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Previously on Felicity.
l told him l came from the future. Now he thinks l'm crazy.
l wouldn't go around blabbing that to everybody.
- l need to get back. - Not this again.
Korsakoff cannot be the only guy who's written a time travel spell.
What are you doing in my room, Ben?
Felicity was right.
She said this would happen, that Dad would have liver failure.
- You think she traveled back in time? - Yeah, l guess l do.
- What? - Noel's dead.
We have some release forms for you to sign.
Sure.
- This is all my fault. - No, it's not.
lf l wouldn't have come back here...
[desk clerk] Thank you.
Come on. Let's go.
- l can't believe it. - l know.
l can't. l mean, l-l...
l saw all these fire trucks blocking University Place today.
- l walked right by there. - [door opens]
We need to talk... Okay, who died?
- Noel. - Sean, you're not funny.
[Felicity] Meghan, it's true.
Noel was in a fire in the administration building.
Oh, my God.
Hey, you know... Maybe you can undo it.
- What do you mean? - l found Korsakoff.
- Oh, my God. - [Ben] The guy that wrote that book?
- He's the one whose spell we used. - This is the address.
Hi. l'm looking for Paul Korsakoff.
Sorry, not interested.
- l'm not buying anything. - l'm not selling anything.
My name is Felicity Porter and l need your help.
There's a book that you wrote. Mystical Incantations, Part Two.
- Who told you about that? - My friend did the time travel spell.
Did Fleming send you? This isn't funny any more!
- Tell him l burned the manuscript. - Wait! You burned it?
Tell him l admit the spells don't work, so he can stop with the harassment.
The time travel spell does work. That's why l'm here.
l've already done all of this. l've been a senior. l've already graduated.
All of this happened because l found out my boyfriend cheated on me.
My friend Meghan did your spell so l could come back
and be with this other really great guy who l'd always wanted to be with.
But now he's dead. You're the only one who can undo this.
So Fleming didn't send you.
No. l mean, l don't know who that is. l just came to see you.
♪ Can you become
♪ A new version of you
♪ New wallpaper, new shoe leather
♪ A new way home, I don't remember
♪ New version of you
♪ I need a new version of me
♪ New version of you
♪ I need a new version of me
- What's he gonna do with this stuff? - l don't know.
He said it's the only way he can get a sense of who everyone is.
- Can l get your watch? - Why?
Javier gave it to you and it might be helpful.
The spell only worked for Meghan because she already knew everything.
How do you know this guy's not just conning you?
l don't. But l have to do something.
The worst that can happen is the guy gets your watch.
l like this watch.
- All right. l'll give you the watch. - Thank you.
But l'm coming with you.
l think l should do this alone.
- l'll call you when l get back, okay? - Okay.
- Bye. - Bye.
l wasn't sure what to bring so l brought something from everyone.
l'm sure whatever you brought is fine.
You can put your box over on the couch.
[Felicity] So what do we do?
You start talking.
Uh... well, l don't know where to begin.
lt's been five years.
Or three and a half years.
Oh, God, l'm not even sure any more.
- Why don't you start at the beginning? - Okay.
Uh... l guess that would be the day l graduated high school.
Excuse me. l'm Felicity Porter.
- Yeah, l know. l'm Ben. - l know.
l was just wondering if you would mind signing my yearbook.
Can you give me just a minute to do this?
Oh, yeah. Sure. l'll...
[Felicity] So this is what Ben wrote.
''Dear Felicity. I've watched you for four years,
wondered what you were like
and what was going on in your mind all that time you were so quiet,
just thinking, drawing in your notebook. ''
''I should have asked you, but I never asked you. ''
''So now, four years later, I don't even know you. But I admire you. ''
''This makes me sound crazy but I'm okay with that. ''
''So take care of yourself. Love, Ben. ''
Where are you going to college?
- New York. What about you? - That's pretty unclear.
You went across the country for this?
Well, it was a lot more than that.
Wait! What are you doing?
lf this is gonna work, you have to leave the magic to me, no questions asked.
So this guy must have really freaked out when he realized you were stalking him.
l... l wasn't stalking him.
And actually, he handled it very well, considering.
ls my hair a disaster?
Please be honest because l have to live with this picture for four years.
- That's a really long time. - [Ben] Hey.
- What are you doing here? - Hi!
l'm... This is... l'm going... This is where l'm going.
- l totally forgot you were going here. - That is so unbelievable.
l know this girl from high school. This is Susan. This is um... This is um...
- Um... - Felicity.
