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www.tvsubtitles.net
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Okay, Ross.
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I realize that you didn't expect
to walk in and see that, but...
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- Let me explain, okay?
- We weren't doing anything!
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Rach, he just saw us.
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But what you saw,
that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
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- That's a lie! We also kissed in Barbados.
- Dude, chill!
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Okay, we also kissed in Barbados...
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...but we didn't plan it.
The only reason that that happened...
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...was because I saw you kiss Charlie.
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Yeah, you started it!
I have got to chill.
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Look, we probably should have talked to
you about this before it ever happened.
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- But...
- Oh, we feel so terrible about this, Ross.
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Yeah. But it did happen.
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So...
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Ross?
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Ross?
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Can we just close the door?
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The One Where Ross Is Fine
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Ross, say something.
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Anything.
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So you two are...?
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- Yeah.
- Yeah.
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And have you had...?
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- No. No, no, no.
- No. No.
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But if I hadn't walked in here,
would you...?
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Probably...
No. No.
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Ross, this is not how we wanted you
to find out about this.
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You have every right
to go nuts.
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I'm not going nuts.
Do you see me going nuts?
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No, but you know what I mean.
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If you two are happy...
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...then I'm happy for you.
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I'm fine.
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- Really?
- Absolutely.
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I'm fine.
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Totally fine.
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I don't know why it's coming out
all loud and squeaky...
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...because, really, I'm fine.
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I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised
to see you guys kissing.
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I mean, at first I was like:
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But now that I've had time
to absorb it...
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Loving this.
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- Ross...
- It's all working out.
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Me and Charlie.
And you two.
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- You know what we should do?
- Calm ourselves?
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No.
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We should all have dinner.
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Yes, we'll do it tomorrow night.
I'll cook!
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Look, don't you think
that would be a little weird?
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Weird? What? What's weird?
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The only thing weird would be
if someone didn't like Mexican food...
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...because I'm making fajitas!
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I do like fajitas.
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God, this adoption stuff
is so overwhelming.
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There's inter-country adoption,
dependency adoption.
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There's so many ways to go, and this is,
like, the biggest decision of our lives.
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There's a hair in my coffee.
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Hey, guys.
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Have you seen Frank Jr.?
He's meeting me here with the triplets.
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It's funny,
every time you say "triplets"...
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...I think of three hot,
blond 19-year-olds.
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That's sweet.
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Drink your hair.
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Hey, what's all this stuff?
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They're brochures
from different adoption agencies.
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Babies! Oh, this one is so cute.
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Get this one.
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That's not really how it works.
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- Oh, how does it work?
- I don't know!
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If you're having a hard time,
you should talk to my friends...
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...Bill and Colleen. They adopted
a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.
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Thanks, that would be great.
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Hey, honey,
wouldn't that be great?
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All right, all right.
Remember what we talked about.
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When we're in a public place,
there are certain rules.
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That's not what we talked about!
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- Hi, Frank.
- Hi.
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- Good to see you.
- Good to see you too.
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- Hi, Frank.
- Hi. Hey, how you doing?
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Oh, my goodness, they've all gotten
so big. Which one is which again?
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Well, that's Frank Jr. Jr...
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...pulling the tampons out
of the lady's purse.
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And that's Chandler
climbing on Chandler.
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That's Leslie throwing bagels at him.
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"Willing to adopt triplets?" No.
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Can I just say, I know we're doing this
for Ross and that's cool.
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But if it was up to me, this is not what
we'd be doing on our first date.
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Well, what would we be doing?
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I'd take you out
for a romantic night.
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Some champagne, fancy dinner,
feel you up on the carriage ride home.
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Feel me up?
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In a carriage.
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- Hey, Charlie!
- Hi.
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- Hi.
- Hey.
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So...
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...dreading this?
- Oh, you bet.
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So did you bring
a little something for Ross?
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Actually, it's some stuff you left
at my apartment.
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Well, thanks.
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And you can just give me
my stuff whenever you want.
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Yeah, I didn't throw any of that out.
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I thought I heard voices.
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Hi, Charlie.
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Hey, Joey.
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And, oh, you're gonna have
to introduce me to your new girlfriend.
