1
00:00:07,052 --> 00:00:09,786
And with the ceremonial
Dutch oven completed,
2
00:00:09,788 --> 00:00:12,522
another Steve and
Roger sleepover begins.
3
00:00:12,950 --> 00:00:14,323
What do you want to do next?
4
00:00:14,325 --> 00:00:15,403
- Jerk off?
- What?
5
00:00:15,427 --> 00:00:16,245
Probably too early.
6
00:00:16,328 --> 00:00:18,299
We have even eaten our bagel bites yet.
7
00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:20,430
Steve's mom? Where are the bites?
8
00:00:20,432 --> 00:00:21,403
We can play some games
9
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,633
on the vintage Macintosh
we've been rebuilding.
10
00:00:23,635 --> 00:00:26,269
Dang! But we still need the mouse.
11
00:00:26,271 --> 00:00:28,471
Guess what came today?
12
00:00:28,473 --> 00:00:31,274
No! No way!
13
00:00:32,049 --> 00:00:35,645
Number Munchers, Dark Castle,
Motorcycle Mayhem?
14
00:00:35,647 --> 00:00:38,081
Surprise me.
15
00:00:40,568 --> 00:00:41,284
What's this?
16
00:00:41,286 --> 00:00:43,052
It's Oregon Trail.
17
00:00:43,054 --> 00:00:44,887
You play as a family of pioneers
18
00:00:44,889 --> 00:00:46,823
trying to survive on the frontier.
19
00:00:46,825 --> 00:00:48,658
Um, can we play something else?
20
00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:50,093
Come on, it'll be great.
21
00:00:50,095 --> 00:00:52,228
If we beat Oregon Trail,
22
00:00:52,230 --> 00:00:55,731
we get to print out a certificate.
23
00:00:55,733 --> 00:00:56,999
Toshi got one.
24
00:00:57,001 --> 00:00:59,001
Carries it in his wallet
instead of a condom.
25
00:00:59,003 --> 00:01:00,602
He's been drowning in muff.
26
00:01:00,605 --> 00:01:03,706
Well, he's straightedge,
so he just makes out a lot.
27
00:01:03,708 --> 00:01:06,676
Oh, here we go. Time to hit the trail!
28
00:01:09,581 --> 00:01:11,514
Oh, we lost Dad.
29
00:01:11,516 --> 00:01:13,149
Stan's gone?
30
00:01:13,151 --> 00:01:14,750
_
31
00:01:16,187 --> 00:01:17,620
_
32
00:01:21,126 --> 00:01:23,126
_
33
00:01:23,128 --> 00:01:24,594
Sleepover's canceled.
34
00:01:24,596 --> 00:01:26,295
What? It just started.
35
00:01:26,297 --> 00:01:28,164
Dad hasn't even burst
in in his underwear
36
00:01:28,166 --> 00:01:30,166
and told us to
"Shut the [bleep] up or else."
37
00:01:30,168 --> 00:01:32,768
All right, boys,
don't stay up too late tonight.
38
00:01:32,770 --> 00:01:35,004
We have family picture day tomorrow.
39
00:01:36,274 --> 00:01:39,342
Full disclosure.
Between the kitchen and here,
40
00:01:39,344 --> 00:01:42,078
that's actually the fourth
time I dropped these.
41
00:01:44,549 --> 00:01:47,049
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
42
00:01:47,051 --> 00:01:50,920
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
43
00:01:50,922 --> 00:01:54,023
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
44
00:01:54,025 --> 00:01:58,728
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
45
00:02:00,198 --> 00:02:03,766
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
46
00:02:03,768 --> 00:02:06,335
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
47
00:02:06,337 --> 00:02:07,770
Aah!
48
00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:12,074
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
49
00:02:12,311 --> 00:02:14,511
_
50
00:02:14,512 --> 00:02:15,866
Chomp, chomp, chomp!
51
00:02:15,914 --> 00:02:18,581
Still don't have a smile
from Junior over there.
52
00:02:18,583 --> 00:02:20,950
- Chomp, chomp, chomp!
- Haha-ahoho!
53
00:02:20,952 --> 00:02:23,619
The shark ate his nose!
You guys seeing this?
54
00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:26,255
Roger, I spent over $3,000
55
00:02:26,257 --> 00:02:28,892
on these damn denim outfits...
just smile.
56
00:02:28,994 --> 00:02:30,106
Smile for what?
57
00:02:30,128 --> 00:02:33,563
A photo I can look at in 1,000
years when you're all dead?!
