1 00:00:01,705 --> 00:00:04,196 [Sirens wailing] 2 00:00:05,409 --> 00:00:06,671 [Door opens] 3 00:00:07,177 --> 00:00:10,044 - What happened? - Betadine, saline and a suture kit. 4 00:00:10,113 --> 00:00:12,741 - What happened? - She cut herself. An accident. 5 00:00:12,816 --> 00:00:16,013 - I've got this. - How much blood has she lost? 6 00:00:16,086 --> 00:00:18,782 - Alex. - She's fine. I've got this. 7 00:00:20,157 --> 00:00:21,749 [Derek] Given the situation, 8 00:00:21,825 --> 00:00:25,056 I'd understand if you didn't want to proceed with surgery. 9 00:00:26,496 --> 00:00:28,020 But we did learn from Jeremy, 10 00:00:28,098 --> 00:00:31,590 and the formulation of the cocktail will be adjusted. 11 00:00:31,668 --> 00:00:34,694 - We have not had a positive outcome. - [Man] Liz? 12 00:00:35,605 --> 00:00:37,402 I want to take her home. 13 00:00:37,474 --> 00:00:40,068 - I understand. - No. I want the surgery. 14 00:00:40,143 --> 00:00:41,371 [Sobs] Honey. 15 00:00:42,512 --> 00:00:45,879 - Honey, that's the grief talking. - I want the surgery today. 16 00:00:47,083 --> 00:00:50,416 Well, there are no other clinical trials out there. 17 00:00:50,487 --> 00:00:53,354 No one else has any answers. 18 00:00:53,423 --> 00:00:55,914 - Dr. Shepherd has worked hard on this. - Meredith. 19 00:00:55,992 --> 00:01:00,429 We're not letting you have surgery because you want to die with Jeremy. 20 00:01:00,497 --> 00:01:02,931 If I go home, I die. 21 00:01:02,999 --> 00:01:05,797 I die in a few weeks, a few days. 22 00:01:05,869 --> 00:01:08,463 I don't want to lose you. 23 00:01:11,341 --> 00:01:13,832 Mom, you won't. 24 00:01:13,910 --> 00:01:16,572 - Because I'm not finished. - [Liz sniffs] 25 00:01:18,715 --> 00:01:21,707 Daddy. He loved me. 26 00:01:22,085 --> 00:01:24,713 Yeah, you know, Jeremy really loved me. 27 00:01:25,555 --> 00:01:29,889 And he'd be so mad if... if I just gave up. 28 00:01:32,128 --> 00:01:35,723 Please. Do the surgery today. 29 00:01:41,171 --> 00:01:43,139 [Exhales] 30 00:01:43,206 --> 00:01:45,606 - [Laughter] - Lola, Andrew's asking for you. 31 00:01:45,675 --> 00:01:47,165 Could you come with me, please? 32 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,408 Hey, um, is... Is he OK? 33 00:01:53,483 --> 00:01:56,247 No, he's not OK. He's stuck in a block of cement. 34 00:01:57,554 --> 00:02:00,648 Hardening-by-the-second, concrete cement. How could he be? 35 00:02:04,861 --> 00:02:06,692 Wow, you care about him. 36 00:02:10,066 --> 00:02:11,829 [Whispers] He's my friend. 37 00:02:11,902 --> 00:02:16,032 I... I know I told you he wasn't, but he's my friend. 38 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:19,169 I think he's more than that. 39 00:02:19,242 --> 00:02:24,373 And I think you're too proud to admit it to your friends, and maybe to yourself. 40 00:02:24,447 --> 00:02:26,938 [Man] Mommy, I have a boo-boo. Kiss it better. 41 00:02:27,017 --> 00:02:32,045 - [Smacks] - Hey, he is in pain, he is scared, 42 00:02:32,122 --> 00:02:35,216 and he needs someone he knows to hold his hand. 43 00:02:35,292 --> 00:02:38,022 [Man] Lola, hold my hand. 44 00:02:39,896 --> 00:02:42,797 Screw what they think. This matters. 45 00:02:42,866 --> 00:02:44,333 They don't. 46 00:02:46,636 --> 00:02:48,365 I can't help him. 47 00:02:52,242 --> 00:02:54,403 You're gonna hate yourself for this. 48 00:02:54,711 --> 00:02:56,838 Later. 49 00:02:56,913 --> 00:03:00,144 You're gonna hate yourself for this, and you'll be right. 50 00:03:07,991 --> 00:03:10,926 - Don't think this looks right. - Cristina is dyslexic, 51 00:03:10,994 --> 00:03:14,259 but she got straight A's during school and has a Ph.D. Amazing. 52 00:03:14,331 --> 00:03:17,994 - Eight letters of recommendation. - This look right? How you found 'em? 53 00:03:18,068 --> 00:03:20,696 Izzie went to college at night. Six years to graduate, 54 00:03:20,770 --> 00:03:23,603 volunteered as a candystriper. Patients wrote letters of rec. 55 00:03:23,673 --> 00:03:26,005 - [Whispers] Gotta get outta here. - [Spills] 56 00:03:28,345 --> 00:03:32,008 And Alex, he wrote this essay to get in, this moving, beautiful essay 57 00:03:32,082 --> 00:03:36,212 about how his grades weren't that good. He was suffering from testicular cancer. 58 00:03:36,286 --> 00:03:37,275 - [Thuds] - Ow! What? 59 00:03:37,354 --> 00:03:39,151 He lost a ball. I've seen him naked. 60 00:03:39,222 --> 00:03:42,123 He has two mangerines, two pouch potatoes. He lied. 61 00:03:42,192 --> 00:03:45,252 - Stop telling me information. - One point. Just one point. 62 00:03:45,328 --> 00:03:47,728 - How can they keep you back? - Forget about it! 63 00:03:47,797 --> 00:03:49,389 Photographic memory! I can't. 64 00:03:51,368 --> 00:03:54,565 - We'll get it right with Beth. - She lost the love of her life. 65 00:03:54,638 --> 00:03:57,471 - You encourage her to surgery? - Encourage her not to? 66 00:03:57,540 --> 00:04:00,668 Not me with the big ego, it's you. You backed me into a corner. 67 00:04:00,744 --> 00:04:03,611 - What was I supposed to do? I can't. - Derek. 68 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,240 - She's a kid. - Who's gonna die without surgery. 