1 00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:04,037 Previously on Weeds. 2 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:07,317 I got busted. Head of campus security at Valley State. 3 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:08,355 You just got jacked. 4 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:10,032 Here. This is yours. 5 00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:13,078 If you need protection on campus, just ask for me. 6 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:15,469 You still owe me 150 G's, lady! 7 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:18,552 How am I supposed to put food on my table if you keep upping my debt? 8 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,596 Get a fucking job. 9 00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:22,638 Chop that shit up. Move it. 10 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:23,755 Can you grow here? 11 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:26,673 Hell, yeah. It's perfect. Shame it's all gonna be for U-Turn. 12 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:30,753 Silas Botwin, you're sentenced to six months' community service. 13 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:35,712 Injuries such as yours may have rendered you unfit for duty in the past but times have changed. 14 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:37,233 - What? - Welcome to the army. 15 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:39,754 Your battle buddy is like a Siamese twin. 16 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,273 You're gonna shit when I shit. 17 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,830 - Why are you doing this? - I laid everything on the line for you, 18 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:45,909 and you fucked me. 19 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,228 Kesheshian says "goodbye". 20 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,197 - Peter? He's dead? - Yes! 21 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:52,238 I'll tell you how you can help me now. Make the bags lighter. 22 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:53,799 Agent Fundis, DEA. 23 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:55,757 I'm here to talk about Peter Scottson. 24 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:53,958 Erm, we broke up, 25 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,474 me and Peter Scottson. 26 00:01:56,560 --> 00:02:00,030 He hasn't come in to work for a few days, and we haven't heard from him. 27 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,758 It's unusual. 28 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:03,671 Oh, well, 29 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:06,996 I don't know. 30 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:10,709 - We broke up. - Look, Mrs. Botwin, I'm his partner. 31 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,870 - The one who burps? - It's reflux. 32 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,632 When did you last speak with him? 33 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,118 Er... A few days ago. He brought oranges. 34 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,236 - Do you want them? - Why would I want them? 35 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:22,117 I have no idea. 36 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,679 Erm... 37 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:27,878 - Listen, we broke up. - I think we established that. 38 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,520 When he brought the citrus over, did he say anything? 39 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,398 Where he was going? What he might be up to? Work stuff? 40 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:34,708 No. 41 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,313 He didn't talk about work much. 42 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:40,473 I didn't even know what he did till I tried on his jacket once by mistake. 43 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,755 I was cold and I had to pee. 44 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:49,154 Erm, about the break-up, we were just, you know, at different places. 45 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:52,516 I think we just wanted different things. 46 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:56,070 I think he was working on some undercover investigation on his own, 47 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,390 which is stupid, but even when he goes indie, 48 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,631 he calls to let me know everything's fine. 49 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,870 He knows I worry. 50 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,673 I hope nothing's wrong. 51 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:10,833 Well, if you hear from Peter, I'd like you to give me a call. 52 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,114 He really liked you. 53 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,916 Thanks for your time, Mrs. Botwin. 54 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,158 Where is Peter? 55 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:39,439 We broke up. 56 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,589 Is that gonna be a problem? 57 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,668 - No. - What makes you so sure? 58 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,432 Mommy just knows. 59 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:54,031 Behold, the incorporated city of Majestic. 60 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,908 A city experiencing a rate of growth few people could have anticipated. 61 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:02,232 Now, we've been a noisy neighbour, and for that I want to apologise. 62 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:07,155 That sound you heard coming from the east, the west, the north. 63 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:10,835 Houses popping up like so many California wildflowers. 64 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:16,278 Well, that is the sound of an economic miracle. 65 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,476 A month ago, our own City Council 66 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:21,313 had a session trying to come up with a new town logo, 67 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:24,278 something we could put on our signs, our brochures. 68 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:34,715 Italy is shaped like a boot. Sicily, the ball that's about to be kicked. 