1
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,300
Mr. Schuester.
2
00:00:09,406 --> 00:00:09,701
Yeah?
3
00:00:09,767 --> 00:00:11,067
I went to the library and I got some
sheet music,
4
00:00:11,067 --> 00:00:12,534
and I wanted to run
some songs by you
5
00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:14,234
- that feature me heavily
on lead vocal.
- Thanks, Rach.
6
00:00:14,234 --> 00:00:15,968
But I already got one
picked out.
7
00:00:15,968 --> 00:00:17,434
Let me help you
with that.
8
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:20,367
Thanks, Finn. You're so chivalrous.
9
00:00:20,367 --> 00:00:22,367
-Thanks! That's a good
thing, right?
- Morning, guys.
10
00:00:22,367 --> 00:00:24,200
Hey, Mr. Shue.
We're just learning some runs.
11
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:25,267
- Oh, yeah?
- So it goes,
12
00:00:25,267 --> 00:00:26,501
♪ Oh. ♪
13
00:00:26,501 --> 00:00:27,834
♪ Oh. ♪
♪ Oh. ♪
14
00:00:27,834 --> 00:00:29,501
- With the finger, huh?
- Pretty fly for a white guy.
15
00:00:29,501 --> 00:00:30,734
Oh, thank you, thank you.
16
00:00:30,734 --> 00:00:32,667
Hey, don't be late for rehearsal
this afternoon.
17
00:00:32,667 --> 00:00:34,334
All right.
18
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:35,701
Morning, Kurt.
19
00:00:35,701 --> 00:00:37,701
Buenos nachos, Mr. Shue.
20
00:00:37,701 --> 00:00:39,200
Hey!
21
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,200
- Let's go, Titans!
- Yeah.
22
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,200
- Come on.
- Wait!
23
00:00:45,501 --> 00:00:47,501
One day you will all
work for me.
24
00:00:53,367 --> 00:00:56,033
(strumming steady rhythm)
25
00:00:56,033 --> 00:00:57,200
It was very,
very nice.
26
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,234
All right?
27
00:01:00,968 --> 00:01:02,634
(gasping):
- Oh, Will, oh.
- Oh!
28
00:01:02,634 --> 00:01:04,300
- Gosh. Hi.
- Hey, Emma.
29
00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:05,467
- Hi.
- Hey.
30
00:01:05,467 --> 00:01:07,300
Uh, I wanted to thank you
so much
31
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:09,167
for the advice you gave me
the other day.
32
00:01:09,167 --> 00:01:11,501
I mean, teaching here
and coaching Glee Club --
33
00:01:11,501 --> 00:01:13,501
- it's where I belong.
- Oh, well, it's
no problem.
34
00:01:13,501 --> 00:01:15,334
I mean, it's what I do.
You know, I give counsel
35
00:01:15,334 --> 00:01:16,567
and give guidance.
I'm a guidance counselor.
36
00:01:16,567 --> 00:01:17,868
Yeah, you are.
37
00:01:17,868 --> 00:01:19,234
So -- oh, look, we match,
periwinkle.
38
00:01:19,234 --> 00:01:21,234
- Yeah.
- Get a room.
39
00:01:21,234 --> 00:01:23,501
Mrs. Sylvester wants to see you
in her office, Mr. Shue.
40
00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,000
She doesn't like
to be kept waiting.
41
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,000
You got it.
42
00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:30,334
(school bell ringing)
43
00:01:32,033 --> 00:01:34,067
Hey, Sue, you want to see me?
44
00:01:34,067 --> 00:01:35,567
Hey, buddy. Come on in.
45
00:01:35,567 --> 00:01:37,067
(sighs)
46
00:01:37,067 --> 00:01:38,767
I just blasted my hammies.
47
00:01:38,767 --> 00:01:40,467
Oh.
48
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:41,200
Iron tablet?
49
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,467
Uh...
50
00:01:42,467 --> 00:01:44,133
Keeps your strength up while
you're menstruating.
51
00:01:44,133 --> 00:01:45,934
I don't menstruate.
52
00:01:45,934 --> 00:01:47,534
Yeah?
53
00:01:47,534 --> 00:01:48,567
Neither do I.
54
00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,801
So I had a little chat
55
00:01:50,801 --> 00:01:52,801
with Principal Figgins, and he
said that if your group
56
00:01:52,801 --> 00:01:55,534
doesn't place at Regionals,
he's cutting the program.
57
00:01:55,534 --> 00:01:57,667
(clicks tongue)
Ouch.
58
00:01:57,667 --> 00:01:59,067
You know, you don't have to
worry about Glee Club.
59
00:01:59,067 --> 00:02:00,100
We're going to be fine.
60
00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:01,200
Really?
61
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,934
'Cause I was at the
local library,
62
00:02:02,934 --> 00:02:04,868
where I read Cheerleading
Today aloud
63
00:02:04,868 --> 00:02:06,901
to blind geriatrics,
64
00:02:06,901 --> 00:02:09,400
and I came across this
little page-turner.
65
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,901
Show Choir Rule Book.
66
00:02:11,901 --> 00:02:13,334
And it turns out,
67
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,701
you need 12 kids to qualify
for Regionals.
68
00:02:15,701 --> 00:02:17,534
Last time I looked,
69
00:02:17,534 --> 00:02:19,200
you only had
five-and-a-half.
70
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,234
Here. Cripple in
the wheelchair.
71
00:02:21,234 --> 00:02:24,334
I also took the liberty
of highlighting some
special ed classes
72
00:02:24,334 --> 00:02:27,200
for you -- maybe you could
find some recruits --
73
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,267
because I'm not sure
there's anybody else
74
00:02:29,267 --> 00:02:30,934
who's going to want to swim over
75
00:02:30,934 --> 00:02:34,100
to your Island of Misfit Toys.
76
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:35,934
Are you threatening me,
77
00:02:35,934 --> 00:02:37,601
- Sue?
- Threatening you?
78
00:02:37,601 --> 00:02:39,067
Oh, no, no, no.
79
00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:41,067
Presenting you
with an opportunity
80
00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:43,067
to compromise yourself?
81
00:02:43,067 --> 00:02:45,334
You betcha.
82
00:02:45,334 --> 00:02:48,534
Let's break it down.
83
00:02:48,534 --> 00:02:49,901
You want to be creative.
84
00:02:49,901 --> 00:02:51,434
You want to be in the spotlight.
85
00:02:51,434 --> 00:02:53,901
Face it, you want to be me.
86
00:02:53,901 --> 00:02:55,767
So, here's the deal:
87
00:02:55,767 --> 00:02:58,767
you do with your depressing
little group of kids
88
00:02:58,767 --> 00:03:01,734
what I did with my wealthy,
elderly mother:
89
00:03:01,734 --> 00:03:03,200
euthanize it.
90
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,767
It's time.
91
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,334
And then I'll be happy
to offer you a job
92
00:03:06,334 --> 00:03:07,734
as my second assistant
on Cheerios.
93
00:03:07,734 --> 00:03:10,133
You can fetch
me Gatorade
94
00:03:10,133 --> 00:03:11,467
and launder my soiled delicates;
95
00:03:11,467 --> 00:03:13,200
it'll be very rewarding
96
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,501
work for you.
97
00:03:14,501 --> 00:03:16,701
You know what, Sue?
98
00:03:16,701 --> 00:03:18,734
I politely decline
your offer.
99
00:03:18,734 --> 00:03:20,167
Glee Club is here
to stay.
100
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:22,167
I believe in my kids.
101
00:03:22,167 --> 00:03:25,033
I know you're used to being the
cock of the walk around here...
102
00:03:25,033 --> 00:03:26,701
Offensive.
103
00:03:26,701 --> 00:03:28,000
...but it looks
like your Cheerios
104
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,033
are going to have
some competition.
105
00:03:29,033 --> 00:03:30,868
We're going to show
at Regionals.
106
00:03:30,868 --> 00:03:34,367
You have my word on that.
107
00:03:34,367 --> 00:03:36,367
Have a good day.
108
00:03:40,367 --> 00:03:42,400
(school bell ringing)
109
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:46,468
QUINN:
We are in line to be the most
popular kids in this school
110
00:03:46,468 --> 00:03:47,934
- over the next couple
of years.
- Yeah, I know.
111
00:03:47,934 --> 00:03:49,700
Prom king and queen,
homecoming court royalty,
112
00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:51,700
I'm not giving up
those shiny crowns
113
00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:53,201
just so you can
"express yourself."
114
00:03:53,201 --> 00:03:55,967
FINN:
Look, you're making too big
a deal out of this.
115
00:03:55,967 --> 00:03:58,800
Okay, let's compromise.
116
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:00,667
If you quit the club,
117
00:04:00,667 --> 00:04:02,667
I'll let you touch my breast.
118
00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:03,934
FINN:
Under the shirt?
119
00:04:03,934 --> 00:04:06,967
Over the bra.
120
00:04:06,967 --> 00:04:09,001
No, no.
121
00:04:09,001 --> 00:04:10,567
I can't.
122
00:04:10,567 --> 00:04:11,834
I want to do Glee.
I --
123
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:13,167
I'm really happy
when I'm performing.
124
00:04:13,167 --> 00:04:15,101
People think
you're gay now, Finn.
125
00:04:15,101 --> 00:04:16,767
And you know
what that makes me?
126
00:04:16,767 --> 00:04:18,434
Your big gay beard.
127
00:04:18,434 --> 00:04:20,834
Look, I - I - I got to go
to class, okay?
128
00:04:20,834 --> 00:04:22,067
Just relax.
129
00:04:22,067 --> 00:04:23,967
Everything's going
to work out.
130
00:04:25,001 --> 00:04:28,001
Eavesdrop much?
131
00:04:30,101 --> 00:04:32,134
Time for some girl talk,
man hands.
132
00:04:32,134 --> 00:04:34,468
You can dance with him,
you can sing with him,
133
00:04:34,468 --> 00:04:36,101
but you will never
have him.
134
00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:37,767
I understand why you'd
be threatened.
135
00:04:37,767 --> 00:04:39,500
Finn and I have made
a connection,
136
00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:40,900
but I'm an honorable
person.
137
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:42,967
I don't need to
steal your man.
138
00:04:42,967 --> 00:04:44,667
I have plenty of suitors
of my own.
139
00:04:44,667 --> 00:04:46,334
Every day Glee's status
is going up
140
00:04:46,334 --> 00:04:47,934
and yours is going down...
141
00:04:47,934 --> 00:04:48,934
deal with it.
