1 00:00:00,767 --> 00:00:02,460 Transcript & Synchro : [dx] 2 00:00:02,472 --> 00:00:04,130 Transcript & Synchro : loky 3 00:00:50,313 --> 00:00:53,265 Season 3 Episode 1 - Doing The Backstroke - 4 00:00:53,422 --> 00:00:56,156 [ www.seriessub.com ] 5 00:00:57,630 --> 00:00:59,237 Previously on Weeds 6 00:00:59,337 --> 00:01:01,308 Our stash is worth about 300 G, 7 00:01:01,489 --> 00:01:03,097 but the market is making a bull one so, 8 00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:04,938 we sit on a half a million easy. 9 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,293 I'm having an affair with the dawg. 10 00:01:09,473 --> 00:01:11,313 Doug Wilson? Wife fucker. 11 00:01:13,429 --> 00:01:15,235 It's my kid's graduation, I can't do this. 12 00:01:15,335 --> 00:01:17,661 You have failed us all! 13 00:01:17,761 --> 00:01:20,446 There's some fucking lowlife stole two of them already. 14 00:01:20,546 --> 00:01:22,879 - The cameras? - And the "drug free zone" signs, 15 00:01:22,979 --> 00:01:26,113 and the sasquatch costume. Son of a bitch. 16 00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:28,164 - Hi Kat. - Hi. 17 00:01:28,457 --> 00:01:31,355 Abum Chuck, he's just this bounty hunter. 18 00:01:31,502 --> 00:01:33,439 I did something illegal. 19 00:01:33,542 --> 00:01:36,085 - It's now or never, come with me. - I'm not coming with you. 20 00:01:36,874 --> 00:01:39,125 - Thanks for keeping me company. - Where are we going? 21 00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:41,032 - Where do you wanna go? - Pittsburgh! 22 00:01:41,992 --> 00:01:44,728 - Step out Geronimo! - You watch that shit man. 23 00:01:44,842 --> 00:01:47,564 You've been ... fucking him the whole time you were married to me? 24 00:01:47,685 --> 00:01:48,994 It's just business between us. 25 00:01:49,125 --> 00:01:50,264 It always has been. 26 00:01:51,061 --> 00:01:52,071 Take your last harvest, 27 00:01:52,192 --> 00:01:54,593 make a quick deal and then handle all the cash over to me. 28 00:01:54,696 --> 00:01:55,700 Why are you doing this? 29 00:01:55,809 --> 00:01:57,560 Because I let everything at line for you, 30 00:01:58,447 --> 00:01:59,490 and you fucked me. 31 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,046 I'm looking to sell about 30 pounds of sexy mom. 32 00:02:02,176 --> 00:02:03,951 - Are you in? - Yeah, I'll take it. 33 00:02:04,928 --> 00:02:05,928 What the fuck? 34 00:02:06,028 --> 00:02:07,908 Give us the drugs and we'll let you live. 35 00:02:08,030 --> 00:02:09,397 Kachichian says goodbye. 36 00:02:09,527 --> 00:02:11,725 - Where's the money? - Ain't no money fool! 37 00:02:12,197 --> 00:02:13,922 - Wait ... - Where is my money? 38 00:02:14,036 --> 00:02:16,369 - I kill agent asshole, you pay us. - He's dead? 39 00:02:16,499 --> 00:02:18,665 Ain't no money cuz they decided to jack us. 40 00:02:18,985 --> 00:02:20,981 We kill each other then nobody gets nothing! 41 00:02:21,088 --> 00:02:22,642 - He's dead? - YES! 42 00:02:23,586 --> 00:02:27,639 Open the fucking safe! 43 00:02:27,739 --> 00:02:30,831 Sorry there's a lot of... data flying around. 44 00:02:32,769 --> 00:02:34,462 Oh not today. 45 00:02:35,570 --> 00:02:36,768 Hi Nancy! 46 00:02:36,868 --> 00:02:39,274 Did you take something that doesn't belong to you? 47 00:02:39,374 --> 00:02:40,390 I want in. 48 00:02:41,675 --> 00:02:43,513 - That's him. - Shit ... 49 00:02:43,613 --> 00:02:44,752 Bitch you're about to die. 50 00:03:09,943 --> 00:03:11,724 Hey, I don't know about this, I mean... 51 00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:14,037 God knows what they've done with the inside, 52 00:03:14,137 --> 00:03:16,945 it might upset you, your mother kept that place so clean. 53 00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:20,891 It's used to be all flowers, and nice lawns... 54 00:03:21,013 --> 00:03:23,737 - Can we go to CityWalk now? - ... nice families... 55 00:03:24,147 --> 00:03:26,687 - And now, look at this. - I got to go pee. 56 00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:30,131 - Oh, she's gotta go pee. - I'm gonna pee in my pants. 57 00:03:30,231 --> 00:03:31,818 You hold it! There it is. 58 00:03:31,968 --> 00:03:34,122 Well, I'm gonna ask her if she can pee in the house. 59 00:03:36,028 --> 00:03:37,119 Hello? 60 00:03:37,238 --> 00:03:39,079 - Can hold it! - Ally. 61 00:03:39,284 --> 00:03:40,341 Ally! 62 00:03:40,691 --> 00:03:43,299 Oh look, they haven't changed the wallpaper. 