatever.
You go do your thing.
35
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:48,692
I'm gonna go watch that young
hotshot attorney over there
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00:01:48,725 --> 00:01:50,960
who's clearly in the middle
of a movie montage.
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Oh! He found it.
He's gonna win the case.
38
00:02:07,977 --> 00:02:10,214
Oh, no. It was a '70s movie.
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00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:22,892
- So, who you reading?
- George Eliot.
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Ah, Georgie.
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00:02:24,328 --> 00:02:25,562
I'm a big fan.
42
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- I think he, uh...
- She.
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00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:29,233
...she said it best
when she said...
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00:02:29,266 --> 00:02:31,968
"Bantam Press, 1851."
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00:02:33,437 --> 00:02:35,171
- Lumineers?
- What?
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00:02:35,205 --> 00:02:38,007
Hmm? You just said
"Lumineers" with no context.
47
00:02:38,041 --> 00:02:40,143
Did I do that?
48
00:02:40,176 --> 00:02:41,511
Ugh!
49
00:02:42,679 --> 00:02:44,248
Tumblr?
50
00:02:46,850 --> 00:02:50,654
Wow, I've never seen someone go
oh for six in 15 minutes before.
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00:02:50,687 --> 00:02:54,190
Just hard rejection
after hard rejection.
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00:02:56,226 --> 00:02:58,562
What's going on over there?
Looks like a student rally.
53
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,430
They probably forgot
to study for an exam,
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so they organized
a protest.
55
00:03:02,131 --> 00:03:04,000
In the '90s, you'd
just pull a fire alarm...
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00:03:04,033 --> 00:03:05,335
now you hold a protest.
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00:03:05,369 --> 00:03:08,372
That is, when they're not
looking down at their phones.
58
00:03:11,975 --> 00:03:13,677
Hey, what's going on?
59
00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:15,745
Someone wrote "weird" on
the transgender bathroom,
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00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,747
and the school president
didn't overreact,
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so we want him fired!
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00:03:19,316 --> 00:03:20,617
Seems reasonable.
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Exactly!
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00:03:21,718 --> 00:03:23,186
Oh, I see
news cameras.
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I'm gonna yell "Viva la Stool"
like a young, white drunkard.
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00:03:27,724 --> 00:03:30,260
And last week, a professor told
his class to have a nice day,
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which is microaggression,
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00:03:31,395 --> 00:03:32,896
because in our
systemic rape culture
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00:03:32,929 --> 00:03:34,764
no day is a nice day.
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So we want him fired, too.
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00:03:36,333 --> 00:03:38,468
Hey,
if you don't want to get fired,
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00:03:38,502 --> 00:03:40,236
don't become a teacher, right?
Totally.
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00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:42,639
You should tweet that.
#FireEveryone.
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00:03:42,672 --> 00:03:44,073
Viva la Stool!
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00:03:44,107 --> 00:03:46,976
Well, I guess I could
fire up my account again.
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00:03:47,010 --> 00:03:48,378
All right, open app.
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Got a bunch of those.
No biggie.
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Typing tweet.
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Blast off in three,
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00:03:53,082 --> 00:03:54,618
two, one,
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00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,386
and tweeted.
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00:03:56,420 --> 00:03:58,955
I am back in the game. See?
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00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,557
Oop, you're gone.
84
00:04:00,590 --> 00:04:02,258
And the crowd is gone.
85
00:04:02,292 --> 00:04:04,594
And the animators are gone.
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00:04:08,632 --> 00:04:10,934
Hey, Stewie, what do you
think about this tweet?
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00:04:10,967 --> 00:04:12,402
Oh, don't be that guy.
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00:04:12,436 --> 00:04:14,404
"Kelly Ripa
no-shows at work."
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00:04:14,438 --> 00:04:17,073
Who does she think she is,
a Republican senator?
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00:04:17,106 --> 00:04:19,576
#G-O-P-U.
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00:04:19,609 --> 00:04:21,911
Three references in one
tweet. I'm sweating.
92
00:04:21,945 --> 00:04:24,080
I'll just add it
to my notes for later.
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00:04:24,113 --> 00:04:25,749
Why are you
getting into Twitter now?
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00:04:25,782 --> 00:04:28,618
Unless you're an athlete
or a celebrity, no one cares.
