1 00:00:00,956 --> 00:00:02,649 Transcript & Synchro : [dx] 2 00:00:02,661 --> 00:00:04,319 Transcript & Synchro : loky 3 00:00:50,502 --> 00:00:53,454 Season 3 Episode 1 - Doing The Backstroke - 4 00:00:53,611 --> 00:00:56,345 [ www.seriessub.com ] 5 00:00:57,819 --> 00:00:59,426 Previously on Weeds 6 00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,497 Our stash is worth about 300 G, 7 00:01:01,678 --> 00:01:03,286 but the market is making a bull one so, 8 00:01:03,386 --> 00:01:05,127 we sit on a half a million easy. 9 00:01:07,089 --> 00:01:09,482 I'm having an affair with the dawg. 10 00:01:09,662 --> 00:01:11,502 Doug Wilson? Wife fucker. 11 00:01:13,618 --> 00:01:15,424 It's my kid's graduation, I can't do this. 12 00:01:15,524 --> 00:01:17,850 You have failed us all! 13 00:01:17,950 --> 00:01:20,635 There's some fucking lowlife stole two of them already. 14 00:01:20,735 --> 00:01:23,068 - The cameras? - And the "drug free zone" signs, 15 00:01:23,168 --> 00:01:26,302 and the sasquatch costume. Son of a bitch. 16 00:01:26,643 --> 00:01:28,353 - Hi Kat. - Hi. 17 00:01:28,646 --> 00:01:31,544 Abum Chuck, he's just this bounty hunter. 18 00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:33,628 I did something illegal. 19 00:01:33,731 --> 00:01:36,274 - It's now or never, come with me. - I'm not coming with you. 20 00:01:37,063 --> 00:01:39,314 - Thanks for keeping me company. - Where are we going? 21 00:01:39,414 --> 00:01:41,221 - Where do you wanna go? - Pittsburgh! 22 00:01:42,181 --> 00:01:44,917 - Step out Geronimo! - You watch that shit man. 23 00:01:45,031 --> 00:01:47,753 You've been ... fucking him the whole time you were married to me? 24 00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:49,183 It's just business between us. 25 00:01:49,314 --> 00:01:50,453 It always has been. 26 00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:52,260 Take your last harvest, 27 00:01:52,381 --> 00:01:54,782 make a quick deal and then handle all the cash over to me. 28 00:01:54,885 --> 00:01:55,889 Why are you doing this? 29 00:01:55,998 --> 00:01:57,749 Because I let everything at line for you, 30 00:01:58,636 --> 00:01:59,679 and you fucked me. 31 00:01:59,809 --> 00:02:02,235 I'm looking to sell about 30 pounds of sexy mom. 32 00:02:02,365 --> 00:02:04,140 - Are you in? - Yeah, I'll take it. 33 00:02:05,117 --> 00:02:06,117 What the fuck? 34 00:02:06,217 --> 00:02:08,097 Give us the drugs and we'll let you live. 35 00:02:08,219 --> 00:02:09,586 Kachichian says goodbye. 36 00:02:09,716 --> 00:02:11,914 - Where's the money? - Ain't no money fool! 37 00:02:12,386 --> 00:02:14,111 - Wait ... - Where is my money? 38 00:02:14,225 --> 00:02:16,558 - I kill agent asshole, you pay us. - He's dead? 39 00:02:16,688 --> 00:02:18,854 Ain't no money cuz they decided to jack us. 40 00:02:19,174 --> 00:02:21,170 We kill each other then nobody gets nothing! 41 00:02:21,277 --> 00:02:22,831 - He's dead? - YES! 42 00:02:23,775 --> 00:02:27,828 Open the fucking safe! 43 00:02:27,928 --> 00:02:31,020 Sorry there's a lot of... data flying around. 44 00:02:32,958 --> 00:02:34,651 Oh not today. 45 00:02:35,759 --> 00:02:36,957 Hi Nancy! 46 00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:39,463 Did you take something that doesn't belong to you? 47 00:02:39,563 --> 00:02:40,579 I want in. 48 00:02:41,864 --> 00:02:43,702 - That's him. - Shit ... 49 00:02:43,802 --> 00:02:44,941 Bitch you're about to die. 50 00:03:10,132 --> 00:03:11,913 Hey, I don't know about this, I mean... 51 00:03:12,382 --> 00:03:14,226 God knows what they've done with the inside, 52 00:03:14,326 --> 00:03:17,134 it might upset you, your mother kept that place so clean. 53 00:03:18,286 --> 00:03:21,080 It's used to be all flowers, and nice lawns... 54 00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:23,926 - Can we go to CityWalk now? - ... nice families... 55 00:03:24,336 --> 00:03:26,876 - And now, look at this. - I got to go pee. 56 00:03:26,978 --> 00:03:30,320 - Oh, she's gotta go pee. - I'm gonna pee in my pants. 57 00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:32,007 You hold it! There it is. 58 00:03:32,157 --> 00:03:34,311 Well, I'm gonna ask her if she can pee in the house. 59 00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,308 Hello? 60 00:03:37,427 --> 00:03:39,268 - Can hold it! - Ally. 61 00:03:39,473 --> 00:03:40,530 Ally! 62 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:43,488 Oh look, they haven't changed the wallpaper. 