58
00:02:33,565 --> 00:02:35,498
Before you got bitten by a snake?!
59
00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:36,699
A snake?
60
00:02:36,701 --> 00:02:38,501
Oh, God, what's gonna happen?!
61
00:02:38,503 --> 00:02:40,570
Are you talking about Oregon Trail?
62
00:02:40,572 --> 00:02:43,439
- It was only a game.
- No, it's not!
63
00:02:43,441 --> 00:02:45,408
'Cause even if you don't
drown or starve to death,
64
00:02:45,410 --> 00:02:48,177
you're human,
so I'm gonna outlive you all!
65
00:02:48,179 --> 00:02:49,579
What?
66
00:02:49,581 --> 00:02:51,981
I don't need some denim-clad reminder
67
00:02:51,983 --> 00:02:54,817
of when I was stupid
enough to care about you!
68
00:02:56,888 --> 00:02:59,088
- Stan?
- I got this.
69
00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:01,557
Hey, uh, you know,
I'd love to see more of you.
70
00:03:01,559 --> 00:03:03,659
If you ever want to go
out and need a wingman,
71
00:03:04,362 --> 00:03:08,030
you know, this comes off.
72
00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:13,849
I'm really worried about Roger, hun.
73
00:03:13,851 --> 00:03:15,184
I know what'll cheer him up.
74
00:03:15,186 --> 00:03:17,453
One of my patented funny faces.
75
00:03:21,926 --> 00:03:23,559
Stan, watch the road!
76
00:03:23,561 --> 00:03:24,827
My eyes are stuck!
77
00:03:34,038 --> 00:03:36,072
Francine!
78
00:03:42,380 --> 00:03:44,647
Dad... Roger!
79
00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:48,684
Roger, get out of there!
80
00:03:53,424 --> 00:03:55,391
Good-bye.
81
00:04:03,468 --> 00:04:06,168
- _
- I miss you every day, Roger.
82
00:04:06,170 --> 00:04:08,571
The other night,
I got in the sleeping bag
83
00:04:08,573 --> 00:04:10,039
and Dutch ovened myself.
84
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,408
For a moment,
I thought I could smell you.
85
00:04:12,410 --> 00:04:15,711
Then I realized you shit
the sleeping bag last year.
86
00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:17,913
Anyway, sorry it's just me.
87
00:04:19,115 --> 00:04:21,283
The family's not exactly coping well.
88
00:04:24,756 --> 00:04:27,323
I want to talk about Roger. I miss him.
89
00:04:27,325 --> 00:04:30,659
Steve, you need to move on
and deal with Roger's death
90
00:04:30,661 --> 00:04:32,661
in a healthy way like
the rest of us have.
91
00:04:32,663 --> 00:04:35,264
Yeah! Dad's got his mustache,
92
00:04:35,266 --> 00:04:37,233
I'm deep into street fighting,
93
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,635
and Mom's got her hair
and cigarettes goin'.
94
00:04:41,272 --> 00:04:42,805
What's the point, Steve?
95
00:04:42,807 --> 00:04:44,206
Roger's dead.
96
00:04:44,208 --> 00:04:47,743
All that's left of
him is our pasta claw.
97
00:04:49,514 --> 00:04:52,181
Thanks again for
adjusting the handlebars.
98
00:04:52,183 --> 00:04:54,083
Arms are still regenerating.
99
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,985
Of course, we get that all the time.
100
00:04:55,987 --> 00:04:58,554
This model doesn't have
a sidecar option, correct?
101
00:04:58,556 --> 00:04:59,822
Unfortunately, no.
102
00:04:59,824 --> 00:05:01,424
Good. Got no need for one.
103
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:04,126
You see, I'm a lone wolf. A renegade.
104
00:05:04,128 --> 00:05:05,861
Had a need for a sidecar once,
105
00:05:05,863 --> 00:05:09,765
but no longer do I have...
a need... for one.
106
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:11,133
Super.
107
00:05:11,135 --> 00:05:13,269
Turned my back on that way of life.
108
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,204
Gonna stop caring about people.
109
00:05:15,206 --> 00:05:16,972
'Cause when you care about people,
110
00:05:16,974 --> 00:05:18,808
you care when they're gone.
111
00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:20,910
Pretty cool, man.
112
00:05:21,225 --> 00:05:22,144
Renegade!
113
00:05:24,682 --> 00:05:26,782
Not cool, man.
114
00:05:30,419 --> 00:05:32,286
I was a man with a family,
115
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:35,022
who realized I was going
to outlive that family.