69 00:04:06,316 --> 00:04:08,580 She'll die with surgery. What you and I do. 70 00:04:08,652 --> 00:04:11,052 We kill things over and over and over again. 71 00:04:11,121 --> 00:04:15,114 We've killed 1 2 people, and now, because of you, I will kill a 13th. 72 00:04:15,191 --> 00:04:16,681 Surgery's over, we're done. 73 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:19,854 Don't wanna work with you, see you, talk to you. We're done. 74 00:04:26,603 --> 00:04:28,298 [Strains] 75 00:04:31,608 --> 00:04:32,939 [Grunts] 76 00:04:33,009 --> 00:04:35,603 OK, Andy, we're ready to begin. 77 00:04:36,246 --> 00:04:37,907 [Groans] Wait. Is she? 78 00:04:37,981 --> 00:04:40,541 - Lola? - She... I couldn't find her. 79 00:04:40,617 --> 00:04:42,949 She went to eat or something. 80 00:04:43,019 --> 00:04:45,317 [Bailey] We need to start the catheter. 81 00:04:45,388 --> 00:04:48,880 OK. Now, you're gonna feel some pressure. 82 00:04:49,659 --> 00:04:52,651 She didn't go to eat. She just didn't want to come, right? 83 00:04:52,729 --> 00:04:54,060 - [Gasps] - [Clanks] 84 00:04:54,130 --> 00:04:57,964 [Shudders] Lola likes to hang out with me. 85 00:04:58,034 --> 00:05:00,764 Or she did... used to. 86 00:05:00,837 --> 00:05:02,964 Before I did this. 87 00:05:03,039 --> 00:05:05,166 Once, she almost... 88 00:05:05,241 --> 00:05:08,733 There coulda been a kiss, 89 00:05:08,812 --> 00:05:10,609 but I chickened out. 90 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:13,046 Well, maybe you don't need to be kissing her. 91 00:05:13,116 --> 00:05:16,552 No, I do. I do. I do need to be kissing her. 92 00:05:16,619 --> 00:05:19,645 - My whole life is about kissing her. - [Bailey] Catheter's in. 93 00:05:19,723 --> 00:05:21,850 Guys are on their last piece of cement. 94 00:05:22,792 --> 00:05:26,319 [Andrew shudders] Thank God. The hard part's over, right? 95 00:05:26,396 --> 00:05:29,593 - The hard part's over? - [Richard] Get a crash cart ready. 96 00:05:29,666 --> 00:05:34,763 I've got calcium, D-50 and insulin. 97 00:05:34,838 --> 00:05:37,398 - Ready. - The hard part is over? 98 00:05:38,475 --> 00:05:41,467 OK, there is a chance 99 00:05:41,544 --> 00:05:45,412 that when the nice gentlemen take off the final piece of cement 100 00:05:45,482 --> 00:05:49,213 there, on your abdomen, the toxins that have been building up 101 00:05:49,285 --> 00:05:53,483 underneath the concrete will rush to your heart, and you'll crash. 102 00:05:53,556 --> 00:05:57,458 You... Your heart will stop, and you'll stop breathing. 103 00:05:57,527 --> 00:06:01,861 But, no, there's no need to make that face because we will restart your heart, 104 00:06:01,931 --> 00:06:05,662 and we will put in a tube that will breathe for you and rush you to the OR. 105 00:06:05,735 --> 00:06:11,071 We are good at what we do. Just, if you see the warm, welcoming light, 106 00:06:11,141 --> 00:06:13,735 - do not go into it. - [Whimpers] 107 00:06:16,546 --> 00:06:17,877 Let's go. 108 00:06:17,947 --> 00:06:20,245 [Richard] OK, we're gonna do this on three. 109 00:06:20,316 --> 00:06:22,375 - OK. One. - Watch the leads. 110 00:06:22,452 --> 00:06:24,317 Two. 111 00:06:26,489 --> 00:06:27,615 Three. 112 00:06:28,658 --> 00:06:30,888 [Grunting] 113 00:06:34,197 --> 00:06:36,631 - [Richard] There he goes. - [Mark] Clear his airway. 114 00:06:38,168 --> 00:06:40,159 [Richard] All right. One. 115 00:06:40,236 --> 00:06:43,000 Two. Three. 116 00:06:43,072 --> 00:06:46,508 - Easy, easy, easy. - [Callie] Push the lidocaine. 117 00:06:46,576 --> 00:06:49,136 - [Richard] Bailey. - [Bailey] Got the intubation. 118 00:06:49,212 --> 00:06:50,201 [Richard] Go. 119 00:06:52,782 --> 00:06:56,013 I don't know what you mean when you say she didn't want to die. 120 00:06:56,085 --> 00:06:59,987 When you were sitting on the floor with your mother, what did she say to you? 121 00:07:02,025 --> 00:07:05,324 She told me to be extraordinary. She said that she had failed, 122 00:07:05,395 --> 00:07:09,195 but that I should be extraordinary, that I shouldn't depend on anyone. 123 00:07:11,201 --> 00:07:14,102 "Be an extraordinary woman," is what she said. 124 00:07:14,170 --> 00:07:17,162 And so you became a surgeon, just like her. 125 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,435 - Yes. - Which means you have all the tools 126 00:07:19,509 --> 00:07:21,374 - to figure this out. - But I just... 127 00:07:21,444 --> 00:07:24,106 - You need to work this through. - [Exhales] 128 00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:27,115 I promise you, when you do, you're gonna be glad. 129 00:07:27,183 --> 00:07:30,175 [# Jon Foreman: The Cure For Pain] 130 00:07:40,330 --> 00:07:42,696 - My head is exploding. - Make it unexplode. 131 00:07:43,199 --> 00:07:46,134 - Are... Are you mad at me? - No. 132 00:07:46,202 --> 00:07:48,796 - Why talk to me in that voice? - There's no voice. 133 00:07:48,872 --> 00:07:51,340 There's a voice. And I did you a favor. 134 00:07:51,407 --> 00:07:54,808 You didn't do me a favor. You made it clear that I'm still me. 135 00:07:54,878 --> 00:07:56,573 The almost guy. 136 00:07:56,646 --> 00:08:00,047 All that separates me from the rest of my class is one point? 