1 00:00:02,280 --> 00:00:03,793 Previously on Weeds. 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:06,155 Did you take something that doesn't belong to you? 3 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:07,514 - I want in. - That's him. 4 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:08,749 Shit. 5 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:11,756 Hey, what the hell, you can't do that. 6 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,991 I did this for your own good, Nancy. 7 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,548 - They want to send me to Iraq, Lupita. - Bye. 8 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:21,474 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 9 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,278 I need someone I trust to handle my money. 10 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:24,839 - What money? - For my commercials. 11 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:26,194 I'm the new Huskeroos girl. 12 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:27,918 - You were traded. - I was what? 13 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:31,276 Now, I bought your chit, you're about to grow me some shit. 14 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:34,511 The way I see it, you still owe me 150 G's, lady! 15 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:56,471 How long have I been asleep? 16 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,118 - Not long. - 22 hours. 17 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:01,158 - Shane. - What, like she wouldn't figure it out? 18 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:02,912 This is absolutely delicious. 19 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,468 - I make this. - Lupita, you're fired. 20 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,391 What? But I cooked! 21 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,277 I can't afford to pay you any more. 22 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,316 What if I tell the police what you do? 23 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:15,313 Then the guy I owe money to might decide to kill you. 24 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,110 Erm, maybe we should not discuss this 25 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,156 in front of the younger members of our audience. 26 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,151 I'm not keeping any secrets any more. 27 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:26,836 The kids need to know what's going on so they can be aware if there's danger. 28 00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:28,353 What kind of danger? 29 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,034 Big, scary men with guns who want a lot of money from Mommy, 30 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,236 so let's just be alert 31 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:36,756 and talk about how much money we can all raise now. 32 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,470 Andy, speak to me. 33 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,120 If you stake me the ten-grand buy-in, 34 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,078 there's a World Poker Classic at Commerce this week. 35 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,798 - Silas, what you got? - I can crack safes. 36 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,272 Too soon, my son. Too soon. Shane. 37 00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:00,955 I have a stock portfolio worth $2600. 38 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,759 - Cash it in. - But if I liquidate now, I pay a penalty. 39 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,035 Shane, now. 40 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,037 The three of you keep thinking. 41 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:15,953 Now, there's not much here in the way of assets, 42 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:19,271 but you do have Isabelle and her Huskeroos contract. 43 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:21,669 Now, that is a cash cow right there. 44 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,193 You got the cow part right. 45 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:26,670 Hey, that is no way to talk about your greatest asset. 46 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:30,389 If you have a lousy relationship with your income-generating child, 47 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,596 you need to turn that around right now. 48 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,433 Spend some time with her. Charm her. 49 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,351 You want sole custody. 50 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,717 - I do? - You do. 51 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,678 You're not the one that cupped her pubescent breasts 52 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:44,716 after a few too many chardonnays. 53 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,358 What? 54 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,953 - Never. - Well, just thought I'd float it out there, 55 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:52,393 see if it caught wind. 56 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,870 Doesn't matter. We'll get him. Allow me to illustrate. 57 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,637 This is your husband. 58 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,679 Watch how he struggles for the slightest hint of sustenance, 59 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:08,555 slouching toward a Bethlehem of mercy that never appears. 60 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:13,316 And just when he's about to resign himself to his miserable, doomed fate, 61 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:16,676 we allow the son of a bitch to escape with his life. 62 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:18,990 Over here, you little fucker. 63 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:25,589 In the end, he'll thank us for not crushing his sad, little testicles in a vice. 64 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,071 Do fish have testicles? 65 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,991 Fish have internal testicles. 66 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,348 Only real downer, besides the residual pain, 67 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,158 is the issue of warm-weather footwear. 68 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:39,312 I sport the flip-flop, the summer sandal, 69 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,358 I get stares. Children cry and run away. 70 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:45,238 - Can we go to the arcade now? - Well, Mr. Botwin... 71 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,198 when injuries such as yours may have rendered you unfit for duty in the past, 72 00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:50,953 - I'm afraid times have changed. - Hmm? What do you mean? 73 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:55,556 In case you haven't read a newspaper in four years, this country, your country, is at war. 74 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:59,599 Actually, technically, Operation "Iraqi Freedom" 75 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,433 is an extended military engagement. 