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Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
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Okay, who wants to help build
the gingerbread house?
3
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We gotta do it fast
4
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'cause last year I ate
the gingerman and lady first
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and they never even got
a chance to move in.
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Uh, yeah. Brick can do it.
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BRICK: I'm trying to eat better.
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Cindy wants me to do a full
push-up by the end of the year.
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- [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
- [SIGHS]
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[SIGHS]
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What happened?
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Glossners.
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They deflated it yesterday, and
now they stabbed a hole in it.
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I won't tell you where.
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Why'd you buy a big,
giant snowman, anyway?
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Eh, there was a cute salesgirl at Lowe's.
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I'm not letting those Glossners win.
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I'm gonna duct-tape
this guy's business back up
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and send him right back out there
onto the front lines again.
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This is my house.
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I'm not gonna let those little
punks call the shots.
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Hmm. Well, at least someone
has a passion for the holiday.
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The kids are just so blah.
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So, we start later in the day.
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- Who cares?
- Don't you get it?
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Now that they're not little
anymore, the magic is gone.
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Remember when they used to
wake us up at 5:00 a.m.
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and jump on our bed?
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I remember you cursing into your pillow.
30
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"Damn it" isn't a real curse.
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You didn't say "damn it." You said...
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The point is, once you made me get up,
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I just loved how they couldn't
wait to open their presents.
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And now all they want are gift cards.
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I remember you cursing about
having to go out and shop...
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The holidays are stressful!
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That doesn't mean you don't like 'em!
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["DECK THE HALLS" PLAYS]
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♪
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Hey, Mike, listen.
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I was thinking, and you know what?
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We can't do a little-kid Christmas,
43
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but we could do a big-kid Christmas.
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We could give Christmas a little zhuzh.
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Do you know what zhuzhing is?
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It's like giving it
a little kick in the pants.
47
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So, let's just take advantage of the fact
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that the kids are older.
49
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We could have a cocktail party
on Christmas Eve...
50
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just us and the Donahues.
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So, instead of serving hot
cocoa, we could do mixed drinks.
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And instead of these crappy ornaments
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that the kids made in school,
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I could hang seashells
and have a beach-themed tree.
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So, it would still be magic,
just adult magic.
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That sounded dirty,
but you know what I mean.
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A-A-And instead of giving out toys,
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we could just do a Yankee Swap
with adult toys...
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not adult toys.
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Toys that adults would like...
that are not sexual.
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Could you move?
I need eyes on the snowman.
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What's a Yankee Swap?
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Oh, it's this really fun party game
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where everybody brings a present,
65
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and then you get to pick one from a pile
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or steal someone else's.
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Why is it called "Yankee Swap"?
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I don't know.
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I'm assuming it has something to
do with the slave trade.
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What? No! They would never name
a party game after that!
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Depends who "they" is.
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It's fun, and we're doing it,
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so everybody has to buy
something Christmasy
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and wrap it up.
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I get to buy my own present
and wrap it up?
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That's what I said.
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By myself, using paper, tape, and...
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scissors?
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Am I allowed to use scissors?
Can I do that?
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Go to town.
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Well, now you've made it interesting.
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♪
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Hey. We're gonna zhuzh up Christmas Eve.
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So, the Donahues are coming over
for a party,
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and then we'll go to
the midnight service.
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Yeah, I'm not doing that.
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What? Oh, come on.
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We're... We're gonna have
appetizers and adult drinks.
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Don't say "no" to fun.
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If you're not careful,
you're gonna turn into your dad.
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No, I'm all for adult drinks.
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I'm just gonna skip the church thing.
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What do you mean?
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I'm just not feeling it lately.
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Feeling what?
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Church, belief, the whole enchilada.
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[CHUCKLING] Oh, wow.
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That's a big enchilada, señor.
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Yeah. Just seems like,
if I'm not feeling it,
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it's kind of hypocritical to go.
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What? No.
102
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Sometimes I don't feel like
going to Curves, and I still go.
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No, you don't.
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But I believe in Curves.
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And I believe, if I went,
it would do me good.
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Probably help you not be so winded
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when you get up from chairs.
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[SIGHS]
109
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H-How long have you been feeling
this way about church?
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A year, maybe two. I mean, it's healthy.
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Aren't you the one that told me
to ask questions
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and think for myself?
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- No.
- Oh.
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Well, I've been traveling the world,
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seen a lot of religions out there.
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I mean, who's to say which one's
the right one?
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Ours is. Ours is the right one.
Let's go to church.
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Mom, this is about me.
It's not your problem.
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It shouldn't bother you
if I don't believe in God.
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♪
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FRANKIE: Flush with the power
of holding scissors,
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Brick set about trying to wrap his gift.
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♪
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Ow!
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♪
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Ow! Ow! Ow.
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Okay, Axl, what are you up to?
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Trying to figure out how
all this plumbing stuff works
129
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so I can sell it for my new job.
130
00:04:28,238 --> 00:04:31,106
Also, this thing,
it's called a ball cock.
