Half a million pounds. 50 grand up front and the rest on delivery.
Could you get me the Stone of Destiny, Mr McIver?
The Stone of Destiny, Hamish?
The coronation stone of the ancient Scottish kings.
So you'll keep the secret, then?
What do you think?
- We don't need that. - Oh, yes, we do.
If you know where the Stone is, why have you come here?
Didn't you know, brother?
Then take a guess, brother.
Take a guess.
- Has John been in today? - No sign of him, Hamish.
He's probably taken himself up the hills again.
I heard of an Indian tribe
that when they get the notion they're about to croak,
they just take themselves off into the wilderness and wait for it to happen.
- Just ignore him, Hamish. - Ignore who?
If John's taken himself to the hills, it's for peace and quiet.
Just like it always is.
Agnes is right. It could even be he just felt like a night in.
- Hamish... - Mind serving yourself, doc?
This game is very delicately poised.
There's a hypnotist loose in Lochdubh.
Sure, doc, I think you need a rest.
I'm absolutely compos mentis, Hamish. The major. Rory Campbell.
Isobel. And now Lachlan. All found in a trance-like state.
How would one know that Lachlan was in a trance?
- That is the question. - Stop it.
(Hamish) I thought it was a virus.
And I thought it was mass hysteria.
It also occurred to me that it could've been externally produced.
That maybe someone put those people into a trance.
I read an article on the possible uses of hypnosis for controlling pain.
So I dug it out. And there it is. Comments on the mesmeric prowess
of a particular stage hypnotist called Ava Grimm.
That's the woman with Kenneth McIver.
It's her, Hamish. But why is she doing it?
If she's doing it, then maybe John can tell us why.
You coming?
Yes.
That's her, all right.
I'd know that babe anywhere.
So if the doc's right, then why you four in particular?
I'm sure I don't know.
No? Four people with a shared knowledge of the Stone of Destiny,
a knowledge that Kenneth McIver has envied all his life.
How do you know all this?
John told me.
Then he must really believe he's going to die.
John? John McIver?
- (Squelch) - Oh! (Exclaims in Gaelic)
- See if he's in. - John!
(Knocking)
John, are you there?
- He's not there? - No.
Maybe he has taken to the hills.
Come on.
We can complain about being hypnotised without your consent.
- Is that a crime? - I don't know.
It's a good excuse to go there.
(Knocking)
Mr McIver!
Kenneth McIver!
- What are you doing? - Horse.
What are you doing?
I'm gonna take a look around inside.
Maybe it's not locked.
- The lights are off. - Just try it.
- There's nobody here. - Try it.
Why would anybody go away and leave the door...
open?
It's always best to check these things, Hamish.
Hamish, it's verse. A line of verse.
"When the winter steps can be clumb..."
- Now what? - This is mine!
"Look in the place where the curtain roars."
- That's my line, Hamish, it's mine! - Yeah.
Take it easy. See what else you can find.
These are faxes. From a Misty Glen.
That has to be a boat, right?
- What are we gonna do about it? - They have come for the Stone.
No doubt about it.
How can you be so matter-of-fact? We don't even know where they are.
Yeah, but we know where they're going.
Oh, you lovely thing!
You great, big, beautiful meal ticket.
- You can't do this, Kenneth. You can't. - Well, I know that.
Not with my prosthetic.
That's why you are going to give me a hand.
(Laughs)
We should've known. We should have known.
I tell you, if I get a grip of Kenneth McIver,
you'll be lifting me for murder, Hamish.
If I get to him first, you'll be lifting me.
Can anyone smell horse shit in here?
- Oh, it's me. - And me.
What have you two been eating?
Right... Now...
- Say again, Hamish.
- Rubha na Fearna. - Eh?
- Rubha na Fearna? - Hmm.
Then we have a problem.
That's a promontory with at least three landing sites.
- They could use any one of them. - We'll have to cover them all.
- We don't have the time. - How are they getting there?
A road goes part of the way and then nothing...
- Horse shit. - I beg your pardon?
I talked to Dougal Finlay at the cash-and-carry.
He told me that Kenneth McIver had hired out all four of his horses.
Horse shit...
