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00:00:02,661 --> 00:00:05,140
ADULT SHELDON: The average
American consumes
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00:00:05,143 --> 00:00:08,179
55 pounds of beef per year.
3
00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:10,016
And then there's Texas,
4
00:00:10,019 --> 00:00:12,869
where we can knock that
off in a couple of months.
5
00:00:12,871 --> 00:00:15,929
Maybe faster, if we're talking
about smoked brisket...
6
00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:18,207
(♪♪♪)
7
00:00:21,246 --> 00:00:23,398
curiously, the one cut of beef
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00:00:23,401 --> 00:00:26,069
that Texans and
Jews agree upon.
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00:00:28,302 --> 00:00:30,669
(MOUTH FULL) This is
really good, Meemaw.
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00:00:30,672 --> 00:00:31,921
Really good?
11
00:00:31,923 --> 00:00:34,457
You're spitting the
best brisket in Texas
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00:00:34,459 --> 00:00:35,959
all over the damn table.
13
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Close your mouth when you eat.
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Or aim your face the other way.
15
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Connie, one of these days,
you got to give me the recipe.
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You bet. For sure.
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00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:46,820
- One of these days.
- Oh, come on.
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00:00:46,823 --> 00:00:48,286
You can't hold on to it forever.
19
00:00:48,289 --> 00:00:49,422
Mean that much to you?
20
00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:50,972
Mary and I were dating
about a month...
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00:00:50,975 --> 00:00:52,441
when she brought me home
for dinner.
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I took one bite of this brisket,
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and I knew I loved
your daughter.
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Gee, thanks.
25
00:00:56,995 --> 00:00:59,810
Kind of like Sleeping Beauty,
except Dad kissed meat.
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(CHUCKLES)
27
00:01:01,886 --> 00:01:03,019
I tell you what.
28
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:04,473
You go get a...
29
00:01:04,476 --> 00:01:06,055
piece of paper and a pencil,
30
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I'll write it down for you.
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Okay.
It's happening...
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That's the fastest
I've seen him run.
33
00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:17,767
It's the only time
I've seen him run.
34
00:01:19,304 --> 00:01:20,303
There you go.
35
00:01:20,306 --> 00:01:21,914
Okay.
36
00:01:25,577 --> 00:01:26,943
I might make it this weekend.
37
00:01:26,945 --> 00:01:28,678
Or you could try a vegetable.
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Vegetable?
That's funny.
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Okay.
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00:01:35,086 --> 00:01:37,007
Now, this is for your eyes only.
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You're not to share
it with anybody.
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I never... I would never.
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00:01:46,631 --> 00:01:48,064
You're a horrible person.
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- (CHUCKLES)
- What'd it say?
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00:01:50,035 --> 00:01:51,300
I want to know
what it said.
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- Me, too.
- Just eat.
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Can I read it?
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You are a horrible person.
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Ain't I? (LAUGHS)
50
00:02:02,313 --> 00:02:04,914
All right,
that's enough about the brisket.
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00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:07,250
You kids excited for the
church picnic tomorrow?
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00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:08,910
- Not really.
- I don't know.
53
00:02:08,913 --> 00:02:10,444
Oh, come on.
54
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You all saw the flier.
The three "F"s:
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food, fun and fellowship.
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MEEMAW: And I'm bringing
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a big slab of my brisket.
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That's it.
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00:02:20,570 --> 00:02:23,625
15 years in this family, and
all the time I've been nothing
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00:02:23,628 --> 00:02:25,228
but a good,
supportive son-in-law.
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00:02:25,231 --> 00:02:26,803
I always treated
your daughter right,
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00:02:26,805 --> 00:02:28,971
I gave you three
beautiful grandchildren.
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Only thing I ever asked in
return was that damn recipe.
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00:02:35,713 --> 00:02:37,080
You're right.
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00:02:40,819 --> 00:02:43,186
Get another piece of paper.
I'll write it down.
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00:02:43,188 --> 00:02:44,554
Don't mess with me, Connie.
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00:02:44,556 --> 00:02:46,923
Get the paper before
I change my mind.
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00:02:53,331 --> 00:02:55,465
You're gonna do it to
him again, aren't you?
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00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:58,801
I kind of have to.