76 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,112 War has not been declared. 77 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,156 Actually, technically, 78 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:09,550 authorisation for the use of military force has been given by Congress. 79 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,313 That's enough to activate your uncle here into service. 80 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:13,992 Yeah, I'm clearly not fit. 81 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,718 - You can walk, can't you? - Not in lockstep, no. 82 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:17,438 - I tend to weave now. - Didn't notice. 83 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,272 - I'll fail the drug test. - We'll clean you up. 84 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,715 - I'm gay. - We got a unit for that. 85 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,633 Look, son, truth is, you're never gonna see combat. 86 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:27,154 - We want to win this war. - It's not a war. 87 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:31,279 My point is, you're headed for a desk job, son. 88 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,909 So quit your whining and prepare to serve, cos we got you and we're not gonna let you go. 89 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,958 Now, you report back here at 0500 tomorrow morning 90 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:39,632 with these papers properly filled out. 91 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,234 You must bring with you a social security card, 92 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,276 a birth certificate, and a driver's licence. 93 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:49,878 Do not bring iPods, watches, jewellery, excessive cash, or any other valuables. 94 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,598 This is bullshit. 95 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,194 Welcome to the army, soldier. 96 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,316 All the MILF weed's destroyed? 97 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,914 - There's nothing. - I was gonna buy a boat. 98 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,673 Doug, can we just focus on me for a second, please? 99 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:05,591 - I'm in serious trouble. - All right. 100 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:08,831 Lots of cash, real quick, no boat. 101 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:10,395 OK. 102 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,954 - Why aren't you dressed? - Dana threw me out of the house. 103 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:16,917 I've been sleeping here in the office. 104 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,513 - She threw you out? - Yeah. 105 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,397 She found out that I was fucking Celia. 106 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,517 Celia? Jesus! 107 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,158 I'm repulsed. 108 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,394 Fascinated. 109 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:30,278 I need to hear about this. Not now, definitely later. 110 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:31,713 Now we need to focus. 111 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,156 How much could I raise if I liquidated all my stocks and bonds? 112 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,231 - You don't have stocks and bonds. - Yes, I do. 113 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,039 I have stocks and bonds. Judah left me stocks and bonds. 114 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:44,159 He did, but then you had me sell everything so you could start up the bakery. 115 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,435 - Everything? - There wasn't much. 116 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:47,873 Judah was lousy at playing the market. 117 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,599 I mean, a company that sells morning-after pills for dogs? 118 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:54,229 - You were the one advising him, Doug. - OK, that one did not come from me. 119 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:55,958 Clear dentures. Yeah, me. 120 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,474 But he went rogue on ARF-U 486. 121 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:02,235 - Anyway, you're broke again. - No, Doug, unacceptable. 122 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:05,357 There has to be something. There's always something. 123 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:09,319 How much money could I get if I sold my house? 124 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,675 Not much. The bubble's bursting in Agrestic. 125 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:15,070 Majestic next door, that's the new hot spot, with their chartered schools and mega-church. 126 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,799 - It's crucifying our property values. - How much, Doug? 127 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:21,953 If you even found a buyer, you can net maybe 50 grand. 128 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,918 But then any place you'd rent would be more than the mortgage you're paying now. 129 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,514 - It's not smart. - It's cash in hand. Let's do it. 130 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,716 - Where will you live? - I can only deal with one thing at a time. 131 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,917 If I deal with one thing at a time, I'm less inclined to shoot myself in the head. 132 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,754 Oh, don't do that. Your life insurance ran out a few weeks ago. 133 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,715 I sent you an e-mail. 134 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:43,190 Get it back, Doug. My kids may seriously need it soon. 135 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:45,559 I gotta go. 136 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,313 - Celia. - The cock wants what it wants. 137 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,516 5,000 square feet of raw space at 250 a foot is a good price. 138 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,397 Mm-hm. 139 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:58,313 I could retrofit the climate control, put three or four generators in, 140 00:07:58,400 --> 00:07:59,958 wouldn't have to worry about the sound. 141 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:03,999 Put the cover business up front for appearances. Secure the back for crops. 