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www.tvsubtitles.net
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- So you and Rachel tonight, huh?
- Yeah.
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Yeah, it's actually
our first official date.
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Wow, so tonight may be the night.
You nervous?
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No. This is the part
I'm actually good at.
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What must it be like not to be
crippled by fear and self-Ioathing?
7
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It's okay.
8
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How can you be so confident?
9
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Well, I know exactly
what I'm gonna do.
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- Really? Like, you have a routine?
- No. See, each woman is different.
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You have to appreciate
their uniqueness.
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- Really?
- No, I do six things.
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First, I look deep into her eyes,
then I kiss her.
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Next, I take my hand
and I softly graze her thigh.
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You mean like this?
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No, not like that. No, no.
No, like this:
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I see what you mean.
That's quite nice.
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- More foosball?
- And beer.
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The One With Ross's Tan
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- Hey.
- Hey.
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Hey, sweetie.
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Hey, stop staring at my wife's legs.
23
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No, no. Stop staring
at your sister's legs.
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I'm sorry, it's just...
How'd you get so tan?
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She went to one of those
spray-on tan places.
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You got a spray-on tan?
27
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Chandler gets pedicures!
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What? You do?
Like, with the toe separators?
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Why? Why?
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I can't believe that's sprayed on.
31
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I mean, it looks really good.
I wonder if I should get one.
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Sure, then you should get a miniskirt
so you can really show it off.
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So do you get colors
or just French tips?
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- Here. Here's their card.
- Thanks.
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Hey, I know where this place is.
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It used to be an X-rated video...
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Florist.
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- Hey.
- Hey, Pheebs.
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You won't believe
who moved back to town.
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I know. Amanda.
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- She called me too. She's the worst.
- Who's Amanda?
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She's this girl who lived in the building
before you did.
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Then she moved to England and
picked up this fake British accent.
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On the machine, this is her message:
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"Monica, darling, it's Amanda calling."
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Are you trying to do a British accent?
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Chandler gets pedicures.
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Just so I know, how many more
of those can I expect?
49
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Know what Amanda said
when she called me?
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"Oh, so sorry to catch you
on your mobile."
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If you didn't wanna get me on my mobile,
then don't call me on my mobile.
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And she always brags about
all the famous people she's met.
53
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Oh, I know!
54
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"I slept with Billy Joel."
55
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All right, who hasn't?
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What are we gonna do?
I don't wanna see her.
57
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Let's just cut her out.
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- What?
- Cut her out of our lives.
59
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Just ignore her calls
and dodge her till she gets the point.
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Well, I guess we could try that.
But it seems so harsh.
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- Have you ever done that?
- No. Had it done to me, though.
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Feels good.
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All right, Mr. Geller, right this way.
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So how dark do you wanna be?
We have one, two or three.
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Well, I like how you look.
What are you?
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- Puerto Rican.
- Two. I think a two.
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You'll face the red light.
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When the light's on, the spraying's
about to start, so close your eyes.
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When the spraying stops,
count to five...
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...pat yourself to avoid drip marks,
then turn to get your back. Got it?
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00:05:02,110 --> 00:05:06,262
Spray, count, pat and turn.
Spray, count and pat.
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- You catch on quick.
- Well, I have a Ph.D., so...
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One Mississippi,
two Mississippi, three...
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Wait, wait!
I'm not... I'm not finished counting!
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You sprayed my front twice!
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- You never turned?
- No! I barely got to "three Mississippi"!
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Mississippi? I said count to five.
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Mississippi-less-ly?
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Well, how bad is it?
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Not that bad yet. But it gets
darker for the next four hours.
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- So how dark will it get?
- You got sprayed with two twos and...
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I'm a four?
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Yeah, but your back's a zero.
You'll wanna even that out.
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Really?
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- You might wanna get back in there.
- Oh, okay!
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Wait a minute,
there's no light on the back wall.