There was horse shit outside TV John's caravan.
He's got John. You're saying he's got John?
And maybe a gun from the lodge.
He can't hate John so much that he'd...
- (Sighs) His own brother... - Now, listen to me, Hamish.
You make this official, the authorities will take that stone back out of Scotland.
Lachlan, this is John we're talking about.
- (Major) Listen to him, Hamish. - If we lose that stone,
John McIver will be dead within one calendar month of it going.
He'll die of shame. And I'm not speaking figuratively.
And I will be right at his back.
He could've killed John at the caravan, Hamish. Why didn't he?
If we lose that stone, we will lose John McIver.
If I thought for one minute, they'd return it to Scotland,
I'd say, go ahead, contact them now.
John said they'd never give it back.
And John would know, Hamish.
With his psychic powers.
OK, Major, you take the others as far as you can by road.
Then head off on foot for the coast.
When you get there, I want you to move south from here.
I'll move north from this point. That way, we cover all the landing sites.
How will you get there?
Travel light, nonstop. Head up over the high pass.
Alone? The weather can change in the blink of an eye.
I'll go with Hamish.
- (Hamish) Nonstop? - Mm. If you can do it, I can do it.
OK.
Oh, and one more thing.
I'll be taking the boy.
It's time he knew.
(♪ Bagpipe)
(♪ Laughter)
Tonight.
Tonight I'll have it.
The Lia Fáil.
The Stone of Destiny on this very boat.
You sure about this?
My grandfather helped bring the Stone back here.
I've got more reason than you to be going up there.
Right.
(Speaks Gaelic)
Not only have I filched yon relic from under their nose,
but that hunk of stone is going to make me rich.
Astronomically rich. What do you say to that, brother?
That it's a shame, Kenneth.
Crivens help my bones, it's a shame.
I'll remember to feel ashamed when I'm lolling on some tropical beach
and pouring fine liquor down my neck.
I meant that it was a shame
that you are prepared to betray our father's memory, Kenneth.
I spit on his memory. And on our mother's.
(Spits)
Think I've forgotten what it was like? "Fine, Kenneth.
"You did all right, but you can't see into the future like your big brother."
- They never said that! - It was the bloody subtext, all right.
They preferred a half-witted freak to... to... a Renaissance man!
They both died with your name on their lips, Kenneth, not mine.
- They loved you. - Liar! They hated me!
That whole village hated me.
Ha! See if I care now!
Do you think we might have some tea?
In a while, Miss Grimm.
- (Yells) - What is it?
Something bit me.
Something... bit me.
It was an adder.
You must've stood right on it for it to strike.
There never have been adders up here before.
No, but then you've never been up here, have you?
Are you saying I'm a Jonah? I'm not a Jonah. I'm not.
- What are you doing? - I'm going to bleed her.
- Bleed some of the poison out. - Will it work?
I don't know, but I can't think of anything else, can you?
As soon as she's bled enough, bandage her up and let's get moving.
(Yelps)
John?
John!
Oh... You're still here?
Of course I'm still here, man.
We'd better press on or we'll be hours late.
- She can't be moved yet. - Then we'll leave her.
With supplies... We'll come back for her.
Well, I'm not leaving. You go on if you want...
I want you there when I get my money.
I want you to see it. Now, on your feet!
If you intend using that thing, get on with it, because I am not moving.
We'll camp here for the night.
How are you feeling?
I'm... not sure.
Just keep still.
Perfectly still.
Still...
Yes.
I'll get you that tea.
Damn!
- What is it? - It's the nickey-nackey.
- It's clapped out. - The nickey-nackey? You sure?
- For God's sake. - What the hell's a nickey-nackey?
Is it some modification you carried out on the engine?
No, Major. You see, when I first taught the boy here about engines,
he was no more than seven years old.
He had problems with terminology. We made up names for things.
Aye, there was the scurley-bee and the grimmle-dunnit.
And the nickey-nackey.
You never learned the proper name of things?
Of course I have, Rory Campbell.
It's just when I talk to my daddy about it, I regress, that's all.
And you're going to tell us what it is, this... nickey-nackey?
It's...
- It's... - It's the carburettor, Rory.
