1 00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:06,329 -[Beeps] -?All the single ladies? 2 00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:08,738 -?All the single ladies? -?All the single ladies? 3 00:00:08,808 --> 00:00:10,173 ♪All the single ladies♪ 4 00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:12,541 - ? All the single ladies? - ? All the single ladies ? 5 00:00:12,612 --> 00:00:15,604 - ? All the single ladies ? - ? Now put your hands up ? 6 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,741 ♪ Up in the club We just broke up ♪ 7 00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:20,479 ♪ I'm doing my own little thing♪ 8 00:00:20,553 --> 00:00:22,714 ♪ Actin'up Drink in my cup ♪ 9 00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:24,654 ♪ I can care less what you think ♪ 10 00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:27,716 ♪ I need no permission Did I mention ♪ 11 00:00:27,794 --> 00:00:29,762 ♪ Don't pay him any attention ♪ 12 00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:32,229 ♪ 'Cause you hadyour turn and now you gonna learn ♪ 13 00:00:32,298 --> 00:00:34,732 ♪ What it really feels like to miss me ♪ 14 00:00:34,801 --> 00:00:37,326 ♪ 'Cause ifyou liked it then you should have put a ring on it ♪ 15 00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:39,634 ♪ Ifyou liked it then you should have put a ring on it ♪ 16 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:42,266 ♪ Don 't be mad once you see that he want it ♪ 17 00:00:42,342 --> 00:00:44,572 ♪ If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it ♪ 18 00:00:44,644 --> 00:00:47,306 ♪ Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh ♪ 19 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,143 ♪ Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh ♪ 20 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:52,446 ♪ Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 21 00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,783 - ? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ?? - [ Beeps ] 22 00:00:54,854 --> 00:00:55,946 ?? [ Stops ] 23 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:01,694 Dad. You' re home early. 24 00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:04,355 Deadliest Catch is on. 25 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,964 - What are you wearing? - I t's a unitard. 26 00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:13,267 Guys wear them to, uh, work out nowadays. 27 00:01:13,339 --> 00:01:17,332 Do sports. They wick sweat from the body. 28 00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:21,474 F-F-Football. 29 00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:24,642 Yeah, all the guys in football wear 'em. They're jock-chic. 30 00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:28,515 Totally. Kurt's on the football team now. 31 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,954 He's the kicker. That's the smallest guy on the field, right? 32 00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:33,549 Yeah. Ye- 33 00:01:33,626 --> 00:01:36,823 Brit and Tina were just helping me with some conditioning work. 34 00:01:36,896 --> 00:01:39,296 Hmm. Really? 35 00:01:39,365 --> 00:01:43,267 You know, I played in J.C. before I busted up my knee... 36 00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:45,861 poppin' wheelies on my dirt bike. 37 00:01:47,207 --> 00:01:49,471 Cool. I guess we'll have something to talk about then. 38 00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:51,942 - [ Chuckling ] - [ Laughs ] 39 00:01:52,011 --> 00:01:54,536 So one of you two his girlfriend? 40 00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:59,176 But I'm not ready to be exclusive just yet. 41 00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:01,186 Hmm. 42 00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:04,223 All right,just keep the music down. 43 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:06,281 I can't hear myself think up there. 44 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,551 Hey, Kurt, 45 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:12,757 Be sure to get me a ticket to your first game. 46 00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:25,408 [Huffing, Puffing] 47 00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:30,610 You're doing great, baby. Just keep breathing. 48 00:02:30,683 --> 00:02:34,551 No, no, no, [Scoffs ] 49 00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:37,647 Giving birth is not like how it is in the movies. 50 00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,783 It is bloody and bestial... 51 00:02:39,859 --> 00:02:41,884 and you get poop all over your cowboy boots. 52 00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:44,725 - Well, I'm just trying to be supportive. - Well, this isn't about you. 53 00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:47,197 I'm sorry, Kendra. When was I making it about me? 54 00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:50,430 [ Groans ] You have to be liked, Will. 55 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:54,098 You're nice and supportive and you avoid conflict. 56 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:58,474 Your wife is going to be pushing a watermelon out of her boy-howdy... 57 00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:00,706 in five months, 58 00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:03,271 She doesn't need nice. She needs Dolomite. 59 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:07,149 - I can be tough. - Of course you can, sweetie. 60 00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:09,780 Okay, why don't you come on down here. 61 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:14,316 I'm gonna show you how to rub the gas bubbles out ofyourwife's stomach. 62 00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:18,262 - Oh, no, wait. - Oh, no, no. You'll like it. Phil still does it to me. 63 00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:20,799 - It feels great. - I don't want him touching my stomach. 64 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,301 - I mean, maybe he would bruise the baby. - Oh. 65 00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:28,306 Yeah, Honey, would you make me a B,L, T.? 66 00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:32,003 Sure. Uh- Um, it's gonna take a few minutes though. 