Friday night!
Who's ready for the DTLA Hot and Hard Festival?
Yeah!
I am not overpaying for pills
from a dude in a porta-potty again.
We've got uppers, downers, laughers, screamers,
tampons soaked in vodka, and your favorite...
Cherry MDMA bites!
And for me... I stole this from UCLA before I got fired.
Uh, you got anything more Dad speed?
A glow stick, maybe?
Yeah, a glow stick.
Josh! W-W-Wait, you're drinking it?
Uhhh... yeah.
I thought you guys were telling me about a life hack.
That's awesome!
Hot and Hard! Hot and Hard!
Thanks for letting me pretend like
I have enough free time to go to a concert.
What a rush.
Hmm, what do we have here?
Oh. It looks like a piece of plastic?
It's a similar shape as the toy...
Ahh!
Morning, Candice. May I present to you...
Ta-da! Eggs Bunny-dict!
Hmm. Hey, you watching
an unboxing video, Candice?
We have this sort of, uh, spinner toy.
Let's see what this is all about.
Candice, why don't you just unbox this one?
This is better.
Hey, I got an idea.
Let's do something we can both enjoy?
All right Candice, this guy right here is Teddy Ruxpin.
Hi. Can you and I be frieeeeennnnn...
Oh, dude!
Magic Eight Ball, are we having a great time right now?
- Huh? - Yes, another twist tie!
Interesting choice they made on that one.
Teddy, how am I gonna bond with my daughter?
Let me die.
Hey, let's get rid of this evil robot.
Might as well.
Candice doesn't want to do anything I liked as a kid.
Whoa! My old skateboard!
I used to love skating.
Whoa! A body rollerskate!
Look, look! I'm a foot! Hwuh, hwuh, hwuh, hwuh.
I haven't seen her this happy since that coyote bit her
and she thought she was gonna turn into a werewolf.
Candice, you want me to teach you how to skate?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Skate Dad.
Big day, Candice!
I remember when my dad took me to my first skate shop.
Sure, they're a little grungy, a little cluttered,
but I'll be there to guide you the whole way,
- Wooooow. - What up, what up, what up!
This guy knows what time it is!
Oh my God, Dad, that's Bob Jonesworth! Dad?
All right, Candice, you ready to go in?
Yeah!
Dad, why did you take me to the Apple Store?
What the... Oh, check this out.
Bob Jonesworth bombing Baxter Street.
What a legend.
Someday, you'll be bombing hills just like your dad used to.
Bob Jonesworth is my dad?
No. I'm your dad. That's... never mind.
What up, what up, what up!
This dude knows what time it is!
Oh, can I help you with some watches?
What? We're here to shred.
I'm looking for some righteous decks!
Uh, righteous dicks?
No, man, a deck. I want a skateboard.
Oh. You're gonna want The Goosh.
Yo, Goosh!
Be right with ya, folks!
- Ohh! - Oh, my God, wow.
I could do that.
Hey, I'm The Goosh. Can I help you?
No doubt. No doubt, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt.
Pardon me, sir?
Uh, we're looking for a skateboard for our daughter.
Nice! What's your name, shorty?
Candice. Why do they call you "The Goosh"?
Because when I skate it sounds like...
Goooooosh!
So, can I help you pick a deck, here?
No! We're good. We'll do the picking.
You can just do the selling or ringing up or whatever.
No help needed.
All right, Candice. Choose wisely.
Mmmm... That one!
Oh my God, Josh, that board is $100.
Well, this one's on sale.
Is that you?
Yeah! Well, no, it's a picture of me.
The real me is right here!
Oh, hello, Goosh!
That's a little inappropriate for children.
We'll take the Satan board.
Daddy, can you teach me how to ollie like "The Goosh?"
The cashier? Nah. He doesn't know what he's doing.
- Can you Ollie? - Oh, I dunno.
Show us! Show us! Show us!
Okay, fine.
