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It seems today that all you see
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Is violence in movies and sex on TV
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But where are those
good old-fashioned values
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On which we used to rely?
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Lucky there's a family guy
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Lucky there's a man
who positively can do
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All the things that make us
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Laugh and cry
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He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy!
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- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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Hey, you guys ever check Zillow?
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Joe, why don't you shut the...
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Tell me more about this silly word.
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It's this website, Zillow.com.
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You plug in your address,
and it gives you an estimate
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of what your house is worth.
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But they call it a Zestimate,
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because of the "Z" in "Zillow."
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How do they...
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I just don't have that creative bone.
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Wow, my house is way up
from when I bought it.
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- Mine's up, too.
- What the hell?
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Mine's way below
what you guys's are worth.
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Wait, this-this can't be right.
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It says... it says
my house is a murder house.
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What, like-like someone
was killed there?
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Yeah, it says... it says, in the '60s,
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some woman named Doris
Billingsly died in my house.
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Probably some naggy bitch, right?
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- Joseph!
- You know, they say
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when someone dies violently like that,
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- their spirit can linger.
- What do you mean?
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Ea I'm saying you might have
a g-g-g-g-g...
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disembodied spirit in your house!
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Wow, this is so cool.
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Have you ever witnessed
anything strange there?
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Actually, now that you mention it...
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Good news! The biopsy was negative.
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Did you hear something?
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Hi, Chris.
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Oh, hey, Kristen. What's up?
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Not much. I wanted to know
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if you're gonna go
to the dance on Friday.
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Nah, probably not.
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Oh, that's too bad.
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I was thinking maybe
you and I could go together.
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Oh, that's sweet, but, like I said,
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I-I don't think I'm gonna go.
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Well, if you change your mind...
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I said no!
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Okay. Geez.
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Bye, Chris.
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Uh, Chris, that very attractive girl
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just asked you out, and you said no.
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Well, sorry, Brian,
she just doesn't do it for me.
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I'm hungry.
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I might grab a bite to eat.
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We all just ate, right?
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What's wrong with that kid?
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Why wouldn't he go out with that girl?
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Who knows? Maybe he's gay.
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What? No.
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Well, you never know. I say we find out.
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You think he could be?
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Hey, I've been right
about these things before.
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Remember what I said in 2009?
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- Bruce Jenner is a man.
- No, Brian.
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That's what the press would
have you believe, but he's not.
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Bruce Jenner is a woman.
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An elegant, beautiful Dutch woman.
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Okay, guys, now, the murder took
place down here in the basement,
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so it's probably our best shot
at finding something.
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I do feel a presence in the air.
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Only Lucifer would reveal
himself to you, adulterer.
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Well, now, I have to warn you fellas...
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The only spirits I'm used to
chasing are whiskey and tequila.
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That's so Joe!
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Wow, what's going on down here?
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Trying something new for Joe.
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And we're looking for ghosts.
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We're like the male version
of the female Ghostbusters.
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Peter, there's no such thing as ghosts.
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I don't know why you guys
listen to a word he says.
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That's so Lois.
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All right, we ready?
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Wow, it is creepy.
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So, what do we do?
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Just follow my lead.
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Are there any spirits present
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that would like to communicate with us?
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What the hell was that?
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I got scared and tried to run
through the wall,
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leaving a hole shaped like me.
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Yeah, can't do that in a basement, bud.
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All right, fellas, I just
finished up an EVP session.
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Let's see if we picked anything up.
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What's EVP?
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Electronic voice phenomenon.
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Oftentimes, the human ear
can't pick up paranormal sounds,
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but electronic recording devices can.
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Mm. That right?
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Is this whole thing just you
beefing into the microphone?
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Yeah.
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Dad, they did this bit
in the lady Ghostbusters.
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Did you hear something?
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Stewie, I'm telling you,
there's no way Chris is gay.
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Oh, why, because he never hit on you?
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God, the ego.
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00:05:05,241 --> 00:05:06,708
Hey, Chris. What's up?
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Just relaxing, listening to some
of Charles Manson's music.
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What's up with you guys?
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Actually, Brian and I
are taking a survey,
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and we wanted to see
if you had a few minutes.
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- Sure. Go ahead.
- Okay, question one.
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What night are the Tony Awards?