67 00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:35,104 - That's okay. - Okay, be right back. 68 00:03:35,181 --> 00:03:38,173 Make me one too. But hold the tomato. 69 00:03:38,251 --> 00:03:40,412 - Okay, - And the lettuce. 70 00:03:40,486 --> 00:03:42,977 - Okay, - I can't do this. 71 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,990 Don't worry about it. You're gonna have an epidural. 72 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:48,186 I'm just making it sound worse than it is to make him feel guilty. 73 00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:51,753 And then you have him by the balls forthe rest of your life. 74 00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:55,494 Kendra, ifl told you something, would you promise not to tell anybody, not even Phil? 75 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:59,004 Oh, my God. Is the baby black? 76 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,040 No. 77 00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:08,346 - [ Gasps ] - The doctor said it's a hysterical pregnancy. 78 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:11,042 I can't tell Will. I can't. 79 00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:14,644 He already has one foot out the door. This baby's the only reason he's still here. 80 00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:17,451 What do you think he's gonna do when he finds out you lied? 81 00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:21,516 Oh, God, I don't know. [ Panting ] I gotta tell him the truth. 82 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:23,562 I've gotta tell him, and I've gotta deal with the consequences. 83 00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:25,495 - Areyou insane? - What? 84 00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:29,626 Dishonesty is food to a marriage. It will die without it. 85 00:04:29,702 --> 00:04:32,569 - Oh, Kendra. - Stop being so emotional. 86 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:35,403 - Okay. - The solution is clear. 87 00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:39,237 We're gonna have to get you a baby. 88 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,250 [Bell Ringing] 89 00:04:58,097 --> 00:05:00,497 Hey, guys. 90 00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:04,002 - I hope I'm not intruding. - No. Not at all. 91 00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:10,837 Oh, um, so get this. 92 00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:13,174 You know how I'm kind of like a local news junkie, right? 93 00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,214 - Isn't that kind of depressing? - Oh, no. 94 00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:17,545 It's kind oflike a horror film, you know. 95 00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:21,519 It's drug recalls and poison toys. Africanixed bees- that was terrible. 96 00:05:21,587 --> 00:05:25,648 That's because disasters freakyou out yet fascinateyou at the same time, sweetie. 97 00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:28,216 Soyou like the local news because this way you can experience them... 98 00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:30,455 from the safety of your condo. 99 00:05:32,765 --> 00:05:36,633 Anyway-Yeah, um, theyjust finished this story on this xoo mauling... 100 00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:40,139 and, um, you'll never guess who came on next. 101 00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:42,197 Well, let's see what's going on now... 102 00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,800 with the local champion cheerleading coach, Sue Sylvester... 103 00:05:44,877 --> 00:05:48,244 in a brand-new segment we call "Sue's Corner." 104 00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:50,248 - Take it away, Sue. - [Whistle Blows ] 105 00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:52,375 Thanks, Rod, Andrea. 106 00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:57,253 You know, caning has fallen out of fashion in the United States. 107 00:05:57,323 --> 00:06:01,953 But ask anyone who's safely walked the immaculate sidewalks of Singapore... 108 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:04,997 after winning an international cheerleading competition... 109 00:06:05,064 --> 00:06:07,396 and they'll tell you one thing: 110 00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:10,129 caning works. 111 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:13,639 And I think it's about time we did a little more of it right here. 112 00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:17,608 And to all those naysayers out there who say, "That's illegal. 113 00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:21,909 You can't strike children on their bare buttocks with razor-sharp bamboo sticks." 114 00:06:21,981 --> 00:06:27,180 Well, to them I say, yes, we cane. 115 00:06:27,253 --> 00:06:30,814 And that's how Sue sees it. 116 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,824 They gave her a segment on the local news? 117 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,291 - Mm-hmm. - Why? 118 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:37,852 Because being a local celebrity who's been written up twice,,, 119 00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:40,865 on the sports page of USA Today has its perks, William. 120 00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:43,629 Hey, pal, you wanna pull that chair out for me? 121 00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:47,730 My hand's still sore from signing autographs down at the Donut Hole... 122 00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:49,001 this morning. 123 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,600 Brought you some holes I couldn't finish. 124 00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:54,771 And, uh, F.Y.I.- the overnights were through the roof. 125 00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:57,975 [ Clicks Teeth ] You don't know what that means, doyou? 126 00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:00,245 Overnights. Well, that's lingo for overnight ratings... 