116
00:05:35,024 --> 00:05:38,592
So I cut ties, got loose...
loose as a goose.
117
00:05:38,594 --> 00:05:39,960
Set out on my own,
118
00:05:39,962 --> 00:05:42,129
keeping everybody at
goose-length distance.
119
00:05:42,131 --> 00:05:45,833
They're the world's longest
bird if you pull hard enough.
120
00:05:45,835 --> 00:05:47,067
Whoa!
121
00:05:50,573 --> 00:05:53,807
So like I was saying, I'm a renegade.
122
00:05:53,809 --> 00:05:55,342
Movin' from town to town,
123
00:05:55,344 --> 00:05:57,578
helpin' people
who can't help themselves...
124
00:05:57,580 --> 00:05:58,879
Whoa, cow skull!
125
00:06:04,613 --> 00:06:06,644
Three wheels. So safe.
126
00:06:06,679 --> 00:06:08,155
Makes way more sense.
127
00:06:08,156 --> 00:06:09,992
_
128
00:06:14,297 --> 00:06:17,131
So, um, you know how I'm the only one
129
00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:18,599
who answers the phone anymore?
130
00:06:18,601 --> 00:06:20,637
Does it hurt your arm,
131
00:06:20,737 --> 00:06:25,839
pattin' yourself on the back all day,
Mr. Fancy Phone Guy?
132
00:06:26,628 --> 00:06:28,575
That's an interesting accent, Mama.
133
00:06:28,577 --> 00:06:32,279
But I-I got a call today
saying someone charged
134
00:06:32,281 --> 00:06:34,315
$31,000 worth of motorcycles
135
00:06:34,317 --> 00:06:36,750
to Dad's credit card in Missouri.
136
00:06:36,752 --> 00:06:38,419
Don't you mean Miz-oor-uh?
137
00:06:38,421 --> 00:06:40,454
Wh-What I mean is, it's weird.
138
00:06:40,456 --> 00:06:43,761
What's also weird is,
the same week, a single man,
139
00:06:43,860 --> 00:06:46,193
calling himself "René Gade"
140
00:06:46,195 --> 00:06:49,029
crashed six motorcycles
within a four-mile stretch
141
00:06:49,031 --> 00:06:50,531
outside of St. Louis.
142
00:06:50,533 --> 00:06:52,466
D-Doesn't that sound like
something Roger would...
143
00:06:52,468 --> 00:06:55,502
Roger's dead, Steve!
You need to accept it like we have!
144
00:06:55,504 --> 00:06:58,238
Try doin' something with your life, boy!
145
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,661
Even that scumbag Klaus
turned Roger's attic
146
00:07:00,743 --> 00:07:02,743
into a neighborhood bodega.
147
00:07:02,745 --> 00:07:05,279
We've all moved on!
148
00:07:05,281 --> 00:07:07,481
- Miz-oor-uh!
- We've all moved on!
149
00:07:07,483 --> 00:07:08,949
- Grow a mustache!
- Miz-oor-uh!
150
00:07:08,951 --> 00:07:10,484
- We've all moved on!
- Miz-oor-uh!
151
00:07:10,486 --> 00:07:12,052
- Grow a mustache!
- Miz-oor-uh!
152
00:07:12,054 --> 00:07:13,587
- We've all moved on!
- Grow a mustache!
153
00:07:13,589 --> 00:07:14,850
Miz-oor-uh!
154
00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:18,859
You think it's easy to run a bodega?
155
00:07:18,861 --> 00:07:20,427
Sure, it looks sexy as hell,
156
00:07:20,429 --> 00:07:22,629
with all my dusty cans and the smell of
157
00:07:22,631 --> 00:07:25,899
wet mango blunt wraps wafting
over the big roll of scratchers.
158
00:07:25,901 --> 00:07:28,769
But behind the oldest
boxes of cat food in town
159
00:07:28,771 --> 00:07:32,072
is a man who is under
constant siege by shoplifters
160
00:07:32,074 --> 00:07:33,574
and thieves like you!
161
00:07:33,576 --> 00:07:36,610
Klaus, I'm just saying that
last time printouts were $1.
162
00:07:36,612 --> 00:07:39,046
It's always been $2 per printout, bro.
163
00:07:39,048 --> 00:07:40,481
Read the sign.
164
00:07:40,482 --> 00:07:42,082
_
165
00:07:43,472 --> 00:07:44,318
Get out!
166
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,388
I don't like having two
people in here at once.
167
00:07:50,426 --> 00:07:52,893
This guy's got sticky fingers.