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00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:01,763
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
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00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:04,539
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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00:03:04,542 --> 00:03:07,210
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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00:03:07,212 --> 00:03:10,246
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,249
(TOILET FLUSHES)
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00:03:19,252 --> 00:03:21,206
MARY: George, she was
just fooling with you.
76
00:03:21,209 --> 00:03:23,031
GEORGE: No, no, she's mean.
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00:03:23,034 --> 00:03:24,237
She got a black heart.
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00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:25,498
MARY: She does not.
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00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:27,304
GEORGE: Why do you
always side with her?
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00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:29,351
MARY: Well, she is my mother.
81
00:03:29,354 --> 00:03:30,536
GEORGE: And there it is.
82
00:03:30,538 --> 00:03:31,604
There's the problem.
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00:03:31,606 --> 00:03:33,539
You should be siding with me.
84
00:03:33,541 --> 00:03:36,775
- MARY: Over brisket?
- GEORGE: It's not just brisket.
85
00:03:36,778 --> 00:03:38,911
It's the way she's been
treating me since day one.
86
00:03:38,913 --> 00:03:41,886
Like I'm some kind of
loser, a booby prize.
87
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,243
- "Booby prize."
- MARY: What was that?
88
00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:53,698
Georgie, you mind
your own business.
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00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,227
What did I do?
90
00:03:56,664 --> 00:03:58,664
What's going on?
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00:03:58,666 --> 00:04:01,067
Mom and Dad are fighting.
92
00:04:01,069 --> 00:04:02,498
What about?
93
00:04:02,501 --> 00:04:04,006
Brisket.
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00:04:05,673 --> 00:04:07,873
If they get a divorce,
who do you think
95
00:04:07,875 --> 00:04:09,442
you'll pick to live with?
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00:04:10,678 --> 00:04:12,445
Well, Mom, of course.
97
00:04:12,447 --> 00:04:14,280
I want Mom.
Pick again.
98
00:04:14,282 --> 00:04:15,848
(SIGHS)
99
00:04:15,850 --> 00:04:18,351
(♪♪♪)
100
00:04:18,353 --> 00:04:19,819
I thought Dad was coming.
101
00:04:19,821 --> 00:04:21,432
No, he had work to do.
102
00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:24,103
- What kind of work?
- I don't know. Coaching stuff.
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00:04:24,106 --> 00:04:25,667
Can't he do it
after the picnic?
104
00:04:25,670 --> 00:04:27,660
- No, Missy, he cannot.
- Why not?
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00:04:27,662 --> 00:04:30,096
Enough.
106
00:04:30,098 --> 00:04:32,298
How come Georgie's not going?
107
00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:35,601
He's grounded for eavesdropping
on me and your father.
108
00:04:37,672 --> 00:04:39,605
Well, I hope
he learned his lesson.
109
00:04:39,607 --> 00:04:42,108
Is this about the recipe?
110
00:04:43,211 --> 00:04:45,845
I bet he's mad 'cause you
always side with Meemaw.
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00:04:45,847 --> 00:04:47,947
And how would you know that?
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00:04:47,949 --> 00:04:49,682
Georgie told me.
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00:04:49,684 --> 00:04:52,018
Are you and Dad
getting a divorce?
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00:04:52,020 --> 00:04:54,553
'Course not.
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Well, if you do,
I want to live with you.
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00:04:56,811 --> 00:04:59,525
Sheldon,
no one's getting a divorce.
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But thank you, honey.
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00:05:03,765 --> 00:05:05,665
You know this all goes away
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00:05:05,667 --> 00:05:08,501
if you just give him your
recipe for the brisket.
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00:05:08,503 --> 00:05:09,635
I know.
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00:05:09,637 --> 00:05:11,370
And?
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I guess it's not going away.
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00:05:18,146 --> 00:05:19,645
(FOOTBALL ANNOUNCER SPEAKING OVER TV)
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00:05:19,647 --> 00:05:21,814
And I wasn't eavesdropping.
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00:05:21,816 --> 00:05:23,282
Don't worry about it.
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00:05:23,284 --> 00:05:25,317
I just don't see why
I got grounded.
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00:05:25,319 --> 00:05:26,852
What are you complaining about?
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00:05:26,854 --> 00:05:28,954
You didn't want to go
to church picnic anyway.
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00:05:28,956 --> 00:05:31,290
I like complaining.