142
00:04:50,101 --> 00:04:51,967
(others laughing)
143
00:04:51,967 --> 00:04:53,834
Holla.
144
00:04:53,834 --> 00:04:55,633
♪ Ah, freak out ♪
145
00:04:55,633 --> 00:04:57,633
♪ Le freak, c'est chic ♪
146
00:04:57,633 --> 00:04:58,667
Energy, guys.
* Freak out *
147
00:04:58,667 --> 00:04:59,834
It's disco.
148
00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:00,834
♪ Le freak, c'est chic ♪
149
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,767
♪ Ah, freak out ♪
150
00:05:02,767 --> 00:05:04,700
Good with the hands.
John Travolta hands. All right.
151
00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:06,434
♪ Le freak, c'est chic ♪
152
00:05:06,434 --> 00:05:07,934
Freak it out.
Let's go.
* Freak out *
153
00:05:07,934 --> 00:05:09,834
♪ Le freak, c'est chic ♪
154
00:05:09,834 --> 00:05:11,667
And up and out
155
00:05:11,667 --> 00:05:13,167
and down and --
Good.
* Have you heard *
156
00:05:13,167 --> 00:05:14,633
♪ About the new dance craze? ♪
Good, good, guys.
157
00:05:14,633 --> 00:05:16,001
♪ Listen to us ♪
158
00:05:16,001 --> 00:05:18,967
♪ I'm sure you'll be amazed ♪
159
00:05:18,967 --> 00:05:20,867
♪ Big fun... ♪
Whoa! Whoa!
160
00:05:20,867 --> 00:05:22,667
Hell to the no.
161
00:05:22,667 --> 00:05:24,767
First of all, you try to
bust my face again,
162
00:05:24,767 --> 00:05:26,468
and I will cut you.
163
00:05:26,468 --> 00:05:28,567
And also, this song is terrible.
164
00:05:28,567 --> 00:05:30,001
Okay, no, no, it's not the song.
165
00:05:30,001 --> 00:05:31,468
You guys just need
to get into it.
166
00:05:31,468 --> 00:05:32,633
No, it's the song.
167
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:33,867
- It's really gay.
- We need
168
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:34,800
modern music, Mr. Shue.
169
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:36,134
I'm sorry, guys.
170
00:05:36,134 --> 00:05:38,500
We don't have time
to discuss this.
171
00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:40,301
We're doing the song this Friday
at the pep assembly.
172
00:05:40,301 --> 00:05:41,800
In f-front of the whole school?
173
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,301
Exactly!
174
00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,500
They're gonna throw
fruit at us.
175
00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:46,034
And I just had a facial.
176
00:05:46,034 --> 00:05:47,401
I'll press charges
if that happens.
177
00:05:47,401 --> 00:05:49,600
Guys, I can't express to you
178
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,633
how important this assembly is.
179
00:05:51,633 --> 00:05:53,301
We need recruits.
180
00:05:53,301 --> 00:05:54,533
There're six of you.
181
00:05:54,533 --> 00:05:56,567
We need 12 to qualify
for Regionals.
182
00:05:56,567 --> 00:05:58,600
We have no choice or...
183
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,034
the club is over.
184
00:06:00,034 --> 00:06:02,067
I know you guys don't like
this song,
185
00:06:02,067 --> 00:06:04,533
but we took Nationals back
in '93 with "Freak Out."
186
00:06:04,533 --> 00:06:06,301
It's a crowd-pleaser.
187
00:06:06,301 --> 00:06:07,500
Trust me.
188
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,533
From the top.
189
00:06:08,533 --> 00:06:10,533
I'm dead.
190
00:06:15,101 --> 00:06:19,167
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX
191
00:06:19,167 --> 00:06:21,267
WILL:
My father always said
you become a man
192
00:06:21,267 --> 00:06:22,800
when you buy your first house.
193
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,368
I'm not sure what
he meant by that,
194
00:06:24,368 --> 00:06:26,734
since he burned ours down once
after a drunken fight with Mom.
195
00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:29,368
Welcome to your little slice
of the American dream.
196
00:06:29,368 --> 00:06:32,368
I have a question
about the trees.
197
00:06:32,368 --> 00:06:34,234
It's always been
my personal dream
198
00:06:34,234 --> 00:06:36,234
to cut down my own
Christmas tree.
199
00:06:36,234 --> 00:06:38,900
How many Christmas trees
will we have in the backyard?
200
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,600
And do they come
in different colors?
201
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,667
Because, well -- obviously,
we're expecting a family,
202
00:06:42,667 --> 00:06:45,234
and I have a real sense
that it might be a girl.
203
00:06:45,234 --> 00:06:47,401
WILL:
Still, I can't believe
we're actually doing this.
204
00:06:47,401 --> 00:06:48,934
It all happened so fast...
205
00:06:48,934 --> 00:06:51,267
(kids screaming)
206
00:06:51,267 --> 00:06:54,067
It all started when Terri's
sister Kendra
207
00:06:54,067 --> 00:06:55,734
brought her kids over
for Sunday brunch.
208
00:06:55,734 --> 00:06:57,533
Well, I just
don't understand
209
00:06:57,533 --> 00:06:59,101
where you're planning on
putting the nursery.
210
00:06:59,101 --> 00:07:00,001
I know.
211
00:07:00,001 --> 00:07:01,533
We have a second bedroom.
212
00:07:01,533 --> 00:07:03,267
You are not giving up
your craft room, Terri.
213
00:07:03,267 --> 00:07:04,600
A mother needs
her respite.
214
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,600
That craft room
is the only thing
215
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,334
that's going to keep you
from going all Susan Smith
216
00:07:08,334 --> 00:07:10,533
on that little angel.
217
00:07:10,533 --> 00:07:12,800
Postpartum runs
in our family.
218
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,468
Where are you going?
219
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:15,900
Bathroom.
220
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:16,934
All that bran.
221
00:07:16,934 --> 00:07:18,067
No, you can't.
222
00:07:18,067 --> 00:07:19,101
Kyle needs his
inhaler.
223
00:07:19,101 --> 00:07:20,267
(screaming continues)
224
00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:22,267
(screams)
225
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:24,767
Anyway, this conversation
is over.
226
00:07:24,767 --> 00:07:25,800
They're starting
construction
227
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:28,034
on a new section
of our subdivision.
228
00:07:28,034 --> 00:07:29,368
You are not
229
00:07:29,368 --> 00:07:32,267
bringing my niece or nephew
home to this apartment.
230
00:07:32,267 --> 00:07:33,800
When pigs fly.
231
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:34,934
(laughing)
232
00:07:34,934 --> 00:07:37,067
Can I eat this?
233
00:07:39,368 --> 00:07:41,900
This banister was made
by Ecuadorian children.
234
00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:43,900
- (gasps)
- It's great, Terri,
235
00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:45,734
but there are nine
foreclosures on
our street.
236
00:07:45,734 --> 00:07:47,167
Why can't we buy
one of those?
237
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,567
- They're half
the price.
- I am not raising our baby
238
00:07:48,567 --> 00:07:50,234
in a used house.
They're not clean.
239
00:07:50,234 --> 00:07:52,067
Oh.
240
00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:53,234
Look at this sun nook.
241
00:07:53,234 --> 00:07:55,234
Isn't it beautiful?
242
00:07:55,234 --> 00:07:57,067
- Is it extra?
- Mm.
243
00:07:57,067 --> 00:07:59,234
The price in the brochure is
for the basic model --
244
00:07:59,234 --> 00:08:01,734
everything else
is a la carte.
245
00:08:01,734 --> 00:08:04,567
The grand foyer is
an extra $14,000,
246
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,567
and the sun nook is
an extra 24.
247
00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:10,234
I'll let
you two talk.
248
00:08:10,234 --> 00:08:12,234
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
249
00:08:13,234 --> 00:08:14,767
(sighs)
250
00:08:14,767 --> 00:08:16,234
We can't afford this.
251
00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:17,567
We already did
the math, Will.
252
00:08:17,567 --> 00:08:19,567
All we have to do is
give up Applebee's,
253
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,567
and we won't run the
AC for the first
couple of summers.
254
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,567
Well, we certainly can't afford
the grand foyer,
255
00:08:23,567 --> 00:08:25,001
and the sun nook.
256
00:08:25,001 --> 00:08:26,434
I mean, if we bite off more
than we can chew
257
00:08:26,434 --> 00:08:28,101
we'll lose everything.
258
00:08:28,101 --> 00:08:30,101
You need to pick one.
259
00:08:30,101 --> 00:08:31,633
Come with me.
260
00:08:31,633 --> 00:08:33,734
I'm going to show you
something really special.
261
00:08:33,734 --> 00:08:36,734
This is where our daughter
or gay son will sleep.
262
00:08:36,734 --> 00:08:38,167
I thought maybe
we could put one
263
00:08:38,167 --> 00:08:39,334
of those mini-pianos
in here,
264
00:08:39,334 --> 00:08:42,334
and you two could
put on shows for me.
265
00:08:42,334 --> 00:08:43,700
I love it, Terri.
266
00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:45,500
But we still can't
afford everything.
267
00:08:47,533 --> 00:08:48,700
(sighs)
268
00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:51,700
It's my very own
Sophie's Choice.
269
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,201
Fine.
270
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,368
I'm going to give up the sun
nook for the grand foyer.
271
00:08:56,368 --> 00:08:59,368
But I really need
the polished door handles.
272
00:08:59,368 --> 00:09:01,201
Think of our family,
Will.
273
00:09:01,201 --> 00:09:03,034
This is our dream.
274
00:09:03,034 --> 00:09:05,867
WILL:
I knew in that moment that
I would do whatever it took,
275
00:09:05,867 --> 00:09:08,368
even if it meant getting
a part-time job
276
00:09:08,368 --> 00:09:09,767
to make some extra money,
277
00:09:09,767 --> 00:09:12,101
to make that dream come true.
278
00:09:12,101 --> 00:09:14,101
Let's go sign
those papers.
279
00:09:15,867 --> 00:09:17,900
Yes!
280
00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:19,700
- You need to call me
before you dress yourself.
- Whatever, whatever.
281
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:21,468
- You look like a Technicolor zebra.
- You're a hater.
282
00:09:21,468 --> 00:09:23,167
- And I look like I'm a partier.
- That's what you are, a hater.
283
00:09:23,167 --> 00:09:24,700
- You're trying to copy me.
- It looks like I planned it.
284
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:26,101
You know what?
If your hair was longer
285
00:09:26,101 --> 00:09:27,034
- you'd have curls.
- WILL:
All right, guys.
