Last night was my TED Talk, and it couldn't have gone any better.
Women who feel productive and creative during their stay in prison
are four times less likely to reoffend.
Four.
If desistance is where we want them to be, how do we get them there?
We sing.
We sing and we desist.
But it is business, and there's a legal issue.
- When isn't there? - When nothing illegal has happened.
Nothing illegal has happened.
- What was the title of your TED Talk? - "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings."
That does sound familiar.
It is a pun based on the title of a book by Maya Angelou.
It's the exact title of a book by Maya Angelou,
which means it's not a pun, it's, um... Oh, what do they call it?
Plagiarism.
It is a pun, and the matter will be sorted by lunchtime.
I'm waiting for their legal team to call me.
Oh, Laura, Laura, Laura.
This is why you need me, your wingman, your trusted number two.
- Don't start this again. - I would've spotted these silly mistakes.
When will you ever learn there's no shame in needing a number two?
When will you ever learn I don't need a number two?
I bet you did last night.
Think how more confident you would've felt having a number two by the stage.
Believe me, having a number two by the side of the stage last night
would have done very little for my confidence.
This would be them.
Hello.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Good to know.
Thank you.
I'm being sued by Maya Angelou's estate.
Bloody hell.
That sounds serious.
It is.
Are you okay?
I need a shit.
- ♪ For more ♪ - ♪ Jail fight, jail fight ♪
I know that, you know, people laugh at the governor Laura and that,
but she's doing it great and I'm loving it.
I'm loving it. I really love it, and all the other girls are.
They're really putting in the time and I love it. I love it!
I love it!
I. Love. It.
Some good news just in.
Ange's trial has collapsed, as we hoped it would.
All charges have been dropped and she is free to go.
And as if that wasn't enough excitement for one women's correctional facility,
it is the first night of Songs From The Inside.
The joint is positively jumpin'.
Look at his face.
- Are you all packed up, Flange? - Yeah, yeah.
Just gotta settle up my room service bill, then I'll be on me way.
- Look, girls, I just want to say... - Hold on.
Let's just watch that lady fall off that log.
I-I don't... I don't know what to say, really,
other than thank you,
all of you, for all of it.
The friendship and the support and the laughs
- and for believing that I'm innocent. - We're all innocent, love.
Some more than others.
Um, but what I just really want to say is, um, just thank you for listening...
Uh, sorry, Ange.
It's all right. Look, you lot have your fun.
Bye.
Good luck for the show tonight.
I know we've had our differences, but, um, I wish you well.
Thanks. You too.
Okay.
Oh, you're not supposed to say "good luck," are you?
Because that brings bad luck or something. It's, um, "break a leg," isn't it?
Oh, well.
For goodness' sake, Doug.
Every time.
I always know when she's coming, but she falls for it...
For goodness' sake, Doug.
...every time.
Here she is.
'Ey up. What's good today, then?
Any recommendations?
I keep having this recurring dream about Cheryl.
Steady, Gal, there's a permanent record of this.
Oh, no, it's not mucky.
I'm in the Queen Vic, yeah, waiting to be served.
Cheryl's behind the bar.
Now, it's not very busy 'cause it's a hot day,
and there's a pop-up farmers market in the square.
Anyway, I'm really thirsty and I'm trying to get her attention,
but she keeps ignoring me.
Then Dr. Legg walks in carrying this big hoop that I jump through,
but still, nothing from Cheryl.
So, I say jokingly,
"What's a bloke got to do to get a drink around here?"
And she leans over, and she says,
"For God's sake, Gary, why don't you fuck off?"
I mean, what does that mean?
Who could ever say, boo.
Impenetrable.
Funny old thing, ain't ya?
Dreams?
♪ Ooh ♪
US southern state known for its mud pie.
It's, um...
Mississippi. Mississippi mud pie.
- M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I. - M-I-double-S-I-double-S-I-double-P-I.
- What? - What's your one?
M-I-double-S-I-double-S-I-double-P-I. What are you doing?
M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I. Obvs.
- Why do you do it that way? - Why don't you?
Do you know how weird you both are?
Mm-hmm.
I shall write that in.
But I shall say M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I.
M-I-double-S-I-double-S-I-double-P-I.
Ah, your one doesn't fit.
All right.
