Katie and I finally got to take the SATs.
And once we were done,
it was time to celebrate with some post-SAT P-I-E.
And then, on question 32 of the math section,
I put down C,
and then I realized that the answer was A.
Well, I just realized, who cares? We're done with the SAT,
- so, stop thinking, and start pie-ing. - Yer!
Hey, girls. Jack, come down here!
Ooh, from the looks of it, the test must have gone well.
- Mm, great. - Mm, pie.
I'm so proud of you.
So...
I have some news.
Are we getting a kitten?
No. So, you know how I've been dating Joe?
Oh, is he getting a kitten?
- Aw, I love kittens. - Nobody's getting a kitten.
It's been six months since I've been dating Joe...
and I was thinking that it's time for him to meet you guys.
Oh.
I mean, officially meet you. Jack met him once,
but then he was my handyman, and now he's...
my boyfriend.
Ew.
No, it's not "ew."
I know you've never met anyone I've dated before,
but...
things are getting kind of serious,
so Joe is coming for dinner tonight.
And it's totally no big deal,
but it's super important that you all think each other is great.
But, again, no big deal, totally casual, but we should all dress up.
- I'm confused. - Wear your picture-day shirt.
Picture-day shirt twice in one year? Are you serious?
Oh.
Wait, that's why you were mopping under the fridge this morning?
I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.
I didn't want to distract you from your SATs,
but now that you're done,
I'm really excited for you to meet Joe.
I'm excited to meet him too.
Fantastic.
And your family's coming, too, so everyone can meet Joe.
I'm cooking dinner.
You're cooking dinner?
Yes, I can cook.
I just don't normally have the time, or the desire,
or the ingredients.
Wow.
New pillows. They're so cute.
Yeah, aren't they great? They weren't even on sale.
- Who am I? - Oh.
Well, I love them, and I am so excited for tonight!
They're awful, I hate them, and I am not excited for tonight.
Do you wanna talk about it?
- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --
Oh, things are moving so fast.
You think so?
She's been dating Joe for six months.
Yeah, but then he was just
"I'm meeting with Joe,"
and "I just got back from dinner with Joe."
And, you know, that felt like the right level of Joe.
But now, I have to actually meet him.
Oh, he's gonna be in my house.
You know, it's like the floodgates are open,
and the house is flooded with Joe.
Katie, it's just dinner.
Sure, but what happens next?
Dessert.
Alexa, I'm serious. And look at how my mom's acting.
'Cause she is not a new-pillow person. She is an old-pillow person.
Yeah, maybe don't call her that to her face.
All right, I hear what you're saying,
but for tonight, it's just dinner.
It's not like he's moving in,
or dropping you off at school,
or sitting front row at your next play.
Oh, he better not.
And if your mom's acting weird,
I think it's because she wants everything to go well.
So... maybe give him a chance?
Your mom seems really happy.
I know.
You know, whenever she talks about him,
she gets her new-coupon smile.
You know what? You're right. It's just for tonight.
Yeah. I am going to give Joe a chance.
- Good. - Yes.
Oh, it feels right when you're the nice one.
Mm.
Okay, I'll see you at dinner.
Yeah, I'll be the one giving Joe a chance.
Ah.
How fun is this!
We officially are meeting Joe tonight.
Haven't you guys met him already?
That's when he was handyman Joe.
I was holding back.
Yeah. And now that he's boyfriend Joe,
that means double dates are finally on the table.
He could be your Jennifer.
Nah, don't be silly. I totally thought of that!
I'm so happy for us.
I mean, for her.
I hope he likes us.
Ah, he will. We just have to be ourselves. No.
Our best selves.
Uh-oh.
That never goes well.
- We got this. - Yeah.
Ah, and before you know it,
the four of us are gonna be playing doubles tennis.
And charades. Without Jack.
Okay, you guys are acting a little crazy.
Jack is great at charades.
Make sure to put out two forks.
One for the salad and one for the meal.
It seems like a waste.
It is. But I want Joe to see how we live,
only fancier.
Perfect. Nope.
Yeah.
Wow. Everything looks great.