69 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:39,590 Majestic is shaped like a, well, some people say a horseshoe, 70 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,432 others, a smile. 71 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:45,830 But for some of us who are aware of a particular infrastructure problem 72 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:49,151 facing Majestic, well, we saw a different image. 73 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:57,998 In the midst of all our back-slapping, we forgot a fundamental principle of smart growth. 74 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,880 If you're gonna poop, make sure you can flush. 75 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,269 What we need is a bowl. 76 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,557 Agrestic is that bowl. 77 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,473 Now, in exchange for the right to redirect 78 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:15,472 a small portion of our sewage through your town, 79 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:17,676 we'll retrofit your existing sewage system 80 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:21,150 with the most advanced technology available at no cost to you. 81 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:28,192 We'll also grant you unrestricted access to all our recreational facilities, 82 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:32,831 including our non-denominational modern house of worship, 83 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:37,630 the Absolute Truth Ministry of Majestic. 84 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,029 Now, I know these are tough times for Agrestic. 85 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:44,875 Your tax base is shrinking while the cost of maintaining basic services is rising. 86 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,315 It doesn't have to be that way. 87 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,836 We're neighbours. 88 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:57,552 And this is a hand extended over the fence. 89 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:02,317 - Thank you, Mr. Groff. - Sullivan. Please. 90 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:03,753 Sullivan. 91 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,630 Dumb name. 92 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,238 - Education? - Two and a half semesters at Berkeley. 93 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:14,598 Graduated Berkeley with honours. 94 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:17,877 No lying. They can check these things. 95 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,076 This is Agrestic. No one's gonna check. 96 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:24,358 You're gonna look lame and stay unemployed if you don't lie cos everybody else does. 97 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:29,116 Shane, remember that guy who came to the door last night? 98 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:30,997 - Peter's friend? - Yeah. 99 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,514 You haven't seen him lurking around or anything, have you? 100 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,194 - Seen his Impala parked around? - Lurking? 101 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:39,590 - Lurking. - No, I haven't. Why would he be lurking? 102 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,069 - Does he know you're a drug dealer? - No. I don't think so. 103 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,470 I just... I hear he's a lurker. 104 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:49,473 - Mom, can you type? - With two fingers. 105 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:55,073 Proficient typing skills. 106 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,832 Now, what kind of job do you want? 107 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:00,959 Anything, so long as there's no folding, lifting or scooping involved. 108 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:04,032 Then, I'll give you a graduate degree in English, 109 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,838 and we'll take it from there. 110 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:07,239 Let's not overdo it. 111 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,630 I'm just proud of you. 112 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,029 What for? 113 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:15,633 Getting a real job. 114 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,437 Well, thank you, Shane. 115 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:29,193 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Come on! 116 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:30,838 Get your asses over here right now! 117 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:34,356 Go. Move it out. Go buy wings, Rodriguez. 118 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:38,638 Get your cock-violated asshole up that rope, Botwin. 119 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:42,508 So help me, if you don't, I will rip out your goddamn large intestine 120 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,955 and string you up by your tiny little pecker with it. 121 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,156 - How fucking cool is this? - We're gonna die. 122 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,391 - Let's go. Move it. - Actually, you're gonna die. 123 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,392 I'm gonna hide under your corpse till everybody's gone. 124 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,393 I ain't gonna be nobody's dead-body blanket. We're gonna get them first. 125 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:01,553 We don't speak the language. We know nothing about their culture. 126 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:04,108 We'll have the newest fuck-you-up-good technology. 127 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,428 Insurgents are dead meat. 128 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:06,794 We're the fucking insurgents. 129 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:10,236 Dude. We're the goddamn USA. We're the best. 130 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:13,676 We're the coolest, richest, most righteous nation on Earth. 131 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,957 We're a debt-laden nation of religious hypocrites. 132 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:20,919 All we do well is shop and drive gas-guzzling SUVs. 133 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,274 You're fucking un-American. 