286
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:28,401
How about a little Kanye?
287
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,434
(all cheering)
288
00:09:29,434 --> 00:09:30,567
For the assembly?
289
00:09:30,567 --> 00:09:31,800
No, we won't be
ready in time.
290
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:32,934
We're still
doing disco.
291
00:09:32,934 --> 00:09:35,101
But we can fold this
into our repertoire,
292
00:09:35,101 --> 00:09:37,533
and it'll be awesome
at Regionals.
293
00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:39,700
Communication is the foundation
294
00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:41,368
of any successful music group.
295
00:09:41,368 --> 00:09:43,967
If we're going to succeed
we need to communicate.
296
00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:46,067
You guys said you wanted
modern music, I listened.
297
00:09:46,067 --> 00:09:49,767
Mr. Shue, we'd really like to
not do disco at that assembly.
298
00:09:49,767 --> 00:09:51,001
Finn, you're going
to take the solo.
299
00:09:51,001 --> 00:09:53,001
What? No, I - I can't do
the solo, Mr. Shue.
300
00:09:53,001 --> 00:09:54,201
I'm still learning...
301
00:09:54,201 --> 00:09:56,201
learning how to walk and
sing at the same time.
302
00:09:57,234 --> 00:09:59,234
No problem.
303
00:09:59,234 --> 00:10:00,567
I'll walk you through it.
304
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,234
ALL:
Ooh.
305
00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:03,267
Challenge.
306
00:10:03,267 --> 00:10:04,867
Mercedes, you know this?
307
00:10:04,867 --> 00:10:06,867
Oh, I got this.
308
00:10:08,301 --> 00:10:12,834
♪ She take my money ♪
309
00:10:12,834 --> 00:10:14,834
♪ When I'm in need ♪
310
00:10:14,834 --> 00:10:18,334
♪ Yeah, she's a trifflin' ♪
311
00:10:18,334 --> 00:10:20,334
♪ Friend, indeed ♪
312
00:10:20,334 --> 00:10:23,334
♪ Oh, she's a gold digger ♪
313
00:10:23,334 --> 00:10:25,368
♪ Way over town ♪
314
00:10:25,368 --> 00:10:26,834
♪ That digs on me ♪
315
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,934
(bass pumping)
316
00:10:28,934 --> 00:10:31,767
* She give me money *
* Now I ain't sayin'
she a gold digger *
317
00:10:31,767 --> 00:10:34,401
* When I'm in need *
* But she ain't messin'
with no broke, broke *
318
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:37,201
* She give me money *
* Now I ain't sayin'
she a gold digger *
319
00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:39,234
* When I'm in need *
* But she ain't messin'
with no broke *
320
00:10:39,234 --> 00:10:40,767
* Broke *
* I gotta leave *
321
00:10:40,767 --> 00:10:42,934
♪ Get down, girl,
go 'head, get down ♪
322
00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:44,567
* I gotta leave *
* Get down, girl,
go 'head, get down *
323
00:10:44,567 --> 00:10:46,434
* I gotta leave *
* Get down, girl *
324
00:10:46,434 --> 00:10:48,101
* Go 'head, get down *
* I gotta leave *
325
00:10:48,101 --> 00:10:50,101
* Get down, girl, go 'head *
* She give me money *
326
00:10:50,101 --> 00:10:51,800
♪ Cutie da bomb
met her at a beauty salon ♪
327
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,468
* When I'm in need *
* With a baby Louis Vuitton *
328
00:10:53,468 --> 00:10:55,834
♪ Under her underarm,
she said I can tell you rock ♪
329
00:10:55,834 --> 00:10:57,500
* She give me money *
* I can tell by your charm *
330
00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:59,201
* When I'm in need *
* Far as girls you got a flock *
331
00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:00,934
♪ I can tell by your charm
and your arm ♪
332
00:11:00,934 --> 00:11:02,767
* I gotta leave *
* But I'm lookin' for the one *
333
00:11:02,767 --> 00:11:03,800
* Have you seen her? *
* I gotta leave *
334
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:04,834
* No, we ain't seen her! *
335
00:11:04,834 --> 00:11:06,201
* She give my money *
336
00:11:06,201 --> 00:11:08,067
♪ Now I ain't sayin'
she a gold digger ♪
337
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:10,067
* When I'm in need *
* But she ain't messin' *
338
00:11:10,067 --> 00:11:11,967
* With no broke, broke, uh *
* She give me money *
339
00:11:11,967 --> 00:11:13,101
♪ Now I ain't sayin'
she a gold digger ♪
340
00:11:13,101 --> 00:11:14,600
* When I'm in need *
341
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:15,700
♪ But she ain't messin'
with no broke, broke, uh ♪
342
00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:17,034
* I gotta leave *
343
00:11:17,034 --> 00:11:19,001
♪ Get down, girl,
go 'head, get down ♪
344
00:11:19,001 --> 00:11:20,334
* I gotta leave *
* Get down, oh, oh *
345
00:11:20,334 --> 00:11:21,967
♪ Get down, girl,
go 'head, get down ♪
346
00:11:21,967 --> 00:11:23,533
* I gotta leave *
* Get down, girl *
347
00:11:23,533 --> 00:11:24,434
* Go 'head, get down *
* I gotta leave *
348
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,834
♪ Get down, girl, go 'head ♪
349
00:11:25,834 --> 00:11:28,067
* She give me money *
* 18 years, 18 years *
350
00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:29,700
* When I'm in need *
* She got one of yo' kids *
351
00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:31,533
* Got you for 18 years *
* She give me money *
352
00:11:31,533 --> 00:11:33,967
♪ I know somebody paying child
support for one of his kids ♪
353
00:11:33,967 --> 00:11:35,533
* When I'm in need *
354
00:11:35,533 --> 00:11:36,734
♪ His baby mama car crib
is bigger than his ♪
355
00:11:36,734 --> 00:11:37,734
♪ You will see him on TV ♪
356
00:11:37,734 --> 00:11:38,734
♪ Any given Sunday ♪
357
00:11:38,734 --> 00:11:39,734
* I gotta leave *
358
00:11:39,734 --> 00:11:40,867
♪ Win the Super Bowl ♪
359
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,600
♪ And drive off in a Hyundai ♪
360
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,533
♪ She was supposed to buy
ya shorty Tyco with ya money ♪
361
00:11:44,533 --> 00:11:46,334
* I gotta leave *
* She went to the doctor *
362
00:11:46,334 --> 00:11:48,001
* Got lipo with ya money *
* She give me money *
363
00:11:48,001 --> 00:11:49,767
♪ She walkin' around lookin'
like Michael with ya money ♪
364
00:11:49,767 --> 00:11:51,533
* When I'm in need *
* Shoulda' got that insured *
365
00:11:51,533 --> 00:11:53,201
* Geico for ya money *
* She give me money *
366
00:11:53,201 --> 00:11:55,101
♪ If you ain't no crook ♪
367
00:11:55,101 --> 00:11:56,834
* When I'm in need *
* Holla' we want pre-nup *
368
00:11:56,834 --> 00:11:58,900
♪ We want pre-nup! Yeah! ♪
369
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:00,201
(laughter)
370
00:12:00,201 --> 00:12:01,533
That was fun.
371
00:12:01,533 --> 00:12:03,267
All right,
just like that. Ready?
372
00:12:03,267 --> 00:12:05,267
(toilet flushing)
373
00:12:09,067 --> 00:12:11,267
(coughing and retching)
374
00:12:17,101 --> 00:12:18,401
(coughing)
375
00:12:18,401 --> 00:12:20,334
Rachel, did you
just throw up?
376
00:12:20,334 --> 00:12:21,500
No.
377
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:22,900
You missed
the toilet.
378
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:25,500
The girl who was throwing up
before me left that.
379
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:28,633
I tried, but I guess
I just don't have a gag reflex.
380
00:12:28,633 --> 00:12:30,034
One day when
you're older,
381
00:12:30,034 --> 00:12:32,167
that'll turn
out to be a gift.
382
00:12:32,167 --> 00:12:33,834
Let's have a
little chat, okay?
383
00:12:33,834 --> 00:12:35,301
(school bell ringing)
384
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:50,567
(clears throat)
Rachel, bulimia is a very
385
00:12:52,134 --> 00:12:54,201
messy, serious disease.
386
00:12:54,201 --> 00:12:55,900
I don't have bulimia.
387
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:59,633
I tried it and failed,
and won't ever attempt it again.
388
00:12:59,633 --> 00:13:00,600
Okay.
389
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:01,800
It grossed me out.
390
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,234
Okay, but I still want to talk
391
00:13:03,234 --> 00:13:04,500
about the feelings that you had
392
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,700
that led up to you wanting
to puke your guts out.
393
00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:07,934
I want to be thinner.
394
00:13:09,334 --> 00:13:10,700
And prettier
like that Quinn girl.
395
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:13,134
Mm-hmm, and, um, why is that?
396
00:13:13,134 --> 00:13:15,134
Have you ever liked somebody
so much,
397
00:13:15,134 --> 00:13:17,533
you just want to lock yourself
in your room,
398
00:13:17,533 --> 00:13:19,101
turn on sad music and cry?
399
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,767
No.
400
00:13:23,767 --> 00:13:26,201
(to song on radio):
* All by my... *
401
00:13:26,201 --> 00:13:28,101
(crying)
402
00:13:28,101 --> 00:13:29,533
By myself.
403
00:13:29,533 --> 00:13:30,734
I'm by myself.
404
00:13:30,734 --> 00:13:32,301
♪ Don't want to be... ♪
405
00:13:32,301 --> 00:13:35,101
Uh, but a boy crush, huh?
406
00:13:35,101 --> 00:13:36,967
I know about that.
I mean, not now.
407
00:13:36,967 --> 00:13:38,600
It takes me back in the day.
408
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,700
Like, a long time ago
I knew about that.
409
00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:42,567
You know what? You need
to remember, Rachel,
410
00:13:42,567 --> 00:13:43,734
to protect your heart.
411
00:13:43,734 --> 00:13:45,101
I don't care who he is.
412
00:13:45,101 --> 00:13:47,368
If he doesn't like you
for the way you are,
413
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:48,967
or if he's...
you know, he's married
414
00:13:48,967 --> 00:13:50,468
with a baby on the way,
415
00:13:50,468 --> 00:13:51,767
that's not worth
the heartache.
416
00:13:51,767 --> 00:13:55,001
You don't want to compromise...
yourself... for that.
417
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,967
Um... (clears throat)
418
00:13:56,967 --> 00:13:58,834
Have you just tried
419
00:13:58,834 --> 00:14:00,567
telling him how you feel?