Felicity. Wow. So l'll see you around.
How could you write that in my yearbook?
What?
''l watched you for four years, wondered what you were like.''
You wrote those words to me. Even the slightest behavior means something.
lt's like physics. Nothing happens without an effect.
- l never took physics. - Don't say you never took physics.
That's what you do. You play innocent and you're charismatic and you smile
and you made me fall for you and this is what's not fair.
- You knew it and you liked it. - Do l like that you like me? Of course.
l told you why l came here, you said you were flattered.
No, l was awkward.
l revealed a bit about myself in your yearbook and you changed your college.
- What are we talking about here? - l know you better than you think l do.
- Oh, you do? - Yes. l know all about your brother.
- What? - l read your application essay.
You read my essay?
Yes. l've done one questionably immoral thing in 1 7 years.
Wait. How did you read my essay?
How could you make me fall in love with you?
You're acting crazy. All l did was be nice to you.
l never asked you to come here. That was your choice.
How could think that you're in love with me? You don't even know me.
- Hey. - Hey.
Of course it was really hard being just friends.
- Given your intense feelings. - Yeah.
Wh-wh-what is that?
Don't worry about this. You just...just keep talking.
Okay. l guess l wouldn't have survived without Noel.
He was the RA on my freshman dorm floor.
Dad... All right. Sorry but this isn't about what Uncle Harvey deeply feels
l should be doing with my life.
Know what? l have to go. l'm gonna get off the phone, all right.
Okay. Can l hang up now, please?
Thanks. Bye.
- Sorry! Oh, God! - Sorry! l didn't mean to do that.
Uh...Felicity, right? l'm Noel.
l'm the RA. l'm not a stalker. l'm the resident advisor on the floor. Room 729.
Just stopping by to say ''Yo'' and ''Welcome'',
and if there's anything you need l'm kind of like the floor shrink
so just knock any time.
Have you ever felt like there's no solace in anything?
Like wherever you turn, you're just lost?
l mean, l've never felt so lost in every conceivable way before.
Okay. Help me. Go. Start.
Um... All right. Well, uh...
This is what l think. You're forgetting something very important.
You're forgetting who you are in the equation.
You gotta know you're gonna be fine. Okay?
- You think? - l do.
- [vomits] - Oh, no! Oh!
Oh, that really changes my whole attitude about you.
Oh. So sorry.
Okay. Here's my speech. This is the big speech from Noel.
Uh...you mustn't leave this school.
Why? Here's why.
Because this is a life struggle. This is fate. This is a challenge.
lf you turn away from this now, you will, and l promise you this,
be confronted by the same issue five years from now.
Or ten. You'll be the fancy doctor with the fancy practice,
you'll be married and you'll have like four phone lines in your home,
and then boom, it'll grip you like a blast of freezing cold air.
You know, ''What the hell is my life?''
And you'll be able to trace it back to this instant. This very moment.
When that geek RA gave you these four words of advice:
Stay in New York or perish.
Five...six words.
Let me just um... l just want to...
l mean, you don't...
...have...feelings for me, do you?
Me? Honestly?
Do you?
Yeah.
The guy let you vomit on him. Of course he had feelings for you.
Well, actually, l had feelings for him, too.
- [Felicity] Okay, now you're cheating. - [Noel] No, l've finished writing now.
- You go first. - These are words from the non-cheater.
- ''Street.'' - Got it.
- ''Take.'' - Yep.
''Taker.''
Excellent. ''Clue.''
''Stake.''
''Crete.'' Which l know is a proper noun. l just...
[mouths]
''Hick.'' And ''Hickey''.
- Wait a minute. - What?
- Oh, l'm just... - Oh, no, we weren't...
- Yeah. - Oh, God. l'm leaving.
l should uh...
l don't care what you're doing.
- l'm leaving. - l'll call you later.
- l'll get the letters. - Okay.
l think it's premium.
- What? - You having a forbidden affair.
l'm not having a forbidden affair.
l had you pegged for this uptight, no-fun,
like follow-the-rules, kiss-ass bore.
That's actually much closer to my personality...
You and the RA.
You just went up, like a notch.
What's going on?
l haven't thought about any of this stuff in so long.
l just can't believe Noel's gone.
Would it be okay if we just took a little break?
Oh. Uh...sure, yeah. l need to uh...get some matches anyway. Take your time.
- Are we okay? - Yes. l'm fine. Sorry about that.
- l brought you these just in case. - Thanks.
No problem. Let's not talk about Noel for a while.