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00:04:28,652 --> 00:04:30,420
A lot of people
like my stuff.
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00:04:30,454 --> 00:04:32,922
Oh, yeah? Someone needs
to tell Donald Trump
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00:04:32,956 --> 00:04:34,358
it's not fashionable
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00:04:34,391 --> 00:04:36,326
to wear orange on your
face after Labor Day.
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00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,994
#OompaTrumpa.
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00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,929
Zero retweets.
Zero likes.
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00:04:39,963 --> 00:04:41,665
Yeah, viral.
You know, I don't care.
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00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,700
You can't stop me.
Just like people
103
00:04:43,733 --> 00:04:45,935
can't stop Peter
from ordering shepherd's pie.
104
00:04:45,969 --> 00:04:47,771
And what can I get
for you, sir?
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00:04:47,804 --> 00:04:49,005
I'll have the
shepherd's pie.
106
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:50,940
I'm sorry, but that's
not on the menu.
107
00:04:50,974 --> 00:04:52,609
Well, do you have potatoes?
Yes.
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00:04:52,642 --> 00:04:53,677
Butter?
Yes.
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00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:54,778
Cream?
Yes.
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00:04:54,811 --> 00:04:55,779
Salt?
Yes.
111
00:04:55,812 --> 00:04:56,780
Pepper?
Yes.
112
00:04:56,813 --> 00:04:57,781
Garlic?
Yes.
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00:04:57,814 --> 00:04:58,848
Onions?
Yes.
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00:04:58,882 --> 00:04:59,949
Lamb?
Yes.
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00:04:59,983 --> 00:05:01,050
Carrots?
Yes.
116
00:05:01,084 --> 00:05:02,118
Eggs?
Yes.
117
00:05:02,151 --> 00:05:03,186
Flour?
Yes.
118
00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:04,287
Rosemary?
Yes.
119
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,321
Thyme?
Yes.
120
00:05:05,355 --> 00:05:06,390
Chicken broth?
Yes.
121
00:05:06,423 --> 00:05:07,457
Corn?
Yes.
122
00:05:07,491 --> 00:05:08,525
Peas?
Yes.
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00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:10,794
Lightsaber?
124
00:05:10,827 --> 00:05:13,763
Remember when we did Star Wars?
125
00:05:18,602 --> 00:05:22,572
Better get a tweet out before
I go dark for a few hours.
126
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About to see
the new Kevin Hart movie.
127
00:05:26,443 --> 00:05:29,212
Just kidding.
I'm white and went to college.
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00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:31,515
#BaywatchMovie.
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00:05:52,536 --> 00:05:56,005
♪ Some people stand
in the darkness ♪
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00:05:56,039 --> 00:06:00,444
♪ Afraid to step
into the light ♪
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00:06:00,477 --> 00:06:04,280
♪ Some people need
to have somebody ♪
132
00:06:04,313 --> 00:06:07,551
♪ When the edge
of surrender's in sight ♪
133
00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:10,687
♪ Don't you worry ♪
134
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,222
♪ It's gonna be all right ♪
135
00:06:16,092 --> 00:06:18,194
♪ 'Cause I'm always ready ♪
136
00:06:18,227 --> 00:06:21,297
♪ I won't let you
out of my sight. ♪
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Wow, I haven't seen
that much camel toe
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since the Arab Spring.
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00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:38,381
#ThinkingInTweets.
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00:06:40,183 --> 00:06:41,585
Nah.
141
00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:44,220
Hey, are you @dogbackwards
from Twitter?
142
00:06:44,253 --> 00:06:45,955
I am. Are-are you a fan?
143
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:47,123
You racist jerk!
144
00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:49,759
I hope you get
foot-and-mouth disease!
145
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What the hell was that?
146
00:06:52,762 --> 00:06:54,664
Uh-oh.
147
00:06:58,602 --> 00:07:00,904
Wow, you are blowing up!
148
00:07:00,937 --> 00:07:02,472
Blowing up bad.
149
00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:04,974
Ah, look at that... Huffington
Post just picked it up.
150
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,175
Buckle up, buddy.
151
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:13,149
- There he is!
- Where? I'm in the back.
152
00:07:22,125 --> 00:07:25,094
Hey, how was Baywatch?
I want to see that bad.