420
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,334
He doesn't even notice me.
421
00:14:03,334 --> 00:14:05,368
I see.
422
00:14:05,368 --> 00:14:08,368
Um, okay, well,
here's what I think.
423
00:14:08,368 --> 00:14:11,301
Common interests
are the key to romance.
424
00:14:11,301 --> 00:14:13,401
All right? So find out
what he likes.
425
00:14:13,401 --> 00:14:15,767
Then he'll see you
in a positive way, and
426
00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:17,101
maybe you'll end up doing
something that you won't even expect.
427
00:14:31,234 --> 00:14:33,467
SUE:
Would you like
428
00:14:33,467 --> 00:14:35,267
to tell Principal Figgins
and Mr. Schuester
429
00:14:35,267 --> 00:14:37,467
what I caught you two doing?
430
00:14:37,467 --> 00:14:40,000
It just sort of happened.
431
00:14:41,434 --> 00:14:43,000
I don't mean
to be rude,
432
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,300
but I think she's
overreacting.
433
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,768
You watch your tone, young lady.
434
00:14:46,768 --> 00:14:48,000
Gay parents
encourage rebellion.
435
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,300
There are
studies on this.
436
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:51,033
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
437
00:14:51,033 --> 00:14:52,900
All right, tell me
what happened, Rachel.
438
00:14:52,900 --> 00:14:55,234
Finn was worried about
having to perform a solo
439
00:14:55,234 --> 00:14:57,567
at the pep assembly in front
of his chromosomally-challenged
440
00:14:57,567 --> 00:14:58,434
friends.
441
00:14:58,434 --> 00:14:59,601
I was immediately concerned
442
00:14:59,601 --> 00:15:00,834
by his lack of self-esteem
443
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:02,300
and made a creative
preemptive strike.
444
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:05,067
Yeah, pretty much
what she said.
445
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:06,768
You know, one of
the amazing things
446
00:15:06,768 --> 00:15:08,734
about being in the
performing arts is that
447
00:15:08,734 --> 00:15:10,967
you can parlay it into
so many different fields.
448
00:15:10,967 --> 00:15:12,501
Like Justin Timberlake.
449
00:15:12,501 --> 00:15:14,933
He's a singer, but he
also has a clothing line.
450
00:15:14,933 --> 00:15:18,567
And you know, he makes
things like shirts and belts.
451
00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:20,634
Who is Justin Timberlake?
452
00:15:20,634 --> 00:15:22,234
RACHEL:
It was a two-fold plan.
453
00:15:22,234 --> 00:15:24,601
We figured that with the right
marketing strategy,
454
00:15:24,601 --> 00:15:26,701
we could pull
from the entire student body
455
00:15:26,701 --> 00:15:28,033
without having an assembly,
456
00:15:28,033 --> 00:15:30,467
thus creating
the diverse Glee Club
457
00:15:30,467 --> 00:15:32,267
this school has been craving.
458
00:15:38,734 --> 00:15:41,967
That copy machine is
for Cheerios use only.
459
00:15:41,967 --> 00:15:44,100
Paid for
by alumni donations.
460
00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:46,501
I can't begin to
fathom the damage
461
00:15:46,501 --> 00:15:49,334
you'd have done to the
program had you broken it.
462
00:15:49,334 --> 00:15:50,401
Hold on a second, Sue.
463
00:15:50,401 --> 00:15:51,534
I resent being told
464
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:52,801
to hold on to anything, William.
465
00:15:52,801 --> 00:15:54,300
I will not be treated
466
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:55,801
like a second-class citizen
because of my gender.
467
00:15:55,801 --> 00:15:57,834
There is a very clear
bureaucracy
468
00:15:57,834 --> 00:16:00,868
when it comes to photocopies,
and you seem to think
469
00:16:00,868 --> 00:16:03,667
that these procedures
don't apply to your students.
470
00:16:03,667 --> 00:16:05,033
It is my strong
recommendation
471
00:16:05,033 --> 00:16:06,601
that both these
students be hobbled.
472
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:11,300
How many copies
did you guys make?
473
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:12,834
17.
474
00:16:12,834 --> 00:16:15,701
Okay. And how much
does a photocopy cost?
475
00:16:15,701 --> 00:16:17,000
Four-and-a-half cents.
476
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,967
How about
they just pay for the copies?
477
00:16:18,967 --> 00:16:20,434
I like this compromise.
478
00:16:20,434 --> 00:16:22,834
Children, pay Ms. Sylvester,
479
00:16:22,834 --> 00:16:24,334
and we'll let you off
with a warning.
480
00:16:24,334 --> 00:16:27,234
And Sue, I'm sorry,
but I'll have to ask you
481
00:16:27,234 --> 00:16:28,634
to personally clean
the congealed
482
00:16:28,634 --> 00:16:30,567
protein shake off
the photocopy room floor.
483
00:16:30,567 --> 00:16:32,267
That's why we
have janitors.
484
00:16:32,267 --> 00:16:34,667
Sue, we're in a recession,
and concessions must be made.
485
00:16:34,667 --> 00:16:36,834
I've laid off half
the janitorial staff.
486
00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:38,667
We all need to lend a hand.
487
00:16:44,701 --> 00:16:47,567
Lady Justice wept today.
488
00:16:49,834 --> 00:16:52,067
I'm sorry
about that, Mr. Shue.
489
00:16:52,067 --> 00:16:54,667
I'd like to get the flyers up
before lunch tomorrow.
490
00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:56,300
You know what, guys?
I don't want to hear it.
491
00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:58,834
Doing that song is going to kill
any chance the Glee Club has.
492
00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:00,000
It's a terrible idea.
493
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,300
I have news for you, Rachel.
494
00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:03,601
Sometimes you have to do
things you don't want to do.
495
00:17:03,601 --> 00:17:04,967
We're doing
the assembly,
496
00:17:04,967 --> 00:17:06,801
and you're not putting
up those flyers.
497
00:17:06,801 --> 00:17:08,801
Everybody loves disco!
498
00:17:10,567 --> 00:17:12,567
It's official.
499
00:17:12,567 --> 00:17:14,567
I'm a dead man.
500
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:17,000
Look, I know
you're nervous,
501
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:21,067
but you're really,
really talented.
502
00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:22,567
Stop it.
503
00:17:22,567 --> 00:17:24,567
I mean, maybe
it'll all be okay.
504
00:17:26,401 --> 00:17:27,701
Do you want
to practice
505
00:17:27,701 --> 00:17:29,734
for the assembly
tomorrow after school?
506
00:17:29,734 --> 00:17:32,200
I can't. I got
a Celibacy Club meeting.
507
00:17:38,868 --> 00:17:42,100
Baby, I have some bad news.
508
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:44,100
A wealthy relative died?
509
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,667
I don't have any
wealthy relatives.
510
00:17:45,667 --> 00:17:46,868
Oh.
511
00:17:46,868 --> 00:17:48,434
I've just been pounding
the pavement
512
00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:49,933
all week
after Glee rehearsal.
513
00:17:49,933 --> 00:17:52,534
I... I can't find
any extra work.
514
00:17:52,534 --> 00:17:55,768
That probably means
no grand foyer.
515
00:17:55,768 --> 00:17:58,634
Why can't we ever be the
ones to catch a break?
516
00:17:58,634 --> 00:18:00,667
No, no. It's going
to be okay, baby.
517
00:18:00,667 --> 00:18:03,401
I mean, we don't need
a grand foyer to be happy...
518
00:18:03,401 --> 00:18:06,067
No. You know what? I'm so
tired of the compromising.
519
00:18:06,067 --> 00:18:09,167
I want my grand foyer,
I want my dream house.
520
00:18:09,167 --> 00:18:11,033
I work hard,
I sacrifice,
521
00:18:11,033 --> 00:18:13,467
I deserve it.
522
00:18:14,501 --> 00:18:16,334
You know, we give and we give.
523
00:18:16,334 --> 00:18:17,900
Do you think that the big shots
524
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:19,067
at Sheets N' Things care
525
00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:20,768
that I sell more
personal massagers
526
00:18:20,768 --> 00:18:22,200
than any other
assistant manager?
527
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,667
No. Or do you think
that those kids--
528
00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:27,033
that they give a damn
that we go with so little
529
00:18:27,033 --> 00:18:28,868
because you spend
all your spare time
530
00:18:28,868 --> 00:18:31,801
choreographing those
stupid dance routines?
531
00:18:31,801 --> 00:18:33,234
I mean, when
532
00:18:33,234 --> 00:18:36,267
does anyone start giving back?
533
00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:43,967
(sighs)
534
00:18:50,033 --> 00:18:52,033
(rapid scraping)
535
00:18:56,634 --> 00:18:59,933
I thought you asked Sue
to clean up after herself.
536
00:18:59,933 --> 00:19:02,367
Sue got a note
from the school nurse claiming
537
00:19:02,367 --> 00:19:03,933
that her lupus
made it impossible
538
00:19:03,933 --> 00:19:05,868
to bend over a bucket of suds.
539
00:19:05,868 --> 00:19:07,900
I've been here
till 10:00 p.m. every night
540
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:11,134
up to my elbows in Vamoose.
541
00:19:13,967 --> 00:19:15,967
Any problem with me taking over
542
00:19:15,967 --> 00:19:18,000
one of those nighttime
janitorial slots?
543
00:19:19,933 --> 00:19:22,234
I'll work at half salary.
544
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,000
The Celibacy Club
is now in session.
545
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,467
Thanks to a school rule
546
00:19:30,467 --> 00:19:33,167
that says we have
to let anyone join the club,
547
00:19:33,167 --> 00:19:35,401
we're welcoming a new member
this week.
548
00:19:36,701 --> 00:19:38,334
Rachel, what's her name?
549
00:19:38,334 --> 00:19:40,033
Where are all the boys?
550
00:19:40,033 --> 00:19:41,367
Down the hall.
551
00:19:41,367 --> 00:19:43,000
First half hour, we separate.
552
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,367
Then we come together
to share our faith.
553
00:19:45,367 --> 00:19:49,067
FINN:
I'm still on the fence
about the Celibacy Club.
554
00:19:49,067 --> 00:19:52,601
I mean, I only joined to get
into Quinn Fabray's pants.
555
00:19:52,601 --> 00:19:56,067
Still, it is a productive way
for us guys to get together
556
00:19:56,067 --> 00:19:58,067
and talk about sexual issues.
557
00:19:58,067 --> 00:20:00,000
I think
I'm going to kill myself.