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I'm just kidding. I know Rachel.
I know...
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Come. Please come in.
Come in.
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Okay.
Well, we brought you some wine.
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That is so thoughtful.
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She's a keeper.
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- And what did you bring me, huh?
- Actually, that's...
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Underwear, a toothbrush...
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...and a Van Halen CD.
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I can use all these things!
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Gosh, Ross, you know,
you seem a little...
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What? Fine? Because I am.
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Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't...?
You see?
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Who else is fine?
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Come on.
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Listen. Why don't you try to relax.
Maybe have a drink.
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You know what,
that is a very good idea.
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I'm gonna go make
a pitcher of margaritas.
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Oh, God.
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So adorable.
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Look at them,
sleeping there like angels.
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Yeah, I really cherish
these moments...
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...because before you know it,
they're gonna be awake again.
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Well, they may be a handful...
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...but they're so cute.
- Yeah.
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Oh, God, last time I babysat them,
they did the funniest thing.
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I haven't slept in four years.
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That's a long time.
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You just don't know
how hard it is, Phoebe.
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There's just so many of them.
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You know, two I could handle.
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Two's great.
You just hold one in each hand.
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What do I do when the third one runs
at me with his bike helmet on?
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I got no more hands
to protect my area.
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There's three of them, Phoebe.
Three.
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Yeah, I know, Frank.
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I counted them when they
were coming out of my area.
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Sometimes, I think that...
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Oh, no, no, no, I can't say it.
It's too horrible. No.
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What?
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No, no, I can't.
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Oh, my God, Frank.
Are you thinking of leaving?
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Because I didn't have those triplets
so you could run out on them.
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Oh, no, I would never do that.
No. I just...
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...was thinking that, you know,
maybe you could take one.
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What?
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You can't separate them, that's terrible!
Which one?
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Thank you so much for seeing us.
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Phoebe has told us great things
about you guys.
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Please, we're happy to help.
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We went through the same thing
when we were adopting.
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So a lot of malfunctioning wee-wees
and hoo-hoos in this room, huh?
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I mean, you have a lovely home.
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We appreciate anything
you can tell us.
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Well, actually,
I think this might help.
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It's pretty much...
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...all the information you need.
- Oh, my God.
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Everything is broken into categories,
then cross-referenced.
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Then color-coded to correspond
with the forms in the back.
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Thank you.
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I think I just had a tiny orgasm.
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I know the process is frustrating,
but it's so worth it.
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Adopting Owen was the best thing
that ever happened to us.
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That's great. Can I see the book?
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You want me to wash
my hands first, don't you?
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Please. It's just so pretty and white.
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Bathroom is down the hall to your left.
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I would have told him to do it too.
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Can I adopt you?
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- Hey, you must be Owen.
- Yeah.
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I'm Chandler.
Hey, I was in the Scouts too.
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- You were?
- In fact, my father was a den mother.
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You know how to use a compass?
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I have a badge in it.
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- You do? That's fantastic.
- You want to see it?
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I'd love to, but I gotta get back
to your parents.
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They're telling us
about how they adopted you.
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What?
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What?
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I'm adopted?
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I got nothing.
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Well, that first batch of margaritas
was not so great...
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...but this second batch is good.
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Well, maybe the next batch,
we could all get some.
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Oh, God, this is fun, isn't it?
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You know, just the four of us.
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Just hanging.
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Dude, are you okay?
194
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:22,811
And when are the fajitas
gonna be ready?
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I'm fine, okay? I'm great.
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I'm just...
I'm just proud of us.
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You know?
There's no weirdness, no tension.
198
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,771
No awareness.
199
00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:39,693
We make a great foursome.
We should do more stuff together.
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Let's take a trip!
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Okay, where do you think we can go?
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My fajitas!
203
00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:54,532
Look, Charlie,
I just want you to know...
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...Ross is just having a little trouble
adjusting to the thought of Joey and me.
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You know, he normally
doesn't drink like this.
206
00:12:01,340 --> 00:12:04,457
You know what, this is nothing.
My father is a raging alcoholic.
207
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I'm sorry, have I made
this evening uncomfortable?
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Fajitas! Be careful!