134 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:27,480 Botwin! Rodriguez! Get your corn-holing, shit-stained asses over here, front and centre. 135 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:30,552 What's with all the recurring homophobic images? 136 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,835 Starting to worry about this guy. 137 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,753 They're onto you, man. You're gonna get court-martialled 138 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,400 for all that Muslim-loving shit you've been spouting. 139 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,516 Yeah? They're calling you over, too. 140 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,511 Oh. Oh. 141 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,917 I want you to return to your barracks, 142 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,719 change into fresh greens, and report to me in nine minutes. 143 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:53,236 - Not eight, not ten. Is that clear? - What's up? 144 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:57,552 Botwin, you do not ever ask a commanding officer what's up. 145 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,677 He's not your fucking friend. He's your goddamn master, 146 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,239 your motherfucking God. 147 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:03,958 - You hear me, sperm breath? - Yeah. 148 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,190 - It's, "Yes, Sergeant." - Yes, Sergeant. 149 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:07,429 Fall out. 150 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,353 Move it. Pretend I'm getting ready to put my foot up your... 151 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,115 Wow. Lights on the church work. 152 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,668 - How awesome is this? - Come on, Doug. 153 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:17,795 It's my turn. 154 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:25,150 So, are we prepared to commit our city to being Majestic's bowl 155 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,595 because the guy next door brought over a cool model? 156 00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:29,750 - I'm not 100% sold. - Do you understand the numbers? 157 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:30,989 - I do. - And? 158 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:35,119 And we have to be able to renegotiate on our terms and not theirs, otherwise we... 159 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,758 What's going on? 160 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,669 I thought that we dealt with this last night. 161 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,073 - We did. - Uh-huh. 162 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:46,357 - Why are you here? - Why am I here? 163 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,317 - Why is he here? - Slumming. 164 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,197 - Yeah. - And it's a good thing, too. 165 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:53,158 No one here knows his ass from a spreadsheet in the ground. 166 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,754 Or her ass, as the case may be. 167 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:59,071 Well, thanks for coming by, but we don't need you. 168 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,720 We agreed to hire an independent accountant 169 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,234 who is gonna walk us through the entire proposal. 170 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,711 It's in the minutes. 171 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:10,791 - Right, Sarah? - The city coffers are empty, Celia. 172 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:13,553 Doug, what's your take on this Majestic proposal? 173 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:17,474 Basically, Majestic's overflowing river of crap has got no place to go 174 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:20,757 but through us like a fiscal colonic. 175 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:22,193 We got them by the sphincter. 176 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:27,708 - Shit highway could be our road to riches. - Our road to riches? 177 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:31,554 You know, the last time I checked, you weren't even on the Council. 178 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:39,070 Graduated Berkeley with honours. Associate editor, Oxford University Press. 179 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,435 - What division were you in? - Sorry? 180 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:46,150 What division? Academic books, reference, trade? 181 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:49,038 Academic. Textbooks mostly. 182 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:53,989 History. Lots of Civil War stuff. Reconstruction. 183 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,072 And how did you like New York? 184 00:10:56,160 --> 00:11:01,314 Oh, it was big, dirty. Lots of people. 185 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,395 Coconut. Nice. 186 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:09,958 You're a very beautiful woman. 187 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,030 I bet you look good rolling right out of bed in the morning, 188 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:16,872 or in it the night before. 189 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:21,434 I have my moments. 190 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:25,195 If I hire you, I'll be paying for the right to make comments like that. You OK with that? 191 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,953 As long as you're OK with being shot down every time. 192 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:31,237 I like you, Nancy Botwin. You're an operator. 193 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:35,916 The résumé's bullshit, of course, but the mind is there. 194 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:37,833 Here's what I do. 195 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:39,478 I sell values-based communities, 196 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:41,915 which means that I, and you, need to act the part. 197 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,675 Crucifix pin on the lapel, a smile on the face, and a pleasant word for everyone. 198 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:48,115 No fucking the construction crews like my former assistant 199 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,077 and then broadcasting it on the Internet. 