[Kyle] Previously on Kyle XY:
- Will you go to the prom with me? - Yes, l would love to go with you.
Don't wear a tuxedo to a funeral. Wear one to a prom.
Didn't you tell me that going to a prom would be a fate worse than death?
l'm not asking you to go 'cause there's no one else.
l'm asking 'cause you are the only one l want to go with.
There are problems with the prom?
Prom's a nightmare of mix-ups with the decorators and arguments with caterers.
l want prom to be the perfect night, all l can think about
is table rentals and non-refundable deposits.
Enter this in the contest.
Although l'm sure some three-chord trite piece of crap will win.
Brian told me all about Sarah.
He created me from Sarah's genetics after she died.
- My name is Sarah. - She's alive.
She wants to meet me, right?
- Sarah said she'd be here. - She's not coming.
- l'm alone! - You're not alone.
- [Kyle] Her heart has stopped. - [gasps]
lt's OK now. l'm here.
The people in Latnok aren't bad. They're simply scientists
with a very clinical point of view.
[man] He's incredible.
[man 2] More than we dreamed we'd see in our lifetimes.
[screaming on TV]
What are you watching?
''lf you're not back by midnight, you won't be coming home.''
Oh! That's not good.
Why on earth would you watch Prom Night? lt's scary.
- lt's video research for the prom. - You're researching the prom?
- And it led you to Prom Night? - lt had the most straightforward title.
What else did you look at?
44 movies, 2.6 million websites, and 37 young-adult novels.
''Prom is the most romantic moment in a person's life.
The culmination of adolescence and marks the beginning
- of the journey into adulthood.'' - Priscilla's Perfect Prom,
l love that book!
l wasn't always a cynic.
l know how important it is to Amanda. l can't let her down.
l just need the perfect plan.
There's really no formula for perfection.
Let me let you in on a little life secret.
The more you expect, the more you get let down.
Priscilla's prom was a disaster. Her date leaves at the end.
Two chapters later, he's gay.
- Nice pep talk. - Focus on having fun, and you will.
Don't let your expectations get the best of you.
[Kyle] Expectations, To them, the word implied inevitable failure,
Was it wrong to have faith that things could turn out well?
l'm not sure which was more difficult to process,
the news that Sarah's alive
or that you brought Jessi back from the dead.
- Has Sarah tried to contact you? - No. And she won't.
She's put her past behind her, and l've accepted that l need to do the same.
- Your leg is better. - lt's good as new.
- Just in time for me to move on. - Move on?
l wasn't pleased that Latnok was willing to test Jessi like a laboratory rat.
lt made me realize just how out of touch we all are with our own humanity.
l need a break from the Latnok community.
And l asked them to give you a break.
For me? l haven't even met them.
They've been watching you for a while,
waiting for an opportunity to take a larger role in your development.
They've been watching me?
Believe me, l wasn't happy about it either.
But l've made it very clear to them
that you have a whole lifetime to be extraordinary.
Now is the time for you to be ordinary.
So l'd ask you to come along with me,
but l think we both know what your answer would be.
lt doesn't bother you that l wouldn't want to leave the Tragers?
l'll be back one day when it's time for us to resume our training.
ln the meantime, l want you to stay here and enjoy what l never had.
- What's that? - A life.
[Amanda] Sunset backdrop is a no-show, so this gym won't
be transformed into the ocean paradise l want.
[Kyle] We have time...
l know l made a huge deal about the whole magic of prom,
but l'll be happy if it wasn't a huge disaster.
This would be more fun if we were allowed to inhale.
Would you get him out of here?
l don't think l should leave you to deal with this by yourself.
l have 27 perfectly capable people to help me hang lame streamers.
l, for one, am happy to pass the helium torch.
Good. Save your energy for the end of tonight.
Your sugar mama's got big plans for you.
- ls there anything else l can do? - No.
That was a lie.
You've just been busted by the human lie detector. Fess up, little lady.
- OK, if you really want to help. - l really want to.
You can pick up my dress from the cleaners.