63 00:03:43,504 --> 00:03:44,902 Hello? 64 00:03:45,652 --> 00:03:47,561 I'm Dawn Tremigliosi. 65 00:03:47,663 --> 00:03:50,698 I used to live here where I was a little girl, hello? 66 00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:54,107 We're visiting, from Scottsdale. 67 00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:56,050 Mommy?! 68 00:03:56,391 --> 00:03:57,754 I think she had an accident. 69 00:04:07,044 --> 00:04:09,976 - Sorry about this, we were just, uh... - You used to live here? 70 00:04:11,340 --> 00:04:12,345 My wife did. 71 00:04:12,465 --> 00:04:14,834 Dawn Tremigliosi, from Scottsdale. 72 00:04:15,490 --> 00:04:17,519 Yeah, I got a cousin in Scottsdale. 73 00:04:17,876 --> 00:04:19,580 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 74 00:04:19,768 --> 00:04:21,677 You know a dude named Cold Blood? 75 00:04:21,796 --> 00:04:24,012 About 6.5, 320, 76 00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:25,768 big scar across his throat, 77 00:04:26,018 --> 00:04:27,672 Maybe I can hook you up. 78 00:04:28,047 --> 00:04:29,939 You can go get nachos together. 79 00:04:31,252 --> 00:04:32,735 You know, hon', it's uh... 80 00:04:33,382 --> 00:04:34,422 too bad. 81 00:04:34,916 --> 00:04:37,524 No one was home when we went to your old place 82 00:04:37,968 --> 00:04:39,331 and we just had to... 83 00:04:39,672 --> 00:04:42,161 drive away without going in at all. 84 00:04:42,902 --> 00:04:43,976 What? 85 00:04:45,441 --> 00:04:47,265 Oh, right, we... 86 00:04:47,606 --> 00:04:50,725 - We went straight to CityWalk. - They got bowling at CityWalk. 87 00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:53,120 And that's what we're doing... Right now. 88 00:04:53,308 --> 00:04:55,200 We're bowling, okay? 89 00:04:56,623 --> 00:04:57,970 I got kids here. 90 00:05:01,993 --> 00:05:04,328 Y'all going to hit that reset button. 91 00:05:05,318 --> 00:05:06,698 Let's go, let's go. 92 00:05:07,005 --> 00:05:09,613 Go, go, go, go, go, now, quick, move, c'mon! 93 00:05:09,732 --> 00:05:11,693 - Bye! - Bye. 94 00:05:15,153 --> 00:05:17,250 Can we all talk without the guns, please? 95 00:05:17,352 --> 00:05:20,216 - My arms are getting tired. - So, rest in, by all means. 96 00:05:20,370 --> 00:05:22,058 Marvin, if you put that gun down, 97 00:05:22,158 --> 00:05:24,392 I swear I shoot you myself, fat fuck. 98 00:05:25,364 --> 00:05:27,017 Can I just make one more call, 99 00:05:27,205 --> 00:05:29,012 in the service of finding our pot? 100 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,433 Our pot! 101 00:05:30,596 --> 00:05:35,497 Fuck you! 102 00:05:35,661 --> 00:05:36,700 Hold off! 103 00:05:36,888 --> 00:05:38,302 Let's all just chill, alright? 104 00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:41,047 If she doesn't find the pot, ain't nobody gettin' shit! 105 00:05:41,337 --> 00:05:42,496 Well, that's not true. 106 00:05:42,803 --> 00:05:44,099 You'll be getting the bullets. 107 00:05:45,764 --> 00:05:47,843 Nancy, make your call. 108 00:05:56,321 --> 00:05:57,361 Shit. 109 00:05:57,873 --> 00:05:59,236 I can't get a signal. 110 00:06:02,646 --> 00:06:04,726 That's the little fucker who stole my cameras. 111 00:06:05,050 --> 00:06:06,107 Arrest him! 112 00:06:06,481 --> 00:06:07,504 I didn't do anything. 113 00:06:08,816 --> 00:06:10,605 I have you on tape. 114 00:06:10,776 --> 00:06:12,651 Like, I wouldn't make copies? 115 00:06:12,770 --> 00:06:13,878 I didn't do shit! 116 00:06:14,227 --> 00:06:17,670 - A lot of people look like me. - What are you waiting for? 117 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:20,301 Search his car, hit him with your flashlight. 118 00:06:20,401 --> 00:06:22,658 - Do what you people do. - I did it. 119 00:06:23,511 --> 00:06:24,899 - See? - I stole her cameras, 120 00:06:25,004 --> 00:06:27,431 - they are at my house, let's just go. - Let's take him in. 121 00:06:27,533 --> 00:06:28,880 Ma'am, ma'am, 122 00:06:29,238 --> 00:06:32,204 I can't give you a ride, with a suspect in the back of the vehicle. 123 00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:35,050 - It's policy. - So, what am I supposed to do? 124 00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:36,584 Hike home? 125 00:06:36,908 --> 00:06:38,121 I'm in heels, here. 126 00:06:38,221 --> 00:06:40,369 I'm sorry Ma'am, I'm just doing what we do. 127 00:06:41,382 --> 00:06:42,899 Cute, right. 