1
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Anthology of Interest 1
2
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:32,554
Good news, everyone!
3
00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:37,470
My new invention lets you operate
equipment from great distances.
4
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:40,234
I call it the "Fing-Longer. "
5
00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:41,799
Observe.
6
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And here we go.
7
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There!
8
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,638
Pretty long, eh?
9
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,872
Yeah, really long!
But what's that?
10
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:55,833
That's my What-lf Machine.
11
00:00:56,080 --> 00:01:01,279
Ask a "what-if" question and it
simulates what would happen.
12
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,790
- Does it really work?
- Of course!
13
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,831
It's just not very long.
14
00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,036
I got a question!
15
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:14,037
As a robot among humans, I never feel
accepted at parties or nude beaches.
16
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,038
So I've always
secretly wondered...
17
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,596
What if I was 500 feet tall?
18
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,235
Let's watch, shall we?
19
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,352
My work here is done.
20
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,191
I'm so Ionely since I came
to the future.
21
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Will you be my friend?
22
00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:16,953
Who are you?
23
00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:20,357
I'm a big robot!
And I want a big cereal.
24
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You too? Will you be my friend?
25
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,311
Put her there, pal!
26
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:28,189
No, your wallet.
27
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,237
Three, two, one, zero!
28
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,671
That calms the shakes.
29
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:31,151
- Quit it!
- Stop! He's not your enemy!
30
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,828
He's just a misunderstood...
31
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:52,073
Well, there goes the neighborhood.
32
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,515
- And another one.
- We're jerked!
33
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:59,669
- Nothing can stop a monster that big!
- Except an equally big monster.
34
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:03,555
We can try my experimental
enlarging ray.
35
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,631
We'll need a guinea pig.
36
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,153
What? Two meals in one week?
37
00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:18,635
Gotcha!
38
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:20,916
A guinea pig tricked me!
39
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:25,595
What?
40
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:33,239
So now Zoidberg is big.
That's more like it!
41
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,591
Who's intimidating who now, big city?
42
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:39,434
Hello, Mr. Chase Manhattan Bank.
43
00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:43,428
Deny my credit card
application, will you?
44
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,872
Ah, the Apollo Theater.
45
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:52,910
Boo me off-stage on open-mike night?
I'll show you!
46
00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:59,275
I called this city!
Quit touching my stuff!
47
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:00,839
Tell it to the claw!
48
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,719
Bite my colossal metal ass!
49
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:42,032
Who wants lobster bisque?
50
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:49,990
Want to make Shrinky Dinks?
51
00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,954
Who put this in here?
52
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,439
No!
53
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:17,830
Are you people satisfied?
This gentle visitor is dying!
54
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,988
- We'll never even know why he came.
- I'll tell you...
55
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...with my final breath.
56
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I came here with a simple dream...
57
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...a dream of killing all humans.
58
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And this is how it must end?
59
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:43,874
Who's the real seven-billion-ton
robot monster here?
60
00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:47,034
Not I.
61
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,632
Not I.
62
00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,317
Good night, sweet prince.
63
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,035
Interesting stuff.
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00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:07,354
Stay tuned for more
Tales of Interest!
65
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:14,156
Well, Leela? Care to try
the What-lf Machine?
66
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,153
I don't know what to ask about.
67
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Just pick something, woman!
68
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,831
Yeah, be more impulsive. Like this.
69
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,431
Go, man, go!
70
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:31,434
I can be impulsive.
It just takes me a while.
71
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,836
All right, let's do it.
72
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:39,828
What if I was a little more impulsive?
73
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,433
Just a little.
74
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:43,913
Not too much.
75
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,672
Look what I bought on a wild impulse!
76
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:49,830
New boots!
77
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,829
They're like my old ones,
but with a crazy green stripe!
78
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,839
Never know what I'm gonna do next.
79
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:04,710
Come here, Leela.
I have something important to say.
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00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,229
I'm old and I need an heir.
81
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,749
Someone to spend my riches...
82
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,072
...and care for my
man-eating anteaters.
83
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:19,156
The others aren't levelheaded.
They're too impulsive.
84
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:24,110
Not like you. Not like predictable,
dull-as-dishwater Leela.
85
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:26,510
Hello? New boots?
86
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,029
So I've made you my sole heir.
87
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:32,909
The day I die, you'll be a very
wealthy woman.
88
00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:36,072
Oh, my, yes. Incredibly wealthy.
89
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:40,956
The day I die. Because you're
so un-impulsive.
90
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,477
You've killed me! You've killed me!
91
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,358
What have I done?
92
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,512
I just told you! You've killed me!
93
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,429
Okay, try to be nonchalant.
94
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:07,598
All right, you're nonchalant.
Don't rub our noses in it.
95
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,075
Sweet anteater of Santa Anita!
96
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,470
The professor's been eaten!
97
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:13,676
What?