137 00:08:00,116 --> 00:08:03,574 It would've been OK if it was 50 points or even ten points, but one? 138 00:08:03,653 --> 00:08:07,817 That means it was right there, it was in my hand, and I let it slip away. 139 00:08:07,891 --> 00:08:10,121 I didn't want to know that. Do you get that? 140 00:08:10,193 --> 00:08:13,526 That knowing that if I had just checked A instead of B, 141 00:08:13,596 --> 00:08:17,327 one point separates me from freedom. I have been running my tail off, 142 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,892 busting my ass to make up for one lousy point, 143 00:08:20,970 --> 00:08:23,029 proving... 144 00:08:25,575 --> 00:08:28,237 You didn't do me a favor. Don't kid yourself. 145 00:08:32,115 --> 00:08:35,243 At least now you know you have what it takes. [chuckles] 146 00:08:35,318 --> 00:08:36,785 Yeah. 147 00:08:39,722 --> 00:08:43,590 This arm's almost bandaged, then we're gonna move to the other one, OK? 148 00:08:43,660 --> 00:08:45,287 OK. 149 00:08:45,361 --> 00:08:47,955 I've prescribed her Alprazolam and Clonazepam. 150 00:08:48,031 --> 00:08:51,467 Psych will be down, but it'd be good to keep her calm. 151 00:08:51,534 --> 00:08:54,935 She doesn't need any drugs or any psych. 152 00:08:56,039 --> 00:08:58,439 She needs a psych consult to be admitted. 153 00:08:58,508 --> 00:09:00,066 - Not admitting her. - Not taking her. 154 00:09:00,143 --> 00:09:03,738 - I was watching her every minute. - You shouldn't have to watch her. 155 00:09:03,813 --> 00:09:06,247 You're not on today so she was admitted under my name, 156 00:09:06,316 --> 00:09:09,285 which means I decide the treatment. She needs to be put on hold... 157 00:09:09,352 --> 00:09:11,843 Damn it! Leave us alone, you stupid bitch. 158 00:09:25,501 --> 00:09:26,798 [Sniffs] 159 00:09:26,869 --> 00:09:30,134 You're supposed to sit down. That's what the breaks are for. 160 00:09:30,206 --> 00:09:33,835 - We're on our feet. Rest your legs. - My legs are good. 161 00:09:33,910 --> 00:09:37,641 Inappropriate, don't you think, thinking about sex during surgery? 162 00:09:37,714 --> 00:09:40,239 Just saying what I've been witnessing all day. 163 00:09:40,316 --> 00:09:43,285 This poor kid's entire body was encased in cement. 164 00:09:43,353 --> 00:09:46,811 His legs are crushed, his vessels and nerves cut off completely, 165 00:09:46,889 --> 00:09:50,484 and still... I was turned on. 166 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:54,360 This entire time I've been turned on because of you and your dirty talk. 167 00:09:54,430 --> 00:09:58,389 It wasn't my dirty talk. It's what I was dirty talking about. 168 00:09:58,468 --> 00:10:01,596 - [Laughs] What? - Erica. You and Erica. 169 00:10:02,138 --> 00:10:04,333 [Scoffs] No. That's... 170 00:10:04,407 --> 00:10:05,465 - No. - Callie. 171 00:10:05,541 --> 00:10:07,236 - What? - It's OK. 172 00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:09,904 I wish I was all someone thought about. 173 00:10:16,619 --> 00:10:18,814 You had 1 4 letters of recommendation. 174 00:10:23,259 --> 00:10:27,423 Cristina had eight, Meredith had four, Izzie had ten. But you had 1 4. 175 00:10:27,497 --> 00:10:31,627 The words used to describe you... Nobody had recommendations like yours. 176 00:10:31,701 --> 00:10:35,364 People said the others were smart, they said they were hard workers, 177 00:10:35,438 --> 00:10:38,601 they said that they were good. But your letters? 178 00:10:38,674 --> 00:10:40,471 They said you were great. 179 00:10:40,543 --> 00:10:42,977 They spoke of kindness, attention to detail. 180 00:10:43,046 --> 00:10:46,743 They talked about how hard you try, and that you never give up. 181 00:10:46,816 --> 00:10:50,547 They painted a picture of the kind of doctor that I hope to become. 182 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:54,178 It was an honor to read those letters, because now I know that what 183 00:10:54,257 --> 00:10:57,317 separates you from the others isn't one stupid point. 184 00:10:57,393 --> 00:11:00,487 What separates you from the others is greatness. 185 00:11:02,031 --> 00:11:05,023 So don't you dare let one point hold you back. 186 00:11:12,642 --> 00:11:15,475 [Whirring] 187 00:11:16,712 --> 00:11:18,703 I'm covered in blood. Talk fast. 188 00:11:18,781 --> 00:11:22,774 Alex brought Rebecca in. She tried to hurt herself. He's taking Rebecca home. 189 00:11:22,852 --> 00:11:25,082 - And? - She needs to be admitted. 190 00:11:25,154 --> 00:11:27,088 - She needs a psych consult. - And? 191 00:11:27,156 --> 00:11:30,023 - Can you just do your job? - I am doing my job. 192 00:11:30,093 --> 00:11:34,359 I'm helping a 1 9-year-old man that I promised would get to live, get to live. 193 00:11:34,430 --> 00:11:38,264 That's my job as a surgeon. I took my son to daycare when I came in. 194 00:11:38,334 --> 00:11:40,529 My job as a mother. I'm asking you, 195 00:11:40,603 --> 00:11:44,266 what are you going to do about your patient? My job as chief resident. 