128 00:06:43,223 --> 00:06:44,928 Well, what's happening with his car? 129 00:06:45,303 --> 00:06:46,411 Yeah, hey, can I... 130 00:06:46,564 --> 00:06:49,661 Let me just lock it up really quick. I'll have my mum come and get it later. 131 00:06:49,768 --> 00:06:52,575 No, I'll have to call the impound. This is a restricted parking area. 132 00:06:52,695 --> 00:06:54,795 Okay, this is ridiculous. Silas, give me your keys. 133 00:06:54,895 --> 00:06:57,561 - I will drive your car home. - Absolutely not, no way. 134 00:06:57,665 --> 00:07:00,262 It's over 400 bucks to get your vehicle out of the impound. 135 00:07:00,395 --> 00:07:01,656 Now, give her the keys. 136 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,224 It's my car. 137 00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:06,855 - Hey, what the hell, you can't do that. - Oh, yes he can. 138 00:07:07,123 --> 00:07:09,509 Because, you... have no rights. 139 00:07:10,071 --> 00:07:11,554 Teething little shit. 140 00:07:13,055 --> 00:07:14,111 Son, 141 00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:17,439 get in the back of my vehicle, right now, let's go, come on. 142 00:07:17,643 --> 00:07:19,978 Son, let's go. Come on. 143 00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:26,942 I'm just trying to find some power bars , okay? 144 00:07:27,521 --> 00:07:29,004 Power bars, that can be right. 145 00:07:29,208 --> 00:07:30,674 What do you call these? 146 00:07:30,827 --> 00:07:32,464 Bars of reception? 147 00:07:32,599 --> 00:07:34,832 On my phone, I call this little pyramid. 148 00:07:35,071 --> 00:07:36,503 Kinda like your dick. 149 00:07:36,809 --> 00:07:39,563 Hey man, that's not cool. We don't even know these people. 150 00:07:39,663 --> 00:07:42,980 Oh, bars, bars, bars, got it. Here we go. Please, don't shoot me. 151 00:07:50,556 --> 00:07:54,681 Hi, Nancy. Surprise, it's me, Celia. 152 00:07:54,869 --> 00:07:57,034 Celia, I didn't... I didn't call you. 153 00:07:57,170 --> 00:07:59,437 No, you meant to call Silas, 154 00:07:59,539 --> 00:08:01,483 but, you know, he's not here right now. 155 00:08:02,226 --> 00:08:03,743 I had him arrested, 156 00:08:03,931 --> 00:08:06,522 and he admitted taking my cameras. 157 00:08:06,863 --> 00:08:10,545 You can probably reach him at the Agrestic police station, 158 00:08:10,733 --> 00:08:12,488 if they're letting him take calls. 159 00:08:13,239 --> 00:08:16,392 And you know, Nanc', you're gonna have to reimburse me 160 00:08:16,494 --> 00:08:18,096 for gasoline, because 161 00:08:18,199 --> 00:08:23,118 your irresponsible adolescent has left me with an empty tank, hello? 162 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,721 - We gotta go. - Like hell. 163 00:08:26,709 --> 00:08:29,607 Hello, Nancy? Rude. 164 00:08:30,033 --> 00:08:31,516 As usual. 165 00:08:31,773 --> 00:08:35,540 Where is the fucking gas pop up thing? 166 00:08:39,161 --> 00:08:40,251 Fuck it. 167 00:08:40,661 --> 00:08:41,786 Where're we going? 168 00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:44,122 I know where the pot is, 169 00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:47,360 and if you let us go get it, we'll bring it right back, I swear. 170 00:08:49,423 --> 00:08:50,429 Guns on me. 171 00:08:51,536 --> 00:08:53,377 - I'm staying. - What? 172 00:08:54,945 --> 00:08:57,407 Because you wouldn't know that we're coming back, I got it. 173 00:09:07,796 --> 00:09:10,438 - Okay, Bassa will go with you. - Marvin, you're up. 174 00:09:10,779 --> 00:09:11,921 Gone. 175 00:09:12,364 --> 00:09:15,118 If you are not back with the brackley by dark, 176 00:09:15,218 --> 00:09:17,952 I'm shootin your boy here... in the nuts. 177 00:09:18,088 --> 00:09:20,850 And I will shoot him in the kneecap and the elbow. 178 00:09:21,054 --> 00:09:23,100 And so on, so you'd better get movin'. 179 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,121 I forgot my purse, sorry. 180 00:09:33,223 --> 00:09:35,049 I'll be back soon, oh no, no shooting, okay. 181 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:44,115 He's 12, brown hair, brown eyes, he's weraing a beige suit, blue shirt. 182 00:09:46,212 --> 00:09:47,660 If you find him, 183 00:09:47,814 --> 00:09:50,507 could you just call me? We had to sedate his mother. 184 00:09:51,309 --> 00:09:53,508 Yes, yes, very upsetting. 