142 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,195 Mm-hm. 143 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:06,952 Downtown is supposed to be blowing up right now. 144 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:08,996 The lady said they're building a Whole Foods just up the block, 145 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,036 so you can get all that good gourmet shit you like. 146 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:14,032 Boy, looky here. How you like that view? 147 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:18,754 He gonna kill those nice plants. 148 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,149 Why you start smoking again? 149 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,800 I ain't seen you smoke since back when I was in junior high. 150 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:27,077 And, God damn. Mores, no less. 151 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:32,439 I started smoking, I was long and brown, like these cigarettes. 152 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,590 Everything has changed. 153 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:38,389 You don't like it, come on. Let's tell her we're gonna keep looking. 154 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,550 Can you grow here? 155 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,514 Hell, yeah. It's perfect. 156 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,068 Fucking shame it's all gonna be for U-Turn. 157 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,993 You let me worry about U-Turn. 158 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,598 Just grow. 159 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,752 How we doing out here? 160 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,910 We'll take it. 161 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,116 That toilet paper is like wiping yourself 162 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:05,716 - With a brown paper bag. - Are your... parts OK? 163 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,392 My parts are fine. 164 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,074 Can I go home now? This place is a pit. 165 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:13,709 No, it's not. It's... kitschy. 166 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,756 Like we're in film noir. 167 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:18,115 It's a walk on the wild side. 168 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,758 Didn't you like getting manicures? 169 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:22,877 - You wouldn't let me get the colour I wanted. - Black is not a colour. 170 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,269 - Tell that to black people. - I don't know any. 171 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,829 Maybe there's something good on television. 172 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:37,878 Over two sizzling hours of hot, young girl-on-girl action. 173 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:41,430 - Sweet. - No. No, you're not watching that. 174 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:46,676 - Might as well just go to bed. - Fine. 175 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:50,598 - Here. - How come I have to sleep on the cot? 176 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:53,433 Because I'm the mother, and you're the child. 177 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,516 Unless you wanted to share the bed. 178 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,068 We haven't done that since you were four. 179 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,913 - How fun! - Yeah, well, I'm not four. 180 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,560 And I don't have any desire to share a bed with my mother. 181 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,437 Why am I even here? 182 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,990 - Because we're spending time together. - But we don't like each other. 183 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,275 Maybe we just don't know each other very well. 184 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:17,399 No, this is a chance for us to improve our relationship. 185 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,995 - Mm. - I'll get in my bed. You get in your bed. 186 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:25,437 We'll shut off the lights, and we will really talk, OK? 187 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:29,671 That's a condom. 188 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:35,108 Pearl inlay on the fret boards. 189 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,839 That's handmade. It's a '56 Les Paul. 190 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:40,309 Should bring in about 3,000 bucks on eBay. 191 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,630 - You should have kept running. - Hey, let's keep hope alive. 192 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,473 I'm only going to be three hours away. It's on American soil. 193 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:47,312 I can come visit every weekend, 194 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,870 and you can hang out in my room whenever you feel sad. 195 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:53,757 Don't open the nightstand drawer. 196 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,831 Actually, your room isn't gonna be here. 197 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,949 I decided to put the house up for sale. 198 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:01,918 It's a good time to rent, with the market and all. 199 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,271 We all need to embrace change. 200 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,478 Yeah. 201 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:11,074 Hey, good luck in court today, champ. 202 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,476 Fingers crossed for a female judge. Cry if you can. 203 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,470 I'll keep that in mind. 204 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,035 It's good to embrace change, right? 205 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,359 Marvin. 206 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:05,476 Lady brings me seven grand. 207 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:10,353 - What I do with seven grand? - You wipe your ass with seven grand. 208 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:11,873 This is bullshit. 209 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,520 Marvin, go pick up one of her kids and break his leg. 210 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:15,999 It's all I've got. 211 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,640 I'm waiting on some PayPal payments. 212 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:22,395 I promise I'll have more for you to wipe your ass with soon. 213 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,755 You gonna work this off in trade. 214 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,239 What kind of trade? 215 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:30,108 White slave trade. 216 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:33,273 Here. 217 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:37,994 Go there. 