200 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:53,436 Oh, I don't do porn so much anymore. I found it very tiring. 201 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:59,716 Now, Majestic is my ninth community and by far the most ambitious. 202 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:02,519 A lot comes through that door every day that needs to be dealt with. 203 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:05,831 For instance, today I need to find personalised gifts for every member 204 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:09,230 of the Agrestic City Council, and I have no idea what they'd like. 205 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,675 I can do that. I know the people on the Council. 206 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:15,548 I figured as much, since it was Celia Hodes who recommended that I speak to you. 207 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:19,110 - Celia? - I think this is what's referred to as kismet. 208 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,997 Hey, spaceshot. 209 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,311 You just got yourself a job. 210 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,559 - You start Monday. - Ooh! 211 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,997 Can't believe they expect us to do this job straight. 212 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,035 Qué? 213 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:47,034 - Yeah. - Si. Muy bien. 214 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:51,433 Mrs. Gruber? 215 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:55,672 Silas, did you know that if you drink and take Ambien, 216 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:58,877 you can randomly black out and run your car into a boulder? 217 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:00,678 Totalled the Volvo. 218 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,910 Who's that cute Latino guy? 219 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,435 Hey. 220 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,599 It's so hot. 221 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:11,715 Yeah. 222 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,435 Why don't you take your shirt off? 223 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,759 I'm fine. 224 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:18,956 You have nothing to be ashamed of. 225 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:22,794 You're young and lean, like ostrich meat. 226 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:26,031 Erm, have you been drinking, Mrs. Gruber? 227 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:27,314 Don't tell. 228 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:30,915 Anyway, it isn't illegal unless you're behind the wheel of a car, is it? 229 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,437 I guess not. 230 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:34,669 I'm wet. 231 00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,196 How you know how high to hang those lights? 232 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:48,068 30 inches above the plant makes for optimum lumen output in a space this size. 233 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,869 - And you got to control the temperature? - Not just temperature, also humidity 234 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:53,712 so the plant don't grow bacteria and fungus. 235 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:57,679 And anything else you want to know, I'm a wealth of information. 236 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,992 You impressed, aren't you? You like, "Wow, Conrad know what he talking about." 237 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,719 Yeah, if you're dick was half as smart as your brain, 238 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:08,031 you would've stayed far away from that girl like I told you. 239 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,392 If we gonna work together, you got to get off my dick, dumb as it might be. 240 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,399 Ain't gonna happen otherwise. 241 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:18,593 Fair enough. 242 00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:24,038 They need us, and we need them. Let's be their bowl. 243 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:29,030 No. This is a closed session, Mr. Wilson. 244 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:30,394 Hold that thought. 245 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:33,198 I have an announcement to make. 246 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:37,319 For personal reasons, I've decided to give up my position on the City Council. 247 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,197 - In accordance with... - For fuck's sake. 248 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:43,273 ...section 324, paragraph C, we are hereby compelled to elect 249 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,477 an interim council member to replace me until the next election. 250 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,516 I'm opening up the floor to nominations. 251 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,433 - I nominate Doug Wilson. - I second the Doug Wilson nomination. 252 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:55,559 All those in favour of electing Doug Wilson as interim council member say aye. 253 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,392 - Aye. - Oh, you guys. 254 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,629 All those against? 255 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,199 - Nay. - The resolution passes. 256 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,272 Doug Wilson will take my seat, effective immediately. 257 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,238 - No, this can't possibly be legal. - It is. 258 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,073 - And what makes you so sure? - I wrote the bylaws. 259 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:12,675 So, now that that's that, I would like to open up a new order of business. 260 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,751 Since there's no longer a conflict of interest, 261 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:20,198 I would like to nominate Mitch Kamin to contract all requisite landscaping 262 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:23,033 that will accompany shit highway. 263 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,633 Yeah. 264 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:28,235 - This is bullshit. - No, Celia, it's human shit. 265 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,072 You got to get on the same page with us. 266 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,435 I'm not gonna allow this to happen. 