63 00:03:43,693 --> 00:03:45,091 Hello? 64 00:03:45,841 --> 00:03:47,750 I'm Dawn Tremigliosi. 65 00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:50,887 I used to live here where I was a little girl, hello? 66 00:03:51,671 --> 00:03:54,296 We're visiting, from Scottsdale. 67 00:03:54,790 --> 00:03:56,239 Mommy?! 68 00:03:56,580 --> 00:03:57,943 I think she had an accident. 69 00:04:07,233 --> 00:04:10,165 - Sorry about this, we were just, uh... - You used to live here? 70 00:04:11,529 --> 00:04:12,534 My wife did. 71 00:04:12,654 --> 00:04:15,023 Dawn Tremigliosi, from Scottsdale. 72 00:04:15,679 --> 00:04:17,708 Yeah, I got a cousin in Scottsdale. 73 00:04:18,065 --> 00:04:19,769 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 74 00:04:19,957 --> 00:04:21,866 You know a dude named Cold Blood? 75 00:04:21,985 --> 00:04:24,201 About 6.5, 320, 76 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:25,957 big scar across his throat, 77 00:04:26,207 --> 00:04:27,861 Maybe I can hook you up. 78 00:04:28,236 --> 00:04:30,128 You can go get nachos together. 79 00:04:31,441 --> 00:04:32,924 You know, hon', it's uh... 80 00:04:33,571 --> 00:04:34,611 too bad. 81 00:04:35,105 --> 00:04:37,713 No one was home when we went to your old place 82 00:04:38,157 --> 00:04:39,520 and we just had to... 83 00:04:39,861 --> 00:04:42,350 drive away without going in at all. 84 00:04:43,091 --> 00:04:44,165 What? 85 00:04:45,630 --> 00:04:47,454 Oh, right, we... 86 00:04:47,795 --> 00:04:50,914 - We went straight to CityWalk. - They got bowling at CityWalk. 87 00:04:51,179 --> 00:04:53,309 And that's what we're doing... Right now. 88 00:04:53,497 --> 00:04:55,389 We're bowling, okay? 89 00:04:56,812 --> 00:04:58,159 I got kids here. 90 00:05:02,182 --> 00:05:04,517 Y'all going to hit that reset button. 91 00:05:05,507 --> 00:05:06,887 Let's go, let's go. 92 00:05:07,194 --> 00:05:09,802 Go, go, go, go, go, now, quick, move, c'mon! 93 00:05:09,921 --> 00:05:11,882 - Bye! - Bye. 94 00:05:15,342 --> 00:05:17,439 Can we all talk without the guns, please? 95 00:05:17,541 --> 00:05:20,405 - My arms are getting tired. - So, rest in, by all means. 96 00:05:20,559 --> 00:05:22,247 Marvin, if you put that gun down, 97 00:05:22,347 --> 00:05:24,581 I swear I shoot you myself, fat fuck. 98 00:05:25,553 --> 00:05:27,206 Can I just make one more call, 99 00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:29,201 in the service of finding our pot? 100 00:05:29,389 --> 00:05:30,622 Our pot! 101 00:05:30,785 --> 00:05:35,686 Fuck you! 102 00:05:35,850 --> 00:05:36,889 Hold off! 103 00:05:37,077 --> 00:05:38,491 Let's all just chill, alright? 104 00:05:38,594 --> 00:05:41,236 If she doesn't find the pot, ain't nobody gettin' shit! 105 00:05:41,526 --> 00:05:42,685 Well, that's not true. 106 00:05:42,992 --> 00:05:44,288 You'll be getting the bullets. 107 00:05:45,953 --> 00:05:48,032 Nancy, make your call. 108 00:05:56,510 --> 00:05:57,550 Shit. 109 00:05:58,062 --> 00:05:59,425 I can't get a signal. 110 00:06:02,835 --> 00:06:04,915 That's the little fucker who stole my cameras. 111 00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:06,296 Arrest him! 112 00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:07,693 I didn't do anything. 113 00:06:09,005 --> 00:06:10,794 I have you on tape. 114 00:06:10,965 --> 00:06:12,840 Like, I wouldn't make copies? 115 00:06:12,959 --> 00:06:14,067 I didn't do shit! 116 00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:17,859 - A lot of people look like me. - What are you waiting for? 117 00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:20,490 Search his car, hit him with your flashlight. 118 00:06:20,590 --> 00:06:22,847 - Do what you people do. - I did it. 119 00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:25,088 - See? - I stole her cameras, 120 00:06:25,193 --> 00:06:27,620 - they are at my house, let's just go. - Let's take him in. 121 00:06:27,722 --> 00:06:29,069 Ma'am, ma'am, 122 00:06:29,427 --> 00:06:32,393 I can't give you a ride, with a suspect in the back of the vehicle. 123 00:06:32,580 --> 00:06:35,239 - It's policy. - So, what am I supposed to do? 124 00:06:35,375 --> 00:06:36,773 Hike home? 125 00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,310 I'm in heels, here. 126 00:06:38,410 --> 00:06:40,558 I'm sorry Ma'am, I'm just doing what we do. 127 00:06:41,571 --> 00:06:43,088 Cute, right. 