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I got to be able to say that
[LAUGHING] without laughing.
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It's gonna take some time.
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I heard you're not going
to church on Christmas.
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What are you trying to pull?
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Nothing. I'm not feeling it,
so I'm not going.
136
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What exactly is it you're not feeling?
137
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Faith? Are you saying
you don't have faith?
138
00:04:45,756 --> 00:04:47,255
I'm saying I'm older now, Sue.
139
00:04:47,324 --> 00:04:48,990
I've traveled the world.
I've seen things.
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I envy your small-town naiveté,
141
00:04:51,428 --> 00:04:54,863
but I cannot shut off my intellect.
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00:04:54,932 --> 00:04:56,698
- Ugh.
- Okay, I just don't understand.
143
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,333
How could you not have faith?
144
00:04:58,402 --> 00:05:01,569
I never don't have faith.
I am filled with faith.
145
00:05:01,672 --> 00:05:04,139
If you cut me open,
I'd be like 80% faith,
146
00:05:04,207 --> 00:05:06,207
20% all the stuff you need to live.
147
00:05:06,310 --> 00:05:07,909
Why? What proof is there?
148
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[SCOFFS] What proof?
Uh, ever hear of miracles?
149
00:05:10,681 --> 00:05:11,446
Like what?
150
00:05:11,548 --> 00:05:12,714
[SCOFFS] Like what?
151
00:05:12,816 --> 00:05:14,649
Uh, like rainbows?
152
00:05:14,751 --> 00:05:17,052
The ability to taste chocolate?
153
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,286
A baby's laugh?
154
00:05:18,388 --> 00:05:19,888
A baby's cry?!
155
00:05:19,990 --> 00:05:21,556
A baby's poop?!
156
00:05:21,581 --> 00:05:23,047
Anything to do with babies, really.
157
00:05:23,193 --> 00:05:24,693
Hmm. What else you got?
158
00:05:24,761 --> 00:05:26,728
Uh, trees, clouds, sun.
159
00:05:26,830 --> 00:05:28,663
Should I go on? Moon! I went on!
160
00:05:28,732 --> 00:05:30,932
Science, science, science.
Should I go on? Science.
161
00:05:31,034 --> 00:05:35,136
Okay, there are plenty of
miracles that happen every day
162
00:05:35,205 --> 00:05:38,006
that can't just be
explained away by science.
163
00:05:38,075 --> 00:05:40,442
And the next time I see one, I
am going to point it out to you,
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and you will have faith coming
out of your God-given eyeballs.
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Scissors. Am I right?
166
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Ooh.
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♪
168
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Ow!
169
00:05:58,595 --> 00:06:00,628
Damn Glossners got to it again.
170
00:06:00,731 --> 00:06:02,430
Who was on watch duty last night?
171
00:06:02,532 --> 00:06:03,598
I made up a whole schedule.
172
00:06:03,700 --> 00:06:05,300
Yeah, nobody's doing that.
173
00:06:05,402 --> 00:06:06,835
We gotta call it on Frosty.
174
00:06:06,860 --> 00:06:08,359
Putting him out there
is a suicide mission.
175
00:06:08,505 --> 00:06:10,205
Might as well just put a target
on his back.
176
00:06:10,273 --> 00:06:13,008
That's never where they get him.
177
00:06:13,110 --> 00:06:15,243
[SIGHS] Those kids are messed up.
178
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:18,179
Oh, shoot. I'm all out of roof.
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00:06:18,281 --> 00:06:19,314
Pace yourself.
180
00:06:19,339 --> 00:06:20,942
You've been hitting that house
a little hard.
181
00:06:21,088 --> 00:06:23,151
I need comfort food.
182
00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:24,719
Our son doesn't want to go to church.
183
00:06:24,821 --> 00:06:26,087
What did we do wrong?
184
00:06:26,156 --> 00:06:27,622
We didn't do anything wrong.
185
00:06:27,724 --> 00:06:29,591
He's older now. He's starting
to think for himself.
186
00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:32,160
What is this "think for himself" crap?
187
00:06:32,262 --> 00:06:33,495
Did you put that in his head?
188
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:35,630
You're spitting gingerman.
189
00:06:35,732 --> 00:06:36,998
You're the one that was always saying,
190
00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:38,666
"We gotta bring the hammer down."
191
00:06:38,769 --> 00:06:40,402
Well, now it's time for you
to bring the hammer down
192
00:06:40,427 --> 00:06:41,826
and bring it down hard.
193
00:06:42,005 --> 00:06:43,972
He's an adult. You can't tell
an adult what to do.
194
00:06:44,074 --> 00:06:45,206
[SCOFFS] Like hell I can't.
195
00:06:45,231 --> 00:06:46,785
I'm telling you what to do right now.
196
00:06:46,810 --> 00:06:48,676
I want you to bring that hammer down.
197
00:06:48,779 --> 00:06:50,979
Yeah. That's right. I'm looking at you.