127 00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:02,947 which shows us leading among 1 8 to 49-year-olds... 128 00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:06,514 making WOHN western Ohio's number one local newscast. 129 00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:09,026 - Wow. - "Wow" is the word, Alma. 130 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,962 [ Chuckles ] You know, I wasn't always in the spotlight, 131 00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:15,398 But I didn't wanna end up stuck at a lousy high school,,, 132 00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:17,902 wrestling with mental illness. 133 00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:19,995 Or 40 and single... 134 00:07:20,072 --> 00:07:24,532 coaching the worst football team in the history. ofourstate, 135 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,374 Or having to go to the salon everyweek to have my hair permed. 136 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,314 I didn't wanna have to do that to myself, 137 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:33,409 So I sent out my resume, and I am so happy to tellyou,,, 138 00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:36,512 that I am busting out of my box. 139 00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:40,150 I'd love to stay and chat, but I got a satellite interview. 140 00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:43,354 That's lingo, again, for an interview,,, 141 00:07:43,429 --> 00:07:45,920 via satellite. 142 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,607 [Bell Ringing] 143 00:07:57,510 --> 00:08:01,105 - E-Excuse me. This-This isn't the right key. - It's actually the right key. 144 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:05,048 - This is the alto part. - Yep. Tina's doing the solo. 145 00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:09,076 I'm-I'm sorry., There must be some sort ofmix-up, 146 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,680 I thought I made it very clear that anything from West Side Story. goes to me. 147 00:08:11,757 --> 00:08:13,725 Maria is my part. 148 00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:16,421 Natalie Wood was a Jew, you know. 149 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,624 I've had a very deep, personal connection to this role since the age of one. 150 00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:22,190 Well, I'm trying to shake things up a bit, get us out of our boxes. 151 00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:24,930 - You're trying to punish me. - I thinkyou're being irrational. 152 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:27,199 I thinkyou're being unfair. 153 00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:29,503 I thinkyou're being unfairtoTina... 154 00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,566 who might have been happy about getting herfirst solo. 155 00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:34,272 Tina knows how much I respect her, and I think shewould agreewith me... 156 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,645 thatshe's not ready forsuch an iconic role as Maria, 157 00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:39,480 Wait, I'm aJet? 158 00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:42,920 - [ Exhales ] - [Music Hits Floor] 159 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,826 [Door Opens, Slams ] 160 00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:51,261 The more times she storms out of rehearsal, the less impact it has. 161 00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:53,059 Congratulations, Tina. 162 00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:57,568 This is going well. 163 00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:02,103 Finn? I needed to askyousomething, 164 00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:05,166 Thanks, but I already have a date to the prom. But I'm flattered. 165 00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:07,508 I know how important dances are to teen gays. 166 00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:10,174 - I'm not gay. - Oh. 167 00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:12,444 I just- I needed a favor. 168 00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:14,986 [Whistle Blows ] 169 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:17,454 [Boys Shouting] 170 00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:21,923 This is not that difficult, gentlemen. Let's go. 171 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,889 Come on! Let's go! 172 00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:33,667 Just relax, okay? 173 00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:37,004 Rememberwhat I told you. Keep your eye on the ball. Don't try to aim it. 174 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,442 - Okay, put your helmet on. - It'll mess up my hair. 175 00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:41,537 Putyour- Putyour helmet on, okay? 176 00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:44,515 - Oh! God, it's- - Good. Red's your color. 177 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,678 Thankyou for helping me with this, Finn. You're really cool. 178 00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:51,018 [ Sighs ] Well, I figure the more crossover between Glee and football... 179 00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:53,388 the easier my life's gonna be. 180 00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:55,620 Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whereyou going? 181 00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:57,993 - To get my music ready. - What, areyou nuts? You can't use that. 182 00:09:58,064 --> 00:10:01,830 - But we did when we were rehearsing. - Practicing. No one was around. 183 00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:04,961 You know how much interference I had to run with these guys just to getyou this tryout? 184 00:10:05,037 --> 00:10:07,631 Ifyou do ityourway, they're gonna kill you. 185 00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:11,302 My body is like a rum chocolate souffle. 186 00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:13,504 Ifl don't warm it up right, it doesn't rise. 187 00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:16,548 I'm doing this. I'm doing it myway. 