1
00:00:13,793 --> 00:00:15,170
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪
2
00:00:15,194 --> 00:00:17,161
♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
3
00:00:17,264 --> 00:00:18,729
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
4
00:00:18,831 --> 00:00:20,598
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
5
00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:23,701
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
6
00:00:23,804 --> 00:00:25,537
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
7
00:00:25,639 --> 00:00:27,305
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ♪
8
00:00:27,407 --> 00:00:30,407
♪ Headin' on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
9
00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:36,682
♪ Come on down to South Park,
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:36,784 --> 00:00:38,012
- Uploaded by hemlig -
- Re-synced and corrected by darthfrede -
www.addic7ed.com
11
00:00:39,953 --> 00:00:42,720
Come on, guys.
We don't wanna be late.
12
00:00:42,822 --> 00:00:45,122
Do I have to go? It's the only
day I get to play games.
13
00:00:45,224 --> 00:00:48,360
We're all going.
Come on.
14
00:00:49,795 --> 00:00:51,907
I don't understand why we have
to go to church every Sunday.
15
00:00:51,931 --> 00:00:53,665
Church is important,
Stan.
16
00:00:53,767 --> 00:00:56,134
Way more important
than video games and TV.
17
00:00:56,236 --> 00:00:58,502
Church is about community
and coming together...
18
00:00:58,604 --> 00:00:59,838
a lot of things.
19
00:00:59,940 --> 00:01:02,774
All I know is that after church,
I just feel better.
20
00:01:02,876 --> 00:01:04,909
Yeah.
Me, too.
21
00:01:07,047 --> 00:01:08,412
Hey, mornin', Stephen,
Linda!
22
00:01:08,514 --> 00:01:09,913
Morning, guys.
23
00:01:10,016 --> 00:01:11,616
Oh, thanks, there, Randy.
24
00:01:11,718 --> 00:01:12,984
You got it.
Where's Josie?
25
00:01:13,086 --> 00:01:14,719
Aw, she slipped her disc
in her neck.
26
00:01:14,821 --> 00:01:16,086
Poor thing
can barely move.
27
00:01:16,189 --> 00:01:17,667
Aw, she's gonna miss church?
That's too bad.
28
00:01:17,691 --> 00:01:18,923
Give her my best.
29
00:01:20,726 --> 00:01:22,393
For God so loved the world
30
00:01:22,495 --> 00:01:24,729
that he gave
his only begotten son
31
00:01:24,831 --> 00:01:27,898
so that whoever believed in him
should have eternal life.
32
00:01:28,001 --> 00:01:29,701
This is the gospel of the Lord.
33
00:01:29,803 --> 00:01:32,370
Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.
34
00:01:32,472 --> 00:01:35,506
Today's gospel talks about
what the Lord has to give us.
35
00:01:35,608 --> 00:01:39,243
He did so because we could not
control our temptations.
36
00:01:39,345 --> 00:01:41,512
Kind of like a priest
in a room full of naked boys.
37
00:01:44,751 --> 00:01:45,916
Okay. Okay. Let's...
38
00:01:46,018 --> 00:01:47,858
Let's try and have
none of that today.
39
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,623
In John 3:16, the gospel tells
us how God so loved the world,
40
00:01:51,725 --> 00:01:53,624
he gave to us his only son.
41
00:01:53,726 --> 00:01:55,660
And a Catholic priest
raped him.
42
00:01:57,631 --> 00:02:00,031
Okay, okay.
Come... Come on, guys.
43
00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:02,766
N... Now, what greater gift
could the Lord have given to us?
44
00:02:02,868 --> 00:02:03,901
Children's underwear
45
00:02:04,003 --> 00:02:05,683
which priests couldn't
pull down so easily.
46
00:02:07,274 --> 00:02:09,740
Okay. Let's... Let's try
and compose ourselves.
47
00:02:09,842 --> 00:02:12,910
Let's try and just get through
this first one, okay, guys?
48
00:02:13,012 --> 00:02:15,913
What does it mean that the Lord
gave us his only begotten son?
49
00:02:16,015 --> 00:02:17,135
It means
if you're a cute boy
50
00:02:17,183 --> 00:02:18,561
at a Catholic priest
swimming party,
51
00:02:18,585 --> 00:02:19,585
you better be gettin'!
52
00:02:27,493 --> 00:02:28,960
Oh, that was a great one,
Nelson.
53
00:02:29,062 --> 00:02:30,661
Salvation
in a little boy's mouth.
54
00:02:30,763 --> 00:02:32,096
I'm gonna post that one
for sure.
55
00:02:32,198 --> 00:02:34,031
Who said the thing
about naked boy salad?
56
00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:35,200
Oh, that was Linda!
57
00:02:35,302 --> 00:02:37,101
Well, see ya next week,
everybody!
58
00:02:37,204 --> 00:02:39,103
- Yeah! See ya!
- All right. Take it easy, now!
59
00:02:39,205 --> 00:02:40,304
- Bye.
- That was good.
60
00:02:40,406 --> 00:02:43,307
I really don't understand
the point of all that.