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How do I know
when it's gonna start? Hello?
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My eyes!
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The same thing happened again!
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- You got two more twos?
- I'm an eight!
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Thanks for dinner.
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I thought you paid.
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Guess we won't be going back there.
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- So...
- Yeah.
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Hey, what do you say we move this
onto the likes of the couch?
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I say cheesy line, but okay.
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- What's the matter?
- I don't know. I'm sorry.
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- I don't know why I did that.
- Okay.
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Okay. Sorry.
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I'm sorry. Again, I don't know
what happened. I must be nervous.
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I don't get it. Chandler loved it.
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I promise. I won't do it again.
I really do. This is gonna be great.
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- Okay.
- Okay.
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Was that good for you?
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No, don't get it.
Let the machine pick up.
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Yeah, it could be Rachel asking
if someone could babysit again.
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- It could be Amanda.
- Oh, you're right.
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I was just kidding about Rachel.
Babysitting's a gas.
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Hello, Monica.
It's Amanda calling again.
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I'm in the neighborhood,
hoping I could pop by your flat.
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You're from Yonkers!
Your last name is Buffamonteezi!
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Let's see.
So should you get this directly...
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... ring me back on my mobile.
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Okay, don't hold thy breath.
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- Hello? Is someone on the line?
- Yes. I was looking for Monica.
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Hang on, she's right here.
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- Someone's on the phone for you.
- We weren't picking up. It's Amanda.
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I get pedicures.
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Hi, Amanda.
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Actually, now is not a good time.
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Dinner tomorrow night?
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Okay, Phoebe and I will see you then.
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Why? Why?
Why didn't you just say no?
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Well, I said no to her coming over now.
I couldn't say no twice.
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I got this uncontrollable need
to please people.
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Fine. Fine. You would not
hold up well under torture.
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- Oh, and you would?
- I did.
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- Rach, are you sure you wanna do this?
- Absolutely.
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It's just a little weird.
It's you, and it's me.
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- It'll just take some getting used to.
- Okay.
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Okay, well, how can
we make it easier?
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Okay. Let's work from the top down.
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- Just work the bra, Joe.
- Okay, got it, yeah. Absolutely.
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- Okay.
- Okay.
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- Is this thing welded shut?
- Okay.
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All right, turn around.
I gotta get a look at this thing.
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Sorry.
138
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Well, this is romantic.
139
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I'm sorry. This has never
happened to me before.
140
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I'm an expert at taking off bras.
I could do it with one hand.
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I could do it with my eyes closed.
Once I just looked at one...
142
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...and it popped open.
143
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- I blame your bra.
- It's a standard-issue bra clasp.
144
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Then I blame you. Yeah. That's right.
You threw me off with all your slapping.
145
00:11:32,310 --> 00:11:36,269
Okay, look, I'm really sorry
about that, Joey.
146
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But do you think maybe, on some level,
you don't want to take off my bra?
147
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No, I don't have another level.
148
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Hold on. There's something different.
149
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I went to that tanning place
your wife suggested.
150
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Was that place the sun?
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Oh, and it gets worse.
152
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Oh, my God, you can do a duet
of "Ebony and Ivory" all by yourself.
153
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How could you mess this up?
It's so easy.
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You go in the booth,
count to five and turn around.
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- How do you count to five?
- One, two, three...
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Damn it!
157
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I know!
158
00:12:41,310 --> 00:12:44,268
What is up with Miss Hawaiian Tropic?
159
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How was your date with Joey?
160
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Well, it was good,
until we got back to our apartment.
161
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And then we were fooling around and
he started to put his hand up my leg...
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...and I kept slapping it away.
163
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You didn't like that?
164
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Well, it wasn't just me, all right?
He freaked out too.
165
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He couldn't even undo my bra.
166
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Really? One time he just looked
at my bra and it popped open.
167
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I do not know what's wrong with us.
168
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We've kissed before
and that's been great.