Very hot plate! Very hot!
209
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:18,931
Ross, you don't
even have oven mitts on.
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That is gonna hurt tomorrow.
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00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:29,333
Okay, well, this is crazy.
212
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:32,896
We can't seriously be talking about me
taking one of your kids, can we?
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00:12:33,060 --> 00:12:34,573
Oh, no, of course we're not.
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- That's insane.
- I know.
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00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:37,899
Alice would never go for it.
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She's pretty tired too.
I think we could get her on board.
217
00:12:42,740 --> 00:12:46,972
Well, just for argument's sake,
you know, hypothetically...
218
00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:49,176
...which one
would you be willing to give up?
219
00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:52,772
Frank Jr. Jr.?
220
00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:55,210
You'd be getting a really good one.
221
00:12:55,380 --> 00:12:57,974
I mean, you know,
he's really funny.
222
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Like, the other day,
he made up this joke:
223
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What's green and says,
"Hey, I'm a frog"?
224
00:13:06,460 --> 00:13:08,496
A talking frog.
225
00:13:10,580 --> 00:13:13,697
Oh, no, you can't have him,
he's too funny.
226
00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:17,253
Well, all right, that's fine.
What about Leslie?
227
00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:19,496
Oh, no, no, not Leslie. No.
228
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She's the only one that knows how
to burp the alphabet.
229
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All right, so that leaves Chandler.
230
00:13:26,340 --> 00:13:29,412
No, no, you can't have Chandler.
No, no. She's my little genius.
231
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I got big hopes for her.
232
00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:34,775
She's gonna be a doctor
or a realtor.
233
00:13:37,380 --> 00:13:41,009
Wow, Frank,
I think we just ran out of kids.
234
00:13:42,220 --> 00:13:44,131
Oh, I think you're right.
235
00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:51,451
Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think
I can give one of them up.
236
00:13:51,620 --> 00:13:55,215
I mean, you know, they drive me crazy,
but they're my babies.
237
00:13:57,660 --> 00:14:00,777
I'm sorry, Frank,
I didn't realize things were so bad.
238
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:04,057
You know, I'll help out more.
I can babysit anytime you want.
239
00:14:04,220 --> 00:14:05,812
You name the day and I'll be there.
240
00:14:05,980 --> 00:14:08,255
- How about tomorrow?
- Well, that's not good.
241
00:14:09,220 --> 00:14:12,212
But I can move some stuff around
and I'll be there.
242
00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:14,496
You and Alice just take
the whole day together.
243
00:14:14,660 --> 00:14:16,571
You'd do that for us?
244
00:14:16,780 --> 00:14:18,930
Are you kidding?
That's what sisters are for.
245
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:27,015
Oh, look at them.
246
00:14:28,060 --> 00:14:30,779
I love you so much.
247
00:14:31,420 --> 00:14:34,332
Oh, crap, don't wake up!
Don't wake up!
248
00:14:37,140 --> 00:14:40,132
- Where are Bill and Colleen?
- Kitchen, getting something to eat.
249
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:41,813
Can you believe
how nice they are?
250
00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:43,208
We have to leave.
251
00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:47,573
Why?
What did you do in the bathroom?
252
00:14:47,740 --> 00:14:50,459
I didn't get to the bathroom.
I bumped into Owen on the way.
253
00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:53,214
He didn't know he was adopted.
There's a slight chance...
254
00:14:53,380 --> 00:14:54,699
...I may have told him.
255
00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:58,257
Oh, my God, where's my purse?
No, I can replace everything in there.
256
00:14:58,420 --> 00:15:00,729
- Get that binder and let's go!
- Hi.
257
00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:03,337
Some little snacks for everybody.
258
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:06,378
You don't have to eat the sour worms.
Those are for Owen.
259
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:08,373
I'll go get him in a second.
260
00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:11,777
By the way, you should know,
we haven't told him he's adopted yet.
261
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,536
But kids are so intuitive.
262
00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:16,930
Don't you think, on some level,
he already knows?
263
00:15:17,140 --> 00:15:20,337
- I'm adopted?
- See? Intuitive.
264
00:15:20,860 --> 00:15:22,771
What? Where did you hear that?
