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_
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It's alive!
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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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Oh, no.
Time to Hulk-out.
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00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:48,593
Oh, no!
Hulk leg still asleep.
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00:00:48,627 --> 00:00:51,662
Hulk coming!
W-Wait for Hulk!
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00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,386
Mr. Scrooge, you've given
the Cratchit family
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00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:57,005
a merry Christmas, indeed.
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- And I've saved the best gift for Tiny Tim.
- Oh, gosh, what is it?
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Mother[bleep] robot legs!
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God bless us, every one!
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Merry Christmas, [Bleep]suckers!
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- Yo, man, $50 for the girl.
- Hey.
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She graduate high school?
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- Uh, no.
- Hey, [bleep] you.
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High school graduates
earn way more on average.
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Shit!
You hear that, baby?
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I'll get you a GED,
and we both be earning.
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Ooh! Cool!
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You really want to increase
her earning potential,
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get her a bachelor's degree.
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- Shit! I'll get her a mother[bleep] doctorate!
- Huh?
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Thanks. Yay!
24
00:01:36,937 --> 00:01:38,972
Whoo! We gonna make
some bank now.
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Aw, it's a shame
that women only make
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- 70 cents on the dollar compared to men.
- Aw, hell, no!
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Nobody's rippin' off 30 cents
on every dollar from me!
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Well, Congress doesn't exactly have
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a great equal-rights
track record lately.
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Baby, you're runnin' for Congress!
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- Aw! I don't wanna.
- If I say you runnin', you runnin'
32
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- and winning!
- Ugh...
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And that's why we must
pass legislation for equal pay.
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Women would get paid more
if businesses didn't lose money
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- from maternity leave.
- Oh, no, you didn't.
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00:02:05,662 --> 00:02:07,868
- Now, sir, stay in your ...
- Oh, my God!
37
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Nobody asked you about...
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Congresswoman, will you please
direct your associate
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to stop pimp slapping
the fine representative ...
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00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:17,867
Oh, shit!
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00:02:17,868 --> 00:02:19,568
Ain't nobody asked
you about shit!
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Got a grande, non-fat,
triple three-pump, white mocha
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with light ice for Voldem-m...
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00:02:25,248 --> 00:02:26,936
Uh...
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00:02:29,386 --> 00:02:32,075
You know, the Confederate flag
isn't a racist symbol.
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The Civil War was principally
a battle over states' rights,
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- not slavery.
- I disagree with my cousin Bo,
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and I am embarrassed to be
in this car right now.
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Ask my cousin Luke
how many black friends he has.
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The answer is zero.
Ask him how many black friends I have.
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Spoiler alert ... one.
Checkmate!
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- Guess who's not a racist ... muh!
- Please tell my cousin Bo
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that his dark-skinned friend,
Chevy, is Guatemalan, not black.
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Uh, tell my cousin Luke
that I'm thinking
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of a different friend named T-Tyrone
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who lives in Chickasaw County,
and Luke ...
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Luke's never even met him.
So, who's not a racist now?
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00:03:02,489 --> 00:03:04,972
- That is such bullshit.
- You're such bullshit!
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_
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Oh, look what you've done!
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I'm melting!
Melting!
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I regret so many things.
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Most of all, banging
that guy in the pile
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of discarded lunch meat
outside of Quiznos.
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Oh, screw all of you.
I don't need your judgment.
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I'm going!
Going!
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The guy was kind of attractive
in an ugly sort of way ...
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like a pug.
Plus, I hadn't gotten any in a while.
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Why am I explaining myself
to you idiots?!
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It was a mistake!
I own that.
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He also gave me Hep C.
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Look, if you run into
a very ugly man outside
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the Oz Quiznos, who is
almost surely 18 by now,
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please tell him he has Hep C!
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Dad, can I have
a rocket-powered skateboard?
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00:03:55,282 --> 00:03:57,041
What happened
to your allowance, Richie?
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Oh, I spent it on a gold-plated shark.