It's packed in. Which means we're damn well finished.
Aah!
Damn well finished!
- What's going on here? - He didn't tell you?
- He said he'd explain on the way. - So he shall.
Lachlan!
We'll set out on foot from here.
- We'll miss them by hours, Major. - As we walk, we can pray.
Pray they're held up. Anything! But we will not give in.
Lachlan! It is not over until the fat gentleman sings.
That's lady, Major. The fat lady.
Lady...
Right. Come on. Let's take what we need from the truck.
Come on, boy.
Is it me, or does anyone else feel a bit chilly?
No, I can feel it too, Rory. The cold air coming down from the high pass.
I'd say this is the point of no return.
Yeah.
- I'm freezing, Isobel. - So am I.
Am I going to die?
I don't know. Just try to remember I'll be here to do whatever I can.
I didn't bring any matches.
Isobel, I didn't bring any matches.
- Don't panic, Hamish. - Panic?
I'm nae panicking, I'm shit scared. There's a difference.
Mr McIver! Mr McIver!
Look!
Who are they? Do you know who they are?
I know who they are.
What do they want?
They want you, Kenneth.
(Mutters)
(Groans)
Is it true, what you said?
They died with my name on their lips, Mother and Father?
- Yes, it's true. - Cursing me, no doubt.
No, not cursing you.
Kenneth, if they made a fuss of me,
it was because they knew that I wasn't as clever as you.
It was to reassure me, not to hurt you.
No, they preferred psychic froth to cool intellect.
If that had been the case, you would've been the apple of their eye.
What do you mean?
I believe you are much more gifted than I am, Kenneth.
Me?
These... accidents that happen round about you,
I believe they're generated psychically.
You have a great gift, but you've turned your back on it.
Suppressed it somehow.
What should be positive comes out negative.
You're saying I'm a bloody freak like you? Freakier!
I know what you're up to.
You think these revelations will make me give up the Stone?
- Och! - You're wasting your time, brother!
Shh!
What is it?
Is she dead?
No.
Her fever's broken.
Why didn't you let us get together?
Huh?
- Isobel? - (Whimpers)
When Alex came back to the village...
why did you live with her?
I'd asked her to come back, it seemed the right thing to do.
Yeah.
But it wasn't what you wanted to do, was it?
- No. - No...
And when you told her about us...
you think that led to her death.
Yeah.
No...
It was partly to blame.
If she'd been thinking straight,
maybe things would have been different, maybe she wouldn't...
have died, I don't know.
Hamish.
You wanted us to be together.
I had to ask myself why.
Why? Did you want it for our sake or did you just think
that us being together would've made Alex's death less futile?
You know, that us getting together would've been... the right thing.
I can't believe you're saying this.
I just wanted us to be together. That is it.
How can you think those things? How can you say what you're saying?
Because you've never once told me that you loved me, Hamish.
You know?
Not one time.
I've never said it.
Not to you, Alex, not to anybody.
I always figured a person should know without being told.
But I'll say it now if that's what you want.
I love you, Isobel.
I love you more than any person I've ever known.
Oh, God, wasted time!
The wasted time we could've been at it.
- We could've been at it. - Like hammer and tong.
- Aye. - Like knives.
Oh, God, Isobel, when I think how much I wanted you...
When we could've been...
Maybe... maybe it's not too late.
Maybe... maybe even as a way of keeping warm, we could...
- What? - You know, we could...
Oh, God!
Please don't say yes now. Please don't.
No, I just thought it might help keep us warm.
Isobel...
Oh, Isobel...
There are certain things a man just cannot do in weather like this.
Oh...
Oh, God...
- Better? - Yes.
Thank you. You saved my life.
No.
I remember it, what you said.
That helped.
Well, if it helped, I'm glad I said it.
To tell the truth, I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Oh!
What are you two talking about?
Why didn't you leave me behind?
It's just the two of you.
You might've been able to take the Stone from your brother.
My father and his friends brought that stone here.
And because they did, I like to think I would give my life to keep it here.
That's it. I've had enough.
You, over here.
But I could never risk anybody else's life for it.
Over here!
Now, you rest for what remains of the night.