265
00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:24,049
He told me.
266
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:29,010
And he paid me 50 dollars not to tell.
267
00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:32,094
Which, technically,
now you should give back.
268
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,809
You told him he's adopted?
269
00:15:36,980 --> 00:15:39,574
I'm sorry. You should have
a sign out there or something.
270
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:42,777
Or at least whisper it to people
when they come in the door.
271
00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:46,296
"Owen doesn't know he's adopted,
and he also thinks Santa is real."
272
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,172
He isn't?
273
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:51,575
We have to get out of here, baby.
274
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:57,890
Everyone, I would like
to make a toast...
275
00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:00,853
...to Rachel and Joey.
276
00:16:02,820 --> 00:16:05,698
And to love.
277
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,619
Ah, love!
278
00:16:11,620 --> 00:16:13,815
L-O-V-E. Love.
279
00:16:13,980 --> 00:16:16,016
L is for "life."
280
00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:18,648
And what is life without love?
281
00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:22,134
Oh, my God, are we supposed
to answer?
282
00:16:23,580 --> 00:16:26,697
O is for:
283
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,690
"Oh, wow!"
284
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:35,936
The V is for this...
285
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:39,934
...very surprising turn of events...
286
00:16:40,220 --> 00:16:43,656
...which I am still fine with,
by the way.
287
00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:47,371
E...
288
00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:51,778
...is for how...
289
00:16:51,940 --> 00:16:55,728
...extremely normal I find it...
290
00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:57,936
...that you two...
291
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:00,334
...are together.
292
00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:05,776
And that one day
you might get married...
293
00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:10,738
...and have children of your own.
294
00:17:14,460 --> 00:17:17,611
- Dude, are you okay?
- Totally.
295
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:20,899
Ross, you don't seem okay.
296
00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:24,410
I'm sorry, it must be
the pressure of entertaining.
297
00:17:27,820 --> 00:17:31,290
I think everyone would
feel better if we had some flan.
298
00:17:31,820 --> 00:17:34,971
Wait, Ross. Ross, l...
I have to take off.
299
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:36,818
- No!
- I'm sorry.
300
00:17:36,980 --> 00:17:39,289
I have an early class in the morning.
301
00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:43,055
But this has been lovely.
302
00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:47,659
Wasn't it? And you thought it
would be awkward with Joey.
303
00:17:47,820 --> 00:17:50,095
And that you never
really liked Rachel.
304
00:17:51,140 --> 00:17:55,258
You are on fire!
I'll call you in the morning, okay?
305
00:17:55,420 --> 00:17:57,012
- Okay.
- All right.
306
00:17:59,980 --> 00:18:02,096
God, Rachel, what Ross just said,
that's just...
307
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:04,575
That's okay.
Girls tend not to like me.
308
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:07,092
Fine.
309
00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:12,769
Okay. I guess it's just flan for three.
310
00:18:14,620 --> 00:18:16,611
Hey, that rhymes.
311
00:18:18,780 --> 00:18:21,817
You know what, Ross,
I think we're gonna take off too.
312
00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:26,657
Of course. God, I'm so stupid.
313
00:18:26,820 --> 00:18:28,299
You guys are a couple now.
314
00:18:28,460 --> 00:18:30,815
I mean, you probably
just want to be alone.
315
00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:34,490
- No, it's just getting late...
- It's fine. It's totally fine.
316
00:18:34,660 --> 00:18:37,493
I've got plenty of margaritas.
It's all good.
317
00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:46,134
I don't even know what that's for.
318
00:18:51,420 --> 00:18:52,933
You know what?
319
00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:56,132
I think I'm gonna stay here
and make sure he's okay.
320
00:18:56,340 --> 00:18:59,332
- That's probably a good idea.
- I'll see you in the morning.
321
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:00,933
Okay.
322
00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:03,136
Yeah, you know, Joey, l...
323
00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:06,656
I don't think he's ever
gonna be okay with this.
324
00:19:06,860 --> 00:19:08,976
It doesn't look good, does it?
325
00:19:28,140 --> 00:19:29,539
Morning.