218 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:41,231 Tell them I sent you. They gonna give you a package. 219 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,278 - Bring that package back to me. - A package of what? 220 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,635 A package of whatever the fuck I tell you to pick up, bitch! 221 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,314 OK, you don't have to yell at me. 222 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,595 - When do you need it? - Right now. 223 00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:53,989 My son's being sentenced today. 224 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,150 That's just sad. 225 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:59,789 You know, you should really get him in one of those after-school programmes 226 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,314 instead of letting him run all wild and shit. 227 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:05,790 - I'm really glad you understand. - I don't understand shit. 228 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,950 Move some stuff around. 229 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:09,917 I'll do my best. 230 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:16,955 - Why did you send her? - I wanted to see how she'd do. 231 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,236 Please talk to me. 232 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,995 Listen, I am really trying here. 233 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:39,870 Just sitting there like some little shitball. 234 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,435 - Can I help you? - My name is Miriam Walters. 235 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,512 I'm an officer with the State of California Child Protective Services. 236 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,670 Are you Ms. Celia "Hod-es"? 237 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,791 It's pronounced "Hodes". 238 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,952 May we have your permission to enter the premises? 239 00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,837 - What for? - I must warn you 240 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:01,876 that if you do not allow me entry into the premises, 241 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,837 I will return with a court order. 242 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:06,832 If you still refuse me entry, you may be subject to prosecution 243 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,148 under California state law, which... 244 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:11,118 All right, obviously, there's some mistake. 245 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,839 No, there isn't. I called them. 246 00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:19,632 Ah, you little jokester, you. 247 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:23,156 I must ask you once more, Ms. "Hod-es", do I have permission to enter the premises? 248 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,117 Sure. Enter away. 249 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:27,878 I have nothing to hide. 250 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,152 What are you writing? 251 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,993 I'm here to determine whether this is an unsuitable environment 252 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,036 in which to house a child. 253 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,554 There was a used condom in my bed. 254 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,198 That was not a condom. 255 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,555 - Then what was it? - A plastic wrapper. 256 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,835 With a reservoir tip? 257 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,835 Just because this establishment 258 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:54,038 may be on the lower end of the economic scale 259 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:57,032 does not mean that it's unsuitable. 260 00:14:57,120 --> 00:15:00,510 If you are suggesting that anything less than affluence 261 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:04,752 is somehow untoward, Ms. Walters, 262 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:07,479 well, I think that I need to... 263 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,438 Oh, yeah! Oh! 264 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:11,714 Fuck me harder! 265 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,392 ...speak to your supervisor. - Yeah. Come on, babe. 266 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,040 Fuck me harder! Fuck me harder! 267 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,076 - Yeah! Yeah! - Fuck me harder! 268 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,309 - Harder! - Yeah! 269 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,311 - Harder! Harder! - Yeah! 270 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:36,793 Hola. 271 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:43,999 U-Turn sent me. 272 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:46,196 I'm supposed to pick up a package. 273 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,911 U-Turn... 274 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,310 Para obtengo el paqueto. 275 00:15:56,720 --> 00:16:00,110 - Any chance you speak French? - Ven aquí. 276 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,318 You say U-Turn sends you? 277 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,392 Yeah, U-Turn. He sent me. I'm supposed to pick up a package. 278 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,234 Will you please tell him to open the door? 279 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:28,118 What's the matter, you don't speak Spanish? 280 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:29,553 No, I don't. 281 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:33,030 How can you live in Los Angeles and not know Spanish? 282 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,680 We're almost half the population here. 283 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:38,354 Por ejemplo, if I told you... 284 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:41,591 conozco a este hombre que se llama U-Turn... 285 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,069 would you not like that? 286 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,993 Erm, well, that depends. What does it mean? 287 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:50,789 It means that maybe I do know this man who calls himself U-Turn. 288 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,630 Then maybe you also have a package for me. 289 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,358 Maybe I do. 290 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,232 - Ta-da! - Oh... 291 00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,799 Er... 292 00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,552 I have to be in court right now, 293 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,234 so let's just pretend that I reached for it another few times, 294 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,675 and each time, you grabbed it away. So... 295 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,716 where does that leave us? 296 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,234 You ever get something for nothing in your life? 297 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,352 I don't think so. 298 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:17,910 And it ain't gonna happen for the first time here. 299 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:24,753 What do you want? 300 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:27,149 I want you to do the brick dance for me. 301 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:29,313 A brick dance? 