1 00:00:02,077 --> 00:00:03,662 Previously on Weeds... 2 00:00:03,746 --> 00:00:06,123 Did you take something that doesn't belong to you? 3 00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:07,541 - I want in. - That's him. 4 00:00:07,625 --> 00:00:08,834 Shit. 5 00:00:09,752 --> 00:00:11,962 Hey, what the hell, you can't do that. 6 00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:15,341 I did this for your own good, Nancy. 7 00:00:15,424 --> 00:00:18,010 - They want to send me to Iraq, Lupita. - Bye. 8 00:00:18,093 --> 00:00:22,097 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 9 00:00:22,181 --> 00:00:23,974 I need someone I trust to handle my money. 10 00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:25,601 - What money? - For my commercials. 11 00:00:25,684 --> 00:00:27,019 I'm the new Huskeroos girl. 12 00:00:27,102 --> 00:00:28,812 - You were traded. - I was what? 13 00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:32,316 Now, I bought your chit, you're about to grow me some shit. 14 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:35,694 The way I see it, you still owe me 150 G's, lady! 15 00:00:56,423 --> 00:01:00,010 ♪ La colina tapizada 16 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:02,846 ♪ Con cajas, todas son igual 17 00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:08,269 ♪ Reja blanca y un tapete que te invita a pasar 18 00:01:08,352 --> 00:01:10,854 ♪ Una verde, otra amarilla 19 00:01:10,938 --> 00:01:13,440 ♪ Yotra que están a punto de pintar 20 00:01:13,524 --> 00:01:19,029 ♪ Pero todas tienen algo que las hace ver igual 21 00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,824 ♪ Yla gente de las casas 22 00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:24,618 ♪ Todos van a la universidad 23 00:01:24,702 --> 00:01:29,874 ♪ Para convertirse en alguien que todos puedan respetar 24 00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:35,421 ♪ Se convierten en doctores, abogados, listos a pelear 25 00:01:35,504 --> 00:01:41,552 ♪ Licenciados con su traje, todos lucen siempre igual ♪ 26 00:01:59,236 --> 00:02:01,155 How long have I been asleep? 27 00:02:01,238 --> 00:02:02,865 - Not long. - 22 hours. 28 00:02:02,948 --> 00:02:06,035 - Shane. - What, like she wouldn't figure it out? 29 00:02:06,118 --> 00:02:07,870 This is absolutely delicious. 30 00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:10,539 - I make this. - Lupita, you're fired. 31 00:02:10,623 --> 00:02:12,541 What? But I cooked! 32 00:02:12,625 --> 00:02:14,501 I can't afford to pay you any more. 33 00:02:14,585 --> 00:02:16,629 What if I tell the police what you do? 34 00:02:16,712 --> 00:02:20,799 Then the guy I owe money to might decide to kill you. 35 00:02:21,467 --> 00:02:23,719 Erm, maybe we should not discuss this 36 00:02:23,802 --> 00:02:25,846 in front of the younger members of our audience. 37 00:02:25,930 --> 00:02:27,932 I'm not keeping any secrets any more. 38 00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:32,811 The kids need to know what's going on so they can be aware if there's danger. 39 00:02:32,895 --> 00:02:34,396 What kind of danger? 40 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:37,191 Big, scary men with guns who want a lot of money from Mommy, 41 00:02:37,274 --> 00:02:39,485 so let's just be alert 42 00:02:39,568 --> 00:02:43,155 and talk about how much money we can all raise now. 43 00:02:43,656 --> 00:02:45,991 Andy, speak to me. 44 00:02:46,075 --> 00:02:48,744 If you stake me the ten-grand buy-in, 45 00:02:48,827 --> 00:02:51,830 there's a World Poker Classic at Commerce this week. 46 00:02:56,794 --> 00:02:59,880 - Silas, what you got? - I can crack safes. 47 00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:04,552 Too soon, my son. Too soon. Shane. 48 00:03:04,635 --> 00:03:08,389 I have a stock portfolio worth $2600. 49 00:03:08,472 --> 00:03:11,308 - Cash it in. - But if I liquidate now, I pay a penalty. 50 00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:13,686 Shane, now. 51 00:03:19,108 --> 00:03:20,985 The three of you keep thinking. 52 00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:24,029 Now, there's not much here in the way of assets, 53 00:03:24,113 --> 00:03:27,491 but you do have Isabelle and her Huskeroos contract. 54 00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:29,994 Now, that is a cash cow right there. 55 00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:31,579 You got the cow part right. 56 00:03:31,662 --> 00:03:35,207 Hey, that is no way to talk about your greatest asset. 57 00:03:35,291 --> 00:03:39,086 If you have a lousy relationship with your income-generating child, 58 00:03:39,169 --> 00:03:41,380 you need to turn that around right now. 59 00:03:41,463 --> 00:03:44,341 Spend some time with her. Charm her. 60 00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:46,343 You want sole custody. 