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_
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It's alive!
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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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Shame! Shame!
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Shame! Shame!
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Excellent.
So, you're not going to talk.
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Then how about a dip
in my lava Jacuzzi?
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Megatron,
you're sure this is a Maximal
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in disguise and not
just a plain, old panda?
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Of course, Scorponok.
Look at his smug face.
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I'm just asking 'cause these
little guys are endangered,
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and, well, pretty adorbs.
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Yes, I'm ...
I'm not a monster.
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I wouldn't murder a real panda.
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You're loving this, aren't you?
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- Eat hot lava, Maximal!
- Aah, no!
17
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Sir! He's so helpless and so cute!
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- Cute!
- Ohh, he's such a little baby!
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Oh, my God, did you see that?!
20
00:01:17,887 --> 00:01:19,855
Wow, I was really ready to do it.
21
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- I mean... who am I anymore?
- It's the war.
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Been out here too long, Megatron.
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Yes. I may have PTSD,
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but that is a [bleep] Maximal.
25
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Holy shit, that was close.
26
00:01:33,668 --> 00:01:34,802
Oh, phew!
27
00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:37,106
Shit, that's the deepest
character work I've ever done.
28
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Oh, my God, I almost [bleep] died!
29
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♪ Hello, mama, what's cookin'
on the stove today? ♪
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Oh, my baby's home
for Thanksgiving.
31
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Michigan, say hello to your cousin.
32
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- Oh, hello, Pepe.
- How about that election, huh?
33
00:02:04,399 --> 00:02:06,235
Bet you Hollywood
types aren't happy.
34
00:02:06,268 --> 00:02:08,103
Hollywood types?
Educated types?
35
00:02:08,137 --> 00:02:09,603
Folks-with-all-their-teeth
types?
36
00:02:09,604 --> 00:02:12,573
- Literally-the-whole-planet types?!
- Now, boys!
37
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Ohh, I'm sowwy.
Feels bad, man.
38
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Does the special snowflake
need his blankie?
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Could you salt these potatoes
with your liberal tears?
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Ohh!
Get my mother's potatoes
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out of your Nazi [bleep] mouth!
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I'm not a Nazi, Michigan.
I'm just scared of the future.
43
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Guys like me are
getting left behind.
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I know you're not
a bad dude, Pepe.
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You used to be a fun,
hilarious guy
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until you were co-opted
by those
47
00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:42,504
Alt-Right shit buckets for
their own nefarious purposes.
48
00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:45,074
They took something
pure and perverted it.
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00:02:45,107 --> 00:02:49,244
They owe your creator ... I mean,
your dad ... a big apology.
50
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Frogs, you've been bailed out.
51
00:02:50,980 --> 00:02:53,115
- By who?
- By future generations.
52
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They'll be cleaning up
the Dumpster fire
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your generation
started for decades.
54
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Nah, I'm playing.
This old lady bailed you out.
55
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,959
Come home
for pumpkin pie, boys!
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00:03:03,993 --> 00:03:06,461
This has been the best
Thanksgiving ever!
57
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And maybe this president
won't be so bad!
58
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I hate children!
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00:03:19,044 --> 00:03:21,881
Ever since Monster Mountain
was shrunk down and sent here,
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we've been too tiny
and pocket-sized to scare them!
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That good, concise summary
of things we already knew, rah!
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Boo!
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Screams make us bigger.
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If we scare people,
we'll return to full size.
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And then we will be unstoppable!
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- The world will be ours!
- Rah!
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You not need hold our hands.
We get it, rah.
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Look, the evil monsters got
bigger when the child screamed.
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But we're good monsters and
don't want to make kids scream.
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Let's make them scream
with laughter, man.
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00:03:52,377 --> 00:03:54,446
What? Talking bugs?
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00:03:54,479 --> 00:03:57,049
Oh, man, I'm so wasted.
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Uh, uh, we'll get bigger
every time you laugh.
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Okay, make me laugh, bugs.
75
00:04:02,021 --> 00:04:04,356
Why do golfers bring
two pair of pants, man?
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In case they get a hole in one.
77
00:04:07,659 --> 00:04:10,896
Cool. I think I hear
my weed calling, so...
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00:04:10,930 --> 00:04:12,564
- I'm-a go...
- Wait. Got to read the room.
79
00:04:12,597 --> 00:04:15,267
Um, a guy's buying condoms.
80
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:17,202
Cashier says,
"You want a bag?"
81
00:04:17,236 --> 00:04:19,038
The guy says, "No, thanks.
She's not that ugly."
82
00:04:19,071 --> 00:04:22,207
- Ha, ha, ha!
- But, look, we're growing.
83
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What's the difference between
a hooker and a drug dealer?