- There was... lt's a long story, but... - l'd be happy to.
[Sarah] Don't have to bring everything. We can start fresh.
- l can get you some new clothes. - Why?
Because of the memories of Taylor not being exactly...
A good father?
l'm glad he left.
But l like my clothes. l even like this room.
lt's the first place l've ever been able to call mine.
- This brings back memories. - Good ones?
Good at the time.
Sometimes l wonder if it's worth having good memories.
When things go wrong, you almost resent the happy moments, like they failed you.
That picture reminds me of Kyle and everything we've been through together.
- l hope l never have to resent that. - l hope you never have to.
- Jessi, we should leave Seattle. - Where would we go?
- Somewhere. Anywhere else. - Because of Latnok?
l don't know. Maybe.
Seattle was a cage for me for 20 years, and being back here, l feel trapped.
- Would that be OK with you? - Yeah. Of course.
Andy says she has big plans for me. You know what that means, don't you?
This dress is silver.
You already said that. Not important.
- But lt's supposed to be yellow. - We're talking about me now, dude.
Sorry. What does it mean?
- l need to be ready to round the bases. - Round the bases?
Prom night often results in extra bases.
Considering l slid in to second a few weeks ago,
l'm looking at third base, if not a homer.
You should know l have no idea what you're talking about.
- Sex. l'm talking about sex. - Oh.
Yeah. And l've never... you know.
- Had it. - With another person.
Never mind.
The importance of prom night sex was portrayed
- in 82 percent of the movies l watched. - See?
Since 1 7 percent also ended with young teens being fatally mutilated,
l assumed it was a cinematic convention.
Afraid not, buddy. For much of the adolescent universe,
the whole dance is basically just foreplay.
ls sex part of the perfect prom equation?
Don't you worry about it.
Something tells me sex isn't part of yours and Amanda's G-rated prom fantasy.
- What is it? - Nothing.
Uh, no. No line-dance songs. Come on.
What?
- You know it's inevitable. - Not if l can help it.
- Come on! lt's a prom must-do. - Then l think l must puke.
Are you sure you don't want to just DJ the prom yourself?
Please. Have you seen those geeks that DJ the proms?
[laughs] Hilarious.
Besides, l'm supposed to be having the time of my life.
You mean the lyric you actually neglected to include in your theme song?
lt's been done.
Besides, we both know that there's zero chance of winning that contest tonight
with my reedy voice and the 1 2th-rate acoustic recording.
Wow. You're really not expecting much, are you?
The thing about expectations... You know what? Forget it.
l've already busted out that speech once today.
- So jaded for so young. - Enough with the young already.
- [Nicole] What's all this? - Amanda changed her dress,
so the vest and the corsage l chose don't match unless l dye them.
Can l help? l know this may surprise you,
but l used to be kinda good at arts and crafts.
l stripped silver nitrate off some old rolls of film
and combined it with aluminum potassium sulfate.
l'm having trouble stabilizing polyvalent metal ions
needed to act as a mortar to set the dye pigment.
l once made a house out of Popsicle sticks.
The dye is too dark and won't stick properly to the fabric.
Oh. Well, l'm sure Amanda will understand.
She will understand. That's the problem.
She's already given up hope of having a good prom, but she shouldn't.
l wanna make sure it's everything she wished for.
Don't put too much pressure on yourself.
Sometimes trying too hard to make things perfect can blow up in your face.
[knocking]
Hey.
- How are you? - Alive, thanks to you.
You've made a mess.
l don't know why the formula didn't work.
Let me see what l can do.
What are you looking for?
Adam said Latnok is watching me.
He told them to stop, but l still feel like someone's out there.
l think Latnok is creepy. So does Sarah.
How have things been going with her?
New. Exciting.
A little scary. She wants to leave town.
- Why? - To start over.
Jessi...
No, it's OK. Sarah really wants this.
- Well, what do you want? - l want what you have. A family.
Have you told her you'd rather stay?
- No, l can't do that. - Why not?
Because what if she leaves anyway?
Jessi.
Not everyone who cares about you is going to disappoint you.
