- Okay, merge to the left. - [CHUCKLES]
- No. Merge. Merge left! - What?
You are going twice the speed limit.
Well, how was I meant to bloody know that?
- I don't know. - That guy's too close.
- He's a bully! - You're fine.
- He's just a bully. - This isn't funny!
[LAUGHING]
What, no compliments on me checking my mirrors?
- [LAUGHS] - Oh, my God!
- I think I'm doing pretty... - No. No!
- Okay. - No.
[LAUGHING]
Why? Why are you so bad at this?
- I'm not so bad. - I hate this!
You need to hire a professional instructor.
No. No, don't hate me. Love me.
Okay, I love you.
What?
[LAUGHS]
Sorry.
You love me?
Yeah! Yes. Yes.
I suppose.
- Me? - Yeah.
Okay.
You know, when I said...
Like, I didn't mean...
- I didn't mean... - Yeah. Yeah, I know.
I-I realize that now.
It was a... expression.
Mm-hmm.
Like, I love you.
But...
it doesn't seem like the best time.
Yeah. Yeah, no.
Just, uh, drive home now.
Also...
because of my life.
- Red light. Red light! - [SCREAMS]
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com
Did you say it back? You're supposed to say it back.
Just endlessly back and forth until you die.
Of course I said it back.
If I were you, I would have him set the pace
and then copy his every move.
That's what he has been doing.
What did it feel like to say it back?
Okay, flip.
It felt like there'd been this thing
I've been wanting to do for ages,
building up all this pressure
and then, like, the pressure got released.
Like popping a pimple or like Chernobyl.
Just sounds exhausting.
Saying I love you just ties you to one more person
who wants something from you.
[LAUGHING] Has that been a huge problem for you, Genevieve?
Permission to talk about me now.
NICHOLAS: Yes, Matilda.
Usually girls bake sweet treats
for the soccer players if they like them.
What kind of cake should I make Luke?
I feel like baked goods haven't lured a man
since World War II.
Matilda, please don't bake Luke anything.
What if I were to make a huge cake pop,
like the world's biggest cake pop.
Okay, I'm done.
What do you girls think?
Do you girls think I should be in love with Alex?
I mean, he is very gay.
Yeah, that's a requirement.
Like, like, instead of an actual personality,
he went to the store and picked the gay one.
Just right off the shelf.
That's not true, is it? Is it?
We like Alex, don't we? He's very charming.
I think you need real friends.
You're asking advice from a 15-year-old.
And a 17-year-old and Larry.
Genevieve, do you hate Alex?
Of course I don't hate Alex.
This is very stressful.
I thought this was gonna be fun,
but it feels very serious, doesn't it?
Jumpin' over to the O's. We have O-69.
ALL: Dinner for two, sauce on the side.
That's my friend. She's my friend.
- Cool. - Yeah.
Yes, yes.
It's our Sneezy B, everybody, B-2.
ALL: Bless you.
- Yes. - Oh, you got it.
- I know. I know, I-I see it. - No.
You're doing really great, Genevieve.
- There's no skill involved. - Okay. Yeah.
- WOMAN: Bingo! Bingo! - Oh!
- WOMAN: Bingo! - STANQI: All right, momma, okay.
You're gonna rip off the top page
- and you're gonna throw it at her. - Okay.
- Let's go. Let's go. - Take your run. Go, go, go.
ALL: Pelt her, pelt her,
all the way down, all the way back.
Pelt her, pelt her,
all the way down, all the way back.
Pelt her, pelt her,
all the way down, all the way back.
Pelt her, pelt her,
all the way down, all the way back.
- ALEX: I got the bitch in her face. - I gotta pee.
No, no, no. W-well, well, you can't pee.
[STAMMERING]: Who's gonna... What's gonna happen to your card?
I don't...
All right, I'll do it. Okay, great.
- Sure? Okay. - All right. Yeah.
Back to the B side. It's not malignant, it's what?
- ALL: B-9. - B-9.
I'm not sure she likes it here.
- NICHOLAS: Mm... - ALEX: Nicholas?
- Boom. - STANQI: I-16.
Nicholas?
- Look at me. - STANQI: O-72.
- O-72. - NICHOLAS: Mm...
Maybe it was a mistake to invite her.
No, that's just what her face looks like.
STANQI: N-44. Who got N-44?
I love you. I love you.