198
00:06:51,081 --> 00:06:52,781
I don't care how tall you are.
You don't scare me.
199
00:06:52,806 --> 00:06:55,406
You're gonna do what I say
and get your boy to church.
200
00:06:55,585 --> 00:06:57,085
Frankie, who am I to force him?
201
00:06:57,187 --> 00:06:58,353
I don't even know how much I believe.
202
00:06:58,378 --> 00:07:00,487
I basically just go for you.
203
00:07:01,825 --> 00:07:03,224
♪
204
00:07:06,546 --> 00:07:09,414
["THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS" PLAYS]
205
00:07:09,482 --> 00:07:10,815
What am I looking at?
206
00:07:10,917 --> 00:07:12,417
A miracle.
207
00:07:12,418 --> 00:07:16,154
There is no scientific reason
why a plant would be growing
208
00:07:16,222 --> 00:07:18,022
from the laundry-room floor.
209
00:07:18,091 --> 00:07:20,258
Yes, there is... Mom doesn't clean.
210
00:07:20,326 --> 00:07:22,326
Now, if she cleaned,
that would be a miracle.
211
00:07:22,428 --> 00:07:23,361
Come get me when that happens.
212
00:07:23,463 --> 00:07:24,362
Wha...
213
00:07:24,430 --> 00:07:26,030
[SIGHS]
214
00:07:26,132 --> 00:07:27,231
Hey, you.
215
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:28,599
[GROANS]
216
00:07:28,701 --> 00:07:31,068
Mom, I am not in the mood
for a guilt trip about church.
217
00:07:31,171 --> 00:07:33,204
No, no, no. I just wanted
to hear about your job.
218
00:07:33,306 --> 00:07:34,305
Oh.
219
00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:37,030
Well, I start officially
after the holidays.
220
00:07:37,055 --> 00:07:39,155
I'm about halfway through
the plumbing manual.
221
00:07:39,312 --> 00:07:41,245
Ironically, it's good bathroom reading.
222
00:07:41,314 --> 00:07:42,847
Or is that the opposite of ironically?
223
00:07:42,916 --> 00:07:44,615
Doesn't matter.
Don't need grammar for plumbing.
224
00:07:44,717 --> 00:07:46,851
Hmm. Think about it, Axl.
225
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,954
Of all the people trying
for this job, you got it.
226
00:07:50,023 --> 00:07:52,256
Something to be thankful for...
like a blessing.
227
00:07:52,325 --> 00:07:54,058
- SUE: Or a miracle!
- I got this, Sue!
228
00:07:54,127 --> 00:07:55,793
I knew you couldn't help yourself.
229
00:07:55,895 --> 00:07:56,861
[SIGHS] I'm sorry.
230
00:07:56,930 --> 00:07:58,596
I just don't know why
you don't want to go.
231
00:07:58,698 --> 00:08:00,498
Well, why do you want to go?
232
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,633
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't turn this around on me.
233
00:08:02,702 --> 00:08:03,935
I'm not the one on trial here.
234
00:08:04,003 --> 00:08:06,037
- Oh, so I'm on trial?
- Nobody said you're on trial.
235
00:08:06,105 --> 00:08:07,738
You just said you're not
the one on trial,
236
00:08:07,763 --> 00:08:09,562
so that makes me the one who is on trial.
237
00:08:09,676 --> 00:08:11,742
Well, if one person wants to go
to church and the other doesn't,
238
00:08:11,845 --> 00:08:14,212
you can bet your bippy that
the one who doesn't is on trial.
239
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:16,280
That's just the way it works.
I don't make the rules.
240
00:08:16,305 --> 00:08:17,805
Why can't you just have a normal,
241
00:08:17,951 --> 00:08:19,684
healthy dialogue about this?
242
00:08:19,752 --> 00:08:22,153
I mean, come on. Why do you go to church?
243
00:08:22,222 --> 00:08:23,554
A million reasons.
244
00:08:23,656 --> 00:08:24,822
I'm asking for one.
245
00:08:24,924 --> 00:08:27,525
Uh [SCOFFS] 'cause I'm supposed to. Duh!
246
00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,427
Yeah. You're supposed to go to
Curves, but you don't do that.
247
00:08:29,529 --> 00:08:32,163
Stop using my Curves example against me.
248
00:08:32,232 --> 00:08:35,499
Um, okay, I also go
'cause church is social,
249
00:08:35,524 --> 00:08:37,123
and I get to see my friends.
250
00:08:37,209 --> 00:08:39,777
What else? Uh, there's doughnuts after.
251
00:08:39,906 --> 00:08:41,338
I get to dress up.
252
00:08:41,474 --> 00:08:43,140
I already said you're supposed to, right?
253
00:08:43,243 --> 00:08:44,675
Singing! I get to sing.
254
00:08:44,777 --> 00:08:47,745
Mm. Yeah, I mean, these are all
surfacy reasons.
255
00:08:47,814 --> 00:08:50,081
Come on. What's the real,
deep-down reason
256
00:08:50,183 --> 00:08:51,315
you go to church?