302 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:33,837 You must dance to the great God of mota! 303 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:37,674 And if you do it right, then you get your brick. 304 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:40,832 And if I refuse? 305 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,956 No baila, no brick. 306 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,436 This is not a real brick dance. 307 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,114 Man, that's a shot-of-cheap-tequila dance. 308 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,115 Now show me a real brick dance. 309 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:16,799 You know what? That's a loose-joint dance, at best. 310 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,758 You know what? I been way too sweet with you. 311 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,798 If you will not do a real brick dance for me, 312 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,952 then I cannot give you the brick. 313 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,473 Mm-mm, won't happen. 314 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,714 Er, hold your horses, Pedro. 315 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,119 - Ooh, mami. 316 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,039 Oh. 317 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,870 My name is Guillermo, 318 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,678 not Pedro. 319 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,991 That was a real nice brick dance. 320 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,357 Tell your friend U-Turn, 321 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,670 you tell him he's a lawn jockey now. 322 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,113 Hasta luego. 323 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,679 Yeah. Adiós. 324 00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,874 - What the fuck is this? - Your pot. 325 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:03,839 He said to tell you that you're a lawn jockey now. 326 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:04,989 I'm not sure what that means, 327 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:09,312 but I figure you two have some sort of drug-dealer shorthand that I'm not privy to. 328 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,994 You were supposed to pick up a key of jack. 329 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,435 - Jack? - I had it all promised out. 330 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,592 What the fuck am I supposed to do with this? 331 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,796 That would be a euphemism for... 332 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,074 heroin? 333 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,277 I'm gonna kill that bean-farting motherfucker. 334 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:28,750 - This is your fault, bitch! - My fault? 335 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,308 Bet your ass. And you gonna make it right too. 336 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,191 Look... 337 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:37,113 I'm not a "gangsta". All right? 338 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,919 You never told me what I was supposed to be picking up. 339 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,718 There's really only so much 340 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,792 you can reasonably expect from me in these situations. 341 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,917 I did a fucking brick dance for you, OK? 342 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,831 I got a parking ticket. 343 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,275 - A brick dance? - I did what you told me to. 344 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:57,957 Let's just sit down like rational people and start dialling down my debt. 345 00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,519 Are you done? 346 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:07,152 Chop that shit up. Move it. Bring me back twelve-fi'. 347 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:11,358 Twelve-five? No way I'm gonna get twelve-five for a brick. 348 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:12,873 You got four days. 349 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:17,033 And I'm taking the money that I gave that fucking wetback for my jack, 350 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:18,917 and I'm adding it onto your tab. 351 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,230 Yeah, I'm not stupid, OK. I know what this is worth, 352 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,436 and it's not twelve-five. Eight, maybe. 353 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:24,873 Thirteen! 354 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,155 I'm mad, so now I gotta fuck shit up. 355 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,152 I don't got any more shit to fuck up, OK? 356 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,549 I've got kids. I've got bills. 357 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,428 How am I supposed to put food on my table if you keep upping my debt? 358 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:42,794 Get a fucking job. 359 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:50,470 Young man, the theft you committed of those surveillance cameras 360 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,552 was more than just a simple act of vandalism. 361 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,596 It was a slap in the face to this community 362 00:21:55,680 --> 00:22:00,435 and the citizens who have dedicated their time ridding Agrestic of drugs. 363 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,715 So I'm inclined to make an example of you 364 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,189 and your wanton disregard for civic property. 365 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,633 Excuse me, Judge. 366 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,029 I'd like to speak out on behalf of my son. 367 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:11,315 - He's normally very responsible... - Save it, Mrs. Botwin. 368 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,550 Mrs. Hodes has already beaten you to the punch. 369 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:15,676 She's explained that your family has gone through enough 370 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,479 and asked me to go easy on the boy. 371 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:23,588 Silas Botwin, you are hereby sentenced to six months of community service. 