I'm good at it.
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I'll be right back.
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Mind if I have
a sip of your beer?
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You mind if I dip your
head in the compost heap?
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You could have just said no.
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(♪♪♪)
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00:06:14,602 --> 00:06:17,737
- What are you doing?
- (GASPS)
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00:06:17,739 --> 00:06:19,405
Nothing! Get out of here.
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You're looking for
her brisket recipe.
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All of a sudden you got smart?
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I said get out of here.
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I won't tell, I swear.
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All right, help me look.
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- Ooh.
- Found it?
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00:06:36,891 --> 00:06:38,761
No, this is her French toast.
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00:06:38,764 --> 00:06:40,926
You're not looking for
French toast.
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She does make it good, though.
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00:06:42,764 --> 00:06:44,588
Did you know
she puts vanilla extract
147
00:06:44,591 --> 00:06:45,690
in her whipped cream?
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I did not.
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Quarter teaspoon.
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00:06:48,436 --> 00:06:50,069
- Georgie?
- Yeah?
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00:06:50,071 --> 00:06:51,704
We're looking for brisket!
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Cranky.
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00:06:57,979 --> 00:07:00,679
- (DOOR OPENS)
- MARY: We're home.
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Be cool.
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00:07:01,783 --> 00:07:03,649
I'm cool.
You be cool.
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00:07:03,651 --> 00:07:05,851
(LEATHER SQUEAKING)
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00:07:09,390 --> 00:07:12,324
(CHAIR CLATTERS)
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Real cool.
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He thought I wrote it down.
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What a dope.
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00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:44,556
MAN: Seltzer...
(CONTINUES SPEAKING OVER TV)
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00:07:44,559 --> 00:07:46,489
- hair tonic.
- Hair tonic.
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00:07:48,126 --> 00:07:50,260
(MAN CONTINUES SPEAKING OVER TV)
164
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:51,821
Need help putting the kids down?
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00:07:51,824 --> 00:07:53,830
No, thank you, I've been
taking care of them all day.
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I think
I can finish the job.
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Oh, come on, don't do that.
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00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:58,601
Don't do what?
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00:08:00,586 --> 00:08:02,252
Never mind.
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00:08:06,407 --> 00:08:08,545
Just so you know,
Sheldon and Missy won
171
00:08:08,547 --> 00:08:10,246
the three-legged race
because she told him
172
00:08:10,248 --> 00:08:12,615
a bee was chasing them,
and you missed it.
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00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:15,385
I'm sorry, I-I just needed
a break from your mother.
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00:08:15,387 --> 00:08:18,087
Yeah, well, you took a
break from your family.
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00:08:18,089 --> 00:08:20,390
How long is this feud between
you two gonna go on?
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00:08:20,392 --> 00:08:21,591
That's up to her.
177
00:08:21,593 --> 00:08:24,173
You are both such...
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00:08:24,176 --> 00:08:27,130
stubborn... donkey butts!
179
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,198
- (MISSY LAUGHING)
- Missy!
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00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,433
Go to bed.
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00:08:30,435 --> 00:08:32,001
MISSY: You don't know it's me.
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00:08:32,003 --> 00:08:33,903
(RUNNING FOOTSTEPS, DOOR CLOSES)
183
00:08:35,365 --> 00:08:38,600
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
184
00:08:38,610 --> 00:08:39,742
Hey.
185
00:08:39,744 --> 00:08:42,211
What do you want?
186
00:08:42,213 --> 00:08:44,714
Don't be that way.
187
00:08:44,716 --> 00:08:46,282
I brought you a cold one.
188
00:08:46,284 --> 00:08:49,252
Thanks.
189
00:08:49,254 --> 00:08:50,753
I still don't like you.
190
00:08:50,755 --> 00:08:52,722
(CHUCKLING)
191
00:08:57,295 --> 00:08:59,762
Would this change your feelings?
192
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,299
Is that it?
193
00:09:03,301 --> 00:09:05,251
The Holy Grail.
194
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,374
What changed your mind?
195
00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:13,423
You not going to
the picnic today,
196
00:09:13,426 --> 00:09:15,411
that hurt Mary and the twins.
197
00:09:15,413 --> 00:09:17,080
I cannot have that on my heart.