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Tony Danza has awards?
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Name an appropriate price
to pay for jeans.
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Um, five dollars?
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What year did Bette Midler release
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"You've Got to Have Friends"?
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Oh, 1972.
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And it was fabulous!
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Chris, are you gay?
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What? No, I'm not gay.
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Well, then why didn't you go out
with that girl?
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Why would I?
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I have everything I need in
that department on my computer.
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You have 28 windows of porn
playing simultaneously?
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Sometimes I pretend I'm
at the security desk at the mall
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and everyone at the mall
is banging each other.
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Chris, don't you see?
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You're so desensitized by all this porn,
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you're-you're not
even interested in actual girls.
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Wh-What are you doing?
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I'm taking this, and we are
gonna help you start thinking
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about sex like a normal teenager.
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A-All right, I'll give it a shot.
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But it's not gonna be easy.
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I had a hell of a time
getting off sugar.
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Chris, can you pass the syrup?
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Oh, you want the syrup, old man?!
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Yeah!
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Yeah, nice attached head, Meg.
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Body, throw potatoes.
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Winner declared!
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Okay, guys, now, I thought
we could try to find the ghost
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by doing the movie Flatliners.
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- I've never seen it.
- Me, neither.
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Oh, my God. All right, we are
stopping everything right now
150
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and watching Flatliners.
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I'm all right...
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I'm glad we switched to Caddyshack.
153
00:07:01,157 --> 00:07:03,525
You know what, Peter, I think
I've had enough ghost hunting.
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- I'm done, too.
- Yeah, I'm out.
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Wait, why you leaving?
156
00:07:06,562 --> 00:07:08,196
Because all you do is screw around.
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We've been down here for hours,
and we haven't found a thing.
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Well, maybe that's because you
guys don't know the first thing
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about catching ghosts.
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You know what, Lois was right.
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We should just never listen to you.
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Come on, guys.
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I think you're all just scared.
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Oh, yeah? Let's see who's scared.
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What are you doing?
Turn that light back on.
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Have a good night, Peter.
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Quagmire. Help!
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Someone help me!
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Hey! Open this door!
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Don't leave me alone with the ghost!
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Help! Help!
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Help!
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Help! Help!
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Help! Help!
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What the hell?
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Peter, are you okay?
177
00:08:01,751 --> 00:08:04,119
I was... down here all night.
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So dark.
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00:08:08,524 --> 00:08:10,658
Oh, my God. Peter, your hair.
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It turned white.
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What?
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00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:20,368
Well, I'm a fat dad with white hair now.
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Time to become an issue
at Hooters after 9:00 p.m.
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Hey, Ashley. Ashley.
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00:08:25,508 --> 00:08:27,342
Ashley.
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00:08:27,343 --> 00:08:29,979
I know... I know what car is your car.
187
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,985
So, how'd you get white hair again?
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He was scared of a ghost.
189
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Yes, I remember hearing
about this in med school.
190
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,657
Or was it a Scooby-Doo?
191
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,659
You think it's gonna stay, Dr. Hartman?
192
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,761
No, it's gonna be "Dr. Ramirez" now.
193
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I'm taking my husband's name.
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I'm talking about Peter's hair.
195
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,400
Oh, I'm sorry. Wedding on the brain.
196
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:57,603
But, uh, as for the white hair,
I'm afraid it's permanent.
197
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,373
Hi, sweetie.
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00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:01,874
We've discussed this.
199
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,276
No to the mole.
200
00:09:03,277 --> 00:09:05,978
Chocolate is for cake, not chicken.
201
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,780
Oh, come on.
202
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,482
He's crying.
203
00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:12,051
What do I do now?
I mean, should I dye it back?
204
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:15,054
I don't know why you'd ask me that.
205
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,789
I mean, I-I don't know anything
about that.
206
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,724
How does one even go about
dyeing one's hair?
207
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,426
I've never heard of anything so crazy.
208
00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,094
Let me get that for you, Doctor.
209
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,896
What? Oh, no, I'm-I'm not a...
210
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,765
Morning, Doctor.
211
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,767
Wow, Peter,
they all think you're a doctor
212
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,368
because of your white hair.
213
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:32,104
I have to say, it does make you
look more distinguished.
214
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,973
Really? Huh.