168
00:07:52,895 --> 00:07:54,561
I'm sure of it.
169
00:07:55,598 --> 00:07:57,486
May I help you find something?
170
00:07:57,567 --> 00:07:59,032
The exit perhaps?
171
00:07:59,034 --> 00:08:01,468
Are these 64-ounce Arizona Iced Teas
172
00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:03,003
the biggest ones you have?
173
00:08:03,005 --> 00:08:06,407
Let me check in the back.
174
00:08:06,409 --> 00:08:09,438
Nice try, shit eyes. I know your game.
175
00:08:09,473 --> 00:08:11,803
I go behind that door, and you run off
176
00:08:11,838 --> 00:08:14,715
with a Duraflame and a pocket
bottle of Rumple Minze.
177
00:08:14,717 --> 00:08:16,283
- What?
- Get out!
178
00:08:16,285 --> 00:08:17,885
You want a bigger iced tea?!
179
00:08:17,887 --> 00:08:19,486
Well, I want the health department
180
00:08:19,488 --> 00:08:21,255
to let me reopen my deli counter!
181
00:08:21,257 --> 00:08:24,324
I want to be balls-deep in egg salad!
182
00:08:24,326 --> 00:08:26,093
I want to be able to brag
183
00:08:26,095 --> 00:08:29,596
that this is a Boar's
Head establishment again!
184
00:08:34,203 --> 00:08:35,379
All right, listen up!
185
00:08:35,438 --> 00:08:39,006
There's a new renegade in town
and he's hungry for 'gading!
186
00:08:39,008 --> 00:08:40,541
Now who has an injustice?
187
00:08:40,543 --> 00:08:43,844
Well, there is a local biker
gang that's been terrorizing us.
188
00:08:43,846 --> 00:08:45,646
Well, not anymore.
189
00:08:46,369 --> 00:08:47,381
Something to eat?
190
00:08:47,383 --> 00:08:50,117
Thought I'd finish up these fries.
191
00:08:50,119 --> 00:08:52,453
- Those are cold.
- I'm a renegade.
192
00:08:52,455 --> 00:08:55,756
I like my fries cold
and my beers smokin' hot.
193
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:58,625
That's them!
194
00:08:58,627 --> 00:08:59,726
A-Are you sure?
195
00:08:59,728 --> 00:09:02,396
I can't renegade unless
you're 100% sure.
196
00:09:02,398 --> 00:09:04,264
I'm sure, I'm sure.
197
00:09:04,266 --> 00:09:06,633
It sounds like you're saying "unsure"...
198
00:09:08,724 --> 00:09:09,703
- Whoa!
- Aah!
199
00:09:10,806 --> 00:09:13,707
You picked the wrong
day to come in here!
200
00:09:13,709 --> 00:09:15,976
We got us a renegade!
201
00:09:15,978 --> 00:09:18,679
Mm, mm, mm!
202
00:09:18,681 --> 00:09:21,415
The fries are so good!
203
00:09:21,417 --> 00:09:24,051
Who's the renegade? This guy?
204
00:09:24,549 --> 00:09:25,252
Argh!
205
00:09:25,254 --> 00:09:27,654
Please, sir, help us!
206
00:09:27,656 --> 00:09:29,923
Fries, fries, fries, fries, fries.
207
00:09:34,363 --> 00:09:37,798
Ugh! You promised to help us.
208
00:09:42,638 --> 00:09:47,174
You're a coward.
209
00:09:47,176 --> 00:09:49,576
Would a coward do this?
210
00:09:50,513 --> 00:09:54,414
_
211
00:09:59,986 --> 00:10:00,986
_
212
00:10:01,390 --> 00:10:04,391
Where are you going, Roger?
213
00:10:11,066 --> 00:10:14,234
He's riding the Oregon Trail!
214
00:10:14,236 --> 00:10:17,938
Ore-gone? Ore-ginn?
215
00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:20,707
Trail? Treal?
216
00:10:20,709 --> 00:10:23,243
Man, everything is sounding weird to me.
217
00:10:23,245 --> 00:10:24,912
My name is Steve.
218
00:10:24,914 --> 00:10:27,614
Steeeve.
219
00:10:27,616 --> 00:10:29,783
Stoive?
220
00:10:29,784 --> 00:10:30,784
_
221
00:10:31,687 --> 00:10:36,123
Work hard, play hard,
it's the renegade way.
222
00:10:36,539 --> 00:10:39,226
Hello? Anybody there?
223
00:10:43,465 --> 00:10:45,666
"Wanted, renegade.