196 00:11:44,340 --> 00:11:47,332 - How about you do your job? - I can't. 197 00:11:47,410 --> 00:11:50,846 - I don't know what to do. - Stevens. She's your patient. 198 00:11:50,913 --> 00:11:55,282 He's... her loved one. Come on, you know what to do. 199 00:11:55,351 --> 00:11:56,750 It's just hard to do it. 200 00:11:59,155 --> 00:12:01,885 - OK, I'll try. - No, you don't have to try. 201 00:12:01,958 --> 00:12:05,450 You're a doctor trained by me, with all the skills that God gave you. 202 00:12:05,528 --> 00:12:07,291 You have everything you need. 203 00:12:11,968 --> 00:12:13,458 Each one teach one. 204 00:12:13,536 --> 00:12:15,094 [Door opens] 205 00:12:15,171 --> 00:12:17,731 - Where are we? - Sloan, Hahn and Torres are done. 206 00:12:17,807 --> 00:12:19,832 - We're up. - [Cristina] Unclamped the vein. 207 00:12:19,909 --> 00:12:22,207 - Blood flow is good to the liver. - [Door closes] 208 00:12:22,278 --> 00:12:25,770 - Right, chief? - Absolutely right. Good job. 209 00:12:25,848 --> 00:12:28,715 - [Bailey] Good, then we're ready to... - [monitor beeping] 210 00:12:30,386 --> 00:12:33,378 [# Adele: Hometown Glory] 211 00:12:38,694 --> 00:12:40,355 [Exhales] 212 00:12:40,429 --> 00:12:43,796 I think I liked it better when you were saying boring science stuff. 213 00:12:43,866 --> 00:12:45,834 [Laughs softly] 214 00:12:48,905 --> 00:12:50,930 I'm never good enough. 215 00:12:52,208 --> 00:12:54,642 No matter what I say or what I do. 216 00:12:56,646 --> 00:12:58,546 I never wanted to do this. 217 00:12:59,949 --> 00:13:02,782 This clinical trial is making me a failure. 218 00:13:05,655 --> 00:13:11,287 I fail her over and over and over. 219 00:13:14,297 --> 00:13:15,821 You mean "them." 220 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,731 When you say, "fail her," you mean, "fail them." 221 00:13:22,772 --> 00:13:24,239 The patients. 222 00:13:38,754 --> 00:13:41,689 He's gonna need an embolectomy. Call Hahn back here. 223 00:13:41,757 --> 00:13:45,249 - A clot in the right pulmonary artery. - I could get to it. 224 00:13:45,328 --> 00:13:47,319 - Hahn will assess him. - I can get to it. 225 00:13:47,396 --> 00:13:50,490 The lung retracts, leaving the area for embolectomy clear. 226 00:13:50,566 --> 00:13:53,592 He's already severely compromised. We'd waste time, 227 00:13:53,669 --> 00:13:57,036 time his brain won't be perfusing. It'll take me seconds. 228 00:13:57,106 --> 00:13:59,574 I've done it before. With Burke. 229 00:14:01,310 --> 00:14:03,005 I promised this kid he'd live. 230 00:14:05,314 --> 00:14:07,509 Dr. Bailey, take over CPR. 231 00:14:07,583 --> 00:14:10,074 Yang, I'm right here if you need me. 232 00:14:14,824 --> 00:14:16,257 Ten-blade. 233 00:14:22,131 --> 00:14:23,792 [Door opens] 234 00:14:27,737 --> 00:14:29,068 [Exhales] 235 00:14:31,774 --> 00:14:34,174 You don't have to do this. 236 00:14:34,243 --> 00:14:37,542 - Come on. What are you, scared? - Yes. 237 00:14:40,416 --> 00:14:41,713 Me, too. 238 00:14:42,752 --> 00:14:46,654 So let's just leap. OK? 239 00:14:48,991 --> 00:14:50,618 OK. 240 00:14:54,964 --> 00:14:56,295 [Inhales] 241 00:14:56,365 --> 00:14:58,026 [Exhales] 242 00:14:59,502 --> 00:15:00,901 [Door opens] 243 00:15:03,205 --> 00:15:05,173 - What happened? - He threw a PE. 244 00:15:05,241 --> 00:15:07,505 Yang would be the best person to open him up? 245 00:15:07,576 --> 00:15:10,545 - She's a cardiac savant. - Is that why she went through 246 00:15:10,613 --> 00:15:13,946 - the fourth intercostal space? - Couldn't get in through fifth. 247 00:15:14,016 --> 00:15:17,281 - Gauze pushing the diaphragm up. - This could be easier 248 00:15:17,353 --> 00:15:20,584 - under fluoro. - Already had the TEE. I'm doing fine. 249 00:15:20,656 --> 00:15:23,124 Reach it better... Forget it. I'll do it. 250 00:15:23,192 --> 00:15:24,887 - Gown, please. - I've got this. 251 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:28,088 - No, if you had done it... - Just shut up and let me work. 252 00:15:30,366 --> 00:15:32,231 Let her work, Dr. Hahn. 253 00:15:44,413 --> 00:15:48,076 Shepherd scheduled two craniotomies for the clinical trial today? 254 00:15:48,150 --> 00:15:51,642 - Yes, we lost the first one... - I told Meredith one patient. 255 00:15:51,721 --> 00:15:55,054 - Dr. Grey said she cleared it with you. - Did she? 256 00:15:56,459 --> 00:16:02,022 - I... Sir, I might be mistaken. - I don't think you are. 257 00:16:06,102 --> 00:16:10,835 - She's holding steady. - The ICP's 13. 258 00:16:10,906 --> 00:16:13,204 - We'll see. - Derek. 259 00:16:13,909 --> 00:16:18,039 She's still alive. We've gotten this far. 260 00:16:18,114 --> 00:16:21,572 - She's still alive. - For how long? 261 00:16:22,084 --> 00:16:24,518 - You can go. - I'll stay with her. 262 00:16:24,587 --> 00:16:28,546 No, it's just... I'll do it. You can go. 263 00:16:44,473 --> 00:16:46,703 [Sighs] 264 00:16:46,776 --> 00:16:49,267 Yang flew solo, 265 00:16:49,345 --> 00:16:53,281 and you should be celebrating because that means you're doing your job. 266 00:16:53,349 --> 00:16:55,613 Teaching her how to save a life. 267 00:16:57,153 --> 00:17:00,179 Residents are like puppies, 268 00:17:00,256 --> 00:17:03,384 eager and enthusiastic, and you need to learn how to teach 269 00:17:03,459 --> 00:17:05,222 without crushing their spirit. 