558
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,434
I'm serious.
559
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,667
We're bombarded with
sexual imagery every day.
560
00:20:03,667 --> 00:20:05,167
Beer ads, those
short skirts.
561
00:20:05,167 --> 00:20:07,467
I'm supposed to be
surrounded by temptation,
562
00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:09,567
not be able to do
anything about it?
563
00:20:09,567 --> 00:20:11,334
Are you kidding?
564
00:20:11,334 --> 00:20:14,033
Those skirts are
crunchy toast.
565
00:20:14,033 --> 00:20:17,401
Santana Lopez bent over
in her's the other day,
566
00:20:17,401 --> 00:20:19,367
and I swear I could
see her ovaries.
567
00:20:21,267 --> 00:20:23,300
God bless the perv
that invented these.
568
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:25,434
Remember the power
motto, girls.
569
00:20:25,434 --> 00:20:28,601
ALL:
It's all about the teasing
and not about the pleasing.
570
00:20:28,601 --> 00:20:30,567
Oh!
Back it up like a
a dump truck,
baby.
571
00:20:32,067 --> 00:20:34,434
So, how far does Quinn
let you get anyway?
572
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:37,634
We grind, make out.
573
00:20:37,634 --> 00:20:40,834
But how do you keep
from... arriving early?
574
00:20:40,834 --> 00:20:45,000
Whenever I grind,
Cinco de Mayo.
575
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,167
(laughs)
576
00:20:46,167 --> 00:20:48,167
It's not a problem for me, man.
577
00:20:49,401 --> 00:20:51,134
Actually, it's a big problem.
578
00:20:51,134 --> 00:20:52,634
Somebody once told me
579
00:20:52,634 --> 00:20:54,134
that to keep
from erupting too early,
580
00:20:54,134 --> 00:20:56,000
you should think
of dead kittens and stuff.
581
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,134
But the only image
that works for me happened
582
00:20:58,134 --> 00:20:59,834
the day my mom took me out
583
00:20:59,834 --> 00:21:01,267
to practice
for my driver's permit.
584
00:21:01,267 --> 00:21:02,734
Pretty good, honey.
585
00:21:02,734 --> 00:21:04,567
Who says a father figure's
necessary, huh?
586
00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:05,734
(laughs)
587
00:21:05,734 --> 00:21:07,134
Driving's fun.
Yeah.
588
00:21:07,134 --> 00:21:08,534
(grunts)
(screams)
589
00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:09,834
Oh, my God!
590
00:21:09,834 --> 00:21:12,100
Oh, my! Oh, my!
Oh, my God, you killed him.
591
00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:14,067
What are you gonna do?
592
00:21:14,067 --> 00:21:17,000
Let's pair up
for the Immaculate Affection.
593
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:20,000
Now, remember,
if the balloon pops,
594
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,868
the noise makes the angels cry.
595
00:21:21,868 --> 00:21:25,467
(male chorus vocalizing)
596
00:21:25,467 --> 00:21:28,601
(female chorus harmonizing)
597
00:21:35,634 --> 00:21:37,801
You enchant me.
598
00:21:37,801 --> 00:21:38,967
BOY:
Yeah.
599
00:21:38,967 --> 00:21:40,200
- Stop it!
- Take it.
600
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,134
- Ah, yeah!
- Oh!
601
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:43,634
Finn!
602
00:21:43,634 --> 00:21:45,667
It must have hit my zipper.
603
00:21:45,667 --> 00:21:48,100
You know what?
This is a joke.
604
00:21:49,167 --> 00:21:50,634
Did you know
605
00:21:50,634 --> 00:21:52,000
that most studies
have demonstrated
606
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,834
that celibacy doesn't work
in high schools?
607
00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:55,100
Our hormones
608
00:21:55,100 --> 00:21:57,100
are driving us too crazy
to abstain.
609
00:21:57,100 --> 00:21:58,501
The second
we start telling ourselves
610
00:21:58,501 --> 00:22:00,434
that there's no room
for compromise, we act out.
611
00:22:00,434 --> 00:22:02,067
The only way to deal
with teen sexuality
612
00:22:02,067 --> 00:22:04,134
is to be prepared.
613
00:22:04,134 --> 00:22:05,933
That's what contraception
is for.
614
00:22:05,933 --> 00:22:07,967
Don't you dare mention
the "C" word.
615
00:22:07,967 --> 00:22:10,701
You want to know
a dirty little secret
616
00:22:10,701 --> 00:22:12,334
that none of them want you
to know?
617
00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:15,801
Girls want sex
just as much as guys do.
618
00:22:19,534 --> 00:22:22,501
Is - is that accurate?
619
00:22:22,501 --> 00:22:25,100
(scraping)
620
00:22:30,167 --> 00:22:32,534
Will?
621
00:22:32,534 --> 00:22:34,134
Aah... aah.
622
00:22:34,134 --> 00:22:37,167
Emma... what are you doing here
so late?
623
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,667
I do SAT prep on Tuesday nights.
624
00:22:40,667 --> 00:22:42,834
Are you, um, are you a janitor?
625
00:22:42,834 --> 00:22:44,868
A ja-- no.
626
00:22:44,868 --> 00:22:46,300
Really?
627
00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:47,667
'Cause you're dressed
like a janitor
628
00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,701
and your shirt says "Will."
629
00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:52,534
Um... Terri and I are trying
to buy a house,
630
00:22:52,534 --> 00:22:55,200
and we're, you know, struggling
to make ends meet, and...
631
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,367
(sighs)
632
00:22:57,367 --> 00:23:02,000
I'm really embarrassed.
633
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,134
Would you mind keeping this
between us?
634
00:23:04,134 --> 00:23:06,267
Yeah.
635
00:23:06,267 --> 00:23:09,401
Oh, yeah, your secret's
completely safe with me.
636
00:23:09,401 --> 00:23:11,167
Thank you.
637
00:23:11,167 --> 00:23:13,033
Do you, um...
638
00:23:13,033 --> 00:23:14,267
Do you want a hand?
639
00:23:14,267 --> 00:23:15,601
Oh, no.
640
00:23:15,601 --> 00:23:17,033
I-I'm good, really.
641
00:23:17,033 --> 00:23:19,567
Really, because, um,
I can see from here
642
00:23:19,567 --> 00:23:21,834
that you've used window
cleaner to mop the floor.
643
00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:23,868
And, uh, that keyboard is
crawling in E coli,
644
00:23:23,868 --> 00:23:25,501
because I know for a fact
Ms. Hoffmeyer
645
00:23:25,501 --> 00:23:26,868
doesn't wash her hands
after doing number twos.
646
00:23:31,367 --> 00:23:34,367
I really admire you working
so hard for something you want.
647
00:23:35,868 --> 00:23:37,000
Let's make a deal.
648
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,534
You're helping me
with my problem,
649
00:23:38,534 --> 00:23:40,601
how about I take a stab
at one of yours?
650
00:23:40,601 --> 00:23:41,834
Oh, no, I don't,
651
00:23:41,834 --> 00:23:44,100
I don't have a problem.
652
00:23:44,100 --> 00:23:46,768
You've been scrubbing that
pencil sharpener for an hour.
653
00:23:46,768 --> 00:23:48,768
Well, I mean, I have,
654
00:23:48,768 --> 00:23:50,200
I have a little
trouble with messes,
655
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,868
but it's not like it's a...
problem.
656
00:23:58,467 --> 00:24:00,200
Okay.
657
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:01,967
When I was a little girl,
658
00:24:01,967 --> 00:24:04,467
it was my dream
to work on a dairy farm.
659
00:24:04,467 --> 00:24:06,134
Really?
660
00:24:06,134 --> 00:24:07,801
Um, when I was eight,
661
00:24:07,801 --> 00:24:10,200
we finally visited one,
and after the tour
662
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:13,367
and the yogurt tasting,
my, my brother
663
00:24:13,367 --> 00:24:15,000
pushed me into
the runoff lagoon.
664
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,234
What?
665
00:24:16,234 --> 00:24:18,834
And, um, ever since then
I've just...
666
00:24:18,834 --> 00:24:20,801
I've had a little trouble
667
00:24:20,801 --> 00:24:22,734
forgetting the, uh, the smell.
668
00:24:24,367 --> 00:24:26,634
Have you thought about,
I don't know,
669
00:24:26,634 --> 00:24:28,033
maybe seeing someone
about that?
670
00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:30,200
Oh, no, it's completely
manageable.
671
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,234
You know, I just try to take
lots of showers
672
00:24:32,234 --> 00:24:33,868
and I, um, you know,
I don't eat dairy.
673
00:24:33,868 --> 00:24:35,868
So...
674
00:24:36,933 --> 00:24:39,267
I want to try...
675
00:24:41,667 --> 00:24:43,601
...a little experiment.
676
00:24:43,601 --> 00:24:46,467
Oh, no. No, I'm not really,
um, comfortable
677
00:24:46,467 --> 00:24:49,000
with, with... that.
678
00:24:59,300 --> 00:25:00,634
There.
679
00:25:02,534 --> 00:25:04,868
Ten seconds.
680
00:25:04,868 --> 00:25:07,000
New record.
681
00:25:10,667 --> 00:25:13,667
It's late. I should, um...
682
00:25:13,667 --> 00:25:16,334
I should be, um... going.
683
00:25:25,067 --> 00:25:27,100
(gavel banging)
I officially
684
00:25:27,100 --> 00:25:29,067
call this meeting
of Glee Club in session.
685
00:25:29,067 --> 00:25:31,267
- But Mr. Schuester isn't here.
- Mr. Schuester
isn't coming.
686
00:25:31,267 --> 00:25:32,868
I paid a freshman
to ask him for help
687
00:25:32,868 --> 00:25:34,667
with irregular verbs.
(Mercedes groans)
688
00:25:34,667 --> 00:25:37,367
I'm so sick of hearing you
squawk, Eva Peron.
689
00:25:37,367 --> 00:25:38,868
Let her talk.
690
00:25:40,401 --> 00:25:43,601
I have another idea
for the assembly.
691
00:25:43,601 --> 00:25:45,067
Can I, once again,
stress my most strenuous
692
00:25:45,067 --> 00:25:46,834
objections to this
attempted suicide?
693
00:25:46,834 --> 00:25:48,134
They're not going to kill us.
694
00:25:48,134 --> 00:25:49,734
Because we're going to give them
what they want.
695
00:25:49,734 --> 00:25:51,667
- Blood?
- Better.
696
00:25:51,667 --> 00:25:54,401
Sex.