84
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A hooker can wash her crack
and sell it again.
85
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I don't get it, man.
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00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:34,519
Sorry, villains.
Joy will defeat fear every time.
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00:04:34,553 --> 00:04:36,120
Say, man, where'd the mummy go?
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00:04:36,121 --> 00:04:39,091
Hmm, "Following my dreams."
Signed, "Mummy"?
89
00:04:39,124 --> 00:04:41,994
We've got a great show
tonight, okay?
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Fetty Wap is here, okay?
Stick around.
91
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:50,604
Pizza, pizza.
Aww!
92
00:04:50,605 --> 00:04:53,142
Et tu, Brute, Brute?
93
00:04:53,175 --> 00:04:55,544
I'd build you a shield,
but I'm too hungry.
94
00:04:55,577 --> 00:04:58,113
My favorite food is three apples.
95
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If I had two more apples,
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I'd have the strength
to build a shield.
97
00:05:02,417 --> 00:05:05,220
I can't use this.
I can't use this.
98
00:05:05,254 --> 00:05:08,123
Wait, what is this?
What are you showing me?
99
00:05:08,157 --> 00:05:10,359
There's a world beyond this room?
100
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It's so big.
I had no idea.
101
00:05:14,563 --> 00:05:16,598
I love making potions.
102
00:05:16,631 --> 00:05:18,968
I just wish I had
enough spring water.
103
00:05:19,001 --> 00:05:22,471
Okay.
I love making potions!
104
00:05:22,504 --> 00:05:24,539
- I just wish ...
- Get away from me, man!
105
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- I love making ...
- I said get away!
106
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Miss, Miss, I need help.
107
00:05:27,576 --> 00:05:30,245
Do you know where I left my hat?
108
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I think I saw it over by the tree.
109
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- No!
- I need 10 fish scales
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- to build a chain mail.
- Would you like to save your game?
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We're slaves!
Wake up, people!
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I need four coins to wake up.
113
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You've cursed me
with this knowledge,
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this unattainable promise of more!
115
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I want things to go back
to how they were.
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Thank you!
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Yum!
Now I can build you a shield.
118
00:05:55,170 --> 00:05:58,273
No! No!
Apples and shields.
119
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That's all there is!
Apples and shields!
120
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They're called Creepy Crawlers.
121
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You squirt the liquid
into these molds,
122
00:06:04,787 --> 00:06:07,256
then stick them in this
heater at 390 degrees.
123
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When the kids pull them out,
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they get icky, sticky,
weird creatures.
125
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What kind of dumbass would
buy this crap for their kid?
126
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Oh, hush, dear. I'll fill the
molds, and you can bake them.
127
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I'm not getting any younger here.
128
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Where is my husband?!
129
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No, no!
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Nobody died. Approved!
Martini time!
131
00:06:38,821 --> 00:06:40,455
I'm not racist, but...
132
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This is for bachelor number three.
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I think a man's voice
is his sexiest attribute.
134
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Uh...
135
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My name is Professor
Wile E. Coyote.
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00:06:55,174 --> 00:06:58,310
Welcome to Criminology 101,
or as I like to call it,
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"How to Get Away With Murder."
138
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I present to you now
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00:07:01,431 --> 00:07:04,717
the most diabolical and
un-solvable murder of all time,
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clearly perpetrated
by a super-genius.
141
00:07:07,687 --> 00:07:11,757
The victim, a Mr. Road Runner,
Accelerati incredibilus.
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His remains were found here
in a shallow grave.
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Nearby, receipts from
the ACME Corporation
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stained with the Road Runner's blood.
145
00:07:18,864 --> 00:07:21,066
How did the killer
combine these objects
146
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into a clockwork-precise
homicide delivery system?
147
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- Uh, I doubt he did.
- Excuse me?
148
00:07:25,504 --> 00:07:28,040
Ball bearings?
A hang glider? Birdseed?
149
00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:29,473
A giant U-shaped magnet?
150
00:07:29,474 --> 00:07:31,877
Most killers are dumb.
Occam's razor, right?
151
00:07:31,911 --> 00:07:33,311
That Road Runner
probably got hit by a car.
152
00:07:33,312 --> 00:07:37,016
The killer was not dumb.
He was ...
153
00:07:37,049 --> 00:07:38,751
That does it!
Field trip!
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I was just taking
this class as an elective,
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and now I'm in
the butt-[bleep] desert.
156
00:07:43,388 --> 00:07:46,325
Now, watch. I poured
the birdseed on the road.
157
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Then the ball bearings
go in the birdseed like so.
158
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Try putting ball bearings
in your oatmeal tomorrow
159
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,034
and see if you notice or not.