61
00:02:43,410 --> 00:02:45,409
Yeah, well, I used
to think that about church
62
00:02:45,511 --> 00:02:46,777
when I was a kid,
too.
63
00:02:46,879 --> 00:02:48,999
But back then, I don't know
if church was that stupid.
64
00:02:49,048 --> 00:02:50,748
Hey, don't say
things like that, Stan.
65
00:02:50,850 --> 00:02:52,484
You wanna go
to fuckin' hell?
66
00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:14,739
Father,
can I talk to you?
67
00:03:14,841 --> 00:03:18,275
Of course, my child.
What's troubling you?
68
00:03:18,378 --> 00:03:22,347
Well,
what's troubling you?
69
00:03:24,150 --> 00:03:26,217
You know, at school,
the kids used
70
00:03:26,319 --> 00:03:28,285
to all make fun
of me sometimes.
71
00:03:28,387 --> 00:03:30,154
One kid would say
something mean,
72
00:03:30,256 --> 00:03:31,755
and then the other kids
would laugh.
73
00:03:31,857 --> 00:03:34,325
I know how lousy
it feels.
74
00:03:34,427 --> 00:03:36,661
I learned
to just walk away,
75
00:03:36,763 --> 00:03:38,428
not give 'em
all the satisfaction.
76
00:03:38,531 --> 00:03:41,399
Well, we can't all
walk away.
77
00:03:41,501 --> 00:03:44,001
The... The priesthood
is all I know.
78
00:03:44,103 --> 00:03:47,071
I...
I dedicated my entire life to it.
79
00:03:47,173 --> 00:03:49,473
I don't know
anything else.
80
00:03:49,576 --> 00:03:51,509
I know it seems
impossible.
81
00:03:51,611 --> 00:03:53,411
I thought I'd be a punching bag
my whole life,
82
00:03:53,446 --> 00:03:56,180
but now, I'm one
of the popular kids.
83
00:03:56,282 --> 00:03:57,282
I even get invited
84
00:03:57,350 --> 00:03:59,249
to board game night
at Stan's house.
85
00:03:59,351 --> 00:04:01,485
My point is,
sometimes,
86
00:04:01,587 --> 00:04:04,055
y... you just gotta
put yourself out there.
87
00:04:10,229 --> 00:04:11,996
I wanna be Calamity Jane
this time.
88
00:04:12,098 --> 00:04:13,542
How many cards
do you start with, Kenny?
89
00:04:13,566 --> 00:04:15,066
Two cards.
90
00:04:15,168 --> 00:04:16,467
Oh.
There's Butters!
91
00:04:16,569 --> 00:04:17,768
Oh, hey, fellas!
92
00:04:17,870 --> 00:04:19,470
I hope you don't mind
I brought a friend.
93
00:04:19,539 --> 00:04:21,038
Come on in!
94
00:04:21,140 --> 00:04:23,041
Uh, hello, my children.
95
00:04:24,744 --> 00:04:27,611
Okay, so, I...
I guess I'm gonna go to the saloon
96
00:04:27,713 --> 00:04:29,046
and try
to arrest Cartman.
97
00:04:29,148 --> 00:04:30,381
Let's see what you got,
bitch.
98
00:04:30,483 --> 00:04:34,385
So, Kyle, did you know
Father is a really good singer?
99
00:04:34,487 --> 00:04:35,886
You like to sing, too,
don't you?
100
00:04:35,988 --> 00:04:37,254
No.
101
00:04:37,356 --> 00:04:39,223
Praise the Lord
for the Lord is good.
102
00:04:39,326 --> 00:04:42,126
Sing praise to his name,
for that is pleasant.
103
00:04:42,228 --> 00:04:43,127
Ace.
You lose.
104
00:04:43,229 --> 00:04:44,528
Hey, Stan.
105
00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:46,731
Have you seen my...
106
00:04:50,670 --> 00:04:51,936
No way!
107
00:04:52,038 --> 00:04:54,538
Hang on! Hang on!
I gotta post this!
108
00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:55,940
I shouldn't be here.
109
00:04:56,042 --> 00:04:57,141
This is hilarious.
110
00:04:57,244 --> 00:04:58,920
Four boys and a priest
playing a board game!
111
00:04:58,944 --> 00:05:00,677
- Aw, Father wait a...
- I should go.
112
00:05:00,779 --> 00:05:02,646
No, no, no wait.
Let me get the picture.
113
00:05:02,748 --> 00:05:04,315
Father!
114
00:05:04,417 --> 00:05:06,083
Aw, shit!
I missed it.
115
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:09,019
Why did you invite Butters
to game night?
116
00:05:09,121 --> 00:05:11,322
I didn't invite him.
117
00:05:11,424 --> 00:05:13,724
Come on, Father.
You can't give up so fast!
118
00:05:13,826 --> 00:05:15,827
This is just gonna
make things way worse.
119
00:05:15,929 --> 00:05:17,128
People will rip on me.
120
00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:19,330
Who cares?
Who cares what people say?
121
00:05:19,432 --> 00:05:20,331
I do.