- NICHOLAS: Mm-mm-mm... - STANQI: G-52.
Yes, I love you too.
B-4. Is it G-4?
Genevieve, I played both of your cards
and it was one of the hardest things
I've ever done in my entire life.
STANQI: It's our disco G, G-54!
ALL: Ooh-hoo-ooh-hoo!
Genevieve, you got it.
- You won! - Oh, my God, Genevieve,
- you've got Bingo. This is Bingo. - I know.
- And you've got Bingo. - ALEX: Say "bingo."
- STANQI: ... everybody with I-22... - This is huge!
Genevieve, you're a winner. This is what winning feels like.
I don't... I don't wanna say it.
- I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna say it. - Sure. Well...
Bingo!
Sit down, Alex. You didn't even pay.
Okay, well, it's not mine, it's hers.
STANQI: Well, come on up here if you think you won somethin'.
I don't wanna go.
No, I think you have to. I mean, you just have to.
I really don't wanna go.
Get up here, girl. What's taking you so long?
It's fun. We're having fun.
STANQI: We're about to call another ball.
All right, you little vampire,
who'd you just bite the neck of?
[SOFTLY]: I'm not a vampire.
Take your run. Go, go, go.
ALL: Pelt her, pelt her,
all the way down, all the way back.
Pelt her, pelt her,
- all the way down, all the way back. - Stop that.
ALL: Pelt her, pelt her,
all the way down, all the way back.
Pelt her, pelt her,
all the way down, all the way back.
- You got me. Nice shot. - CROWD: Pelt her, pelt her,
all the way down, all the way back.
Honey, you gotta go back up to the stage.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It's gonna...
Can we go now?
Go?
We don't have to go, do we?
Back to our lives where we're losers?
Here we're winners. Look at them.
Look at them all.
Looking at us, wishing that they were us.
I did his stupid Bingo and now I wanna go.
It's not his. It's ours.
Babe.
Do you know how many gays had to die for us to do Bingo?
Do you know what I'd rather do than this?
Literally anything.
How did you think this would be fun for me?
What exactly is it about this tragic fun house of fake joy
that screams Genevieve to you?
Trying this hard to be fun is never fun.
It's desperate.
The whole thing is just one big cry for help.
Yeah, I'm gonna go get the car.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah. - GENEVIEVE: This is me!
And I'm not gonna have some personality change
just because you're demanding we have some bizarre exercise
of forced bonding with that guy.
Okay.
At least you got a prize.
We have a gardener.
Gorgeous driving.
So, I feel like we should talk about
the version of Genevieve
who came with us to Bingo today.
That's a thing we should do, yeah.
I'm really sorry.
Okay.
I-I don't know why I got so mad.
Like I got so mad, it was insane.
Yeah. [SIGHS]
I'm actually kinda scared to ask you this,
do you hate drag queens?
- No. No. - No?
You hate Alex, don't you?
It's irrational, but I can't help it.
Surely you're exaggerating a bit.
I mean, he's very charming.
I hate how charming he is.
I feel him actively trying to charm me
and it's so manipulative.
I don't think it's manipulative.
Being nice to someone with the sole purpose
of trying to make them like you
is really quite transparent.
This shouldn't come as a shock to you,
since I basically don't like anyone.
But you like me though, right?
- And I'm dating him, so... - So date him.
It's kinda hard to do when you're actively hating him.
Don't be so dramatic.
- [GASPS] - Just a little.
I mean, I can't keep dating him, can I?
I don't know why you would listen to those girls,
it's not up to them.
No, unfortunately it's up to me.
PENNY: When I dated Tim, the lawyer?
Yeah, yeah, I remember.
Hmm.
His daughter was rude to me for years.
I just ignored her.
I wasn't gonna let her win.
Isn't that why you broke up with him?
He was a premature ejaculator,
it had nothing to do with her.
He blamed me for that, too.
Okay, Mum.
[SIGHS]
I just have to. I just have to do it.
No, you don't. You have to go after what you want,
or you'll end up with nothing.
I could find somebody else.
You're not gonna meet anyone else. I'm quite serious.
Okay, Mum.
PENNY: Promise me that you won't.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I promise, I promise.
ALEX: Nicholas?
What's all this?
That's our odd socks.
This is too many odd socks.
This is my sock.
I have some news.
- Okay. - Yeah.
Um...
Genevieve hates you.