153
00:07:25,128 --> 00:07:26,806
What were you thinking,
writing that tweet?
154
00:07:26,830 --> 00:07:28,297
What? It was just a joke.
155
00:07:28,331 --> 00:07:31,100
Brian, it's not 2005...
you can't just go online
156
00:07:31,134 --> 00:07:32,702
and say whatever
you want.
157
00:07:32,736 --> 00:07:35,104
Yeah, remember how mad
people got when DiGiorno tweeted
158
00:07:35,138 --> 00:07:36,673
about domestic violence?
159
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,875
And they're not even a guy.
They're pizza.
160
00:07:38,908 --> 00:07:40,844
All right, all right,
I'll delete the tweet.
161
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:42,546
You haven't
deleted it yet?
162
00:07:42,579 --> 00:07:44,648
What a train wreck!
163
00:07:46,983 --> 00:07:47,984
There. Done. Done.
164
00:07:48,017 --> 00:07:49,452
See? It's done. It's gone.
165
00:07:49,485 --> 00:07:51,454
What about all those
people outside?
166
00:07:51,487 --> 00:07:52,889
They'll see that I deleted it,
167
00:07:52,922 --> 00:07:54,323
and it'll all blow over.
Trust me.
168
00:07:54,357 --> 00:07:56,025
I hope so, but
you never know.
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00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:59,462
They're still pretty mad at me
down at Dick's Sporting Goods.
170
00:07:59,495 --> 00:08:01,230
Um, what's the name
of this place?
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00:08:01,264 --> 00:08:02,632
Dick's.
172
00:08:02,666 --> 00:08:04,968
A-And what's that say
on your shirt?
173
00:08:05,001 --> 00:08:06,836
Dick's.
174
00:08:06,870 --> 00:08:09,472
Can I have two balls...
and a helmet?
175
00:08:09,505 --> 00:08:11,541
Hey, you're the guy
from the phone.
176
00:08:12,676 --> 00:08:14,143
Start the car, Chris!
177
00:08:14,177 --> 00:08:16,746
Did you get him, Dad?
We got him!
178
00:08:20,784 --> 00:08:22,752
Hey, Sid.
Happy Mango Monday.
179
00:08:22,786 --> 00:08:24,053
Hmm.
180
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:26,556
Hmm. Those nighttime
information technology classes
181
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,725
must really be getting to Sid.
182
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:29,826
Hey, Curt.
183
00:08:29,859 --> 00:08:30,827
Hmm.
184
00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:32,662
Curt? Come on, it's me,
185
00:08:32,696 --> 00:08:34,497
Lunchtime Lois.
186
00:08:34,530 --> 00:08:36,032
Gil, help me out here.
187
00:08:36,065 --> 00:08:37,333
Hmm!
188
00:08:37,366 --> 00:08:40,103
Gil, no! Uh, what about Barbara?
Is she back there?
189
00:08:40,136 --> 00:08:41,605
She can clear this up.
190
00:08:41,638 --> 00:08:43,106
Let me talk to Barbara.
191
00:08:43,139 --> 00:08:45,074
She doesn't want
to talk to you, either.
192
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,342
Nobody does...
193
00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:48,344
not as long as you're
living with that racist dog.
194
00:08:48,377 --> 00:08:49,512
Oh, come on!
195
00:08:49,545 --> 00:08:51,180
It was just a bad joke.
196
00:08:51,214 --> 00:08:52,415
Where's Stanley?
197
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:54,618
He'll vouch for me.
Let me talk to Stanley.
198
00:08:54,651 --> 00:08:57,353
Or Henry. Somebody
help me out here.
199
00:08:57,386 --> 00:08:59,022
- Chip?
- Hmm!
200
00:08:59,055 --> 00:09:00,624
- Karen?
- Hmm!
201
00:09:00,657 --> 00:09:02,125
- JJ?
- Hmm.
202
00:09:02,158 --> 00:09:03,793
- Angela?
- Hmm.
203
00:09:03,827 --> 00:09:05,028
- Tito?
- Hmm!
204
00:09:05,061 --> 00:09:06,863
- Larry?
- Hmm!
205
00:09:06,896 --> 00:09:08,765
You can't freeze me out
like this.
206
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,734
We're on a first-name basis!
207
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:12,736
They're on our
name tags, Lois.
208
00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:15,371
But I don't even have to look!