61 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,804 - I do? - You do. 62 00:03:48,888 --> 00:03:51,891 You're not the one that cupped her pubescent breasts 63 00:03:51,974 --> 00:03:54,018 after a few too many chardonnays. 64 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,728 What? 65 00:03:57,646 --> 00:04:00,524 - Never. - Well, just thought I'd float it out there, 66 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:02,026 see if it caught wind. 67 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:05,654 Doesn't matter. We'll get him. Allow me to illustrate. 68 00:04:06,655 --> 00:04:08,532 This is your husband. 69 00:04:09,742 --> 00:04:13,787 Watch how he struggles for the slightest hint of sustenance, 70 00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:18,876 slouching toward a Bethlehem of mercy that never appears. 71 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:23,839 And just when he's about to resign himself to his miserable, doomed fate, 72 00:04:23,923 --> 00:04:27,343 we allow the son of a bitch to escape with his life. 73 00:04:27,426 --> 00:04:29,762 Over here, you little fucker. 74 00:04:31,555 --> 00:04:36,644 In the end, he'll thank us for not crushing his sad, little testicles in a vice. 75 00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:39,230 Do fish have testicles? 76 00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:41,232 Fish have internal testicles. 77 00:04:43,192 --> 00:04:45,778 Only real downer, besides the residual pain, 78 00:04:45,861 --> 00:04:47,655 is the issue of warm-weather footwear. 79 00:04:47,738 --> 00:04:50,950 I sport the flip-flop, the summer sandal, 80 00:04:51,033 --> 00:04:54,119 I get stares. Children cry and run away. 81 00:04:54,203 --> 00:04:57,122 - Can we go to the arcade now? - Well, Mr Botwin... 82 00:04:57,206 --> 00:05:00,209 when injuries such as yours may have rendered you unfit for duty in the past, 83 00:05:00,292 --> 00:05:03,087 - I'm afraid times have changed. - Hmm? What do you mean? 84 00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:07,883 In case you haven't read a newspaper in four years, this country, your country, is at war. 85 00:05:07,967 --> 00:05:12,096 Actually, technically, Operation "Iraqi Freedom" 86 00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:15,057 is an extended military engagement. 87 00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:16,809 War has not been declared. 88 00:05:16,892 --> 00:05:18,936 Actually, technically, 89 00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:22,481 authorisation for the use of military force has been given by Congress. 90 00:05:22,565 --> 00:05:25,359 That's enough to activate your uncle here into service. 91 00:05:25,442 --> 00:05:27,111 Yeah, I'm clearly not fit. 92 00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:28,904 - You can walk, can't you? - Not in lockstep, no. 93 00:05:28,988 --> 00:05:30,698 - I tend to weave now. - Didn't notice. 94 00:05:30,781 --> 00:05:32,616 - I'll fail the drug test. - We'll clean you up. 95 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:35,160 - I'm gay. - We got a unit for that. 96 00:05:35,244 --> 00:05:38,205 Look, son, truth is, you're never gonna see combat. 97 00:05:38,289 --> 00:05:40,833 - We want to win this war. - It's not a war. 98 00:05:40,916 --> 00:05:45,129 My point is, you're headed for a desk job, son. 99 00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:48,924 So quit your whining and prepare to serve, cos we got you and we're not gonna let you go. 100 00:05:49,008 --> 00:05:52,094 Now, you report back here at 0500 tomorrow morning 101 00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:53,846 with these papers properly filled out. 102 00:05:53,929 --> 00:05:56,557 You must bring with you a social security card, 103 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:58,684 a birth certificate, and a driver's licence. 104 00:05:58,767 --> 00:06:04,523 Do not bring iPods, watches, jewellery, excessive cash, or any other valuables. 105 00:06:04,607 --> 00:06:06,317 This is bullshit. 106 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,028 Welcome to the army, soldier. 107 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:13,324 All the MILF weed's destroyed? 108 00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:16,035 - There's nothing. - I was gonna buy a boat. 109 00:06:16,118 --> 00:06:18,913 Doug, can we just focus on me for a second, please? 110 00:06:18,996 --> 00:06:20,915 - I'm in serious trouble. - All right. 