188 00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:21,479 So areyou two an item now, or- 189 00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:25,012 - He doesn't belong here. - You joined Acafellas. What's the difference? 190 00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:28,993 I'm a stud, dude. I can wear a dress to school, and people think it's cool. 191 00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:31,689 - [ Whistle Blows ] - Every.bodytake a knee, 192 00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:34,062 Six games. 193 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,693 Our kicker, Mr. Langanthal... 194 00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:39,567 is xero for 1 2 in field goal attempts. 195 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,164 As most ofyou statistically-mindedpeople know,,, 196 00:10:42,241 --> 00:10:44,334 that sucks! 197 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:47,910 So Mr. Langanthal... 198 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:51,507 will thusly now be in charge of hydration services. 199 00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:57,113 The next player that can get a football between those uprights will get his job. 200 00:10:57,189 --> 00:11:00,750 Hi. I'm Kurt Hummel, and I'll be auditioning for the role ofkicker. 201 00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:02,885 [ Scattered Laughter] 202 00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:24,108 ♪ I'm up on him He up on me ♪ 203 00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:25,878 ♪ Don't pay him any attention ♪ 204 00:11:25,951 --> 00:11:30,888 ♪Just cried mytears forthree good years You can't be mad at me ♪ 205 00:11:30,956 --> 00:11:33,083 ♪ 'Cause ifyou liked it then you should have put a ring on it ♪ 206 00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,650 ♪ Ifyou liked it then you should have put a ring on it ♪ 207 00:11:35,728 --> 00:11:38,356 ♪ Don't be madonceyousee that he want it♪ 208 00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,763 ♪ 'Cause ifyou liked it then you should have put a ring on it ♪ 209 00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:43,233 ♪ Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh♪ 210 00:11:43,302 --> 00:11:45,236 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh♪ 211 00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:46,965 ♪ Oh, oh, oh♪ 212 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,477 - That was good, right? - Yeah. 213 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,812 - It's good. - Yeah. 214 00:11:57,883 --> 00:12:01,046 Can you do that with the game on the line... 215 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,111 and 1 0 gorillas bearing down on you... 216 00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:05,749 - who want nothing more than to tasteyour sweet virgin blood? - Sounds like fun. 217 00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:08,123 - Can I have my music? - [ Chuckles ] 218 00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:10,321 Ifyou kick like that, you can wear a tutu for all I care. 219 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:14,492 Gentlemen, we have found ourselves a kicker! 220 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,195 ♪ What it reallyfeels like to miss me ♪ 221 00:12:17,269 --> 00:12:19,669 ♪ 'Cause ifyou liked it thenyou should have put a ring on it♪ 222 00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:21,772 - ? Oh, oh, oh ?? - [ Bell Ringing] 223 00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:27,279 More mail for you, Sue. But I think there might be some hate mail mixed in... 224 00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:29,371 from your editorial on littering. 225 00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:32,679 Well, Mr. McClung, your station didn't hire me because I was yella. 226 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:37,189 And not everyone's gonna have the walnuts to take a pro-littering stance... 227 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:41,659 but I will not rest until every inch of our fair state is covered in garbage. 228 00:12:41,727 --> 00:12:44,025 That's why I pay taxes. 229 00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:46,496 It keeps garbage men earning a living... 230 00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:49,830 so they can afford tacos for their family. 231 00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:52,598 Fantastic. 232 00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:54,639 But I'm... 233 00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:57,301 concerned... 234 00:12:57,376 --> 00:13:00,368 aboutyourfuture at WOHN, 235 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,471 You see, my daughter goes to your school... 236 00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:07,986 and she says that a lot ofthe top cheerleaders are defecting to the show choir. 237 00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:10,317 [ Laughs ] You know, it makes me wonder ifyou're- 238 00:13:10,389 --> 00:13:13,085 ifyou're losing all that talent howyou can expect to win nationals. 239 00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:17,255 See, your segment's all about being a champion, Sue, a winner. 240 00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:20,423 So... we need you to win nationals. 241 00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:25,297 Okay. Uh, thanks a bunch. 242 00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:27,498 Great work. 243 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,302 [Bell Ringing] 244 00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,746 Quinn. 245 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,750 Quinn. 246 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,116 Hey, what's with the silent treatment? 247 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,882 Whatever I did, I'm sorry. 248 00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:49,689 - I'm pregnant. - [Heart Beating] 249 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:54,461 [ Fading Out ] I wasn't sure, and I really didn't wanna go by myself. 