Wh-what is that for?
Oh, nothing. l just really like it.
Tell me about...this.
That's from Dean & DeLuca, where l worked all through college.
One of the great things about in New York was,
l became friends with all these people l'd never have met in Palo Alto.
- No! You're Felicity's mother? - Yes.
[gasps] Oh!
Oh. Your daughter's an angel. You have no idea how much l love her.
Oh.
- l'm Javier. The manager. - l figured.
Okay. This is so emotional!
For me.
Does this look stupid or fantastic?
ls this good? Because it hurts a bit in the back.
My ex-boyfriend walked in. Nobody look.
- Where? - l said don't look!
He's the cute one over there, okay?
l had a crunch on him but he fell too in love with me,
then he became obsessive-compulsive.
- Benjamin, pretend we're dating. - No. There's no way...
[Ben] No way!
Oh, and then for my birthday, Benjamin gave me a bubble bath,
with a lot of candles and aromatherapy.
Benjamin, whisper into my earlobe.
- Javier, l quit. - You tease! You can't do that here!
Aren't l so lucky, going out with such a hunk?
So lucky.
Oh, wait. No, that's not him.
All right. Watch your eyes.
Big flash.
- l should quit, too. - Wait! What do you mean?
l mean it's not working.
Hey, you know what? Use this.
Meghan always uses my hair when she does the spells.
You mean your crazy Wiccan roommate?
From what l've heard, you two do not seem like such good friends.
No, l know. Meghan didn't think so either.
[Sean] What's it like living with Felicity?
It's like living with a TV that's always playing Little House on the Prairie,
only with more sweaters.
- Are... Are these yours? - Yeah.
They were in my refrigerator.
l know. l haven't done that since l was a kid. lt feels so good.
Cold underwear in the morning.
Could you do me a favor and not put your underwear in my fridge?
- Excuse me. Diabetic here. - What are you doing?
- Oh, hey. - That's the last Jell-O.
lt's the only thing l can eat in this crap house.
- l was just about to take that. - You snooze, you lose.
That's what you should have told Noel
when he threw a fit about you and the student.
You are nothing but a selfish, offensive freak show.
- l'm sick of everything about you. - Are you mad at me or something?
l just want my damn Jell-o back.
Give her back the Jell-o.
Elena seems like she's got some issues.
l mean, unless you really wanted that Jell-O.
Elena was a great friend. She could just be really tough when she wanted to be.
l'm warning you. Walk away.
Hey, come on. What now?
l could kick yo' ass.
- [Sean] Really? - Oh, yeah.
Perfect.
Jeez!
But deep down, Elena was a softie, especially about Tracy.
l think l said ''good'' because l don't want to be your boyfriend any more.
What?
l want to be your husband.
Oh, my God!
- What did she say? - She said yes.
And they planned this whole wedding. Javier was the wedding coordinator.
Uh...but then this whole thing happened and they didn't go through with it.
- But Meghan and Sean did. - Sean? Who's Sean?
Sean's just this amazing guy who makes all these crazy inventions.
Milk-less cereal. There's milk baked into every ''O''.
Water hydrates the evaporated milk, and what do you have?
A really disgusting breakfast.
Here's a great one. Okay.
lt's a combination sleep mask-alarm clock. Okay?
Every mask has its own personal alarm in it.
So you're just laying in bed and... [imitates alarm]
lt's your face going off. You're not bothering the person next to you.
You just... Oh. Time to get up.
- How about ''Smoothaise''? - Smoothaise? Smoothaise is terrible.
Think about it, okay? l'm developing a condiment, right?
lf there was no such thing as mustard and l said, ''What about mustard?''
Just read me what you got.
- Um... ''Fat-tastic.'' - Fat-tastic?
''Mustooze,'' ''Lardspread,'' ''Wasabegooz'', ''Spice-o-rio.''
The greatest party favor ever.
lt's a condom.
Oh, really? l've never seen one of those before.
Not one of these.
[plays Here Comes The Bride]
Sean has a little too much time on his hands.
No, he's just very enthusiastic. And nothing bothers him.
Well, nothing except Meghan.
- Do you think you're dating Bill Gates? - No.
l thought l was dating a guy who was open-minded enough
to let his girlfriend pay for a fun vacation because she can.
lt's not the Middle Ages. lt's not like we're living in the '80s.
- All right, fine. - What are you doing?
- [clucks] - Sean?
What are you doing?
Dr. Zwick said clucking ends an argument.
We agreed not to do that.