128 00:06:43,412 --> 00:06:45,117 Well, what's happening with his car? 129 00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:46,600 Yeah, hey, can I... 130 00:06:46,753 --> 00:06:49,850 Let me just lock it up really quick. I'll have my mum come and get it later. 131 00:06:49,957 --> 00:06:52,764 No, I'll have to call the impound. This is a restricted parking area. 132 00:06:52,884 --> 00:06:54,984 Okay, this is ridiculous. Silas, give me your keys. 133 00:06:55,084 --> 00:06:57,750 - I will drive your car home. - Absolutely not, no way. 134 00:06:57,854 --> 00:07:00,451 It's over 400 bucks to get your vehicle out of the impound. 135 00:07:00,584 --> 00:07:01,845 Now, give her the keys. 136 00:07:02,152 --> 00:07:03,413 It's my car. 137 00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:07,044 - Hey, what the hell, you can't do that. - Oh, yes he can. 138 00:07:07,312 --> 00:07:09,698 Because, you... have no rights. 139 00:07:10,260 --> 00:07:11,743 Teething little shit. 140 00:07:13,244 --> 00:07:14,300 Son, 141 00:07:14,415 --> 00:07:17,628 get in the back of my vehicle, right now, let's go, come on. 142 00:07:17,832 --> 00:07:20,167 Son, let's go. Come on. 143 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,131 I'm just trying to find some power bars , okay? 144 00:07:27,710 --> 00:07:29,193 Power bars, that can be right. 145 00:07:29,397 --> 00:07:30,863 What do you call these? 146 00:07:31,016 --> 00:07:32,653 Bars of reception? 147 00:07:32,788 --> 00:07:35,021 On my phone, I call this little pyramid. 148 00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:36,692 Kinda like your dick. 149 00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:39,752 Hey man, that's not cool. We don't even know these people. 150 00:07:39,852 --> 00:07:43,169 Oh, bars, bars, bars, got it. Here we go. Please, don't shoot me. 151 00:07:50,745 --> 00:07:54,870 Hi, Nancy. Surprise, it's me, Celia. 152 00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:57,223 Celia, I didn't... I didn't call you. 153 00:07:57,359 --> 00:07:59,626 No, you meant to call Silas, 154 00:07:59,728 --> 00:08:01,672 but, you know, he's not here right now. 155 00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:03,932 I had him arrested, 156 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,711 and he admitted taking my cameras. 157 00:08:07,052 --> 00:08:10,734 You can probably reach him at the Agrestic police station, 158 00:08:10,922 --> 00:08:12,677 if they're letting him take calls. 159 00:08:13,428 --> 00:08:16,581 And you know, Nanc', you're gonna have to reimburse me 160 00:08:16,683 --> 00:08:18,285 for gasoline, because 161 00:08:18,388 --> 00:08:23,307 your irresponsible adolescent has left me with an empty tank, hello? 162 00:08:23,949 --> 00:08:25,910 - We gotta go. - Like hell. 163 00:08:26,898 --> 00:08:29,796 Hello, Nancy? Rude. 164 00:08:30,222 --> 00:08:31,705 As usual. 165 00:08:31,962 --> 00:08:35,729 Where is the fucking gas pop up thing? 166 00:08:39,350 --> 00:08:40,440 Fuck it. 167 00:08:40,850 --> 00:08:41,975 Where're we going? 168 00:08:43,169 --> 00:08:44,311 I know where the pot is, 169 00:08:44,413 --> 00:08:47,549 and if you let us go get it, we'll bring it right back, I swear. 170 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:50,618 Guns on me. 171 00:08:51,725 --> 00:08:53,566 - I'm staying. - What? 172 00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:57,596 Because you wouldn't know that we're coming back, I got it. 173 00:09:07,985 --> 00:09:10,627 - Okay, Bassa will go with you. - Marvin, you're up. 174 00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:12,110 Gone. 175 00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:15,307 If you are not back with the brackley by dark, 176 00:09:15,407 --> 00:09:18,141 I'm shootin your boy here... in the nuts. 177 00:09:18,277 --> 00:09:21,039 And I will shoot him in the kneecap and the elbow. 178 00:09:21,243 --> 00:09:23,289 And so on, so you'd better get movin'. 179 00:09:31,844 --> 00:09:33,310 I forgot my purse, sorry. 180 00:09:33,412 --> 00:09:35,238 I'll be back soon, oh no, no shooting, okay. 181 00:09:39,589 --> 00:09:44,304 He's 12, brown hair, brown eyes, he's weraing a beige suit, blue shirt. 182 00:09:46,401 --> 00:09:47,849 If you find him, 183 00:09:48,003 --> 00:09:50,696 could you just call me? We had to sedate his mother. 184 00:09:51,498 --> 00:09:53,697 Yes, yes, very upsetting. 