250 00:13:54,533 --> 00:13:58,469 - I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. - Mine? 251 00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:02,564 Yes, you. Who else's would it be? 252 00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:07,241 - But we-we never- - Last month. Hot tub? 253 00:14:15,921 --> 00:14:17,889 Oh, no. 254 00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:20,357 Oh, no. Oh. 255 00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:23,418 Think ofthe mail. Think ofthe mail. Think ofthe- 256 00:14:23,495 --> 00:14:26,987 - Oh, you killed him! What areyou gonna do? - Oh. 257 00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:29,796 - Butwewerewearing our swimsuits. - AskJeeves said a hot tub... 258 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,928 is the perfect temperature for sperm. 259 00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:33,995 It helps it swim faster. 260 00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:37,474 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 261 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:41,502 - Are- Areyou gonna get a- - No. 262 00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:45,311 [ Sniffles ] I really thought I had a shot of getting out ofhere. 263 00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:47,909 [ Crying ] 264 00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:53,090 [ Sniffles ] 265 00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:04,562 I've been collectingsince 1961, 266 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:07,970 Now, isn't this just lovely and normal? 267 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:09,530 They're my everything. 268 00:15:09,608 --> 00:15:12,975 - [Teakettle Whistling] - Teatime! [ Chuckles ] 269 00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:14,979 [ Whistling ] 270 00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:17,948 - [ Whistling Continues ] - Right. 271 00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:20,781 So, to what do I owe the honor ofyour presence? 272 00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:24,220 Oh, I just thought I'd stop by and say hello, buddy. 273 00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:27,384 Boy, the only thing missing from this place is a couple doxen bodies... 274 00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:30,257 Iimed and rotting in shallow graves under the floorboards. 275 00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:33,355 [ Chuckles ] Please, have a seat on the casting couch. 276 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,366 [ Chuckles ] 277 00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:37,402 [ Sighs ] 278 00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:41,838 It is so wonderful to finally have some Sandy time. 279 00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:44,808 I have my bridge game on Fridays. 280 00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:48,244 Saturdays, I am fully committed at the local cat rescue. 281 00:15:48,314 --> 00:15:51,078 - [ Cat Meows ] - Sandy. Let's cut the crap. 282 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:53,948 [ Sobbing ] 283 00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:57,819 I'm living in a cocoon ofhorror. [ Sobbing Continues ] 284 00:15:57,890 --> 00:16:02,156 Yesterday I ate nine cans of aerosol whipped cream. 285 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,158 - No- - You- 286 00:16:06,231 --> 00:16:10,065 Sandy, Sandy. We have similar problems. 287 00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:13,662 You need to be back in the spotlight. 288 00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:17,573 I wanna offeryou the school's arts administrator position. 289 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:21,909 You will have control ofall the arts programs- 290 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,541 music, art, drama. 291 00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:29,019 Wait for it. Glee Club. 292 00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:31,682 That's impossible. Figgins will never allow it. 293 00:16:31,757 --> 00:16:34,021 Oh, don'tyou worry about Figgins. 294 00:16:34,093 --> 00:16:37,028 I'm never letting Sandy Ryerson back in this school. 295 00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:41,965 - Take a look at this, - ?? [ Indian ] 296 00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:47,767 [ Figgins Speaking English ] 297 00:16:57,349 --> 00:17:01,718 [ Figgins Speaking Foreign Language ] 298 00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:05,245 Well, I would hate to think ofthis video circulating around the school. 299 00:17:05,324 --> 00:17:07,315 Betteryet, YouTube. 300 00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:12,953 - Ourfirst order ofbusiness is Glee Club. - Oh! 301 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,091 I couldn't agree with you more. 302 00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:17,101 William is running it into the ground. 303 00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:19,160 And there's one linchpin holding that group together. 304 00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:21,229 Rachel Berry. How dowe steal her away? 305 00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:25,106 Hold on toyour Easter bonnet, Sandy. I'm gonna fire fourwords atyou. 306 00:17:25,177 --> 00:17:29,580 Liza Minnelli, Celine Dion, 307 00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:32,082 [Sandy] Oh,yeah, 308 00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,312 I amyours, 309 00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:39,722 ♪ What do you say to taking chances ♪ 310 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,817 ♪ What do you say ♪ 311 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:46,991 ♪ To jumping off the edge ♪ 312 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,931 ♪ Never knowing ♪ 313 00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:53,870 ♪ If there's solid ground below ♪ 314 00:17:53,939 --> 00:17:56,999 ♪ Ora hand to hold♪ 315 00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:01,206 ♪ Or hell to pay ♪ 316 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:06,877 ♪What doyou say ♪ 317 00:18:06,952 --> 00:18:13,221 ♪What doyou say ♪♪ 318 00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:18,657 - Wow. - What's next? 319 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:23,224 Congratulations, Miss SallyBowles, You havejust landed the lead, 320 00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:27,170 [ Gasps, Laughing ] 321 00:18:27,239 --> 00:18:30,231 - This is a joke. - William. 