Where the hell are you guys?
We were uh... unavoidably detained.
"Dós taquitos" . One beef, one pork.
All right, just...
- One beef, one pork! - Yeah-- I got it Sock!
Hang on a sec...
What?
Hey, where did you say you were, again?
It's the old asylum out--
Uh... Sammy?
How are you doing here, buddy?
You almost done?
'Cause I have something I really wanna show you.
- Listen, you gotta get me outta here. - Why?
- This is so exciting! - No, please, the guy is gonna kill me!
Always so much drama...
Fine.
Wha-- that's it?
See?
- Now, that wasn't so hard. - What?
Tell me, Sammy...
What do you know about the world of business?
Where are we?
Did you know, beginning in the late 19 century,
corporations were granted all the rights of the individual.
But none of the annoying responsibilities.
They lacked, almost by design, any kind of moral compass, conscience or compassion.
Basically, corporations are a way
To enact sociopathic behavior on a grand scale.
In short, they're what makes this country so damn great.
So what, you work here?
Well... actually... I... was really rather hoping...
that you would.
What better place to instruct you in the ways of evil...
than here.
Corporate America!
MySeries.com.br and addic7ed.com corrections by aydin1954
So... the Devil's making you work here.
- Yep. - It sucks...
I don't know what the Devil's angle is,
but if he's trying to torture me, it could be worse.
A lot worse, man... This place is dowio
Benjamin!
Drink is ready!
Dude... there's a telephone in that bathroom.
Just got a lot of stuff done in a really short amount of time.
Bet you did...
So you're actually gonna take this job?
He did say that if I worked here I wouldn't have to catch souls.
Really?
Hey, getting paid to sit around and do nothing
Sounds a whole lot better than almost getting killed by axe wielding psychopaths.
And I'm really good at doing nothing.
That's true.
- Well, hello. - Hi.
I'm Avery, your personal secretary...
You should put this on, Mr. Randall is waiting for you.
- Who? - Mr. Randall, the C.E.O.
He's asked for you and he doesn't like to be kept waiting.
Right, absolutely.
Thank you, Avery!
After over two years of planning
And thousands of man-hours of research
And development, we present to you...
The "Orchard".
Combining high-end luxury apartments
With the best at shopping, and dinning.
Thank you, Phil. I get the general idea.
Now I'd like to hear what the new guy has.
Comes highly recommended by Jerry, upstairs.
- Me? - What you got?
Uh. Oh, I didn't realize I needed to prepare for something.
I-- have nothing.
Nothing?
You have nothing?
Maybe that's exactly what this project needs.
- It is? - A fresh start.
A new direction, and a leader who isn't afraid of throwing everything out.
Start over from ground zero.
Sam...
Why don't you take your time with this. Let this simmer.
Couple days, we'll see what you come back with.
Phil's set the bar pretty low.
I don't think this should be too hard.
Yo, Benji!
Got us some burgers, buddy!
- Benji, burgers... - Hey, Sock!
Wha-- What uh...
What is this?
Just giving Ben a trim.
You like it?
Doesn't look like a trim.
Looks like way, way more than a little trim.
- Something wrong? - Sock and I...
- Usually give each other haircuts-- - Usually?
Did you say usually? Ben? Usually?
Let's not forget that we've been cutting
Each's hair, for 6 years, Ben.
Six long, wonderful, funky-fresh years of...
Of bowl-cuts, and cornrows, and thaves, and high-tights
And many, many many more. You name it.
And then I come home to... to this.
So, yeah, yeah. Something's wrong.
Man, you need a girlfriend.
- What?! - Sock...
I don't know why I didn't think of this before,
- I have the perfect girl for you. - Ooh... fix up...
Her name is Maggie, she's a demon
And she is awesome.
You're gonna love her.
Come on, Sock...
We could double date. Think how much fun that would be.
And I promise we'll dress each other beforehand.
And maybe, uh...
You can give me a little trim, and I can clean you up later?