You want to come to my bar mitzvah? See my movie? Try my Smoothaise?
Tell me you didn't just wear that to temple.
No, l wasn't at temple. l was at the Fetish Ball, looking for you.
- Oh, that's...nice. - No, Sean, that's so sweet.
l don't want to talk right now. l just want to change.
[laughs]
Oh, ass-less pants. Sean.
Wait! What are you doing?
Did you just say ''ass-less pants?''
Tell me about this.
Well, they're just these tapes...
My friend Sally and l used to send them to each other,
and we'd tell each other personal things, you know.
Things that we'd never let anyone else hear.
[rock music]
So, where in California are you from?
[Felicity's voice on tape] ...in my life. I can actually...
Sally, I would only say this to you...
Could someone turn that off?
So after you listen to this tape, you have to erase it.
Someone turn that off, please!
I can actually picture what it might be like
to be with a man for the first time...sexually.
If you're laughing at me right now, I don't blame you.
- So who did you lose it to? - ls that really necessary?
- Len or Noel? - First of all, it's Ben.
Ben? Really?
No, l meant that's his name.
So your first time was with Noel.
No. But it should have been.
- Hey. - Hey.
- Can l come in? - Oh, yeah.
- What are you doing? - Nothing.
Um...
Can l... Can l get you anything? Maybe a... Oh.
A bottle of water?
Argh! l fell on something sharp. lt's...
lt's a hairbrush.
- Here. - Hold on, hold on!
- What's wrong? - Um...uh...
l was just thinking we should slow down, let me catch my breath,
not feel like this is being nationally televised, okay?
Noel... Whoa!
- l thought you locked the door! - You didn't give me a chance!
- Fire! - Okay, wait! Nobody panic!
- [alarm] - lt'll go out in a second!
Wait! Nobody panic! We can do this.
- Your room is on fire! - lt'll be out in a second.
Wait!
The real problem was Ben,
because once we started going out, he became interested.
So you got together with Noel and Ben was coming after you.
No, he wasn't coming after me.
He was just... l don't know.
For some stupid reason l have a hard time letting people...
Whatever.
Especially people that make me nervous.
l don't make you nervous.
Yeah, you do.
Anyway, that's...just a fact.
lt's part of who l am.
So... here.
So what did Noel think about all this?
Noel was fine with it... for the most part.
My God, l'm wickedly kicking your ass, which l've always wanted to do.
- Here. - Always. Ow!
[laughs]
- You did that on purpose! - So sorry. l'm sorry.
- l'm very sorry. - Damn it!
l'm sorry. l didn't do it on purpose. l'm sorry, l'm so sorry.
You know what? Here. Hit me back.
- What? - Just hit me. Hit me back.
- l'm not gonna hit you. - Come on. lt's payback.
- l'm not gonna hit you! - l hit you, you hit me.
Come on. You always wanted to kick my ass. Come on.
The thing is, there was always this... l don't know...
l can't explain it... This force between Ben and me.
l guess it had been there from the very beginning.
That is only an issue because in that moment we did not kiss.
So it's like this big, unanswered question.
Well, yeah. l think you're exactly right.
But he had let me down too many times and l just couldn't trust him.
lt was a really hard time for me
and l ended up doing some really stupid things.
♪ ..in a pot made of stone
♪ And which way we choose is all up to our own
♪ And this isn't my decision 'cause I've got no place to go
♪ I'm shooting underhand I know
♪ And I'm feeling such a low...
And then it just seemed like everyone had an opinion.
- About your haircut? - Well, actually, yeah.
But that's not what l meant.
Benjamin has changed and you cannot tell me that you have not noticed.
- l'm sure he has but... - But nothing!
You're blind to the new Benjamin for some reason.
You need glasses like me.
- Take mine. - Javier, l don't...
Take mine. Go ahead, put them on. Okay. You look nice, l think.
Now, do you see the new Benjamin?
And l did see the new Ben. l just...
l still saw Noel, too.
So basically you had these two guys who were in love with you.
l know, it doesn't seem like a real problem, but it was.
l mean, l loved them both. And l had to choose.
So?
So, l, uh... l walked around almost all night
...trying to figure out how to show you that you can trust me,
that l've changed, instead of telling you, 'cause...
l don't know. l just think l've used up all the words l've got.
l tried to think what was the one moment,
the sort of turning point where l blew it,
where l could have done the right thing but didn't.
lt was the night we were supposed to go see that movie.
- You remember. We... - The Gold Rush. Charlie Chaplin.
Yeah. l remember.