All l know is l'm being given a chance to have a real life.
l'm not gonna do anything to mess it up.
You're missing ten milligrams of nickel iodine.
- Good. l need to talk to you. - Now's not the best time, Dad.
lt's never an appropriate time for a man to warn his daughter
not to get involved with his teaching assistant, and yet, here we are.
l'm not getting involved with Mark. ln case you haven't noticed,
l'm in a towel getting ready for prom with Declan.
A much better age-appropriate, all-around good choice, l'm thinking.
My year of strumming sad chords was sponsored by Mr. Declan McDonough.
Not to mention my disappearing reappearing virtue.
- And about that... - Don't worry, Dad. Store's closed.
- What store? - Tragerporium is locked tight.
No weekend sales, no limited time offers.
Security system's armed. Guard dogs are roaming the aisle.
We're encouraging window shopping, wanna keep the public interested.
But tonight will not be about sex.
l thought prom was foreplay for much of the adolescent universe.
- Says who? - Josh.
- Josh? - What's up?
- Not you, that's for sure. - What?
There'll be no sex had by you. Not any of you.
Not tonight, tomorrow, or hopefully in my lifetime.
[doors closing]
Smile.
- What did you do? - ls it that obvious?
Last time you had that look, you realized Josh found your old pot stash.
OK, so which parental sin did you commit?
- The ''don't blow the sex talk'' one. - We already had that talk with Lori.
- l'm not talking about Lori, or Kyle. - Josh?
- Oh, Stephen, he's not ready. - l know.
- You have to talk to him again. - l know.
- Why aren't you moving? - l don't know.
You only have a small window of opportunity to correct this.
- l can't do it. - Yes. Yes, you can.
You can. You are a smart, educated, progressive, thoughtful man,
and an excellent father. Don't psych yourself out.
Just go.
lt looks like all the stains came out.
Thank you for coming over to help out.
How can l pass up my last opportunity to prove that l'm smarter than you?
Very funny.
l'm not, you know, smarter.
l just try harder to impress people. But you already knew that.
You don't have to do that anymore.
You never have to prove yourself to anyone ever again.
lf anything, people should start proving themselves to you.
You really don't want to see me leave, do you?
You're my friend, Jessi.
l don't want to lose you.
[phone rings]
- [Amanda] Hi, - Hi.
l have your dress. lt's not yellow.
l know. Dry cleaners accidentally shredded my original dress,
so l had to make a last-minute switch. At least now l'll match the gym.
- How are things going down there? - Almost done,
Mind dropping the dress off at school?
At the school? Won't you be home soon?
l'm taking some precautions,
in case decorations committee hits a snag and l have to get ready here.
- l'm coming to help you. - Kyle, don't, l'm dirty and a mess,
Even though everything else is a bust,
l don't want you to see me. Send the dress.
- But l... - Promise me you won't come in.
- l promise. - Good.
- lt's still wet. - l'll take care of it.
l should at least take it to her and explain.
Kyle, you need to get ready.
l'll finish the dress, and l'll take it to Amanda. lt'll all be OK.
You want to do something nice for Amanda?
No, but l'd like to do something nice for you.
- [knocking] - Come in.
What's with the shades?
- Whoa! - Yeah.
All the makeup, like, ever, is on your face.
l wanna look ''va va voomy'' for Josh,
but l keep coming up with vampire clown whore.
- Can you help me? - You have two moms.
Doesn't one wear lip-gloss?
My moms think that makeup is an ageist, sexist ploy
to devalue the feminine form in its natural state,
perpetuating unrealistic myths and expectations.
Yeah. Well, maybe it is.
Come here.
- Nice job. - l downloaded an instructional diagram.
Stephen will be disappointed he wasn't able to help.
The ultimate father-son prom ritual. l forgot.
No, no. Don't worry about Stephen. Don't worry about anyone but yourself.
- And Amanda. - And Amanda.
Oh. Beautiful.
l got it from the rose garden where we had our first kiss.
- You thought of everything. - l tried.
