1 00:00:03,962 --> 00:00:09,259 Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know that I love you. 2 00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:12,304 I had a great time on our honeymoon. 3 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:16,058 I can't wait to spend our life together. 4 00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:19,520 You're sticking with the shell necklace, huh? 5 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,439 You're back! 6 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:26,777 Come on in! 7 00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:31,448 How was the honeymoon? 8 00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:36,036 So much fun. The best part is, we met this great couple. 9 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:40,791 That was the best part? Good honeymooning, tiger. 10 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:44,253 They're cool. It was their honeymoon too. 11 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,463 They live here in the city. 12 00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:49,925 Can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? 13 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:54,263 We're excited. We finally have a couple to hang out with. 14 00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:59,393 A couple? Like two people? Like one, two people? 15 00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:03,021 It's different. Greg and Jenny are married. 16 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:06,859 Greg and Jenny? "Hi, Greg. I'm Chandler." 17 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:11,238 "Hi, Monica. This is Jenny." "Hi, Jenny. Hi, Greg." 18 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:15,284 - They're great. If you just... - You know what? 19 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:18,912 Give us our souvenirs and get out of here. 20 00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:23,750 - We didn't get a chance to... - You're kidding! 21 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:28,130 - We didn't get anything for anyone. - Nice necklace. 22 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:32,342 That you can have. 23 00:01:32,885 --> 00:01:34,970 The One With the Videotape 24 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:44,354 Ripped by mrnch@dh.net.mk 25 00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:53,739 Subtitles processed by Subtitle Editor (c) Digital Higherground - Igor Janevski, 2004 26 00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:15,219 - Welcome home. - How was the honeymoon? 27 00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:18,472 Great! How about you? You're having a baby! 28 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:22,768 - Look, I have a sonogram picture. - Good. 29 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:27,481 Ross, it's got your wavy, black lines. 30 00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:34,613 Now that Ross knows, how'd it happen? When? How many times? 31 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:38,700 Monica, that's not right. Start with where. 32 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:44,915 It happened about six weeks ago. 33 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:50,462 I got home and Ross was there. He'd been hanging out with Joey. 34 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:53,465 You're welcome, buddy. 35 00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:59,680 Yeah, thanks. 36 00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:04,268 I had a lot of work, and Ross offered to help. 37 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:07,187 We had wine, we got to talking. 38 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:11,358 Next thing you know, Ross comes on to me. 39 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:15,320 That's a little misleading. 40 00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:18,740 - What is? - The lie you just told. 41 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:23,662 - That you came on to me? - There's the one! 42 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:27,624 - But you did. Let's be honest. - Yes, let's. 43 00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:31,795 It's not important. 44 00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:36,967 What's important is, we're having a baby, not who came on to who. 45 00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:39,303 "Whom." 46 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:44,099 That's right. 47 00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:48,937 - You kissed me first. - You were begging for it! 48 00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:51,607 You were sending me signals! 49 00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:57,446 I was sending signals? Anyone think that I'd send Ross begging signals? 50 00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,157 Please, show of hands. 51 00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:06,663 It doesn't matter what people believe! It happened. 52 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:12,252 Maybe I need to be more careful. Am I sending these signals now? 53 00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:17,049 - You know what? Just drop it. - Show me how I begged you. 54 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:20,969 I can show you! I have it on videotape. 55 00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:30,187 It's an expression. 56 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:38,695 I can't believe he taped them having sex. 57 00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:43,033 Yeah. You gotta tell a girl before you tape her. 58 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:46,286 Such a rookie mistake. 59 00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:50,207 - Know who has a great camera? - Greg and Jenny? 60 00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:53,460 - I want to call them. - Let's call. 61 00:04:53,669 --> 00:04:56,964 Ask them if they brought their friends souvenirs. 62 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,972 8th Street Deli? 63 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:09,226 Hang up. You get food poisoning just talking to that place. 64 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,563 - Sorry, wrong number. - Here you go, babe. 65 00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:18,110 Hello? It's the deli again! 