224
00:10:45,668 --> 00:10:48,835
Minimal bravery and
motorcycle skills required."
225
00:10:48,837 --> 00:10:50,037
Yes!
226
00:10:50,039 --> 00:10:51,972
Uh, hello?
227
00:10:51,974 --> 00:10:55,475
Damn it, wrong side.
228
00:10:55,477 --> 00:10:57,744
Bluh-luh-luh-luh.
229
00:10:58,914 --> 00:11:01,648
Ech, should've parked closer.
230
00:11:04,153 --> 00:11:05,419
Stoive?!
231
00:11:05,421 --> 00:11:07,688
Roger! I knew you were alive!
232
00:11:07,690 --> 00:11:10,691
Why'd you do this?
Roger, we're your family.
233
00:11:10,693 --> 00:11:12,359
Well, it's better if you're not!
234
00:11:12,361 --> 00:11:13,760
Because when you love something
235
00:11:13,762 --> 00:11:15,996
and you know you're gonna lose it,
it hurts!
236
00:11:15,998 --> 00:11:17,464
And I can't keep doing it!
237
00:11:17,466 --> 00:11:20,701
- Keep doing it?
- I loved another family once.
238
00:11:20,703 --> 00:11:22,102
As much as you guys.
239
00:11:22,104 --> 00:11:23,971
They were pioneers...
240
00:11:23,973 --> 00:11:25,339
Wait a minute.
241
00:11:25,341 --> 00:11:27,604
I thought you landed in Roswell
in the '40s.
242
00:11:27,676 --> 00:11:28,595
The second time.
243
00:11:28,611 --> 00:11:30,611
The first time,
I was with my Aunt Carolynn.
244
00:11:30,613 --> 00:11:32,446
She had always been a bad driver.
245
00:11:32,448 --> 00:11:34,715
A little thing like her
nephew's Nerf football
246
00:11:34,717 --> 00:11:37,317
bouncing on the light speed
button and she was all,
247
00:11:37,319 --> 00:11:39,186
"Blaah! Brace for impact!"
248
00:11:39,188 --> 00:11:40,954
She was killed instantly.
249
00:11:41,363 --> 00:11:42,990
Oh, my God, that's terrible!
250
00:11:42,992 --> 00:11:45,492
Oh! Are we...
Are we both telling this story?
251
00:11:45,494 --> 00:11:46,727
No? Okay, then.
252
00:11:46,729 --> 00:11:49,029
Now, without further interruption...
253
00:11:49,031 --> 00:11:49,880
where was I?
254
00:11:50,032 --> 00:11:52,933
Damn. Uch, forget it!
255
00:11:52,935 --> 00:11:54,768
Nah, nah, it's a good story,
I'm gonna finish it.
256
00:11:54,770 --> 00:11:57,537
Anyway, that's when I met the Meekers,
257
00:11:57,539 --> 00:11:59,580
a family of fur trappers.
258
00:12:01,076 --> 00:12:04,578
They took me in,
treated me as one of their own,
259
00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:07,814
and I joined them on
their trip to Oregon.
260
00:12:10,319 --> 00:12:13,987
Things were going great till one
of our wagon wheels popped off.
261
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:23,363
That was an incredibly long hill.
262
00:12:23,365 --> 00:12:24,698
And I was exhausted.
263
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:27,000
But I was in better
shape than the Meekers.
264
00:12:30,081 --> 00:12:31,579
_
265
00:12:32,005 --> 00:12:33,433
_
266
00:12:33,716 --> 00:12:35,477
_
267
00:12:35,944 --> 00:12:38,078
_
268
00:12:38,514 --> 00:12:40,313
Roger, I'm so sorry.
269
00:12:40,315 --> 00:12:42,282
Now it makes sense why you're out here
270
00:12:42,284 --> 00:12:44,051
retracing the Oregon Trail.
271
00:12:44,053 --> 00:12:46,520
I am? I had no idea.
272
00:12:46,522 --> 00:12:48,555
I thought I was just
following Soul Asylum
273
00:12:48,557 --> 00:12:50,857
from county fair to county fair.
274
00:12:50,859 --> 00:12:53,427
But playing Oregon Trail with you
275
00:12:53,429 --> 00:12:55,462
stirred up memories of the Meekers.
276
00:12:55,464 --> 00:12:58,999
And I realized I-I'm gonna
outlive the Smiths, too.
277
00:12:59,001 --> 00:13:01,334
That's why I faked my death,
hit the road,
278
00:13:01,336 --> 00:13:02,836
and became a famous renegade.