122
00:05:20,433 --> 00:05:21,766
Aw, come on.
You gotta be strong!
123
00:05:21,868 --> 00:05:23,768
Why do you care?!
124
00:05:23,870 --> 00:05:26,470
Because I was you.
Okay?
125
00:05:26,572 --> 00:05:29,574
I wasn't always this cool.
I've been through it.
126
00:05:29,676 --> 00:05:31,875
But then, one day,
somebody told me something.
127
00:05:31,977 --> 00:05:34,511
He said, "Life is full of love
and light and bountiful things,"
128
00:05:34,614 --> 00:05:35,779
and you know
who told me that?
129
00:05:35,882 --> 00:05:38,683
You did!
Two years ago in church!
130
00:05:38,785 --> 00:05:40,718
You have a right
to go and be happy,
131
00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:42,765
and if people wanna
keep trying to knock you down,
132
00:05:42,789 --> 00:05:44,856
well, fuck 'em!
133
00:05:49,045 --> 00:05:50,378
Hey.
Morning, Mackey.
134
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,913
Happy Sunday!
Mornin', Ted, Hazel.
135
00:05:53,016 --> 00:05:54,849
- Mornin'!
- Mornin'!
136
00:05:54,951 --> 00:05:56,149
Mornin'! Mornin'!
137
00:05:56,252 --> 00:05:57,818
Ah, doin' better.
huh, Josie?
138
00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:59,453
A lot better,
thank you.
139
00:05:59,556 --> 00:06:00,654
All right.
140
00:06:04,126 --> 00:06:05,693
Huh.
141
00:06:05,795 --> 00:06:07,361
What the...?
142
00:06:07,463 --> 00:06:08,562
It's not open.
143
00:06:08,664 --> 00:06:09,763
Let me try.
144
00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:13,867
Hey!
Hey, it's 9:00! Hey!
145
00:06:13,969 --> 00:06:15,302
What's going on?
146
00:06:22,277 --> 00:06:23,677
There's no church
today!
147
00:06:23,779 --> 00:06:25,958
You all are just gonna have
to find something better to do!
148
00:06:28,050 --> 00:06:29,283
Hey.
149
00:06:29,385 --> 00:06:30,718
Hey!
Open the door!
150
00:06:30,820 --> 00:06:33,588
Hey!
Come on!
151
00:06:35,692 --> 00:06:36,757
Well, this sucks.
152
00:06:36,859 --> 00:06:38,826
What are we supposed to do
without church?
153
00:06:38,928 --> 00:06:41,128
I just feel
so empty.
154
00:06:41,230 --> 00:06:42,696
What are you guys
so upset about?
155
00:06:42,798 --> 00:06:44,365
Shut up, Shelly!
156
00:06:46,002 --> 00:06:47,868
Isn't this great,
Father?
157
00:06:47,970 --> 00:06:49,303
Fresh, mountain air.
158
00:06:49,405 --> 00:06:50,704
Nice, warm fire.
159
00:06:50,806 --> 00:06:54,007
I have to admit, it's a pretty
nice way to spend a Sunday.
160
00:06:54,110 --> 00:06:56,209
How many are your works,
Lord?
161
00:06:56,312 --> 00:06:58,446
In wisdom,
you made them all.
162
00:06:58,728 --> 00:07:01,082
Yeah.
The Lord's pretty cool.
163
00:07:01,184 --> 00:07:02,416
He is...
164
00:07:02,518 --> 00:07:04,852
Because he brought me you.
165
00:07:06,389 --> 00:07:08,956
♪ Faith in Christ ♪
166
00:07:09,058 --> 00:07:11,559
♪ Faith in Christ ♪
167
00:07:20,136 --> 00:07:22,903
♪ Faith in Christ ♪
168
00:07:25,641 --> 00:07:29,911
♪ Faith in Christ ♪
169
00:07:31,247 --> 00:07:33,881
♪ Faith in Christ ♪
170
00:07:36,786 --> 00:07:39,587
♪ Faith in Christ ♪
171
00:07:44,861 --> 00:07:48,129
♪ Faith in Christ ♪
172
00:08:08,151 --> 00:08:12,787
♪ Faith in Christ ♪
173
00:08:20,496 --> 00:08:23,263
Denver Archdiocese.
The Lord be with you.
174
00:08:23,366 --> 00:08:25,632
And with your spirit,
m'kay.
175
00:08:25,734 --> 00:08:27,601
Uh, my name
is counselor Mackey,
176
00:08:27,703 --> 00:08:29,536
and w...
we seem to be having a little problem
177
00:08:29,638 --> 00:08:31,838
with our local church
here in South Park.
178
00:08:31,940 --> 00:08:34,474
Our, uh...
Our priest has gone missing.
179
00:08:34,576 --> 00:08:36,477
Oh, not another one!
180
00:08:36,579 --> 00:08:38,445
All right.
Listen to me carefully.
181
00:08:38,548 --> 00:08:41,482
Your local priest
has not done anything wrong.
182
00:08:41,584 --> 00:08:43,450
Probably just taking
some time off.
183
00:08:43,552 --> 00:08:45,252
Why is that suspicious?