185 00:09:54,479 --> 00:09:57,292 You have my cell number? Thank you, thank you, bye. 186 00:09:58,305 --> 00:09:59,330 I'm telling you, man! 187 00:09:59,430 --> 00:10:01,827 After a lifetime of sardines and blobber, 188 00:10:02,389 --> 00:10:03,872 fast-food burrito, 189 00:10:04,196 --> 00:10:05,423 ain't gonna be kind to you. 190 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,110 You call the fucking cops, do you? 191 00:10:09,054 --> 00:10:11,365 He's my nephew, I called in an AMBER alert. 192 00:10:11,465 --> 00:10:13,043 If the police find him first, 193 00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:14,577 and you fucked up my bounty, 194 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,587 I'm wiping my ass with you. 195 00:10:26,290 --> 00:10:29,512 Hey this is the truck version of set me drift on a nice flower? 196 00:10:38,784 --> 00:10:40,813 Shane, this is Bear. 197 00:10:40,915 --> 00:10:42,978 We met over there by the candy machine. 198 00:10:43,174 --> 00:10:47,169 and he showed me that the lift of mini mint paddies was loose, look. 199 00:10:51,527 --> 00:10:52,533 That's yummy. 200 00:10:52,754 --> 00:10:54,544 So, listen little guy. 201 00:10:54,765 --> 00:10:59,657 I am going to hit the ride to South America with Bear. 202 00:10:59,805 --> 00:11:02,600 But, I'm gonna leave you the van, so you can go... 203 00:11:02,924 --> 00:11:05,924 home, or Pittsburgh, or wherever you wanna go, okay? 204 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:08,464 - I'm 12 - I was driving at 8. 205 00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:10,236 Don't make him feel bad, Bear. 206 00:11:10,663 --> 00:11:12,606 Okay, after you finished your sandwich, 207 00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,861 go to the big parking lot, out back there. 208 00:11:15,031 --> 00:11:16,725 And practice driving around a little bit, 209 00:11:16,834 --> 00:11:18,098 until you feel confortable, 210 00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:20,344 I'm sure you'll get that thing very quickly. 211 00:11:20,583 --> 00:11:21,595 Can you show me how? 212 00:11:21,704 --> 00:11:23,422 I'm sorry, kid, I'm on a tight schedule. 213 00:11:23,531 --> 00:11:25,798 Yeah, he's on a really tight schedule, and... 214 00:11:25,968 --> 00:11:28,508 you know, he's done me a favour, so... 215 00:11:28,695 --> 00:11:30,085 when he says "go", I gotta go. 216 00:11:30,185 --> 00:11:33,690 And I said "go" half an hour ago, so chop-chop tempus fugees. 217 00:11:34,011 --> 00:11:36,431 Oh my God, you speak greek, how cute is that! 218 00:11:36,814 --> 00:11:39,373 It's latin, and the actual quotation is : 219 00:11:39,473 --> 00:11:42,160 "Fugit irreparabile tempus", 220 00:11:42,260 --> 00:11:45,551 which means irretrapable time is flying. 221 00:11:45,704 --> 00:11:47,528 Fuck me with the dictionary, kid. 222 00:11:47,851 --> 00:11:49,300 Get beat up much. 223 00:11:49,446 --> 00:11:51,799 Okay, honey, honey. 224 00:11:52,787 --> 00:11:53,789 Sit down. 225 00:11:54,151 --> 00:11:56,060 I know this must be rough, 226 00:11:56,588 --> 00:11:59,656 but I think that you can use this as an opportunity 227 00:11:59,946 --> 00:12:03,355 to explore, and to grow, and to learn, 228 00:12:03,458 --> 00:12:07,380 you should always keep an up to date passport on your person at all times. 229 00:12:07,515 --> 00:12:10,378 So, here the keys of the thing, 230 00:12:10,652 --> 00:12:13,225 here's about $13 in change 231 00:12:13,327 --> 00:12:15,901 that I liberated from the tampon machine in the ladies room. 232 00:12:16,258 --> 00:12:19,582 I want you to have it, have amazing adventure, Shane. 233 00:12:19,770 --> 00:12:22,173 We'll meet again, I'll be older, 234 00:12:22,463 --> 00:12:23,827 but I'll still be hot. 235 00:12:24,083 --> 00:12:25,276 And you'll be older, 236 00:12:25,464 --> 00:12:30,441 and you'll still be the same, smart, wise, gentle soul you are now, 237 00:12:30,730 --> 00:12:31,872 but you'll be taller. 238 00:12:32,094 --> 00:12:33,529 And I think that you're gonna do 239 00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:36,160 some really interesting things with your facial hair. 240 00:12:36,424 --> 00:12:38,231 I just see it. 241 00:12:38,589 --> 00:12:41,947 Okay sweetie? Heart hug, heart hug. 242 00:12:42,441 --> 00:12:44,708 Okay? Be well. 243 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,787 I think you're amazing. 244 00:12:47,828 --> 00:12:49,294 Bye. 245 00:12:52,835 --> 00:12:54,691 This is a fucking police station! 