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I am not the fine man you take me for
No no
I come in April to sell a string of horses
and try my luck
in the streams
What I got for the stock
I lost at the wheel,
and the flake I washed up
I drank the fuck away
I don't know as I'll get home at all
I sold my boots
I owe $9 to a whore
It looks like he
fell off the platform
It's just a broke-necked hoople, Al
That he posed us no threat was the judgment you come to even as you fuckin' snored
Turns on watch, Johnny,
until this Goddamn Hearst business settles out
And not that we lack options
like the sleep from which none awaken
Would you close your flap,
that I don't forego my boiled eggs?
Do you believe the speeches will be delivered tonight?
The speeches
the elections are hostage to the business of the camp,
which is bloody
murderous
And, you know
I don't like this tea
Too cool?
It's too weak
I do not make weak tea
I oughtn't to tease
I like mine unusually strong
You might have said, Seth
It's an easy thing to fix
You're right
I'm not a mind reader
I've said it now
My goodness
How am I?
I could wish your symptoms
further remitted
I find your answer vague
Doctor, has your medicine
dulled my faculties or do you wish to cloud your meaning?
You don't do as well as I'd hoped
Am I know losing my baby?
My opinion is
you will
And your symptoms make it prudent
to intervene
You're pained at the stomach
I'd
I'd laid that
to, to your medicine slowing my digestion
The spasm in the
muscles of your belly doesn't owe to slowed
digestion
And while you are bleeding less, that you bleed at all
with pain at the abdomen
argues against further delay
Have I time
to see to certain arrangements?
May I begin to see to mine?
I should be back in about
an hour and a half's time
Put your school things together, little one
If we know Hearst is coming, Boss,
why the fuck don't we strike first?
From the moment we leave the forest, Dan,
it's all a giving up and adjusting
Across the thoroughfare to slit that cocksucker's throat
We forego the rock
for the dagger,
arn distraction's use and deceptions
before the dagger is employed
spirits, women,
games of chance
I'm older, and I'm much less friendly to fuckin' change
Change ain't lookin' for friends
Change calls the tune we dance to
Where are you going?
Whiskey, Captain?
Morning, Miss Sunshine
Mornin', Cy
What can you tell a man at the margin of things?
Reason for these
cancelled speeches?
I don't know why they was cancelled
You seem a little sour
Don't think
lying here these weeks, I ain't had my dark moments
Thank God I took this book up again
If it really brings you peace, then I'm glad
Hell, yes, it brings me peace
Do you doubt that?
I try to believe
You want to read something with me, Honey?
"Same as you want to find a different way, then why couldn't Cy?"
Getting gut-stabbed by a Minister of God will
bring you to examine your path
But I don't
I had a gun to my ear at Shaunessy's yesterday
What the hell were you doing at Shaunessy's?
Staying away from here
You listen to me, young lady
What brings a gun to the temple
is lack of gainful occupation and of being useful to others!
I don't see you try to kill yourself here
All you do here is good for the girls, and me too
I don't want to run women no more
And that's turning from your gift
and your training!
When you speak, I feel like it's the devil talking
Ain't that a lovely thing to hear yourself accused of?
Excuse me, Mr. T, but
fucking Lila's in extremis
Jesus Christ!
Ought I get the Doc?
Leon seems over his head
She'll see to it
Yeah
Try to stay afloat from the fuckin' sickbed,
have to listen to something like that
Get the fuck inside, Leon,
before I take out my gun and kill you!
Joanie this ain't the way it looks
Get inside or get shot!
Well, hold her up then!
Got a long fuckin' way to fall down
Let me die, Joanie
Start walking, you lousy whore
Start walking
Slept inside, in case you wasn't aware
Miss Stubbs' request
Thought she'd try someone competent keeping watch
She's off to the Bella Union
I can't worry about her right now
Can you just help me lug in the fucking water?
I'm for the day
off the bottle
and about to bathe
Camp get up a petition?
I can sniff this all you want, Boss, but I
I ain't got one fuckin' scintilla of an idea what these marks mean
What if that's the door of our joint?
That would make
this line
the bar
What would that make the Xs?
Murderers?
See to your task with the Jew
A few fuckin' things history proves:
you sit still,
you fuckin' memorize, you repeat back what you fuckin' learn,
or,
choosing otherwise,
you display your knuckles to be struck fuckin' bloody on the fuckin' desk!
That how you gonna
start your talk to the children?
Shut the fuck up, Mose!