You know, I hope Joe's wearing socks,
'cause they're gonna get knocked off his feet.
- Aw. Thanks, honey. - Yeah.
Oh, hey, will you bring these over to the coffee table?
- They're Joe's favorite. - Oh, nice.
Oh, that changed. Love it.
Yeah, I moved it. It just didn't quite look right.
Didn't look right six times.
Yeah. I just want everything to be perfect.
I mean, not that it has to be perfect.
You guys are gonna love Joe, and he's gonna love you.
Whatever. We're chilling.
We did get a kitten!
No, Joe changes my ringtone when I'm not looking.
He's so funny.
- That is so funny. - So funny.
He's almost here.
Um, I'm gonna be right back.
Okay, yeah. Great, great. Yeah.
I wonder where Joe's gonna sit.
How often he's gonna sit there.
What if he uses my favorite glass?
Or hogs the remote...
while he's using my favorite glass?
Oh, okay. Okay, Jack...
You know what? Let's just give him a chance.
I gotta hide my favorite glass.
Look, it's just tonight.
Okay? It's not like everything's changing.
I just... I thought it looked better over there, so...
Oh, you're right.
I just hope nobody trips over it.
- Joe's here! - Oh.
- Hi, Joe. - Hi.
Kids, this is Joe.
Isn't he great?
Joe, these are my kids. Aren't they great?
Whatever.
You decide for yourselves, everybody.
I've already decided. I think they're great.
Hey, you got glasses. Cool.
Thanks.
Jack.
Look, I don't care. I don't like Joe,
and nothing's going to change... Is that chocolate?
Yeah, I'm making chocolate lava cakes.
Uh, welcome to our house, Joe.
Can I help?
Absolutely. Why don't you start
by taking this into the kitchen for me?
It's so great to finally meet you.
Hey, you too, Joe.
This is nice.
You're cute when you're nervous.
You're cute when...
you are noticing that I am cute.
Wow, this is uncomfy,
so I'm just, uh... I'm just gonna go help Jack. Okay.
All right. Hey. Oh, wow, Joe!
Ah, you're, uh, two minutes early.
We're, uh, early people too.
This is great.
- We can all be early for stuff together. - Yeah.
Then we'll just be on time.
You remember Lori and Dave.
Ah, of course he does.
I mean, I'm basically responsible for you two being a couple.
How can I forget?
Gazebo and faucet destroyer.
Aah!
That's funny.
You might wanna check on Jack
and make sure he doesn't eat all the lava.
What are you doing?
- Getting to know Joe. - Yeah. Making sure he loves us.
This is important.
- He could be my Jennifer. - Yeah.
Uh, hey, Jen, there's stuff in the oven. When can I put my cakes in?
Use our joven, oh.
Or, uh... "Use our oven, Joe."
Pace yourselves.
Ah, it smells so good in here.
So good.
Where did you order from?
Nowhere. I cooked everything.
But it smells so good.
I was surprised too.
- Hi. - Hey.
So, how's it going with Joe?
I'm trying, but I don't... know.
Do you like him? Do you hate him? Is he weird? You know what?
Make the face of the emoji that describes your feelings about Joe.
Uh... Oh, uh...
But you know what? It's just dinner, right?
Joe. This is Alexa.
Ah, hey.
- Hi. - Uh...
Katie was just telling me
how much she's enjoying getting to know you.
Oh, and I didn't even tell Katie
how Joe used to build sets in drama club when he was in high school.
- Really? - How fun.
Yeah, except when we did Romeo and Juliet,
I built the balcony that Juliet was standing on, and it, uh...
... it wobbled the whole time.
Yes.
Oh, and, Joe, I didn't tell you
that Katie just got the lead in Taming of the Shrew.
- That's great. - Thanks. Yeah.
Katie, you should get Joe a ticket when we all go see the show.
What?
How fun.
Uh, well, I should get the cakes in the oven.
Alexa, I need to talk to you upstairs. Now.
Oh. You're okay. Oh.
Oh, and the best part...
is the ice cream on top.
I forgot the ice cream!
And the best part... is eating it plain.
Uh...
Since you're a handyman, can you fix something for me?