184
00:08:45,354 --> 00:08:46,653
Well,
it's not suspicious.
185
00:08:46,755 --> 00:08:49,090
We just kind of don't know
what to do, you know?
186
00:08:49,192 --> 00:08:50,290
We'll take care of it.
187
00:08:50,393 --> 00:08:51,904
There's no need
to involve the authorities.
188
00:08:51,928 --> 00:08:54,061
Just sit tight.
189
00:08:55,231 --> 00:08:57,831
Send in a clean-up crew now.
190
00:08:59,535 --> 00:09:02,002
We've got another one.
191
00:09:02,104 --> 00:09:04,438
A priest in South Park
has gone rogue
192
00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:06,707
and is probably out
doing his thing.
193
00:09:06,809 --> 00:09:10,110
I need you guys to get up there
and clean up his mess.
194
00:09:10,212 --> 00:09:11,678
Don't worry,
Your Holiness.
195
00:09:11,780 --> 00:09:13,414
By the time we're done
with that town,
196
00:09:13,516 --> 00:09:15,282
there won't be a lick of cum
anywhere.
197
00:09:27,497 --> 00:09:28,829
Happy Birthday, Clyde!
198
00:09:28,931 --> 00:09:31,599
Hope you don't mind
I brought a friend!
199
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:35,202
For we are God's handiwork,
created in Christ Jesus
200
00:09:35,304 --> 00:09:37,204
to do good works.
201
00:09:37,306 --> 00:09:39,406
Dude, what are you
talking about?
202
00:09:39,508 --> 00:09:40,508
Come on, Father!
203
00:09:40,543 --> 00:09:42,442
Let's go tear up
the skating rink!
204
00:09:42,544 --> 00:09:44,678
Just leave it alone,
Clyde.
205
00:09:44,780 --> 00:09:46,013
Butters brings him
everywhere.
206
00:09:46,115 --> 00:09:47,348
I don't care.
207
00:09:47,450 --> 00:09:49,427
I don't want a priest
at my fucking birthday party!
208
00:09:49,451 --> 00:09:50,931
It's all right, Clyde.
It's all right.
209
00:09:56,125 --> 00:09:57,391
That's it!
You're doin' great!
210
00:09:59,061 --> 00:10:00,661
Oh, Mother Mary.
211
00:10:00,763 --> 00:10:02,662
I feel like everyone's
staring at me.
212
00:10:05,201 --> 00:10:06,201
Nobody's staring!
213
00:10:06,269 --> 00:10:07,734
I'm gonna go get us
some soda pop.
214
00:10:07,836 --> 00:10:09,703
You just mingle
with the other fellas!
215
00:10:15,644 --> 00:10:17,978
What's it all about, huh?
216
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,114
Are we just bags
of carbon and water
217
00:10:20,216 --> 00:10:22,149
put on this planet
for no purpose?
218
00:10:22,251 --> 00:10:23,884
You're born.
219
00:10:23,986 --> 00:10:25,353
You die.
220
00:10:25,455 --> 00:10:28,122
Then you're just
food for the worms.
221
00:10:28,224 --> 00:10:31,525
It all does seem
pretty meaningless.
222
00:10:31,627 --> 00:10:33,294
Hey!
The church is back open!
223
00:10:33,396 --> 00:10:34,761
There's people inside!
224
00:10:34,863 --> 00:10:36,630
- What?
- They church is back open?
225
00:10:36,732 --> 00:10:37,898
Oh, boy! Let's go!
Let's go!
226
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,667
- The church is back open!
- Thank God! Let's go!
227
00:10:42,805 --> 00:10:44,572
Scrub everything.
228
00:10:44,674 --> 00:10:45,674
Police can detect
229
00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:47,507
even a milligram of cum
and rectal blood.
230
00:10:47,609 --> 00:10:48,942
Hey!
231
00:10:49,045 --> 00:10:50,578
Oh.
Uh, hello, my children.
232
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:51,680
The Lord be with you.
233
00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:53,614
And with your spirit.
234
00:10:53,716 --> 00:10:55,048
What, uh, what are
you guys doing?
235
00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:57,117
Oh, we're just giving the place
a nice scrub down
236
00:10:57,220 --> 00:10:58,900
while we wait
for your priest to come back.
237
00:10:58,954 --> 00:11:00,820
He was called
to South America last week.
238
00:11:00,923 --> 00:11:02,255
Last week?
239
00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:04,325
No, he was at my house
a couple days ago
240
00:11:04,427 --> 00:11:05,959
playing board games
with the boys.
241
00:11:07,196 --> 00:11:08,629
No, he wasn't.
242
00:11:08,731 --> 00:11:10,211
Look.
I assure you everything is fine.
243
00:11:10,299 --> 00:11:13,000
Your priest will be back.
Just have some patience.
244
00:11:13,102 --> 00:11:14,368
Aw!
245
00:11:14,470 --> 00:11:16,069
Come on,
guys.
246
00:11:17,673 --> 00:11:18,572
Scrub everything.
247
00:11:18,674 --> 00:11:20,407
Bleach those board-game pieces.