185 00:09:54,668 --> 00:09:57,481 You have my cell number? Thank you, thank you, bye. 186 00:09:58,494 --> 00:09:59,519 I'm telling you, man! 187 00:09:59,619 --> 00:10:02,016 After a lifetime of sardines and blobber, 188 00:10:02,578 --> 00:10:04,061 fast-food burrito, 189 00:10:04,385 --> 00:10:05,612 ain't gonna be kind to you. 190 00:10:05,919 --> 00:10:07,299 You call the fucking cops, do you? 191 00:10:09,243 --> 00:10:11,554 He's my nephew, I called in an AMBER alert. 192 00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:13,232 If the police find him first, 193 00:10:13,334 --> 00:10:14,766 and you fucked up my bounty, 194 00:10:14,970 --> 00:10:16,776 I'm wiping my ass with you. 195 00:10:26,479 --> 00:10:29,701 Hey this is the truck version of set me drift on a nice flower? 196 00:10:38,973 --> 00:10:41,002 Shane, this is Bear. 197 00:10:41,104 --> 00:10:43,167 We met over there by the candy machine. 198 00:10:43,363 --> 00:10:47,358 and he showed me that the lift of mini mint paddies was loose, look. 199 00:10:51,716 --> 00:10:52,722 That's yummy. 200 00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:54,733 So, listen little guy. 201 00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:59,846 I am going to hit the ride to South America with Bear. 202 00:10:59,994 --> 00:11:02,789 But, I'm gonna leave you the van, so you can go... 203 00:11:03,113 --> 00:11:06,113 home, or Pittsburgh, or wherever you wanna go, okay? 204 00:11:06,488 --> 00:11:08,653 - I'm 12 - I was driving at 8. 205 00:11:08,823 --> 00:11:10,425 Don't make him feel bad, Bear. 206 00:11:10,852 --> 00:11:12,795 Okay, after you finished your sandwich, 207 00:11:12,948 --> 00:11:15,050 go to the big parking lot, out back there. 208 00:11:15,220 --> 00:11:16,914 And practice driving around a little bit, 209 00:11:17,023 --> 00:11:18,287 until you feel confortable, 210 00:11:18,419 --> 00:11:20,533 I'm sure you'll get that thing very quickly. 211 00:11:20,772 --> 00:11:21,784 Can you show me how? 212 00:11:21,893 --> 00:11:23,611 I'm sorry, kid, I'm on a tight schedule. 213 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,987 Yeah, he's on a really tight schedule, and... 214 00:11:26,157 --> 00:11:28,697 you know, he's done me a favour, so... 215 00:11:28,884 --> 00:11:30,274 when he says "go", I gotta go. 216 00:11:30,374 --> 00:11:33,879 And I said "go" half an hour ago, so chop-chop tempus fugees. 217 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,620 Oh my God, you speak greek, how cute is that! 218 00:11:37,003 --> 00:11:39,562 It's latin, and the actual quotation is : 219 00:11:39,662 --> 00:11:42,349 "Fugit irreparabile tempus", 220 00:11:42,449 --> 00:11:45,740 which means irretrapable time is flying. 221 00:11:45,893 --> 00:11:47,717 Fuck me with the dictionary, kid. 222 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,489 Get beat up much. 223 00:11:49,635 --> 00:11:51,988 Okay, honey, honey. 224 00:11:52,976 --> 00:11:53,978 Sit down. 225 00:11:54,340 --> 00:11:56,249 I know this must be rough, 226 00:11:56,777 --> 00:11:59,845 but I think that you can use this as an opportunity 227 00:12:00,135 --> 00:12:03,544 to explore, and to grow, and to learn, 228 00:12:03,647 --> 00:12:07,569 you should always keep an up to date passport on your person at all times. 229 00:12:07,704 --> 00:12:10,567 So, here the keys of the thing, 230 00:12:10,841 --> 00:12:13,414 here's about $13 in change 231 00:12:13,516 --> 00:12:16,090 that I liberated from the tampon machine in the ladies room. 232 00:12:16,447 --> 00:12:19,771 I want you to have it, have amazing adventure, Shane. 233 00:12:19,959 --> 00:12:22,362 We'll meet again, I'll be older, 234 00:12:22,652 --> 00:12:24,016 but I'll still be hot. 235 00:12:24,272 --> 00:12:25,465 And you'll be older, 236 00:12:25,653 --> 00:12:30,630 and you'll still be the same, smart, wise, gentle soul you are now, 237 00:12:30,919 --> 00:12:32,061 but you'll be taller. 238 00:12:32,283 --> 00:12:33,718 And I think that you're gonna do 239 00:12:33,818 --> 00:12:36,349 some really interesting things with your facial hair. 240 00:12:36,613 --> 00:12:38,420 I just see it. 241 00:12:38,778 --> 00:12:42,136 Okay sweetie? Heart hug, heart hug. 242 00:12:42,630 --> 00:12:44,897 Okay? Be well. 243 00:12:45,221 --> 00:12:46,976 I think you're amazing. 244 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,483 Bye. 245 00:12:53,024 --> 00:12:54,880 This is a fucking police station! 