Absolutely, buddy.
Alright, I'm in.
- For you, Benji. Burger. - Thank you.
- Thanks for the pickles, buddy. - Thank you.
How was your first day?
Good. Fun.
Well, it's great to have people onboard.
To be honest,
we got some people here on cruise control.
What a dead weight.
I'm sorry. You know... I'm happy to work together on this
I don't even want the credit, so maybe if we--
One second.
Oh, my God!
- Hey. - Hey!
- I just got a text from my dad. - What did he say?
"Have what you need to get out of your deal."
"Trapped in the third circle of Hell."
"Need a way out. Send help".
See that? Sam?
Is just, do those little circles and then you pat the lower back
it's like you're uh... burping out a little tooth
That's-- that's very impressive.
Listen... Tony.
I need to get into Hell.
What? That's impossible, Sam. The living can't go down to Hell
They'll be incinerated.
You ever smell a man's flesh boil of his own body? Right?
Have you? No. I haven't. Big girl.
Tony, Tony, Tony. Focus.
My dad is stuck down there. Okay? Is there any chance maybe you could go?
I'd love to, Sam. But I-- I got a baby now,
I can't just run off willy-nilly
on a little trip to Hell.
Please! Plea-- I'm desperate!
Hey, Sam. Even if I could find a babysitter,
I'd have to find an active portal to travel to Hell,
I wouldn't even know where to begin to search for something like that.
Wha-- what about the DMV?
No, that's for vessels only.
Oh! You know what? I think your best bet would be to find uh, and active volcano, yeah.
Yeah, they're like pinples on the other world's ass.
Oh. Hey, speaking of volcanoes.
I think mount saint Stevie had a little eruption.
I have to go. Bye.
Thank you, Tony.
I'll admit it. I'm a little excited about this blind date.
I can tell.
You're wearing the musk I gave you for Valentine's Day.
I am.
I feel a little bit off but it but it has that great natural odor
It's really floral. Like lilacs or--
Ben, Sock... This is my friend, Maggie.
Hey!
No, it is it? This is Maggie?
This is your friend? That I would love?
It's her! Nina, you have really... outdone yourself.
I'm so happy with you right now.
This is gonna be--
You should've seen this one during the Roman empire.
Party girl!
What was that guy's name? Tiberius?
Oh! T-Bone!
T-Bone... We called him T-Bone.
He could not keep his hands off of you.
Wait...
I believe I set you up with him as well.
Oh, you are such a good friend.
That she is.
Well, I'm gonna make a... quick stop down the pee-pee town.
- I'll be right back. - Okay.
Hurry back, I miss you already.
- Sock! What the hell are you doing? - Nothing...
- Grab me a cover story. - A cover story for what, Sock?
For me bailing out on that neon thing. Thank you very much for the effort.
What we're gonna tell her... there was a bar fight that went on.
I got in the middle of it to kick everyone's ass. That's pretty usual.
And had to take a trip downtown to a patty wagon.
No, not good. Not good, Sock. That is my friend Maggie.
I don't want you bailing on her, that's so rude!
Nina, I waited until she went to the bathroom.
Like a gentlemen.
- Hey! - Wh-- Hey!
- Forgot my purse. - Oh, it's right there.
Yes, it is. What's going on here?
That-- nothing. I got paged...
So I gotta go...
To the hospital. Where I work...
As a surgeon.
- You're a surgeon? - Big time. Big time.
I-- I gotta ask. What kind of surgery are you gonna perform?
I...
Am going to perform what is commonly known
In the medical community as...
A face... off.
A face off?
Like the movie?
Yeah! Exactly like the movie.
We just found... the perfect face match.
So, I'm gonna buggy out of here.
Pleasure to make-- your acquaintance
Thank you again, Nina.
Yeah... Okay.
- Hey. Can I help you? - I don't know. Can you?
Here.
- Uh.... what should I do with this? - I don't know... Crush it?
Light it on fire... Just like you've done to my career.