697
00:25:55,834 --> 00:25:56,933
(feedback squeaks)
698
00:25:56,933 --> 00:25:58,234
Silence, children.
699
00:25:58,234 --> 00:25:59,567
Silence.
700
00:25:59,567 --> 00:26:02,067
First, an announcement.
701
00:26:02,067 --> 00:26:04,768
The toilets are broken again.
702
00:26:04,768 --> 00:26:08,334
We are fixing the problem,
but let me warn you.
703
00:26:08,334 --> 00:26:10,734
There will be zero tolerance
704
00:26:10,734 --> 00:26:13,401
for anyone soiling
school grounds.
705
00:26:13,401 --> 00:26:15,467
We're not going to have
a repeat of last time.
706
00:26:17,367 --> 00:26:19,234
We have a treat
for you guys today.
707
00:26:19,234 --> 00:26:20,701
Mr. Schuester.
708
00:26:20,701 --> 00:26:22,967
Yay, Glee!
709
00:26:22,967 --> 00:26:24,768
Glee kids, hooray!
710
00:26:24,768 --> 00:26:28,401
Hi. Uh, when I went
to school here,
711
00:26:28,401 --> 00:26:30,334
Glee Club ruled this place.
712
00:26:30,334 --> 00:26:32,033
And we're on our way back.
713
00:26:32,033 --> 00:26:33,933
But we need some recruits
to join the party.
714
00:26:33,933 --> 00:26:36,868
Now, I could tell you all about
715
00:26:36,868 --> 00:26:39,334
how great Glee is, but, uh,
716
00:26:39,334 --> 00:26:41,401
I think I'm going to let
some friends of mine
717
00:26:41,401 --> 00:26:42,768
show you instead.
718
00:26:47,801 --> 00:26:49,567
♪ Get up on this ♪
719
00:26:49,567 --> 00:26:52,467
("Push It" plays)
720
00:26:52,467 --> 00:26:54,401
♪ Get up on this ♪
♪ Ooh, baby, baby ♪
721
00:26:54,401 --> 00:26:56,768
♪ Ba - baby, baby ♪
722
00:26:56,768 --> 00:26:58,634
♪ Ooh, baby, baby ♪
723
00:26:58,634 --> 00:27:01,734
♪ Ba-baby, baby ♪
♪ Get up on this ♪
724
00:27:01,734 --> 00:27:03,300
♪ Push it ♪
♪ Hey! ♪
725
00:27:03,300 --> 00:27:04,601
♪ Get up on this ♪
726
00:27:04,601 --> 00:27:06,134
♪ Push it ♪
727
00:27:06,134 --> 00:27:08,234
♪ Sa, sa, sa, sa, sa
Salt and Pepa's here ♪
728
00:27:08,234 --> 00:27:11,100
♪ Get up on this ♪
♪ Now, wait a minute, y'all. ♪
729
00:27:11,100 --> 00:27:13,334
♪ Now, this dance ain't
for e'rybody ♪
730
00:27:13,334 --> 00:27:15,567
♪ Only the sexy people ♪
731
00:27:16,933 --> 00:27:18,900
♪ So all you fly mothers ♪
732
00:27:18,900 --> 00:27:20,634
♪ Get on out there and dance ♪
733
00:27:20,634 --> 00:27:22,334
♪ Dance, I said ♪
734
00:27:22,334 --> 00:27:23,467
♪ Holla! ♪
♪ Sa-Salt and Pepa's here ♪
735
00:27:23,467 --> 00:27:25,768
♪ And we're in effect,
want you ♪
736
00:27:25,768 --> 00:27:27,234
♪ To push it, babe ♪
737
00:27:27,234 --> 00:27:29,501
♪ Coolin' by day,
then at night ♪
738
00:27:29,501 --> 00:27:31,300
♪ Workin' up a sweat,
come on, girls ♪
739
00:27:31,300 --> 00:27:33,667
♪ Let's go show the guys
that we know ♪
740
00:27:33,667 --> 00:27:37,467
♪ How to become number one
in a hot party show ♪
741
00:27:37,467 --> 00:27:38,467
♪ Now push it ♪
742
00:27:38,467 --> 00:27:40,100
♪ Ah... push it ♪
743
00:27:40,100 --> 00:27:42,067
♪ Push it good ♪
744
00:27:42,067 --> 00:27:43,933
♪ Ah... push it ♪
745
00:27:43,933 --> 00:27:45,768
♪ Push it real good ♪
746
00:27:45,768 --> 00:27:47,868
♪ Ah... push it ♪
747
00:27:47,868 --> 00:27:49,601
♪ Push it good ♪
748
00:27:49,601 --> 00:27:51,768
♪ Ah... push it ♪
749
00:27:51,768 --> 00:27:54,100
♪ Puh-push it real good ♪
750
00:27:54,100 --> 00:27:56,067
♪ Ah... push it ♪
751
00:27:56,067 --> 00:27:57,734
♪ Get up on this ♪
752
00:27:57,734 --> 00:27:59,200
♪ Hey! ♪
753
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:00,933
♪ Get up on this ♪
754
00:28:00,933 --> 00:28:02,401
♪ Yo, baby pop ♪
755
00:28:02,401 --> 00:28:05,033
♪ Yeah, you,
come here, give me a kiss ♪
756
00:28:05,033 --> 00:28:07,900
♪ Better make it fast
or else I'm gonna get pissed ♪
757
00:28:07,900 --> 00:28:10,067
♪ Can you hear the music
pumpin' hard ♪
758
00:28:10,067 --> 00:28:11,534
♪ Like I wish you would? ♪
759
00:28:11,534 --> 00:28:12,933
♪ Now push it ♪
♪ Ah... ♪
760
00:28:12,933 --> 00:28:14,033
♪ Push it ♪
761
00:28:15,067 --> 00:28:16,334
♪ Push it good ♪
762
00:28:16,334 --> 00:28:17,401
♪ Ah... push it ♪
763
00:28:17,401 --> 00:28:19,434
♪ Push it real good ♪
764
00:28:19,434 --> 00:28:22,100
♪ Ah... push it ♪
765
00:28:22,100 --> 00:28:23,834
♪ Push it good ♪
766
00:28:23,834 --> 00:28:25,401
♪ Ah... push it ♪
767
00:28:25,401 --> 00:28:28,234
♪ Puh-push it real good ♪
♪ Ah... ♪
768
00:28:28,234 --> 00:28:30,401
♪ Push it ♪
769
00:28:30,401 --> 00:28:32,701
♪ Get up on this ♪
♪ Ah... push it ♪
770
00:28:33,734 --> 00:28:34,868
♪ Get up on this ♪
771
00:28:34,868 --> 00:28:36,134
♪ Ow! ♪
♪ Holla! ♪
772
00:28:38,134 --> 00:28:40,167
♪ Get up on this ♪
♪ Ah... push it ♪
773
00:28:40,167 --> 00:28:42,567
♪ Hey! ♪
♪ Ah... ♪
774
00:28:42,567 --> 00:28:45,033
♪ Push it. ♪
775
00:28:46,334 --> 00:28:47,868
Yes!
776
00:28:47,868 --> 00:28:49,900
(Roaring applause)
777
00:29:01,134 --> 00:29:03,300
Let me be the one
to break the silence.
778
00:29:04,734 --> 00:29:07,300
That was the most offensive
thing I've seen
779
00:29:07,300 --> 00:29:09,300
in 20 years of teaching.
780
00:29:09,300 --> 00:29:12,033
And that includes an elementary
school production of Hair.
781
00:29:12,033 --> 00:29:13,834
We received angry e-mails
782
00:29:13,834 --> 00:29:15,334
from a number
of concerned parents,
783
00:29:15,334 --> 00:29:18,234
many of whom thought
that their children
were going to hear
784
00:29:18,234 --> 00:29:21,634
a Special Olympian speak
about overcoming adversity.
785
00:29:21,634 --> 00:29:24,401
I... I really don't
know what to say.
786
00:29:24,401 --> 00:29:26,434
Well, let me help
you out, then.
787
00:29:26,434 --> 00:29:27,534
My first thought
788
00:29:27,534 --> 00:29:28,933
was that your students
should be
789
00:29:28,933 --> 00:29:30,434
put into foster care.
790
00:29:30,434 --> 00:29:32,167
(sighs)
791
00:29:32,167 --> 00:29:34,601
But you're the one
who should be punished.
792
00:29:34,601 --> 00:29:37,501
I demand your resignation
from this school,
793
00:29:37,501 --> 00:29:40,434
as well as the disbanding
of Glee Club.
794
00:29:40,434 --> 00:29:41,601
Now, hold on, Sue.
795
00:29:41,601 --> 00:29:42,933
The issue is content.
796
00:29:42,933 --> 00:29:44,267
Those kids are talented.
797
00:29:44,267 --> 00:29:47,367
And I have not
seen the student
body this excited
798
00:29:47,367 --> 00:29:49,200
since Tiffany performed
at the North Hills Mall.
799
00:29:51,401 --> 00:29:54,267
I took the liberty
of calling my pastor
800
00:29:54,267 --> 00:29:56,434
to provide a list
of family-friendly songs
801
00:29:56,434 --> 00:29:58,734
that reflect
our community's values.
802
00:29:58,734 --> 00:30:01,300
Your kids can only perform these
preapproved musical selections.
803
00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:04,033
But all these songs
have either
804
00:30:04,033 --> 00:30:05,967
"Jesus" or "balloons"
in the title.
805
00:30:05,967 --> 00:30:08,067
But they're also songs
about the circus.
806
00:30:08,067 --> 00:30:10,834
This egg is
sunny-side up, Will.
807
00:30:10,834 --> 00:30:12,467
You need new outfits.
808
00:30:12,467 --> 00:30:15,401
I got several flashes of panty
from your group today,
809
00:30:15,401 --> 00:30:17,300
and I'm not talking
about the girls.
810
00:30:17,300 --> 00:30:20,534
So, Sue, I'm cutting
your dry-cleaning budget
811
00:30:20,534 --> 00:30:22,567
to pay for new costumes
for the Glee Club.
812
00:30:22,567 --> 00:30:25,100
This will not stand.
813
00:30:25,100 --> 00:30:26,667
Oh, Sue.
814
00:30:26,667 --> 00:30:29,100
The dry-cleaners here
are just as good as the ones
815
00:30:29,100 --> 00:30:30,634
in Europe.
816
00:30:37,900 --> 00:30:39,501
Mr. Schuester, I'm so sorry.
817
00:30:39,501 --> 00:30:42,067
Do you understand what you
did today? You lied to me.