246 00:12:55,205 --> 00:12:57,768 I told you there's a guy in there who knows where the pot is, 247 00:12:57,868 --> 00:13:00,351 I'm just gonna go talk to him and leave, okay? 248 00:13:00,962 --> 00:13:02,768 And who is this guy? He a cop or something? 249 00:13:03,013 --> 00:13:06,384 No he's a criminal, just like us, it's gonna be fine. 250 00:13:06,579 --> 00:13:08,223 You put any shit up in there, 251 00:13:08,484 --> 00:13:11,643 we kill you and we kill your boy Conrad, dig? 252 00:13:11,789 --> 00:13:13,833 Fully digging, completely dug. 253 00:13:13,933 --> 00:13:17,270 Ok, you and Conrad are like "together together" or just like what? 254 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,400 We are business partners, can I go in now? 255 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:20,886 You ain't done nothing? 256 00:13:21,407 --> 00:13:24,729 Come on, two fine looking people, all hormones and shit, 257 00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:26,406 working side by side. 258 00:13:28,506 --> 00:13:30,802 Okay fine, we kissed once. 259 00:13:32,293 --> 00:13:35,147 But I don't know we never really talked about it, now it's kinda weird 260 00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:37,860 there's this whole thing happening with you guys, so it's not... 261 00:13:37,966 --> 00:13:40,050 a great time for us to price our feelings. 262 00:13:40,217 --> 00:13:41,845 - So, no booty, huh? - No, not really. 263 00:13:44,271 --> 00:13:47,397 - What do you mean by "Hah"? - As in I bet U-Turn and I win. 264 00:13:47,771 --> 00:13:50,262 I know that pretty nigger never got to be in your business. 265 00:13:50,588 --> 00:13:52,347 - How do you know? - You just told me. 266 00:13:52,754 --> 00:13:55,679 I know that, how did you know before? 267 00:13:55,779 --> 00:13:57,256 - I just knew. - How? 268 00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:58,868 - I just did. - How? 269 00:14:02,646 --> 00:14:04,729 I've gotta go. This discussion is not over. 270 00:14:04,829 --> 00:14:06,699 Yeah it is, cuz I know this type of things, 271 00:14:06,799 --> 00:14:08,573 I'm like a deep dicker psychic. 272 00:14:08,785 --> 00:14:11,422 Leave the keys so we can listen to the radio. 273 00:14:21,248 --> 00:14:22,252 Jesus Christ, 274 00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:24,244 what do you want from me now? 275 00:14:24,439 --> 00:14:26,701 I can't believe you told Dana, how could you tell Dana? 276 00:14:26,897 --> 00:14:29,388 You fuck up my marriage, I fuck up yours, even. 277 00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:30,853 Even my ass, I love Dana. 278 00:14:31,033 --> 00:14:32,922 Then, what were you doing inside my wife? 279 00:14:33,036 --> 00:14:34,163 Your wife's enticing snatch 280 00:14:34,263 --> 00:14:36,703 has nothing to do with my deep and abiding love for my wife. 281 00:14:36,817 --> 00:14:38,334 So give me your car keys, I'm going after my woman. 282 00:14:38,434 --> 00:14:39,695 I drive a motorcycle. 283 00:14:39,858 --> 00:14:42,479 I'm not giving you a God damn thing you asshole. 284 00:14:42,593 --> 00:14:45,784 I was married to Celia for 17 fucking years, 285 00:14:45,947 --> 00:14:49,187 and you walked in and fucked everything up, litterally. 286 00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:54,426 I only wish I'd fucked your wife before I told her you cheated. 287 00:14:56,347 --> 00:14:58,122 Dana would never fuck you. 288 00:14:58,692 --> 00:15:00,580 Oh really, how do you know? 289 00:15:00,726 --> 00:15:02,420 She won't fuck anyone, 290 00:15:03,233 --> 00:15:05,838 something about a short cervix and how she might be a lesbian. 291 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,020 You have four kids... 292 00:15:08,167 --> 00:15:10,119 ...whose name could have been Tequila Shots, 293 00:15:10,219 --> 00:15:14,354 Knocking Her While She Was Sleeping, Doing It For a Lexus and Turkey Pasture. 294 00:15:14,550 --> 00:15:16,455 But she gets me, she thinks I'm funny, 295 00:15:16,555 --> 00:15:18,841 she buys my underwear, she puts new blades on my razors, 296 00:15:18,956 --> 00:15:21,632 she makes these amazing lamp shots and you told. 297 00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:24,626 The only thing that Dana hates more than sex is public embarrassment, 298 00:15:24,735 --> 00:15:26,110 she is never gonna forgive me. 299 00:15:26,566 --> 00:15:27,918 Homebraking fuck! 300 00:15:30,783 --> 00:15:32,216 My marriage is over. 301 00:15:32,509 --> 00:15:34,365 Yeah? Well welcome to the club. 302 00:15:35,472 --> 00:15:37,638 - Oh shit, I'm bleeding. - Good. 303 00:15:40,048 --> 00:15:41,155 Jesus... 