257
00:08:52,852 --> 00:08:55,786
♪
258
00:08:55,855 --> 00:08:58,756
Mike was running out of
patience... and duct tape.
259
00:08:58,825 --> 00:09:02,400
But he was gonna do whatever
it took to beat the Glossners.
260
00:09:04,030 --> 00:09:06,063
[SNORING]
261
00:09:06,165 --> 00:09:11,035
♪
262
00:09:11,137 --> 00:09:12,904
[SHIVERING]
263
00:09:19,212 --> 00:09:20,244
What's happening?
264
00:09:20,346 --> 00:09:23,014
[MOANING, SHIVERING]
265
00:09:23,039 --> 00:09:24,138
Oh, my God! You're freezing!
266
00:09:24,317 --> 00:09:26,384
Shh. Warm me up. Oh, get away from me!
267
00:09:26,486 --> 00:09:28,352
[SHIVERS] Just let me put
my hands between your thighs.
268
00:09:28,421 --> 00:09:30,221
I'm not interested in anything.
I promise.
269
00:09:30,290 --> 00:09:33,124
I finally fell asleep after
my head was spinning over Axl,
270
00:09:33,192 --> 00:09:34,892
and now I'm awake. Thanks a lot.
271
00:09:34,994 --> 00:09:36,394
They got us again, Frankie.
272
00:09:36,462 --> 00:09:38,062
Oh, my God. I could not even come up
273
00:09:38,164 --> 00:09:39,931
with a good reason why I go to church.
274
00:09:39,999 --> 00:09:42,166
I mean, who am I? Is my whole life a lie?
275
00:09:42,268 --> 00:09:43,167
Just keep talking about it.
276
00:09:43,236 --> 00:09:44,669
Don't... No, don't mock me now, Mike.
277
00:09:44,771 --> 00:09:46,604
I'm very upset.
I have to talk about this.
278
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,139
No, I want you to. Your breath is hot.
279
00:09:48,207 --> 00:09:49,807
- It feels good.
- No, you don't understand.
280
00:09:49,876 --> 00:09:51,008
I'm the mother.
281
00:09:51,110 --> 00:09:53,678
I'm supposed to be the
spiritual center of the home.
282
00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:55,646
Like, while you're out
hunting and gathering,
283
00:09:55,715 --> 00:09:57,214
I'm supposed to make them righteous.
284
00:09:57,283 --> 00:09:58,916
They're not righteous.
285
00:09:58,985 --> 00:10:01,552
"Teach your children well."
That's from Corinthians.
286
00:10:01,621 --> 00:10:03,033
That's Crosby, Stills & Nash.
287
00:10:03,101 --> 00:10:05,323
Why does it feel like
there's sand in the bed?
288
00:10:05,391 --> 00:10:06,958
It's gingerbread window crumbs.
289
00:10:07,060 --> 00:10:08,225
No, this whole time
290
00:10:08,294 --> 00:10:10,461
when I'm supposed to be caring
about their spirituality,
291
00:10:10,530 --> 00:10:12,630
all I ever prayed for was
for the girl I liked the most
292
00:10:12,732 --> 00:10:14,065
to be picked on "The Bachelor,"
293
00:10:14,167 --> 00:10:16,434
which is a terrible waste of prayer.
294
00:10:16,536 --> 00:10:18,536
By the time it airs,
he's already picked her.
295
00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:21,572
You tell me you have faith, right?
296
00:10:21,674 --> 00:10:22,940
You're a person who believes?
297
00:10:23,042 --> 00:10:24,442
- Yes.
- Okay.
298
00:10:24,467 --> 00:10:28,068
Then... you should believe that
whatever happens
299
00:10:28,247 --> 00:10:31,382
is maybe the way God wants it
to work out.
300
00:10:33,987 --> 00:10:36,454
[SIGHS] You're right.
301
00:10:36,556 --> 00:10:37,855
You're right.
302
00:10:37,924 --> 00:10:40,257
I mean, at a certain point,
it's out of my hands,
303
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,693
and... and all I can do
is have faith that
304
00:10:42,762 --> 00:10:45,128
when we go to church tomorrow night...
305
00:10:46,032 --> 00:10:47,365
Axl will be with us.
306
00:10:47,390 --> 00:10:48,689
[SIGHS]
307
00:10:48,868 --> 00:10:50,601
Thanks. That helps.
308
00:10:50,703 --> 00:10:52,203
You're welcome.
309
00:10:52,305 --> 00:10:54,605
Now I need you to help me.
310
00:10:54,707 --> 00:10:56,874
I'm gonna put my feet on your feet.
311
00:10:56,899 --> 00:10:58,766
It's gonna be bad for about 10 seconds,
312
00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:00,591
but then you're gonna
start to breathe again,
313
00:11:00,847 --> 00:11:03,214
and everything's gonna be fine.
314
00:11:03,316 --> 00:11:04,482
Just have faith.