111 00:06:20,998 --> 00:06:24,293 Lots of cash, real quick, no boat. 112 00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:25,920 OK. 113 00:06:27,963 --> 00:06:30,674 - Why aren't you dressed? - Dana threw me out of the house. 114 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,718 I've been sleeping here in the office. 115 00:06:32,801 --> 00:06:34,386 - She threw you out? - Yeah. 116 00:06:34,470 --> 00:06:36,347 She found out that I was fucking Celia. 117 00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:39,600 Celia? Jesus! 118 00:06:39,683 --> 00:06:41,310 I'm repulsed. 119 00:06:42,394 --> 00:06:43,646 Fascinated. 120 00:06:43,729 --> 00:06:46,649 I need to hear about this. Not now, definitely later. 121 00:06:46,732 --> 00:06:48,150 Now we need to focus. 122 00:06:48,234 --> 00:06:51,737 How much could I raise if I liquidated all my stocks and bonds? 123 00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:53,906 - You don't have stocks and bonds. - Yes, I do. 124 00:06:53,989 --> 00:06:56,825 I have stocks and bonds. Judah left me stocks and bonds. 125 00:06:56,909 --> 00:07:01,121 He did, but then you had me sell everything so you could start up the bakery. 126 00:07:01,205 --> 00:07:03,499 - Everything? - There wasn't much. 127 00:07:03,582 --> 00:07:05,000 Judah was lousy at playing the market. 128 00:07:05,084 --> 00:07:07,836 I mean, a company that sells morning-after pills for dogs? 129 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:11,632 - You were the one advising him, Doug. - OK, that one did not come from me. 130 00:07:11,715 --> 00:07:13,425 Clear dentures. Yeah, me. 131 00:07:13,509 --> 00:07:16,053 But he went rogue on ARF-U 486. 132 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:19,974 - Anyway, you're broke again. - No, Doug, unacceptable. 133 00:07:20,057 --> 00:07:23,227 There has to be something. There's always something. 134 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:27,356 How much money could I get if I sold my house? 135 00:07:27,439 --> 00:07:29,817 Not much. The bubble's bursting in Agrestic. 136 00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:33,362 Majestic next door, that's the new hot spot, with their chartered schools and mega-church. 137 00:07:33,445 --> 00:07:36,198 - It's crucifying our property values. - How much, Doug? 138 00:07:36,282 --> 00:07:40,536 If you even found a buyer, you can net maybe 50 grand. 139 00:07:40,619 --> 00:07:43,622 But then any place you'd rent would be more than the mortgage you're paying now. 140 00:07:43,706 --> 00:07:46,333 - It's not smart. - It's cash in hand. Let's do it. 141 00:07:46,417 --> 00:07:48,627 - Where will you live? - I can only deal with one thing at a time. 142 00:07:48,711 --> 00:07:51,964 If I deal with one thing at a time, I'm less inclined to shoot myself in the head. 143 00:07:52,047 --> 00:07:55,968 Oh, don't do that. Your life insurance ran out a few weeks ago. 144 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:59,054 I sent you an e-mail. 145 00:07:59,138 --> 00:08:02,683 Get it back, Doug. My kids may seriously need it soon. 146 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,144 I gotta go. 147 00:08:06,270 --> 00:08:09,064 - Celia. - The cock wants what it wants. 148 00:08:10,024 --> 00:08:13,444 5,000 square feet of raw space at 250 a foot is a good price. 149 00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,404 Mm-hm. 150 00:08:15,487 --> 00:08:18,449 I could retrofit the climate control, put three or four generators in, 151 00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:20,159 wouldn't have to worry about the sound. 152 00:08:20,242 --> 00:08:24,371 Put the cover business up front for appearances. Secure the back for crops. 153 00:08:24,455 --> 00:08:25,623 Mm-hm. 154 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,458 Downtown is supposed to be blowing up right now. 155 00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:29,585 The lady said they're building a Whole Foods just up the block, 156 00:08:29,668 --> 00:08:31,712 so you can get all that good gourmet shit you like. 157 00:08:31,795 --> 00:08:34,840 Boy, looky here. How you like that view? 158 00:08:37,218 --> 00:08:39,762 He gonna kill those nice plants. 159 00:08:39,845 --> 00:08:42,264 Why you start smoking again? 160 00:08:42,348 --> 00:08:45,017 I ain't seen you smoke since back when I was in junior high. 161 00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:48,437 And, God damn. Mores, no less. 162 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:54,026 I started smoking, I was long and brown, like these cigarettes. 163 00:08:54,109 --> 00:08:56,278 Everything has changed. 164 00:08:56,362 --> 00:09:00,241 You don't like it, come on. Let's tell her we're gonna keep looking. 