And don't tease me at a crucial fuckin' hour
Can I
listen?
From outside,
at your post near the shitter
Could you have been born, Richardson,
and not egg-hatched as I've always assumed?
Did your mother hover over you,
snaggle-toothed and
doting, as you now hover over me?
I loved my mother
Puberty may
bring you to understand
what we take for mother love
is really murderous hatred and a desire for revenge
Will you give your speech to be Mayor tonight?
Whatever night I give it,
count on me not to mince words
"Electors of the camp,
as to who should serve as Mayor,
reasonable men may differ
But as to who should be Sheriff
we all ought to speak with one voice
And our words should be,
'turn out the maniac Bullock,
who set upon the Mayor
unprovoked, who beat him
with merciless protraction.'
Bullock should be murdered!
We should rise up
and murder Bullock!
Thank you very much."
My father didn't like me
I'd like to use your ointment to suffocate you
May the little one walk with you?
Is that all right?
Of course
My mother's sick
We're closed for the next 15 minutes
Whiskey
Beer
I'm concerned it might be taken as provocation
me serving his whiskey before you getting your beer, or the very reversal of that
Just bring the whiskey
Fuckin' beer
And
these others, they friends of yours
that come in on your heels?
You friends of these boys, fellas?
Should I be taking your orders
all together?
And was yours the fuckin' beer?
Mine was the fuckin' whiskey
Right then
Right you fuckin' are
Make a move, cocksuckers!
Don't you shoot 'em, Johnny!
If these fellas had been sent here to draw,
I believe they'd have already done it
Go ahead
Go on, fellas
Mind the muck at the thoroughfare center
Debates are on for tonight,
whoever you might want to tell
I'll drink after I've ate
Nuh-uh, no no
You don't want
you don't want to go in there
Definitely a prudent investment
If I could control even one of my vices,
believe me,
I'd have kept the house myself
Excuse me
Oh, no
That's what these are for
Whether I ever fucking live there or not
My husband and I agreed
before marrying that
property held by either of us
before our union would not be encumbered by our
marriage
As to such properties held
by me
I name my ward Sofia
inheritor
I've heard her
I wish no amendment
as to guardianship
or administration of those properties
I've heard her
Ought not Mr. Bullock be present to accept?
This is property before our marriage
I know what it is
Don't he need to accept,
being steward now to Sofia's interests?
Why don't I go fetch him?
We have a special guest with us today
Miss Jane Cannary
An Indian scout!
There's a child I know
Sofia
Anyways, um,
I was a scout for Armstrong Custer
George
You're right, but I always called him
"General" to his face,
and "Armstrong" behind his back
Why?
James
I guess I
always spoke of him as "Armstrong"
'cause he seemed puffed up to me,
and "Armstrong" has a puffed up sound
Any quarrel with me continuing, James?
Go ahead
Uh-oh
Why say "uh-oh"?
If you don't mean to go on to explain yourself,
why say anything at all?!
Do you only feign stupidity while in fact plotting ways to madden me?!
No
Why did you say it?
Why did you say "Uh-oh"?!
It's the Sheriff that beat you
Now comes Mr. Hearst
Gentlemen
Two of his men throat-cut,
and he he picks the fuckin' fish
Why do you think the men were his?
My wife would like to see you
Kinda warm
The man
didn't listen
his basic fundamental problem
He'd look at hisself in the mirror when you'd make your report
Once I said to him
how thin his waist was
and how pretty I found his hair,
use to get him to turn around,
which he did
to tell me get out of his tent
So
I guess my lesson I got to teach you
listen
and you won't get scalped
And don't look at yourself too much in the mirror
What else I found puffy
he traveled with a dozen caged animals like you'd see in some zoo in the east
Like we don't have enough wild animals around here, huh?
Let us all thank Jane
for her bravery here today
Thank you, Jane
I know another brave person here, too
Several
More
More more more more
More more
All right
Wider
Not you!