198
00:09:17,082 --> 00:09:19,048
- Is that so?
- Absolutely.
199
00:09:20,578 --> 00:09:22,177
Look me in the eye and tell me
200
00:09:22,180 --> 00:09:23,970
this is the actual recipe.
201
00:09:25,323 --> 00:09:28,318
George,
what you have in your hand
202
00:09:28,321 --> 00:09:31,327
is the exact
step-by-step instructions
203
00:09:31,329 --> 00:09:34,464
on how to make my brisket.
204
00:09:34,466 --> 00:09:39,002
I have never written it
down until tonight because...
205
00:09:39,004 --> 00:09:42,071
I was afraid
someone might steal it.
206
00:09:42,073 --> 00:09:45,228
But I'm entrusting this to you,
207
00:09:45,231 --> 00:09:49,162
and I hope that someday,
when the time is right,
208
00:09:49,165 --> 00:09:52,743
you will see fit to share
it with one of your children.
209
00:09:52,746 --> 00:09:54,246
Connie,
I don't know what to say.
210
00:09:54,249 --> 00:09:55,849
Don't call me Connie.
211
00:09:55,852 --> 00:09:58,919
Call me Mom. (CHUCKLES)
212
00:09:58,922 --> 00:10:00,789
Thanks, Mom.
213
00:10:00,792 --> 00:10:02,692
You're welcome, son.
214
00:10:02,695 --> 00:10:05,496
Mmm.
215
00:10:05,499 --> 00:10:07,597
(♪♪♪)
216
00:10:07,599 --> 00:10:09,098
(QUIETLY) What a dope.
217
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:10,633
♪ What I want, you've got ♪
218
00:10:10,635 --> 00:10:12,902
♪ And it might be hard to handle ♪
219
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:15,905
♪ But like the flame
that burns the candle... ♪
220
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:18,404
ADULT SHELDON: The next morning,
my dad embarked
221
00:10:18,407 --> 00:10:21,878
on a doomed quest to
make the perfect brisket.
222
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,880
Can I help you?
223
00:10:23,882 --> 00:10:25,581
Matter of fact, you can.
224
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,025
♪ You pull them all together... ♪
225
00:10:27,028 --> 00:10:30,453
I need 12 pounds of prime
Angus with a medium deckle,
226
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:34,267
ideally slaughtered in the
spring, no later than mid-June.
227
00:10:35,393 --> 00:10:38,654
♪ You make my dreams come true... ♪
228
00:10:38,657 --> 00:10:40,663
ADULT SHELDON: For the spice rub,
229
00:10:40,665 --> 00:10:42,632
Meemaw had him drive
to New Orleans
230
00:10:42,634 --> 00:10:45,647
to buy ground coffee
from Café Du Monde,
231
00:10:45,650 --> 00:10:49,756
and seven ounces of something
called "holy ghost root"
232
00:10:49,759 --> 00:10:52,542
from a voodoo woman
named Madam Laveau.
233
00:10:52,544 --> 00:10:53,876
♪ Yeah... ♪
234
00:10:53,879 --> 00:10:55,345
Could you grind
my root for me?
235
00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:01,350
I-I'm-a...
I'm-a rub it on brisket.
236
00:11:07,926 --> 00:11:11,027
ADULT SHELDON: Then back
home, he applied the spice rub
237
00:11:11,029 --> 00:11:13,496
with such erotic tenderness,
238
00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:16,332
it made my mother
a little jealous.
239
00:11:17,769 --> 00:11:19,402
♪ Well, you... ♪
240
00:11:19,404 --> 00:11:22,014
Finally, the cooking began.
241
00:11:22,017 --> 00:11:24,874
♪ You make my dreams come true... ♪
242
00:11:26,444 --> 00:11:29,078
♪ Oh, yeah, I've been waiting for... ♪
243
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:32,248
14 hours of cooking.
244
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:33,587
And basting.
245
00:11:33,590 --> 00:11:35,184
♪ You make my dreams come true... ♪
246
00:11:35,186 --> 00:11:37,286
And spritzing.
247
00:11:37,288 --> 00:11:38,521
♪ Me, you, me, you, me... ♪
248
00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:40,782
And tending to the fire.
249
00:11:43,261 --> 00:11:46,896
♪ Oh, my, you make my
dreams come true... ♪
250
00:11:46,898 --> 00:11:51,968
Until it was finally time
to let the meat rest.
251
00:11:51,970 --> 00:11:54,103
♪ Waiting for, waiting for, waiting for ♪
252
00:11:54,239 --> 00:11:56,172
♪ Waiting for, waiting for, waiting for ♪
253
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:58,841
Oh...
254
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:02,178
Rest, my darling.
255
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,846
Rest.
256
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:07,850
Mmm. This Café Du Monde
coffee is very good.
257
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,772
They make it with chicory.
258
00:12:09,775 --> 00:12:12,255
And what does it do
to the brisket?
259
00:12:12,257 --> 00:12:13,936
Oh, I have no idea.
260
00:12:13,939 --> 00:12:18,267
Then why did you send George
all the way to New Orleans?
261
00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:21,030
Well, they don't sell
this around here.
262
00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,198
Mmm.
263
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,700
Here we go.
264
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:27,798
15 years and 14 hours later.
265
00:12:27,801 --> 00:12:30,267
Best brisket in Texas.
266
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:38,259
GEORGE SR.: Connie, you evil bitch!
267
00:12:38,262 --> 00:12:40,629
It's smoother than
regular coffee.
268
00:12:40,632 --> 00:12:43,318
That wasn't the recipe.
269
00:12:43,321 --> 00:12:45,654
You looked me in the
eye, and you lied to me.
270
00:12:45,657 --> 00:12:46,789
Oh, Mom.
271
00:12:46,791 --> 00:12:49,225
You broke into my home
and tried to steal it.
272
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,259
Oh, George.
273
00:12:50,261 --> 00:12:51,561
You told her
we went over there?
274
00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:53,396
(GASPS) Oh, George Jr.
275
00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:55,364
I didn't say nothing.
I was cool.
276
00:12:55,366 --> 00:12:57,079
I am loving this.
277
00:12:57,082 --> 00:12:59,056
I don't want this woman
in my house anymore.
278
00:12:59,059 --> 00:13:01,037
- She is my mother.
- She is the devil.
279
00:13:01,039 --> 00:13:03,039
And what if
the kids want to see her?
280
00:13:03,041 --> 00:13:04,974
Fine.
281
00:13:04,976 --> 00:13:06,909
Schedule it for
when I'm not here.
282
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:08,642
Or when I'm dead.
283
00:13:16,321 --> 00:13:18,256
And quit drinking my coffee.
284
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:30,466
Turn off your train,
we've got to talk.
285
00:13:30,468 --> 00:13:31,500
(TRAIN STOPS)
286
00:13:31,502 --> 00:13:32,535
About what?
287
00:13:32,537 --> 00:13:34,170
Mom is so upset about
Dad and Meemaw,
288
00:13:34,172 --> 00:13:35,671
she might want a divorce.
289
00:13:35,673 --> 00:13:37,368
No one's getting divorced.
290
00:13:37,371 --> 00:13:38,574
How do you know?
291
00:13:38,576 --> 00:13:40,042
(WHISTLES)
292
00:13:40,044 --> 00:13:41,677
Great,
now I have to throw that out.
293
00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:45,818
Mother-in-laws are always
held in low regard by the father.
294
00:13:45,821 --> 00:13:48,251
It rarely leads to
a breakup of the family.
295
00:13:48,253 --> 00:13:49,486
MISSY: He's right.
296
00:13:49,489 --> 00:13:52,054
Fred and Wilma are
still happily married.
297
00:13:52,056 --> 00:13:53,956
I think if we can figure out
298
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,058
a way for Dad to get
Meemaw's brisket recipe,
299
00:13:56,060 --> 00:13:57,393
this all goes away.
300
00:13:57,395 --> 00:13:59,636
I don't see how
we can accomplish that.
301
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,029
(TRAIN CLATTERS)
302
00:14:01,032 --> 00:14:02,443
Put that down.
303
00:14:02,446 --> 00:14:03,599
That's not a toy.
304
00:14:03,601 --> 00:14:04,834
Sure it is.
305
00:14:04,836 --> 00:14:06,202
Choo choo.
306
00:14:06,204 --> 00:14:08,738
MEEMAW: Choo choo...
307
00:14:08,740 --> 00:14:11,307
Choo choo.
308
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,843
Open wide, Moonpie.
309
00:14:13,845 --> 00:14:16,312
Here comes the choo choo train.
310
00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,350
Choo choo.
311
00:14:18,353 --> 00:14:20,383
Mmm.
Isn't that good?
312
00:14:20,385 --> 00:14:21,550
(CHUCKLES)
313
00:14:21,552 --> 00:14:25,054
That's Meemaw's famous brisket.
314
00:14:25,056 --> 00:14:27,256
Would you like
the secret recipe?
315
00:14:27,258 --> 00:14:28,462
(GASPS)
316
00:14:28,465 --> 00:14:31,260
You promise not to tell anybody?
317
00:14:31,262 --> 00:14:34,030
Of course you're not
gonna tell anybody.
318
00:14:34,032 --> 00:14:37,600
I start with
a tablespoon of cumin,
319
00:14:37,602 --> 00:14:41,003
and then a cup of brown sugar,
and...
320
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,505
I know the recipe.
321
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:43,696
What?
322
00:14:43,699 --> 00:14:44,775
She told it to me.
323
00:14:44,778 --> 00:14:45,777
When?
324
00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:48,240
February 14, 1982.
325
00:14:48,243 --> 00:14:50,413
I was 23 months old,
it was Valentine's Day,
326
00:14:50,415 --> 00:14:52,287
and Mom and Dad
went out for dinner.
327
00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:54,617
You were there.
Don't you remember?
328
00:14:54,619 --> 00:14:56,126
(SIGHS)
329
00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:59,251
(WIND WHISTLING SOFTLY)
330
00:14:59,254 --> 00:15:00,787
I got nothing.
331
00:15:00,790 --> 00:15:03,240
You can really remember
when you were that little?
332
00:15:03,243 --> 00:15:04,821
Uh-huh.
You were there, too.
333
00:15:04,824 --> 00:15:06,862
You were still struggling
with potty training.
334
00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:08,540
(CHUCKLING) I don't think so.
335
00:15:08,543 --> 00:15:11,821
Oh, yes. Meemaw used to
call you Mr. Soggy Pants.
336
00:15:11,824 --> 00:15:12,868
Nuh-uh.
337
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,345
(LAUGHS) Mr. Soggy Pants.
338
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,081
Quit it.
This is serious.
339
00:15:16,084 --> 00:15:18,306
Sheldon, you've got to
tell Dad that recipe.
340
00:15:18,309 --> 00:15:20,907
But Meemaw told me
it was a secret.
341
00:15:20,910 --> 00:15:24,012
If you don't, and Mom and Dad
get a divorce, it's your fault.
342
00:15:24,015 --> 00:15:26,402
All right.
343
00:15:26,405 --> 00:15:27,771
Fine.
344
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,120
Good job, Soggy Pants.
345
00:15:31,122 --> 00:15:33,089
(REFEREE WHISTLE BLOWING OVER TV)
346
00:15:33,091 --> 00:15:36,126
Dad, could you please
come into the living room?
347
00:15:36,129 --> 00:15:37,628
What for?
348
00:15:37,631 --> 00:15:38,961
My brain did
something impressive
349
00:15:38,963 --> 00:15:40,939
and I'd like to
share it with you.
350
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:43,899
Hmm.
351
00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:46,902
(GEORGE SR. GRUNTS)
352
00:15:49,525 --> 00:15:50,873
What are you doing here?
353
00:15:50,875 --> 00:15:52,475
Same as you.
354
00:15:52,477 --> 00:15:54,543
I want to see
what his brain did.
355
00:15:54,545 --> 00:15:57,113
Please have a seat.
356
00:15:57,115 --> 00:15:58,907
All right.
357
00:16:00,551 --> 00:16:01,915
(GRUNTS)
358
00:16:01,918 --> 00:16:03,350
GEORGE SR.: Well?
359
00:16:03,353 --> 00:16:05,787
I know
Meemaw's brisket recipe.
360
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:06,790
What?
361
00:16:06,793 --> 00:16:07,825
No, you don't.
362
00:16:07,828 --> 00:16:09,258
Yes, I do.
363
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,594
And in order to bring
peace to this family,
364
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,282
I'm prepared to
make it public.
365
00:16:13,285 --> 00:16:14,397
You're bluffing.