322 00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:33,210 Sandyhas neverbeen formally charged with anyhing, 323 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:37,510 And the fact is, upon further reflection, my firing of him was rash. 324 00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:39,574 This is a wonderful thing, Will, 325 00:18:39,651 --> 00:18:41,414 How many times have you sat in the chair... 326 00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:44,422 complaining how I don't care about the arts program? 327 00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:47,516 This was you. You have always been out to get me. 328 00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:51,552 Well, if I was out to get you, I'd have you pickling in a mason jar on my shelfby now. 329 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,860 William, take a chill pill. I'm here to helpyou. 330 00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:57,368 Oh, really? Is thatwhyyou stole my best singer? 331 00:18:57,436 --> 00:18:59,495 ??[Harp] 332 00:18:59,571 --> 00:19:02,665 An opportunity arose for me to showcase mytalents, and I took it. 333 00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:06,507 How is that any different from when you quit Glee to form your boy band? 334 00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:08,512 Because I didn't do it out of spite. 335 00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:12,346 I'm offended by that accusation. I've always been a team player. 336 00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:16,217 -Just admit it, Mr. Schue. You don't like me very much. - That's not true. 337 00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:21,851 I am your biggest, and sometimes your only fan. 338 00:19:23,562 --> 00:19:25,553 Look, I know who I am, okay? 339 00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:28,862 I know I can be a little abrasive, bossy and conceited. 340 00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:32,893 I'm just hurt thatyou chose to judge me on that rather than on my talent. 341 00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:36,270 I know it sounds awful, but I'm the best one in there. 342 00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:38,809 I try the hardest, and I want it the most. 343 00:19:38,877 --> 00:19:41,937 Everyone knows that, and they're scared of it. 344 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,778 They all think that they can slack off becauseyou'll pick up theirweight. 345 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,943 We can't win regionals like that. 346 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,579 We need everyone to think that they're a star. 347 00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:52,249 We're giving everyone a chance to think they're a star. 348 00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:55,816 We're providing opportunities, We're opening doors, 349 00:19:55,894 --> 00:19:59,352 Find your voice. Stomp that yard. All that crap. 350 00:19:59,431 --> 00:20:01,922 - What does she have on you? - [Sandy] Enough, 351 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:06,937 [ Sighs ] I tried to play nice with you, William. 352 00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:11,942 But clearly, you prefer to be adversaries. So be it. 353 00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:15,238 I'm not quitting Glee, 354 00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:17,475 I'm just looking for a reason to stay. 355 00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:19,449 Oh, like me taking the solo away from Tina? 356 00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:22,851 Everyone on the team is getting something out ofbeing there. 357 00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:26,015 You're doing a great job of getting them out oftheir shells. 358 00:20:26,091 --> 00:20:29,993 Except for me. I'm still getting my lipstick flushed in the toilet. 359 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:32,428 I still don't have a boyfriend. 360 00:20:32,497 --> 00:20:34,863 Tina's great, but... 361 00:20:34,933 --> 00:20:37,527 why doyou have to hurt me to make her feel good? 362 00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:39,503 Just come to rehearsal. 363 00:20:49,381 --> 00:20:50,871 [DoorCloses ] 364 00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:04,922 ♪Tonight, tonight ♪ 365 00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:07,795 ♪ It all began tonight ♪ 366 00:21:07,866 --> 00:21:15,136 ♪ Isawyouandthe world went away♪ 367 00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:18,643 ♪Tonight, tonight ♪ 368 00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:22,077 ♪There's onlyyou tonight ♪ 369 00:21:22,147 --> 00:21:28,575 ♪ Whatyouare, whatyou do Whatyousay♪ 370 00:21:28,654 --> 00:21:34,149 ♪Today, all day I had the feeling ♪ 371 00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:37,525 ♪ A miracle would happen ♪ 372 00:21:37,596 --> 00:21:42,624 ♪ I know now I was right ♪ 373 00:21:42,701 --> 00:21:45,363 ♪ For hereyou are ♪ 374 00:21:45,437 --> 00:21:52,240 ♪ And what was just a world is a star ♪ 375 00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:56,304 ♪Tonight ♪♪ 376 00:21:57,582 --> 00:21:59,573 That was great, Tina. Good job. 377 00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:02,017 You don't have to say that. I was sh-sharp. 378 00:22:03,255 --> 00:22:06,554 - I c-can't do this. - Hey, look at me. 379 00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:09,093 Haveyou noticed the more confidentyou are, the less you stutter? 380 00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:11,254 - [ Laughs ] - [ Chuckles ] 381 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:14,629 Hey. I need you to be great at regionals. 382 00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:17,134 To do that, you've got to know that you can do this. 383 00:22:20,405 --> 00:22:22,430 You have to give this song to Rachel. 