372 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:28,629 Both you and your mother owe Mrs. Hodes a great deal of gratitude. 373 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,800 I think we really need to talk. 374 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,950 Go fuck yourself, Celia. 375 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,796 All right, listen up! 376 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,713 It's my sorry-ass job to inform you ass-felching, 377 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,473 salad-tossing, cum-guzzling faggots 378 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,199 that that butt-ugly face you're staring at this very moment 379 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:51,273 is one of the most important goddamn faces you'll ever lay your eyes upon. 380 00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:53,430 That is your battle buddy. 381 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,432 Your battle buddy is like a Siamese twin. 382 00:22:56,520 --> 00:23:00,513 He shits, you shit. He fucks up, you fuck up. 383 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,398 He goes down, you go down. 384 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,199 - All right, people. - This is just like 'Nam. 385 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:07,918 Yeah, you got that right. 386 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,230 I can't wait to kill me some terrorists. 387 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:13,392 Are you kidding me? This isn't about terrorism. 388 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:17,553 We are just pawns in a chess game for control of the oil production. 389 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,598 Who cares? Bring it on, man. 390 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:24,753 - Please don't talk to me any more. - You're gonna shit when I shit. 391 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:26,319 Six weeks from today, 392 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,472 this entire troop of girl scouts will be shipped off to Iraq. 393 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,118 So you best pay close attention 394 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,351 to every goddamn word that comes out of my godly mouth. 395 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:38,115 Er, Sergeant Bilko, hi. I'm in the wrong place. They promised me a desk job... 396 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,192 Who in the hell gave you permission to break rank, you flaccid little dick? 397 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:42,633 Yeah, I just wanted to make sure... 398 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:46,110 They promise everybody a desk job, you useless twat! 399 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,555 - Yeah, I have eight toes. - And I got four dicks! 400 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:52,155 So you better fall back in line before I use one of them to fuck you up the ass with! 401 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,152 Now fall back in line, Botwin! 402 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,994 You people are losers. You're scumbags, and I am God. 403 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,878 This is gonna be great. 404 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,474 ...because I won't be responsible when you get to Iraq. 405 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:07,711 And if you don't listen to me, guess what - you will die! 406 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,473 What are you looking at, you piece of shit? 407 00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:16,636 Well, in light of this incident, we intend to petition the judge 408 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,757 and ask that Ms. Hodes only have access to her daughter, Isabelle, 409 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:23,389 on weekends, at the house, in the presence of Mr. Hodes. 410 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,277 That's outrageous. 411 00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:28,272 Weekends at the house unsupervised by Mr. Hodes. 412 00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:30,351 - Nope. - Fine. 413 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,238 Fine? What do you mean, fine? 414 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:34,719 I am the mother. 415 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,553 Why aren't his internal fish balls in a vice? 416 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,428 - What happened to the fish? - The fish gasps when the cow gives milk. 417 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,397 You dried up the cow. 418 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,675 Oh, so now I'm the fish. 419 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:47,716 What the hell are they talking about? 420 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,189 She's dumping your wife because she doesn't think she'll get paid. 421 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,555 - I am not a fish, you hear me? - Oh, this is great. 422 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:54,596 I am nobody's fish. 423 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,830 She's right, you know. She's not a fish. 424 00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:58,990 She just drinks like one. 425 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,593 Fuck you all. 426 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,070 You want me out of your life. 427 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:19,752 Fine. 428 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,798 I am out of your life. 429 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,638 - Can we talk about this? - No, we can't. 430 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,995 Silas, I told you, this is too much. 431 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:43,877 Make the bags lighter, OK? 432 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,952 Hey! Bidding's up to $2800 on Uncle Andy's guitar. 433 00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:48,917 That's great, sweetie. 434 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,753 - I was just trying... - To what, Silas, help me? 435 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:53,832 No, didn't help. 436 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:56,914 Matter of fact, made it worse, a lot worse. 437 00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,150 But I'll tell you how you can help me now. 438 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:02,198 Make the bags lighter, OK? 439 00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:06,636 - Pizza. - Wait here. I'll get it. 440 00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,076 - Nancy Botwin? - Yes. 441 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,151 Agent Fundis, DEA. 442 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,435 I'm here to talk about Peter Scottson.