66 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,196 All right, I'll have a sandwich. 67 00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:24,408 I don't think this number's right. 68 00:05:27,286 --> 00:05:31,081 - What? - You got fake-numbered. 69 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:36,295 - What? People don't do that. - Oh, I think we do. 70 00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:39,631 - Why would they do that? - I don't know. 71 00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:44,011 You were a delight. You asked those great questions. 72 00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:49,183 And you were never funnier. Joke, joke, joke! You were a hoot! 73 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,977 You still got me and Phoebe. 74 00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:56,148 Excuse me, I don't want Greg and Jenny's rejects. 75 00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:01,278 Rachel won't talk to me. She won't open the door. 76 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,488 I wonder why, pervert. 77 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,158 Okay, I am not a pervert. 78 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,661 That's, like, the pervert motto. 79 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:15,501 You raise your hand, put your left hand down your pants and repeat that. 80 00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:18,712 Filming Rachel was not planned. 81 00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:22,174 Here's what happened. Joey can back me up. 82 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:27,387 A month and a half ago, remember I came to you with a problem? 83 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,724 The personal thing? 84 00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:35,979 - What personal thing? - About sex? 85 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:40,943 That I hadn't had sex in months? 86 00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:44,112 Yeah, I knew what you were talking about. 87 00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:58,627 I'd like to talk about something I'm uncomfortable talking about. 88 00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:00,546 Sure. 89 00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:05,467 How about you showering with your mom? 90 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:10,973 I actually had a topic in mind. 91 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:18,856 I'm kind of going through a dry spell, sex-wise. 92 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,859 - For, like, months? - Five, to be... 93 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,069 ...lying. Six. 94 00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:26,780 Six months? That's rough. 95 00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:32,411 It's not all bad. I'm learning to appreciate the small things, like... 96 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:37,207 ...the sound of a bird and the color of the sky. 97 00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:41,211 The sky's blue, Ross. And I had sex yesterday. 98 00:07:43,172 --> 00:07:46,008 Please help me. I have a date tonight. 99 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:49,469 It has to go well. I'm scared for my health. 100 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:54,516 I got something. It's this story that I came up with. 101 00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:58,520 Very romantic. Any woman that hears it is putty. 102 00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:00,314 Tell it to me. 103 00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:05,444 Now, you're gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it. 104 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:08,572 Remember, it is just the story. 105 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:13,452 I'll try to control myself. 106 00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:19,958 Years ago, I was backpacking across Western Europe... 107 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:25,589 - You were backpacking across Europe? - Have a nice six more months. 108 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:31,261 I'm sorry. Please, please. You were in Western Europe, and...? 109 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:38,435 I was outside Barcelona, hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. 110 00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:45,442 I was at the end of this path, and there was a lake. 111 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:49,738 Very secluded. There were tall trees all around. 112 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:53,575 It was dead silent. Gorgeous. 113 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:59,748 And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself. 114 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,918 But she was crying. 115 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,129 Why? 116 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,305 This is great wine. 117 00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,850 It's from France. 118 00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:21,854 In Europe. 119 00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:24,648 Western Europe. 120 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:32,531 A few years ago I was backpacking across Western Europe. 121 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:36,535 - Really? - Wait, it gets better. 122 00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:41,206 Yeah, I was in Barcelona. 123 00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:45,294 I studied for a year in Barcelona. 124 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:51,216 - Anyway, so I was hiking... - I love hiking! 125 00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,427 Oh, that's great! 126 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:59,808 I was hiking along the foothills of Mount Tibidaybo... 127 00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:04,188 - I think it's "Tibidabo." - Do you want to tell the story? 128 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:10,068 How'd your date go? 129 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:14,281 Great. I'm across the street having sex right now. 130 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:19,828 - Your story sucks. - Then you didn't tell it right. 