326
00:19:29,740 --> 00:19:32,254
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
327
00:19:32,620 --> 00:19:36,215
- Did you stay here all night?
- Yeah.
328
00:19:37,620 --> 00:19:40,692
So you took off my pants and shoes?
329
00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:42,413
No. No, no.
330
00:19:42,580 --> 00:19:46,539
You actually did that when you
were dancing to the Chicago soundtrack.
331
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:51,572
Look, Ross...
332
00:19:51,740 --> 00:19:55,050
...about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't
have to worry about that...
333
00:19:55,220 --> 00:19:57,415
...because nothing's gonna happen.
334
00:19:57,620 --> 00:19:59,850
What do you mean?
335
00:20:00,340 --> 00:20:01,978
She and I said from the beginning...
336
00:20:02,140 --> 00:20:04,938
...we weren't gonna do anything
unless you were okay with it.
337
00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:06,533
And clearly...
338
00:20:06,740 --> 00:20:09,334
What are you talking about?
I'm fine.
339
00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:13,135
It's okay, Ross.
You know, I totally understand.
340
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:15,939
Of course you're not fine. You're...
341
00:20:17,740 --> 00:20:19,617
You're Ross and Rachel.
342
00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:23,575
Yeah, except we're not.
343
00:20:24,340 --> 00:20:27,696
I mean, we haven't been
a couple in, like...
344
00:20:29,580 --> 00:20:31,775
...six years.
345
00:20:33,220 --> 00:20:35,814
My God, is that right?
346
00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:37,973
Has it been that long?
347
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:41,095
That's what I hear, yeah.
348
00:20:42,540 --> 00:20:46,169
This is crazy.
I mean, six years...
349
00:20:46,340 --> 00:20:49,491
...and because of me,
you guys aren't gonna be together?
350
00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:52,697
Can I ask you something?
351
00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:54,259
Really...
352
00:20:55,140 --> 00:20:57,574
...what is this thing
with you and Rachel?
353
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:03,129
Come on, you know me.
You know...
354
00:21:04,460 --> 00:21:05,449
Joey.
355
00:21:11,860 --> 00:21:13,896
I'm crazy about her.
356
00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:21,453
And she feels the same way?
357
00:21:23,340 --> 00:21:25,331
I think so.
358
00:21:27,660 --> 00:21:29,252
Well, then...
359
00:21:29,420 --> 00:21:31,695
...maybe it's time
we all moved on.
360
00:21:32,220 --> 00:21:34,688
Yeah, but, Ross, I mean,
you're not okay with it, so...
361
00:21:34,900 --> 00:21:38,051
No, but I want to be.
362
00:21:39,780 --> 00:21:41,532
I will be.
363
00:21:44,340 --> 00:21:46,979
Besides, I'm with Charlie, right?
364
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:49,529
Oh, my God,
I'm still with Charlie, aren't I?
365
00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:52,294
- She didn't see the dance, did she?
- No, no, no.
366
00:21:53,340 --> 00:21:56,935
No, that was...
That was just for me.
367
00:22:00,380 --> 00:22:02,098
Hey, you...?
368
00:22:02,260 --> 00:22:04,091
You sure about this?
369
00:22:04,300 --> 00:22:06,860
Yeah, I'm sure.
370
00:22:09,060 --> 00:22:10,334
And...
371
00:22:11,260 --> 00:22:13,171
...we're okay?
372
00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:25,938
- Hey, Pheebs.
- Hey.
373
00:22:26,100 --> 00:22:27,692
We just want to give
you a heads up.
374
00:22:27,860 --> 00:22:29,851
Bill and Colleen hate us.
375
00:22:30,060 --> 00:22:32,335
Owen didn't know he's adopted
and Monica told him.
376
00:22:32,500 --> 00:22:33,853
What?
377
00:22:34,060 --> 00:22:35,857
Still, he had to find out sometime.
378
00:22:36,020 --> 00:22:40,013
How would you like it if someone told
the triplets that you gave birth to them?
379
00:22:44,180 --> 00:22:46,648
I'm gonna go tell Emma
she was an accident.
380
00:22:51,300 --> 00:22:52,289
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group
381
00:22:52,460 --> 00:22:53,449
[ENGLISH]