98
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,950
It's mighty suspicious.
99
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:19,237
I'll call the cops.
After I flush some things.
100
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,556
Police? Nosy meddlers.
101
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:27,432
I happen to have mail-order degrees
in Murder-ology and Murder-onomy.
102
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:29,591
Zoidberg is afoot!
103
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,075
Perhaps his files can help.
104
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,475
"Citation for Public Nudity. "
105
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,836
Another one.
106
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,470
A new will, naming...
107
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:44,315
- You! As his sole heir!
- What does that prove?
108
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:47,996
It's a video will.
It shows you killing him.
109
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:56,550
All right, anteater number one.
Who did it?
110
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,836
Was it anteater number two?
111
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,837
Don't stick your tongue out at me!
I need a name!
112
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,836
What? How do you spell that?
113
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:09,871
What are you hacking off?
My torso?
114
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,873
It is! My precious torso!
115
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:16,396
Hermes, quiet! I'm deducing things!
116
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,679
- Got disposal trouble?
- No!
117
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:25,469
Shocking about the professor.
And now Hermes is missing.
118
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,756
Well, doesn't affect me.
119
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,433
Hey, what's this?
120
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,756
Hermes' dreadlocks? And his arm?
121
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,115
I'm shocked!
122
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Food in the disposal.
Hair and flesh go in the trash!
123
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I couldn't stop.
124
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,557
Wait. Don't you care
that I killed him?
125
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:45,228
Ain't nothing wrong with murder...
126
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...as long as I can wet my beak.
127
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,035
Blackmail?
128
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:54,189
I prefer the word extortion.
The "x" makes it sound cool.
129
00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,874
Please, I'm made of metal. You...
130
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Wait, not the microwave!
131
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Okay, that's it.
132
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:17,834
No more killing.
Next time, just have a stick of gum.
133
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,358
Now, to hide the body.
134
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:23,273
Honk, honk!
135
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,472
Sporty go-cart, Leela!
So hip and sexy!
136
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:27,749
So unlike you.
137
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,199
Got any gum?
138
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,628
No.
139
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:44,988
Everyone's here.
140
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,031
- Who are you?
- Scruffy, the janitor.
141
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,755
- I've never seen you before.
- I've never seen you neither.
142
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:51,949
Quiet, please.
143
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:57,075
I've called you all here to watch me
gradually solve the crime.
144
00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:00,118
One of you is a big murderer!
145
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,953
The killer left one fatal clue.
146
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,760
The boot print on this lab coat.
147
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:13,437
Couldn't be me. I never wear boots.
148
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:14,916
See?
149
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,156
What smells like boot feet?
150
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,711
This is preposterous!
151
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:22,434
Obviously, the murderer is...
152
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,679
My next clue came at 4: 15,
when the clock stopped.
153
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,798
Two hours later, at 4: 15...
154
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:36,915
...I discovered the murdered body
of Amy's dead, deceased corpse.
155
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,230
I know who killed them people.
156
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,432
In Scruffy's opinion, it were...
157
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,797
It's as I suspected.
158
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,792
The crime is unsolvable.
159
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:02,274
A letter from my friend Bender.
160
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:06,832
"Dear Doctor Jerk-berg, if
you're reading this, I'm dead.
161
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,036
The murderer was..."
162
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:13,436
My God! It can't be!
163
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:14,999
The murderer, it was...
164
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,556
I'm bored. You're boring.
165
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,028
What's on TV?
166
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:23,238
Could you get the lights
on your way out?
167
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:26,189
What's that?
168
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:27,992
Lobster. You want some?
169
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:28,996
Sure.
170
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:33,716
- I think I figured out those deaths.
- Really?
171
00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,718
Are we near an Indian graveyard?
172
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,598
- No.
- No?
173
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,038
Then it was you!
174
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:43,919
What's come over me?
175
00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:48,193
I killed one person on impulse.
Then another. And another.
176
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,152
That covers three.
177
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:53,238
Now, to make sure you won't talk...
178
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:57,831
...I'm gonna have to do
something really impulsive!
179
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,955
So, what do you think of the
impulsive new me?
180
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,155
I like it.
181
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:10,439
Good. Now let me just get the lights.
182
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,229
I really like it.
183
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:23,433
Who else has a question for
the machine? Scruffy? Fry?
184
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:24,715
I have one.
185
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:28,271
- What if Bender was giant?
- We already saw that.
186
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,590
I know. I want to see it again.
187
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,189
No, ask something less stupid.
188
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:34,719
Oh, how about this?
189
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:38,037
What if I never came to the future?
190
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:42,438
There, now that question
is somewhat less stupid.
191
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:46,349
What would happen if Fry never came
to the future?
192
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:59,593
Hello? Pizza delivery for...
193
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,233
..."I.C. Wiener. "
194
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:02,475
Oh, crud.