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But this time
it was leading somewhere...
170
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...and I was very aware of the fact
that it was Joey touching me.
171
00:13:22,070 --> 00:13:23,901
You guys have been friends forever.
172
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The first time you kissed Ross
was weird.
173
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You couldn't stop laughing.
You got through that.
174
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Okay. That's true.
That's true, we can do this.
175
00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:36,427
You're right. We can do this.
We'll just power through.
176
00:13:36,590 --> 00:13:38,706
Chandler, can I talk to you
for a second?
177
00:13:38,870 --> 00:13:42,340
No need, problem solved.
We are powering through.
178
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Chandler, stop.
It's not going to pop open.
179
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You don't know.
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- Hi, Phoebe.
- Hey.
181
00:13:58,990 --> 00:14:01,140
- Is Amanda here yet?
- No.
182
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I'm sorry for screwing up that "cutting
her out" plan, but I have a new plan.
183
00:14:05,270 --> 00:14:08,262
Chandler will call in a few minutes
with an emergency.
184
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:11,422
Okay, what kind of emergency
gets us both out of here?
185
00:14:11,590 --> 00:14:15,139
What do you think of Mike and Chandler
being in a car accident?
186
00:14:15,670 --> 00:14:18,309
- Are you kidding? I love it!
- Okay.
187
00:14:19,550 --> 00:14:21,939
- Hi.
- Hi.
188
00:14:22,590 --> 00:14:24,467
Hello!
189
00:14:25,670 --> 00:14:27,661
It's so nice to see you.
190
00:14:27,830 --> 00:14:31,789
Both of you, look at me.
Look how young I look!
191
00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:36,150
Oh, gosh, we have
so much to catch up on.
192
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:41,430
But first things first. Touch my abs.
I don't exercise at all.
193
00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:44,309
Oh, gosh. So, Monica, you're married.
194
00:14:44,470 --> 00:14:48,588
- Yeah, his name is Chandler and he's...
- Oh, smell my neck.
195
00:14:48,830 --> 00:14:53,824
It's not perfume. It's me.
It's my natural scent.
196
00:14:55,790 --> 00:14:57,542
Musty.
197
00:14:58,390 --> 00:15:02,463
Gosh, this is brilliant.
Gosh, it's just like old times.
198
00:15:02,630 --> 00:15:05,190
I'm so happy you two
are friends again.
199
00:15:05,750 --> 00:15:08,469
- When were we not friends?
- Well, it was 1992.
200
00:15:08,630 --> 00:15:13,226
And I remember, because that was
the year I had sex with Evel Knievel.
201
00:15:14,590 --> 00:15:16,228
We were friends in 1992.
202
00:15:16,390 --> 00:15:19,427
No, I distinctly remember
you were dodging her calls...
203
00:15:19,590 --> 00:15:21,660
...and trying to avoid seeing her.
204
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:26,663
- You were going to cut me out?
- Well, kind of.
205
00:15:26,830 --> 00:15:28,741
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, bugger.
206
00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:34,223
Should I not have said that?
I feel like a perfect arse.
207
00:15:35,950 --> 00:15:38,464
Well, in America, you're just an ass.
208
00:15:42,990 --> 00:15:44,582
Hello?
209
00:15:44,750 --> 00:15:46,581
Chandler, what's wrong?
210
00:15:46,870 --> 00:15:50,783
Oh, my God, are you all right?
Yeah, I'll be right there.
211
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,987
I'm so sorry,
but Chandler was in a car accident.
212
00:15:54,150 --> 00:15:55,663
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
213
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:58,549
- Was Mike with him?
- Nope.
214
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,819
- Got the champagne?
- Yes. Ready to power through.
215
00:16:05,990 --> 00:16:08,823
Excellent. Put it on ice,
the phone is off the hook...
216
00:16:08,990 --> 00:16:12,619
...and, in the interest
of powering through...