Brother Kenneth wants you in the saddle in the morning.
Coronation stone of the old Scottish kings, boy.
Those men took that stone back
and now that scumbag Kenneth McIver is making off with it.
It belongs here, Junior, nowhere else but here in Scotland.
What kind of lowlife would steal the Stone of Destiny back from us?
- I never liked him, anyway. - Nor me.
Remember at school, he was first at everything?
I remember.
When we were on Sunbeam book one, he was away up at book five.
- It was sickening. - Sickening.
Don't forget multiplication tables.
When we were at two-times, he was up at six-times.
I remember.
Then there was the decimal points.
- What about the decimal points? - The bane of my young life, son.
That decimal point floated in front of my eyes for hours on end
before it finally came to rest.
In the wrong damn place!
- Maybe we should push on. - Aye.
Whereas Kenneth McIver would just dab away at his bit of paper
with a wee, irritating flourish.
Bip-bip-bip.
And damn me if he didn't guess right every single time.
Aye, Rory's right. We should make a move.
I don't quite follow.
What was it Kenneth used to guess right every time?
Where the decimal point would go, boy.
But, Daddy, you don't guess where it goes.
No, no, no. You see, it's all guesswork.
No, there's no working out involved, you see?
- Who told you that? - Rory and the Major there.
See, I was off with the mumps when we moved onto the decimals.
The boys here were assigned to bring me up to scratch.
That's friends for you, Lachie Junior.
Er... Press on at the double.
At the double.
Ah! Hamish!
- What's happening? - Jack Frost was nipping at your toes.
But I found you in time.
I'm very grateful.
- Who are you? - Herman.
My name is Herman.
I'm Hamish.
- But you already knew that. - (Laughs)
Oh...
I hope I wasn't being presumptuous.
But I thought the exchange of body heat might hasten revival.
You and me were exchanging body heat?
No! Oh, no!
I mean, with Isobel.
That is her name, isn't it?
Isobel?
(Isobel) Hamish...
Hamish...
- Who's he? - This is Herman.
He already knows who you are.
He saved us, Isobel.
Shouldn't we be on our way?
Oh, no! No, not yet.
No, the weather is abating,
but it will be another hour at least
before you can travel any great distance.
Thanks, Herman.
- So, what is this place? - It's just a cave.
I came up here, oh, a long time ago.
- For the air. - For the air?
Yes, I could see what was coming down below.
Pollution, nauseous gases,
which would form a permanent lime-green smog.
So, I sold up all my assets
and came up here.
And I mean, what point was there in all this wealth
in such a spoiled world?
Is it really bad down there?
- It's really bad. - There's something I must do.
I'll be back in about an hour.
Meanwhile, you can rest.
We can't wait an hour, Hamish.
We have to catch up with the Stone.
I don't know, Isobel, I think...
I think our luck's about to change.
I think you've spent too much time with John McIver.
OK.
If everything is going to be well with the world...
what are we going to do until the storm abates?
It's not good enough.
Just not good enough.
50 grand up front and where are they?
Where's my Stone?
Hmm?
Take a turn to the south, Captain.
Check out the other beach.
Will you two get a move on? We've wasted enough time already.
Are you sure? This is Black Rock Bay?
Yes, that's it.
See? Not a sign of them.
They've gone or they've landed elsewhere.
Come on, men, south!
Hamish, there's nothing here.
We should go on.
Where's the boat? Where's the boat?
We're late, but they should have waited.
Would McFarquar give up and leave?
Not without me. And not without the Stone.
He'll be here.
Hold up, men!
(Gasping)
By God, Fortune has smiled on us this good day.
It's the Misty Glen.
After that thieving, one-armed, one-legged...
♪ My ship is coming in
Do you see it, brother?
I see it clearly now.
And all for a lump of rock.
Are you a strong swimmer, Miss Grimm?
Very.
Kenneth, you mustn't go into that boat.
If you do, you will die out there.
We are both getting into it. I want you to see my triumph.
At last...
we have it.
If the Fates go right, where'er the Stone is found,
the Scotch shall monarchs of that realm be crown'd.
Mr McFarquar, look!
(Shouting)
Prepare to weigh anchor.
Look!