279
00:13:02,838 --> 00:13:05,572
But, Roger,
people live so much longer now.
280
00:13:05,574 --> 00:13:07,741
I mean, with advancements in technology,
281
00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:09,543
who knows how long we'll be together.
282
00:13:09,545 --> 00:13:11,545
Technology, huh?
283
00:13:11,547 --> 00:13:13,380
Haven't really thought about that.
284
00:13:13,382 --> 00:13:14,715
It's a big deal these days, isn't it?
285
00:13:14,717 --> 00:13:17,317
What do you say? Ready to come home?
286
00:13:17,319 --> 00:13:19,519
Stop fretting about
the time we don't have
287
00:13:19,521 --> 00:13:21,588
and start enjoying the time we do.
288
00:13:21,590 --> 00:13:23,890
Technology, baby!
289
00:13:26,528 --> 00:13:28,595
Look who I found!
290
00:13:28,597 --> 00:13:29,663
Yeah!
291
00:13:29,665 --> 00:13:31,031
- Roger!
- You're alive!
292
00:13:31,033 --> 00:13:33,767
- Miz-oor-uh!
- I'm sorry I left you guys,
293
00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:35,902
and I can't give you back the last year,
294
00:13:35,904 --> 00:13:37,904
although it looks like
you all were doing great.
295
00:13:37,906 --> 00:13:41,108
What I can do is pick up
right where we left off.
296
00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:42,476
The car accident?
297
00:13:42,478 --> 00:13:44,845
No, silly! Jerking off at our sleepover!
298
00:13:44,847 --> 00:13:46,580
I don't think that we agreed on that.
299
00:13:46,582 --> 00:13:50,050
All right, Steve,
play it cool for your parents.
300
00:13:52,221 --> 00:13:55,288
I thought we could start with
a little Motorcycle Mayhem.
301
00:13:55,290 --> 00:13:58,859
Nah, come on big daddy,
let's fire up that Dutch oven.
302
00:13:58,861 --> 00:14:01,895
Roger, I thought you'd never ask.
303
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,234
Oh, this boy is so strong!
304
00:14:07,236 --> 00:14:08,568
Roger, help!
305
00:14:08,570 --> 00:14:10,137
Hold on, buddy!
306
00:14:10,139 --> 00:14:12,305
There you go, Dr. Weitzman.
307
00:14:19,248 --> 00:14:22,015
Mom? Dad? Where are we?
308
00:14:22,017 --> 00:14:23,950
Oh, good. You're all awake.
309
00:14:23,952 --> 00:14:26,787
- What the hell?
- You were right, Steve.
310
00:14:26,789 --> 00:14:28,789
With technology,
I'll never have to worry
311
00:14:28,791 --> 00:14:30,457
about out-living you guys.
312
00:14:30,459 --> 00:14:33,560
You'll be safe and sound
inside my Macintosh.
313
00:14:33,562 --> 00:14:35,266
You mean our Macintosh!
314
00:14:35,564 --> 00:14:38,598
Seriously?
That's your biggest concern right now?
315
00:14:41,909 --> 00:14:43,742
Roger, get us out of this computer!
316
00:14:43,744 --> 00:14:45,277
I'm putting my foot down!
317
00:14:45,299 --> 00:14:46,678
That's cute.
318
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:48,011
But your foot's over here.
319
00:14:49,183 --> 00:14:51,216
Why are you doing this to us?!
320
00:14:51,218 --> 00:14:52,584
It's for your own good!
321
00:14:52,586 --> 00:14:54,686
You used to live in
these vulnerable bodies.
322
00:14:54,688 --> 00:14:57,622
Bodies break down. Look.
323
00:14:58,792 --> 00:15:00,425
Ugh! I'm gonna be sick.
324
00:15:00,427 --> 00:15:01,860
No, that's the point.
325
00:15:01,862 --> 00:15:03,729
You're never gonna be sick again.
326
00:15:03,731 --> 00:15:06,298
Thanks to technology,
you'll live as long as me.
327
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:08,200
Roger, this is not what I meant.
328
00:15:08,202 --> 00:15:09,701
You're so humble, Steve.
329
00:15:09,703 --> 00:15:12,003
But when you started blabbing
about technology this
330
00:15:12,005 --> 00:15:14,639
and technology that, it dawned on me.
331
00:15:14,641 --> 00:15:16,708
If the CIA can put Klaus' mind
332
00:15:16,710 --> 00:15:18,810
in a fish's body or Stan's car,
333
00:15:18,812 --> 00:15:21,413
they should be able to put
the family in a computer.