246 00:12:55,016 --> 00:12:57,579 I told you there's a guy in there who knows where the pot is, 247 00:12:57,679 --> 00:13:00,162 I'm just gonna go talk to him and leave, okay? 248 00:13:00,773 --> 00:13:02,579 And who is this guy? He a cop or something? 249 00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:06,195 No he's a criminal, just like us, it's gonna be fine. 250 00:13:06,390 --> 00:13:08,034 You put any shit up in there, 251 00:13:08,295 --> 00:13:11,454 we kill you and we kill your boy Conrad, dig? 252 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,644 Fully digging, completely dug. 253 00:13:13,744 --> 00:13:17,081 Ok, you and Conrad are like "together together" or just like what? 254 00:13:17,241 --> 00:13:19,211 We are business partners, can I go in now? 255 00:13:19,411 --> 00:13:20,697 You ain't done nothing? 256 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:24,540 Come on, two fine looking people, all hormones and shit, 257 00:13:24,849 --> 00:13:26,217 working side by side. 258 00:13:28,317 --> 00:13:30,613 Okay fine, we kissed once. 259 00:13:32,104 --> 00:13:34,958 But I don't know we never really talked about it, now it's kinda weird 260 00:13:35,058 --> 00:13:37,671 there's this whole thing happening with you guys, so it's not... 261 00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:39,861 a great time for us to price our feelings. 262 00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:41,656 - So, no booty, huh? - No, not really. 263 00:13:44,082 --> 00:13:47,208 - What do you mean by "Hah"? - As in I bet U-Turn and I win. 264 00:13:47,582 --> 00:13:50,073 I know that pretty nigger never got to be in your business. 265 00:13:50,399 --> 00:13:52,158 - How do you know? - You just told me. 266 00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:55,490 I know that, how did you know before? 267 00:13:55,590 --> 00:13:57,067 - I just knew. - How? 268 00:13:57,181 --> 00:13:58,679 - I just did. - How? 269 00:14:02,457 --> 00:14:04,540 I've gotta go. This discussion is not over. 270 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,510 Yeah it is, cuz I know this type of things, 271 00:14:06,610 --> 00:14:08,384 I'm like a deep dicker psychic. 272 00:14:08,596 --> 00:14:11,233 Leave the keys so we can listen to the radio. 273 00:14:21,059 --> 00:14:22,063 Jesus Christ, 274 00:14:22,540 --> 00:14:24,055 what do you want from me now? 275 00:14:24,250 --> 00:14:26,512 I can't believe you told Dana, how could you tell Dana? 276 00:14:26,708 --> 00:14:29,199 You fuck up my marriage, I fuck up yours, even. 277 00:14:29,313 --> 00:14:30,664 Even my ass, I love Dana. 278 00:14:30,844 --> 00:14:32,733 Then, what were you doing inside my wife? 279 00:14:32,847 --> 00:14:33,974 Your wife's enticing snatch 280 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:36,514 has nothing to do with my deep and abiding love for my wife. 281 00:14:36,628 --> 00:14:38,145 So give me your car keys, I'm going after my woman. 282 00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:39,506 I drive a motorcycle. 283 00:14:39,669 --> 00:14:42,290 I'm not giving you a God damn thing you asshole. 284 00:14:42,404 --> 00:14:45,595 I was married to Celia for 17 fucking years, 285 00:14:45,758 --> 00:14:48,998 and you walked in and fucked everything up, litterally. 286 00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:54,237 I only wish I'd fucked your wife before I told her you cheated. 287 00:14:56,158 --> 00:14:57,933 Dana would never fuck you. 288 00:14:58,503 --> 00:15:00,391 Oh really, how do you know? 289 00:15:00,537 --> 00:15:02,231 She won't fuck anyone, 290 00:15:03,044 --> 00:15:05,649 something about a short cervix and how she might be a lesbian. 291 00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:07,831 You have four kids... 292 00:15:07,978 --> 00:15:09,930 ...whose name could have been Tequila Shots, 293 00:15:10,030 --> 00:15:14,165 Knocking Her While She Was Sleeping, Doing It For a Lexus and Turkey Pasture. 294 00:15:14,361 --> 00:15:16,266 But she gets me, she thinks I'm funny, 295 00:15:16,366 --> 00:15:18,652 she buys my underwear, she puts new blades on my razors, 296 00:15:18,767 --> 00:15:21,443 she makes these amazing lamp shots and you told. 297 00:15:21,631 --> 00:15:24,437 The only thing that Dana hates more than sex is public embarrassment, 298 00:15:24,546 --> 00:15:25,921 she is never gonna forgive me. 299 00:15:26,377 --> 00:15:27,729 Homebraking fuck! 300 00:15:30,594 --> 00:15:32,027 My marriage is over. 301 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,176 Yeah? Well welcome to the club. 302 00:15:35,283 --> 00:15:37,449 - Oh shit, I'm bleeding. - Good. 303 00:15:39,859 --> 00:15:40,966 Jesus... 