Watch and learn.
Taking notes, Tony Hawk?
That dude just got ass knifed!
I'm fine. I'm not done shredding yet.
Daddy, what's an ass knife?
Uhh, that's a different lesson!
Dang, Josh. I can't believe they put a metal plate on your taint.
Skate Dad is skate sad.
At least I'm trying my best, unlike my dad.
All he ever did was point at his watch angrily.
I know it means a lot to Candice that you're trying so hard.
"This guy got ass-knifed.
We have to take him to the hospital."
I'm gonna go show her how to roll down that ramp.
Haha! You know what? Your metal plate is kind of cool.
Does it hurt, though? The only thing that's hurting is my heart,
because I can't be out there
helping Candice realize her skate potential.
Now, let me be. These pain pills should be kicking in any min...
Skate Dad.
♪ La La La La La La La La La ♪
♪ La La La La La La La La LA LA LA LA ♪
♪ La La La La La ♪
♪ La La La La ♪
♪ La La La ♪
♪ La La La La La ♪
♪ La La La La ♪
♪ La La La ♪
You suck.
Hey, what's going on?
Where are we right now?
Hey, Dad! Check it out!
Wait, you taught Candice to skate?
Nooo...
Yo, Skate Dad! Your kid's a natural!
Natural.
Josh! What?
I knew how bad you wanted Candice to learn to skate,
so I went back to the skate shop
and I signed her up for a lesson.
You shred, Candy!
We'll have you ollyin' in no time!
Thanks, Papa Goosh!
Papa Goosh.
Yeah! Great job, guys! Whooo!
So stupid. Pff. Hmph.
Pfft. I could do that.
Wah! Oof!
Candice!
You okay, Candy Cane?
I scraped my knee!
I got it.
Now, I'm Skate Dad.
That's it!
Come on, Emily.
We're leaving.
Whoa, Sir-groiny Weaver,
- where's this coming from? - I've had enough.
It's one thing that this guy is teaching Candice to skate,
but now he's trying to out-Skate-Dad me, too?
Aw, come on.
Hey, I can teach you, too. It's a free class.
You know what, The Goosh, you're full of it!
Enough with the nice-guy act.
Act? I'm nice. I'm a nice guy.
We're gonna settle this old-school.
Let's bomb the gnarliest hill in LA...
Baxter Street.
No doubt.
No doubt. No doubt, no doubt. Josh, this is insane!
Uh, excuse me, sir. Obviously, you're a little agitated.
Skate Dad is not too old to bomb Baxter Street!
Josh! What is wrong with you?
Why are you doing this?
Skate or die! Whooo!
- Candice! - Whoa!
I'm coming for you, baby!
Wait! I haven't taught you about street bombing yet!
If anyone's gonna teach her, it should be me, Skate Dad!
- Hang on, Candice! - Ma'am!
What you're gonna want to do is lean with the wind.
I'm scared, Goosh!
Don't tell The Goosh you're scared. Tell me.
I'm your Dad!
Why are you doing this?
Why am I doing this?
This was supposed to be myfun thing
that I get to do with mydaughter.
And this evil Goosh-bag
is trying to take that away from me!
I don't need your help 'cause I know what time it is.
Huh?
Dude, listen.
My dad never took me skating,
and I'm trying to be a different type of dad for Candice.
Goosh, thanks for your help, but I have to do this myself.
Whoa, gnarly!
My old man never took me skating.
I just took it up to reject him.
- Respect, dude. - No doubt.
No doubt. Goosh out!
Okay, I'll admit that was pretty cool.
Daddy!
Candice, you have to stand up!
Okay.
I'm doing it!
Whoa!
Jump back! I got you!
What?! Just do it!
Come on, baby. Hold together.
Oh, shi...
Oh, no.
Josh, look out!
Go under! Go under!
Over there!
Yeah, Skate Dad! Yeah!
That man's no Skate Dad.
He's a Skate Father.