334
00:15:21,415 --> 00:15:23,215
And Dr. Weitzman agreed to this?
335
00:15:23,217 --> 00:15:23,973
Not at first.
336
00:15:23,985 --> 00:15:27,786
But it turns out Dr.
Weitzman is a big fan of $20.
337
00:15:31,592 --> 00:15:33,625
Just my luck.
338
00:15:33,627 --> 00:15:36,428
Another scumbag thief.
339
00:15:37,931 --> 00:15:39,798
Do you have any bags of marshmallows
340
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:41,533
that aren't all melted together?
341
00:15:41,535 --> 00:15:43,168
- No!
- That's fine.
342
00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:44,603
Probably packing heat.
343
00:15:44,605 --> 00:15:46,505
Getting robbed at gunpoint
344
00:15:46,507 --> 00:15:48,840
would be hell on my profit margins.
345
00:15:48,842 --> 00:15:50,709
Well, I'm ready to...
346
00:15:50,711 --> 00:15:52,978
My thin margins!
347
00:15:56,183 --> 00:15:58,083
I'm the health inspector.
348
00:15:59,086 --> 00:16:02,687
You can reopen your deli counter.
349
00:16:04,424 --> 00:16:06,324
What am I doing?
350
00:16:06,326 --> 00:16:08,760
I gotta call my Boar's Head guy!
351
00:16:08,762 --> 00:16:10,595
I'm not trying to trick you, Roger.
352
00:16:10,597 --> 00:16:12,164
That sounded like a
gunshot in the house.
353
00:16:12,166 --> 00:16:13,832
Ever since you've been in a computer,
354
00:16:13,834 --> 00:16:15,534
you think you know what every sound is.
355
00:16:15,536 --> 00:16:18,403
I'll go see what it actually was.
356
00:16:18,405 --> 00:16:20,005
Okay, guys, I got a plan.
357
00:16:20,007 --> 00:16:21,973
If we can get into MacPaint,
358
00:16:21,975 --> 00:16:24,743
we can get a message to
Klaus to come save us.
359
00:16:24,745 --> 00:16:25,500
How?
360
00:16:25,546 --> 00:16:29,047
This computer is connected
to the printer in his bodega.
361
00:16:31,718 --> 00:16:34,352
Hayley, you're the graffiti artist...
start writing!
362
00:16:34,354 --> 00:16:36,955
- What?
- You're... You're into graffiti, right?
363
00:16:36,957 --> 00:16:39,391
You and all the girls in your gang?
364
00:16:39,393 --> 00:16:40,759
I'm not in a gang.
365
00:16:40,761 --> 00:16:42,761
But you got the bandana...
366
00:16:42,763 --> 00:16:45,096
We're not very close, are we?
367
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,567
Ah-ah-ah!
368
00:16:49,736 --> 00:16:51,837
And just to be safe...
369
00:16:53,473 --> 00:16:56,274
He has total control over us!
370
00:16:56,276 --> 00:16:58,143
Maybe not.
371
00:17:01,732 --> 00:17:02,781
You dick!
372
00:17:02,783 --> 00:17:05,984
Everyone, into the game!
It's our only way out!
373
00:17:07,805 --> 00:17:09,588
No! It's suicide!
374
00:17:12,893 --> 00:17:15,393
If we beat this game,
we can print out a message
375
00:17:15,395 --> 00:17:17,996
to Klaus on the
certificate of completion.
376
00:17:17,998 --> 00:17:20,532
We've reached the Kansas River Crossing!
377
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,034
We can ford it, float it,
378
00:17:23,036 --> 00:17:24,803
or wait and see if conditions improve!
379
00:17:24,805 --> 00:17:26,605
Wait and see, wait and see...
380
00:17:26,607 --> 00:17:29,741
This family's built... ford tough!
381
00:17:29,743 --> 00:17:31,543
Dad, are you high?!
382
00:17:31,545 --> 00:17:33,712
I'll tell you what's high, Hayley.
383
00:17:33,714 --> 00:17:35,580
The heights you can soar to
384
00:17:35,582 --> 00:17:38,250
when you work together as a family...
385
00:17:38,585 --> 00:17:40,986
_
386
00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:44,055
No! It's happening again!
387
00:17:44,057 --> 00:17:45,891
_
388
00:17:45,893 --> 00:17:47,158
It's just a game.
389
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,227
I-I didn't think we'd feel anything,
390
00:17:49,229 --> 00:17:53,098
but I now know how it
feels to drown to death.