Here, let me get this started for you.
No, stop! Stop! It's not that big of a deal!
You know what? You're right.
It's nothing.
80 hours a week... poured down the drain.
Nothing.
My dreams being disintegrated before my eyes...
Nothing.
My wife!
Leaving me...
For my dad!
Because he pays attention to her? It's nothing.
- Will you excuse me, for just a second? - Whoa, what are you--
This nothing is gonna jump off this window.
No-- no!
I hope all the 176 pounds of nothing shoots out of my ass!
No, Bill! No!
You're not-- You're not nothing, ok?
You're-- You're great!
How can you say that? You don't even know me!
Because I know a brilliant idea when I see it, okay?
And-- and the "Orchard"...
The "Orchard"... is a brilliant idea!
I don't deserve to be in charge of the project,
I-- I suck at this job, I shouldn't even be here.
You know what, you're right.
Can you help me out, Sam?
How?
I need you...
To go out of this window.
You are gonna be so great.
Fall to the ground, like a thicker tape of dandelion
- Phil, stop! - Don't fight it! It's a law of nature!
Kill or be killed.
It's a good thing you wear cheap ties.
What's that material? Paper maché?
- Is he dead? - Well, that poor bastard just dropped 59 floors...
Nah, he's probably fine.
Hey, victory Martini, Sammy?
I think I'm gonna be sick.
Oh, come on, man!
Don't feel so bad.
Most of this is all my fault anyway.
I've been trying to drive old Philly nuts
Ever since we recruited him from Harvard business school.
Why?
Well, that's the whole point of this place.
Some companies produce microwaves, here, we produce sin.
Oh, there's only so much I can explain to you.
Maybe I should just show you.
75, please.
Oh! I almost forgot.
I believe you need one of... these.
Only a select few ever make it up to 75, Sammy.
But everybody in this building would sell his grandma's virtue for that privilege.
Allow me.
My tailor died.
Oh. Well... I'm sorry.
Yeah. 81 years, I was with Lou.
He knew how to make a suit drip of a man.
Sweet Loui...
I'm gonna need some new blood, pronto
Don't you always wear the same suit?
I change three times a day, kiddo.
This is my afternoon suit.
We're seeing great results from that nymphomaniac temp
That we put on Jamison's desk last week.
They're committing adultery on 9 as we speak.
How are things looking in the mail room?
Can we cut their over time?
Yeah, just got word.
Herrio's plotting of murdering his supervisor
And his supervisor's supervisor.
Welcome to the top, Sammy.
They're all demons.
Demons, or souls that I own.
And they just... mess up everything for people down below?
Yeah. Pretty genius, right?
Thousands of employees in this building
All clawing, and scratching, and setting their way to the top...
Like Phil.
Then, once they're up here, they belong to me.
The entire purpose of this corporation is funneling souls into Hell.
Michael, is accounts payable took the bait!
- He's is cooking up to 18! - Ways off!
Can you hear me now?
Okay. Yeah, I'm back in town. I'll-- I'll go up to the meeting with you tonight.
What the hell was that?
That is a... portal.
To the home office.
That's a portal to Hell?
No, it's a portal to Zikakus
I know what you're thinking.
You do?
You're thinking this place doesn't look like much.
You're right, it doesn't.
But you will never know more power
Than the rush one feels
When they make something happen here, in the 75th floor.
This portal is definitely made for humans.
Well, demons... To go through.
So, do you think you can-- Can you stop that?
We're almost finished.
- Okay! - Nina, could you rescue my dad
If I get you to that portal?
- No... - No.
No, sorry. I don't think so.
But, Tony said that... demons should be fine in Hell.
Well, physically, yeah. But I don't wanna go.
I think it's too risky.
- Sam really needs your help. - The woman said "no".
I know, I know. It's just that I-- I don't understand why.
Okay, look...
I was really wild when I lived there. Okay?
And I don't wanna slip back into some old, negative habits, that I left behind.