304 00:15:42,057 --> 00:15:43,653 ...and Christ. 305 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,245 You know, I dropped you on your head once. 306 00:16:33,932 --> 00:16:35,951 You were about 15 months old, 307 00:16:36,781 --> 00:16:38,987 we were playing this game where you'd climb up my legs 308 00:16:39,087 --> 00:16:42,558 and I'd flip you over and you'd land back on your feet, but this one time, 309 00:16:42,953 --> 00:16:45,412 you kept climbing up my body and you wouldn't flip, 310 00:16:46,161 --> 00:16:48,423 and I'm holding your hands and your little feeters 311 00:16:48,523 --> 00:16:50,444 feeling out my body and under my shoulders 312 00:16:50,769 --> 00:16:52,820 and I'm saying "Silas, stop". 313 00:16:53,260 --> 00:16:54,856 But you were laughing, 314 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,080 you were completely upside down, 315 00:16:58,716 --> 00:17:00,507 your hurtsome shoe goes "wham", 316 00:17:00,685 --> 00:17:01,988 right into my eye, 317 00:17:03,519 --> 00:17:04,919 I let go, 318 00:17:05,603 --> 00:17:07,264 with you head first 319 00:17:08,404 --> 00:17:09,771 into the hard wood. 320 00:17:10,061 --> 00:17:12,911 If Celia hadn't shown up, we'd be in business right now. 321 00:17:13,057 --> 00:17:15,190 How did you even get into the safe? 322 00:17:16,104 --> 00:17:18,921 The combination was your maiden name, you think that was turkey? 323 00:17:22,096 --> 00:17:23,187 You know what? 324 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:25,499 I can't do this right now. 325 00:17:28,862 --> 00:17:31,713 I need to get my hands on what you took, 326 00:17:31,813 --> 00:17:35,657 and give it back to some people who'd do some very bad things if I don't. 327 00:17:35,757 --> 00:17:37,124 Am I being clear? 328 00:17:38,573 --> 00:17:40,755 - What bad things? - Silas! 329 00:17:40,918 --> 00:17:43,376 Where is the p... where is the dry-cleaning? 330 00:17:44,190 --> 00:17:48,227 I need every last bag of clothing or my boss is going to kill me, 331 00:17:48,327 --> 00:17:51,355 just shoot me dead. You got that? 332 00:17:53,952 --> 00:17:55,092 Dead! 333 00:17:56,606 --> 00:17:57,909 Where is it? 334 00:17:59,961 --> 00:18:01,671 It's all in the trunk of my car. 335 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,325 - Your car? - Yes. 336 00:18:05,220 --> 00:18:07,482 Would that be the car Celia's driving-- 337 00:18:07,582 --> 00:18:09,159 - That would be it. - Jesus Christ. 338 00:18:09,259 --> 00:18:10,994 The cop took my keys and gave them to her, 339 00:18:11,108 --> 00:18:12,335 I couldn't do anything. 340 00:18:13,410 --> 00:18:15,315 Can't your husband help you out of this? 341 00:18:25,379 --> 00:18:26,433 Mom? 342 00:18:28,049 --> 00:18:29,222 Mom! 343 00:18:30,817 --> 00:18:31,892 I gotta go. 344 00:18:34,595 --> 00:18:36,809 - Are you taking me with you? - What? 345 00:18:37,069 --> 00:18:39,675 No, at least if you're here, I know where you are. 346 00:18:52,246 --> 00:18:54,721 - Hello Andy? - Hey Nanc', how is it going? 347 00:18:55,340 --> 00:18:57,729 Yeah, yeah, of course I got Shane, 348 00:18:57,829 --> 00:19:00,198 I think we gonna stay outing for a while, is that cool? 349 00:19:00,637 --> 00:19:02,575 Yeah? Great! 350 00:19:02,770 --> 00:19:06,287 Don't worry about thing, and he's having a blast, 351 00:19:06,416 --> 00:19:09,396 don't be such a motherhen, okay, we'll see you later, okay, bye. 352 00:19:09,502 --> 00:19:13,199 I've seen her, she stole mint paddies, are you gonna pay for those? 353 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:17,400 The kid, was there a kid with her, that height, beige suit? 354 00:19:17,530 --> 00:19:18,831 Sure, the kid was here, 355 00:19:18,931 --> 00:19:21,208 he had a girl cheese special and paid all in quarters. 356 00:19:21,308 --> 00:19:23,001 He left a decent tip, tough. 357 00:19:23,115 --> 00:19:24,629 How long ago did the girl leave? 358 00:19:24,808 --> 00:19:27,104 I don't know, about two hours, she left with Bear. 359 00:19:27,446 --> 00:19:30,181 - Huh? What does that mean? - Bear, he's a trucker. 