I mean, how do they not see it?
I don't object to the idea of a juice bar
- in principle. - Yes, you do.
I just think along with the adult soft-play area and the auditorium,
there's not much room left for an actual prison.
That's ridiculous, isn't it? You know I didn't ask for the auditorium.
Any chance of a private word?
Sure, yeah. I'll just leave you to it, shall I?
Hmm, I'm joking. Of course you mean with me.
Goodbye.
Be gone.
- Come on in, Ros. What can I do for you? - I... I-I got this from... from me mammy.
I recognize the handwriting, but I can't read.
And she can read, but she don't speak. And I don't trust anyone else.
Why... Why is she writing to me, Laura?
Um, did something bad happen? Is she not coming to see the show?
'Cause she said she would, and I know she really wants to.
So, did... did something bad happen to her?
Okay, Ros. Just... Why don't you take a seat. Let me have a look.
Is it bad?
Um...
Is she coming to see the show?
No.
Wh...
Why?
Why don't I, uh...
Why don't I read it to you?
"Dear Ros,
I received the money. Thank you.
But I haven't used it to buy the camper van."
What?
"I'm sorry. I know this will be a shock.
I can't go into details, but I need to go away for both our sakes.
I'm devastated I won't be able to see your show,
but I know you'll be really feckin good.
So, sing your heart out for me, my precious daughter.
I love you.
God bless. Mammy."
Shit.
She said that?
Sh...
She loves me.
I mean, I always knew that she did...
...but, you know, to hear her say it, that's just...
That's the best thing I've ever heard.
This is everything.
I'm gonna keep that forever.
I can't wait to tell the other girls.
Let 'em see it. Let 'em read it.
My mammy loves me.
Yeah, actually, Ros,
I'm gonna have to just hang on to it for a little while longer.
Um, it's boring protocol stuff.
Run it through the system, blah, blah, blah.
- And then you can have it back. - Please.
I will take special care of it, I promise.
Thank you, Laura.
You are most welcome.
My mammy loves me.
"To Ros,
by the time you read this, I'll be long gone,
and not in some poxy camper van, but thanks for the money.
I'm cutting off the deadwood. You are the deadwood.
And I'm not coming to see your poofy show either,
you feckin embarrassment."
Now speed it up. Speed it up.
We're going so fast. We're going so fast! We're going so fast!
"You were never the daughter I wanted, anyways.
God bless. Mammy."
Most of my inmates have had dreadful lives.
They've come from unimaginable circumstances
and I can't change that.
But while they are here, with me, that is where change can happen.
No good would come from Ros hearing her mother's vile words.
It's about resetting the narrative, sometimes literally.
I had to fight really hard
to make this musical happen.
To convince people it isn't just about prisoners singing songs.
It's about so much more than that.
It's about giving them purpose and confidence and self-worth.
Having something good in their lives, perhaps for the first time.
I want these women to fly.
And I like to think Maya Angelou would approve.
♪ You never know what you're gonna find ♪
♪ Till you look inside ♪
Woo-hoo! Opening night's tonight! Heather's done an amazing job with us.
I know but I can't believe we gotta perform it in front of people.
Oh, shut up, you're making me nervous.
I've puked twice already. I'm fucking shit scared.
My life, this is the best thing I've ever done!
It's the best thing any of us have done. Let's hear it for our governor!
- We love you! - Love you, Laura!
They let us invite people. All our people are coming.
It's great. All our families are gonna see it.
What she said!
What's that? Your resignation letter in case it all goes tits up tonight?
Which it probably will, so makes sense to get a jump start on it.
♪ Fuck off, Dean, fuck off ♪
♪ Fuck off, Dean, fuck off, Dean Fuck off, Dean, fuck off ♪
♪ Have you fucked off yet, Dean? Have you fucked off yet, Dean? ♪
♪ Have you fucked off yet, Dean? Have you fucked off... ♪
Fuck off!
Sometimes you've just got to give it to her.
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Ba-ba-da-da ♪
All right, everyone!
- Big circle. Hold hands. - Holding Heather's hand.
Before you do, Heather, we got you three a little something
just to say thank you.
Oh.
You give us your time and we really appreciate you.
It means a lot and we'll never forget you.
Ah.
That's a clay penis with the top cut off.