215
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,309
Well, maybe this will be
a good thing after all.
216
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:38,159
Like a garbageman with no nose.
217
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:42,281
Well, this is the best job in the world!
218
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,683
Rotting meat?
219
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,384
What does that smell like?
220
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,019
Oh, look, receipts.
221
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,355
I'll steal this person's identity.
222
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:52,124
From now on, I'm Robert Dibadeaux.
223
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,260
So long, stinkies!
224
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,476
Not that I would know.
225
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,867
All right, Chris,
it's gonna take a few steps
226
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,302
to get you off hard-core porn.
227
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,237
Now, the first step is soft-core porn,
228
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:06,706
where nothing really happens.
229
00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:11,610
Oh, wow, she is just riding
that guy's belly button.
230
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,612
Yep, that's all we had.
231
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,482
And you could watch this at any time?
232
00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:19,118
No, just Friday at 11:45 p.m.
233
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,553
And it was free?
234
00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:22,288
No, $45 a month.
235
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:25,224
Well, what was playing
the other 200 hours per week?
236
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,893
Uh, mostly D.A.R.Y.L.
The movie D.A.R.Y.L.
237
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:29,095
Was it any good?
238
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:30,596
It was okay.
239
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:33,165
Grandpa, what are you doing here?
240
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:35,001
Using the bathroom.
Where do you keep the nets
241
00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:36,869
that you put on the bottom
of guys' balls
242
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,704
to stop 'em from dunking in the water?
243
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:40,139
- What?
- What do you mean, "What?"
244
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,808
Where do you keep the nets
245
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:46,812
that you put on the bottom
of guys' balls
246
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:50,571
to stop them from dunking in the water?
247
00:10:54,723 --> 00:10:56,655
Oh, there's my silver fox.
248
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,691
What are you doing out here?
249
00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,159
Well, now that I've got white hair,
250
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,994
I fix my car in slow motion
251
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,697
in an ad for a supplemental
blood thinner.
252
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,499
I took Zanbrex
253
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,000
for over 15 years,
254
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,903
till I learned the benefits
of once-daily Sanguelto,
255
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:13,139
a latest-generation blood thinner.
256
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:16,075
When I'm at a multiracial
picnic for some reason,
257
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,511
the last thing I want to do
is have a stroke.
258
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,746
And thanks to once-daily Sanguelto,
259
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:23,816
I can eat potato salad
with chuckling strangers
260
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:25,718
with the confidence of someone who knows
261
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:28,988
he's 12% less likely
to suffer a stroke recurrence.
262
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:31,157
Thanks to Sanguelto, I can snuggle
263
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:33,692
with my age-appropriate wife
on a blanket
264
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,028
underneath
non-holiday-related fireworks.
265
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,597
I left her for six weeks back in 2009,
266
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:40,699
only to realize I was already too old
267
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,368
to bed the type of women
268
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,470
that would make
such a separation worth it.
269
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,539
So, here we are, grinding it out
270
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,307
till onef us has that second stroke
271
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,042
that you don't come back from.
272
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,180
Thank you, Sanguelto.
273
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,249
What's all this?
274
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,452
Well, a lot of kids'
first foray into sex
275
00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:01,554
is looking at someone else's porn stash.
276
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,823
So, here's a stack
of water-stained Playboys
277
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:06,392
that I found in a locker
at the town pool bathroom.
278
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,928
Okay, now we're talking.
279
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,834
Wait. I'm clicking on this thumbnail,
280
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,702
but the video isn't opening.
281
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:18,270
No, that's a still image.
282
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,572
See, you look at them,
283
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:22,241
and then your brain sort of
creates a scene for you.
284
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:25,010
I don't know. I think maybe
we should try something else.
285
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:26,912
I think you should give it a shot.
286
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,248
I think we should all go investigate
287
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:32,485
the still-unsolved murder
of Doris Billingsly,
288
00:12:32,486 --> 00:12:35,721
who never did anything
but overcook one dinner
289
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:38,719
in March of 1962.
290
00:12:43,359 --> 00:12:45,359
All right, I got next round.
291
00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:51,209
- Hey, Tom, you okay?
- She left me.
292
00:12:51,210 --> 00:12:54,406
Another sign from the universe
that I'll never find love.
293
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:57,443
Hey, come on, pal. There's
plenty of fish in the sea.