Don't forget to stop and smell the roses every so often yourself tonight.
Double-dyeing the corsage eliminated scent...
You mean to focus less on making things perfect
and more on having a good time.
Yes.
Look at you.
When you first came here, everything in the world was new.
Look at all you've learned. Look at all you've overcome.
Tonight's a celebration of that. Just breathe and enjoy it.
l'm sorry you had to say goodbye to Adam.
He's doing what he thinks is best for me.
Still, l know it's hard to say goodbye to family.
Adam created me.
He's my mentor and my friend.
But you are my family.
Your decorations are ugly.
They'll look better once we turn the lights down.
All right. Fine. lt sucks. lt's like Charlie Brown's Christmas tree.
- l don't know what that means. - Ugly. lt means ugly.
Everyone else left, so l don't have time to go home.
l have to get ready here.
l just wanted to make it special for Kyle, but l blew it.
Anyways, thanks for the dress.
[Kyle] Did you deliver the dress?
- Your prom is going to be terrible. - Why?
Well, the decorations are a disaster,
Amanda has to get ready in the locker room.
Why didn't she ask me for help?
- She wanted to make it special for you. - She did?
Maybe if you two stopped working so hard to make it special, you'd enjoy it more.
Maybe there's something l can do to fix it.
- l figured you'd say that. - Which is why you called. Thank you.
This doesn't mean l like her, by the way.
l know.
[Kyle] Thanks to Jessi,
l had an idea of how to make Amanda's night better,
Her expectations may have disappeared, but my desire to surpass them hadn't,
[groans] Could this day get any worse?
Not funny.
l thought you could use some help getting ready.
What?
Did you poison my makeup or put fleas in my dress?
l think you like being mean to me.
That's just a bit of the pot calling the kettle black, isn't it?
- The pot and the kettle are black. - My point exactly.
- After tonight, it doesn't matter. - What's that supposed to mean?
lt means l'm leaving town.
- l'm sorry to hear that. - Why? You hate me.
l know how important you are to Kyle.
And when you care about somebody, you want to put their feelings first.
- So, how's it going? - All set.
[grunts]
You have to scuff the bottom of your shoes before you walk in them.
- Helps give you traction. - l didn't know that.
- l didn't either. Kyle told me. - The prom know-it-all strikes again.
- So, listen... - Please don't.
- l have to. - Could you make it quick and painless?
Quick and painless? Don't use this.
- You don't want me to have safe sex? - No.
l... l mean yes. l do want you to have safe sex,
but, no, l don't want you to have sex at all.
Wait till you know you're ready,
till you and Andy know you're ready. lt'll mean a whole lot more if you do.
But if you decide to ignore everything l say
and make your own life-altering, no-going-back decision to have sex,
forever changing the relationship you have with Andy,
then l want you to be protected.
- Can l go now? - Yes.
Hold up.
You don't want a screwy loop here.
OK.
Good to go.
- Thanks, Dad. - You're welcome.
Hey, handsome. [laughs]
So, how was the talk, part two?
A little like that condom l just gave our son.
Clumsy, awkward, but hopefully effective.
Sure you're OK with missing dinner to help with my plan?
Do you think for one minute Lori
would let us miss an opportunity to help you and Amanda?
We're skipping the pre-prom dinner? Sweet.
- You were paying for that part? - l was, indeed.
What's taking them so long? l've been gorgeous for hours already.
Let's go, people! We have a prom to save!
You are ruining our entrance.
- Lori, you look... - Yeah, yeah. Josh?
What you are about to experience
is a defining moment in your otherwise idiotic life.
Do not mess it up.
- Looking good, Trager. - Not bad yourself, McDonough.
Where's...
...Andy?
[Kyle] All my research had been right,
No matter what anyone said about expectations,
everyone hoped this would be the best night of their lives,
Oh, my God!
[Kyle] l knew that more than helping Amanda,
my night had just become about making sure everyone got their wish,
Ow!
- You did that on purpose. - Maybe.
Wow.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Jessi helped me. - You did?
l didn't want to, but she was really pathetic.