131 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,415 - Show me how you did it. - No, I don't want to. 132 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:28,962 - How long since you seen a girl naked? - I was backpacking... 133 00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:34,426 - I'm not feeling it. - I was outside Barcelona, hiking... 134 00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:40,307 - Ross, I'm not hot. Are you hot? - It's been six months. I'm always hot. 135 00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:44,561 You're not selling the story. You don't believe it. 136 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:47,773 I gotta go, I got a date. But try this. 137 00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:50,651 Do what I do before an audition. 138 00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:55,656 Use my camera to record yourself and see what you're doing wrong. 139 00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:57,449 I'll try that. 140 00:10:57,658 --> 00:11:03,956 Now, you're all set up. Good to go. Just hit record. Good luck. 141 00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:10,587 If you ever have any problem with the ladies, you know I'll help you out. 142 00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:17,886 That means a lot to me, man. 143 00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:41,910 Can I get you anything? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? 144 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:47,040 Ross, thank God you're here. You have to help me. 145 00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:50,043 Were you talking to yourself? 146 00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:54,006 That's less embarrassing. Yes. Yes, I was. 147 00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:58,218 "When she came in", I totally forgot about the camera. 148 00:11:58,427 --> 00:12:02,097 It kept rolling and recorded everything. 149 00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:06,977 Yeah, we're gonna need to see that tape. 150 00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:11,690 What a great idea! That'll get Rachel to forgive me. 151 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:14,902 It's not fair to her. Let's forget the tape. 152 00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:17,321 Thank you. 153 00:12:20,324 --> 00:12:23,202 - No. - You're right. 154 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:28,749 - Joey, no. - Loud and clear. 155 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:38,425 I don't get why they'd give us a fake number. 156 00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:44,681 If they knew what they were doing, they didn't give you real names. 157 00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:50,103 Maybe people give out fake numbers, but not fake names. 158 00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:54,233 Hi. Ken Adams. Nice to meet you. 159 00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:57,569 Regina Phalange. 160 00:12:58,362 --> 00:13:01,073 - We didn't do anything wrong. - I know. 161 00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:06,537 Although you did tell an awful lot of jokes. 162 00:13:07,371 --> 00:13:11,208 You said they were funny. Joke, joke, joke! 163 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:14,127 Joke, joke, blah-blah. 164 00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:22,052 - It was your questions. - What about them? 165 00:13:22,261 --> 00:13:27,391 The sheer volume. It was like flying with the Riddler. 166 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:32,688 - Was that another joke? - Was that another question? 167 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,192 Is Ross still here? 168 00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:41,989 No, but he told us what happened. It was an honest mistake. 169 00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:47,035 How would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? 170 00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:49,496 Oh, forget it. 171 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:56,336 There he is, the father of my child, the porn king of the West Village. 172 00:13:57,171 --> 00:13:59,590 It was an accident, okay? 173 00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:03,051 I feel bad. I swear, I didn't even watch it. 174 00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:06,013 Anyway, here. 175 00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:10,350 You might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. 176 00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:12,644 Thank you. 177 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,945 What? 178 00:14:23,322 --> 00:14:27,034 - You don't want to see this, do you? - Hell, yeah! 179 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,579 I am not gonna show you this. 180 00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:34,791 Not the sex part. Just the stuff leading up to it. 181 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,085 Forget it. 182 00:14:37,336 --> 00:14:43,133 We'll think of another way to put the "who came on to who" thing to rest. 183 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,303 Come on now, think! 184 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:51,350 It's Rachel's tape, and she can do whatever she wants. 185 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:56,063 And she wants to destroy it, so end of story. 186 00:14:56,313 --> 00:15:00,108 - I want to see it. - What? 187 00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:02,486 You don't want us to see this. 188 00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:09,076 You so badly don't want us to see it that it makes me want to see it. 189 00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:14,164 Are we watching the tape or not? 190 00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:20,546 - It's for your sake. - I don't believe you. 191 00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:24,383 I think you don't want them to see you begging me. 192 00:15:25,676 --> 00:15:29,596 - Rachel, please? - Oh, a little preview. 193 00:15:31,223 --> 00:15:36,478 Fine. I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road. 194 00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:42,192 Because in about five minutes, I'm gonna be saying... 