Alex: But every time that boulder got to the top of the mountain,
it rolled back down.
Lee: Yeah, that's right, girl. Uh, we'll go to the cemetery later.
Um, they're playing that movie "Goonies," right?
So we can hook up on my nana's grave. It'll be so romantic.
Lee, I told you... you can't be on the phone!
It's called grave throbbing.
- Lee! - Wait, hold up, girl.
- Yo, what's up, Dorp? - It's "Professor Dorpenberger."
Oh, sorry, Dorp.
Hey, can you throw this in the trash for me?
Um, I got a boner right now,
so it's, like... I don't want anybody to see it...
unless you want me to.
Lee, I am legally not allowed to hit you.
Okay. I am dead inside.
♪♪
Dante: People are starving all over the world,
and this dude is getting a TV installed on his yacht?
America is so cool.
Hey, just come on up, guys!
[Laughs] Josh Singleton?!
Uh... yeah?
Dude, Josh! It's me... Keith Nash!
- Nash Man Games? - No way!
I haven't seen you since you sold your game "Heli Man"
and became heli-rich.
We just sold 100 million copies of our latest app,
got voted best video game company of the year,
[Singsong voice] and check out who made the cover!
[Normal voice] No retouching at all.
Back in the day, we used to worship this guy.
What guy? This guy?
His game "Dudeman" was the shizz!
How much you sell that baby for?
You know, it's not finished.
It might never be finished.
Artist! Dude, I love it!
[Helicopter blades whirring ] Look, I better take off.
I'm doing this sold-out keynote speech at E3.
[Snorts] Did it last year.
Well, anyway, thanks for plugging in my TV!
Just make sure to lock up when you're done!
I think this is actually pretty retouched.
[Laughter]
[Grunts] And these 90-degree angles
should get you to remember the Pythagorean theorem!
[Grunting]
[Cheering]
Oh, my God. She just makes me want to learn.
Wow. That was amazing.
Yeah, I can't feel my arms,
but at least my students are learning math.
I can't get my students to pay attention to a word I say.
Kids today need a gimmick,
or you won't break through to them.
♪♪
I guess when I taught at UCLA,
the students loved my special lecture
as Professor Dorpen-Borat.
[European accent] Joan of Arc was hot.
She burned at stake.
Wah, wah, wee, wah!
My buddy's a professor at Yale,
and he changed his class to Stunting Through History...
ditched his whole curriculum for stunts.
[Chuckles] You do what you got to do.
Hmm.
Alex: So, Icarus took the handmade wings
and, ignoring his father's sound advice,
flew towards the sun...
just as I will now fly across these two buildings.
Hey, that's a pretty long jump, Dorp.
I hope you have insurance.
I don't need insurance. [Chuckles]
[Whispering] But I kind of wish I had it.
Hey, what's the holdup, Dorp? Are you doing this or not?
Oh, I'm doing this.
I'm so doing this.
And you... [Exhales sharply]
Will be... [Exhales sharply]
Engaaaaaaaged!
[Sighs] Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
Oh! Whoa! Aaah! Ooh!
Aaaaaaah! Ungh! Aaaaaaaaaah!
[Sirens wailing] [Alex groaning]
Shh, shh, shh. It's okay. That's okay.
Yo, Dorp, what's your Instagram, so I can tag you?
♪♪
Nash: His game "Dudeman" was the shizz!
[Echoing] Shizz!
♪♪
[Computer whirs]
[Beep]
D... D... Dudeman!
Pfft. Of course.
♪♪
D... D... Dude...
♪♪
D... D... Dude...
Ugh!
[Electricity crackles]
[Distorted] Dudeman.
Ugh!
Hey, bro. Long time, no see.
What the...
Where you been, bud? Why'd you bail on me?
I didn't bail!
Dude! You were so close!
♪♪
Josh: Yeah, but don't you remember the presentation?
I give you "Dudeman"!
[Cheers and applause]
D... D... Dudeman!
[Video game music plays, skipping]
This game isn't even finished?
[Audience booing] Uh, that's not supposed to...
Hang on.
Oh, man! Boo!
Let's go check out "Helicopter Man"
or whatever that one game was called.
[Thud echoes]
It was the worst moment of my life.
Come on, bro!
[Blipping]
It's time you finally finished this game!
Yeah, but I don't know what to do for the last level.
That's because you're all old now.
If you want to come up with better ideas,
you got to get in touch with your 20-year-old self.
[Funky music plays]
♪♪
[Engine revs]
Bodacious!
[Rock music plays]
Alex: Ahh! Thanks for introducing me to your friend.