248
00:11:20,509 --> 00:11:22,309
You find something
on that chair?
249
00:11:22,412 --> 00:11:24,578
It's either blood and cum
or ketchup and mayo.
250
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:25,979
Well,
just get rid of it.
251
00:11:26,081 --> 00:11:27,581
Bleach the entire
top of the table.
252
00:11:27,683 --> 00:11:30,317
That's probably
where he mounted them.
253
00:11:30,419 --> 00:11:32,486
Uh, excuse me?
254
00:11:32,588 --> 00:11:34,688
Oh. Hello, my son.
255
00:11:34,790 --> 00:11:36,022
What are you doing?
256
00:11:36,125 --> 00:11:37,624
What are we doing
about what?
257
00:11:37,727 --> 00:11:38,959
Well, I mean,
it looks like
258
00:11:39,061 --> 00:11:41,006
you're scrubbing and bleaching
our table and chairs.
259
00:11:41,030 --> 00:11:43,096
Mnh-mnh.
That's not what's going on.
260
00:11:43,199 --> 00:11:45,599
Your local priest was
never here, actually.
261
00:11:45,701 --> 00:11:47,300
Yeah, he was.
I played with him.
262
00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:49,737
Oh, you did?
263
00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:51,639
Better get the Kumby.
264
00:11:51,741 --> 00:11:53,006
What's a Kumby?
265
00:11:53,108 --> 00:11:55,308
We're just here to cleanse
your spirit, my child.
266
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:56,843
Praise be to Christ.
267
00:12:03,485 --> 00:12:06,786
♪ Happy birthday, dear Clyde ♪
268
00:12:06,888 --> 00:12:10,190
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
269
00:12:10,852 --> 00:12:13,494
- Yay!
- And now, let us pray.
270
00:12:13,596 --> 00:12:14,694
Awwww.
271
00:12:14,796 --> 00:12:17,864
Bless us, Oh Lord,
and these thy gifts,
272
00:12:17,966 --> 00:12:19,233
which we are about
to receive...
273
00:12:19,335 --> 00:12:21,871
- Kyle, will you do something, please?
- Why me?
274
00:12:21,993 --> 00:12:23,236
Kyle!
275
00:12:25,074 --> 00:12:27,240
...through Christ,
Our Lord. Amen.
276
00:12:27,343 --> 00:12:30,010
Uh, Butters, can I talk
to you really fast?
277
00:12:30,112 --> 00:12:32,646
Oh, sure, Kyle.
Be right back, Father.
278
00:12:32,748 --> 00:12:34,148
All right, my child.
279
00:12:35,451 --> 00:12:36,451
What's up?
280
00:12:36,485 --> 00:12:37,718
Butters, you know,
281
00:12:37,820 --> 00:12:41,288
you can't just bring your priest
with you everywhere.
282
00:12:41,390 --> 00:12:44,291
I mean, sometimes the guys
just wanna do stuff
283
00:12:44,393 --> 00:12:46,393
and not have
a priest around.
284
00:12:46,495 --> 00:12:47,761
What are you saying,
Kyle?
285
00:12:47,864 --> 00:12:50,030
I'm saying it's just
kind of awkward, Butters.
286
00:12:50,132 --> 00:12:51,532
He's bumming
everybody out.
287
00:12:51,634 --> 00:12:54,101
Nobody wants to hear about Jesus
at a birthday party.
288
00:12:54,203 --> 00:12:55,569
Well, of course
you don't.
289
00:12:55,671 --> 00:12:57,971
It's not just me.
It's everybody, Butters.
290
00:12:58,073 --> 00:13:01,074
He can try all he wants,
but he just doesn't belong here.
291
00:13:01,176 --> 00:13:03,410
Well, I'm sorry
for trying to help out
292
00:13:03,513 --> 00:13:05,646
somebody who didn't have
anywhere else to turn.
293
00:13:05,748 --> 00:13:07,614
We'll both just leave.
294
00:13:07,716 --> 00:13:10,584
I thought you were better
than that, Kyle.
295
00:13:13,589 --> 00:13:16,123
♪ Faith in Christ ♪
296
00:13:16,225 --> 00:13:18,558
♪ Faith in Christ ♪
297
00:13:20,429 --> 00:13:22,062
All right, clean and scrub
everything.
298
00:13:22,164 --> 00:13:23,397
I want it spotless!
299
00:13:23,499 --> 00:13:25,966
Get any evidence the priest
might have left behind.
300
00:13:26,068 --> 00:13:28,402
There's something
over here.
301
00:13:28,504 --> 00:13:30,904
But I can't tell
if it's cum or frosting.
302
00:13:31,006 --> 00:13:33,007
It's an 8-year-old's
birthday party.
303
00:13:33,109 --> 00:13:35,042
Of course it's cum.
Get the Kumby!
304
00:13:35,144 --> 00:13:37,144
Praise be
to Christ.
305
00:13:39,715 --> 00:13:42,015
Hello, young man.
306
00:13:42,117 --> 00:13:43,550
We're looking
for your town priest.