Like maiming, and torturing, and impaling
Oh, my God. You guys, it's like spring break!
If you're a demon...
- But you're different now, right? - Absolutely. In theory...
The thing is... I've done a lot of personal development
And de-toxing.
In order to stop craving the sounds of people in agony.
She's more of a Stevie Wonder fan, now.
We are asking you for your help. As-- as friends.
If you agree to do this, that's pretty solid proof that you changed.
- Come on... I think you're gonna be just fine. - I wouldn't ask if there was any other way.
Come on, Nina. Please...
I think I can hold it together for one day.
Just for one day!
- Thank you. - Thank you!
Thank you so much.
Alright, baby. I'm gonna come back to you.
Oh, just be careful. It is Hell.
Okay, how are you gonna get her to the portal?
Oh, you need a keycard to get to the 75th floor.
But they only give those to executives.
But I figured, if I can impress the C.E.O.
With this presentation I'm supposed to give, he might promote me.
Have you ever been promoted?
No.
Hi. Hey.
Hi, Sock.
- Uh... Just... looking for Nina. - Oh, no. I haven't seen her today. So...
Sorry.
It was really... great to meet you yesterday.
- You walked out on me. - That was great too.
Can we just uh... be honest for a second here?
All right.
You don't find me attractive.
No. Not really.
Yeah, but if it's any consolation,
I think it has more to do with your choice of shirts.
- All right, fair enough. - Yeah, a little frumpy.
Okay.
Did Nina happen to mention that I can look like... whatever I want?
- What?! - I'm a demon, man.
This whole appearance... it's just a construct in my making
I thought you knew that.
I could look like Angelina Jolie, if I wanted...
And you chose to look like that?
Yeah, low maintenance, no fuss,
Don't have to floss.
Right... anyway, see you later.
Ah, Maggie, hold on...
So, what-- what-- How does this work?
I mean when I give you a picture...
Of like my dream girl,
- And you snap your fingers, turn into her? - Whoa, it's more complicated than that.
- But yes. - Wow...
That is big news for me.
This is major. All right, let--
Why don't we... give us another shot.
With a-- with a.... different... looking you.
Yeah, sure. Sure, yeah.
Wha-- what do you want me to look like?
What do I want you to look like-- That is a....
That's a really big question. Hang on. Let me take a look at you.
This is not something one wants to make a snap decision about, you know what I mean?
It's uh-- it requires some research, planning, a little meditation...
- I'm gonna need like 3 months. - I'll give a day.
- Let's do this. - All right.
Good job!
Yeah!
You may recall my self-sucking straw invention,
the "straw-tomatic". Well, my genius ideas
Don't stop at beverage implements.
I dabble in architectural design. And I'm gonna get you promoted, Sammy.
All right, what d'you got?
All right, now... My first idea combines A hotel and a retail mall...
All underwater.
I give you... "Bentopia".
Why is it underwater?
360º ocean views, man.
Right, okay.
Do you have anything that isn't underwater?
Sorry, I-- I think they all are.
So, I have nothing, man. This pitch is in 10 minutes!
Wha-- if the underwater thing's bumping you, Sam,
Let me remind you that we're all underneath water already!
Clouds, Sam! They're made of water!
I'm screwed, man! I'm never gonna get to the 75th floor.
My dad's gonna be stuck in Hell for all the eternity!
Or...
There's that.
Residents will live it up in... 5-star hotel-style accommodations,
And they'll totally be pampered by... like uh... uh...
A service office... that they can--
- A concierge service. - Sure, yeah.
You could call it that...
Tha-- the end.
What do you think?
I think that's Phil's model.
No... yes, but... I made changes to it.
Uh... very substantial changes. Like how I... crushed this part a little--
You stole Phil's model. That much is clear.
Okay, listen... I can explain--
This makes me suspect that you murdered him as well.
You saw his project, you wanted it for yourself.
So, you lured the man into your office and you tossed him out a 59 story window.
- Mr. Randall, no. - I'm impressed.