165 00:09:00,324 --> 00:09:02,493 Can you grow here? 166 00:09:04,954 --> 00:09:07,665 Hell, yeah. It's perfect. 167 00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:10,334 Fucking shame it's all gonna be for U-Turn. 168 00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:13,379 You let me worry about U-Turn. 169 00:09:14,463 --> 00:09:16,090 Just grow. 170 00:09:17,550 --> 00:09:19,385 How we doing out here? 171 00:09:19,468 --> 00:09:21,637 We'll take it. 172 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,931 That toilet paper is like wiping yourself 173 00:09:24,014 --> 00:09:28,727 - with a brown paper bag. - Are your... parts OK? 174 00:09:28,811 --> 00:09:30,479 My parts are fine. 175 00:09:30,563 --> 00:09:33,274 Can I go home now? This place is a pit. 176 00:09:33,357 --> 00:09:37,069 No, it's not. It's... kitschy. 177 00:09:37,152 --> 00:09:39,196 Like we're in film noir. 178 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,657 It's a walk on the wild side. 179 00:09:41,740 --> 00:09:43,367 Didn't you like getting manicures? 180 00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:46,620 - You wouldn't let me get the colour I wanted. - Black is not a colour. 181 00:09:46,704 --> 00:09:49,123 - Tell that to black people. - I don't know any. 182 00:09:50,332 --> 00:09:52,835 Maybe there's something good on television. 183 00:09:57,882 --> 00:10:02,261 Over two sizzling hours of hot, young girl-on-girl action. 184 00:10:02,344 --> 00:10:05,973 - Sweet. - No. No, you're not watching that. 185 00:10:07,850 --> 00:10:11,437 - Might as well just go to bed. - Fine. 186 00:10:12,438 --> 00:10:15,524 - Here. - How come I have to sleep on the cot? 187 00:10:15,608 --> 00:10:18,485 Because I'm the mother, and you're the child. 188 00:10:19,236 --> 00:10:22,740 Unless you wanted to share the bed. 189 00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:25,409 We haven't done that since you were four. 190 00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:28,370 - How fun! - Yeah, well, I'm not four. 191 00:10:28,454 --> 00:10:31,123 And I don't have any desire to share a bed with my mother. 192 00:10:31,207 --> 00:10:33,083 Why am I even here? 193 00:10:33,167 --> 00:10:36,795 - Because we're spending time together. - But we don't like each other. 194 00:10:36,879 --> 00:10:39,173 Maybe we just don't know each other very well. 195 00:10:39,256 --> 00:10:43,469 No, this is a chance for us to improve our relationship. 196 00:10:43,552 --> 00:10:47,223 - Mm. - I'll get in my bed. You get in your bed. 197 00:10:47,306 --> 00:10:51,852 We'll shut off the lights, and we will really talk, OK? 198 00:10:54,188 --> 00:10:56,273 That's a condom. 199 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,946 Pearl inlay on the fret boards. 200 00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:04,782 That's handmade. It's a '56 Les Paul. 201 00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:07,368 Should bring in about 3,000 bucks on eBay. 202 00:11:07,451 --> 00:11:09,787 - You should have kept running. - Hey, let's keep hope alive. 203 00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:12,748 I'm only going to be three hours away. It's on American soil. 204 00:11:12,831 --> 00:11:14,667 I can come visit every weekend, 205 00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:18,379 and you can hang out in my room whenever you feel sad. 206 00:11:19,505 --> 00:11:21,382 Don't open the nightstand drawer. 207 00:11:21,465 --> 00:11:23,551 Actually, your room isn't gonna be here. 208 00:11:24,385 --> 00:11:26,804 I decided to put the house up for sale. 209 00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:29,890 It's a good time to rent, with the market and all. 210 00:11:31,392 --> 00:11:33,394 We all need to embrace change. 211 00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:36,730 Yeah. 212 00:11:36,814 --> 00:11:39,441 Hey, good luck in court today, champ. 213 00:12:01,463 --> 00:12:04,884 Fingers crossed for a female judge. Cry if you can. 214 00:12:06,886 --> 00:12:09,054 I'll keep that in mind. 215 00:12:15,686 --> 00:12:17,980 It's good to embrace change, right? 216 00:12:30,492 --> 00:12:31,869 Marvin. 217 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:36,165 Lady brings me seven grand. 218 00:12:36,999 --> 00:12:41,253 - What I do with seven grand? - You wipe your ass with seven grand. 219 00:12:41,337 --> 00:12:42,838 This is bullshit. 220 00:12:42,922 --> 00:12:45,591 Marvin, go pick up one of her kids and break his leg. 221 00:12:45,674 --> 00:12:47,134 It's all I've got. 222 00:12:47,218 --> 00:12:49,887 I'm waiting on some PayPal payments. 