And l didn't show up.
Yeah. l remember that, too.
That's... That's the moment l'd take over if l could.
So this morning, l called around and l finally found it.
You know what that is?
Yeah. Yeah.
lt's a film canister.
No, it's a time machine.
♪ He was one in a long line
♪ Of people imitating me
♪ So just forget the things I used to say
♪ Chances are good but I don't feel that way any more
♪ It's hard to keep track
♪ But there's no going back
♪ Since I was born yesterday
♪ So let's pretend
♪ That we can start again
♪ We'll pick up where we left off...
[Korsakoff] So?
l chose Ben.
And in the process, ended up losing Noel.
l just can't believe Noel's dead.
Maybe that's what was supposed to happen.
- What do you mean? - Maybe that's what you came here for.
l didn't come back here to kill Noel.
No, not to kill him.
To let him go. You love two people.
- But you have to make a choice. - l told you. l did make a choice.
- Empty your pockets. - What?
You're holding onto something. l can't undo the spell until you let it go.
l forgot that l had this.
lt's a...key to Noel's apartment.
- We were supposed to live there. - Give it to me.
l know. This is scary.
But...your story's not over. Just...this chapter.
What... What you made here... lt will always be a part of you.
But you have to finish it.
Okay.
- There's one more thing you have to do. - What's that?
Seal it off.
[sad love song]
l told him all about Noel and about Sean and Meghan
and Elena and Javier.
- And about us. - What about us?
l told him how l followed you here.
[sighs] And how you gave me that necklace.
Remember when we watched that Charlie Chaplin movie up on the roof?
Yeah. The Gold Rush.
You called it a time machine.
[she breathes out]
What?
l guess l'm just afraid to go to sleep.
l mean, l don't know what's going to happen when l wake up.
l could still be here,
and then Noel would still be dead.
Or l could wake up in the future,
and you won't be next to me.
lf that happens, will you forgive me?
l'll try but what if l don't remember this?
- Listen to me. - What?
l want you to remember this moment.
l don't know what's going to happen in the future,
but l'm sorry for what l did.
lt was stupid, immature.
And it was unforgivable.
But you have to find a way to forgive me.
l don't know how.
But you have to.
Because l don't want to live my life without you.
[Sean] l think she's waking up.
[Meghan] Felicity, are you awake?
- Oh, thank God. She's alive. - Hey. How do you feel?
l'm... l'm fine. What's going on?
- You were sick last night. - Noel!
You're... You're okay.
Of course he's okay. You're the one who had the 1 04 fever.
[Javier] You were sweating and talking. lt was like The Exorcist, only scarier.
- Noel almost postponed the wedding. - That's right. You're getting married.
- To Zoe, right? - Mm-hm.
Oh, my God. l just had the weirdest dream.
Oh, my God. l thought you died in that fire.
Are you okay?
- Hey. - Hi.
l couldn't get him to go. Do you want me to...
No, no, no. lt's okay.
You were actually in my dream, too.
You rescued me from a psych ward.
Oh, Benjamin. Always our hero.
Can l talk to you? Can you guys give us a minute?
lt's fine.
- Noel. - Hm?
Um...you and Zoe are going to have a great life together.
- Thank you. - Weird that she dreamt Noel was dead.
What do you think that means?
Can l stay, please? Promise l won't say a word. Promise.
Okay, l get the message. Say goodbye to Javier.
You had a rough night, huh?
l guess so.
Look, l know you don't want to hear what l have to say...
but l am so sorry for what l did.
lt was stupid and immature.
And it was unforgivable.
And l know this is an impossible thing for me to ask,
but you have to find a way to forgive me.
Because l don't want to live my life without you.
Oh, my God. That's exactly what you said in my dream.
What did you say?
l didn't say anything.
But l know what l was thinking.
Which was that l don't want to live my life without you either.
l'm so sorry. l'm sorry.
l know.
Does this...mean...?
Yes. l forgive you.
♪ I will remember you
♪ Will you remember me?
♪ Don't let your life pass you by
♪ Weep not for the memories
♪ Remember the good times that we had?
♪ I let them slip away from us when things got bad
♪ How clearly I first saw you
♪ Smiling in the sun
♪ Wanna feel your warmth upon me
♪ I wanna be the one
♪ I will remember you
♪ Will you remember me?
♪ Don't let your life pass you by
♪ Weep not for the memories
♪ I will remember you
♪ Will you remember me?
♪ Don't let your life pass you by
♪ Weep not for the memories
♪ Weep not for the memories ♪