294
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,816
Wow.
295
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:06,118
You're right. There are.
296
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,988
Say, you've got a way about you,
297
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:11,957
a certain... trustworthy quality.
298
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,225
You know, we've got an opening
299
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,760
at the station for a senior analyst.
300
00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:17,396
I think your white hair
would be perfect for it.
301
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,098
Wow. Really? What do I do?
302
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:22,134
You just act like everyone else
is an idiot and shout over them.
303
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,711
- That way, you can...
- Shut up! I get it!
304
00:13:23,712 --> 00:13:25,638
Terrific. Hey, why don't you come down
305
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:26,805
to the station tomorrow and...?
306
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,141
- I know where you work!
- Again, terrific.
307
00:13:30,057 --> 00:13:31,810
Wow, this is awesome.
308
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:35,314
I haven't been on TV since
I had IBS on The Bachelorette.
309
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,484
Derek, I had such a magical weekend.
310
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,519
You are truly one of a kind.
311
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,522
And that's why I've decided to...
312
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:46,325
Excuse me. Uh, do-do you know
if I'm gonna get a rose?
313
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,027
We're getting to that, Peter.
314
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:51,363
Derek, that's why I've decided
to give you this rose.
315
00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:55,534
Evan, getting to see
your softer side was truly...
316
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:56,735
Excuse me.
317
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,604
I hate to be a bother, but do you...
318
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:00,539
do you know if I'll be receiving a rose?
319
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,974
Because if there's, uh, further delay,
320
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:03,442
I believe something's gonna happen
321
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:05,778
that will put me
out of contention for a rose.
322
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,614
And that thing just happened.
323
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:09,915
Farewell, and thank you
324
00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:12,117
for feeding me champagne
and shrimp all day.
325
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:18,524
Reporting live from Quahog Prison,
326
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,559
I'm Joe Horrigan, Channel Five News.
327
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,861
Thanks, Joe.
Great reporting, terrible eyes.
328
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,663
Switching gears now, I'd like to talk
329
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:26,732
about the crime situation
here in Quahog.
330
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:29,868
Joining me now is white-haired
contributor Peter Griffin.
331
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,638
Peter, what are you hearing
about crime in Quahog?
332
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:35,407
Uh... you know, not much.
333
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:38,010
Not much? Excuse us for one moment.
334
00:14:39,531 --> 00:14:40,946
- What are you doing?!
- What?
335
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:42,414
I don't know anything about crime.
336
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:45,084
So? People want to know that
bad stuff's going on out there.
337
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:46,485
That's why they watch the news.
338
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,654
- You want me to make stuff up?
- I don't know.
339
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:50,623
I thought you had white hair.
340
00:14:50,624 --> 00:14:53,826
- You're right, I do.
- Of course you do.
341
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,397
Now, you were talking about crime?
342
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,399
Crime is way up, and you know why?
343
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,834
'Cause of immigrants.
344
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:03,302
I say, as Americans,
345
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:05,738
we should all take a pledge
to kick 'em out.
346
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:09,141
Only pledge I stand for is Lemon Pledge.
347
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:18,817
Peter Griffin, white hair, very
credible, thank you so much.
348
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:21,453
Coming up, lost dog comes home...
349
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,689
one piece at a time.
350
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:29,928
Peter, that was amazing.
351
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,830
I'm the news director
here at Channel Five.
352
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:34,400
How would you like to do
what you just did every night?
353
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:35,968
Wipe a bloody booger under the desk?
354
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:37,970
No, I'm asking you to join us full-time
355
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:40,039
to be our permanent senior analyst.
356
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,374
Would you excuse me
while I step into another room
357
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:45,644
and celebrate like a girl in a
Rom-com who just got good news?
358
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,401
Aah! The Sanguelto!
359
00:15:50,402 --> 00:15:52,785
My blood's thinner than water!
360
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,355
If taking Sanguelto,
361
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:58,624
please refrain
from dancing like in a Rom-com,
362
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,693
as nosebleeds may be permanent.
363
00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:03,429
And remember, most drugs
are prescribed to you
364
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,597
because a hot girl
with a rolling suitcase
365
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,599
gave your doctor a free pen.
366
00:16:15,414 --> 00:16:17,582
Peter, what the hell
do you think you're doing?