209
00:09:15,404 --> 00:09:18,675
I don't even have to look!
210
00:09:23,747 --> 00:09:26,950
Hey, how come no one told me
we were going to the Clam?
211
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,417
Hey, Jerome,
give me a beer.
212
00:09:28,451 --> 00:09:30,620
Oh, why? 'Cause I'm,
like, your slave?
213
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:33,456
Man, you're no better
than your racist dog.
214
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:34,457
Come on, man.
215
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:36,392
B-Brian was
just making a joke.
216
00:09:36,425 --> 00:09:38,762
I told you about Brian.
I told you.
217
00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,764
Come on, he deleted
his tweet.
218
00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:43,566
But the hurt has been RT'd
in our hearts.
219
00:09:43,599 --> 00:09:45,234
Peter, you better
get out of here
220
00:09:45,268 --> 00:09:47,570
before I start
saying "sir" like a cop.
221
00:09:47,603 --> 00:09:49,172
Come on, Joe, I...
Sir? Sir?
222
00:09:49,205 --> 00:09:50,674
You've been asked
to leave.
223
00:09:50,707 --> 00:09:52,408
Joe, it's me, Peter.
I... Sir.
224
00:09:52,441 --> 00:09:54,577
I don't want to have
to ask you again.
225
00:09:54,610 --> 00:09:56,412
Please leave.
All right, fine.
226
00:09:56,445 --> 00:09:57,681
Sir!
No, Joe, Joe.
227
00:09:57,714 --> 00:09:58,748
He's leaving.
Sir!
228
00:09:58,782 --> 00:09:59,849
Joe, Joe...
Sir!
229
00:09:59,883 --> 00:10:00,917
He's gone.
Sir.
230
00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:02,485
- It's okay.
- Sir.
231
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:04,320
He's gone.
232
00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:14,263
Your dog wrote an
insensitive tweet.
233
00:10:14,297 --> 00:10:15,799
You can't eat here.
234
00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:17,967
Uh-oh, Meg.
It's a sensitivity mob.
235
00:10:18,001 --> 00:10:19,535
It was just a joke.
236
00:10:19,568 --> 00:10:21,637
There's no such thing
as jokes anymore.
237
00:10:21,671 --> 00:10:23,707
Yeah, we live in
a post-joke world.
238
00:10:23,740 --> 00:10:25,775
Chris, maybe we
should just eat outside.
239
00:10:25,809 --> 00:10:28,011
No, Meg,
we're eating here.
240
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,346
I'd like to
see you try.
241
00:10:46,830 --> 00:10:51,534
♪ I can't change... ♪
242
00:10:54,437 --> 00:10:57,707
♪ Lord, I can't change ♪
243
00:10:57,741 --> 00:11:01,644
♪ Won't you fly high ♪
244
00:11:01,677 --> 00:11:05,014
♪ Free bird, yeah... ♪
245
00:11:53,062 --> 00:11:57,566
It was... a joke.
246
00:12:03,572 --> 00:12:06,910
Can you put on
the Canucks game?
247
00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:08,244
No, go away.
248
00:12:08,277 --> 00:12:10,446
Loser.
249
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:12,148
This is getting
out of control.
250
00:12:12,181 --> 00:12:14,059
We can't leave the house
without getting harassed.
251
00:12:14,083 --> 00:12:16,128
Yeah, yesterday I went outside
to try to get the mail
252
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,386
and I had a seizure.
253
00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:19,388
That may not be
protester-related,
254
00:12:19,422 --> 00:12:21,724
but still, you got to
do something, Brian.
255
00:12:21,757 --> 00:12:23,059
What do you want me to do?
256
00:12:23,092 --> 00:12:24,837
I-I deleted my Twitter
account, my Instagram,
257
00:12:24,861 --> 00:12:25,995
Facebook, everything.
258
00:12:26,029 --> 00:12:27,897
People still won't
leave me alone.
259
00:12:27,931 --> 00:12:29,498
You have to apologize.
260
00:12:29,532 --> 00:12:31,234
Go outside, do it now.
261
00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:34,070
Tell them that it was a
mistake and how sorry you are
262
00:12:34,103 --> 00:12:35,447
and maybe they'll
get off our backs.
263
00:12:35,471 --> 00:12:37,106
Maybe you're right.