Sure.
Uh, the other day when Lucas was watching me,
he fell asleep on the couch,
so I decided to slide down the banister,
and...
this happened.
Ah.
I stuck it back on with a bunch of gum.
Mm-hm.
Bubblicious. It's what all the contractors use.
This is no time for jokes, Joe.
I'll go get my toolbox.
And in the meantime, don't do that.
I told you the floodgates would open.
And now Joe is flooding my play.
We are knee-deep in Joe.
Don't react too fast.
You're still getting to know him.
Oh, I know him. Okay, he goes into strangers' houses,
he fixes their things, and then he dates their moms.
Ugh.
I think you're going a little overboard.
What do we really know about him?
Okay, all I know
is that his name is Joe Perry,
and if my mom marries him,
my name will be...
Katie Perry.
I mean...
You know that's not how it works, right?
Oh, okay. So, he volunteers,
he takes lots of pictures of his dog,
and he runs 10Ks.
Aw, see? For Halloween, he dressed his dog as a panda.
Wait... Exactly. I mean, we can't even tell who his dog is. I mean...
Hey, don't be silly.
- Uh-oh. - What? What?
What is it?
It's a Yelp review for Joe's handyman business.
It's from a woman who owns a video store.
Whoa, it says that...
Joe robbed her.
Wow, that's great! Oh, my God!
I mean, that's terrible.
Oh.
But now I can prove what a terrible guy Joe is
and stop him before he totally floods my life
and changes everything.
Okay, we are going to the video store
- to get to the bottom of this. - Yes.
- Uh, what's a video store? - I have no idea.
There. Good as new.
And no one will ever know.
No, you should tell the truth. It's the right thing to do.
Sorry, I'm that guy.
If I knew you were that guy, I wouldn't have asked you to help.
Look, I know it's not easy,
but you don't want to be the person that keeps secrets from your mom.
No, I do!
Fine, I'll tell the truth.
In my picture-day shirt.
Mom? I have something to tell you.
You got this.
I... I...
Joe forgot to bring the ice cream.
Oh, perfect, we'll go get ice cream.
But... we're gonna eat soon.
Oh, well, I mean, Joe went through so much trouble.
We want to make sure everything's perfect.
Yeah, what she said. We'll be right back. Bye.
Hey, Joe.
- Best self. - Double dates, here we come.
Hey.
Ahh.
So... how do you feel about game nights?
What are you? A Monopoly man?
A Boggle boy?
Twister mister?
- Um... - Or we can come up with a new game.
- Ooh, how fun is that! - Lori!
- I could use your help in the kitchen. - Oh. Okay.
Be right back.
Hey!
I think you guys are trying a little too hard with Joe.
Oh. I think we're trying just the right amount.
You like foreign films?
Yeah, well, we do.
But I have to wear glasses if there's subtitles,
so, uh, I'll need advance notice if that's what we're doing.
Dinner's ready. Let's eat, uh-huh?
- Yeah. - Hey.
Jennifer says we're coming on too strong.
Way too strong.
Maybe we dial it back a notch.
- So, play it cool. - Just be ourselves.
- This is nice. - Really nice.
Um, could you pass the butter, please?
Be cool.
Uh, sure.
Hey, Mom? Before we start,
there's something I have to tell you.
You might not like it.
Then, maybe it can wait
until we're not learning how great we all are.
I broke the Mendoza's banister.
- You did what? - Oh, it's cool.
We're cool.
Oh, that felt good.
I also brush my teeth with chocolate syrup sometimes.
I hoard fortune cookies in my bedroom,
I chewed the hair off Katie's Barbies,
I stole Kyle's earflap hat 'cause it makes him look goofy,
and I swallow my gum and sometimes Silly Putty.
Oh, my gosh.
I didn't know people watched movies like this.
Oh, they do. Especially on Saturday night,
because that's the biggest night of the week.
Yeah.
Well, how do you watch movies?
On my phone, by pressing a button.
See, this is the problem.
Everyone wants to change everything.
Yes, exactly. I mean, who needs change?
Yeah, you get me, Frances.
Aren't you darling.