223 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:53,807 I promise I'll have more for you to wipe your ass with soon. 224 00:12:53,891 --> 00:12:56,268 You gonna work this off in trade. 225 00:12:56,352 --> 00:12:57,811 What kind of trade? 226 00:12:57,895 --> 00:13:01,857 White slave trade. 227 00:13:03,734 --> 00:13:05,152 Here. 228 00:13:08,739 --> 00:13:10,074 Go there. 229 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:13,452 Tell them I sent you. They gonna give you a package. 230 00:13:13,536 --> 00:13:16,622 - Bring that package back to me. - A package of what? 231 00:13:16,705 --> 00:13:19,083 A package of whatever the fuck I tell you to pick up, bitch! 232 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,877 OK, you don't have to yell at me. 233 00:13:21,961 --> 00:13:24,255 - When do you need it? - Right now. 234 00:13:24,338 --> 00:13:26,757 My son's being sentenced today. 235 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,009 That's just sad. 236 00:13:29,093 --> 00:13:32,805 You know, you should really get him in one of those after-school programmes 237 00:13:32,888 --> 00:13:35,432 instead of letting him run all wild and shit. 238 00:13:35,516 --> 00:13:39,061 - I'm really glad you understand. - I don't understand shit. 239 00:13:39,144 --> 00:13:41,313 Move some stuff around. 240 00:13:41,397 --> 00:13:43,357 I'll do my best. 241 00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:50,698 - Why did you send her? - I wanted to see how she'd do. 242 00:14:01,375 --> 00:14:03,502 Please talk to me. 243 00:14:06,005 --> 00:14:08,465 Listen, I am really trying here. 244 00:14:12,428 --> 00:14:14,597 Just sitting there like some little shitball. 245 00:14:18,976 --> 00:14:21,437 - Can I help you? - My name is Miriam Walters. 246 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:24,648 I'm an officer with the State of California Child Protective Services. 247 00:14:24,732 --> 00:14:26,901 Are you Ms Celia "Hod-es"? 248 00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:30,154 It's pronounced "Hodes". 249 00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:33,449 May we have your permission to enter the premises? 250 00:14:33,532 --> 00:14:35,409 - What for? - I must warn you 251 00:14:35,492 --> 00:14:37,536 that if you do not allow me entry into the premises, 252 00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:39,580 I will return with a court order. 253 00:14:39,663 --> 00:14:42,708 If you still refuse me entry, you may be subject to prosecution 254 00:14:42,791 --> 00:14:44,084 under California state law, which... 255 00:14:44,168 --> 00:14:47,171 All right, obviously, there's some mistake. 256 00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:50,007 No, there isn't. I called them. 257 00:14:52,843 --> 00:14:56,055 Ah, you little jokester, you. 258 00:14:56,138 --> 00:14:59,725 I must ask you once more, Ms "Hod-es", do I have permission to enter the premises? 259 00:14:59,808 --> 00:15:01,769 Sure. Enter away. 260 00:15:02,853 --> 00:15:04,647 I have nothing to hide. 261 00:15:08,484 --> 00:15:10,152 What are you writing? 262 00:15:10,236 --> 00:15:13,113 I'm here to determine whether this is an unsuitable environment 263 00:15:13,197 --> 00:15:15,241 in which to house a child. 264 00:15:15,324 --> 00:15:17,868 There was a used condom in my bed. 265 00:15:17,952 --> 00:15:19,578 That was not a condom. 266 00:15:19,662 --> 00:15:22,039 - Then what was it? - A plastic wrapper. 267 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,416 With a reservoir tip? 268 00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:27,545 Just because this establishment 269 00:15:27,628 --> 00:15:31,924 may be on the lower end of the economic scale 270 00:15:32,007 --> 00:15:35,052 does not mean that it's unsuitable. 271 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:38,681 If you are suggesting that anything less than affluence 272 00:15:38,764 --> 00:15:43,102 is somehow untoward, Ms Walters, 273 00:15:43,185 --> 00:15:45,938 well, I think that I need to... 274 00:15:46,021 --> 00:15:49,024 Oh, yeah! Oh! 275 00:15:49,108 --> 00:15:50,359 Fuck me harder! 276 00:15:50,442 --> 00:15:52,111 ...speak to your supervisor. - Yeah. Come on, babe. 277 00:15:52,194 --> 00:15:54,864 Fuck me harder! Fuck me harder! 278 00:15:54,947 --> 00:15:56,991 - Yeah! Yeah! - Fuck me harder! 279 00:15:57,074 --> 00:15:58,284 - Harder! - Yeah! 280 00:15:58,367 --> 00:16:00,369 - Harder! Harder! - Yeah! 281 00:16:14,925 --> 00:16:16,510 Hola. 282 00:16:22,558 --> 00:16:24,018 U- Turn sent me. 283 00:16:24,101 --> 00:16:26,312 I'm supposed to pick up a package. 284 00:16:29,315 --> 00:16:31,233 U- Turn... 285 00:16:31,317 --> 00:16:34,778 Para obtengo el paqueto. 