360 00:19:30,409 --> 00:19:32,753 And the kid was with them, with the girl and Bear? 361 00:19:32,965 --> 00:19:35,707 They left and then the kid drove a blue van 362 00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:38,127 around the parking lot for an hour before taking off. 363 00:19:38,501 --> 00:19:40,944 He's a little young to be driving if you ask me but... 364 00:19:41,355 --> 00:19:44,889 all the preservatives people eat nowadays make them look younger so... 365 00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:47,591 - who knows? - Oh man, common', we gotta jam. 366 00:19:48,185 --> 00:19:49,846 What kinda ride does Bear drives? 367 00:19:50,635 --> 00:19:52,230 Blue, like a cyrillian blue, 368 00:19:52,330 --> 00:19:54,997 but with sparkle in it, you sent me these same mud flaps. 369 00:19:55,097 --> 00:19:57,969 I know it's a cliché but... I think he's being ironic. 370 00:19:58,069 --> 00:20:01,267 Holy Ned, you're a giant redwood. Move, redwood! 371 00:20:02,016 --> 00:20:04,865 I'm not redwood. I'm not Yeti man, 372 00:20:04,980 --> 00:20:06,893 Master Mohawk, Chief Wiggum, 373 00:20:07,007 --> 00:20:08,968 Eskimo Pie, Grapewine North 374 00:20:09,068 --> 00:20:10,507 or Orchidean Redskin, 375 00:20:10,662 --> 00:20:14,112 and I'm not your Snow Nigger, your rude piece of shit, 376 00:20:14,212 --> 00:20:16,002 I'm fucking through with you. 377 00:20:20,651 --> 00:20:23,044 Common', I called you Snow Niggah, 378 00:20:23,190 --> 00:20:26,642 with an "A", geew Nanouk, you're so sensitive. 379 00:20:36,005 --> 00:20:38,235 You don't even know if the bitch's coming back, 380 00:20:38,335 --> 00:20:40,679 I got a hundred G's cash out the door, 381 00:20:41,753 --> 00:20:44,684 I'm offering you a great deal here, take it. 382 00:20:45,124 --> 00:20:46,466 That's not a great deal. 383 00:20:46,566 --> 00:20:48,364 Shut your mouth , or I piss in it. 384 00:20:48,575 --> 00:20:50,073 That's just bad hygiene. 385 00:20:50,301 --> 00:20:52,385 - Where were you raised? - Where were you raised? 386 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:56,170 Uni brow stink y'all pink suit wearing motherfucker? 387 00:20:56,496 --> 00:20:59,166 Fifty percents on the dollar, final offer, take it. 388 00:21:00,236 --> 00:21:01,395 What? 389 00:21:06,392 --> 00:21:08,636 - Is that a "yes"? - No. 390 00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:12,836 Fine, fine, yes, I'll take it. 391 00:21:13,108 --> 00:21:15,570 - Wise choice. - Shit. 392 00:21:17,705 --> 00:21:20,482 Celia, it's Nancy. I'd really like to get silas' car back. 393 00:21:20,582 --> 00:21:21,823 Please, call me. 394 00:21:23,802 --> 00:21:25,093 It stinks in here. 395 00:21:25,393 --> 00:21:27,104 I shouldn't have let him smoke in my car. 396 00:21:28,168 --> 00:21:29,865 No more smoking in this car. 397 00:21:30,874 --> 00:21:33,489 No more "puf-puf" with the tabacco stick. 398 00:21:34,682 --> 00:21:37,448 You're rude, you know that? You gonna have cancer. 399 00:21:39,295 --> 00:21:42,207 I thought these things were supposed to get great gas mileage and shit. 400 00:21:42,406 --> 00:21:43,449 They do. 401 00:21:43,608 --> 00:21:45,548 Just haven't filled the tank for 2 weeks. 402 00:21:46,084 --> 00:21:47,869 2 weeks is pretty good. 403 00:22:10,771 --> 00:22:12,221 Armenian guy. 404 00:22:14,766 --> 00:22:16,127 That was weird. 405 00:22:16,445 --> 00:22:19,432 Get away from the car! Get the fuck away from the car! 406 00:22:21,624 --> 00:22:24,063 Marvin, what are we doing? 407 00:22:24,186 --> 00:22:26,113 I was thinking that the car was gonna blow up. 408 00:22:28,516 --> 00:22:30,974 Those Armenians, they like to blow the shit up, you know? 409 00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:32,123 Really? 410 00:22:32,244 --> 00:22:34,700 Actually, I don't, he's the first one I met, but... 411 00:22:34,932 --> 00:22:36,166 I see a real shift here. 412 00:22:43,857 --> 00:22:45,218 Hello? 413 00:22:46,755 --> 00:22:48,605 Okay, and he never tapped it. 414 00:22:48,705 --> 00:22:50,749 You owe me a flat screen, motherfucker. 415 00:22:50,855 --> 00:22:51,987 Oh yes, you do! 416 00:22:53,457 --> 00:22:54,470 Okay. 417 00:22:55,489 --> 00:22:56,691 Bye. 418 00:22:57,381 --> 00:22:59,078 We can get back in the car, now. 419 00:23:00,315 --> 00:23:01,782 Who was that? 420 00:23:02,666 --> 00:23:03,832 U-Turn. 421 00:23:04,256 --> 00:23:05,476 What'd he say? 422 00:23:06,695 --> 00:23:07,844 You were traded. 