270 00:17:05,861 --> 00:17:09,319 Now you want to work here with my residents, 271 00:17:09,398 --> 00:17:13,528 then you need to do better. You need to be a better teacher. 272 00:17:19,608 --> 00:17:20,939 [Exhales] 273 00:17:28,651 --> 00:17:33,782 - Don't make me regret backing you up. - No, sir. Absolutely not, sir. 274 00:17:33,856 --> 00:17:37,223 - Thank you, sir. - Puppies. 275 00:17:43,966 --> 00:17:45,331 [Izzie] Rebecca. 276 00:17:45,768 --> 00:17:49,033 This is Dr. Shapiro from Psych. He's gonna be examining you. 277 00:17:49,104 --> 00:17:52,073 - [Alex] Iz... - Ask questions while Karev and I talk. 278 00:18:03,886 --> 00:18:06,616 - What did I tell you? - She's my patient. 279 00:18:06,689 --> 00:18:10,147 I decide her treatment. I am not releasing her without a consult. 280 00:18:10,226 --> 00:18:13,684 If you try to take her without my OK, I will have you arrested. 281 00:18:13,762 --> 00:18:15,821 - You can't have me arrested. - Try me. 282 00:18:15,898 --> 00:18:19,425 Look, Iz, you're worried. I see that, and I understand. 283 00:18:19,502 --> 00:18:21,697 But you're being a little unreasonable. 284 00:18:21,770 --> 00:18:25,365 - I've got this. - No, you don't have it. I have it. 285 00:18:25,441 --> 00:18:27,500 - I'm taking her home. - No. No! 286 00:18:28,444 --> 00:18:31,208 - You gonna bodily restrain me? - I will if I have to. 287 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:32,804 - Hit a woman? - If I have to. 288 00:18:32,882 --> 00:18:37,012 Alex, she's sick. She needs help you cannot possibly give her. 289 00:18:37,086 --> 00:18:39,145 - I can take care of her. - No, you can't. 290 00:18:39,221 --> 00:18:42,384 You have no idea. You could do damage by taking her home. 291 00:18:42,458 --> 00:18:44,892 I can take care of her. I've done this before. 292 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,520 - Alex... - She's just going through a bad patch. 293 00:18:47,596 --> 00:18:49,962 People go through a bad patch. All right? 294 00:18:50,032 --> 00:18:52,330 I can feed her and I can... I can change her, 295 00:18:52,401 --> 00:18:55,859 and I can bathe her and I can watch her. Until the bad patch is over, 296 00:18:55,938 --> 00:19:00,534 I can take care of her. I took care of my mom, and I can take care of her. 297 00:19:01,944 --> 00:19:04,879 - You've done this before. - I've done this before. 298 00:19:04,947 --> 00:19:07,211 I have done this before, Izzie. 299 00:19:07,283 --> 00:19:11,242 But I was a kid then, and I'm a man now, so I'll be better at it. 300 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,413 - I have done this before. - Stop. 301 00:19:15,090 --> 00:19:17,217 You don't have to say anymore. 302 00:19:35,945 --> 00:19:37,276 [Squirts] 303 00:20:05,774 --> 00:20:08,208 - You're here early. - I never went home. 304 00:20:08,277 --> 00:20:11,804 You'd want to monitor your patient. I figured you were tired. 305 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,974 - How is he? - His vitals are stable. 306 00:20:15,050 --> 00:20:17,644 He received 16 liters over the first 24 hours. 307 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:23,022 I changed it down to 1 25 cc's per hour. Urine output's at 37 cc's per hour. 308 00:20:23,092 --> 00:20:26,255 He had some anxiety at 3am, and then again at 5am, 309 00:20:26,328 --> 00:20:30,321 - which I treated with diphenhydramine. - Good. Good job. 310 00:20:30,566 --> 00:20:32,500 It's not a good job. 311 00:20:34,603 --> 00:20:39,040 - O'Malley? - It's not a good job for me. 312 00:20:40,209 --> 00:20:43,645 Sitting by his bedside recording urine output 313 00:20:43,712 --> 00:20:48,479 and giving antianxiety meds all night. It's not a good job for me. 314 00:20:48,550 --> 00:20:51,986 Running labs for Meredith Grey, that's not a good job for me. 315 00:20:52,054 --> 00:20:54,614 It's not a good job because I'm better than that, 316 00:20:54,690 --> 00:20:58,820 and you know I'm better than that. Maybe if I wasn't good at my job 317 00:20:58,894 --> 00:21:03,160 or maybe if I had struggled and was lagging behind... 318 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:08,668 My personality, I'm not Karev, I'm not Yang, I'm not Meredith. 319 00:21:08,737 --> 00:21:12,503 I'm not hardened, I get that. I get it. 320 00:21:12,574 --> 00:21:15,543 I don't have the personality of a surgeon. 321 00:21:15,611 --> 00:21:18,239 Maybe that's why you made the mistake 322 00:21:18,313 --> 00:21:21,441 of not thinking that I deserve a second chance 323 00:21:21,517 --> 00:21:24,077 when everyone else around here has gotten one. 324 00:21:24,153 --> 00:21:27,486 But, sir, it is a mistake because I'm excellent. 325 00:21:27,589 --> 00:21:30,752 I'm excellent at my job. And I did fail my test, 326 00:21:30,826 --> 00:21:33,852 but I deserve a second chance. 327 00:21:39,768 --> 00:21:41,133 OK. 328 00:21:43,305 --> 00:21:47,298 - OK? - OK, you can retake the test. 329 00:21:53,348 --> 00:21:54,781 OK. 330 00:21:56,351 --> 00:21:58,945 She hasn't woken up yet. 331 00:21:59,021 --> 00:22:02,821 Sometimes it takes longer with brain surgery for the body to recover. 