- What? - Yeah.
Who told you that?
Genevieve.
Why would you tell me this?
This hurts people's feelings.
I know that, like, you're used to this sort of thing,
but I'm not.
Excuse me?
Okay, like, you win people over.
But I'm used to being everyone's favorite.
This is out of my comfort zone.
I'm telling you because it means...
[SIGHS]
I don't think we can be boyfriends.
Ye... Yes, we can.
No.
No, we can't.
So when you said "I don't think..."
I meant I know.
Yeah, um...
Yeah, it's like, it's been decided, like, it's a thing...
It's a thing I decided.
[SIGHS]
- Where are you going? - I don't know.
- Somewhere else. - Can I come?
No.
Babe?
What are you doing?
I put some laundry in this morning,
'cause I thought I was gonna be here for a while,
but then plans changed, so...
You don't... You don't gotta, like...
You can stay until the cycle's finished.
No. I'm not gonna sit here while you're looking at me
wondering when your dumb ex-boyfriend is gonna leave.
I'll just make a smooth escape.
Hey, it's not like I don't want you here.
What if Genevieve comes home?
Give this to me.
I'm being a nice guy. I'm being...
I'm making sacrifices, what a hero would do.
This reason doesn't make sense, okay?
Just admit it. You're using her as an excuse
because you don't like me.
[BEEPS]
Come here.
Come with me.
Hey.
Okay, I don't know if you had this experience, but...
when I was in high school in Queensland,
there were, like, no out boys at my school,
and, um...
Like, let alone an out cute boy, so...
I didn't have anyone to have a crush on,
so I would focus all that...
teenage energy into, like,
imagining who my first great love would be.
And, like, what he would look like.
And, like, who I would be when I was with him.
And, like, how funny he would think I was.
- [LAUGHS] - And...
Like...
Like, you are that boy, you know.
You're that boy. And...
I'd be lying
if I said you exceeded my fantasies,
but, like...
you are very good.
And I do, like...
I really do love you.
[CHUCKLES]
Now I think this is even dumber than I did five minutes ago.
[SNIFFLES]
[LAUGHS]
My nipple.
Sorry.
I thought having break-up sex was gonna be fun,
but it's just making me really sad.
What if we just do whatever she likes,
like, always until eternity?
No.
I can't see you, but I can feel you being sad.
I'm just relaxing.
You're thinking you're gonna be old and alone
with no one left to love you but your bugs,
and bugs don't even live very long.
You gave terrible advice, Nicholas.
You are terrible at love.
Hayley Fostino made Luke a half a dozen vanilla cupcakes
and he loved 'em so much that he gave her a kiss on the cheek
and now it's on Instagram for the whole world to see.
You should never express negative feelings
about someone's partner
unless it's deemed an abusive situation
and it's a matter of safety.
I'm gonna work out how to fix it.
Genevieve, this is bad.
He's all we have left.
And if he doesn't like us anymore,
he's gonna go right back to Australia
and then, we're just gonna end up in some sort of
assisted living facility.
We might find an accommodation
but then there is a chance
that we might get separated.
You need to do your breathing exercises.
Okay.
[INHALES AND EXHALES]
[SOFTLY] One, two, three...
[SIGHS]
Nicholas!
Yes?
[PLAYS FAST-PACED NOTES]
Your presence is requested at the master "budor."
No, no, honey, honey, it's... it's boudoir.
Boudoir.
[PLAYS PIANO NOTES]
Your presence is requested in the master "budor."
No, no, sweetheart. It's boudoir.
- Boudoir. - Boudoir.
- Boudoir. Okay.
[PLAYS FAST-PACED NOTES]
Your presence is requested in the master boudoir.
Yeah.
Ta-da!
NICHOLAS: What's all this, then?
Your sanctuary.
You guys did all this for me?
You guys...
You printed stuff for me?
It's no big deal. It's nothing.
I mean, it's... it's something.
I'm looking at a lot of time and thought here.
Not necessarily time well spent or good thought, but...
[LAUGHING]
This is maybe the most effort
you guys have ever put into anything.
Doesn't matter. We just...
We thought you could have your own space.
The posters only took 45 minutes,
- but the hearts, two and half hours... - Okay.
and the gems, another 90 minutes.
Think he got it. You can stop.
It-it-it's... It's no big deal.
I mean, that's definitely hot glue.