Oh.
Never again.
Not till the next time.
One, two, three!
♪ I wake up every day it's a daydream ♪
♪ Everythin' in my life Ain't what it seems ♪
♪ I wake up just to go back to sleep ♪
♪ I act real shallow But I'm in too deep, oh! ♪
♪ Some people think I'm bonkers ♪
♪ But I just think I'm free ♪
♪ Man, I'm just livin' my life There's nothin' crazy about me ♪
I just farted.
I won't lie.
There's a time when I'd have relished this going wrong for her.
Watch her humiliate herself again with the same poor ideas, badly executed.
But this time feels different.
What is it she says?
"Rehabilitation through creativity," or something.
I'm just joking. That's exactly what she says.
And I think she's right.
Don't get me wrong,
I still think she's a bit of a dick, but you know what?
Today's all about the win.
♪ Bars on the window ♪
♪ Still I know there's blue Beyond those clouds I see ♪
♪ Every kind of sky... ♪
I do feel quite nervous, but, um, you know, it's not like...
- I do know all the words and I know... - What the fuck?
Oh, my God. Have I pissed myself?
Darling, it's all right. Your waters have broken.
- What's happened? - What? But I'm not due yet.
- She can't come today. - Can we get some help, please?
She's gone into labor. Come on, darling. Let's get you out of here.
Just checking, is there any chance you have just pissed yourself?
- Can you still sing? - What's going on?
It's a contraction.
If you're certain, but only... You know, it's an hour and a half till curtain up.
I'm pretty sure she's having a baby, Heather.
- Oh, my God. - But she's playing the lead!
Not now, Martin!
My bad.
Good luck with the baby!
- Shit. - What are we gonna do?
- You're gonna have to do it. - Oh, Jesus Christ.
Hey, how are we getting on then, gang?
For God's sake, Gary, why don't you fuck off?
Dream come true.
Literally.
Panic over, Heather.
What's got two thumbs that's going to save the day?
This one.
No Charlee, no problem.
I'll do it.
I don't know any of her lines. I don't know any of her songs.
It doesn't matter.
I'm gonna freestyle the shit out of this!
And you're coming with me!
It's my time to shine!
Just follow my lead!
I'm excited!
♪ When someone sees me ♪
♪ For who I really am ♪
♪ Sees me ♪
♪ And reaches out a hand ♪
On second thoughts, Heather, she should do it.
Great shout, Vivian.
- Yeah! - You saved the day!
I can't believe you!
♪ When someone sees me ♪
♪ For who I really am ♪
I did that.
All right, everyone. You ready?
Showtime!
How lovely to see you.
This is a great day.
- All my favorite ladies in one room. - Oh, yes.
Mama Dede and Auntie Nala will see my Rosalind
- for the very first time. - Yeah.
We have already seen a photo. She's a gift from heaven.
- A very good match for our Sebastian. - Hallelujah.
So, Ros... Rosalind is in it, yes.
Thought I'd give it another go.
Maybe my luck will change tonight. Nice to show a bit of support though, isn't it?
Very least, I'll get another whiff of her hair.
- Thank you for coming. - Thank you.
- Oh, hello. - How are you? Yeah.
I've got to go.
Three weeks ago, there was no show.
Now, we are teetering on the brink of curtain up.
Snatched victory from the jaws of defeat, much?
It's Laura, isn't it? Heard so much about you, haven't we kids?
Fantastic what you're doing here. We're so excited, aren't we?
Yeah, so excited! Can't wait to see Mum on stage!
You're the one who got her that pretty dress, aren't you?
All right, everyone. We're ready to make our way through now.
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Ba-ba-da-da ♪
What's this for?
Oh, it's all happening.
Well, this is turning out to be quite the day.
But we have a very fine...
...albeit previously mute singer to take your place.
So we are peachy!
- Don't worry, you haven't let anyone down. - Yeah, that's not what I'm worried about.
The show will go on. This... This hasn't ruined anything.
I'll let you get on with it. The ambulance is 20 minutes away.
Bonne chance. Good luck. Knock 'em dead.
- We've not got that long. - Who's not got what now?
This baby's coming now.
This baby is coming now. Well, I'll get out of your way then.
- Laura. - Yes?
- Can you stay? - Hmm?
Please will you stay with me?