264
00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:39,408
I got to face them and
hope they'll forgive me.
265
00:12:42,445 --> 00:12:44,580
Hello.
266
00:12:44,613 --> 00:12:47,416
As you all know,
I'm Brian Griffin.
267
00:12:47,450 --> 00:12:48,751
Boo.
268
00:12:48,784 --> 00:12:51,320
Boo, Brian
Griffin. Boo.
269
00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:52,688
I want to read a few words...
270
00:12:52,721 --> 00:12:54,123
Boo. Liar.
271
00:12:54,157 --> 00:12:57,193
Boo, Brian Griffin, boo.
272
00:12:57,226 --> 00:12:58,461
Anyway, I-I want to...
273
00:12:58,494 --> 00:13:00,329
Boo.
Apologize somewhere else.
274
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:04,267
Boo. Boo, Brian, boo.
275
00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:07,103
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm here today to apologize...
276
00:13:07,136 --> 00:13:08,838
Why did you say
"ladies" first?
277
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:10,173
That's sexist.
278
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,041
It's just, it's just
a-a standard greeting.
279
00:13:12,075 --> 00:13:14,777
Let-let me start over.
Gentlemen and ladies...
280
00:13:14,810 --> 00:13:16,479
Ooh, says the man.
281
00:13:16,512 --> 00:13:19,548
Okay, sorry, I-I...
Um, humans in the audience...
282
00:13:19,582 --> 00:13:21,450
I identify as a basketball.
283
00:13:21,484 --> 00:13:23,152
Humans and basketballs...
284
00:13:23,186 --> 00:13:24,396
I'm a parrot
who mimics words
285
00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:25,721
but doesn't
comprehend them.
286
00:13:25,754 --> 00:13:28,124
Humans, basketballs,
talking parrots,
287
00:13:28,157 --> 00:13:30,126
and-and whatever else
is out there...
288
00:13:30,159 --> 00:13:32,061
"Whatever"? It's whoever.
289
00:13:32,095 --> 00:13:33,696
Actually, it's whomever.
290
00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:35,498
No one likes you, Mary.
291
00:13:35,531 --> 00:13:38,077
All right, all
right, just-just calm down, okay?
292
00:13:38,101 --> 00:13:40,003
Now you're
tone policing us!
293
00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:41,313
That makes me
uncomfortable.
294
00:13:41,337 --> 00:13:44,140
Anything that makes me
uncomfortable in 2017
295
00:13:44,173 --> 00:13:45,308
should be illegal.
296
00:13:45,341 --> 00:13:48,144
You know what?
[BLEEP] you.
297
00:13:48,177 --> 00:13:50,479
I'm not a racist, all right?
I just told a bad joke.
298
00:13:50,513 --> 00:13:52,181
There's a huge difference.
299
00:13:52,215 --> 00:13:53,658
But nobody on the Internet
ever takes the time
300
00:13:53,682 --> 00:13:56,019
to ask themselves, "Is this
worth freaking out over?"
301
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:59,055
Or, "Are there bigger problems
in the world than this tweet?"
302
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,523
Well, I assure you, there are.
303
00:14:00,556 --> 00:14:02,992
And just for the record,
I love black people.
304
00:14:03,026 --> 00:14:04,727
I watch tons of black porn.
305
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,595
So, what do you all
want from me, huh?
306
00:14:06,629 --> 00:14:07,739
You-you want to ruin my life?
307
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,432
Then congratulations.
You did it.
308
00:14:09,465 --> 00:14:11,000
Everybody hates me.
309
00:14:11,034 --> 00:14:12,744
I can't leave the house
without getting harassed.
310
00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,003
No one will hire me.
311
00:14:14,037 --> 00:14:15,347
That was a problem before.
312
00:14:15,371 --> 00:14:17,606
I can't turn on my phone
without strangers telling me
313
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,742
to kill myself or that
they're gonna kill my family.
314
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,177
Leave me alone!
315
00:14:21,210 --> 00:14:24,013
I'm the self-righteous,
liberal douchebag, not you!
316
00:14:24,047 --> 00:14:26,115
I've kissed a
transsexual before!
317
00:14:26,149 --> 00:14:27,350
How many of you
can say that?!
318
00:14:27,383 --> 00:14:28,584
Where's my [BLEEP] medal?!