- Thanks. - You're welcome.
Good to know girl-bonding didn't upset nature.
- What time is it? - Relax. We're here early.
Kyle's waiting for you in the gym.
- You've gone soft. - l had a near-death experience.
lt's gonna take me a few days to return to normal.
- Hi. - Hi.
- lt's perfect. - l had a little help.
[? Ben Gidsjoy: Bounce With Me]
Heel, toe, heel, clap, clap. Heel, toe, heel, clap, clap.
l think the problem is my two left feet.
l never noticed. How do you buy shoes?
lt's an expression. But you knew that, didn't you?
- Those jewels aren't real, you know! - Whatever, Hilary.
Don't drink that. Someone spiked the punch.
That's impossible.
lt happens at 68 percent of all proms.
l have to take care of this.
Something's leaking by the DJ. There's water everywhere.
l'm on it.
[? Air Traffic: l Can't Understand]
- Where's Declan? - Hopefully not looking for me.
Where's Andy?
l ditched her on the dance floor. A man needs a break, you know?
Why are you both hiding from your dates?
You want this one?
He's freaking out about whether to have sex with Andy.
- She wants this. l can't blame her. - Ew.
But she's so much more experienced than l am.
- So, yeah, l'm totally freaking out. - Right.
Your turn.
She doesn't know whether or not to get back together with Declan.
Yep.
- Prom is stressful. - True that.
lt doesn't have to be.
Are you kidding? You've been flipping out all week.
l know. But Nicole taught me something.
You're busting out a mom moment right now?
She said that tonight is a celebration of how far we've come,
and we should just let it happen and enjoy it.
l have come a long way.
- From dumb to dumber. - Better than a slut to sluttier.
That's the old me.
Which means l have come a long way.
- That Nicole Trager, she's pretty good. - Yes, she is.
You're not so bad yourself.
Shall we?
OK.
- All right. Tell me the truth. - About what?
We lost the song contest, didn't we?
[? Kid Beyond: Mothership]
- We lost the song contest. - Well, that's just...
- ...fine, actually. - ls it?
Yeah. l didn't write that song for this.
l wrote it because l had something to say about myself and...
- ...everyone here tonight. - No one's heard it except me.
The perils of the undiscovered songwriting duo.
Destined for a lonely life on the road.
With only their college degrees to keep them warm at night.
- PhDs, please. - You have a PhD?
- Not yet. How old do you think l am? - How old are you?
- l'm 1 9. - You're only 1 9?
l was sort of an early bloomer, academically speaking.
And you've been torturing me about being so young. You are unbelievable.
But l'm half of a pretty great songwriting duo.
l don't know about great. You heard the song.
But have you?
Hello, everyone. l hope you're all having a great night.
This song is not the winner of the prom theme contest.
But l thought that everybody should get a chance to hear this song.
lt's written by someone who, in my opinion,
knows a whole lot more about who she is
and really what life's all about than she will ever admit.
So, enjoy it.
[Lori] ? l didn't hear when they said it Time heals a wounded heart
♪ l'm floating and l wonder,,,
This isn't... How...?
l'm a computer genius, remember?
♪ Where things won't fall apart in front of me
♪ Tonight shines a light Now l can see
♪ Everything's right in front of me
♪ Opportunity, take a chance in romance
♪ Let's see what this life can be
- What are you doing up here? - Roof leak.
What about you? l thought you went home hours ago.
- What do they call it? A last hurrah? - A last hurrah?
- You're leaving with Sarah tonight. - Yeah.
- You're not gonna ask her to stay? - Amanda said something to me earlier.
lf you care about someone, you want to put their feelings first.
l want to do that for Sarah.
l understand. l guess l just wish she'd done the same for you.
Thank you for your help tonight.
lt's amazing what we can accomplish when we work together, isn't it?
l'm gonna miss you, Jessi.
No, you're not.
Because no matter where l am, we're always connected.
- That's true. - Even if l am smarter.
- [laughs] Stronger. - Faster.
You, uh...
You better get back in there and make some more memories.