All right
Sofia must be protected
If my first husband's family
attacks Sofias title in court,
Mr. Hearst might be approached as a purchaser
I'm sure he could buy the relevant authorities
All right
Given his history with Hearst,
I'd spare Mr. Ellsworth that indignity
I understand
Thank you, Mr. Bullock
I regret nothing
I bought the house
The house
I bought it
It doesn't mean we have to move in together
Please remind Sofia
that the full moon is in two days
All right
We three will watch it together
Davey is taking a chance not lettin' Al do the scrubbing
That's Davey's fucking problem
All right
Now Hearst
sent these two,
the two you had the drop on
That didn't draw
Yeah, he
sent the two that didn't draw, so that these two
wouldn't be so quick to their irons
And these two that you and Al murdered
Correct
These
these two
So, see, that give ma and Al time to cut their throats
Now that
was Hearst
showing Al his ass
And sending this diagram ahead
was him
signaling Al
his intention
Well, it was his preliminary signaling that he was gonna show his ass,
if Al was smart enough to know it
Now, otherwise,
if Al didn't know it was coming,
he'd have been surprised
when those two didn't back these two's play
Well, thinking that Al
would throw his hands up surprised shows that Hearst
ain't too smart!
Aw, he's smart, Johnny
I mean, they both, him and Al, are real fuckin' smart
That'd knock a buzzard off a shit wagon
I just
I feel shunted aside or the like, not involved as much as previous
Adams, you were busy with Star
That you sent me off to see
Thinking you'd be back before time for the murders
So it wasn't like a decision you made
to have the murders while I was signing the papers?
You've no idea how fuckin' badly you're boring me
Yeah?
That Captain's brought over another envelope
Won't you see with me what this might portend?
All right
Drink?
Or won't you be staying?
Ask the fella who made them Xs
if he hires out for portraits
What's Al doing?
Like I fuckin' know
If we was trailing water, we might get took for ducklings
"Come watch the speeches with me "
um
It's written in awkward hand
"Come watch the speeches with me on my veranda."
That's what it says
What in God's name is going on?
And I inquire about more than that hole
These last months have made me expert
It was gunfire, and it came from your saloon
Has not the press a duty, Merrick,
qualifying its accounts in time of war?
Are we at war now
here in the camp?
Has that fact been suppressed as well?
Absent formal declaration, Al,
which affects this community is not my prerogative to disseminate;
to do so is my sacred responsibility
Whores currently disseminating a dose, for example?
To inform within decency's limits
We've had this discussion before
Citizens better die postulating than touch indecent ink
Make a list of the infected whores
and account for this morning's gunfire, and I'll publish it all
I won't,
fucking Merrick,
because neither's to my fucking interests,
just as you owning a print press
proves only you've an interest in the truth,
meaning up to a fucking point
slightly
more than us others
maybe,
but short of a fucking anointing or the shouldering of a sacred burden,
unless of course the print press was gift of an angel
I'd want to be there for that handoff myself
Maybe you should print an extra saying the speeches are on again
Tonight?
What time do you think would be best?
Well, people tried keeping their thoughts to theirselves
Yes, sir?
Will you mind, Charlie,
not being noted tonight from the hustings?
Be a Godsend
Mrs. Ellsworth isn't well
I'm sorry
If,
while
I'm on that
Goddamn platform, you could
station outside her place
Sure I could
Sol's speaking too, you see, or I'd ask him
I'm glad to do it, Bullock
Glad and fuckin' relieved
Doc Cochran seeing to her?
In good hands then
And Mrs. Bullock sees to Sofia
Don't that child thrive now,
with starting into school?
Sweet as before and notably more outgoing
Trixie will come out
from being in helping the Doc
Likely to come out for a smoke
Fuckin' mail, huh?
Uncharted territory, Harry
Coming up on 14 minutes
I don't care. I don't care
whatever you mean
Readied as you were yesterday,
only to have the event deferred,
do you suppose it's nerves
about giving your speech has your bowels in upheaval?
When you was a boy, Rutherford, I bet you was a hand at tying cans to dogs' tails and setting cats ablaze
Or uncertainty when they'll be held?
Overturning turtles
was my specialty
Wake up, Lila
Wake up
Don't you close your eyes again
How do you make it through?
Go on, girl
Get out
Seven times through, Alma
I'm healthy as a fuckin' horse
I trust you not to modify my instructions
To the letter, Doc
All right, begin
You'll be all right
All right
Turn your head away
from the cloth and breathe
Shut the fuck up and concentrate
Turn
your head
away
God damn it!
What I'm use to, this is like smelling fucking posies!
I would just as soon (? assure / assume)
that you not fucking pass out!
When you're done with hers, Doc,
why don't you fucking kiss mine?!
I'll be back in just a moment, Sofia
Round the dough's ends
Mrs. Ellsworth
is being seen to by Dr. Cochran
And
Trixie, I believe, is assisting him
I'll keep care of Sofia while you deliver your speech
And we'll both pray for Mrs. Ellsworth
Go on then
Spend time finding spine to put the bullet in your brain
Calls me the fucking devil
Show me another fucking strategy
Bedridden and liable to fucking slaughter
Deception don't preclude the search
for fucking conviction
When is "when"?