286 00:16:37,281 --> 00:16:40,826 - Any chance you speak French? - Ven aquí. 287 00:16:54,006 --> 00:16:55,633 You say U-Turn sends you? 288 00:16:55,716 --> 00:16:58,844 Yeah, U- Turn. He sent me. I'm supposed to pick up a package. 289 00:17:04,475 --> 00:17:07,019 Will you please tell him to open the door? 290 00:17:07,102 --> 00:17:10,022 What's the matter, you don't speak Spanish? 291 00:17:10,105 --> 00:17:11,523 No, I don't. 292 00:17:11,607 --> 00:17:15,152 How can you live in Los Angeles and not know Spanish? 293 00:17:15,236 --> 00:17:17,905 We're almost half the population here. 294 00:17:17,988 --> 00:17:20,699 Por ejemplo, if I told you... 295 00:17:20,783 --> 00:17:24,078 conozco a este hombre que se llama U-Turn... 296 00:17:24,161 --> 00:17:26,664 would you not like that? 297 00:17:26,747 --> 00:17:29,708 Erm, well, that depends. What does it mean? 298 00:17:29,792 --> 00:17:33,671 It means that maybe I do know this man who calls himself U-Turn. 299 00:17:34,296 --> 00:17:36,632 Then maybe you also have a package for me. 300 00:17:36,715 --> 00:17:38,425 Maybe I do. 301 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,428 - Ta-da! - Oh... 302 00:17:41,512 --> 00:17:43,055 Er... 303 00:17:43,138 --> 00:17:44,890 I have to be in court right now, 304 00:17:44,974 --> 00:17:47,685 so let's just pretend that I reached for it another few times, 305 00:17:47,768 --> 00:17:50,229 and each time, you grabbed it away. So... 306 00:17:50,312 --> 00:17:52,356 where does that leave us? 307 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:54,984 You ever get something for nothing in your life? 308 00:17:56,402 --> 00:17:58,237 I don't think so. 309 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:01,949 And it ain't gonna happen for the first time here. 310 00:18:07,663 --> 00:18:09,081 What do you want? 311 00:18:09,164 --> 00:18:11,584 I want you to do the brick dance for me. 312 00:18:12,418 --> 00:18:13,836 A brick dance? 313 00:18:13,919 --> 00:18:18,549 You must dance to the great god of mota! 314 00:18:18,632 --> 00:18:22,553 And if you do it right, then you get your brick. 315 00:18:24,179 --> 00:18:25,848 And if I refuse? 316 00:18:25,931 --> 00:18:28,058 No baila, no brick. 317 00:18:41,989 --> 00:18:44,200 This is not a real brick dance. 318 00:18:44,283 --> 00:18:46,994 Man, that's a shot-of-cheap-tequila dance. 319 00:18:47,745 --> 00:18:50,122 Now show me a real brick dance. 320 00:18:59,131 --> 00:19:03,344 You know what? That's a loose-joint dance, at best. 321 00:19:03,427 --> 00:19:06,430 You know what? I been way too sweet with you. 322 00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:09,600 If you will not do a real brick dance for me, 323 00:19:09,683 --> 00:19:12,895 then I cannot give you the brick. 324 00:19:12,978 --> 00:19:14,480 Mm-mm, won't happen. 325 00:19:19,401 --> 00:19:22,029 Er, hold your horses, Pedro. 326 00:19:33,749 --> 00:19:36,001 ♪ Well, hold on, baby 327 00:19:36,085 --> 00:19:38,003 ♪ Let's sing it again 328 00:19:38,837 --> 00:19:43,342 ♪ Let's just pretend that we go all the way back 329 00:19:43,425 --> 00:19:46,136 ♪ Don't tell nobody 330 00:19:46,220 --> 00:19:48,222 ♪ It's just me 331 00:19:49,139 --> 00:19:52,810 ♪ This shit is free and I got all that you need 332 00:19:54,228 --> 00:19:56,355 ♪ Why are we whispering? 333 00:19:56,438 --> 00:19:58,649 ♪ Is my face red? 334 00:19:58,732 --> 00:20:00,276 ♪ Is it me instead 335 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,112 - # Layin'awake inside your bed? - Ooh, mami. 336 00:20:03,195 --> 00:20:06,949 ♪ You said, I know what you need 337 00:20:07,032 --> 00:20:09,743 ♪ It's a nosebleed 338 00:20:09,827 --> 00:20:11,370 Oh. 339 00:20:15,124 --> 00:20:17,459 My name is Guillermo, 340 00:20:17,543 --> 00:20:19,336 not Pedro. 341 00:20:21,755 --> 00:20:23,841 That was a real nice brick dance. 342 00:20:29,555 --> 00:20:31,515 Tell your friend U-Turn, 343 00:20:31,599 --> 00:20:33,934 you tell him he's a lawn jockey now. 344 00:20:36,979 --> 00:20:38,564 Hasta luego. 345 00:20:38,647 --> 00:20:40,190 Yeah. Adiós. 346 00:20:48,199 --> 00:20:50,826 - What the fuck is this? - Your pot. 347 00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:54,955 He said to tell you that you're a lawn jockey now. 348 00:20:55,039 --> 00:20:56,165 I'm not sure what that means, 349 00:20:56,248 --> 00:21:00,669 but I figure you two have some sort of drug-dealer shorthand that I'm not privy to. 350 00:21:00,753 --> 00:21:03,464 You were supposed to pick up a key of jack. 351 00:21:03,547 --> 00:21:06,008 - Jack? - I had it all promised out. 352 00:21:06,091 --> 00:21:09,303 What the fuck am I supposed to do with this? 353 00:21:09,386 --> 00:21:11,597 That would be a euphemism for... 354 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:13,974 heroin? 