367
00:16:17,583 --> 00:16:20,585
Who says you can just make
things up and call them facts?
368
00:16:20,586 --> 00:16:22,420
Tom Tucker did. He kissed me.
369
00:16:22,421 --> 00:16:24,956
You have a responsibility
as a member of the press
370
00:16:24,957 --> 00:16:27,158
to report the news accurately.
371
00:16:27,159 --> 00:16:30,595
You can't just say crazy things
that aren't in any way true.
372
00:16:30,596 --> 00:16:34,131
Yeah, leave that to the yahoos in D.C.
373
00:16:35,334 --> 00:16:37,912
- Did that get a "That's So Joe"?
- No!
374
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:39,677
Okay, well, what are the rules on that?
375
00:16:39,678 --> 00:16:41,145
We're still working that out.
376
00:16:41,146 --> 00:16:43,207
Well, let me know
when you decide on the rules.
377
00:16:43,208 --> 00:16:46,010
I'm really excited
about working on this.
378
00:16:46,011 --> 00:16:48,079
With you guys.
379
00:16:52,117 --> 00:16:54,752
Chris, welcome
to the lingerie department.
380
00:16:54,753 --> 00:16:56,287
What are we doing here?
381
00:16:56,288 --> 00:16:58,789
When I was young, seeing
these half-naked mannequins
382
00:16:58,790 --> 00:17:00,625
was all I needed to get me going.
383
00:17:00,626 --> 00:17:02,093
What's the endgame here...
384
00:17:02,094 --> 00:17:03,961
Him walking around Macy's with a chub?
385
00:17:03,962 --> 00:17:06,163
No, we've got
to reset his arousal meter.
386
00:17:06,164 --> 00:17:08,633
He needs to be able
to use his imagination again.
387
00:17:08,634 --> 00:17:10,835
Any of these mannequins
doing anything for you, Chris?
388
00:17:10,836 --> 00:17:12,837
Uh, I don't know.
389
00:17:12,838 --> 00:17:15,406
I guess the one
without a head is pretty cool.
390
00:17:15,407 --> 00:17:17,642
All right, that's... that's something.
391
00:17:17,643 --> 00:17:20,912
And that bin of chopped-up ones
over there... that could be okay.
392
00:17:20,913 --> 00:17:24,015
'Specially the one
that looks kind of afraid.
393
00:17:24,016 --> 00:17:26,017
There you go. Look at you.
394
00:17:26,018 --> 00:17:28,185
Sounds like someone is ready
for that date.
395
00:17:28,186 --> 00:17:29,687
Do you gentlemen need any help?
396
00:17:29,688 --> 00:17:30,922
No, thank you, dear.
397
00:17:30,923 --> 00:17:33,591
We're just trying
to get my brother to full mast.
398
00:17:36,628 --> 00:17:39,563
We want to welcome back our new
permanent senior analyst,
399
00:17:39,564 --> 00:17:41,532
Peter Griffin and his white hair.
400
00:17:41,533 --> 00:17:43,367
What's the latest on crime in Quahog?
401
00:17:43,368 --> 00:17:45,836
- Tom, crime is up.
- Wow. How high?
402
00:17:45,837 --> 00:17:48,450
- All the way to the top.
- Whoa. The top.
403
00:17:48,451 --> 00:17:50,841
Has it ever been all the way
to the top before, Peter?
404
00:17:50,842 --> 00:17:53,044
Never. In fact, we had to raise the top.
405
00:17:53,045 --> 00:17:55,713
So, the new top is even higher
than the old top?
406
00:17:55,714 --> 00:17:57,615
Yes, the old top is now the middle.
407
00:17:57,616 --> 00:17:59,183
And The Middle is a show
408
00:17:59,184 --> 00:18:01,886
that was inexplicably on ABC
for a very long time.
409
00:18:01,887 --> 00:18:03,354
How many seasons?
410
00:18:03,355 --> 00:18:05,556
It might be, like, 11.
I'm not even kidding.
411
00:18:05,557 --> 00:18:08,292
Peter Griffin, white hair, very
credible, thank you so much.
412
00:18:08,293 --> 00:18:10,394
Coming up, we'll tell you where to look
413
00:18:10,395 --> 00:18:13,397
when a person has a birthmark
on their face.