332 00:22:03,492 --> 00:22:06,484 But she could not wake up? 333 00:22:06,562 --> 00:22:09,690 - Could she die? - That's a possibility, 334 00:22:09,765 --> 00:22:12,529 but I'd rather not worry about that until we have to. 335 00:22:12,601 --> 00:22:14,967 - When? - When what? 336 00:22:16,505 --> 00:22:19,736 When will we have to start worrying about that? 337 00:22:31,420 --> 00:22:35,447 - Still here. Sleep in the waiting room? - Look, I like him. 338 00:22:35,524 --> 00:22:38,084 All right, I do. But he doesn't need to know that. 339 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,492 - Nobody needs to know that. - He needs you, 340 00:22:40,562 --> 00:22:43,622 - and you're worried about your friends? - What do you know? 341 00:22:43,699 --> 00:22:48,466 Do you know what it'd be like for me, for him, if they knew? Think it's easy? 342 00:22:50,639 --> 00:22:52,368 I think it's better to be honest. 343 00:22:55,778 --> 00:23:00,772 He's alive. Barely, but... he's alive. 344 00:23:08,490 --> 00:23:11,391 I, uh, called your husband. 345 00:23:11,460 --> 00:23:14,793 He says he took the baby and left you two months ago. 346 00:23:16,532 --> 00:23:19,524 He says... 347 00:23:28,243 --> 00:23:32,236 You have something called underlying borderline personality disorder, 348 00:23:32,314 --> 00:23:36,375 which means you were fragile to start with, so this... 349 00:23:36,451 --> 00:23:39,045 This has probably been coming on for a while. 350 00:23:39,655 --> 00:23:43,091 Probably since your... your accident. 351 00:23:43,158 --> 00:23:44,955 Then they changed your face. 352 00:23:46,929 --> 00:23:48,726 I helped change your face. 353 00:23:50,032 --> 00:23:51,829 You couldn't... 354 00:23:55,704 --> 00:23:58,764 You need help, Rebecca, and I can't give it to you. 355 00:24:03,612 --> 00:24:06,979 So you're gonna stay here tonight, and tomorrow... 356 00:24:09,518 --> 00:24:13,079 Tomorrow, they're gonna transfer you to a psychiatric facility. 357 00:24:15,123 --> 00:24:16,920 - I think that's better. - [Sobs] 358 00:24:19,194 --> 00:24:20,786 [Whispers] I'm sorry. 359 00:24:25,601 --> 00:24:27,432 I really tried. 360 00:24:29,304 --> 00:24:31,636 I wanted to be better for you. 361 00:24:34,543 --> 00:24:37,273 I know how hard it is for you to trust people, 362 00:24:37,346 --> 00:24:40,281 and I wanted to be someone you could depend on. 363 00:24:40,349 --> 00:24:41,873 [Sobs] 364 00:24:41,950 --> 00:24:43,679 [Whispers] I'm sorry. 365 00:24:45,954 --> 00:24:47,353 I'm sorry. 366 00:24:49,992 --> 00:24:53,189 It's OK. You tried. 367 00:24:58,467 --> 00:25:02,335 So you convinced Shepherd to do the second surgery without my approval. 368 00:25:02,404 --> 00:25:05,237 - So? - So? 369 00:25:06,475 --> 00:25:08,943 That's how you speak to the chief, "So?" 370 00:25:11,179 --> 00:25:15,377 My mother tried to kill herself after you left. Did you know that? 371 00:25:17,319 --> 00:25:21,949 - Did you know that? - I didn't know that. 372 00:25:22,024 --> 00:25:25,687 - I'm sorry. I didn't know. - She was a brilliant surgeon. 373 00:25:26,862 --> 00:25:28,921 How could you do that to her? 374 00:25:29,731 --> 00:25:34,259 She was a talented, gifted, extraordinary surgeon. 375 00:25:38,607 --> 00:25:39,767 Meredith? 376 00:25:48,917 --> 00:25:51,044 - Tell me. - She was a surgeon. 377 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:54,555 An excellent surgeon. If she was really trying to kill herself, 378 00:25:54,623 --> 00:25:57,387 she wouldn't have slit her wrists. She knew better. 379 00:25:57,459 --> 00:26:00,360 She would've taken the scalpel, cut her carotid artery. 380 00:26:00,429 --> 00:26:03,694 Would've taken seconds to die. She didn't really want to die. 381 00:26:03,765 --> 00:26:06,598 She was an excellent, gifted, extraordinary surgeon. 382 00:26:06,668 --> 00:26:09,102 - Didn't want to die. - What did she want? 383 00:26:09,171 --> 00:26:12,538 - She wanted Richard to come back. - And why didn't he come back? 384 00:26:12,607 --> 00:26:16,771 Well, because he never knew about it, and she was too stubborn to ask. 385 00:26:17,713 --> 00:26:20,546 - What does that mean? - Well, that part I don't know. 386 00:26:20,615 --> 00:26:22,776 Could you just tell me that part for once? 387 00:26:23,318 --> 00:26:24,876 I can. 388 00:26:24,953 --> 00:26:27,751 It means that you are a gifted, 389 00:26:27,823 --> 00:26:31,156 talented, extraordinary surgeon, exactly like your mother, 390 00:26:31,226 --> 00:26:35,390 but the difference is you get to learn from her mistakes. 391 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,462 Be extraordinary. 392 00:26:43,605 --> 00:26:47,803 - She wasn't talking about surgery. - No, she wasn't. 393 00:26:50,679 --> 00:26:52,943 She wasn't talking about surgery at all. 394 00:27:04,593 --> 00:27:07,562 Well, do I or do I not keep my promises? 395 00:27:09,031 --> 00:27:12,728 - [Groans] You do. - [Chuckles] 396 00:27:12,801 --> 00:27:16,168 And remember what I said about the bigger picture? 