304 00:15:42,246 --> 00:15:43,842 ...and Christ. 305 00:16:29,269 --> 00:16:31,434 You know, I dropped you on your head once. 306 00:16:34,121 --> 00:16:36,140 You were about 15 months old, 307 00:16:36,970 --> 00:16:39,176 we were playing this game where you'd climb up my legs 308 00:16:39,276 --> 00:16:42,747 and I'd flip you over and you'd land back on your feet, but this one time, 309 00:16:43,142 --> 00:16:45,601 you kept climbing up my body and you wouldn't flip, 310 00:16:46,350 --> 00:16:48,612 and I'm holding your hands and your little feeters 311 00:16:48,712 --> 00:16:50,633 feeling out my body and under my shoulders 312 00:16:50,958 --> 00:16:53,009 and I'm saying "Silas, stop". 313 00:16:53,449 --> 00:16:55,045 But you were laughing, 314 00:16:56,413 --> 00:16:58,269 you were completely upside down, 315 00:16:58,905 --> 00:17:00,696 your hurtsome shoe goes "wham", 316 00:17:00,874 --> 00:17:02,177 right into my eye, 317 00:17:03,708 --> 00:17:05,108 I let go, 318 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,453 with you head first 319 00:17:08,593 --> 00:17:09,960 into the hard wood. 320 00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:13,100 If Celia hadn't shown up, we'd be in business right now. 321 00:17:13,246 --> 00:17:15,379 How did you even get into the safe? 322 00:17:16,293 --> 00:17:19,110 The combination was your maiden name, you think that was turkey? 323 00:17:22,285 --> 00:17:23,376 You know what? 324 00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,688 I can't do this right now. 325 00:17:29,051 --> 00:17:31,902 I need to get my hands on what you took, 326 00:17:32,002 --> 00:17:35,846 and give it back to some people who'd do some very bad things if I don't. 327 00:17:35,946 --> 00:17:37,313 Am I being clear? 328 00:17:38,762 --> 00:17:40,944 - What bad things? - Silas! 329 00:17:41,107 --> 00:17:43,565 Where is the p... where is the dry-cleaning? 330 00:17:44,379 --> 00:17:48,416 I need every last bag of clothing or my boss is going to kill me, 331 00:17:48,516 --> 00:17:51,544 just shoot me dead. You got that? 332 00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:55,281 Dead! 333 00:17:56,795 --> 00:17:58,098 Where is it? 334 00:18:00,150 --> 00:18:01,860 It's all in the trunk of my car. 335 00:18:03,146 --> 00:18:04,514 - Your car? - Yes. 336 00:18:05,409 --> 00:18:07,671 Would that be the car Celia's driving-- 337 00:18:07,771 --> 00:18:09,348 - That would be it. - Jesus Christ. 338 00:18:09,448 --> 00:18:11,183 The cop took my keys and gave them to her, 339 00:18:11,297 --> 00:18:12,524 I couldn't do anything. 340 00:18:13,599 --> 00:18:15,504 Can't your husband help you out of this? 341 00:18:25,568 --> 00:18:26,622 Mom? 342 00:18:28,238 --> 00:18:29,411 Mom! 343 00:18:31,006 --> 00:18:32,081 I gotta go. 344 00:18:34,784 --> 00:18:36,998 - Are you taking me with you? - What? 345 00:18:37,258 --> 00:18:39,864 No, at least if you're here, I know where you are. 346 00:18:52,435 --> 00:18:54,910 - Hello Andy? - Hey Nanc', how is it going? 347 00:18:55,529 --> 00:18:57,918 Yeah, yeah, of course I got Shane, 348 00:18:58,018 --> 00:19:00,387 I think we gonna stay outing for a while, is that cool? 349 00:19:00,826 --> 00:19:02,764 Yeah? Great! 350 00:19:02,959 --> 00:19:06,476 Don't worry about thing, and he's having a blast, 351 00:19:06,605 --> 00:19:09,585 don't be such a motherhen, okay, we'll see you later, okay, bye. 352 00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:13,388 I've seen her, she stole mint paddies, are you gonna pay for those? 353 00:19:14,349 --> 00:19:17,589 The kid, was there a kid with her, that height, beige suit? 354 00:19:17,719 --> 00:19:19,020 Sure, the kid was here, 355 00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:21,397 he had a girl cheese special and paid all in quarters. 356 00:19:21,497 --> 00:19:23,190 He left a decent tip, tough. 357 00:19:23,304 --> 00:19:24,818 How long ago did the girl leave? 358 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,293 I don't know, about two hours, she left with Bear. 359 00:19:27,635 --> 00:19:30,370 - Huh? What does that mean? - Bear, he's a trucker. 