319
00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:30,086
I am so far left,
320
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,388
I'm spinning in
circles, you [BLEEP].
321
00:14:32,421 --> 00:14:35,058
Instead of killing myself,
I should kill all of you!
322
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:36,792
I'd like to see you try.
323
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:50,473
Ow! Jeez.
324
00:14:54,077 --> 00:14:55,711
Well, we started
the dialogue.
325
00:14:55,744 --> 00:14:58,247
You screamed "black porn"
at the top of your lungs
326
00:14:58,281 --> 00:14:59,815
in front
of women and children.
327
00:14:59,848 --> 00:15:02,385
I am not the person
those people out there say I am.
328
00:15:02,418 --> 00:15:04,653
I know that, but you
also haven't done much
329
00:15:04,687 --> 00:15:05,888
to prove that you aren't.
330
00:15:05,921 --> 00:15:07,623
I know, I know.
331
00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:10,093
All I have left is you guys.
332
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:11,227
Thank God you have my back.
333
00:15:11,260 --> 00:15:13,329
We think you should move out.
What?!
334
00:15:13,362 --> 00:15:16,232
Oh! Brian,
listen, we love you,
335
00:15:16,265 --> 00:15:18,267
but they're throwing
things at our house.
336
00:15:18,301 --> 00:15:20,303
We've got to keep
our family safe.
337
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,938
I'm sorry.
It's for the best.
338
00:15:22,972 --> 00:15:25,008
Are you serious?!
You're okay with this?!
339
00:15:25,041 --> 00:15:27,476
Does this slow pan
across our disapproving faces
340
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,777
answer your question?
341
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:40,689
I saw Baywatch.
342
00:15:40,723 --> 00:15:42,225
That thing was frickin' rad.
343
00:15:49,132 --> 00:15:50,966
I still think this
is a drastic measure.
344
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,301
Yeah, I messed up,
345
00:15:52,335 --> 00:15:54,337
but what about all the stupid
things Peter's done?
346
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,139
He's never been kicked out
and his life...
347
00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:57,773
My life is not the issue here.
348
00:15:57,806 --> 00:15:59,142
Peter, calm down.
349
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:00,485
Did you eat breakfast
this morning?
350
00:16:00,509 --> 00:16:02,111
I had a banana and a coffee.
351
00:16:02,145 --> 00:16:04,113
Why am I so fat?
352
00:16:04,147 --> 00:16:07,116
I'm sorry, Brian, but this
is the way it has to be.
353
00:16:07,150 --> 00:16:09,152
All right, then.
354
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,819
I guess this is good-bye.
355
00:16:18,994 --> 00:16:20,563
Brian, wait.
356
00:16:20,596 --> 00:16:23,466
This collar is ours.
357
00:16:23,499 --> 00:16:24,700
It has our address on it.
358
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:27,036
Peace, dude.
359
00:16:34,543 --> 00:16:38,081
All right, radio, time for you
to tell me what this all means.
360
00:16:38,114 --> 00:16:39,982
♪ I got a pocket
full of quarters ♪
361
00:16:40,015 --> 00:16:42,685
♪ And I'm headed to the arcade ♪
362
00:16:44,887 --> 00:16:46,655
♪ I don't have a lot of money ♪
363
00:16:46,689 --> 00:16:49,358
♪ But I'm bringing
ev'rything I made ♪
364
00:16:51,627 --> 00:16:53,396
♪ I've got a callus
on my finger ♪
365
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:56,432
♪ And my shoulder's
hurting, too ♪
366
00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:00,002
♪ I'm gonna eat them all up ♪
367
00:17:00,035 --> 00:17:02,971
♪ Just as soon
as they turn blue ♪
368
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:07,510
♪ 'Cause I've got
Pac-Man fever ♪
369
00:17:07,543 --> 00:17:09,212
♪ Pac-Man fever ♪
370
00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:10,746
♪ It's driving me crazy ♪
371
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:12,047
♪ Driving me crazy ♪
372
00:17:12,081 --> 00:17:14,049
♪ I've got Pac-Man fever ♪
373
00:17:14,083 --> 00:17:15,618
♪ Pac-Man fever ♪
374
00:17:15,651 --> 00:17:17,052
♪ I'm going out of my mind. ♪
375
00:17:32,668 --> 00:17:34,770
Hey. Are you here for
the Time magazines
376
00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,139
with some of the
letters cut out?