217
00:16:16,750 --> 00:16:19,947
Okay, sexy, sexy...
218
00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:24,308
...very sexy. Sexy.
All right, let's do it!
219
00:16:24,470 --> 00:16:26,586
Okay, you're scaring me a little bit.
220
00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:29,344
Get over it, soldier,
we gotta do this.
221
00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:33,062
- Okay. You like that, huh?
- Oh, yeah.
222
00:16:33,230 --> 00:16:37,348
You like that?
Let's kick this into high gear, huh?
223
00:16:38,150 --> 00:16:40,061
Yeah, baby!
I'll show you how we do it!
224
00:16:40,230 --> 00:16:41,504
No, no, no!
225
00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:43,342
You kneed me in my misters!
226
00:16:43,510 --> 00:16:48,106
What? Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
227
00:16:48,470 --> 00:16:51,030
Joey? Are you okay?
228
00:16:55,430 --> 00:16:57,421
Soldier down.
229
00:17:01,110 --> 00:17:03,180
We are not friends
with Phoebe anymore.
230
00:17:03,670 --> 00:17:07,822
If she asks,
I protested a little, but okay.
231
00:17:08,790 --> 00:17:12,578
Chandler, thank God you're alive.
Monica, can I talk to you outside?
232
00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:18,222
- I have nothing to say to you.
- My flat is twice this size.
233
00:17:18,390 --> 00:17:21,382
Please, Monica, in the hall?
234
00:17:23,550 --> 00:17:27,065
Oh, that accident
must have been terrible.
235
00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:30,461
You look positively ghastly.
236
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:34,618
Well, aren't you a treat.
237
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:38,740
I can't believe you tried to cut me out.
Why, Phoebe? Why?
238
00:17:38,910 --> 00:17:41,105
It was right after we
were living together...
239
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,062
...and you were driving me crazy,
okay?
240
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:46,859
You were really controlling
and compulsive and shrill.
241
00:17:47,030 --> 00:17:49,863
Well, I'm still all those things!
242
00:17:50,230 --> 00:17:54,701
You're also so generous
and kind and scrappy.
243
00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,266
I am scrappy.
244
00:17:59,430 --> 00:18:03,708
Exactly. No matter what I tried to do,
I couldn't keep you out of my life.
245
00:18:03,870 --> 00:18:05,383
Of all the people I've cut out...
246
00:18:05,550 --> 00:18:08,747
...you were the only one
who ever clawed her way back in.
247
00:18:10,830 --> 00:18:12,786
That's because I'm scrappy.
248
00:18:12,950 --> 00:18:16,226
Yeah, you are, and I'm so glad that
you fought your way back in...
249
00:18:16,390 --> 00:18:18,779
...because I don't know what
I would do without you.
250
00:18:19,270 --> 00:18:22,023
I don't know what
I would do without you.
251
00:18:26,630 --> 00:18:30,305
Well, I guess we should go back in.
I mean, you gave me another chance.
252
00:18:30,470 --> 00:18:34,349
- We should do the same for Amanda.
- Yeah, I guess you're right.
253
00:18:42,150 --> 00:18:45,506
Can you believe it? I've never had
any professional dance training.
254
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:55,309
Let me explain how this works.
Go in the booth and...
255
00:18:55,470 --> 00:18:59,861
I'm gonna stop you
right there, Glenda. Okay?
256
00:19:00,030 --> 00:19:02,669
Does it look like this is
my first time?
257
00:19:02,830 --> 00:19:08,029
Now, I want four two's,
and I want them all on my back.
258
00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:10,149
Okay.
259
00:19:22,670 --> 00:19:28,142
Wait. There's two sets of nozzles!
Which one is it? Which one is it?
260
00:19:29,870 --> 00:19:32,145
Oh, son of a bitch!
261
00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:41,103
What is the matter with us?
262
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:44,029
Well, I know what's
the matter with me.