I would ne--
Wait... what?!
I have seen some ruthless stunts in my day.
Not many capital offenses though.
Even the best business schools
Don't bring that kind of bloodlust.
- Thank you. - Sam Oliver,
You are the total package.
Guts... determination...
Sociopathic tendencies.
Welcome to the executive ranks, my friend.
See you on the 75th floor...
Can you tell me where the fans are?
The fans? Yeah.
They are right over there. On the bottom shelf.
Just right there...
Uh... I don't see--
Did you just take a picture of my butt?
No. No, no, no, no. Just your lower back.
Don't flatter yourself.
Oh, Benji. I'm almost done.
Soon I will have created the perfect woman.
She looks like Frankenstein.
Dude, don't... do me like that. Come on...
I'm just saying it's unnatural.
It is not!
There are regular women, right here in this bar, who are beautiful!
- Really? - Yeah.
Okay, show me one.
Oh. Oh, my God.
- She's not bad. - Not at all.
Get to it, buddy.
Hey.
I'm sorry if I was starring, I just uh...
Got distracted by your hair.
- It's got a really gorgeous shimmer to it. - Thank you.
And those cheekbones are just... perfection.
Wow. I don't usually succumb to flattery but, uh...
- You're pretty cute. - Oh, my God!
I am struck by your beauty. Look at you...
Can I ask you a favor?
- Anything. - Can I touch your face?
Okay.
Team player, I like it.
7 and a half... that's pretty normal.
Good. Now...
Oh, have your eyes always been this far apart?
- You need to stop now. - I just need--
I'll go.
Okay, coast is clear.
Urgh... smells like Hell in here.
- You gonna be alright? - Yeah...
Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna be fine.
Just... please make sure that you guys are at this door
Tomorrow night, at 11 PM, because I don't wanna
Be down there any longer than I have to.
We'll be here.
- All right. Are you ready? - Uh, can you give us a second?
Hurry home, baby. I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you so much!
As soon as you get back, I'm gonna draw you a nice bath
And I'll give you a long ass foot massage.
You will? That sounds amazing.
Maybe you could get in the bath with me!
Oh, honey, I would. But it's a 1-person tub
And I don't wanna cramp you in there.
I wouldn't mind.
I know, but then there's the issue of dirty bath water.
And if we're both in there, then we're only semi-clean
And nobody wants that, okay? - Yeah, you're right.
Oh, maybe we could take a shower together,
That eliminates the dirty water scenario.
Yeah, that's a great idea. Shower...
Well, there's just one caveat, baby. I--
I don't like to stand when I'm naked.
- You sit in the shower, baby? - What? I serve squad. Yeah.
Okay. Then, when I get back we'll squad in the shower together.
Okay.
What? You never said good-bye to a girlfriend before?
- Love you. - I love you more.
Okay.
Time to go to Hell.
- All right. Thank you so much, Nina. - You're welcome.
Friends help friends, right?
Nina, wait!
If you took a shower beforehand,
Then maybe I could get in the tub with you...
There you are. I've been looking for you everywhere.
Okay. Now... What I'm about to show you...
Is a combination of a lot of hard work on my part--
- I'm really excited-- - Please. Don-- Don't.
Please.
Have a knock on me... is kinda of always been the type of guy that never finishes anything.
Like, when I was 5 years old,
I decided to build a bird house.
Never finished.
When I was 12, I decided to learn Spanish...
6 months later, I bid "adieu" to that dream.
- I think you mean "adios"-- - Shh! Do not... interrupt.
Okay... now, today... not only did I finish something...
I nailed something.
I present to you... my lady.
My dream woman.
Careful with her.
See, I drew on a variety of sources...
The... petit small nose, so characteristic of the women of southern Polynesia.
The toned arm musculature of a Jennifer Gardner.
Or an Anniston, if you will.
And the... monster boobs of the ladies of "Monster Boobs - The Movie".
- She's beautiful. - Yeah. I know.