195
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:09,230
Here's to another lousy millennium.
196
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,434
You're going back in the toilet!
197
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:27,235
What is it?
198
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,711
A rip in the very fabric
of space-time.
199
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:33,434
Hey, look! An ugly, scared guy!
200
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,068
Is one of you I.C. Wiener?
201
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,874
If that's his pizza, then I am.
202
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,429
You believe me about the monsters,
right?
203
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:58,236
There's only three monsters, kid.
Dracula, Blacula and Son of Kong.
204
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,830
Now quit picking your nose
and knead that dough!
205
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,188
The usual, Professor Hawking?
206
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,630
No, I'd like something good.
207
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,989
Hawking, you're all right!
208
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,556
Stephen Hawking!
Didn't you invent gravity?
209
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,233
Sure. Why not?
210
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:23,434
Has anyone ever seen a hole
in space with monsters in it?
211
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:26,677
If I'm the first,
I'll call it a "Fry Hole. "
212
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,155
There is no need to worry.
213
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,755
I must go. There is much to do.
214
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,392
Hawking, your pizza!
215
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,591
Toss it in the garbage.
216
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,872
There he is. Seize him.
217
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:46,633
Who said that?
218
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:53,835
Who are you?
219
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:57,476
I'm Al Gore.
These are my V.P. Action Rangers.
220
00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:02,669
Our sole duty is to prevent disruption
in the space-time continuum.
221
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:05,997
Isn't your sole duty
to break ties in the Senate?
222
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:10,079
That, and protect
the space-time continuum.
223
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,756
You want to see my Fry Hole?
224
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:17,431
Oh, yes. But first, meet the team.
You know Stephen Hawking.
225
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:21,030
Nichelle Nichols,
a.k.a. Commander Uhura.
226
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,550
Incoming transmission from MCI.
227
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:26,432
It sounds like low rates.
228
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:27,874
I'm in the tub!
229
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:32,432
This is Gary Gygax,
inventor of Dungeons & Dragons.
230
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:35,996
Greetings!
It's a pleasure to meet you!
231
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:40,557
And our intern, Deep Blue,
the chess-playing computer.
232
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,518
Bishop to knight 4.
233
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:47,271
Not every mission can be solved
by chess, Deep Blue.
234
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,595
Where am I?
235
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:52,031
You're in a terrestrial
transport module.
236
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:53,355
A school bus!
237
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:56,549
What's going on?
238
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,320
It's about that rip in space-time.
239
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,317
I call it a "Hawking Hole. "
240
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,158
Hey, I saw it first!
241
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:06,636
Who will The Journal
of Quantum Physics believe?
242
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:11,436
Apparently, something was
supposed to happen but didn't...
243
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,710
...due to quantum flux.
244
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,434
So we had to beat you with rackets.
245
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:18,949
If that event doesn't occur...
246
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,953
...the universe will be destroyed.
247
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,237
As an environmentalist,
I'm against that.
248
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,591
So then I almost fell
into this thingy.
249
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,631
I call it a "Hawking Chamber. "
250
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,752
But I missed and wanged my head.
251
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,629
Well, obviously that wang
should have killed you.
252
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,274
- What?
- Let's finish the job!
253
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:49,512
No, wait! There must be a peaceful...
254
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,638
- Hold him down.
- Check.
255
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:04,230
Something's wrong!
Murder isn't working.
256
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,637
Let's try something else.
We should...
257
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,155
Put the dice away.
258
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,038
I'm getting an idea!
259
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,840
What if he was meant to be frozen?
260
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:18,157
Yes, shove him in the tube.
It was my idea.
261
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,633
There he is again! He brought nerds!
262
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:24,353
Take this!
263
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:29,553
Hurry, get in before
the universe collapses!
264
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:35,550
I'll need a weapon
to fight drunken robots!
265
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,995
Here, take my plus-one mace!
266
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,276
Okay. Here I go.
267
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:47,080
You fool! You foolish fool!
268
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,912
What could go wrong?
269
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,232
Great. The universe was destroyed.
270
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,237
Then where are we now?
271
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:16,156
I can darn well tell you where
we're not. The universe.
272
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:21,830
Eternity with nerds. It's a Star Trek
convention all over again!
273
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:25,510
Anyone want to play
Dungeons & Dragons?
274
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:27,631
- Yeah.
- Sure.
275
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,070
I'm a 10th-level vice president.
276
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:35,479
That was preposterous.
Stephen Hawking in a pizzeria.
277
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:39,030
This thing isn't worth
the gold it's made of.
278
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:43,433
Anyway, the Fing-Longer
seems to be a success.
279
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:45,949
- Way to go!
- Right on, professor.
280
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:52,512
So that's how it would be if I'd
invented the Fing-Longer.
281
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,798
A man can dream though.
282
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,073
A man can dream.
283
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:36,709
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group
284
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:38,469
[ENGLISH]