267 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:37,036 You are not going to turn this into your little corrupt kingdom again. 268 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:40,795 This time there's going to be checks and balances. 269 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,155 There's going to be oversight. 270 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,910 Are you hearing me? 271 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,274 I'm shaking. 272 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:49,875 Nazdorovia! 273 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,916 Oh! 274 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,595 - Here we go. Here we go. - Pass it down. Pass it down. 275 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,636 Here's to shit! Fill them up. Let's go. 276 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:06,119 Mommy got a job. Ice cream for everybody. 277 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,872 I'm the only one home. 278 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,474 Well, then, more for us. 279 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:13,991 What's your job? 280 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:17,675 I'm the new West Coast head of Random House. 281 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:21,036 Mom, that's great. I told you. Yes! 282 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:27,238 Actually, I'm the executive assistant to the head of the Majestic project. 283 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,589 By the way, darling, they do check résumés. 284 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,638 So, let's thank God Mommy smells like coconut. 285 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,951 - Hello. - Where the fuck's my money? 286 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,679 Hold on. I'll be right back, sweetie. 287 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:51,072 Hey, guess what. I got a job. 288 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:54,994 Your job is being my bitch. Where the fuck is my money? 289 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:58,871 OK, I'm having a little difficulty moving your brick at the moment. 290 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:02,919 It's motherfucking weed. Everybody love that shit. Sell it and bring me the money. 291 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,433 The DEA came to my house. 292 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,875 - I can't make a move right now. - The fuck you can't. 293 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,997 DEA been up my ass since I popped out of my mama's sacred place, 294 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,594 and that don't stop me one bit. Fuck them. 295 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,193 I don't have your confidence. 296 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:15,998 Then find it, bitch. 297 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,833 Fuck, Yevgeny. Not so hard. 298 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,956 Look, I want my money. You hear me? 299 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:27,113 Sell the weed to the fucking DEA all I care. No more excuses. 300 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:40,350 - City and state, please. - Santa Lejos, California. 301 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,671 - Listing? - Valley State campus security. 302 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:51,637 Erm... I don't mean to quibble, Mrs. Botwin. 303 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:55,474 I don't want to invite another visit from your friends, but... 304 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,630 some of these bags look a little light to me. 305 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:02,029 Look, I assure you they're not light. It's just an airy blend. 306 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,598 - Look, you want it or not. - Yeah, I'll take it. 307 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:10,071 I don't have the money on me, so I'll be right back. 308 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:14,392 - Why would you not bring the money? - I don't know. You make me nervous. 309 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,391 I make you nervous? 310 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,199 Yeah. You're scary. 311 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:23,636 You're this scary lady drug dealer with thugs. 312 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:25,278 That's me. 313 00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:28,750 Go get the money. Leave the bag. Go get the money. Now. 314 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,353 OK, OK. I'll be right back. 315 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,919 That's right. You will. 316 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:39,555 Erm... I have to drive to where the money is. 317 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:45,431 So, you want to come with me or wait here or what? 318 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:49,229 I'll wait here. I'll be right over there on that bench, OK? 319 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,356 - Yeah. - Make it snappy. 320 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,033 This is boring. 321 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,949 Gets us out of that fucking obstacle course. 322 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,952 All right, give me that phone. 323 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:25,029 - They said not to fuck with it. - I'm not gonna fuck with it. I just wanna look at it. 324 00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:27,155 Come on. 325 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,596 What do you think would happen if we made a call? 326 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,672 We're not supposed to make calls. We're just supposed to turn it on, 327 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:38,196 stand here, and let some drone take pictures of us. 328 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,355 - What are you doing? - Making a postcard. 329 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:45,758 Hey, that's funny. 330 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,075 - Give me your lighter. - What for? 331 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,355 I want you to take a picture of me lighting my fart. 332 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,431 OK, that's the spirit. 