391
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:55,200
Like a wicked-long keg stand!
392
00:17:55,202 --> 00:17:58,203
Come on, guys,
we've got to beat this thing!
393
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,721
Aah!
394
00:18:22,663 --> 00:18:24,362
Ah!
395
00:18:28,335 --> 00:18:29,768
Aah!
396
00:18:36,944 --> 00:18:38,443
Ugh!
397
00:18:38,445 --> 00:18:40,278
Aah!
398
00:18:47,254 --> 00:18:48,687
Aah!
399
00:18:51,883 --> 00:18:53,625
Aah!
400
00:18:59,433 --> 00:19:02,701
Look! Over yonder!
401
00:19:02,703 --> 00:19:05,437
We made it to Oregon!
402
00:19:05,439 --> 00:19:07,906
_
403
00:19:07,908 --> 00:19:10,642
Quick! Print...
404
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,914
All right, Klaus.
You shot an unarmed man.
405
00:19:15,916 --> 00:19:17,515
Gotta make it seem like a shootout,
406
00:19:17,517 --> 00:19:19,918
then it'll be his word against yours.
407
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,854
Just a small chunk of fin.
408
00:19:24,658 --> 00:19:27,459
That's not gonna do it. Too small.
409
00:19:28,795 --> 00:19:30,862
Oh, that's perfect.
410
00:19:30,864 --> 00:19:32,931
You can rest now, Klaus.
411
00:19:32,933 --> 00:19:36,501
Your margins are safe.
412
00:19:37,838 --> 00:19:40,138
Boar's Head! Boar's head delivery!
413
00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:42,841
Big round balls of turkey comin' in!
414
00:19:44,177 --> 00:19:46,411
Oh, my God!
415
00:19:46,413 --> 00:19:49,948
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
416
00:19:49,950 --> 00:19:51,549
OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod...
417
00:19:51,551 --> 00:19:54,519
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
418
00:19:54,521 --> 00:19:55,887
OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod...
419
00:19:55,889 --> 00:19:58,556
Ehh. Oh, my God.
420
00:19:58,558 --> 00:20:00,558
Ahh, my arm!
421
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,560
Di... Did Klaus save us?
422
00:20:02,562 --> 00:20:05,196
Oh, no, Klaus got shot up
and robbed by some maniac.
423
00:20:05,198 --> 00:20:07,132
Then how are we back in our bodies?
424
00:20:07,134 --> 00:20:08,900
I think I know what happened.
425
00:20:08,902 --> 00:20:11,803
Roger saw us do what
the Meekers couldn't.
426
00:20:11,805 --> 00:20:14,624
He saw us survive the Oregon Trail
427
00:20:14,659 --> 00:20:15,774
and was so impressed...
428
00:20:15,776 --> 00:20:18,109
Wrong! I pulled you out of the computer
429
00:20:18,111 --> 00:20:21,446
because I saw you die so many times,
it desensitized me.
430
00:20:21,448 --> 00:20:22,947
Desensitized you?
431
00:20:22,949 --> 00:20:26,117
Yeah, I watched you die
in every conceivable way.
432
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:27,385
Except for you, Francine,
433
00:20:27,387 --> 00:20:29,287
you just kept dying from dysentery.
434
00:20:29,289 --> 00:20:31,523
Couldn't stop drinking
that mud water could you,
435
00:20:31,525 --> 00:20:32,924
you silly dumb-dumb?
436
00:20:32,926 --> 00:20:34,459
I was thirsty.
437
00:20:34,461 --> 00:20:35,994
So you're really cured?
438
00:20:35,996 --> 00:20:37,629
Yep, cured as a cucumber.
439
00:20:37,631 --> 00:20:40,365
The thought of you dying doesn't
bother me at all anymore.
440
00:20:40,367 --> 00:20:43,201
Oh, Roger,
that's all we could ever hope for!
441
00:20:43,203 --> 00:20:46,237
But when we are gone,
we sure are gonna miss you, Roger.
442
00:20:46,239 --> 00:20:48,840
No, you'll be dead. You won't even know.
443
00:20:48,842 --> 00:20:50,340
I'll know. But I won't care.
444
00:20:50,498 --> 00:20:52,865
All right, Roger.
We're happy you're back to normal,
445
00:20:52,867 --> 00:20:55,234
but let's try and be kind.
446
00:20:55,236 --> 00:20:58,471
I'll dance on your graves.
447
00:20:58,473 --> 00:20:59,918
Bye! Have a great time!
448
00:21:01,919 --> 00:21:03,919
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com