We're actually here to ask you about a Yelp review
that I'm... having a hard time believing you wrote.
My son writes those for me, yeah.
He thought it would be good for me to put my anger somewhere.
So, it was for a handyman?
Joe Perry?
A tall, shady, play-crashing mom-dater,
- who just... - I know the one.
Yeah.
I hired him to build more shelves.
So, when did he rob you?
Oh, this is a good story.
Okay, so,
he told me that lumber was two dollars a yard.
And I just bought lumber in 1998,
and it was only 75 cents.
Hm. And then he actually stole real stuff from you?
No.
Oh, but that's not the only reason you gave Joe a bad review, right?
Oh, no, no, no.
Yeah, I'm just getting started.
See, that's what I thought. Yes. Okay, spill it, Frances.
That criminal put gliders on all my drawers.
Now, who wants a drawer that won't slam?
Why are people always fixing things that aren't even broken?
Yeah, yeah, who needs change?
Microwaves are ovens for lazy people.
Yeah, and social media?
I mean, come on, have a conversation.
And kale. That's just stuck-up lettuce.
I hear you, Frances.
And you know when it started?
When they gave women the right to vote!
- Yeah! Oh, no. No. - Wow.
Oh! Oh, my gosh,
action and adventure are their own category?
That's... I didn't know...
So now we know that Frances is crazy and Joe is not a thief.
Okay, so? So he didn't rob Frances.
But you heard what she said about those gliders.
Katie, I know that Joe is changing things,
but change isn't always bad.
If you never change, one day you wake up, and...
well, you're Frances.
You know, you're right.
And I... I do want my mom to be happy.
I just, uh, I need to give this a chance.
Okay, I guess I know
what I'm gonna talk to Dr. Corts about this week.
Another video store perk:
free popcorn.
Bet you don't get that with your inter-streaming load-downs.
Well, thanks, Frances.
Made that fresh on Tuesday.
Aah...
Oh, you don't have to do that.
But don't stop.
This is the part where I lie
and tell you my kids and my friends aren't usually this weird.
Oh, I think they're just the right amount of weird.
They're entertaining but not scary.
I like everyone.
Oh, I'm so glad.
'Cause we are a package deal.
And just so you know, they might tip into scary.
Well, they'll never scare me away.
Oh, and I get the feeling that Dave and Lori
might wanna do a double date.
And I'd be okay with that.
Great. We will take our own car.
Oh, definitely.
Great news.
He wants to go on a double date.
Oh.
- Sure, if we got time. - Yeah.
We'll have to check our calendar.
Dessert's ready.
I can't wait.
Did Jennifer make it?
No, I did.
Ah. I guess I'll try it.
This cake looks amazing. Let's eat.
Anyone order lava cake à la mode?
We got vanilla and french vanilla,
so there's something for everyone.
- Oh, great. - Me! Me! Me!
Just in time.
You saved my dessert.
Hey, no problem.
I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to hang out much tonight.
Next time.
How about when you come to my play?
That sounds great.
Yeah.
Oh, I forgot one.
I keep a squirrel in the attic. His name is Bobo.
Ah, I think that's everything.
Well, we missed a lot.
Mm-hm.
Hey, sorry I wasn't here for dinner.
Just... meeting Joe was just a little harder for me
than I thought.
Honey, I'm your mom.
I know it doesn't take an hour to get ice cream.
Tonight was kind of weird for me too.
I just... I wanted it to go well so badly.
I mean, that pouf.
It's just...
I guess I have a hard time with things changing. I don't know...
Oh, honey, I'm sure it didn't help that I wasn't myself.
You have had a lot to deal with this year,
and you have been handling it all so well.
I'm proud of you.
No matter what changes,
this never will.
My dad just told me what a VHS is.
Apparently, we have a bunch in the basement.
- And something called a... a VCR. - Oh!
Oh, good... I think.
- Oh, it is. - Oh, okay.
This is my parents' wedding. You're gonna want to see this.
I killed it on the dance floor that night.
My perm was on point.
Oh, okay, yeah.
- I definitely have to see this. - Yes.
Oh.
Mm-hm.
- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --