- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --
("DON'T LET ME BE MISUNDERSTOOD" BY NINA SIMONE PLAYING)
♪ Baby, you understand me now ♪
♪ If sometimes you see that I'm mad? ♪
♪ Don't you know no one alive can always be an angel? ♪
♪ When everything goes wrong, you see some bad ♪
♪ But, oh, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good ♪
♪ Oh, Lord ♪
♪ Please don't let me be misunderstood ♪
♪ Doo, doo, doo ♪
♪ Oh, oh-oh-oh baby, I'm just human ♪
♪ Don't you know I have faults like anyone? ♪
♪ Sometimes, I find myself alone ♪
♪ Regretting some little foolish thing ♪
♪ Some simple thing that I've done ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm just a soul whose intentions are good ♪
♪ Oh, Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood ♪
♪ Doo, doo ♪
♪ Don't let me be misunderstood ♪
♪ I try so hard ♪
♪ So please don't let me be misunderstood... ♪
- _ - (SONG FADES OUT)
♪ Just a dream, just a dream ♪
♪ Just a dream ♪
♪ All our plans and all our schemes ♪
♪ All our schemes ♪
♪ How could I think you'd be mine? ♪
♪ You'd be mine ♪
♪ Those lies I'd tell myself each time ♪
♪ I know that we could never last ♪
♪ Never last ♪
(SINGING ECHOES, DISTORTS)
(UNSETTLING MUSIC PLAYING OVER SONG)
(KNOCKING)
- ALLAN: Candy? - Yeah?
Oh. I-I'm, I'm due back at work soon.
Oh, sure. Come on in.
(SHOWER RUNNING)
Well, I think under the circumstances,
God won't bat an eye at us showering together.
Probably not.
(LAUGHS)
(SHOWER CONTINUES RUNNING)
- Is there enough room? - Oh, yeah, plenty.
Are you sure? 'Cause I...
- No, we're fine. See? - (LIGHT SPLASHING)
It's not the best water pressure, but... (LAUGHS)
Allan.
Thank you.
For what?
Just thank you.
♪ Jeremiah was a bullfrog ♪
♪ Was a good friend of mine ♪
♪ I never understood a single word he said ♪
♪ But I helped him a-drink his wine ♪
CHOIR (SINGING): ♪ And he always had some mighty fine wine! ♪
♪ Singing joy to the world ♪
♪ All the boys and girls ♪
♪ Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea ♪
♪ Joy to you and me ♪
♪ Joy to the world ♪
♪ All the boys and girls ♪
♪ Joy to the world ♪
♪ Joy to you and me ♪
♪ Joy to the world ♪
♪ All the boys and girls ♪
♪ Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea ♪
♪ Joy to you and... ♪
♪ Me... ♪
♪ ... eee! ♪
- (PIANO STOPS) - (APPLAUSE, CHEERING)
- Oh, my dear heaven. - (APPLAUSE STOPS)
(SNIFFLES)
The idea that this may be the last day
I listen to that choir...
(SNIFFLES)
Well. It's not gonna be the last time. Simple as that.
I may not be your minister going forward,
but I want you all to know that you are in good hands.
My replacement, Pastor Ron Adams.
- Stand up, Ron. - (SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
You will be lucky to have him and his wife, Mary. Please stand, Mary.
(PEW CREAKS)
JACKIE: And, my God,
they will be, oh, so lucky to have all of you.
He's gonna be a disaster.
Now, we have to give him a chance, Betty.
BETTY: Look at him. Look at him.
Who wears an orange coat to church?
- Or to anywhere? - ALLAN: Honey, hey.
BETTY: We're to take spiritual guidance from him?
Plus, where's our loyalty to Jackie?
Betty. She wasn't fired.
BETTY: Yes, you keep saying that, Don.
Well, why would she have been fired?
Well, because she got a divorce,
and it isn't acceptable for a minister to do that.
He looks so stiff and rigid.
BETTY: He looks... like a child.
Always makes me nervous when the choir clusters.
(CAROL CHUCKLES)
Betty thinks you're being forced out on account of your divorce.
Well, it's all been so rush-rush. And we end up with him?
- He's a child. In an orange coat. - JACKIE: Betty.
You need to listen to me. All of you.
You need to make this church work.
I want you to get along with this man.
Everybody here takes their cue from the choir.
What... I saw that. What was that?
Excuse me?
You two just looked at each other like you got a...
big secret.
(LAUGHS)
You're both on the council. You...
You would both know church business. Was she fired?
- Were you? - Betty.
God wouldn't just call you away from us.
JACKIE: But a bishop would.
- (CAR RUMBLING) - (RADIO PLAYING)
♪ Let your poor heart break a little, but... ♪
♪ That's the story of... ♪
♪ That's the glory of love ♪
(TURN SIGNAL CLICKING)
♪ Laugh a little, cry a little... ♪
(UNSETTLING MUSIC PLAYS OVER SONG)
(STOPS TURN SIGNAL)
♪ ♪
(BRAKES CREAK)
(KEYS JINGLE)
(CLICK)
ALLAN: Feels a little sleazy.
Well, I think that's what I like about it.
It's six and a half dollars cheaper.
I kind of like being cheap, too. It's sexy.
My goodness. This looks delicious.
(CANDY LAUGHS)
And so do you.
Oh, I'm finger-lickin' good, I am.
(CORK SQUEAKS, POURING)
I found a few cookies on my windshield at work.
That wouldn't be your doing, would it?
Well, gee, I don't know. Were they... snowmen? Little angels?
There's all kinds of Christmas cookies, you know.
I would need more detail before I could answer for sure.
(BOTH LAUGH QUIETLY)
(CHUCKLES)
Mm...
Can I... ask you a question?
Is Betty okay?
'Cause she got really riled up with that whole minister thing.
Betty doesn't love change.
She doesn't even like contingencies. Um...
I think if she had it her way,
everything would be exactly how it is today,
tomorrow, and the next day.
Well, she got a little scary.
You didn't even see the worst of it.
You know th-the little angels
that people made out of pipe cleaner
- and so forth? - What about 'em?
♪ ♪
This kind of stuff has got to go.
BETTY: Why?
One of our goals will be to spruce up
our outward-facing appearance.
Homemade decorations tend to convey...
"parochial," which is not best for attracting new parishioners.
Maybe it's you who should go.
She said that?
She got terrible postpartum
after Alisa was born,
which had started during the pregnancy.
But I think it's flaring up again.
I should take her out to lunch or coffee or something
'cause I've been neglecting her all this time
while I've been not neglecting her husband.
That was a joke, Allan. I'm sorry.
It wasn't an especially good one.
I just feel like an awful person. (SIGHS)
Betty's the most... wonderful wife.
- (SIGHS) - She's pregnant with my child, and...
here I am, in a sleazy motel room
- with a red velvet bedspread. - You know, we're not bad people.
We just have to stay vigilant.
We stick to our plan,
and we can never, ever allow Betty or Pat to get hurt.
Never, ever.
- Ever. - (DISTANT DOG BARKING)
("THE SHOOP SHOOP SONG" BY BETTY EVERETT PLAYING)
♪ Does he love me? ♪
♪ I wanna know ♪
- ♪ How can I tell if he loves me so? ♪ - (HEAVY BREATHING)
♪ Is it in his eyes? ♪
♪ Oh, no you'll be deceived ♪
♪ Is it in his eyes? ♪
♪ Oh, no, you'll make believe ♪
♪ If you wanna know if he loves you so ♪
♪ It's in his kiss ♪
♪ That's where it is ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, or is it in his face? ♪
♪ Oh, no, it's just his charm ♪
♪ In his warm embrace? ♪
♪ Oh, no, that's just his arm ♪
♪ If you wanna know if he loves you so ♪
- ♪ Oh, it's in his kiss ♪ - (LAUGHING)
♪ That's where it is ♪
♪ Oh, it's in his kiss ♪
- ♪ That's where it is ♪ - ♪ Oh, yeah... ♪
He has the most perfectly shaped penis I have ever seen.
Candace Lynn Montgomery.
I'm not saying he puts it to the best possible use.
- (LAUGHS) - SHERRY: I still don't get it.
I'm not sure I do either
'cause, you know, like you said, he's a little paunchy, but...
God, I don't know. Maybe it's a... pheromone sort of thing?
I don't know. It's nice to be... noticed.
You know, just to be adored a little.
Pat doesn't adore you?
Mm...
No, he does.
Just in his own way.
Well, I have to say, part of me is a little bit jealous.
I've got the imagination for adultery, just not the guts.
You know, I'm not sure it takes guts so much.
It's more like fear.
You need to be careful.
(ULTRASOUND WHIRRING)
Everything looks normal. Fine.
- I'd even say perfect, with the baby. - (ULTRASOUND STOPS)
What's that supposed to mean?
Well, we need to pay attention to your hypertension and stress.
- That can affect the fetus. - (SIGHS)
- (BEEPING) - You can sit up now.
So, how's everything at home? Everything okay? Things good?
Everything's like home at home.
Raising one child, getting ready to have another.
(PHONE RINGING)
Betty, he's just looking after us.
Sometimes, it feels like I'm not doing right.
Not being right.
("I'M HOOKED ON YOU" BY AL GREEN PLAYING)
♪ Since ♪
♪ I met you, baby ♪
♪ You, baby ♪
♪ My life ♪
- _ - ♪ My life has cha-a-anged ♪
CANDY (SINGING ALONG): ♪ It's all in my heart... ♪
♪ I'm hooked on you, baby ♪
♪ It can't fall apart ♪
♪ I'm hooked on you, baby ♪
♪ I've been loving you ♪
♪ You know it's true, and I'm... ♪
♪ I'm hooked on you ♪
♪ Hooked on you ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Oh... ♪
(SONG FADES)
ALLAN: This may be the best cookie I've ever eaten.
It's so moist.
CANDY: The trick is to take 'em out early.
I got the idea to just cook 'em for only half
what the recipe calls for, and voilà.
That's French for "perfect."
So, half-baked?
The cookie is, not my idea.
(ALLAN LAUGHS)
Tell me something about you that nobody else knows.
I'm not sure there is anything.
Oh, come on.
Something that you wouldn't want other people to know,
but you would like me to know.
- I don't think there is anything. - Oh,
there must be something about maybe something that...
you're especially proud of or ashamed.
♪ ♪
Okay. This is something I am proud of, but...
- ashamed to admit I'm proud of. - Oh, I love that already.
In high school, uh, I was the Kansas State Grand Champion
in the wheat competition.
- The wheat competition. Yeah. - The wheat competition?
Y-You sort through all the stalks with tweezers,
you pick out the best stuff, and, uh...
I can tell you're trying not to giggle.
I'm not.
Bob Dole... presented me with th-the silver tray,
which is the highest award.
You can... You can laugh.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
CANDY: So sorry!
(GASPING)
Wow...
I've been thinking about... something a lot,
and I'm trying to wrap my head around it.
What?
Betty having an affair.
It just seems so unlike her.
I know.
♪ ♪
I was getting ready to leave on a six-week business trip.
She kind of went to pieces.
We were living near the state college,
and, one night, she went home with one of the students.
- How'd you find out? - She confessed.
Almost right away. I didn't even suspect anything.
She just broke down in tears and, uh...
blurted it out.
Part of me thinks...
she came clean out of guilt.
- Another part... - Another part what?
I think maybe she meant to punish me for traveling.
And the reason she told me.
It was calculated to control... my behavior.
That must've hurt you a lot.
It did, but...
I have another question for you, and it's kind of important.
ALLAN: Okay...
(SIGHS)
Do you like roller coasters?
(LAUGHS)
(SCREAMING)
("PALISADES PARK" BY FREDDY CANNON PLAYING)
♪ Last night, I took a walk after dark ♪
♪ A swinging place called Palisades Park ♪
♪ To have some fun and see what I could see ♪
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God! - (SCREAMING)
♪ I took a ride on a shoot-the-chute ♪
♪ That girl I sat beside was awful cute ♪
♪ After we stopped, she was holdin' hands with me ♪
♪ My heart was flyin' up ♪
♪ Like a rocket ship ♪
♪ Down like a roller coaster ♪
♪ Back like a loop-de-loop ♪
♪ And round like a merry-go-round ♪
♪ We ate and ate at a hot dog stand ♪
♪ We danced around to a rockin' band ♪
- (RING CLATTERS) - (LAUGHING)
- (RING CLATTERS) - (CHEERING)
♪ You'll never know how great a kiss can feel ♪
♪ When you stop at the top of a Ferris wheel ♪
♪ When I feel in love down at Palisades Park ♪
- BETTY: (GASPS) Oh! - (OOHING AND AAHING)
- It's so cute. Will you look at that? - (GIGGLING)
Oh, that is so darling! Aw!
Thank you so much, Candy. It's precious.
Well, you can always exchange
- if you don't like the color. - (GASPS) What? No. I love it.
I love it.
- My heart. - SHERRY: It looks so cute.
ELAINE: I cannot wait to meet her.
(LAUGHS)
- Okay. All right. - CANDY: Okay. Next one's from Sherry.
Here we go, thank you...
- (BED CREAKING) - (HEAVY BREATHING)
(MOANING)
Oh, God! Oh, God!
"Oh, God.
"Our help in ages past.
Our hope for years to come."
The choir sings those words.
- All of you... - (PARISHIONER COUGHS)
sing those words.
But, what do they mean? Let us think about that.
(WRAPPER CRINKLING)
RON: Well, God has helped us...
- (WHISPERS): From Pat. - RON: ... and those before us,
for ages past.
And He is our hope, is He not?
God, He's our... our hope.
- Our wonderful and eternal... - (BETTY CLEARS THROAT)
Hm...
RON: Uh, anyway, it continues.
Our shelter from the stormy blast...
I didn't expect him to be good,
just not that terrible.
Betty wants to leave the church.
- What? - She's that put off.
What, and do what? Just go back to Wylie?
I don't know.
It's like she's channeling everything wrong with the world
and just making him to blame.
Listen, as we get closer to the day,
I'll have to stay close to home more.
The last thing I want is to be here when she goes into labor.
So just for the next few weeks.
Of course.
You know, if she did go into labor,
and she couldn't get ahold of me,
she'd call you.
Well, and I would be there in a flash.
I know you would. She knows it.
'Cause you're a good friend.
You okay?
(SIGHS)
I'm gettin' in too deep.
- What do you mean? - (SIGHS)
I don't want to fall in love with you.
I don't... wanna have to deal with myself if we go too far.
I just... I think about you too much.
You don't find yourself thinking...
too much about me?
Well, I think about you all the time.
It's gettin' too serious.
Well...
we just won't let it.
Okay?
(PLAYING "SPANISH FLEA" BY HERB ALPERT ON TRUMPET)
Kids! Dinner!
Mamma mia! That's a spicy meatball-a!
Sweetie, can you please go find your sister
- and tell her we're about to eat? - (TRUMPET STOPS)
- Mamma mia! - (LAUGHS)
- That boy watches too much television. - (BLOWING)
Hey, Pat! What did we say about spit valves at the dinner table?
Hey, Jenny! Ian! Come on, let's go!
Hey, did I tell you that the Gores were thinking
about leaving the church?
What? Why?
Betty cannot stand the new minister.
And, honestly, I don't think she's being very fair.
Not everyone can be as earthy and warm as Jackie.
Well, he did tell me no more puppets.
Excuse me?
Put the kibosh on it.
He said no more puppets during children's sermons.
(HEAVY SIGH)
I know.
(QUIET CHATTER)
BETTY: I've been telling you from the start,
the man is cold and unfeeling.
And he treats his wife like property.
- Have y'all noticed that? - All right, all right.
Why do you keep defending him, Candy?
Because I promised Jackie I would, truth be told.
(SIGHS, GASPS)
And the way he snorts at us sometimes.
(SNORTING)
That we can't hold against him.
He evidently had sinus cancer as a child.
What?
Oh, I just want Jackie back.
Oh, we all do, honey. We all do. We all do.
- Sorry, I'm a little late. - (BETTY SIGHS)
Shall we, uh, get started?
- Let's start with the services. - RON: Excuse me?
- They're boring. - Betty...
And cold! And why?
Why would you ban Pat's puppets?
(SCOFFS) I did not ban them.
I just said no more Peter Rabbit as Jesus.
BETTY: A little spontaneity might be a good thing.
Sometimes, I think you mistake this for a social club.
- BETTY: Mm-mmm. - This is a church, Betty.
- Doesn't have to be a dull one. - DON: Betty.
Transitions do call for some patience.
I'm not a patient, Don. Please don't treat me as one.
- (DOG BARKING OUTSIDE) - (CAR DRIVING BY)
What is going on with her?
It's the stress from the pregnancy.
Well, she got a little Joan Crawford.
Once she has the baby,
the light will come back on, and she'll be okay.
Allan... No, never mind.
What?
Oh, it's just what I said before. I...
I don't know if I can handle the way I'm feeling about you.
And I-I know that we said that...
that falling in love was against the rules,
but that's what's happening.
I'm falling in love with you.
And I get scared for me, and I worry about Pat.
I mean, this... would be too hard on him.
And...
I don't want to lose our friendship.
I... I just don't want anybody to get hurt.
ALLAN: I don't want this to get outta hand
any more than you do, Candy.
But, honestly...
you and me...
it's helped me and Betty somehow.
How so?
I just feel... better.
I think it's because I have you.
We said that if we started to get too emotionally involved,
that it... it's over.
That was our first rule.
(CANDY QUIETLY MURMURING)
- (ORGAN PLAYING) - CHOIR (SINGING): ♪ Joyful, joyful ♪
♪ We adore Thee ♪
♪ God of glory, Lord of love ♪
- ♪ Hearts unfold like flowers before Thee ♪ - (BETTY SCREAMING)
DOCTOR: I can see the head.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
♪ Opening to the sun above ♪
♪ Melt the clouds... ♪
- ♪ Of sin and sadness ♪ - (BETTY SCREAMING)
- ♪ Drive the dark of doubt away ♪ - DOCTOR: You have a beautiful girl.
(BABY CRYING)
She's 100% perfect.
- ♪ Giver of immortal gladness ♪ - (BABY CONTINUES CRYING)
♪ Fill us with the light of day ♪
♪ Joyful, joyful, we adore Thee ♪
♪ God of glory, Lord of love ♪
♪ Hearts unfold like flowers ♪
♪ Before thee, opening to the sun above ♪
♪ Melt the clouds of sin and sadness ♪
♪ Drive the dark of doubt away ♪
♪ Giver of immortal gladness ♪
♪ Fill us with the light of day ♪
♪ Thou our Father ♪ ♪ Christ our Brother ♪
♪ All who live in love are Thine ♪
♪ Teach us how to love each other ♪
- _ - ♪ Lift us to the joy divine ♪
- (SINGING ENDS) - (PARTY CHATTER, LAUGHTER)
- (BABY COOING) - She is so precious.
- I just... I can't speak. - Thank you.
- (BARKING) - Ah, ah, ah, no.
- Princess... - (GIGGLING)
Honey, think we might need to get Princess a new playmate.
- A puppy? - JENNY: I want a puppy!
Me too!
(BETTY GIGGLING)
She is so adorable. Can I hold her?
- Of course! Mm. - (BABY COOING)
- All right. (GASPS) - CANDY: Oh...
Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Is there anything like a newborn?
(QUIETLY): I don't think so.
You know, Bethany really is the most beautiful little thing.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, Betty seems good.
Bright, even.
Well, she's doing better. She's doing better.
You know, in spurts. She still has her bouts... but, uh...
(BARKING)
We're, uh, we're headed to Kansas in a few days
to introduce Bethany to the grandparents.
- So, uh, you know, next week... - Oh, yeah. Got it. Yeah.
But we return that following Thursday.
So, maybe... maybe that Friday.
Friday it is. I'll get a sitter.
- Great. - Okay.
(PARTY CHATTER CONTINUES)
(INAUDIBLE)
Well. (SIGHS)
♪ ♪
- ALLAN: Hi! - GRANDPA: Hey! You made it!
(EXCITED CHATTER)
- Hi, baby. Aw. - (LAUGHS)
- How you doin', sir? - Good to see you.
GRANDMA: Oh, I'm so excited to see you, little one.
Hello!
(SPLASHING)
(KIDS LAUGHING, YELLING)
(PLAYFUL CHATTER CONTINUES)
(STREET CHATTER)
♪ ♪
- (QUIET READING) - (DOG SNIFFING)
Mr. Mustard had just gone to bed when his doorbell rang...
(BABY COOING)
(HEAVY BREATHING)
(CANDY AND ALLAN MOANING)
(PANTING)
♪ ♪
(INSECTS CHIRPING)
PAT: Hey.
They are really loud tonight, huh?
Yeah.
Do you ever wonder what they all say to each other?
Lord knows, but they certainly sound chipper.
What?
Nothing.
♪ ♪
Why the look?
Just looking at you and...
looking and thinking.
About what?
Sometimes, I-I forget how pretty you are.
Oh...
Pat...
(PAT LAUGHS SOFTLY)
- (INSECTS CHIRPING) - (CLOCK TICKING)
(KISSING)
(KISS)
I'm sorry, honey.
I'm sorry. I'm just...
Just really tired tonight.
(GASPS) Don't touch me.
Hey, honey...
You think I don't know...
that you're not attracted to me anymore?
That you don't wanna touch me,
- don't wanna touch me? - ALLAN: That's... that's not f-fair.
That's not true.
You wanna have a discussion about fair, Allan?
Why don't you start?
ALLAN: She just kept saying, "You don't love me anymore.
You don't love me anymore."
CANDY: Well, you did reassure her, right?
ALLAN: Yes.
But she's convinced that I'm not a-attracted to her
because she's fat after having a baby.
Are you attracted to her?
Of course.
I was just spent.
My tank was empty because I'd been with you all day.
The thing is, she never initiates.
We haven't had sex since...
before Bethany was born, so for her to make a move
and to be rebuffed just...
What are you gonna do?
Candy, I think we should end it.
Us end it?
Us? No! What?
(LAUGHS) No! No.
- Okay. Shh. - No, but now, you're being unfair!
- I'm not... Okay, shh. - It's not... Do not...
No! (BANGS TABLE) Hey! Do not shh me!
You cannot just squelch another person and their emotions.
- I... - Do not shh me ever.
(CANDY SCOFFS)
♪ ♪
I'm hurting Betty, Candy.
This affair is affecting my marriage now.
You can't perform with Betty one time
and, suddenly, you wanna end it?
I'm not saying that we should definitely end it.
- I-I'm just... - Th-Then what are you saying?
Just that we should think about it.
I don't wanna hurt her, or Pat.
Uh-uh. No. Well, 'cause he's...
he's just the best singer in the choir. (SCOFFS)
We've become too close.
And I'm afraid that I mi...
might not love her anymore.
♪ ♪
And I can't let that happen.
We've both been using each other
to fill the gaps in our marriages,
and that's not right.
Right?
Let's just slow it down some.
(WIND BLOWING, RUSTLING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(MOOING)
♪ ♪
RON: Thank you all for being here today
for the groundbreaking of our wonderful new sanctuary.
Now, uh, it's my honor to cut this ribbon.
(SHUTTER SNAPS)
- (SNIPS) - (APPLAUSE) _
(APPLAUSE FADES OUT)
(INAUDIBLE)
_
(PHONE RINGING)
(CLICK, VACUUM STOPS)
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello?
- ALLAN (ON PHONE): Hey. - Oh, hey, stranger.
- ALLAN: How you doin'? - Yeah, I'm good.
I'm good. Yeah. You?
ALLAN: Pretty good.
- (PHONE RINGING) - Except for missing
a few of those special lunches.
Yeah. Me, too.
How's Betty?
Oh...
You know.
Not too good, actually.
After that night when I didn't respond,
she sort of went into a hole and hasn't come out of it.
So, h-how are you doing?
Okay. Okay.
I'm taking a new job.
- ECS Telecommunication. - Oh.
I-I thought that you liked working at Rockwell.
Yeah. It's just if I want to advance at the company,
that would mean more travel,
which, you know, isn't an option for Betty.
Nope.
(SIGHS)
Why don't we get lunch and talk face-to-face?
(DEEP SIGH)
I'm not saying I want us to end, Candy. I don't.
But I need...
I need for me and Betty to get better.
Stronger.
You said that being with me helped.
Helped me, yes.
But not me and her. Certainly not her.
Is she feeling any better?
She wants to go to Marriage Encounter now.
Really?
I think it'd do us some good.
The next one is in October.
What?
Marriage Encounter will be the end of us.
Let's just see what happens.
Candy, let's just see what happens.
(SIGHS)
I really hate to ask you this right now.
But...
it takes place over a weekend,
and Betty was wondering,
as was I, if you and Pat could possibly take the kids.
Alisa loves you,
and, uh, Betty won't trust anyone else with Bethany.
It would just... It would be...
Sure.
I'd be glad to.
♪ ♪
_
(QUIET CHATTER)
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
(CUTS ENGINE)
You never mentioned a castle.
I did not know, honey.
- (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) - (LUGGAGE CART RATTLING)
Oh, I really don't know about this.
Well, let's hope the food's good at least.
SPEAKER: Spouses are expected to be at each other's sides
at all times.
I should add at the side of your own spouse.
(SOFT LAUGHTER)
Sometimes, we get couples from California,
- so I always make sure. - (LAUGHTER)
Televisions are not to be turned on in the rooms.
Not even a little.
No phones, no newspapers.
Nothing to get in the way
of couples communicating about their feelings.
I will take the opportunity right now
to propose your first Marriage Encounter question,
which you will each endeavor to answer
in your individual Marriage Encounter notebooks.
You'll find these in your room.
The question is as follows.
Why did I come here this weekend,
and what do I hope to gain?
♪ ♪
It says, in very bold letters,
that once we finish,
we're to exchange notebooks with a kiss.
Then read each other's answers and discuss
how it makes us feel.
(BOTH LAUGH SOFTLY)
♪ ♪
SHERRY: It's killing you, isn't it?
I'm happy for them. I'm glad for Allan.
- SHERRY: It's killing you. - (TRAIN HORN BLASTS)
Well, it bugs me that he's in some hotel room with her,
gettin' all gooey with her.
You know, I made him a better lover.
He didn't even know how to French kiss.
I practically trained him.
And it seems like Bad Mood Betty gets all the benefit
while (LAUGHS) I'm babysitting her kids.
- Really? (SIGHS) - SHERRY: You're the one who said
he was fall-in-love-proof.
I got an idea.
Why don't we go out tonight?
- Oh... - There's a new club just opened up,
and everybody's saying how fun it is.
I-I have to babysit the kids.
Oh, come on! Pat can watch 'em.
Couple of hours, girls' night out.
- It'll be fun. - Hm...
You know, sometimes the best path to happiness is just to feign it.
Just to give in to the illusion of it.
Well, I thought that's what I was doing with Allan.
Didn't even know how to French kiss.
We're goin'.
ALLAN: "It's hard for me to talk about sex, too.
"Sometimes, it's so hard to feel calm and quiet
"as you need to be to enjoy sex.
"I guess the relaxation part is the hardest part for me.
"That's why, in Switzerland,
"a little, or a lot, of wine helped.
It relaxed me so I could really be free to enjoy it all."
(SIGHS)
"Does this mean I'm not comfortable with sex.
"if I need wine to make love more pleasant?
I don't know."
(ALLAN SIGHS)
How does that make you feel?
Well, I feel... more aware with your insecurities.
Well, I'm not sure that awareness is a feeling.
There's no rule about what constitutes a feeling.
Yes, it's in those workbooks that they gave us.
It's not about what you think.
It's about how you emotionally respond.
Being aware of my insecurity over sex is not a feeling.
W-We're not supposed to judge each other's reactions.
- It-It says that. - I've said several things
specifically about sex...
(SIGHS)
and you haven't really responded. At all.
And I think I know... why, Allan.
♪ ♪
You don't desire me.
- That is not true. - No, you never touch me, and you...
Because y-you send the message, "Don't touch me."
The core principle...
(SIGHS) of this Encounter is honesty.
Are you... sexually attracted to me, Allan?
I promise you I am.
(SIGHS)
- I am. Hey. - (SNIFFLES)
What... (SIGHS)
I've been so worried and scared (SNIFFLES) that you don't want me.
That you don't desire me.
That maybe you don't even... love me anymore.
Well, that's not true. I do. I love you.
Betty. I desire you.
Uh, uh, uh, we're here because I desire you.
Because I miss you.
(SNIFFLES)
(LOUD SIGH)
I'd like to fornicate.
("STAYIN' ALIVE" BY THE BEE GEES PLAYING)
(LAUGHS)
I'd like to. (SNIFFLES)
♪ Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk ♪
♪ I'm a woman's man, no time to talk ♪
♪ Music loud and women warm ♪
♪ I've been kicked around since I was born ♪
♪ And now, it's all right, it's okay ♪
♪ You may look the other way ♪
♪ We can try to understand ♪
♪ The New York Times' effect on man ♪
♪ Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother ♪
♪ You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive ♪
♪ Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin' ♪
♪ And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive ♪
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
♪ Stayin' alive, stayin' alive ♪
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
♪ Stayin' alive... ♪
(HEAVY BREATHING)
♪ Oh, when you walk ♪
♪ Well, now, I get low and I get high ♪
♪ And if I can't get either, I really try ♪
♪ Got the wings of Heaven on my shoes ♪
♪ I'm a dancin' man, and I just can't lose ♪
PREACHER: Body of Christ, given for you.
ALLAN: I realized that what I was feeling
was not "I don't like you,"
but more like "I don't feel excited about you
because I'm too used to the way things are."
Body of Christ, given for you.
ALLAN: I want to share a lot more of your feelings,
and I want to be able to share mine with you.
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
♪ Stayin' alive, stayin' alive ♪
BETTY: When I think of your being gone more,
I remember those times with dread.
PREACHER: Blood of Christ, shed for you.