You are a fucking stitch
"About to begin" could mean anything
There's a crowd outside
Are the speeches about to begin?
Is "when" now?
Oh, dear
Oh, brother
What is it?
Only Andy Cramed, you drug-addled turd!
Gentlemen
Yes, sir
Yes, sirree. Reverend!
Excuse me for just a moment! Reverend!
Reverend!
Guess you heard about
the Clergical discount
on wheel and faro both?
Yes, Con?
Andy Cramed
that stabbed you
is outside with Leon, sir
Is he?
Yes, sir
Just come in
Is his blade sheathed?
No brandishin' no
threatenin' gestures of any kind
I'll see him, Con
Reverend Cramed
Or are you an apparition?
It's me, Cy
Ain't that what a spirit would say?
It's Andy Cramed in the flesh
How are you, Cy?
Well, I'd say overall
Though I'll never shit again without pain
I'm sorry
Now you ain't
come to finish me off?
To ask your forgiveness
And decide how to vote
Coming for the speeches was my excuse
As far as stabbing me, Reverend,
you was sorely fuckin' provoked
I denied you'd been called,
treated you like the
shitbag fuckin' operator you used to be
I forgive you, Cy, as I come to beg your forgiveness
The ribbon's
at Matthew 12, Reverend
Could you read
verse 31 for me?
"Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven
except blasphemy against the spirit."
Couldn't Matthew be speaking of me there?
Oh, Christ Al-fuckin'-mighty, I'm so glad to fuckin' see you, Andy, with
with forgiveness in your fuckin' heart
Oh
where is this strength coming from now?
Where
is this strength coming from that I feel
flowing into me,
that lets
me sit up and try to fuckin' touch you, Andy,
if only you'll fuckin' let me?
Fuck me!
Fuckin' Jesus Christ Almighty!
Can you feel
what's fuckin' moving here?
It's moving in the room right now!
If only you'd hold me,
I believe I could walk
Con said now may be when you ask to be told about
Jesus Christ, you're well-arrived
Would you have dope's cross
off your shoulders, son?
I know I'd
like to take less
Then fall to your fuckin' knees
Get to your motherfuckin' knees, Leon,
and ask the Lord
to lift your burden part-way
Hear me!
Lord!
Don't fuck with the fuckin' deity, Leon!
You've got to come to him wholehearted,
even you're asking for partial relief
Oh, Lord!
Let Leon cut down,
Lord,
on the motherfuckin' dujie (?)
Let him cut
way the fuck back
I'll speak to you another time
Oh!
Do you hear how I'm coming at him for you, Leon?
How I fully fuckin' supplicate the motherfucker?
Speeches are near
commensurating, Sir
Now that's a definite
Get the fuck up, Leon
Help Con get me ready
Any argument for us accompanying you over there, Boss
Don't strike the right note
going over there with seconds
Know Goddamn well Hearst
is gonna have his second there,
that
sea-creature-looking cocksucker
Hearst would have it understood the Captain
is just a hefty steward of the household
Yeah, one with a dozen fuckin' pelts on his belt
Even so, Dan,
Hearst's man has pretext for his presence
You and the others don't
What with the olive branch I'll be bearing between my teeth
You mind if we
watch you from the balcony?
Not at all
Moment seems meet,
blow me a kiss
Excuse me
If I could, I'd tear my skin off
If I could, I'd put out my eyes
No no
I hate being sick
Cy knew
what I was
He knew to pick me all those years back
Miss Stubbs,
did you like my friend Bill Hickok?
Oh, I
I just met him the once at the Bella,
that poker with Jack McCall
Did you like Bill that night?
I thought he was a gentleman
He was
I felt he had a good soul
He did, Miss Stubbs
I can say that. I knew him 20 years
You know what else?
Bill that we both liked so well
and most everyone did that knew him,
incliding some he killed
Bill thought as ill of his own self as you seem to do about you
So go on and try explaining people to me
And
same as hearing me say what Bill thought of his self
I don't expect brings you to think any less of him
maybe you,
Miss Stubbs,
oughtn't to stand judge
and jury
and every other job in courth on your own personal case
Maybe,
coming to verdict,
credit
others' opinion of you like you do what you think of Bill
still
So I'm gonna-I'm gonna just do some introductory remarks
I'll call you up on stage
Say what you have to say and that's it
Aw, shit
Mr. Hearst
Do you come to me placated, Mr. Swearengen?