355 00:21:14,058 --> 00:21:17,311 I'm gonna kill that bean-farting motherfucker. 356 00:21:17,394 --> 00:21:20,940 - This is your fault, bitch! - My fault? 357 00:21:21,023 --> 00:21:23,609 Bet your ass. And you gonna make it right too. 358 00:21:24,527 --> 00:21:26,612 Look... 359 00:21:26,695 --> 00:21:29,657 I'm not a "gangsta". All right? 360 00:21:29,740 --> 00:21:32,576 You never told me what I was supposed to be picking up. 361 00:21:32,660 --> 00:21:34,453 There's really only so much 362 00:21:34,537 --> 00:21:37,665 you can reasonably expect from me in these situations. 363 00:21:37,748 --> 00:21:40,918 I did a fucking brick dance for you, OK? 364 00:21:41,001 --> 00:21:42,920 I got a parking ticket. 365 00:21:43,003 --> 00:21:45,464 - A brick dance? - I did what you told me to. 366 00:21:45,548 --> 00:21:51,387 Let's just sit down like rational people and start dialling down my debt. 367 00:21:51,470 --> 00:21:53,013 Are you done? 368 00:21:56,559 --> 00:22:00,980 Chop that shit up. Move it. Bring me back twelve-fi'. 369 00:22:01,063 --> 00:22:05,359 Twelve-five? No way I'm gonna get twelve-five for a brick. 370 00:22:05,442 --> 00:22:06,944 You got four days. 371 00:22:07,027 --> 00:22:11,282 And I'm taking the money that I gave that fucking wetback for my jack, 372 00:22:11,365 --> 00:22:13,242 and I'm adding it onto your tab. 373 00:22:13,325 --> 00:22:15,661 Yeah, I'm not stupid, OK. I know what this is worth, 374 00:22:15,744 --> 00:22:17,955 and it's not twelve-five. Eight, maybe. 375 00:22:18,038 --> 00:22:19,456 Thirteen! 376 00:22:19,540 --> 00:22:21,834 I'm mad, so now I gotta fuck shit up. 377 00:22:21,917 --> 00:22:24,962 I don't got any more shit to fuck up, OK? 378 00:22:25,045 --> 00:22:27,464 I've got kids. I've got bills. 379 00:22:27,548 --> 00:22:31,510 How am I supposed to put food on my table if you keep upping my debt? 380 00:22:35,514 --> 00:22:38,142 Get a fucking job. 381 00:22:41,312 --> 00:22:46,150 Young man, the theft you committed of those surveillance cameras 382 00:22:46,233 --> 00:22:49,361 was more than just a simple act of vandalism. 383 00:22:49,445 --> 00:22:51,488 It was a slap in the face to this community 384 00:22:51,572 --> 00:22:56,535 and the citizens who have dedicated their time ridding Agrestic of drugs. 385 00:22:56,619 --> 00:22:58,913 So I'm inclined to make an example of you 386 00:22:58,996 --> 00:23:01,498 and your wanton disregard for civic property. 387 00:23:01,582 --> 00:23:03,000 Excuse me, Judge. 388 00:23:03,083 --> 00:23:05,502 I'd like to speak out on behalf of my son. 389 00:23:05,586 --> 00:23:07,880 - He's normally very responsible... - Save it, Mrs Botwin. 390 00:23:07,963 --> 00:23:10,216 Mrs Hodes has already beaten you to the punch. 391 00:23:10,299 --> 00:23:12,426 She's explained that your family has gone through enough 392 00:23:12,509 --> 00:23:15,346 and asked me to go easy on the boy. 393 00:23:15,429 --> 00:23:20,684 Silas Botwin, you are hereby sentenced to six months of community service. 394 00:23:20,768 --> 00:23:25,940 Both you and your mother owe Mrs Hodes a great deal of gratitude. 395 00:23:28,651 --> 00:23:31,320 I think we really need to talk. 396 00:23:31,403 --> 00:23:33,572 Go fuck yourself, Celia. 397 00:23:34,323 --> 00:23:36,534 All right, listen up! 398 00:23:36,617 --> 00:23:39,578 It's my sorry-ass job to inform you ass-felching, 399 00:23:39,662 --> 00:23:42,456 salad-tossing, cum-guzzling faggots 400 00:23:42,540 --> 00:23:45,292 that that butt-ugly face you're staring at this very moment 401 00:23:45,376 --> 00:23:49,547 is one of the most important goddamn faces you'll ever lay your eyes upon. 402 00:23:49,630 --> 00:23:51,799 That is your battle buddy. 403 00:23:51,882 --> 00:23:54,927 Your battle buddy is like a Siamese twin. 404 00:23:55,010 --> 00:23:59,181 He shits, you shit. He fucks up, you fuck up. 405 00:23:59,265 --> 00:24:02,184 He goes down, you go down. 406 00:24:02,268 --> 00:24:05,104 - All right, people. - This is just like 'Nam. 407 00:24:05,187 --> 00:24:06,897 Yeah, you got that right. 408 00:24:06,981 --> 00:24:09,316 I can't wait to kill me some terrorists. 409 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:12,611 Are you kidding me? This isn't about terrorism. 410 00:24:12,695 --> 00:24:16,949 We are just pawns in a chess game for control of the oil production. 411 00:24:17,032 --> 00:24:20,119 Who cares? Bring it on, man. 412 00:24:20,202 --> 00:24:24,456 - Please don't talk to me any more. - You're gonna shit when I shit. 413 00:24:24,540 --> 00:24:26,083 Six weeks from today, 414 00:24:26,166 --> 00:24:29,378 this entire troop of girl scouts will be shipped off to Iraq. 415 00:24:29,461 --> 00:24:31,088 So you best pay close attention 416 00:24:31,171 --> 00:24:34,466 to every goddamn word that comes out of my godly mouth. 