Too late!
In.
Kenneth, you'll die.
If you don't get in, brother, some of those friends of yours might die.
- Now, get in. - (Hamish) John! Don't do it!
- John! - Hurry, Hamish!
John! John!
John McIver, wait for us!
- (Gasps) - (Isobel) John!
(Kenneth shouting in Gaelic)
We've lost it. We've lost the Stone of Destiny.
Damn you, Kenneth McIver!
- Damn you to hell! - Miss Grimm!
Miss Grimm, the boat, I can't control it.
- Miss Grimm. - John.
- Help me! - Misty Glen, we have no steerage.
We have no steerage. Get out of the way!
Get over the edge. Just...
Look!
You're doing this. Stop it at once.
It's not me, Kenneth, it's you. I told you.
If we go up, the Stone goes up with us, John.
Miss Grimm and I switched the Stone last night.
That's just a lump of rock, like you said.
Switched? But why... why didn't you just make off with it?
Because you're my brother, Kenneth, and I love you.
I've always loved you.
And I hoped we could be reconciled before the end.
You said I was going to die out here. You knew.
- Yes. - And yet you still came.
(McFarquar) For God's sake!
Look, John, we're saved. The boat, it's moving.
- I'm afraid not. - What?
It's not the boat, Kenneth. It's what's behind it.
(Kenneth gasps)
John, I'm frightened.
Pomade...
Gone... gone...
John!
It's Kenneth's leg.
(Mrs Grimm) Hello?
Hello?
Who is Hamish Macbeth?
There we are.
From here on in, this will be known as the TV John McIver Corner.
That's a fine gesture.
It's no more than he deserves.
God... I miss him.
Don't upset yourself, Agnes.
I wouldn't be surprised if TV John McIver
dropped in for the occasional pint.
A man with his psychic gifts,
I'm sure he'll make the odd journey over from the other side.
He just might, you know.
The man's powers of prophecy bordered on the miraculous.
- They were... - "Unerring" is the word.
TV John.
We interrupt this programme to bring you news just in.
700 years after it was stolen from Scotland,
the Stone of Destiny is to be given back.
The Prime Minister told the Commons today that the Stone,
a powerful symbol of Scottish nationhood,
would be removed from Westminster Abbey
and returned to Scotland
when a suitable resting place has been decided upon.
More on this as news comes in.
Viva Scotia. Yes!
Where's everybody gone?
To plan a break-in, Agnes.
Where are you going?
Maybe we should hold onto it, in case the authorities change their minds.
If they change their minds, boy, we'll just take it right back again.
- Have you come with a plan, Major? - I have.
Our fathers dug down to remove this stone.
So, we'll dig up to put it back.
- How? - The sewers.
- Eh? - The sewers of London, Lachie Junior.
We'll go down in Pimlico,
find our way to under the Abbey,
and then... dig up!
Is that the plan the product of a fine military mind, or what?
That's a fine plan.
Now, if you'd be so good as to do us the honour of starting.
Gentlemen.
Let us start.
Viva Scotia.
- Viva. - (Straining)
You said they'd never give it back, John.
John!
- Where did you get the beard? - John McIver is my son, Mr Macbeth.
He's not yet mastered the art of manifestation,
though when he does, I'm sure he'll pester the life out of you.
(Clicks fingers, gas lights)
He's asked me to pass on some messages.
- What messages? - Well, firstly,
apologies to everyone for getting it wrong
about the authorities handing back the Stone.
He puts it down to a temporary psychic block.
Secondly, to Lachie McRae.
Tell him that John has spoken to his wife, Mari,
and she's delighted to know that he still loves her
and that the boy turned out well.
The third message is for you, Mr Macbeth.
John says you've to stock up well with Pampers.
Pampers?
Yes, it's apparently some sort of modern-day nappy.
John says you and Isobel are going to need thousands of them.
No, we agreed no kids.
What?
Oh, well, John says you should've thought of that up in yon snow cave.
(Giggles)
It's gonna be awful quiet around here without John.
Yeah.
What are we gonna do to pass the time?
- Oh, we'll think of something. - Will we?
Hmm.
If you go with them, I'll go with them.
Come on.