195 00:15:47,865 --> 00:15:49,783 Okay, here we go. 196 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,497 I'm so happy. 197 00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:03,547 Thank God you're here. Help me. Were you talking to yourself? 198 00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:07,801 - There I am. - You're gonna get pregnant. 199 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,179 I screwed up so bad. 200 00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:15,684 I told Monica that I'd send those wedding invitations weeks ago. 201 00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:17,352 You didn 't do it? 202 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:22,858 "I put them in my desk at work", and forgot about them until today. 203 00:16:25,903 --> 00:16:30,991 Sweetie, it's okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. I'm fine. 204 00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:35,704 - Kind of hurting my hand though. - I know. 205 00:16:35,913 --> 00:16:41,335 "I can 't believe it", "especially after" Monica went on and on about it. 206 00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:45,964 "Here are the invitations", "Rachel." "Be very careful", "Rachel." 207 00:16:46,215 --> 00:16:50,969 Please no drinking liquids "around the invitations", "Rachel. " 208 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:04,066 Did you do it on our invitations? 209 00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:09,696 Not on the ones we sent out. 210 00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:15,327 So just the ones you gave back to us and we had framed? 211 00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:26,171 It seems like yesterday they just got engaged. 212 00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:28,257 I know. 213 00:17:28,674 --> 00:17:33,679 Remember the night they got engaged? How you and I almost... 214 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:37,683 "Oh", "I remember how we almost." 215 00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:41,103 You think we would've gone through with it? 216 00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:44,106 You think we would have done it? 217 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:50,445 I know I wanted to. I just wasn 't sure if you did. 218 00:17:50,654 --> 00:17:53,490 "Oh", "I wanted to." 219 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:58,495 So we both wanted to. 220 00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:01,623 Interesting. 221 00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:10,382 "Anyway", "it probably worked out" for the best. 222 00:18:10,966 --> 00:18:12,801 "Yeah", "sure." 223 00:18:13,010 --> 00:18:19,892 - In about 10 seconds, he kisses me. - In about 5 seconds, you'll see why. 224 00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:29,109 Did I ever tell you about the time I backpacked through Western Europe? 225 00:18:35,991 --> 00:18:38,869 Get ready to see some begging. 226 00:18:39,578 --> 00:18:43,415 - Oh, you came on to Ross! - What? 227 00:18:43,624 --> 00:18:46,210 Now I'm so happy. 228 00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:50,547 - What? - You used the Europe story! 229 00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:55,427 That's the magic story you use when you want to have sex! 230 00:18:56,345 --> 00:19:01,725 - How do you know about that story? - How do you know about that story? 231 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:05,354 My friend Irene heard it from some guy. 232 00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,232 Some guy! 233 00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:15,447 No, she told me that his name was Ken Adams. 234 00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:18,075 Ken Adams! 235 00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:32,589 So, people are familiar with the Europe story? 236 00:19:32,965 --> 00:19:38,637 About that, the "who came on to who" thing really doesn't matter. 237 00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:41,849 It would have happened either way. 238 00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:47,145 If you hadn't initiated it, I know I would have. 239 00:19:47,938 --> 00:19:52,150 - It was an amazing night. - It was. It was amazing. 240 00:19:54,695 --> 00:19:57,823 You think it looked amazing? 241 00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:03,620 I don't know. I honestly didn't watch it. 242 00:20:03,871 --> 00:20:05,539 Yeah, me neither. 243 00:20:05,747 --> 00:20:08,000 Yet. 244 00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:17,259 - That may be weird. - Yeah, it would be really weird. 245 00:20:28,562 --> 00:20:31,565 - Good luck. - Good luck to you. 246 00:20:32,149 --> 00:20:35,861 - Mind if I mute? - Oh, please. 247 00:20:36,445 --> 00:20:41,116 - There go the clothes. - You are undressing awfully quickly. 248 00:20:41,325 --> 00:20:44,495 Six months, Rachel. Six months. 249 00:20:52,628 --> 00:20:57,132 - We look pretty good. - I was gonna say. 250 00:20:57,382 --> 00:21:00,344 - Nice tan. - Thank you. 251 00:21:00,594 --> 00:21:03,889 I'd just gone to the beach that weekend. 252 00:21:06,642 --> 00:21:11,438 - Have you been working out? - I have been working out. 253 00:21:13,065 --> 00:21:16,610 This is so much better than I ever... 254 00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:25,244 Oh, that's not pretty. 255 00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:30,165 - Make it stop. Make it stop. - Oh, no! 256 00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:38,423 Hello, Greg? This is Monica from the plane. 257 00:21:38,632 --> 00:21:42,511 Listen, the number that you gave me, 8-5-3... 258 00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:45,722 Jenny's been giving out their old number! 259 00:21:45,931 --> 00:21:49,685 Jenny! That is so Jenny! 260 00:21:49,935 --> 00:21:53,981 How would you like to get together next Saturday? 261 00:21:54,189 --> 00:21:56,316 Okay, how about Sunday? 262 00:21:56,525 --> 00:21:58,986 Okay, the week after that? 263 00:21:59,236 --> 00:22:00,988 The week after that? 264 00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:07,411 You know what? We are interesting, funny people with good questions. 265 00:22:07,661 --> 00:22:11,415 And if you and your precious Jenny can't see that... 266 00:22:11,623 --> 00:22:13,333 January 15? 267 00:22:13,584 --> 00:22:16,170 We'll see you then! 268 00:22:21,258 --> 00:22:22,301 [ENGLISH]