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Oh, that's the same look
the shark gave me
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00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:02,868
as it sank to the bottom of the bay.
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Gosh darn it!
No more allowance
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00:04:05,075 --> 00:04:07,351
until you learn
how the real world works!
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00:04:08,731 --> 00:04:11,144
Well, looks like we're in
the same boat, brother...
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00:04:11,179 --> 00:04:12,833
essentially.
W-What's your story?
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00:04:12,834 --> 00:04:14,868
Lost my job at
the solar-energy plant.
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Hmm.
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00:04:16,110 --> 00:04:18,489
I was the owner
of this solar-energy plant.
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- My dream is dead.
- What happened?
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00:04:20,144 --> 00:04:23,868
The oil company lobbied
Congress to shut us down.
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00:04:24,041 --> 00:04:27,075
Um, Senator, why did you
let Big Oil write legislation
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that shut down
the solar-energy plant?
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00:04:28,731 --> 00:04:29,971
Well, it's a travesty,
92
00:04:29,972 --> 00:04:32,386
but special-interest money
owns half of Congress.
93
00:04:32,420 --> 00:04:35,213
But where does the
special-interest money come from?
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00:04:35,248 --> 00:04:38,593
$856,743...
95
00:04:38,627 --> 00:04:42,971
$856,744...
Ah, Richie.
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00:04:42,972 --> 00:04:45,110
Did you learn a lesson
about the real world?
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00:04:45,144 --> 00:04:47,110
Yeah, I learned that
special-interest money
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is destroying people's lives.
99
00:04:49,303 --> 00:04:50,792
Oh, yeah, hmm, hmm...
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00:04:50,827 --> 00:04:52,316
Well, until the special
interests are stopped,
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America will continue to spiral
down the toilet. Sorry, Dad.
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Pull that trigger
and you'll never get that
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00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:01,784
rocket-powered skateboard.
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00:05:05,041 --> 00:05:07,593
- Wheeeee!
- Way to go, kid!
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Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
106
00:05:11,684 --> 00:05:16,270
I think I got another concussion,
but Coach says I'm fine.
107
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Buy me a yacht.
108
00:05:17,856 --> 00:05:21,167
Mama, why's that beautiful
woman with a monster?
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Well, Chip...
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♪ The story's old as dirt ♪
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♪ Scholars all agree ♪
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♪ Moron athletes get ♪
113
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♪ The best [bleep] to pet ♪
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♪ Unequivocally ♪
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Goddamn it, baby,
I ain't gonna tell you again
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not to talk when you
talking to me, damn it!
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And what's going on
over there, Mama?
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♪ Certain as a douche ♪
119
00:05:42,063 --> 00:05:43,960
♪ Having a goatee ♪
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♪ Domestic violence fears ♪
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♪ Lead to black-eyed tears ♪
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♪ Brute and his cutie ♪
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Wah ... And where's
the public outcry?
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Well...
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♪ Outrage can't score points ♪
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♪ Convicts can't play D ♪
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♪ Our memories are short ♪
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♪ Let's throw it out of court ♪
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♪ Justice takes a knee ♪
130
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- Oh!
- Hey, a free pot!
131
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Go long!
132
00:06:08,512 --> 00:06:11,822
- Mom!
- Ohh, my mom...
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You're a monster!
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- That's you.
- Sir, this is a restaurant!
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Are you single?
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00:06:19,373 --> 00:06:21,272
Oh, I say, what do you say
137
00:06:21,307 --> 00:06:25,031
you trade that cow
for these magic beans?
138
00:06:25,065 --> 00:06:27,686
Oh, magic beans!
Sold, dude.
139
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,031
You mean to tell me
you sold our only cow
140
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for a handful of beans?!
141
00:06:31,755 --> 00:06:33,583
Oh, son.
Fetch my whipping belt.
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Well, surprise ...
I'm already wearing it.
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00:06:35,858 --> 00:06:38,307
- And whip!
- Ah-ow! Ah-ha-ha! Ah!