They're kinda hard to come by for people like you and me.
You should come down, too.
A last hurrah.
[thudding]
You've been following me.
- Nice tux. - Why all the secrecy?
l didn't want to distract you.
You're worried about Latnok, aren't you?
- You don't trust them either. - Well, they're scientists.
l don't know if they should be trusted.
Do l have anything to worry about?
You should always worry.
Not tonight.
Tonight is about Amanda. We'll be fine.
OK. l'll go.
But, Foss.
Thanks for looking out for me.
- God, l love a man in a tux. - Me, too.
l mean, l like being the man you love in a tux.
So we've had our pictures taken.
We've danced. We've eaten weird French hors d'oeuvrey things.
We've covered every prom cliché in the book, and now l think
we should move onto our end of the night festivities.
OK...
Let me begin by saying you're the hottest girl l know,
and l fantasize about having sex with you all the time.
And l really wanted to have sex with you tonight.
But then my dad comes up to me
and didn't make sense about what he was trying to say
and wanted to give me a condom, and it all became real.
And anyway, l just don't think we should.
You think l wanted to give it up to you tonight?
Didn't you?
Losing my virginity on prom night is the most cliché of all things cliché.
What kind of sentimental loser do you think l am?
- Wait. You're a virgin? - Why wouldn't l be?
So what did you mean then, if not sex?
Triple chocolate sundaes
and me kicking your ass yet again in G-Force Extreme.
Really?
Really.
[? Red Letter Agent: Thin Colored Wall]
There you are. l'm finally done putting out fires.
- l assume there were no actual fires. - No, no fires.
- A flood or two. - l guess there was more than one leak.
The cleaning crew will get it. l think it's time for a dance.
l think that sounds great.
Have a great night, everyone. The prom as we know it has ended.
- lt's over. - lt doesn't have to be.
[music ends]
May l have this dance?
[indistinct chatter]
Gotta go, pumpkins. l got a tiara to stalk.
- Good night. - Later, Hils.
So what's next on our Hilary-approved itinerary?
How'd you know?
'Cause she had that glint of a job well done in her eyes.
l didn't want to mess anything up.
How could you think you could mess it up?
l feel like that's all l've ever done since the first time we got together.
l couldn't even break up with you properly.
- We're so past that. - Look.
l know l said l'd be more open and all that, so let me do this.
Right. Sorry. Continue with your openness.
l really like you, Lori.
l always have.
l don't know where you stand with me or with what we're supposed to be,
but l want you to know that it's in your hands.
lt's in my hands? Why?
'Cause l heard your song tonight. Really heard it.
The girl who wrote it has got her whole future in front of her.
l don't wanna be the one that holds her back.
You know what's amazing is you really know me, and you get me.
l care about you so much.
[sobbing] But you're right. l don't wanna move backwards.
Or even stay in the same place.
So l think that means that we shouldn't be together.
ls that OK?
l remember it's part of the whole ''it's in your hands'' thing.
- Do you mean it? - Trager, you're one of my best friends.
All l want is for you to be happy.
- l don't know if l deserve that. - Trust me, you do.
[? Graham Colton: Best Days]
- You did that, didn't you? - Maybe.
- So, how do you do it all? - Do what?
Everything l've seen you do.
My brain is more developed than other people's.
So it allows me to do special things.
Kinda like Superman, only real?
- Can you fly? - l'm not gonna tell you that
until you tell me something l don't know about you.
- Not this again. - lt's only fair.
You may not know that...
..l love you.
You do?
l do.
l love you, too.
Here, don't get your feet wet.
[Kyle] There's a reason why people say we shouldn't expect too much,
No one wants to see someone they care about end up disappointed,
We instinctively act to protect our own from being hurt
and do what we can to make the right choices for the people we love,
But the reason we have expectations in the first place
is because we want to aim as high as we can,
Because when you love someone,
there's no limit to what you can accomplish,
l left my other clothes inside.
- l'll get them. - No, l will.
- No, let me help you. - Again.
Always.
- Got everything you need? - l do now.