So, you think you can... issue your way into that for me?
I can do it. I'd be honored.
- Hot dog! - I can do it.
What do you say? Tonight?
11-thirty?
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Don't screw this up.
Look at you...
Moving all up.
- What? - You got to the 75th floor, kiddo!
Faster than anybody I've ever seen.
You're really proving yourself, Sammy.
I couldn't be more proud.
- Thank you. What are you wearing? - Yeah, what do you think?
My new tailor says that has got some retro hip
Yeah... no.
It's a lot of look. Isn't it?
Not me.
Damn.
I need to get my old tailor back.
I thought he was dead.
Semantics. Don't worry about it.
Mr. Oliver?
Mr. Randall would like to you in the conference room.
He sounds pretty angry.
Don't ask me.
What the heck did you do?
Mr. Oliver. Are you aware that we have surveillance cameras throughout this building?
Mr. Randall, I can explain. She was a friend of mine,
And she just wanted to go home for a visit.
Do you see the problem here, Mr. Oliver?
- The problem? - You didn't kill Phil.
I'm sorry?
You...
- What kind of con are you playing, mister? - I'm-- I'm not conning, I just--
Wait... you're mad because I didn't kill Phil?
- Really? - No, Sam.
I'm mad because you let me think
That you killed somebody.
You weren't man enough to pull the trigger.
On Phil, or on the project.
No, I could pull the trigger. I can, I swear!
In my experience, you either got it...
Or you don't.
And you... don't.
You're fired. Effective immediately.
No. Please, Mr. Randall. I can do better.
Go clear your desk and leave. Right now.
Hand over your keycard.
Okay. Mr. Randall's secretary told me
he would be here any minute. Let's uh...
Let's get the keycard out of his lock while he's in the gym.
Yeah. You know, but you two got that covered
I think I'm gonna rip a little boxersizing over here.
We have to meet Nina at the portal in two hours.
And you're seriously thinking about taking a boxerszing class?
- Yeah, I am getting a little fat these days. - Oh, wait, wait. There's Mr. Randall.
- He's going in. - Okay. Come on.
Sock. Follow him in there.
Keep him busy. Ben and I are gonna
break in the locker and grab his keycard.
Okay, one question. Why does he have his shirt off
If I'm going to the steam room?
We're undercover.
I'm trying to be inconspicuous.
- Okay, fair enough. - Go, go.
Hello. Good afternoon, gentleman.
How's the market doing?
Down, 200 points.
Ohh. That's rough. Boy oh boy I tell you about it...
You know, I have and uncle...
- Works on uh... Wall Street. - Yeah?
He used to have a... corner on the market,
Now he's got a market on the corner.
Okay, uh... Allow me, Samuel.
All right, we use my system. We're gonna get this thing
- Crack open in no time. - You have a system?
There's a lot you don't know about me, Sammy.
Please turn the dial to 0-0-0.
Locked.
0-0-1.
0-0-2.
- 0-0-3. - Wait!
Are you just... wanting me to stand here
And try every number until we find it?
Trust the system, Sam.
Trust it.
0-0-4.
That doesn't seem to be the one.
Well... think I'd better hit the shower.
- And get back to the office. - No. No, no, no.
No, you don't wanna do that. That would be... a huge mistake.
Really? Why?
Well, because... you... would be walking out on the business venture of a lifetime.
- Some other time. - No! No, listen to me,
There may not be another opportunity.
For... thousands of miles of lake front property for pennies.
Okay... I'm listening.
- 0-0-9. - Ben, this is idiotic.
We cannot stand here and try every single number.
What are you guys doing?
- Uh... we were just. Uh-- - We-- the--
Our combination... isn't working.
You think you could give us a hand?
Yeah, no problem.
I got the master key right here.
- Oh, master key! - Thank you!
- Thank you, very much! - All right, guys.
- Take it easy... - Ben.
And then the... explosive charges go off...