You mean here? Not see the show?
Please.
Of course.
Thank you.
How do I feel about being excluded? It's killing me.
Fucking...
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm Cheryl Fergison, and I've had the honor
of directing these fantastic women.
Cheryl Fergison.
It's been a journey for all of us, but throughout it all,
I never doubted them for a second.
So, without further ado, let's get this party started!
Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you HMP Woldsley's production
of Songs From The Inside.
This is from my mammy.
Sorry, Heather. Who's Cheryl?
All right. First positions, everyone. Come on.
♪ Songs from the inside... ♪
Can you hear that? I hope it's going well for 'em.
♪ You lock me up and forget me ♪
♪ But I ain't going away ♪
♪ Never know what you're gonna find ♪
♪ When we look at where we... ♪
♪ Find ourselves ♪
♪ With songs from the inside Songs from the inside ♪
♪ You can find yourself singing songs... ♪
Oh! That is painful...
...for both of us, I imagine.
Whoo!
I can't believe I'm getting all my stuff back.
I'll go now.
- You take care. - Thank you.
♪ Never know what you're gonna find ♪
♪ You'll never know, you'll never know ♪
- ♪ You never know what you're gonna find ♪ - ♪ Ooh-ooh, yeah ♪
♪ You never know what you're gonna find Till you look inside ♪
Oh! It's coming!
There, I can see something quite big...
...out of something quite small!
The thing is, you just have to keep the fight,
know who you are and that your true self will win out in the end.
- ♪ I'm a faceless person ♪ - ♪ Gonna get there one day ♪
- ♪ Forgotten and unknown ♪ - ♪ Gonna find my way ♪
- ♪ Frightened that mistakes I've made ♪ - ♪ Gonna get there one day ♪
- ♪ Define me ♪ - ♪ Gonna find my way ♪
♪ Define me ♪
♪ Won't you see me ♪
♪ For who I really am ♪
♪ Sees me and reaches out their hand ♪
♪ Take my hand Take my hand, take my hand ♪
♪ Take me out of my inside world ♪
♪ To where I'm free ♪
♪ 'Cause someone sees me ♪
That's what they call a ballad.
Just one more big push, okay?
Okay?
Incredible. There is a person coming out of a person.
You clever, clever girl.
It's been a pleasure.
You see the very best and the very worst of people in there.
But all you've really got is each other.
And if you don't understand that, well, you're in trouble.
Some people understand the importance of loyalty,
solidarity, sisterhood.
Surround yourself with those people if you can.
And for those who don't understand the power
of standing shoulder to shoulder,
well, I hope they learn that lesson one day.
♪ Take this as my last confession ♪
♪ This will be mine after all ♪
Well, it's never too late.
Because like I always say,
never underestimate how good people can be.
Not good.
Stupid.
♪ This will be my final teardrop ♪
♪ This will be our curtain call ♪
♪ Take this as my last confession ♪
♪ This will be mine after all ♪
♪ This will be our ♪
♪ This will be ♪
♪ This will be my final teardrop ♪
♪ This will be our curtain call ♪
♪ Take this as my last confession ♪
♪ This will be mine after all ♪
♪ This will be my final teardrop ♪
♪ This will be our curtain call ♪
♪ Take this as my last confession... ♪
I didn't know it was a real knife! Why was it a real knife?
Oh, my God, Rosalind!
♪ A final teardrop ♪
Do you want to hold?
Oh.
All right. Yeah.
Oh. Yeah.
Well, aren't you something?
Laura, you've got to come with me.
Dean.
She's a boy.
Now, Laura.
Oh, you're my number two. Can't you deal with it?
Not this time.
- Why? - I want you to have him.
- What? - You'll be good at it.
♪ Dressed in robes of white ♪
♪ But these aren't wedding bells That strike ♪
You Vicki?
♪ The hour of our love ♪
- Are we good? - Yeah.
♪ So dance, dance for the master ♪
♪ 'Cause it's not peace we've found ♪
♪ Just one knife dropping from above ♪
♪ Brother, won't you come Brother, won't you come ♪
♪ Brother come to the potter's grave ♪
♪ Sister, don't you run Sister, don't you run ♪
♪ Sister, don't you run, run away ♪
♪ 'Cause blackbird sings today ♪