384 00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:24,600 She's better than me. 385 00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:27,770 And you know she'll quit ifyou don't. 386 00:22:27,846 --> 00:22:29,837 I'll just take one for the team. 387 00:22:31,049 --> 00:22:33,279 [ Sighs ] 388 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:36,219 Hey, Finn, what's up? 389 00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:37,721 [ Exhales ] 390 00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:41,383 Hey, 391 00:22:41,460 --> 00:22:44,122 - It's okay. - [ Crying ] 392 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,823 - [ Crying Continues ] - It's okay. 393 00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:54,065 Thanks a lot for this, Mr. Schue. 394 00:22:54,139 --> 00:22:56,607 - I couldn't talk to my mom, you know. - Yeah. 395 00:22:56,675 --> 00:22:59,303 So how far along is she? 396 00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:02,677 I don't know. A couple ofweeks maybe. 397 00:23:02,748 --> 00:23:05,478 It's pretty recent, I guess. 398 00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:08,644 Well, what doyou- what doyou need me to do? You want me to- 399 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,881 You want me to setyou up with Planned Parenthood? 400 00:23:10,956 --> 00:23:14,653 No. No. It's not even a conversation. She's keeping it. 401 00:23:16,361 --> 00:23:20,263 I've seen the guys around town who had kids in high school. 402 00:23:20,332 --> 00:23:25,827 Theywork here or at the supermarket or pumping gas orworse. 403 00:23:25,904 --> 00:23:29,840 They're caged. Got no future. 404 00:23:29,908 --> 00:23:31,808 I can't become one ofthose dudes. 405 00:23:31,877 --> 00:23:34,471 Mr. Schue, I got to go to college. 406 00:23:34,546 --> 00:23:37,743 But we don't have any money, and- 407 00:23:37,816 --> 00:23:40,478 I need a football scholarship. 408 00:23:40,552 --> 00:23:43,020 But the onlyway I'm gonna get one is ifwe start winning. 409 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,682 I'm not a football coach. 410 00:23:47,159 --> 00:23:49,787 Rememberwhen we were working on that Acafella stuff... 411 00:23:49,861 --> 00:23:51,852 and you helped me and Puckwith the dancing? 412 00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:54,592 - Yeah. - You loosened us up. 413 00:23:54,666 --> 00:23:56,725 That's the football team's problem. 414 00:23:56,802 --> 00:23:58,963 I figured it out watching Kurt kick those field goals. 415 00:23:59,037 --> 00:24:01,471 Here. Check this out. 416 00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:04,202 I got this at the school library. 417 00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:07,370 Did you knowyou can just borrow books from there? 418 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:10,574 All of'em. Except for the encyclopedias, but- 419 00:24:10,649 --> 00:24:14,949 It says in here that Walter Payton was a great dancer. 420 00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:18,854 In college, he won dance competitions on Soul Train, 421 00:24:18,924 --> 00:24:20,949 And he took ballet lessons. 422 00:24:21,026 --> 00:24:23,256 And he even got the whole Bears team to take them... 423 00:24:23,328 --> 00:24:25,421 the year theywon the Super Bowl. 424 00:24:25,497 --> 00:24:28,330 - That's how they came up with the Super Bowl Shuffle. - Let me just get this straight. 425 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,665 You want me to teach the football team how to dance? 426 00:24:32,704 --> 00:24:35,537 Uh, I don't think Ken will go for that. 427 00:24:35,607 --> 00:24:38,167 We'll talk him into it. 428 00:24:38,243 --> 00:24:40,939 Look, you said you needed guys for Glee Club, right? 429 00:24:41,012 --> 00:24:45,506 Ifyou can help us win one game, they'll start to trustyou. 430 00:24:45,584 --> 00:24:48,678 Then I'm sure some ofthem will wanna join. 431 00:24:50,722 --> 00:24:52,849 It's a win-win for both of us. 432 00:25:00,966 --> 00:25:02,627 Eat up. 433 00:25:02,701 --> 00:25:06,467 - How far along is she? - A few weeks. 434 00:25:06,538 --> 00:25:08,699 It breaks my heart. 435 00:25:08,773 --> 00:25:10,764 They're both so scared to death, Ter. 436 00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:13,402 They're just kids. They can't raise a baby. 437 00:25:13,478 --> 00:25:15,537 Here this poor girl is so ashamed... 438 00:25:15,614 --> 00:25:18,674 she feels like she can't tell anybody. 439 00:25:18,750 --> 00:25:20,980 I mean, can you imagine? 440 00:25:23,054 --> 00:25:25,215 Having to hide something like that. 441 00:25:26,224 --> 00:25:29,591 All that effort covering that up. 442 00:25:30,729 --> 00:25:32,720 What did you say her name was? Quinn? 443 00:25:32,797 --> 00:25:34,264 - Quinn Fabray. - Oh. 444 00:25:34,332 --> 00:25:37,824 Oh, and here's the kicker. She's president ofthe Celibacy Club. 445 00:25:49,214 --> 00:25:51,808 This is garbage. What the hell does Beyonce have to do with football? 446 00:25:51,883 --> 00:25:55,341 Why don'tyou ask Kurt? He seems to be the only one who can score on this team. 447 00:25:55,420 --> 00:25:58,150 - Even in practice, - So we're taking coaching advice from Lance Bass now? 448 00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:00,817 - [Laughter] - Guys. Guys. 449 00:26:00,892 --> 00:26:03,292 Athletes are performers just like singers and dancers. 450 00:26:03,361 --> 00:26:07,161 And think about it,Jim Brown, Dick Butkus, 451 00:26:07,232 --> 00:26:10,167 - O.J. - O.J. Right. 452 00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:15,036 All pretty tough guys. All of them had big careers as performers. 453 00:26:15,106 --> 00:26:18,075 Now, I don't thinkyou guys are losing because you don't have the talent. 454 00:26:18,143 --> 00:26:20,134 You're losing becauseyou don't have the right attitude. 455 00:26:20,211 --> 00:26:23,510 Oh, I get it. We have to think more like Amaxonian blackwomen. 456 00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:28,349 Think about it. Ifyou can sing and dance in front ofpeople, everything else is easy. 457 00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:30,650 Coach. Please. Step in here. 458 00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:33,919 I'm down with it. I mean, heck, what do we got to lose? 459 00:26:33,992 --> 00:26:37,393 We gave up our pride when we lost to that school for the deaf. 460 00:26:37,462 --> 00:26:39,396 - [ Clears Throat] - [Boy] That's true, 461 00:26:39,464 --> 00:26:42,865 Sun Txu says in his Art ofWar to never let the enemy know you. 462 00:26:42,934 --> 00:26:45,835 Our greatest weapon could be the element of surprise. 