417 00:24:34,550 --> 00:24:38,387 Er, Sergeant Bilko, hi. I'm in the wrong place. They promised me a desk job... 418 00:24:38,470 --> 00:24:41,599 Who in the hell gave you permission to break rank, you flaccid little dick? 419 00:24:41,682 --> 00:24:43,100 Yeah, I just wanted to make sure... 420 00:24:43,183 --> 00:24:46,729 They promise everybody a desk job, you useless twat! 421 00:24:46,812 --> 00:24:49,273 - Yeah, I have eight toes. - And I got four dicks! 422 00:24:49,356 --> 00:24:53,027 So you better fall back in line before I use one of them to fuck you up the ass with! 423 00:24:53,110 --> 00:24:56,155 Now fall back in line, Botwin! 424 00:24:56,238 --> 00:25:00,159 You people are losers. You're scumbags, and I am God. 425 00:25:00,242 --> 00:25:03,162 This is gonna be great. 426 00:25:03,245 --> 00:25:05,873 ...because I won't be responsible when you get to Iraq. 427 00:25:05,956 --> 00:25:09,251 And if you don't listen to me, guess what - you will die! 428 00:25:09,335 --> 00:25:12,129 What are you looking at, you piece of shit? 429 00:25:15,132 --> 00:25:18,552 Well, in light of this incident, we intend to petition the judge 430 00:25:18,636 --> 00:25:21,805 and ask that Ms Hodes only have access to her daughter, Isabelle, 431 00:25:21,889 --> 00:25:25,601 on weekends, at the house, in the presence of Mr Hodes. 432 00:25:25,684 --> 00:25:27,561 That's outrageous. 433 00:25:27,645 --> 00:25:30,689 Weekends at the house unsupervised by Mr Hodes. 434 00:25:30,773 --> 00:25:32,858 - Nope. - Fine. 435 00:25:32,942 --> 00:25:35,861 Fine? What do you mean, fine? 436 00:25:35,945 --> 00:25:37,404 I am the mother. 437 00:25:37,488 --> 00:25:40,366 Why aren't his internal fish balls in a vice? 438 00:25:40,449 --> 00:25:44,411 - What happened to the fish? - The fish gasps when the cow gives milk. 439 00:25:44,495 --> 00:25:46,455 You dried up the cow. 440 00:25:46,539 --> 00:25:48,832 Oh, so now I'm the fish. 441 00:25:48,916 --> 00:25:50,960 What the hell are they talking about? 442 00:25:51,043 --> 00:25:53,546 She's dumping your wife because she doesn't think she'll get paid. 443 00:25:53,629 --> 00:25:56,006 - I am not a fish, you hear me? - Oh, this is great. 444 00:25:56,090 --> 00:25:58,133 I am nobody's fish. 445 00:25:58,217 --> 00:26:00,469 She's right, you know. She's not a fish. 446 00:26:00,553 --> 00:26:02,721 She just drinks like one. 447 00:26:07,142 --> 00:26:08,561 Fuck you all. 448 00:26:20,447 --> 00:26:22,616 You want me out of your life. 449 00:26:22,700 --> 00:26:24,368 Fine. 450 00:26:24,451 --> 00:26:27,538 I am out of your life. 451 00:26:42,094 --> 00:26:45,097 - Can we talk about this? - No, we can't. 452 00:26:45,180 --> 00:26:47,558 Silas, I told you, this is too much. 453 00:26:47,641 --> 00:26:49,518 Make the bags lighter, OK? 454 00:26:49,602 --> 00:26:52,730 Hey! Bidding's up to $2800 on Uncle Andy's guitar. 455 00:26:52,813 --> 00:26:54,773 That's great, sweetie. 456 00:26:54,857 --> 00:26:57,735 - I was just trying... - To what, Silas, help me? 457 00:26:58,235 --> 00:26:59,904 No, didn't help. 458 00:27:00,571 --> 00:27:03,115 Matter of fact, made it worse, a lot worse. 459 00:27:03,199 --> 00:27:05,451 But I'll tell you how you can help me now. 460 00:27:05,534 --> 00:27:08,621 Make the bags lighter, OK? 461 00:27:11,207 --> 00:27:13,250 - Pizza. - Wait here. I'll get it. 462 00:27:17,755 --> 00:27:19,965 - Nancy Botwin? - Yes. 463 00:27:20,049 --> 00:27:22,134 Agent Fundis, DEA. 464 00:27:22,218 --> 00:27:24,511 I'm here to talk about Peter Scottson. 465 00:27:26,096 --> 00:27:28,015 ♪ Knock, knock ♪ Who's there? 466 00:27:28,098 --> 00:27:30,017 ♪ Orange ♪ Orange who? 467 00:27:30,100 --> 00:27:31,310 ♪ Orange you glad to see me? 468 00:27:32,228 --> 00:27:33,229 ♪ Diddly doo 469 00:27:33,312 --> 00:27:35,439 ♪ Knock, knock ♪ Who's there? 470 00:27:35,523 --> 00:27:37,191 ♪ Lettuce ♪ Lettuce who? 471 00:27:37,274 --> 00:27:40,194 ♪ Lettuce inside we'll have a party with you 472 00:27:40,277 --> 00:27:41,987 ♪ Knock, knock ♪ Knockety knock 473 00:27:42,071 --> 00:27:43,072 ♪ Knock, knock 474 00:27:43,155 --> 00:27:44,156 ♪ Knockety knock 475 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,618 ♪ Every neighbour on the block wants to undo your lock 476 00:27:47,701 --> 00:27:49,161 ♪ Knock, knock ♪ Knockety knock 477 00:27:49,245 --> 00:27:50,246 ♪ Knock, knock 478 00:27:50,329 --> 00:27:51,455 ♪ Knockety knock 479 00:27:51,539 --> 00:27:54,750 ♪ We'll huff and then we'll puff until we're all in shock 480 00:27:58,295 --> 00:28:00,464 ♪ Knock, knock ♪ Who's there? 481 00:28:00,548 --> 00:28:02,174 ♪ Police ♪ Police who? 482 00:28:02,258 --> 00:28:05,803 ♪ Police won't you fix me a drink or two? ♪