Did you... Did you heat glue for me?
We used regular glue first but it wasn't sticky enough,
so we went to the garage and got the glue gun.
Okay, stop.
Just, let's go.
- Okay. - Come on. Yep, that way.
There you go.
This is yours now.
That's kinda the point.
[CHUCKLES]
Um, sorry the room is so gay.
Matilda just thought it was really funny.
[LAUGHS]
So how did you cope with the heartbreak?
I bought a camper van that doubles as a boat,
but, um, I can't bring it into America
because of insurance issues.
- So you handled it well? - Yeah. I mean,
I think I handled it well.
- Yeah, I think so too. - Yeah. You?
- I went on a date. - [GASPS]
- No! - What? You don't own me.
Oh, my God, how could you?
With the worst guy.
But it's a good story.
Mm-hmm.
This story is a gift for you.
Okay, all right. I like good stories.
- Okay. Yeah. - Okay.
Okay, so, you know, I'm, like,
into muscle daddies and stuff, right?
Ugh, gross. Why do we have to bring our dads into it?
Okay, well, anyway, so we go to sushi...
And I made the mistake of agreeing to an omakase.
- And an omakase is like a 13 course... - I know what an omakase is.
Don't you dare explain this to me.
We've been apart for two days.
Have you forgotten who I am?
Okay. Well, anyway, so it's a long meal, right?
Yes, it's very long.
And then, two courses in
and he starts telling me his theories on 9/11.
As if it's like open to interpretation.
Of course he did.
And, you know, this, like, hits close to home for me.
Yeah, for everybody.
Well, no, because my friend's mom died in 9/11.
Oh! Oh, no, you didn't tell me that.
- Yeah. Remember? - Yeah, you did tell me that.
- So I tell him that... - I do remember. Mm-hmm.
... and then he keeps going on and on
about the missing half billion in gold bullion
buried underneath the Twin Towers and...
Oh, my God, you hate this story.
- I'm boring you. - I don't hate the story.
You're like looking around and stuff.
I'm just doing a bit of looking. A bit of looking.
- [SIGHS] - Just looking and listening.
Listening, looking.
Well, okay, should I keep going or...
- Please. - Yeah.
So we're getting these courses of just, like,
the most amazing sushi you've ever had, right,
and he's not using chopsticks.
Like, he just keeps picking it up with his fingers
and instead of plopping it in in one bite
he just keeps tugging away at the fish,
- you know. Yeah, it's so bad, - That's bad.
you know, like, and then I can see it,
like, seeping through his teeth,
you know, like, when you bite into a bagel
and the cream cheese just, like, oozes through.
- That's bad. It's really bad, real bad. - It's funny. Right? Right?
- Right? Like, it's just nasty. - Yeah, it's bad.
And so, like, yeah.
Anyway, so, yeah, um...
that happened and...
God... now, I swear to God, this was...
a funny story when I told it before,
but you're just like making it all weird.
I'm not being weird.
I'm being normal.
Okay, well, whatever.
Anyway, so, like, with tax and tip and sake included,
I ended up paying $320.
That's a lot.
Right. Yeah.
It's good. That's a funny story.
- Yeah? - Yeah, it's funny.
- You're totally lying. - I am not lying.
Okay.
[VIDEO GAME SOUNDS]
Now that he's back I don't think I like him.
No, no, no. You like him.
- I don't know if I do. - You do.
I can't un-hear what you said about him.
No, this is not my fault.
It's your fault, yeah, it is.
This is you being erratic.
- I'm not erratic. - You're erratic.
- I'm not erratic! - You're erratic.
So I like him?
Yeah. Yeah, you like him.
Okay.
- Yep. - Okay.
Get back out there.
Yeah.
♪♪
[ALEX CHUCKLES]
Larry, what do you think of this poem?
Okay, um...
"When you were born, you looked like an old man,
"A life only knowing wrinkles and folds
"curled up warm to protect your vital organs,
"and I think,
'Is this what it's like to love a reliable man?'"
Should I keep going?
Do you like it? Of course you do.
Everyone loves things that are about themselves.
"I wish I had that much joy and pride when I poop,
"giant paws rubbing in the grass
"creating your scent,
"if only it was so easy to leave my mark on the world,
"if only life's greatest danger was chocolate.
"If only school taught lessons in Larry.
If only..."
At the end there I kinda made it about myself.
I'm sorry.