366
00:16:14,399 --> 00:16:15,798
One tablespoon of cumin,
367
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,166
one cup of brown sugar,
368
00:16:17,168 --> 00:16:19,009
two tablespoons of
smoked paprika...
369
00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,178
Okay, okay, stop.
370
00:16:20,181 --> 00:16:21,180
No, no, no. Keep going.
371
00:16:21,183 --> 00:16:23,138
How do you know
the recipe, Shelly?
372
00:16:23,141 --> 00:16:26,248
Meemaw told it to me on
Valentine's Day, 1982.
373
00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:28,110
You were out with Dad
seeing Cannonball Run
374
00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:29,545
at the dollar theater.
375
00:16:29,547 --> 00:16:32,048
That's impossible, you
weren't even two years old.
376
00:16:32,050 --> 00:16:33,849
Three tablespoons of
dried mustard,
377
00:16:33,851 --> 00:16:35,415
one cup of Lone Star beer...
378
00:16:35,418 --> 00:16:37,808
Okay.
379
00:16:37,811 --> 00:16:39,544
Okay.
380
00:16:39,547 --> 00:16:41,247
Go ahead.
381
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,459
Give it to your father.
382
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:45,461
I can write it down for you.
383
00:16:46,898 --> 00:16:48,731
That's okay,
I don't want it.
384
00:16:48,733 --> 00:16:50,923
(QUIETLY) You have
got to be kidding me.
385
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:52,434
Connie, you've had
every opportunity
386
00:16:52,437 --> 00:16:53,936
to give me that recipe
and you never did,
387
00:16:53,938 --> 00:16:55,771
because you've always
treated me like an outsider.
388
00:16:55,773 --> 00:16:56,739
No, she has not.
389
00:16:56,741 --> 00:16:58,040
Oh, of course I have.
390
00:16:58,042 --> 00:16:59,341
See?
She admits it.
391
00:16:59,343 --> 00:17:01,377
- (SIGHS)
- Damn right, I do.
392
00:17:01,379 --> 00:17:04,880
Never thought you were
good enough for my daughter.
393
00:17:04,882 --> 00:17:07,349
There you were, riding around
on that dumb motorcycle,
394
00:17:07,351 --> 00:17:08,417
knocking her up.
395
00:17:08,419 --> 00:17:09,915
Why don't you kids
go in the kitchen
396
00:17:09,918 --> 00:17:11,540
and fix yourselves
some ice cream?
397
00:17:11,543 --> 00:17:13,343
I'm not going anywhere.
398
00:17:15,204 --> 00:17:17,751
Hey.
I get it.
399
00:17:18,596 --> 00:17:19,962
I have a daughter.
400
00:17:19,964 --> 00:17:23,754
I wouldn't want her bringing
home someone like that.
401
00:17:23,757 --> 00:17:26,224
But I've come a hell of
a long way since then.
402
00:17:30,181 --> 00:17:32,341
Okay, you're right.
403
00:17:36,281 --> 00:17:37,914
George.
404
00:17:39,717 --> 00:17:41,251
I'm sorry.
405
00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:46,696
That means more to me
than any recipe.
406
00:17:48,593 --> 00:17:50,559
Come here.
407
00:17:50,561 --> 00:17:52,928
(MEEMAW CHUCKLES)
408
00:17:56,167 --> 00:17:58,814
ADULT SHELDON: Don't let the hug fool you.
409
00:17:58,817 --> 00:18:01,939
The minute she went home,
he made me give him the recipe.
410
00:18:04,357 --> 00:18:07,552
Here we go, maiden voyage.
411
00:18:09,712 --> 00:18:11,879
Mmm, mmm.
412
00:18:11,881 --> 00:18:13,271
Hot damn.
413
00:18:13,956 --> 00:18:15,778
GEORGE SR.: Hot damn.
414
00:18:18,075 --> 00:18:19,586
(GEORGE SR. MOANING)
415
00:18:19,588 --> 00:18:21,422
Hot damn!
416
00:18:21,424 --> 00:18:23,791
MARY: (LAUGHS) George! Language.
417
00:18:23,793 --> 00:18:25,125
Sheldon.
418
00:18:25,127 --> 00:18:26,859
Want some?
419
00:18:26,862 --> 00:18:29,060
Uh, no, thank you.
I'm not hungry.