377
00:17:36,172 --> 00:17:39,208
Uh, no, I... no, I saw that you
have an apartment for rent.
378
00:17:39,242 --> 00:17:40,543
Okay.
379
00:17:40,576 --> 00:17:42,445
Here. Apartment 23.
380
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:43,812
Oh, okay.
381
00:17:43,846 --> 00:17:47,116
I just have one rule here:
no kissing the mailman.
382
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,817
I don't think that's
gonna be a problem.
383
00:17:48,851 --> 00:17:51,320
You haven't seen him,
so don't say that yet.
384
00:17:51,354 --> 00:17:52,588
Mail's here.
385
00:17:52,621 --> 00:17:54,757
Wow.
386
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:45,950
If I have
other items I want to buy,
387
00:18:45,974 --> 00:18:48,110
uh, can I buy them here
at the pharmacy window?
388
00:18:48,143 --> 00:18:49,278
Yes.
389
00:18:49,312 --> 00:18:51,447
Ruth?
Yeah, bring it over here.
390
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:52,815
We can buy them over here.
391
00:18:52,848 --> 00:18:54,116
Where are you?
392
00:18:54,149 --> 00:18:55,184
By the pharmacy.
393
00:18:55,218 --> 00:18:58,521
Hang on,
I'm picking out sunscreen.
394
00:18:58,554 --> 00:18:59,998
Sir, do you mind
if I go ahead of you?
395
00:19:00,022 --> 00:19:02,225
Uh, yes, I do mind.
396
00:19:02,258 --> 00:19:07,496
♪ This time I have really
lead myself astray... ♪
397
00:19:14,337 --> 00:19:17,573
♪ Wrong way on a one-way track ♪
398
00:19:17,606 --> 00:19:21,744
♪ Seems like I should be
getting somewhere ♪
399
00:19:21,777 --> 00:19:25,981
♪ Somehow I'm neither
here nor there... ♪
400
00:19:28,016 --> 00:19:29,885
Six dollars?
401
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:34,657
Hey, did you knock over a
few bottles in aisle seven?
402
00:19:34,690 --> 00:19:36,392
Uh, yeah.
403
00:19:39,194 --> 00:19:40,663
Okay.
404
00:19:40,696 --> 00:19:42,765
♪ Get so jaded. ♪
405
00:19:47,035 --> 00:19:48,771
Patricia?
406
00:19:48,804 --> 00:19:50,706
Where's the big nail clipper?
407
00:19:50,739 --> 00:19:51,783
I don't know.
408
00:19:51,807 --> 00:19:53,075
Did you get rid of it?
409
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,253
Why would I get rid
of the big nail clipper?
410
00:19:55,978 --> 00:19:58,122
'Cause you're a bitch, that's why.
411
00:19:58,146 --> 00:20:00,292
Nice. Yeah, now I'm
gonna tell you where it is.
412
00:20:00,316 --> 00:20:02,385
I knew you knew
where it was, you liar.
413
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:03,552
Tell me where it is!
414
00:20:03,586 --> 00:20:05,053
No. Find it yourself.
415
00:20:05,087 --> 00:20:06,589
Oh, okay. Fine.
416
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,724
How about I hide
something of yours?! Huh?!
417
00:20:08,757 --> 00:20:10,125
Put that back!
418
00:20:10,158 --> 00:20:13,061
No, tell me where
the big nail clipper is!
419
00:20:21,904 --> 00:20:23,539
Boom.
420
00:20:23,572 --> 00:20:25,741
Damn it.
421
00:20:25,774 --> 00:20:28,119
Why can't
you use the little nail clipper?
422
00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:29,745
I want the big one, okay?!
423
00:20:29,778 --> 00:20:31,780
And I don't want you
using it anymore!
424
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:33,215
Shut up, little man!
425
00:20:33,248 --> 00:20:34,216
You shut up!
426
00:20:34,249 --> 00:20:37,453
Where'd you put it, you liar?!
427
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,061
$900.
428
00:20:46,094 --> 00:20:47,062
"L."
429
00:20:47,095 --> 00:20:48,497
- "R."
- Aw.
430
00:20:48,531 --> 00:20:49,665
Two "R"s.