307
00:13:43,652 --> 00:13:44,485
Was he here?
308
00:13:44,587 --> 00:13:47,654
Yeah, but he left
with Butters.
309
00:13:47,757 --> 00:13:49,756
Tell me about
this Butters.
310
00:13:49,858 --> 00:13:51,035
All right, that does it!
311
00:13:52,261 --> 00:13:53,427
Get outta
my birthday party,
312
00:13:53,529 --> 00:13:55,662
or else I'm gonna call
the police!
313
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,800
Father!
314
00:13:59,902 --> 00:14:01,468
Father?
315
00:14:01,570 --> 00:14:03,103
Has anybody seen
my priest?
316
00:14:03,205 --> 00:14:04,805
Father,
where'd you go?
317
00:14:06,842 --> 00:14:09,109
There you are!
I been lookin' everywhere.
318
00:14:09,211 --> 00:14:11,244
Just leave me alone.
319
00:14:11,347 --> 00:14:13,013
But you're missin'
the party.
320
00:14:13,115 --> 00:14:15,049
Look, your friends
are right, okay?
321
00:14:15,151 --> 00:14:16,783
I don't belong there.
322
00:14:16,885 --> 00:14:19,319
I...
I don't belong anywhere.
323
00:14:19,421 --> 00:14:21,922
They just don't understand you
like I do.
324
00:14:22,024 --> 00:14:24,958
Stop defending me!
There's things you don't know!
325
00:14:25,060 --> 00:14:26,326
But it's
not your fault.
326
00:14:26,428 --> 00:14:29,128
- Yes, it is. It is my fault!
- Why?!
327
00:14:29,231 --> 00:14:33,467
Because I knew!
All right?!
328
00:14:33,569 --> 00:14:35,502
I knew.
329
00:14:35,605 --> 00:14:37,203
Years ago,
330
00:14:37,305 --> 00:14:39,806
when bad things started coming
out about the Catholic Church,
331
00:14:39,908 --> 00:14:42,710
I went to Vatican,
and I... I found out
332
00:14:42,812 --> 00:14:45,345
that the problem was worse
than anyone even thought.
333
00:14:45,447 --> 00:14:50,984
I thought I could help fix it,
so I kept my mouth shut.
334
00:14:51,086 --> 00:14:53,253
I thought there was
a cancer in the Church
335
00:14:53,355 --> 00:14:54,788
that we could
get rid of.
336
00:14:54,890 --> 00:14:57,724
But the Church
is the cancer.
337
00:14:57,826 --> 00:15:00,093
It's not about
a few bad apples.
338
00:15:00,195 --> 00:15:02,395
There's only
a few good apples,
339
00:15:02,497 --> 00:15:04,898
and I'm clearly not
one of them.
340
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,800
So just stay away
from me!
341
00:15:06,902 --> 00:15:10,571
But...
I thought we were pals.
342
00:15:12,007 --> 00:15:13,974
You thought wrong.
343
00:15:32,027 --> 00:15:33,827
Hey.
344
00:15:33,929 --> 00:15:34,961
Hey, there.
345
00:15:35,063 --> 00:15:37,631
What's the matter,
my child?
346
00:15:37,733 --> 00:15:40,433
Did you know
that Jesus loves you?
347
00:15:40,535 --> 00:15:42,936
Sometimes I wonder.
348
00:15:43,038 --> 00:15:45,372
"And the life
I now live in the flesh
349
00:15:45,474 --> 00:15:49,075
I live by faith in
the Son of God, who loved me."
350
00:15:49,177 --> 00:15:51,578
Wanna Three Musketeers?
351
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,046
No, thanks.
352
00:15:53,148 --> 00:15:55,915
You like camping trips?
You wanna go camping?
353
00:15:56,017 --> 00:15:57,350
No.
354
00:15:57,452 --> 00:16:00,687
I got a bunny in the back.
You wanna see the bunny?
355
00:16:00,789 --> 00:16:02,623
Well, okay!
356
00:16:04,393 --> 00:16:05,992
Stan?
357
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:08,094
I have no idea
what's going on.
358
00:16:08,196 --> 00:16:09,997
Worst birthday ever!
359
00:16:15,671 --> 00:16:17,070
Boring.
360
00:16:17,172 --> 00:16:18,605
Dumb.
361
00:16:18,707 --> 00:16:20,473
Stupid.
362
00:16:20,575 --> 00:16:23,276
Good, but dated in its view
of gender norms.
363
00:16:27,016 --> 00:16:28,381
Hello, Mr. Marsh.
364
00:16:28,483 --> 00:16:29,249
Father!
365
00:16:29,351 --> 00:16:31,118
Hey, Sharon,
it's Father!
366
00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:32,497
- Mr. Marsh, please...
- He's back!
367
00:16:32,521 --> 00:16:33,320
Father's back!
368
00:16:33,422 --> 00:16:34,422
I'm just going around
369
00:16:34,456 --> 00:16:36,022
trying to locate
little Butters Stotch.
370
00:16:36,124 --> 00:16:37,257
I thought
he might be here
371
00:16:37,359 --> 00:16:38,792
playing a board game
with your son?