Completely flooding the Grand Canyon. Filling it up with water,
And bam... all that worthless property turned into
Prime time real estate.
You wanna flood Grand Canyon...
- Absolutely. - It's a national park.
So now it's a national pool.
- Sir? - Yeah.
- All ready. - Benjamin, yes.
Thank you. Okay.
That's my secretary.
Good, we'll get those papers all... signed up and set over...
Your way. All right, buddy? Enjoy your sweat.
All right. Ben and I are gonna go up to the 75th floor
And grab Nina.
You guys stay here...
On the lookout, all right?
Oh, my God! Andi!
Has anyone ever told you, you have exclusive fingernails?
Okay, Sam. Please, be careful, okay?
We'll give you a call if we hear anything.
Wait a minute. Seriously. What is your secret?
- Come here! - Oh, my lord!
What? Reflexology?
- Yeah. - ???.
Would you stop it? What is the problem with you? Always--
- Randall! - Go, go, go!
This is Sam. Leave a message.
Sam! Mr. Randall's here, okay? He's in the building!
- Get out! - Wait, wait, wait!
Wait, Sam, Sam, Sam. I think you're good.
He can't get in without his keycard.
You are golden.
I repeat: you're golden.
Call him back.
Speed dial. Speed dial!
- Nina? - Baby?
Dad?
- Nina! - Baby!
I was so afraid you guys weren't coming!
Where is my dad?
He had to stay behind.
He had something important to do but... he told me to give this to you.
It's blank. What is it?
What?!
That doesn't makes sense. This-- This had writing on it when he gave it to me.
Who's that?
Hello?
What?!
Damn it!
That's Mr. Randall in the elevator shaft.
We gotta get out of here.
- We're all gonna die! - Listen, you flew with Ben before.
You think you can carry the both of us?
- I don't know. I could try. - You're gonna have to--
Come on, come on! Go, go, go!
Wow!
This is the 75th floor!
Oh, hey.
I'm just gonna go back.
You ready to meet your dream girl?
Absolutely.
What!
Wh-- What is this?
You didn't change. You didn't turn into my dream woman.
- Yeah, I never was gonna do that. - What?! You-- you said that--
I lied.
Yeah, so sue me..
But, uh... I wanted to teach you a lesson and uh...
Judging by the look on your face right now... message received.
Wow, we!
I-- honestly I had no idea that you were this cruel.
Cruel?
You're kidding me? You're a pig!
I was not being a pig!
You're being sadistic!
Yeah! I tried to be honest with you, right?
I tried to tell you, that I simply wasn't attracted to you.
But that wasn't good enough for you, right?
And now... you have to concut some cockamamy plan,
To come here and punish me!
All right, all right? I'm sorry.
I don't know, maybe I was projecting my insecurities on to you.
Yeah, I get that.
You know, it may not look like it from where you're standing, but...
I am definitely riddled with my share of insecurities.
You're not the only one who gets judged for the way they look.
- I didn't realize that. - Well...
Hey... I have an idea.
To help us get out of this situation.
- I'm listening. - Okay, now... what if...
And this is just top-- top of my head.
What if... you go ahead and turn into my dream woman...
And then I... will feel better about myself
For having dated her...
And you won't have any insecurities left
Because I would be all over her.
AKA... the better looking version of you.
You...
You are an idiot.
Oh, that...
Listen... can I have my collage back?
You know... I tried everything. I got it wet...
I put lemon juice on it...
If there's anything written on this paper, I can't find it.
Did Sam's dad say anything else?
All he said was that this is the way to get the Devil
In the competition with Sam.
I'm so happy your home...
Even though you smell like exile still
Yo, Nina. Childhood memories... right?
Oh, my gosh. I'm so stupid!
- Here, give me that. - No!
Wait. Wait. Just watch it.
- See? - Oh, my God. Look at that!
What does it mean?
I don't know. It's an ancient demon text.
It's way before my time.
We get this translated...
Sam gets out of his deal with the Devil.
- All right! - All right! Yeah!
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