BETTY: The aloneness.
Blood of Christ, shed for you.
BETTY: I never really felt fear for my safety at home alone,
but the feeling of being alone...
is the worst possible one to have.
It's like you're in a dark tunnel,
and you've got a long ways to go to the light.
The light isn't there till you're home again, safe and sound.
And sometimes, the times you are gone
made the tunnel very long.
ALLAN: In the name of God,
I, Allan, take you, Betty, to be my wife.
OFFICIANT: To have and to hold, from this day forward.
ALLAN: To have and to hold, from this day forward.
For better or worse, richer or poorer.
ALLAN: For better or worse, richer or poorer.
BETTY: For better or worse, richer or poorer.
OFFICIANT: To love and to cherish.
BETTY: To love and cherish.
OFFICIANT: Until we are parted by death.
Until we are parted by death.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
- This is my solemn vow. - This is my solemn vow.
OFFICIANT: By the power vested in me
by Jesus Christ, our Lord,
it is my sincere pleasure
to re-pronounce you both as man and wife.
(APPLAUSE)
♪ ♪
- (BIRDS CHIRPING) - (KIDS PLAYING, CHATTERING)
(PAT CHATTERING)
- (HORSESHOE CLANGS) - (CANDY LAUGHING)
- (MURMURING) - (CAR HONKS)
- BETTY: Hi! - ALLAN: Hey!
Hi!
- (CAR STOPS, DOORS OPEN) - BETTY: Hi! (GIGGLES)
- ALLAN: Hey, sweetie. - Hi.
- You have fun? - ALISA: Yeah.
- ALLAN: You did? - ALISA: Yeah.
- PAT: Hey. - BETTY: How was it?
Great.
- Pat, thanks again. - Hey, Allan!
Yeah, of course. Any time.
ALLAN: Hey.
♪ ♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (LAUGHTER) - BETTY: Oh!
There's my little angel!
How'd she do?
Oh, she was perfect. Like little angels are.
(GIGGLES)
Hi.
- Here you go. - (BETTY GASPS)
- Thank you. - (BABY COOING)
Thank you so much for taking them.
I am beyond grateful.
Oh, are you kidding me? I love having them.
Especially since Jenny is sweeter when Alisa comes over.
(BOTH LAUGH)
BETTY: I missed you, my little girl.
So, how was it?
(GASPS)
It was amazing.
- Yeah? - It was really great.
- Great. - (SIGHS)
I was skeptical. I really was.
But, honest to God, it was the best thing.
You and Pat, you should... you should think about it.
- N-Not that you need it or anything. - ALLAN: All right. All set, honey.
- (CANDY LAUGHS) - All right. Here I come.
- Thank you again so much. - CANDY: Any time.
Any time.
(BETTY GIGGLING)
- Whoop! (GIGGLES) - PAT: Careful.
- Got it? - Hey.
So, it was good, Betty says.
Better than I... could have imagined.
I'm glad to hear it.
- I'll call you. - Yep.
Bye!
(DOOR OPENS)
All right. That should do it.
- Bye! - (DOOR SHUTS)
Bye!
- Bye! - Thanks again, guys.
- Bye-bye! - PAT: Yeah.
(DOOR SHUTS)
- ALLAN: Thank you for... - BETTY: Bye-bye!
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
- Bye! - PAT: Bye, guys.
(ENGINE REVVING)
- (CAR DEPARTING) - (DOG BARKING)
♪ ♪
(SIGHS)
(SQUEAKING, GRINDING)
(GRINDING GROWS LOUDER)
("PIECE OF MY HEART" BY JANIS JOPLIN PLAYING)
(CONTINUES GRINDING)
♪ Well, come on, come on ♪
♪ Come on, come on ♪
♪ And take it ♪
♪ Take another little piece of my heart now, baby ♪
♪ Oh, oh, break it ♪
♪ Break another little piece of my heart now, darling, yeah ♪
♪ Oh, oh, have a ♪
♪ Have another little piece of my heart now, baby ♪
♪ Well, you know you got it ♪
♪ Wah! Take it ♪
♪ Take another little piece of my heart now, baby ♪
♪ Oh, oh, break it ♪
♪ Break another little piece of my heart now, darling ♪
♪ Oh, oh, have a ♪
♪ Have another little piece of my heart now, baby ♪
♪ You know you got it, child ♪
♪ If it makes you feel good ♪
♪ ♪