372
00:16:38,894 --> 00:16:42,062
Oh, no, I haven't seen Butters.
Or Stan.
373
00:16:42,164 --> 00:16:45,332
But, Father, please,
we all need church.
374
00:16:45,434 --> 00:16:47,567
I'm sorry, but I have
to keep looking.
375
00:16:47,670 --> 00:16:49,335
I said
some terrible things.
376
00:16:49,437 --> 00:16:50,937
Please, Father,
we're all lost,
377
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,006
and the clean-up crew
hasn't helped at all.
378
00:16:55,577 --> 00:16:58,578
What clean-up crew?
379
00:17:03,585 --> 00:17:05,318
Any sign of him?
380
00:17:05,420 --> 00:17:06,753
No, but this
should draw him out.
381
00:17:06,855 --> 00:17:08,021
The cute one says
it's where
382
00:17:08,123 --> 00:17:09,589
he and the priest
first got together.
383
00:17:09,691 --> 00:17:11,592
All right.
When the priest gets here,
384
00:17:11,694 --> 00:17:12,959
we'll take care of him
385
00:17:13,061 --> 00:17:15,795
and then eradicate this
entire place of any evidence.
386
00:17:15,898 --> 00:17:17,497
Should I bring out
the Kumby?
387
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,866
No, this is gonna be
a bigger job than that.
388
00:17:19,968 --> 00:17:23,169
Bring out
the Cumboni.
389
00:17:32,947 --> 00:17:34,081
Hey, Randy,
what's up?
390
00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:35,215
Stephen!
391
00:17:35,317 --> 00:17:36,877
Stephen, listen...
The boys are missing.
392
00:17:36,951 --> 00:17:39,820
Father Maxi thinks they've been
taken by the other priests!
393
00:17:39,922 --> 00:17:41,621
Taken by priests?
394
00:17:41,724 --> 00:17:44,191
Should we call the police
or buy some condoms?
395
00:17:44,293 --> 00:17:46,259
Okay.
O... Okay, that was good.
396
00:17:46,362 --> 00:17:48,495
But, seriously,
we have to find these guys!
397
00:17:48,597 --> 00:17:49,696
The boys are in danger!
398
00:17:49,798 --> 00:17:52,098
But where would priests go
this late at night?
399
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,902
To a midnight sale
at Boys-R-Us?
400
00:17:55,004 --> 00:17:56,369
Wha... What'd she say?
401
00:17:56,472 --> 00:17:58,972
She said,
"to a midnight sale at Boys-R-Us."
402
00:17:59,074 --> 00:18:00,707
Can...
Can I post that?
403
00:18:00,809 --> 00:18:01,841
Sure, she doesn't care.
404
00:18:01,943 --> 00:18:03,043
Give me that!
405
00:18:03,145 --> 00:18:04,985
Mr. Stotch, have you heard
from Butters at all?
406
00:18:05,013 --> 00:18:07,081
Well, yeah, we got
a really weird text from him
407
00:18:07,183 --> 00:18:09,382
saying not to worry,
he needed to do some camping.
408
00:18:09,484 --> 00:18:12,052
Oh, my Lord.
I know where to go.
409
00:18:12,154 --> 00:18:13,920
And when we get there...
410
00:18:14,022 --> 00:18:15,855
I'll need to go in alone.
411
00:18:15,957 --> 00:18:18,591
Yeah, I'll bet.
412
00:18:18,693 --> 00:18:20,394
He's not showing up.
413
00:18:20,496 --> 00:18:22,428
Try the Priest Call.
414
00:18:22,530 --> 00:18:25,699
I love Jesus!
415
00:18:25,801 --> 00:18:27,700
I love Jesus!
416
00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:29,836
I don't think he's coming.
417
00:18:29,938 --> 00:18:31,938
Oh, he's coming all right,
just not here.
418
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,573
Let's start packing up.
419
00:18:33,675 --> 00:18:36,643
You... Get on the Cumboni
and eradicate this place
420
00:18:36,745 --> 00:18:38,111
along with
everything in it.
421
00:18:38,213 --> 00:18:39,613
Yes, Your Holiness.
422
00:18:39,715 --> 00:18:40,715
Wait!
423
00:18:42,384 --> 00:18:43,450
Father.
424
00:18:43,552 --> 00:18:46,686
You wanted to find me.
Well, here I am.
425
00:18:46,788 --> 00:18:48,388
I know why you're here.
426
00:18:48,490 --> 00:18:51,158
The church can't have
someone like me
427
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:53,060
going around,
making it look bad.
428
00:18:53,162 --> 00:18:56,396
So go ahead.
Do it.
429
00:18:56,498 --> 00:18:57,797
Just get it over with.
430
00:18:57,899 --> 00:18:59,900
What?!
No!
431
00:19:00,002 --> 00:19:01,968
You think we searched
all over town
432
00:19:02,070 --> 00:19:03,937
and set up this trap
to kill you?
433
00:19:04,039 --> 00:19:05,039
We're Catholics.