360 00:19:30,598 --> 00:19:32,942 And the kid was with them, with the girl and Bear? 361 00:19:33,154 --> 00:19:35,896 They left and then the kid drove a blue van 362 00:19:35,996 --> 00:19:38,316 around the parking lot for an hour before taking off. 363 00:19:38,690 --> 00:19:41,133 He's a little young to be driving if you ask me but... 364 00:19:41,544 --> 00:19:45,078 all the preservatives people eat nowadays make them look younger so... 365 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,780 - who knows? - Oh man, common', we gotta jam. 366 00:19:48,374 --> 00:19:50,035 What kinda ride does Bear drives? 367 00:19:50,824 --> 00:19:52,419 Blue, like a cyrillian blue, 368 00:19:52,519 --> 00:19:55,186 but with sparkle in it, you sent me these same mud flaps. 369 00:19:55,286 --> 00:19:58,158 I know it's a cliché but... I think he's being ironic. 370 00:19:58,258 --> 00:20:01,456 Holy Ned, you're a giant redwood. Move, redwood! 371 00:20:02,205 --> 00:20:05,054 I'm not redwood. I'm not Yeti man, 372 00:20:05,169 --> 00:20:07,082 Master Mohawk, Chief Wiggum, 373 00:20:07,196 --> 00:20:09,157 Eskimo Pie, Grapewine North 374 00:20:09,257 --> 00:20:10,696 or Orchidean Redskin, 375 00:20:10,851 --> 00:20:14,301 and I'm not your Snow Nigger, your rude piece of shit, 376 00:20:14,401 --> 00:20:16,191 I'm fucking through with you. 377 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,233 Common', I called you Snow Niggah, 378 00:20:23,379 --> 00:20:26,831 with an "A", geew Nanouk, you're so sensitive. 379 00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:38,424 You don't even know if the bitch's coming back, 380 00:20:38,524 --> 00:20:40,868 I got a hundred G's cash out the door, 381 00:20:41,942 --> 00:20:44,873 I'm offering you a great deal here, take it. 382 00:20:45,313 --> 00:20:46,655 That's not a great deal. 383 00:20:46,755 --> 00:20:48,553 Shut your mouth , or I piss in it. 384 00:20:48,764 --> 00:20:50,262 That's just bad hygiene. 385 00:20:50,490 --> 00:20:52,574 - Where were you raised? - Where were you raised? 386 00:20:52,989 --> 00:20:56,359 Uni brow stink y'all pink suit wearing motherfucker? 387 00:20:56,685 --> 00:20:59,355 Fifty percents on the dollar, final offer, take it. 388 00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:01,584 What? 389 00:21:06,581 --> 00:21:08,825 - Is that a "yes"? - No. 390 00:21:11,197 --> 00:21:13,025 Fine, fine, yes, I'll take it. 391 00:21:13,297 --> 00:21:15,759 - Wise choice. - Shit. 392 00:21:17,894 --> 00:21:20,671 Celia, it's Nancy. I'd really like to get silas' car back. 393 00:21:20,771 --> 00:21:22,012 Please, call me. 394 00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,282 It stinks in here. 395 00:21:25,582 --> 00:21:27,293 I shouldn't have let him smoke in my car. 396 00:21:28,357 --> 00:21:30,054 No more smoking in this car. 397 00:21:31,063 --> 00:21:33,678 No more "puf-puf" with the tabacco stick. 398 00:21:34,871 --> 00:21:37,637 You're rude, you know that? You gonna have cancer. 399 00:21:39,484 --> 00:21:42,396 I thought these things were supposed to get great gas mileage and shit. 400 00:21:42,595 --> 00:21:43,638 They do. 401 00:21:43,797 --> 00:21:45,737 Just haven't filled the tank for 2 weeks. 402 00:21:46,273 --> 00:21:48,058 2 weeks is pretty good. 403 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,410 Armenian guy. 404 00:22:14,955 --> 00:22:16,316 That was weird. 405 00:22:16,634 --> 00:22:19,621 Get away from the car! Get the fuck away from the car! 406 00:22:21,813 --> 00:22:24,252 Marvin, what are we doing? 407 00:22:24,375 --> 00:22:26,302 I was thinking that the car was gonna blow up. 408 00:22:28,705 --> 00:22:31,163 Those Armenians, they like to blow the shit up, you know? 409 00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:32,312 Really? 410 00:22:32,433 --> 00:22:34,889 Actually, I don't, he's the first one I met, but... 411 00:22:35,121 --> 00:22:36,355 I see a real shift here. 412 00:22:44,046 --> 00:22:45,407 Hello? 413 00:22:46,944 --> 00:22:48,794 Okay, and he never tapped it. 414 00:22:48,894 --> 00:22:50,938 You owe me a flat screen, motherfucker. 415 00:22:51,044 --> 00:22:52,176 Oh yes, you do! 416 00:22:53,646 --> 00:22:54,659 Okay. 417 00:22:55,678 --> 00:22:56,880 Bye. 418 00:22:57,570 --> 00:22:59,267 We can get back in the car, now. 419 00:23:00,504 --> 00:23:01,971 Who was that? 420 00:23:02,855 --> 00:23:04,021 U-Turn. 421 00:23:04,445 --> 00:23:05,665 What'd he say? 422 00:23:06,884 --> 00:23:08,033 You were traded. 423 00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:09,606 I was what? 424 00:23:09,924 --> 00:23:11,975 He said he bought your deal off to Armenians. 