Never more so, not even as a tiny tot
Let's hear the speeches together
Show me your hole in the wall,
which I find a useful advance
De Tocqueville said,
"When an opinion has taken root in a democracy
and established itself in the minds of the majority,
it thereafter persists by itself."
Tonight
let us plant
the seed
of an opinion
to take root
and grow deep,
that gathering to this end
choosing those
who will act in our name
is proper,
so that in years to come,
among those who succeed us in this thoroughfare
this idea will persist
and seem to them self-evident
Candidates for Mayor
E.B. Farnum and Sol Star
The incumbent will address us first
Oh God
I give no long speech tonight
You know me and my works
Your bosom must swell with pride, Mr. Swearengen
Swellings and saggings to the tit I lay at the exactions of time
I mean
you worked to bring this evening about
To labor without pleasure
makes us our destiny's slaves
To work for crumbs or to keep from the lash says maybe a slave's what you are
I'll not question those either who have faith in my rival,
or make faith an issue of any sort
We are long past
the time of the Pharaohs
I cannot decree Mr Star make exodus
Were you whipped, Mr. Swearengen?
And does the lash snap still?
Do you wait for the strike after all these years?
Would the grip
have been the part you were versed with?
I was born to neither power nor money
My father sold goods from a
countryside crossroads hut
A clear choice for Deadwood!
Farnum
twice measured
Star
once cut
E.B. Farnum!
Assayed and proven true!
Farnum!
Christ knows he's earned it!
Mr. Star!
When last we spoke,
you warranted your willingness to
interfere with me
Only to convey that my place should be for my uses
I won't need a miracle
far as parting the creek to take my leave of the camp
I just bought a house and plan to live here
as long as God gives me
And my intention in making my sacrifice to you today
and it seems, my life's great challenge
was to show the virtue of consolidating purposes
Keep people from shitting in the creek!
That
siftings runoff, tailings accumulating
I'd say that's naming horseshit
virtue
Purposes butt up against each other,
and the strong call
"consolidating"
bending the weak to their will
And I'd add
whoever's behind me
is about to study his guts
That's Captain Turner
at three steps' remove
as he has heard about
your knifework close in
No lowered pants in the whitewood!
That's enough about the shit in the creek
Away from your seconds' view, the Captain's pistol is trained at your head
Do you believe yourself enough and adept,
Mr. Swearengen, to overcome your disadvantage
or will you walk with us inside?
Not throwing my hands up or my skirt over my head don't mean I ain't awestruck
Well, they ain't slobbering on each other,
but they ain't snarling neither
Needs to do with the camp, or problems,
you can always find me at the hardware store
Seth Bullock for Sheriff!
I agree with what Mr. Star says
I find I usually do
I'm lucky
we've been partnered these years
Keeps giving me time to catch up
I'm glad he's standing for office,
and I'd try to be as good a Sheriff
as he'd be a Mayor to the camp
Sol's buying a house
I built one
last year
I'm glad
we're in the camp
even on the sorriest of days
Harry Manning for Sheriff
Accepting your premise, Mr. Swearengen,
I'll not name how you would benefit
from the action I wish you to take,
saying only instead it's my will
To which I will have you bend,
I suggest you drink that...
No
I would incorporate into my holdings
the claim now owned by Mrs. Ellsworth
I am told that you can help me bring this about
Tell me how
you will help
This is a grip I'm used to
As far as making your way into her
act averse to nasty language
and partial to fruity tea
But I'd like to get known
far as wanting to help the camp
We need a fire brigade,
and I'd like to lead it
I've always loved fires
since..since I was a boy
If you're wanting to drink, the Number Ten's serving
Oh, also
also,
the graveyard needs moving
That's it
well, thank you all for coming
please think about what you heard here tonight,
and thank you again
Nothing's over yet
Doc'd be dour
at a christening,
but Trixie says he wasn't scowling how he does,
or or shaking his jowls like a bulldog
Thank you, Charlie
All right
Oh God
That's the look he gets on his face when he's hurt
That man appears worse hurt than I am
Bless his heart
What happened?
We watched the speeches together
Yours was especially swell
I need to lean on you,
but don't you fuckin' look up
Should I go up and get him?
Hey, boys!
What'd you think of the speeches, huh?
I'll go get the cocksucker now
Stay the fuck away from him. Hmm?
I'm having mine served cold
First one to touch me I kill