414
00:18:17,102 --> 00:18:19,971
So, Chris, have you weaned
yourself off of Internet porn?
415
00:18:19,972 --> 00:18:23,174
Wait. I thought the whole point
was to not wean myself off.
416
00:18:23,175 --> 00:18:26,043
No, Chris, I mean,
have you stopped...? Never mind.
417
00:18:26,044 --> 00:18:28,379
- You ready for your date?
- You bet I am!
418
00:18:32,568 --> 00:18:34,136
Hi, Chris.
419
00:18:35,304 --> 00:18:37,005
Hi, Kristen.
420
00:18:37,006 --> 00:18:39,474
Ready to see a Marvel movie,
'cause I chose?
421
00:18:39,475 --> 00:18:41,810
Sure. And for sure this is a real date,
422
00:18:41,811 --> 00:18:43,278
and me and the popular kids
423
00:18:43,279 --> 00:18:45,947
aren't gonna thrill-kill you tonight.
424
00:18:45,948 --> 00:18:48,750
I think Chris is gonna be just fine.
425
00:18:51,754 --> 00:18:54,423
Which is more than I can say
for our pizza.
426
00:18:57,093 --> 00:18:58,593
Oh, man.
427
00:19:06,803 --> 00:19:09,171
Well, I hope you're happy.
428
00:19:09,172 --> 00:19:12,441
You're telling lies on the news
just to boost your own ego.
429
00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:14,142
It's pronounced "Eggo," Lois,
430
00:19:14,143 --> 00:19:16,344
and I will thank you to leggo of mine.
431
00:19:16,345 --> 00:19:18,146
Peter, fake news is a real problem
432
00:19:18,147 --> 00:19:19,848
in this country right now,
433
00:19:19,849 --> 00:19:22,984
and I really don't want
my husband contributing to it.
434
00:19:22,985 --> 00:19:24,853
Maybe you're right.
435
00:19:24,854 --> 00:19:27,155
It doesn't feel good lying all the time.
436
00:19:27,156 --> 00:19:28,857
I guess I just like all the attention
437
00:19:28,858 --> 00:19:30,459
that came along with having white hair.
438
00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:33,128
Well, I don't think that's
the kind of attention you want.
439
00:19:33,129 --> 00:19:35,197
And it's certainly not
the kind of attention
440
00:19:35,198 --> 00:19:36,865
I want for our family.
441
00:19:36,866 --> 00:19:39,501
You know what?
If it means that much to you,
442
00:19:39,502 --> 00:19:41,803
I'll tell Tom
that I won't do it anymore.
443
00:19:41,804 --> 00:19:43,672
- Really?
- Really.
444
00:19:43,673 --> 00:19:46,208
Oh, Peter, that makes me so happy.
445
00:19:48,711 --> 00:19:50,712
Hello? Donald Trump?!
446
00:19:50,713 --> 00:19:52,380
You saw me on the news?
447
00:19:52,381 --> 00:19:55,383
You want me to be your press
secretary in the next episode?
448
00:19:55,384 --> 00:19:57,018
Why, sure, I'd love to!
449
00:19:57,019 --> 00:19:59,187
We'll get started drawing it right away.
450
00:19:59,188 --> 00:20:00,655
Lois, pack your bags.
451
00:20:00,656 --> 00:20:03,758
We're joining the Trump Administration.
452
00:20:09,565 --> 00:20:12,067
Just what Washington needs, huh?
453
00:20:12,068 --> 00:20:14,002
Another talking head.
454
00:20:15,805 --> 00:20:18,240
Oh, man.
455
00:20:21,395 --> 00:20:23,396
Next week on Family Guy...
456
00:20:23,397 --> 00:20:25,966
Hey, Dad, I want you
to meet my new friend, Meg.
457
00:20:25,967 --> 00:20:29,469
Pleased to meet you, Meg.
You have a beautiful rack.
458
00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:30,670
Oh, thanks.
459
00:20:30,671 --> 00:20:32,973
I was talking to my daughter.
460
00:20:40,314 --> 00:20:43,316
And now, please welcome
Mr. Bruce Jenner.
461
00:21:00,495 --> 00:21:03,264
Just wanted to remind you fellas
what you're all fighting for.
462
00:21:03,906 --> 00:21:07,412
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