397 00:27:17,539 --> 00:27:19,200 Yeah. 398 00:27:46,134 --> 00:27:47,396 [Laughs] 399 00:27:47,469 --> 00:27:50,063 He's been waiting his whole life for that, huh? 400 00:27:50,138 --> 00:27:51,662 Yes, he has. 401 00:28:00,782 --> 00:28:02,443 - Are those Beth's films? - Yes. 402 00:28:02,517 --> 00:28:05,384 These are from two days ago, and these are from today. 403 00:28:05,454 --> 00:28:08,287 Would you hand me the calipers, please? 404 00:28:15,130 --> 00:28:18,190 This one is smaller than that one. The tumor's shrinking. 405 00:28:18,266 --> 00:28:20,860 - The virus is working. - Oh, my God. [laughs] 406 00:28:21,470 --> 00:28:26,601 - You have to go tell Derek. - No. You have to tell Derek. 407 00:28:26,675 --> 00:28:29,269 It's the kind of news he'd want to hear from you. 408 00:28:31,379 --> 00:28:33,404 Rose. 409 00:28:33,482 --> 00:28:36,940 Congratulations on your major medical breakthrough. 410 00:28:37,018 --> 00:28:39,350 It's the stuff of legends. 411 00:28:45,494 --> 00:28:48,952 - Hey! - Take the sparkle pager back. 412 00:28:49,030 --> 00:28:50,497 I am drunk on the power. 413 00:28:50,565 --> 00:28:53,261 - Where is it? - I think it might actually be mystical. 414 00:28:53,335 --> 00:28:54,893 - Have you seen Derek? - Nope. 415 00:28:58,540 --> 00:29:03,102 - Um... You paged, Dr. Yang? - Grab that banana from my cubby. 416 00:29:06,882 --> 00:29:09,680 You... You want me to peel it for you? 417 00:29:09,751 --> 00:29:12,549 I want you to learn running whip stitch. I'll teach it. 418 00:29:12,621 --> 00:29:14,145 Take the needle. 419 00:29:15,757 --> 00:29:17,019 - Chart. - Here you go. 420 00:29:17,092 --> 00:29:18,354 Thank you. 421 00:29:19,094 --> 00:29:21,085 [Muffled sobbing] 422 00:29:37,312 --> 00:29:38,472 Hi. 423 00:29:43,818 --> 00:29:45,285 Hey. 424 00:29:46,855 --> 00:29:48,186 You're alive. 425 00:29:51,526 --> 00:29:53,790 Yeah. I'm alive. 426 00:30:05,740 --> 00:30:08,072 Not just for show anymore. 427 00:30:10,612 --> 00:30:12,102 - No. - [Beth breathing heavily] 428 00:30:24,192 --> 00:30:25,557 [Rustling] 429 00:30:27,462 --> 00:30:29,623 That's not sanitary. 430 00:30:31,466 --> 00:30:33,457 A little closer together. Try again. 431 00:30:34,603 --> 00:30:36,537 - Dr. Yang, thank you for... - Uh-huh. 432 00:30:44,145 --> 00:30:45,612 How'd it go? 433 00:30:47,716 --> 00:30:50,810 - Awful. [clears throat] - Yeah. 434 00:30:56,925 --> 00:30:59,325 OK. Um... 435 00:30:59,394 --> 00:31:01,328 These are for you. 436 00:31:02,330 --> 00:31:04,230 Why give me your keys to the clinic? 437 00:31:04,299 --> 00:31:07,735 I'm not giving you my keys to the clinic. I'm giving you the clinic. 438 00:31:07,802 --> 00:31:09,895 What? 439 00:31:09,971 --> 00:31:13,771 I've seen the bigger picture. I love the clinic. 440 00:31:13,842 --> 00:31:16,333 I love what it means, I love what it is. 441 00:31:16,411 --> 00:31:18,879 But I don't love it as much as I love surgery. 442 00:31:18,947 --> 00:31:22,849 I don't love it as much as I love being chief resident. 443 00:31:22,917 --> 00:31:26,910 I don't love it as much as I love my husband and my child. 444 00:31:27,956 --> 00:31:29,719 I have seen the bigger picture, 445 00:31:29,791 --> 00:31:34,558 and I can't do everything and still have everything. 446 00:31:34,629 --> 00:31:39,589 So I have to... let some pieces go. 447 00:31:40,468 --> 00:31:45,269 This piece. This is your piece. 448 00:31:45,340 --> 00:31:48,741 I've watched you earn this piece 449 00:31:48,810 --> 00:31:51,938 the hard way, the awful way. 450 00:31:52,013 --> 00:31:57,645 Knowing that I can give the clinic to someone like you. 451 00:31:57,719 --> 00:32:03,715 You have grown into a fine doctor, Izzie Stevens. 452 00:32:07,896 --> 00:32:08,988 Thank you. 453 00:32:17,105 --> 00:32:20,768 The Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic is in your hands. 454 00:32:20,842 --> 00:32:22,605 You make me proud. 455 00:32:22,677 --> 00:32:25,669 [# Bryn Christopher: The Quest] 456 00:32:31,553 --> 00:32:33,453 Derek! 457 00:32:33,521 --> 00:32:34,954 He's not there. 458 00:32:37,225 --> 00:32:38,817 Oh. 459 00:32:44,933 --> 00:32:46,491 I'm not a bad man. 460 00:32:47,635 --> 00:32:52,038 I know I'm the villain in your story, but I'm not a bad man. 461 00:32:58,613 --> 00:33:00,012 [Closes trunk] 462 00:33:00,081 --> 00:33:02,811 So you want to finish what we started yesterday? 463 00:33:02,884 --> 00:33:04,909 Or you can finish what you started. 464 00:33:13,495 --> 00:33:14,587 I'm growing. 465 00:33:16,097 --> 00:33:17,394 Go. Get outta here. 466 00:33:28,910 --> 00:33:30,172 Hey. [exhales] 467 00:33:30,245 --> 00:33:32,543 I wanted to see if you wanted to grab a drink. 468 00:33:32,614 --> 00:33:35,777 - I can't find my keys. - Maybe we could, um... 469 00:33:37,619 --> 00:33:40,554 - Something I wanted to talk about. - I had the damn keys. 470 00:33:40,622 --> 00:33:43,056 I put them in this bag, but I can't remember... 471 00:33:43,124 --> 00:33:46,321 - This whole thing with Yang... - Erica. 472 00:33:46,394 --> 00:33:50,194 - What? - I'm saying something here. 473 00:33:55,069 --> 00:33:57,094 I just... I wanted to say... 474 00:34:00,975 --> 00:34:02,203 I just wanted to say... 475 00:34:07,715 --> 00:34:08,943 Meredith! 