434
00:19:05,106 --> 00:19:07,507
We're here to give you
what you deserve.
435
00:19:07,609 --> 00:19:10,543
A full transfer to
the beautiful Maldive Islands!
436
00:19:10,645 --> 00:19:13,079
Luxury airfare
and beach house included!
437
00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:16,416
A transfer?
438
00:19:16,518 --> 00:19:18,117
The church took care
of everything,
439
00:19:18,220 --> 00:19:20,887
just like it always has
from the beginning.
440
00:19:20,989 --> 00:19:23,891
"Thank you for cleaning up
all my cum."
441
00:19:25,260 --> 00:19:27,660
I can just go?
442
00:19:27,763 --> 00:19:30,731
I can start over
in the Maldives?
443
00:19:30,833 --> 00:19:32,399
No one will
make fun of you there.
444
00:19:32,501 --> 00:19:33,900
They can't even
speak English.
445
00:19:34,002 --> 00:19:36,036
And don't worry...
there'll be plenty of priests
446
00:19:36,138 --> 00:19:37,670
to take your place here.
447
00:19:37,772 --> 00:19:40,073
Look, I know it's a big change,
but...
448
00:19:40,175 --> 00:19:42,341
you know
what you have to do.
449
00:19:42,444 --> 00:19:45,245
Yes, I do.
450
00:19:45,347 --> 00:19:47,314
I don't think
I have any other choice.
451
00:19:49,218 --> 00:19:51,618
No.
He can't.
452
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,353
Well, our work here
is done!
453
00:19:53,455 --> 00:19:55,021
Praise be to Christ,
guys.
454
00:19:55,123 --> 00:19:56,590
It certainly was
a tough one,
455
00:19:56,692 --> 00:19:58,736
but I think we got everything cleaned up and...
456
00:20:07,901 --> 00:20:09,236
The Cumboni!
457
00:20:20,716 --> 00:20:21,967
Nooooooooo!
458
00:20:27,822 --> 00:20:30,423
Father, you did it!
459
00:20:30,525 --> 00:20:32,059
I'm so sorry,
my child.
460
00:20:32,161 --> 00:20:34,427
I never meant to say
we weren't pals.
461
00:20:34,529 --> 00:20:36,462
Does that mean
you're gonna stay?
462
00:20:36,565 --> 00:20:37,597
Of course.
463
00:20:37,699 --> 00:20:40,800
Now I have purpose,
and I have meaning.
464
00:20:40,902 --> 00:20:44,471
My job here
is to protect you.
465
00:20:44,573 --> 00:20:46,339
All of you.
466
00:20:50,779 --> 00:20:52,712
The Lord be with you.
467
00:20:52,814 --> 00:20:56,083
And with your spirit.
468
00:20:56,185 --> 00:21:00,887
Today, I'd like to talk
on the subject of penance.
469
00:21:00,990 --> 00:21:04,023
The penitent have deep remorse,
470
00:21:04,126 --> 00:21:07,727
but for true penance,
we must be humble enough
471
00:21:07,829 --> 00:21:12,332
to admit that the Lord's
forgiveness is undeserved.
472
00:21:12,434 --> 00:21:14,500
Kind of like how getting raped
by a Catholic priest
473
00:21:14,602 --> 00:21:15,335
is undeserved.
474
00:21:17,172 --> 00:21:19,338
In Job 42:6, we read,
475
00:21:19,441 --> 00:21:21,641
"Therefore
I reprehend myself
476
00:21:21,743 --> 00:21:24,243
and do penance
in dust and ashes."
477
00:21:24,345 --> 00:21:26,546
And in choir boys'
butts and asses.
478
00:21:27,783 --> 00:21:30,116
So we are not
to punish ourselves,
479
00:21:30,218 --> 00:21:33,686
but instead we are to
make ourselves passionate.
480
00:21:33,789 --> 00:21:35,956
Like a Catholic priest
at a Chuck E. Cheese.
481
00:21:37,726 --> 00:21:39,792
Oh, God, it's good
to have my faith back!
482
00:21:39,894 --> 00:21:43,262
Passionate to understand
all that Christ sacrificed
483
00:21:43,364 --> 00:21:45,665
and how hard it truly was.
484
00:21:45,767 --> 00:21:47,534
How hard what truly was?
485
00:21:50,225 --> 00:21:54,225
- Uploaded by hemlig -
- Re-synced and corrected by darthfrede -
www.addic7ed.com
486
00:21:57,479 --> 00:21:58,945
Oh, that was a great one,
Nelson.
487
00:21:59,047 --> 00:22:00,646
Salvation in a little boy's
mouth.
488
00:22:00,748 --> 00:22:02,048
I'm gonna post that one
for sure.
489
00:22:02,150 --> 00:22:04,050
Who said the thing
about naked boy salad?
490
00:22:04,152 --> 00:22:05,218
Oh, that was Linda!
491
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,053
Well, see ya next week,
everybody!
492
00:22:07,156 --> 00:22:09,055
- Yeah! See ya!
- All right. Take it easy, now!
493
00:22:09,157 --> 00:22:10,157
- Bye.
- That was good.