423 00:23:08,198 --> 00:23:09,417 I was what? 424 00:23:09,735 --> 00:23:11,786 He said he bought your deal off to Armenians. 425 00:23:11,892 --> 00:23:13,624 Your ass and your grass is all his now. 426 00:23:14,124 --> 00:23:16,386 And he said, as we don't come back with the pot soon, 427 00:23:16,598 --> 00:23:17,818 I gotta shoot you in the head. 428 00:23:17,942 --> 00:23:19,868 So let's really focus on finding it, okay ? 429 00:23:20,027 --> 00:23:21,777 You got a really nice hair. 430 00:23:28,189 --> 00:23:29,515 Thanks. 431 00:23:31,370 --> 00:23:33,261 How much do I love the overmedicated. 432 00:23:33,384 --> 00:23:35,523 I can feel my pores tightening. 433 00:23:36,566 --> 00:23:38,616 - Check this out. - Tylanol, 434 00:23:39,004 --> 00:23:40,242 with codeine. 435 00:23:40,667 --> 00:23:42,646 Me, me... 436 00:23:48,036 --> 00:23:49,185 Hey man, look. 437 00:23:49,944 --> 00:23:52,684 I'm so sorry I fucked your wife with my giant cock. 438 00:23:53,851 --> 00:23:55,990 I'm so not frightened by you. 439 00:23:56,113 --> 00:23:59,383 I have to be hung like a beer can, and I'm talking Guiness tap. 440 00:23:59,630 --> 00:24:02,511 Please, you're like one of those mini bottles of Crystal Geiser. 441 00:24:02,628 --> 00:24:05,879 Fuck you, I've seen you in the steam, I got you by a good inch. 442 00:24:06,534 --> 00:24:08,230 You care to make it interesting? 443 00:24:08,344 --> 00:24:09,348 How much? 444 00:24:09,449 --> 00:24:11,835 Your share of the Boo-yah when Nancy sells the crop. 445 00:24:12,206 --> 00:24:15,052 - That's a lot of cash. - Yeah? I've got a lot of dick. 446 00:24:15,264 --> 00:24:16,306 You're wrong, bitch. 447 00:24:22,516 --> 00:24:24,174 - You're a big talker - Oh yeah? 448 00:24:24,274 --> 00:24:25,714 Well I'll talk. 449 00:24:26,381 --> 00:24:28,926 - Winner and still champion. - Yeah, only in length. 450 00:24:29,042 --> 00:24:30,107 That's what counts, moron, 451 00:24:30,216 --> 00:24:32,683 circonference doesn't factor in a size war. 452 00:24:32,936 --> 00:24:35,375 Flesh doesn't count either, I'm a grower, not a shower. 453 00:24:35,539 --> 00:24:36,539 Wanna measure hard? 454 00:24:36,645 --> 00:24:39,016 Yeah, you're not gonna have my share without a fair fight. 455 00:24:39,149 --> 00:24:40,447 - Fine. - Alright. 456 00:24:41,834 --> 00:24:43,000 Come on. 457 00:24:47,772 --> 00:24:49,133 Occupied! 458 00:24:54,565 --> 00:24:56,651 - We took too many drugs. - Yes, yes, we did. 459 00:24:58,948 --> 00:25:01,316 We're having a great time, we're at the dump. 460 00:25:04,314 --> 00:25:05,451 Yeah. 461 00:25:07,220 --> 00:25:08,952 He wanted to see where the trash went. 462 00:25:15,438 --> 00:25:16,905 Okay, bye. 463 00:25:19,114 --> 00:25:20,952 This is one nice fucking neighborhood. 464 00:25:21,341 --> 00:25:23,780 - How long you live here? - Too long, shh, it's ringing. 465 00:25:23,992 --> 00:25:25,424 Looks like it's from a movie. 466 00:25:25,565 --> 00:25:27,491 That with the plants and trees, 467 00:25:27,898 --> 00:25:29,153 no chain-link, 468 00:25:30,090 --> 00:25:31,468 this place's got alarms? 469 00:25:31,591 --> 00:25:34,119 Celia, I'm outside your house. Where's my son's car? 470 00:25:34,295 --> 00:25:36,239 Why? It's in your driveway. 471 00:25:36,381 --> 00:25:38,044 Nancy, I told you I'd drive it home 472 00:25:38,144 --> 00:25:40,588 and I always try to be a woman of my word. 473 00:25:40,896 --> 00:25:43,476 Oh, you owe $37,50 for gas. 474 00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:46,250 Hello? 475 00:25:47,330 --> 00:25:48,903 Hello, Nancy? 476 00:25:52,951 --> 00:25:54,093 Shit. 477 00:25:56,556 --> 00:25:57,846 This ain't good. 478 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,641 Silas' phone, Celia speaking. 479 00:26:17,906 --> 00:26:21,352 Hey Nancy, I helped myself to some of your vodka, 480 00:26:21,582 --> 00:26:23,049 I hope you don't mind. 481 00:26:24,728 --> 00:26:26,866 Oh, and I borrowed some garden shears, 482 00:26:27,184 --> 00:26:30,719 you know they were really helpful, so thanks. 483 00:26:33,802 --> 00:26:37,178 I did this... for your own good, Nancy. 484 00:26:53,277 --> 00:26:55,911 He gonna be mad. 485 00:27:07,548 --> 00:27:09,738 [ www.seriessub.com ] 486 00:27:09,997 --> 00:27:11,690 Special thanks to Benj! 487 00:27:11,691 --> 00:27:13,335 Special thanks to ouazo 488 00:27:13,336 --> 00:27:15,138 Special thanks to Bbsiocnarf 489 00:27:15,139 --> 00:27:16,765 Special thanks to San-A