476 00:34:17,392 --> 00:34:20,657 - Richard? - I want to come home. 477 00:34:20,728 --> 00:34:23,219 - Richard! - I am a good man. 478 00:34:23,298 --> 00:34:24,925 I'm a good man. 479 00:34:24,999 --> 00:34:28,526 I spend my days being a good man for the hospital, for my residents, 480 00:34:28,603 --> 00:34:30,093 for my patients. 481 00:34:30,472 --> 00:34:34,033 I'm a good man who made one mistake with a woman 20 years ago. 482 00:34:34,108 --> 00:34:37,874 I am a good man for everybody but you. I know that. 483 00:34:37,946 --> 00:34:41,939 Don't you think I know that? But I am a good man. 484 00:34:42,016 --> 00:34:44,211 And I am your husband... 485 00:34:45,220 --> 00:34:46,687 ...and I love you. 486 00:34:48,289 --> 00:34:52,453 Now, I am not asking you to come home. 487 00:34:52,527 --> 00:34:54,722 I'm telling you. 488 00:34:54,796 --> 00:34:59,130 I am your husband, and I want to come home to my wife. 489 00:35:00,568 --> 00:35:01,557 [Exhales] 490 00:35:03,238 --> 00:35:04,432 [Exhales] 491 00:35:08,042 --> 00:35:09,634 Well... 492 00:35:10,979 --> 00:35:12,640 ...it's about time. 493 00:35:17,085 --> 00:35:18,609 Meredith. 494 00:35:27,395 --> 00:35:30,455 - I'm retaking my intern test. - Oh, my God. 495 00:35:30,532 --> 00:35:33,467 I talked to the chief, made my case, I'm taking the test. 496 00:35:33,535 --> 00:35:37,062 Lexie, I know I was mad before, but thank you, thank you, thank you. 497 00:35:37,739 --> 00:35:40,902 Thank you. Get out the liquor, 'cause we are celebrating. 498 00:35:54,589 --> 00:35:56,784 - I'm sorry. - Whatever. 499 00:36:05,833 --> 00:36:07,858 Not whatever. 500 00:36:07,936 --> 00:36:09,426 I'm sorry. 501 00:36:10,405 --> 00:36:12,839 About Rebecca and your mom. 502 00:36:14,842 --> 00:36:16,605 I'm sorry. 503 00:36:23,785 --> 00:36:26,185 - Alex. - [Whispers] Please. 504 00:36:26,788 --> 00:36:28,756 Just this once. 505 00:36:30,425 --> 00:36:32,950 Just for this one night, please. 506 00:36:33,027 --> 00:36:34,460 Please. 507 00:37:01,222 --> 00:37:03,156 [Sobs] 508 00:37:04,158 --> 00:37:07,389 [Sobbing] Please. Please. 509 00:37:19,407 --> 00:37:20,601 [Clicks] 510 00:37:21,509 --> 00:37:22,942 [Exhales] 511 00:37:24,312 --> 00:37:25,779 We goin' home. 512 00:37:28,049 --> 00:37:30,415 [Grunts] Home to Daddy. 513 00:37:31,552 --> 00:37:33,315 Yeah. Yeah. 514 00:37:33,855 --> 00:37:36,255 [Birds hooting] 515 00:37:37,291 --> 00:37:38,815 Meredith? 516 00:37:46,834 --> 00:37:49,428 [# Ida Maria: Keep Me Warm] 517 00:37:51,673 --> 00:37:55,541 [Meredith] Stupid, corny, idiotic. I cannot believe I did this. 518 00:37:55,610 --> 00:37:59,478 Stupid loser. Son of a... I could be at home instead of... 519 00:37:59,547 --> 00:38:00,536 [scoffs] 520 00:38:00,615 --> 00:38:02,549 - Stupid brain man. - Meredith. 521 00:38:02,617 --> 00:38:04,346 Where have you been? 522 00:38:04,419 --> 00:38:08,446 I've been waiting and waiting for you, and I did this stupid, embarrassing, 523 00:38:08,523 --> 00:38:11,959 humiliating, corny thing, and I was gonna tell you that this here 524 00:38:12,026 --> 00:38:16,122 is our kitchen and this is our living room, 525 00:38:16,197 --> 00:38:18,927 and that's the room where our kids could play. 526 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,332 I had this thing, "I was gonna build us a house," 527 00:38:21,402 --> 00:38:23,529 but I don't build houses. I'm a surgeon. 528 00:38:23,604 --> 00:38:27,370 And now I'm here feeling like a lame-ass loser. 529 00:38:27,442 --> 00:38:31,742 I got all whole and healed, and you don't show up. 530 00:38:31,813 --> 00:38:34,077 It's ruined because you took so long. 531 00:38:34,148 --> 00:38:36,878 And I couldn't even find that bottle of champagne. 532 00:38:44,959 --> 00:38:46,358 This is the kitchen? 533 00:38:47,361 --> 00:38:49,295 Living room? 534 00:38:50,665 --> 00:38:52,394 Little small. 535 00:38:52,467 --> 00:38:55,129 I think the view is much better from here. 536 00:38:55,203 --> 00:38:57,831 And that's the room where the kids are gonna play? [laughs] 537 00:39:02,810 --> 00:39:04,300 Where's our bedroom? 538 00:39:05,646 --> 00:39:08,809 I'm still mad at you, and I don't know if I trust you. 539 00:39:08,883 --> 00:39:11,647 I want to, but I don't know if I do. I'm just gonna try. 540 00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:13,983 I'm gonna try and trust you. I believe that 541 00:39:14,055 --> 00:39:18,321 we can be extraordinary together rather than ordinary apart, and I wanna be... 542 00:39:44,018 --> 00:39:46,578 - I have to go. - What? 543 00:39:46,654 --> 00:39:49,487 In order to kiss you the way I want to kiss you, 544 00:39:49,557 --> 00:39:52,458 in order to do more than kiss you, 545 00:39:52,527 --> 00:39:55,052 I need to speak to Rose. 546 00:39:55,129 --> 00:39:59,828 I want my conscience clear so that I can do more than kiss you. 547 00:40:00,334 --> 00:40:01,665 [Exhales] 548 00:40:03,204 --> 00:40:04,535 Stay here. 549 00:40:06,007 --> 00:40:07,702 Don't move. 550 00:40:08,910 --> 00:40:10,377 Wait for me.