425 00:23:12,081 --> 00:23:13,813 Your ass and your grass is all his now. 426 00:23:14,313 --> 00:23:16,575 And he said, as we don't come back with the pot soon, 427 00:23:16,787 --> 00:23:18,007 I gotta shoot you in the head. 428 00:23:18,131 --> 00:23:20,057 So let's really focus on finding it, okay ? 429 00:23:20,216 --> 00:23:21,966 You got a really nice hair. 430 00:23:28,378 --> 00:23:29,704 Thanks. 431 00:23:31,559 --> 00:23:33,450 How much do I love the overmedicated. 432 00:23:33,573 --> 00:23:35,712 I can feel my pores tightening. 433 00:23:36,755 --> 00:23:38,805 - Check this out. - Tylanol, 434 00:23:39,193 --> 00:23:40,431 with codeine. 435 00:23:40,856 --> 00:23:42,835 Me, me... 436 00:23:48,225 --> 00:23:49,374 Hey man, look. 437 00:23:50,133 --> 00:23:52,873 I'm so sorry I fucked your wife with my giant cock. 438 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,179 I'm so not frightened by you. 439 00:23:56,302 --> 00:23:59,572 I have to be hung like a beer can, and I'm talking Guiness tap. 440 00:23:59,819 --> 00:24:02,700 Please, you're like one of those mini bottles of Crystal Geiser. 441 00:24:02,817 --> 00:24:06,068 Fuck you, I've seen you in the steam, I got you by a good inch. 442 00:24:06,723 --> 00:24:08,419 You care to make it interesting? 443 00:24:08,533 --> 00:24:09,537 How much? 444 00:24:09,638 --> 00:24:12,024 Your share of the Boo-yah when Nancy sells the crop. 445 00:24:12,395 --> 00:24:15,241 - That's a lot of cash. - Yeah? I've got a lot of dick. 446 00:24:15,453 --> 00:24:16,495 You're wrong, bitch. 447 00:24:22,705 --> 00:24:24,363 - You're a big talker - Oh yeah? 448 00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:25,903 Well I'll talk. 449 00:24:26,570 --> 00:24:29,115 - Winner and still champion. - Yeah, only in length. 450 00:24:29,231 --> 00:24:30,296 That's what counts, moron, 451 00:24:30,405 --> 00:24:32,872 circonference doesn't factor in a size war. 452 00:24:33,125 --> 00:24:35,564 Flesh doesn't count either, I'm a grower, not a shower. 453 00:24:35,728 --> 00:24:36,728 Wanna measure hard? 454 00:24:36,834 --> 00:24:39,205 Yeah, you're not gonna have my share without a fair fight. 455 00:24:39,338 --> 00:24:40,636 - Fine. - Alright. 456 00:24:42,023 --> 00:24:43,189 Come on. 457 00:24:47,961 --> 00:24:49,322 Occupied! 458 00:24:54,754 --> 00:24:56,840 - We took too many drugs. - Yes, yes, we did. 459 00:24:59,137 --> 00:25:01,505 We're having a great time, we're at the dump. 460 00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:05,640 Yeah. 461 00:25:07,409 --> 00:25:09,141 He wanted to see where the trash went. 462 00:25:15,627 --> 00:25:17,094 Okay, bye. 463 00:25:19,303 --> 00:25:21,141 This is one nice fucking neighborhood. 464 00:25:21,530 --> 00:25:23,969 - How long you live here? - Too long, shh, it's ringing. 465 00:25:24,181 --> 00:25:25,613 Looks like it's from a movie. 466 00:25:25,754 --> 00:25:27,680 That with the plants and trees, 467 00:25:28,087 --> 00:25:29,342 no chain-link, 468 00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:31,657 this place's got alarms? 469 00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:34,308 Celia, I'm outside your house. Where's my son's car? 470 00:25:34,484 --> 00:25:36,428 Why? It's in your driveway. 471 00:25:36,570 --> 00:25:38,233 Nancy, I told you I'd drive it home 472 00:25:38,333 --> 00:25:40,777 and I always try to be a woman of my word. 473 00:25:41,085 --> 00:25:43,665 Oh, you owe $37,50 for gas. 474 00:25:45,308 --> 00:25:46,439 Hello? 475 00:25:47,519 --> 00:25:49,092 Hello, Nancy? 476 00:25:53,140 --> 00:25:54,282 Shit. 477 00:25:56,745 --> 00:25:58,035 This ain't good. 478 00:26:15,109 --> 00:26:17,830 Silas' phone, Celia speaking. 479 00:26:18,095 --> 00:26:21,541 Hey Nancy, I helped myself to some of your vodka, 480 00:26:21,771 --> 00:26:23,238 I hope you don't mind. 481 00:26:24,917 --> 00:26:27,055 Oh, and I borrowed some garden shears, 482 00:26:27,373 --> 00:26:30,908 you know they were really helpful, so thanks. 483 00:26:33,991 --> 00:26:37,367 I did this... for your own good, Nancy. 484 00:26:53,466 --> 00:26:56,100 He gonna be mad. 485 00:27:07,737 --> 00:27:09,927 [ www.seriessub.com ] 486 00:27:10,186 --> 00:27:11,879 Special thanks to Benj! 487 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,524 Special thanks to ouazo 488 00:27:13,525 --> 00:27:15,327 Special thanks to Bbsiocnarf 489 00:27:15,328 --> 00:27:16,954 Special thanks to San-A