315
00:11:04,584 --> 00:11:06,450
♪
316
00:11:07,726 --> 00:11:09,192
After a fifth attack on the snowman,
317
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,594
Mike finally found a spot
where the Glossners
318
00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:13,851
couldn't get it... just in time
for the Christmas party.
319
00:11:13,905 --> 00:11:15,105
Sue, the Donahues are here.
320
00:11:15,173 --> 00:11:16,573
You need to bring out
your Yankee Swap gift.
321
00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:17,574
Okay.
322
00:11:17,676 --> 00:11:19,776
[GASPS] Oh, no!
323
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,644
Ohh, I stopped by the apartment yesterday
324
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,780
after I bought my gift...
I must have left it there.
325
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:25,882
Well, you need to find
something that's Christmasy.
326
00:11:25,951 --> 00:11:27,801
Oh! How about the snow globe?
327
00:11:27,903 --> 00:11:29,652
My snow globe?
328
00:11:30,062 --> 00:11:31,528
You found it in the trash, Sue.
329
00:11:31,597 --> 00:11:32,696
I like to think it found me.
330
00:11:32,765 --> 00:11:34,031
Okay, well, whatever, but ticktock.
331
00:11:34,056 --> 00:11:35,388
We're starting.
332
00:11:35,501 --> 00:11:38,802
♪ ...that was so deep ♪
333
00:11:38,871 --> 00:11:39,770
[LAUGHTER]
334
00:11:39,872 --> 00:11:40,938
- Whoo!
- Hi, Sue.
335
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,207
Merry Christmas.
336
00:11:43,309 --> 00:11:45,042
Okay. Okay, okay, okay. We drew numbers.
337
00:11:45,144 --> 00:11:46,176
You're 5. Sean's about to pick.
338
00:11:46,278 --> 00:11:47,177
- He's number one.
- Ooh!
339
00:11:47,246 --> 00:11:48,178
Uh, yeah, he is.
340
00:11:48,247 --> 00:11:50,714
Number-one son/ almost-doctor.
341
00:11:50,816 --> 00:11:52,049
- [LAUGHTER]
- Whoo!
342
00:11:52,151 --> 00:11:53,917
Who should I see about a martini refill?
343
00:11:54,019 --> 00:11:55,986
- Ooh!
- [LAUGHTER]
344
00:11:56,055 --> 00:11:58,122
Hmm, which one will it be?
345
00:11:58,224 --> 00:12:03,627
♪
346
00:12:03,729 --> 00:12:05,329
Oh!
347
00:12:05,431 --> 00:12:06,397
Really?
348
00:12:06,465 --> 00:12:08,532
Did you not see this bad boy right here?
349
00:12:08,634 --> 00:12:10,100
Oh.
350
00:12:10,169 --> 00:12:11,101
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yum!
351
00:12:11,170 --> 00:12:12,403
I made those.
352
00:12:12,471 --> 00:12:14,938
They're full of gluten
and sugar and dairy and nuts.
353
00:12:15,007 --> 00:12:16,407
I'm taking back dessert!
354
00:12:16,509 --> 00:12:18,108
- Ooh!
- [LAUGHTER]
355
00:12:18,133 --> 00:12:19,599
Okay, Sean, now whoever goes next
356
00:12:19,779 --> 00:12:21,578
can either pick a new gift from the table
357
00:12:21,647 --> 00:12:23,147
or snag yours.
358
00:12:23,215 --> 00:12:24,181
Who's second?
359
00:12:24,206 --> 00:12:26,073
That'd be me, and these be mine.
360
00:12:26,252 --> 00:12:27,918
- [ALL CHEER]
- Our first steal!
361
00:12:28,020 --> 00:12:29,420
- Ooh!
- And it's mine! It's mine!
362
00:12:29,522 --> 00:12:32,222
I'm sorry. Are the rules
to not pick the nicest one?
363
00:12:32,247 --> 00:12:33,680
This is so much fun!
364
00:12:33,859 --> 00:12:36,193
Oh, gosh. Yankee Swap, going to church.
365
00:12:36,262 --> 00:12:38,595
It's almost like
if you missed any one of them,
366
00:12:38,697 --> 00:12:39,930
it wouldn't be Christmas.
367
00:12:40,032 --> 00:12:41,498
[CHUCKLES] Okay, Sean, pick again.
368
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,133
All right. [CLEARS THROAT]
369
00:12:43,235 --> 00:12:44,134
Which one you gonna get?
370
00:12:44,203 --> 00:12:45,269
- Hmm...
- [CHUCKLES]
371
00:12:45,371 --> 00:12:47,504
Ooh, that one's pretty.
372
00:12:49,508 --> 00:12:50,974
- [LAUGHS]
- Wow.
373
00:12:51,043 --> 00:12:53,477
Must be the old
pretty-girl-at-the-prom syndrome
374
00:12:53,546 --> 00:12:54,812
that I've read about.
375
00:12:54,914 --> 00:12:56,426
I'll never be at prom.
376
00:12:57,616 --> 00:12:58,549
All-in-one tool.
377
00:12:58,651 --> 00:13:00,083
Oh! Who bought that?
378
00:13:00,186 --> 00:13:01,084
I did.
379
00:13:01,187 --> 00:13:02,419
It's supposed to be Christmasy.
380
00:13:02,521 --> 00:13:03,554
It's red.
381
00:13:03,656 --> 00:13:05,055
- I like it.
- Yeah!
382
00:13:05,124 --> 00:13:06,723
And I'm number three, so...
383
00:13:06,826 --> 00:13:08,058
[LAUGHTER]
384
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,660
I'm in upside-down land.
385
00:13:09,762 --> 00:13:10,894
Things are getting exciting!
386
00:13:10,996 --> 00:13:11,895
Are they?
387
00:13:11,997 --> 00:13:14,531
Oh. Me again. [CHUCKLES]
388
00:13:14,633 --> 00:13:16,700
Um...
389
00:13:16,802 --> 00:13:18,035
Ooh! Oh! Yay!
390
00:13:18,137 --> 00:13:19,236
Oh, that one's mine!
391
00:13:19,338 --> 00:13:20,270
I think you'll like it.
392
00:13:20,339 --> 00:13:21,505
It's really special to me.
393
00:13:21,607 --> 00:13:23,240
I'll tell you the whole story
after you open it.
394
00:13:23,342 --> 00:13:24,608
All right.
395
00:13:24,677 --> 00:13:25,576
[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
396
00:13:25,678 --> 00:13:26,710
Oh.
397
00:13:28,581 --> 00:13:30,914
Um... I'm sorry, everybody.
398
00:13:31,016 --> 00:13:33,050
I will be right back.
399
00:13:33,152 --> 00:13:34,852
- Hmm.
- Doctor stuff.
400
00:13:34,954 --> 00:13:36,799
Hmm. [CHUCKLES]
401
00:13:37,690 --> 00:13:38,589
[THUD]
402
00:13:38,691 --> 00:13:39,823
What was that?
403
00:13:39,925 --> 00:13:40,958
I don't know.
404
00:13:41,060 --> 00:13:42,626
[FOOTSTEPS ON ROOF]
405
00:13:42,728 --> 00:13:45,028
- Glossners.
- I hate those kids!
406
00:13:45,130 --> 00:13:46,897
You should see what they did
to my Mrs. Claus.
407
00:13:46,999 --> 00:13:48,165
I'll get the front. You get the back.
408
00:13:48,267 --> 00:13:50,000
That's what they did to Mrs. Claus!
409
00:13:50,102 --> 00:13:52,736
♪
410
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,813
♪
411
00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:58,252
I-I don't know where Sean went off to.
412
00:13:58,321 --> 00:14:00,121
It's not like him to be rude.
413
00:14:00,223 --> 00:14:01,288
I'll go find him.
414
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:04,892
I'm next. Should I just pick?
415
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:08,396
I don't know. We're kind of in
a Yankee Swap holding pattern.
416
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,664
Isn't there a rule that
if someone doesn't open theirs,
417
00:14:10,733 --> 00:14:12,700
we just move on to the most
meticulously wrapped one
418
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:13,968
on the table?
419
00:14:14,037 --> 00:14:15,369
I'll open Sean's for him.
420
00:14:15,471 --> 00:14:16,404
He won't care.
421
00:14:16,506 --> 00:14:19,373
Okay. Here we go.
422
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:20,641
- All right.
- Let's see what it is.
423
00:14:20,743 --> 00:14:22,576
What is it?
424
00:14:22,678 --> 00:14:23,778
[GASPS] Ooh!
425
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:25,713
Aww, the snow globe.
426
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,481
Okay, Shelly, do you want Sean's,
427
00:14:27,550 --> 00:14:28,961
or do you want to pick a new one
from the table?
428
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:30,818
I'll take the snow globe.
429
00:14:30,887 --> 00:14:31,886
- Okay!
- I knew it.
430
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,554
[CHUCKLES]
431
00:14:33,656 --> 00:14:35,022
Here you go, sweetie.
432
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:36,624
[CHUCKLES]
433
00:14:36,726 --> 00:14:41,362
♪
434
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,798
Hey, Sean. Are you okay?
435
00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:45,900
Everybody's waiting for you.
436
00:14:46,002 --> 00:14:47,161
What?
437
00:14:47,770 --> 00:14:49,414
Oh, I, uh...
438
00:14:50,073 --> 00:14:52,807
I just got a text from a buddy,
said grades were posted,
439
00:14:52,832 --> 00:14:56,379
and I checked them,
and I didn't do so well.
440
00:14:57,447 --> 00:14:58,579
Oh!
441
00:14:58,648 --> 00:14:59,980
Oh, gosh. I'm sorry.
442
00:15:00,049 --> 00:15:02,883
But it's probably not as bad
as you think it is.
443
00:15:02,952 --> 00:15:06,472
Sue, I got three B's and two...
444
00:15:07,423 --> 00:15:09,457
two of those things that come after "B."
445
00:15:09,525 --> 00:15:11,325
Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]
446
00:15:11,394 --> 00:15:13,561
[SIGHS] Okay, look.
447
00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:16,297
I know this has gotta be
really hard for you,
448
00:15:16,399 --> 00:15:18,099
but don't worry.
449
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,501
Axl got lots of C's,
450
00:15:20,570 --> 00:15:24,672
and he just got a job
selling plumbing supplies.
451
00:15:24,774 --> 00:15:26,507
[SIGHS]
452
00:15:26,576 --> 00:15:29,410
[GRUNTING] I'm gonna get you!
453
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,245
Thanks, Mike.
454
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,614
[BREATHING HEAVILY] I'm
not... at my physical best.
455
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:35,316
They tell me I got hit
by a car last week.
456
00:15:35,418 --> 00:15:36,784
Let go of me!
457
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,853
Where's the snowman?
Somebody took it off the roof.
458
00:15:38,955 --> 00:15:41,122
- None of your damn business!
- Hey, you little jerk!
459
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,590
I saw what you did to Mrs. Claus,
460
00:15:42,615 --> 00:15:43,514
and I can't unsee it.
461
00:15:43,626 --> 00:15:44,792
Do you respect nothing?!
462
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:47,394
You tell him, Mike.
I'm about to throw up Bwine.
463
00:15:47,463 --> 00:15:49,096
[SIGHS] Look, you want to know why
464
00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:50,664
I kept putting the snowman
back out there?
465
00:15:50,733 --> 00:15:53,234
It's not because I need
a snowman in my front yard.
466
00:15:53,302 --> 00:15:54,235
I'm not that guy.
467
00:15:54,303 --> 00:15:56,170
It's 'cause I thought, at some point,
468
00:15:56,195 --> 00:15:58,628
you would realize that what
you were doing was not right,
469
00:15:58,741 --> 00:15:59,984
but you never did.
470
00:16:00,676 --> 00:16:02,443
Look, you're not in diapers anymore.
471
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:04,211
Okay, scratch that.
472
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,779
The point is, you've gotta figure out
473
00:16:05,804 --> 00:16:07,204
what kind of man you're gonna be.
474
00:16:07,825 --> 00:16:09,483
[SIGHS] Sorry.
475
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:12,038
I just never had no daddy
to tell me right from wrong.
476
00:16:12,755 --> 00:16:14,457
I thought maybe you could tell me.
477
00:16:14,991 --> 00:16:16,724
Well, you can blame
your parents all you want,
478
00:16:16,826 --> 00:16:18,559
but at some point, it's on you.
479
00:16:18,628 --> 00:16:20,227
But you didn't let me finish.
480
00:16:20,296 --> 00:16:22,897
I thought maybe you can tell me,
but you can't...
481
00:16:22,999 --> 00:16:24,398
'cause you're a woman!
482
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,268
Should we go after him?
483
00:16:27,370 --> 00:16:28,846
No point.
484
00:16:29,772 --> 00:16:32,769
But for a kid carrying
a full load, he sure can run.
485
00:16:32,871 --> 00:16:34,975
[SIGHS]
486
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:36,644
Great party, Frankie.
487
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,812
I'm sorry we didn't get to
finish the Yankee Swap,
488
00:16:38,881 --> 00:16:40,281
but we don't want to be late for church.
489
00:16:40,383 --> 00:16:42,082
It's my favorite part of Christmas.
490
00:16:42,185 --> 00:16:44,385
The whole family sitting
together in the pew.
491
00:16:44,487 --> 00:16:46,053
Yeah, us too!
492
00:16:46,155 --> 00:16:47,521
SHELLY: I really like the snow globe.
493
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:49,790
I want to give it to my friend Juliette.
494
00:16:49,892 --> 00:16:50,958
She said some mean things to me,
495
00:16:51,060 --> 00:16:52,660
and I want to turn the other cheek.
496
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:55,229
Aww. That's my sweet angel.
497
00:16:55,331 --> 00:16:57,097
[CHUCKLES]
498
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,568
Ron! Warm up the car!
499
00:17:00,670 --> 00:17:02,570
We're leaving!
500
00:17:02,672 --> 00:17:04,138
[SIGHS]
501
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:11,478
♪
502
00:17:11,581 --> 00:17:13,914
Oh, Brick.
503
00:17:13,983 --> 00:17:15,616
I'm actually happy nobody picked it.
504
00:17:15,718 --> 00:17:17,718
They'd just rip it apart
like a Philistine.
505
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,320
I'm gonna keep it just like this,
506
00:17:19,422 --> 00:17:21,188
put it up on my shelf,
and admire it forever.
507
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,990
- Mm.
- [RINGTONE PLAYING]
508
00:17:23,568 --> 00:17:24,758
Is that your phone?
509
00:17:24,827 --> 00:17:25,759
I hate this game.
510
00:17:25,828 --> 00:17:28,229
♪
511
00:17:28,331 --> 00:17:29,763
[GUITAR PLAYING]
512
00:17:29,832 --> 00:17:32,566
Okay. So, uh, we're going to church.
513
00:17:32,745 --> 00:17:33,744
Okay.
514
00:17:33,769 --> 00:17:35,035
Okay.
515
00:17:35,104 --> 00:17:38,739
[PLAYING RESUMES]
516
00:17:38,885 --> 00:17:39,998
Ma!
517
00:17:40,023 --> 00:17:41,041
No. I'm not.
518
00:17:41,110 --> 00:17:43,310
I'm not gonna get on your case anymore.
519
00:17:43,412 --> 00:17:46,247
[SIGHS] Look. I get it. You know?
520
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,582
I-I didn't want to go to church
when I was your age, either.
521
00:17:48,684 --> 00:17:50,784
It can be boring. It can be super boring.
522
00:17:50,886 --> 00:17:53,153
I mean, half the time,
I don't even want to go now.
523
00:17:53,764 --> 00:17:58,692
But, um, you asked me why I go,
524
00:17:58,794 --> 00:18:02,329
and, you know, I don't know.
525
00:18:02,431 --> 00:18:04,698
Why the hell do I go?
526
00:18:04,767 --> 00:18:09,169
I mean, I guess I go
because it makes me feel better
527
00:18:09,194 --> 00:18:11,594
when everything goes to crap around here.
528
00:18:11,741 --> 00:18:15,376
You know, when the sink explodes
or the dishwasher explodes
529
00:18:15,444 --> 00:18:17,645
or fill-in-the-blank explodes.
530
00:18:19,115 --> 00:18:23,044
God has certainly given us a lot
of opportunity to seek him out.
531
00:18:23,697 --> 00:18:26,297
And, you know, if someone wants
to lighten the load
532
00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:29,390
on my shoulders, then I am all for it.
533
00:18:29,458 --> 00:18:32,092
It's just nice to know
that somebody's got my back,
534
00:18:32,161 --> 00:18:34,662
and, um, I don't know,
535
00:18:34,764 --> 00:18:40,811
just to feel like I'm part of
something bigger than this.
536
00:18:41,237 --> 00:18:44,146
Yeah. So, I guess
that's a good reason to go.
537
00:18:44,766 --> 00:18:46,473
It's good to know I don't go
just for the doughnuts.
538
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:48,375
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
539
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,311
Anyway...
540
00:18:53,484 --> 00:18:54,692
What's happening?
541
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:55,949
Don't ask questions.
542
00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,418
Let's just go.
543
00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,920
What? Really?
544
00:19:00,022 --> 00:19:02,523
Are you gonna wear that?
Never mind! It's all good!
545
00:19:02,625 --> 00:19:03,924
Donahues don't do this.
546
00:19:04,026 --> 00:19:05,459
I've always been at the top of my class.
547
00:19:05,484 --> 00:19:06,916
Maybe I shouldn't be a doctor.
548
00:19:07,029 --> 00:19:09,029
I just... T-The whole semester's
been a struggle.
549
00:19:09,098 --> 00:19:11,432
Well, yeah, of course it is.
It's supposed to be.
550
00:19:11,534 --> 00:19:13,801
It's medical school. It's hard.
551
00:19:13,869 --> 00:19:15,769
I wouldn't want a doctor
who went to an easy one.
552
00:19:15,794 --> 00:19:17,327
But I got C's.
553
00:19:17,506 --> 00:19:21,435
It's so... average.
554
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,744
I've never been in the middle
of the pack before.
555
00:19:23,813 --> 00:19:27,481
Oh, well, I am all about
the middle of the pack.
556
00:19:27,550 --> 00:19:29,983
It happens to be my area of expertise.
557
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,238
Okay, and here's what I have learned...
558
00:19:32,655 --> 00:19:36,023
You cannot compare yourself
to anybody else.
559
00:19:36,325 --> 00:19:38,992
You are your own unique you.
560
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,394
Everyone has their own path.
561
00:19:40,496 --> 00:19:41,962
Yeah, but...
562
00:19:43,666 --> 00:19:45,167
Okay, look.
563
00:19:45,668 --> 00:19:49,336
You once told me
I was a very special snowflake.
564
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,205
But you know what? So are you.
565
00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:54,675
There is no one else like you.
566
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:57,701
You are gonna be so great.
567
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,613
And not because you're a Donahue,
568
00:19:59,715 --> 00:20:01,181
because you're you.
569
00:20:07,556 --> 00:20:15,662
♪
570
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:23,971
♪
571
00:20:24,073 --> 00:20:26,273
["WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS" PLAYS]
572
00:20:26,375 --> 00:20:34,148
♪
573
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:36,049
Yep. Sue was right.
574
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:38,485
Miracles happen every day.
575
00:20:38,510 --> 00:20:47,384
♪
576
00:20:48,185 --> 00:20:55,732
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