818
00:30:42,067 --> 00:30:44,467
And you ruined our chances.
No parent in their right mind
819
00:30:44,467 --> 00:30:46,334
is going to let their
kid join Glee now.
820
00:30:46,334 --> 00:30:47,567
Oh, and, uh, here's a list
821
00:30:47,567 --> 00:30:48,933
of the songs that
we're allowed to sing.
822
00:30:48,933 --> 00:30:51,100
What's a "luftballoon"?
823
00:30:51,100 --> 00:30:53,701
Look, I know how much
you care about Glee Club.
824
00:30:53,701 --> 00:30:56,367
And I understand why
you did what you did.
825
00:30:56,367 --> 00:30:59,434
But I don't like
the way you did it.
826
00:31:16,967 --> 00:31:18,301
They're for Tulip-A-Looza.
827
00:31:19,301 --> 00:31:20,334
It's a tulip festival down
828
00:31:20,334 --> 00:31:21,467
at the Columbus
Convention Center.
829
00:31:21,467 --> 00:31:22,668
It's supposed
to smell pretty nice.
830
00:31:22,668 --> 00:31:24,100
That's really
sweet of you, Ken,
831
00:31:24,100 --> 00:31:26,668
but I have a... asthma.
832
00:31:26,668 --> 00:31:29,334
What are you doing?
833
00:31:29,334 --> 00:31:30,634
Chasing a married guy.
834
00:31:31,833 --> 00:31:33,167
I saw you playing house
835
00:31:33,167 --> 00:31:34,434
with him after hours, Emma.
836
00:31:34,434 --> 00:31:36,501
Look.
837
00:31:36,501 --> 00:31:38,267
I don't know a lot
about relationships.
838
00:31:38,267 --> 00:31:40,634
Most of mine are short and flame
out once the sex goes,
839
00:31:40,634 --> 00:31:42,967
but I do know you never want
to be the rebounder.
840
00:31:44,768 --> 00:31:46,800
I'm a good man, Emma.
841
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,167
I'll treat you right.
I'll put up with all your crazy.
842
00:31:49,167 --> 00:31:51,367
They can't fire me
'cause I'm a minority,
843
00:31:51,367 --> 00:31:53,167
so I'll always be able
to provide for you.
844
00:31:53,167 --> 00:31:55,167
You could do a lot worse,
845
00:31:55,167 --> 00:31:57,800
and in this town, you're not
going to do much better.
846
00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:01,167
Okay, I'm done talking now.
847
00:32:06,367 --> 00:32:07,567
Try it.
848
00:32:07,567 --> 00:32:08,567
♪ La. ♪
849
00:32:08,567 --> 00:32:09,867
Good.
That was good.
850
00:32:09,867 --> 00:32:11,367
Okay, one more up.
(plays higher note)
851
00:32:11,367 --> 00:32:12,900
♪ La. ♪
852
00:32:12,900 --> 00:32:14,334
That was really good.
Is that okay?
853
00:32:14,334 --> 00:32:17,067
Yeah, it's like the Holy Grail
for a baritenor,
854
00:32:17,067 --> 00:32:18,434
so it's a good note.
855
00:32:18,434 --> 00:32:19,668
All right, I'll start
856
00:32:19,668 --> 00:32:21,534
at the bottom,
and then we'll go up higher.
857
00:32:21,534 --> 00:32:22,967
Can we take a break?
858
00:32:22,967 --> 00:32:23,768
Singing kind of makes me
a little hungry.
859
00:32:23,768 --> 00:32:24,933
Yeah, sure.
860
00:32:24,933 --> 00:32:26,867
Well, lucky I prepared for that.
861
00:32:26,867 --> 00:32:29,234
Wow, I was wondering
what that was all about.
862
00:32:29,234 --> 00:32:31,301
Want to sit?
863
00:32:31,301 --> 00:32:33,067
Yeah, yeah.
864
00:32:33,067 --> 00:32:34,567
Absolutely.
865
00:32:34,567 --> 00:32:37,734
I was wondering why you asked me
to help you with your singing.
866
00:32:39,067 --> 00:32:40,701
You kicked butt
at the assembly.
867
00:32:40,701 --> 00:32:41,734
Well, this is...
868
00:32:41,734 --> 00:32:43,867
my only chance to be,
869
00:32:43,867 --> 00:32:45,434
you know, good like you.
870
00:32:46,967 --> 00:32:48,634
You think I'm good?
871
00:32:48,634 --> 00:32:51,167
Well, when I first joined, I
thought you were kind of insane.
872
00:32:51,167 --> 00:32:53,701
I mean, you talk a lot more than
you should, and to be honest
873
00:32:53,701 --> 00:32:55,134
with you, I looked
under the bed
874
00:32:55,134 --> 00:32:56,301
and made sure
that you weren't
875
00:32:56,301 --> 00:32:57,768
hanging out under there.
876
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,134
But then, I heard you sing.
877
00:33:01,134 --> 00:33:02,634
I don't know
how to say this,
878
00:33:02,634 --> 00:33:04,534
but you touched
something in me.
879
00:33:05,668 --> 00:33:08,267
Right here.
880
00:33:08,267 --> 00:33:10,567
Your heart's on the other
881
00:33:10,567 --> 00:33:12,601
side of your chest.
882
00:33:12,601 --> 00:33:15,167
Oh.
883
00:33:15,167 --> 00:33:17,534
It's beating really hard.
884
00:33:19,567 --> 00:33:21,967
You're cool, Rachel.
885
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:24,067
Do you want a drink?
886
00:33:24,067 --> 00:33:26,067
Yeah.
887
00:33:27,167 --> 00:33:30,634
Virgin cosmos.
Cool.
888
00:33:30,634 --> 00:33:32,267
That stuff you said
at the Celibacy Club,
889
00:33:32,267 --> 00:33:33,267
that was really cool.
890
00:33:33,267 --> 00:33:35,200
Thanks.
891
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,167
Well...
892
00:33:37,167 --> 00:33:38,833
Cheers.
893
00:33:38,833 --> 00:33:40,134
Cheers.
894
00:33:40,134 --> 00:33:43,134
The cups are like
the airplane cups.
895
00:33:46,967 --> 00:33:48,933
Oh, you got a little Cosmo
right...
896
00:33:48,933 --> 00:33:50,933
here.
897
00:33:55,167 --> 00:33:57,701
You know, you can kiss me
if you want to.
898
00:33:59,467 --> 00:34:01,467
I want to.
899
00:34:24,900 --> 00:34:26,467
What?
900
00:34:26,467 --> 00:34:29,167
(screaming):
Oh, my God!
901
00:34:29,167 --> 00:34:30,701
What are you gonna do?!
902
00:34:30,701 --> 00:34:31,668
Did I do something wrong?
903
00:34:31,668 --> 00:34:33,933
No, no. Um...
I just got to go.
904
00:34:33,933 --> 00:34:37,100
Look, please don't tell
anybody about this, okay?
905
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:50,234
I don't want my baby
to grow an extra arm
906
00:34:50,234 --> 00:34:52,634
just because I live in squalor
and I'm so stressed.
907
00:34:52,634 --> 00:34:55,334
So, I want you to run
any and all tests you have.
908
00:34:55,334 --> 00:34:57,234
Trust me, you're clear.
909
00:34:57,234 --> 00:34:58,401
Are you sure?
910
00:34:58,401 --> 00:34:59,501
Positive.
911
00:34:59,501 --> 00:35:01,401
Is it a boy or a girl?
912
00:35:01,401 --> 00:35:04,434
Um...
913
00:35:04,434 --> 00:35:06,833
I don't quite know
how to put this.
914
00:35:06,833 --> 00:35:08,701
There's no baby.
915
00:35:08,701 --> 00:35:10,334
Did it fall out?
916
00:35:10,334 --> 00:35:12,000
(laughs)
917
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,668
Uh, no. Um...
918
00:35:13,668 --> 00:35:14,867
You're not pregnant.
919
00:35:14,867 --> 00:35:16,301
But I've gained ten pounds.
920
00:35:16,301 --> 00:35:17,734
It's probably from
eating. I can see
921
00:35:17,734 --> 00:35:20,601
a chicken wing in there that
you must have swallowed whole.
922
00:35:20,601 --> 00:35:22,900
You're having what's called
a hysterical pregnancy.
923
00:35:22,900 --> 00:35:27,501
You want a baby so badly that
your body mimics the symptoms.
924
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:33,668
If you're meant to get
pregnant, it'll happen.
925
00:35:40,669 --> 00:35:43,669
I have to say, I'm a little surprised you guys
are trying in on it.
926
00:35:43,867 --> 00:35:46,301
I'm sure you've read about this
in the school paper.
927
00:35:46,301 --> 00:35:48,701
Finn and I have been
an item for a while now,
928
00:35:48,701 --> 00:35:51,933
so what kind of girlfriend would
I be if I didn't support him?
929
00:35:51,933 --> 00:35:54,367
Well, let's see what you've got.
930
00:35:54,367 --> 00:35:56,734
("Say a Little Prayer for You"
plays)
931
00:36:02,467 --> 00:36:06,134
♪ Say a little prayer for you ♪
932
00:36:06,134 --> 00:36:09,200
♪ The moment I wake up ♪
933
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,567
♪ Before I put on my makeup ♪
934
00:36:11,567 --> 00:36:13,301
* Makeup *
935
00:36:13,301 --> 00:36:16,334
* I say a little *
* Prayer for you *
936
00:36:16,334 --> 00:36:19,867
♪ While combing my hair now ♪
937
00:36:19,867 --> 00:36:22,833
♪ And wonderin' what dress
to wear now ♪
938
00:36:22,833 --> 00:36:24,967
* Wear now *
* I say a little *
939
00:36:24,967 --> 00:36:26,867
* Prayer for you *
940
00:36:26,867 --> 00:36:30,100
♪ Forever, forever
you'll stay in my heart ♪
941
00:36:30,100 --> 00:36:31,234
♪ And I will love you ♪
942
00:36:31,234 --> 00:36:33,200
♪ Forever and ever ♪
943
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:34,467
♪ We never will part ♪
944
00:36:34,467 --> 00:36:36,167
♪ Oh, how I love you ♪
945
00:36:36,167 --> 00:36:39,367
♪ Together, together,
that's how it must be ♪
946
00:36:39,367 --> 00:36:40,800
♪ To live without you ♪
947
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:45,267
♪ Would only mean
heartbreak for me ♪
948
00:36:45,267 --> 00:36:46,900
SUE:
Let me get this straight.
949
00:36:46,900 --> 00:36:48,933
You're joining Glee Club?