333 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:25,749 Hey. 334 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,595 Jesus, lady. I thought you were someone else. 335 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,235 Come on. Come on! 336 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,914 Oh, this phone has video. We can make a movie. 337 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,228 - Fuck. - What's the matter? 338 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,959 - I got nothing. I'm tensing up. - Fuck. Give me that. 339 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:46,956 Let me show you how it's done. All right? 340 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,270 OK, OK, hold on. 341 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,396 Now point the camera at my ass. Hurry. 342 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,516 I don't wanna see your balls, man. Tuck them in. 343 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,751 All right, there, there, fine. Ready? 344 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:01,469 OK. It's coming, and it's a good one. Here it comes. 345 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,915 - Hey, what is that? - It's show time. 346 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:06,555 Fuck. 347 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,074 Holy shit. 348 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,915 OK, something. 349 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,519 Something, something. 350 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:24,629 Evidence. 351 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,677 Sorry, battle buddy. 352 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,474 - Merci, merci, madame. - Please. 353 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,516 Just like Paris, huh? 354 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,117 - Sullivan. - I owe you a thank you. 355 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:56,113 Your friend, Nancy, she's gonna work out. Thanks. 356 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,192 Honestly, the poor thing could really use help. 357 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:04,068 Entering the job market, you know, at her age. 358 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:09,830 That crouton thing they do on top of the soup, not good. 359 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,234 Try the croque-monsieur next time, or the quiche. 360 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,519 You seem to know your way around here. 361 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,318 I travel a lot. 362 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,039 There's a Café Deux Mercis in just about every city. 363 00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:24,829 Same menu, same framed posters, same smell. 364 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,910 There's a certain comforting predictability to it. 365 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,999 - You live around here? - Sort of. Yeah, yeah. 366 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:41,437 I sort of... I'm in a hotel, temporarily. 367 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:45,274 Are you in the All Suites? That's where I am. 368 00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:49,558 No. No, I'm staying in one of the other ones. 369 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,711 Listen, what do you say we dump this crap 370 00:22:56,800 --> 00:23:00,076 and go some place where the lighting's better and there's a full bar? 371 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:01,195 I'm buying. 372 00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:05,829 Yeah, thank you. I think maybe another time, though. 373 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,798 Ah, I insist. Why eat alone? 374 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:13,553 I actually have some place I need to be. 375 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,471 Totally forgot. 376 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:20,509 I'm sorry. I have to go now. 377 00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,918 Thank you, though. 378 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,309 Yeah. A rain check. 379 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,238 Should you reconsider. 380 00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,438 A bientôt, mademoiselle. 381 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,558 First new message. 382 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:09,998 You been dodging my calls, bitch. Did you move my brick? I want my money. 383 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,834 If I don't hear from you soon, I'm gonna pay you and yours a little visit. 384 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:18,198 I got a guy on payroll that just thinks up fucked-up shit to do to people. 385 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:21,038 Next message. 386 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:26,197 - You're gonna be late. - It's OK. 387 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:34,911 You know, this community service thing is totally unsupervised. 388 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:40,552 Every morning they tell me where to go and what to do, 389 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,710 but no one even bothers to check and see if I show up or not. 390 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:46,711 I still want you showing up. 391 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:47,949 The thing is, 392 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:53,353 I can pretty much do anything I want. No one's watching me. 393 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:57,278 - No one. - I'm watching. 394 00:24:57,360 --> 00:25:02,832 Plus, I meet lots of really cool people. People who like to have fun. 395 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,315 People who would pay to have fun. 396 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:14,759 This is a non-starter. I will never let you deal. 397 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,399 You don't have a choice. 398 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:21,388 I know you don't. 399 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:23,598 It's too dangerous. 400 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,038 I don't want this for you. 401 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:30,559 Come back here. 402 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,797 We'll discuss this later.