One of my students posted this video on Instagram,
and it's humiliating.
Ungh! Aaaaaaaaaah!
The Internet has made us all ruthless animals.
Hold up! Oh, right.
Mm-hmm. Good to go.
Ooooh! Ugh! Whoo!
Ugh! [Groans]
What a rush!
There she is.
She was married to the greatest stuntman of all time.
Genevieve?
Well, well, well.
You got a lot of nerve showing up here
after keeping our security deposit.
Uh... Oh, my God!
[Both laugh]
We used to do that bit all the time at the apartment.
I miss those days.
You must be Alex.
Eh, yeah.
I heard you need some help with a stunt.
Follow me.
[Both grunting]
♪♪
Josh?
♪♪
[Dramatic music plays]
[Belches]
Josh! What did you do?!
[Chuckles] I did everything...
partying, skating,
and doing the 'do!
Remember how cool these were?
No one remembers that, Josh! Why are you doing this?
I'm just trying to finish my old game, "Dudeman"!
"Dudeman"?! That's why you've been out all night?!
Haven't you ever wondered what our lives would be like
if I hadn't given up?
Well, as soon as I'm a little less wasted,
we're gonna find out!
[Groans]
[Sighs]
Genevieve: This is the stunt library.
Every great stunt ever performed
is immortalized in these walls.
Alex: "The Joys of Almost Dying"?
"Circumcision by Fire"?
"100 Word Jumbles"?
That shouldn't be in here.
Whoa!
Interesting choice.
That stunt began in ancient Egypt
with a man trying to get the attention of a handmaiden.
The French had their spin on it,
the Chinese after them,
and so on.
What's it called?
The Widow Maker.
♪♪
We all want eyes on us,
but if we're reckless, it comes with a huge price.
No, no, no. You're right.
JK! I'll do it! [Laughs]
Wait! I was trying to talk you out of it, you idiot!
[Engine revs]
[Tires squeal]
♪♪
[Engine idling]
Well, congratulations, dummy.
You got a PhD from Stanford
so you could die doing this stunt
for some community college dum-dums
who threw a paper at you.
Okay!
So, today, we're learning
about the greatest widow maker of all... Zeus!
Dorp! Man, don't do it.
I thought you guys wanted this.
I mean, we love seeing dudes do stupid shit,
but you're our boy, Dorp.
I'm... your boy?
It's like that dude Sisyphus.
He kept trying to push that car up the mountain,
but he couldn't handle it, and he quit.
Eh, technically, Sisyphus couldn't quit.
But you know what? You got most of it.
Well, check this out, Dorp.
You're our Sisyphus.
Wah, wah, wee, wah.
You know, it's kind of...
[Engine revs] Whoa!
[Tires squealing] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Whoooa!
Aaaaaaaaaah!
Ugh!
[Grunting]
[Sirens wailing]
Dorp!
What is it, Lee?
I'm-a post this right quick.
[Grunting]
[Strained] Go for it, man.
Ohh! So, there's not gonna be any stunts?!
[Engine revs]
Who wants to see me drop-kick this jump in the dick?!
Uh-oh. [Cheering]
[Cheering, engine revs]
Josh! Buddy!
You maybe want to consider not doing this?
Consider this!
Whoo-hoo! [Tires squeal]
Okay. That is pretty cool.
Josh! Stop!
- Dad! - Ramirez!
We should go grab a drink after I crush this stunt!
Josh, get off that thing! You're gonna kill yourself!
I'm not getting off!
I don't want to be a failure anymore.
What?! You're not a failure.
Psh! Current-day you is a total failure!
Unless you finally finish your game!
[Engine revs] Josh! Look at me.
You're not a failure.
[Acoustic guitar playing]
♪ Oooooooh ♪
♪ Oooooooo-o-oh ♪
You're right. I'm sorry.
I guess I thought this was the only way
that I could fulfill my dream,
but... dreams change.
What?! No!
We want the fame, the fortune, the cover of the magazine!
Aah! Ugh!
[Groaning] Stop it!
What the hell? Ugh! Ow!
I'm not going back to that hard drive!
[Engine revs, tires squeal]
[Gasps]
This is it!
This should be the last level of the game!
No way! Game over, Dudeman.
No! Wait!
I'd rather hang out with my family!
Ugh!
Nooooooooo!
Hwuah-ah-ah!
"F" you, Josh!
"F" yoooooou...
[Engine revs]
[Tires squeal]
Yeah!
We're gonna talk about this later!
[All gasp]
Like Icarus,
that dude flew way too close to the Sun.
[High-pitched] Aw!
♪♪