Christ!
160
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:59,772
Watch closely, and tell me it's not
diabolical in its precision!
161
00:07:59,805 --> 00:08:01,239
I whish I brought a Lunchable.
162
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,076
I love Lunchables.
163
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:06,445
ACME is mandated by the
Department of Homeland Security
164
00:08:06,478 --> 00:08:09,781
to post lists of individuals who
purchase rocket-powered merchandise.
165
00:08:09,782 --> 00:08:11,315
- Everyone knows that!
- [Bleep] off, James.
166
00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:13,485
According to ACME,
they only sold one
167
00:08:13,518 --> 00:08:17,055
rocket-powered hang glider ever!
To that guy!
168
00:08:22,194 --> 00:08:25,397
Thanks to you kids, the Road
Runner's murder is solved.
169
00:08:25,430 --> 00:08:28,366
It's funny. If Professor Coyote
had just hit the Road Runner
170
00:08:28,367 --> 00:08:30,169
with his car,
nobody would have known.
171
00:08:30,202 --> 00:08:32,204
He was brought down
by his own ego.
172
00:08:32,237 --> 00:08:35,306
- Who wants Lunchables?
- Uh, me. I do.
173
00:08:39,845 --> 00:08:42,915
Whoo!
Mary-Kate and Ashley Do Tijuana!
174
00:08:42,948 --> 00:08:45,150
Party!
175
00:08:45,184 --> 00:08:46,819
Jet skis!
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Lunch!
177
00:08:47,987 --> 00:08:49,320
More agua, señoritas?
178
00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:52,958
Enjoying your vacatión?
Dónde está your parents?
179
00:08:52,992 --> 00:08:56,294
- IDK. Arizona?
- Perfecto!
180
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I had so many, uh,
Shirley-a Temples
181
00:09:01,934 --> 00:09:03,969
I can't even remember
which twin I am.
182
00:09:04,003 --> 00:09:08,373
- Eek!
- No! Ashley!
183
00:09:08,407 --> 00:09:10,109
Wait, am I Ashley?
184
00:09:10,142 --> 00:09:13,512
I will find you
because I have skills ...
185
00:09:13,545 --> 00:09:15,881
a very particular set of skills,
186
00:09:15,915 --> 00:09:19,952
like tap-dancing and looking
cute while riding a horse!
187
00:09:19,985 --> 00:09:21,585
- I'm gonna save you!
- Oh, my God, no!
188
00:09:21,586 --> 00:09:23,522
- I'm saving you!
- Aw!
189
00:09:27,459 --> 00:09:29,061
You run away while I distract them.
190
00:09:29,094 --> 00:09:31,096
No, you distract them, and I'll ...
191
00:09:31,130 --> 00:09:33,032
- I'd never leave you.
- Aw!
192
00:09:33,065 --> 00:09:35,034
- Put these on.
- Oh, my God, Ashley!
193
00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:36,300
Do you know what this means?
194
00:09:36,301 --> 00:09:38,891
Fashion montage!
195
00:09:39,271 --> 00:09:40,871
Unh-unh.
196
00:09:42,241 --> 00:09:44,409
No.
197
00:09:44,443 --> 00:09:46,445
Oh!
198
00:09:46,478 --> 00:09:48,080
Yeah!
199
00:09:48,113 --> 00:09:52,451
Ooh, nice!
Twin virgins! Yeah!
200
00:09:52,484 --> 00:09:56,287
- Yep.
- Um...
201
00:09:56,322 --> 00:09:57,756
Mary Kate!
We said we were gonna
202
00:09:57,757 --> 00:10:00,391
- lose our virginities together!
- Okay, kinda weird.
203
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,994
I've been a terrible twin.
204
00:10:02,027 --> 00:10:04,229
No, I have. I shouldn't
have yelled at you.
205
00:10:04,263 --> 00:10:06,131
It's okay.
I forgive you.
206
00:10:06,165 --> 00:10:08,000
Mm, yeah, that's it.
207
00:10:08,033 --> 00:10:10,836
Yeah, now kiss.
Yeah!
208
00:10:10,870 --> 00:10:13,272
Ew! We're sisters, you sicko!
209
00:10:24,016 --> 00:10:26,251
Twin power!
Guns! Yeah!
210
00:10:26,285 --> 00:10:28,921
Take that, Jabba the Ugh!
211
00:10:28,954 --> 00:10:32,057
- Oh, my God, you are so funny.
- Stop it. You're taller.
212
00:10:32,091 --> 00:10:33,859
- Oh, you stop it.
- Stop it!
213
00:10:36,214 --> 00:10:37,777
Oh, we're sisters.
214
00:10:38,661 --> 00:10:41,852
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~