950
00:36:48,933 --> 00:36:50,867
I'm sorry, Coach Sylvester,
951
00:36:50,867 --> 00:36:54,067
but something is going on
between Finn and that thing.
952
00:36:54,067 --> 00:36:55,534
You saw how it was
953
00:36:55,534 --> 00:36:57,067
undressing him
with its eyes.
954
00:36:57,067 --> 00:36:59,334
Please don't kick us
off the Cheerios.
955
00:36:59,334 --> 00:37:01,200
Cease fire on the waterworks.
956
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,034
I don't want to hear it.
I don't want to see it.
957
00:37:03,034 --> 00:37:05,933
You know, Q, when I
first laid eyes on you,
958
00:37:05,933 --> 00:37:08,367
I was reminded of a
young Sue Sylvester,
959
00:37:08,367 --> 00:37:10,601
though you don't have
my bone structure.
960
00:37:10,601 --> 00:37:13,601
But it wasn't until
this very moment,
961
00:37:13,601 --> 00:37:16,734
I saw how alike we really are.
962
00:37:18,734 --> 00:37:21,167
You three are going
to be my spies.
963
00:37:21,167 --> 00:37:23,933
I need eyes on the inside.
964
00:37:23,933 --> 00:37:27,100
We're going to bring
this club down from within.
965
00:37:27,100 --> 00:37:28,567
(chuckles)
966
00:37:28,567 --> 00:37:31,768
And I'm going
to get my boyfriend back.
967
00:37:31,768 --> 00:37:34,867
I don't care so much about that.
968
00:37:34,867 --> 00:37:37,501
(school bell rings)
969
00:37:42,900 --> 00:37:44,833
Hey, Emma.
Guess what?
970
00:37:44,833 --> 00:37:46,867
I found these new
disinfecting bleach wipes.
971
00:37:46,867 --> 00:37:48,768
What do you say?
972
00:37:48,768 --> 00:37:51,167
Boys bathroom
in the science wing?
973
00:37:51,167 --> 00:37:52,900
9:00?
974
00:37:52,900 --> 00:37:55,200
Will, what are we doing?
975
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,034
I mean, you're
having a baby.
976
00:38:01,668 --> 00:38:04,933
Um, and anyway, uh...
977
00:38:04,933 --> 00:38:06,267
I have a date.
978
00:38:06,267 --> 00:38:08,467
Oh, that's great.
Yeah.
979
00:38:08,467 --> 00:38:10,301
Yeah, but, with who?
980
00:38:10,301 --> 00:38:13,067
I'm going to go
to Tulip-A-Looza.
981
00:38:13,067 --> 00:38:14,668
With Ken.
982
00:38:35,134 --> 00:38:37,768
There's my man.
983
00:38:37,768 --> 00:38:39,167
Bringing home the bacon.
984
00:38:39,167 --> 00:38:42,100
You... you made dinner.
985
00:38:42,100 --> 00:38:43,467
I thought you'd be asleep.
986
00:38:43,467 --> 00:38:46,000
Well, I wanted to talk
to you about something,
987
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,601
so I made you chicken pot pie.
988
00:38:48,601 --> 00:38:49,668
From scratch.
989
00:38:49,668 --> 00:38:51,134
(chuckles)
990
00:38:51,134 --> 00:38:53,467
Terri, that's so
thoughtful. I...
991
00:38:54,900 --> 00:38:56,800
(sighs) Yeah, you know,
992
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:58,334
I've been working so
hard lately, some --
993
00:38:58,334 --> 00:39:00,668
Sometimes I forget
what I'm doing it for.
994
00:39:00,668 --> 00:39:03,367
Family's
what's important to me.
995
00:39:03,367 --> 00:39:07,267
You and the little guy
or gal on the way.
996
00:39:07,267 --> 00:39:08,534
I hope you know that.
997
00:39:08,534 --> 00:39:10,167
Yeah.
998
00:39:10,167 --> 00:39:13,434
I'm sorry. What was it
you wanted to talk about?
999
00:39:13,434 --> 00:39:16,501
I went to the
baby doctor today.
1000
00:39:16,501 --> 00:39:18,167
And?
1001
00:39:18,167 --> 00:39:20,034
And...
1002
00:39:21,768 --> 00:39:24,100
It's a boy.
1003
00:39:25,933 --> 00:39:28,200
- Oh, my God.
Terri, that's amazing.
- Yeah.
1004
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:29,601
Oh, my God.
1005
00:39:29,601 --> 00:39:30,601
Oh!
1006
00:39:30,601 --> 00:39:31,867
(laughing)
1007
00:39:31,867 --> 00:39:33,601
I want you to give up
being a janitor.
1008
00:39:33,601 --> 00:39:34,800
What?
1009
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:36,668
Yeah. We don't
need a new house.
1010
00:39:36,668 --> 00:39:38,768
We'll turn my craft
room into a nursery.
1011
00:39:38,768 --> 00:39:40,401
It's a compromise
that I want to make.
1012
00:39:40,401 --> 00:39:41,567
Really?
1013
00:39:41,567 --> 00:39:43,668
Yeah.
1014
00:39:43,668 --> 00:39:46,401
You know the only project
that I want to work on now...
1015
00:39:46,401 --> 00:39:48,601
is us.
1016
00:39:50,534 --> 00:39:51,833
I love you so much.
1017
00:40:00,367 --> 00:40:03,768
You're giving Quinn Fabray
the solo?
1018
00:40:03,768 --> 00:40:05,134
That's my solo.
1019
00:40:05,134 --> 00:40:06,601
You made this happen, Rachel.
1020
00:40:06,601 --> 00:40:08,567
You were the one who wanted
to sell sex at the assembly.
1021
00:40:08,567 --> 00:40:11,200
Quinn's audition song was on
Figgins's approved list,
1022
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,167
and frankly, she did a heck
of a job singing it.
1023
00:40:13,167 --> 00:40:14,401
You're punishing me.
1024
00:40:14,401 --> 00:40:17,900
Contrary to your beliefs,
it's not all about you.
1025
00:40:17,900 --> 00:40:22,534
Or, I've realized, about me.
1026
00:40:22,534 --> 00:40:24,034
Look, I screwed up, too.
1027
00:40:24,034 --> 00:40:28,134
I'm as responsible for
what you did at that
assembly as you are.
1028
00:40:28,134 --> 00:40:30,234
I should never have
pushed disco so hard.
1029
00:40:30,234 --> 00:40:35,200
When we did it back in '93, the
disco revival was in its heyday.
1030
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,833
It was cool. We had fun.
1031
00:40:37,833 --> 00:40:41,833
And that... that is what Glee
is supposed to be about.
1032
00:40:41,833 --> 00:40:43,768
If we're going to succeed,
1033
00:40:43,768 --> 00:40:46,234
we both need
to change our mindsets.
1034
00:40:46,234 --> 00:40:48,100
You're not always going
to be the star.
1035
00:40:48,100 --> 00:40:50,567
But I promise to do my best
1036
00:40:50,567 --> 00:40:52,401
to make sure
you're always having fun.
1037
00:40:52,401 --> 00:40:54,668
This is a good
thing, Rachel.
1038
00:40:54,668 --> 00:40:57,900
We're on our way.
1039
00:40:57,900 --> 00:41:00,833
Can I use the auditorium
later to practice?
1040
00:41:00,833 --> 00:41:03,000
Our neighbors are
filing a lawsuit.
1041
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:04,900
Sure.
1042
00:41:05,900 --> 00:41:07,900
("Take a Bow" plays)
1043
00:41:17,668 --> 00:41:23,534
♪ You look so dumb right now ♪
1044
00:41:23,534 --> 00:41:27,833
♪ Standing outside my house ♪
1045
00:41:29,100 --> 00:41:32,234
♪ Trying to apologize ♪
1046
00:41:32,234 --> 00:41:35,134
♪ You're so ugly when you cry ♪
1047
00:41:35,134 --> 00:41:39,434
♪ Please just cut it out ♪
1048
00:41:39,434 --> 00:41:45,601
♪ And don't tell me you're sorry
'cause you're not ♪
1049
00:41:45,601 --> 00:41:52,301
♪ Baby, when I know you're only
sorry you got caught ♪
1050
00:41:52,301 --> 00:41:54,800
♪ But you put on quite a show ♪
1051
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:58,501
* Ooh *
* Really had me going *
1052
00:41:58,501 --> 00:41:00,567
♪ Now it's time to go ♪
1053
00:42:00,933 --> 00:42:04,267
* Oh *
* Curtain's finally closing *
1054
00:42:04,267 --> 00:42:06,434
♪ That was quite a show ♪
1055
00:42:06,434 --> 00:42:10,967
* Ooh, oh *
* Very entertaining *
1056
00:42:10,967 --> 00:42:14,234
♪ But it's over now ♪
1057
00:42:14,234 --> 00:42:16,200
* But it's over now *
1058
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:20,434
♪ Go on and take a bow ♪
1059
00:42:20,434 --> 00:42:21,701
♪ Oh ♪
1060
00:42:21,701 --> 00:42:26,100
♪ And the award ♪
1061
00:42:26,100 --> 00:42:29,833
♪ For the best liar ♪
1062
00:42:29,833 --> 00:42:31,867
* Goes to you *
* Goes to you *
1063
00:42:31,867 --> 00:42:35,467
♪ For making me believe ♪
1064
00:42:35,467 --> 00:42:38,701
♪ That you could be ♪
1065
00:42:38,701 --> 00:42:41,267
* Faithful to me *
* Faithful *
1066
00:42:41,267 --> 00:42:44,367
♪ Let's hear your speech ♪
1067
00:42:44,367 --> 00:42:48,367
* Oh! *
* Well, you put on
quite a show *
1068
00:42:48,367 --> 00:42:50,867
* Really had me going *
1069
00:42:50,867 --> 00:42:54,167
♪ Now it's time to go ♪
1070
00:42:54,167 --> 00:42:56,867
♪ Curtain's finally closing ♪
1071
00:42:56,867 --> 00:42:59,367
♪ That was quite a show ♪
1072
00:42:59,367 --> 00:43:02,900
♪ Very entertaining ♪
1073
00:43:02,900 --> 00:43:06,601
♪ But it's over now ♪
1074
00:43:06,601 --> 00:43:08,867
* But it's over now *
1075
00:43:08,867 --> 00:43:13,933
♪ Go on and take a bow ♪
1076
00:43:15,401 --> 00:43:19,634
♪ But it's over now. ♪
1077
00:43:22,434 --> 00:43:37,933
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com