263
00:19:44,190 --> 00:19:48,468
No, I mean with us, you know?
I mean, is it supposed to be this...
264
00:19:48,990 --> 00:19:50,548
...difficult?
265
00:19:52,270 --> 00:19:53,942
I don't know.
266
00:19:54,150 --> 00:19:58,382
That fake British woman's a real bitch,
but she sure can dance.
267
00:19:58,550 --> 00:19:59,869
- Hey.
- Hi.
268
00:20:00,030 --> 00:20:04,069
Hey, listen, can I ask you a question?
When you and Monica first hooked up...
269
00:20:04,230 --> 00:20:08,746
...was it weird going from friends
to more than that?
270
00:20:09,590 --> 00:20:12,343
Kind of. Sneaking around,
having to hide from you guys...
271
00:20:12,510 --> 00:20:14,705
No, no, no. No, I mean...
272
00:20:14,870 --> 00:20:16,462
...sexually.
273
00:20:16,630 --> 00:20:21,385
Yeah, was there a part
of you that felt like it was...
274
00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:23,700
...really wrong?
275
00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:28,469
Actually, no.
No, it felt right, you know?
276
00:20:28,630 --> 00:20:32,748
It felt like, "I can't believe we haven't
been doing this the whole time."
277
00:20:34,510 --> 00:20:38,059
I can tell from your expressions that's
the good news you were hoping for.
278
00:20:40,830 --> 00:20:45,267
Well, I'm gonna go continue
to spread the joy.
279
00:20:51,110 --> 00:20:54,739
Just because it happened that way
for them doesn't mean it has to for us.
280
00:20:54,910 --> 00:20:56,502
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
281
00:20:56,710 --> 00:20:59,986
I mean, just because something's
difficult doesn't mean that you quit.
282
00:21:00,150 --> 00:21:01,822
- Right, totally.
- Yeah. And so...
283
00:21:02,030 --> 00:21:05,705
...we'll just keep trying
and trying until we do it.
284
00:21:05,870 --> 00:21:08,304
If not, we'll just be a couple
that never has sex.
285
00:21:08,470 --> 00:21:10,028
That's a plan.
286
00:21:23,470 --> 00:21:27,941
- I did not see this coming.
- I know.
287
00:21:28,390 --> 00:21:34,101
I don't know, I don't get it. I mean,
I was so sure this is what I wanted.
288
00:21:34,950 --> 00:21:36,622
Me too.
289
00:21:40,550 --> 00:21:43,747
Well, how come Monica and Chandler
could do it?
290
00:21:50,190 --> 00:21:53,421
I guess they weren't
as good friends as we are.
291
00:21:57,510 --> 00:21:59,660
I bet you're right.
292
00:22:04,470 --> 00:22:06,062
So...
293
00:22:09,430 --> 00:22:11,148
Yeah.
294
00:22:13,190 --> 00:22:14,908
I love you.
295
00:22:15,670 --> 00:22:17,740
Love you too.
296
00:22:19,270 --> 00:22:22,546
- All right, I'm going to bed.
- Yeah, me too.
297
00:22:24,550 --> 00:22:28,338
Yeah. I'm not going anywhere
for a while.
298
00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:40,988
- Dude, it's Chandler. Let me in.
- Go away!
299
00:22:41,950 --> 00:22:43,588
I don't wanna see anybody!
300
00:22:43,750 --> 00:22:47,902
I went to the tanning place and the
same thing happened to me. Let me in.
301
00:22:48,070 --> 00:22:49,549
Really?
302
00:22:49,830 --> 00:22:52,628
Did you count Mississippi-ly?
303
00:22:54,150 --> 00:22:55,424
You're not tan.
304
00:22:55,590 --> 00:23:00,539
No. I just had to get a picture of this.
I'll see you later.
305
00:23:03,030 --> 00:23:04,019
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group
306
00:23:04,190 --> 00:23:05,179
[ENGLISH]