144
00:06:38,341 --> 00:06:41,755
Stupid beans.
I wish I'd never met you.
145
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Wow.
I wonder what's up there.
146
00:06:47,548 --> 00:06:48,961
Eh. Who gives a shit.
147
00:06:48,962 --> 00:06:50,651
Hey, Monsanto,
how much would you pay
148
00:06:50,652 --> 00:06:52,064
for an 8-mile-tall beanstalk?
149
00:06:56,445 --> 00:07:01,494
Thanks for the beans, suckah!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
150
00:07:03,617 --> 00:07:06,755
That punk doesn't realize
this cow is magic!
151
00:07:08,824 --> 00:07:10,824
Sprout your magic cow wings
152
00:07:10,858 --> 00:07:14,696
and fly me to Bermuda!
Yeah!
153
00:07:16,583 --> 00:07:20,376
Well... looks like
I've made a terrible mistake.
154
00:07:21,514 --> 00:07:25,790
I need your clothes, your boots,
and your motorcycle.
155
00:07:25,824 --> 00:07:28,272
And your watch.
And your glasses.
156
00:07:28,307 --> 00:07:30,203
That belt ...
Where did you acquire it?
157
00:07:30,238 --> 00:07:31,478
J-J-JCPenney.
158
00:07:31,479 --> 00:07:32,961
JCPenney.
Thank you.
159
00:07:32,962 --> 00:07:34,824
And your sandwich.
I need your sandwich.
160
00:07:34,858 --> 00:07:38,065
I need your clothes, your boots,
the JCPenney belt is a pass,
161
00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:39,478
your motorcycle, your watch,
162
00:07:39,479 --> 00:07:41,307
your sunglasses,
and your sandwich.
163
00:07:44,307 --> 00:07:47,490
You have a nice body.
Do you workout?
164
00:07:48,686 --> 00:07:50,064
Pika... Ah...
165
00:07:50,065 --> 00:07:51,858
- Pikachu's down.
- We're not finished yet.
166
00:07:51,893 --> 00:07:53,858
I've got one more trick
up my sleeve.
167
00:07:53,893 --> 00:07:56,823
Are you ignoring me on purpose?!
Pikachu is bleeding out!
168
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,824
Glinda, Good Witch of the North,
169
00:07:58,858 --> 00:08:01,686
- I choose you!
- It's Glinda.
170
00:08:01,721 --> 00:08:04,100
All right, Glinda, munchkin mash!
171
00:08:07,307 --> 00:08:09,065
Now, go for
the Yellow Brick Road.
172
00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:11,548
Yellow-brick tornado!
173
00:08:11,583 --> 00:08:13,617
Emerald wizard attack!
174
00:08:13,652 --> 00:08:15,617
Uh, stop conjuring me.
175
00:08:15,652 --> 00:08:19,214
I'm a very good man,
but a poor Pokémon.
176
00:08:21,238 --> 00:08:24,030
- Finish him with the house of pain!
- It's Glinda-Glinda.
177
00:08:26,824 --> 00:08:28,340
Oh, thank you, Ash.
178
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,514
Since Dorothy killed the
Wicked Witch of the West,
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00:08:30,548 --> 00:08:33,686
I've run out of bitches
to scrap with.
180
00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:36,652
Wow. Do you have any other
surprises in your balls?
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00:08:36,686 --> 00:08:40,100
- Wink.
- By the way, Pikachu is... dead.
182
00:08:40,652 --> 00:08:44,100
David, our dress code clearly
calls for a three-piece suit.
183
00:08:44,134 --> 00:08:46,652
Well, it's laundry day,
so I tripled up on pants.
184
00:08:46,686 --> 00:08:48,386
Hope that's cool.
185
00:08:48,652 --> 00:08:51,341
Squirrels have
multiple uses for acorns.
186
00:08:51,376 --> 00:08:54,514
It is both food source
and suppository.
187
00:08:54,548 --> 00:08:58,410
Go on, then. You said you'd
do it for 100 squirrel dollars.
188
00:08:58,445 --> 00:09:00,962
Deal is a deal.
189
00:09:01,824 --> 00:09:04,307
Lieutenant Dan!
You got new legs!
190
00:09:04,341 --> 00:09:09,031
And so did I!
God bless us, every one!
191
00:09:09,514 --> 00:09:12,862
I love this new
churro place, Sailor Scouts.
192
00:09:16,927 --> 00:09:19,577
- Serena, turn into Sailor Moon.
- Right!
193
00:09:19,612 --> 00:09:22,547
- And I'll turn into Sailor Mercury.
- I'll become Sailor Mars.
194
00:09:22,548 --> 00:09:25,445
- Sailor Jupiter.
- Sailor Venus.
195
00:09:25,479 --> 00:09:28,445
And I'll turn into Sailor Earth!
196
00:09:28,479 --> 00:09:30,341
There's no Sailor Earth.
197
00:09:30,376 --> 00:09:32,790
Watch and learn, babe.
Earth prism power go.
198
00:09:41,169 --> 00:09:43,514
Wow. You look...
out of breath.
199
00:09:43,548 --> 00:09:45,168
Just what are your powers?
200
00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:47,893
I possess the combined
qualities of all Earth people.
201
00:09:47,927 --> 00:09:49,271
So, you know, whatever they do.
202
00:09:49,272 --> 00:09:51,307
Earth power ... racism!
203
00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:54,341
Nice poncho, ese.
How many pesos did it cost,
204
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:58,133
or did you steal it off a dead
burro, you [bleep]?
205
00:09:58,134 --> 00:10:00,376
You cannot say those things!
206
00:10:00,410 --> 00:10:02,307
Oh, racism doesn't exist anymore?
207
00:10:02,341 --> 00:10:04,100
Tell it to the 7 billion Earthlings.
208
00:10:05,617 --> 00:10:07,237
Cool your tits. I got this.
209
00:10:07,238 --> 00:10:09,927
Chemically-enhanced
decision-making activate...
210
00:10:09,962 --> 00:10:11,513
But you're so out of shape.
211
00:10:11,514 --> 00:10:13,064
Yeah, well, technically I'm obese,
212
00:10:13,065 --> 00:10:15,824
just like 30% of
the Earth's population.
213
00:10:15,858 --> 00:10:18,721
Ow! Shit! Ow!
Oh!
214
00:10:18,755 --> 00:10:22,617
Law of unintended
consequences, or whatever...
215
00:10:22,652 --> 00:10:23,720
Wah!
216
00:10:23,721 --> 00:10:25,445
Wow, he did it!
217
00:10:25,479 --> 00:10:28,134
Oh, but the food court will be
uninhabitable for weeks!
218
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:29,857
I don't know, it's like
that Earth expression ...
219
00:10:29,858 --> 00:10:31,099
"Only shit where you eat."
220
00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:33,134
- That is not the expression.
- Oh, yeah?
221
00:10:33,169 --> 00:10:36,410
Well, tell that to the Gulf after
the next preventable oil spill.
222
00:10:36,445 --> 00:10:38,514
Sailor Earth makes me feel guilty
223
00:10:38,548 --> 00:10:40,893
about being a human being.
224
00:10:40,927 --> 00:10:43,996
I beat up the owner,
so... this stuff's mine.
225
00:10:44,031 --> 00:10:46,307
That's called geopolitics.
226
00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:48,479
Hey, can I get in on some
of that churro action?
227
00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:49,447
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
228
00:10:49,548 --> 00:10:50,857
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
229
00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:52,824
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
230
00:10:52,858 --> 00:10:53,930
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
231
00:10:54,031 --> 00:10:55,375
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
232
00:10:55,376 --> 00:10:57,169
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
233
00:10:57,203 --> 00:10:58,202
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
234
00:10:58,403 --> 00:10:59,616
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
235
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,583
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
236
00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:03,790
- Ba-gawk!
- Bawk.
237
00:11:07,862 --> 00:11:12,110
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~