463 00:26:45,904 --> 00:26:48,395 Don't tell me that you wouldn't be on your heels... 464 00:26:48,473 --> 00:26:51,237 ifthe other team started busting a move on the field. 465 00:26:51,309 --> 00:26:54,745 - [Whistle Blows ] - Okay, too much talking, not enough stretching. 466 00:26:54,813 --> 00:26:59,375 In the choirroom in fullpads in five, That's five minutes, Let's go, 467 00:26:59,451 --> 00:27:01,385 - ?? [Piano ] - A-five, six, seven, eight. 468 00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:05,048 Step, ball change, up. ? Da, da, da, da ? 469 00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:07,751 ♪ Ba, ba, ba A-ba, ba, bam ♪♪ 470 00:27:07,826 --> 00:27:12,320 - [ Whistle Blows ] - That's good, guys. Your hips are still a little tight, okay? 471 00:27:12,397 --> 00:27:14,388 It's just likeyou're playing football. 472 00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:16,957 It's all about the lateral movement. Just stay low and- 473 00:27:17,035 --> 00:27:19,503 - May I? - Watch Kurt. 474 00:27:22,173 --> 00:27:25,404 All right, boys. Five, six, seven. 475 00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:27,536 - ?? [Piano ] - Hand, hand. 476 00:27:27,612 --> 00:27:30,274 Point to the finger. Hip, head. 477 00:27:30,348 --> 00:27:32,612 Oh! Sneak attack. Back to the ring. 478 00:27:32,684 --> 00:27:35,209 Comb through the hair. Slap the butt. 479 00:27:35,286 --> 00:27:37,914 - [ Whistle Blows ] - Okay, that's enough fortoday, gentlemen, 480 00:27:37,989 --> 00:27:41,789 We'll... work on it.Just hit the showers. 481 00:27:41,860 --> 00:27:44,488 Bye, Coach. 482 00:27:44,562 --> 00:27:47,793 Um, Coach, I don't mean to interject... 483 00:27:47,866 --> 00:27:50,391 but I thinkwe should end with a show circle. 484 00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:54,468 What's your problem? 485 00:27:54,539 --> 00:27:57,440 Nothing. I just got a lot on my mind. 486 00:27:57,509 --> 00:28:00,171 Seriously, dude, what's going on? 487 00:28:00,245 --> 00:28:02,941 I'm your best friend. Talk. 488 00:28:03,014 --> 00:28:05,209 It's personal. 489 00:28:05,283 --> 00:28:07,808 I knew it. You're in love with Kurt. 490 00:28:07,886 --> 00:28:10,684 Quinn's pregnant. She's keeping the baby. 491 00:28:21,332 --> 00:28:24,699 - What's up, MI LF? - Leave me alone. 492 00:28:27,105 --> 00:28:29,232 Who's the daddy? 493 00:28:29,307 --> 00:28:31,935 I just think it's kind ofweird ifit's Finn... 494 00:28:32,010 --> 00:28:34,376 sinceyou told me you were a virgin when we did it. 495 00:28:34,446 --> 00:28:36,573 And I know for a fact thatyou didn't do itwith him. 496 00:28:36,648 --> 00:28:38,673 How can you be so sure? 497 00:28:38,750 --> 00:28:40,843 Finn's my boy. Hewould've told me. 498 00:28:40,919 --> 00:28:44,082 You make a habit ofsleeping with your boy's girlfriends? 499 00:28:45,790 --> 00:28:49,692 Well, call theVatican. We got ourselves another Immaculate Conception. 500 00:28:49,761 --> 00:28:53,390 I'd take care ofit, you know. You too. 501 00:28:53,465 --> 00:28:56,025 My dad's a deadbeat, but I don't roll that way. 502 00:28:56,101 --> 00:28:59,468 Weren'tyou fired for peeing in the fast-food fryolator? 503 00:28:59,537 --> 00:29:02,973 - I've got my pool-cleaning business. - We live in Ohio. 504 00:29:04,976 --> 00:29:08,810 I had sex with you becauseyou got me drunk on wine coolers... 505 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,542 and I felt fat that day. 506 00:29:11,616 --> 00:29:14,380 But it was a mistake. 507 00:29:14,452 --> 00:29:17,512 You're a Lima loser, and you're always gonna be a Lima loser. 508 00:29:22,627 --> 00:29:25,494 [ThunderRumbles ] 509 00:29:25,563 --> 00:29:27,554 [ Crying ] 510 00:29:33,838 --> 00:29:35,965 Howmanyweeks areyou? 511 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:38,907 From the looks ofyou, I'd say no more than five or six. 512 00:29:38,977 --> 00:29:42,208 I assumeyou haven't toldyourparentsyet, I mean, how couldyou? 513 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:46,478 After Daddy bought you this car so you could drive him to the Chastity Ball. 514 00:29:46,551 --> 00:29:50,544 - You can't raise this baby, Quinn. - I'm sorry, but who are you? 515 00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:53,147 I'm just somebodywho wants to help. 516 00:29:53,224 --> 00:29:55,385 I don't need your help. Get the hell out of my car! 517 00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:59,055 Really? What kind of prenatal vitamins areyou taking? 518 00:30:02,167 --> 00:30:04,101 Yeah. 519 00:30:05,303 --> 00:30:08,864 Here. Three times a day, oryour babywill be ugly. 520 00:30:10,475 --> 00:30:12,500 I don't understand. 521 00:30:12,577 --> 00:30:14,704 What doyou want from me? 522 00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:32,460 [ Cheering ] 523 00:30:33,464 --> 00:30:35,056 [ Chanting ] W-M-H-S! 524 00:30:35,133 --> 00:30:37,431 - ??[Drumbeat] - [Will]Anyonesittinghere? 525 00:30:37,502 --> 00:30:40,403 - Um, no. No, here. - [ Cheerleaders ] W-M-H-S! 526 00:30:43,141 --> 00:30:45,473 - Well, at least I know it's clean. - Yeah. 527 00:30:45,543 --> 00:30:49,479 ?? ["Star-Spangled Banner"] 528 00:30:49,547 --> 00:30:53,005 ?? [ Continues ] 529 00:30:57,422 --> 00:30:59,754 [ Blowing ] 530 00:31:01,226 --> 00:31:04,787 - ?? [Ends ] - [ Cheering ] 531 00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:07,661 Well, I think we, uh, really came together this week as a team. 532 00:31:07,732 --> 00:31:10,223 [Puck] Yeah, a gayteam, 533 00:31:10,301 --> 00:31:12,462 A big gay team of dancing gays. 534 00:31:12,537 --> 00:31:15,597 Seriously, Finn, it was fun in practice andall,,, 535 00:31:15,673 --> 00:31:17,971 but we can't do that out here in front of everybody. 536 00:31:18,042 --> 00:31:20,840 It'll make us even more ofajoke, 537 00:31:25,617 --> 00:31:28,950 [ Cheering] 538 00:31:34,592 --> 00:31:38,790 - Divert right, 87 on one. Break! - [ Players ] Break! 539 00:31:38,863 --> 00:31:41,832 - [ Blows Whistle ] - [Boy] Yo, Q,B,! 540 00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:44,960 Your mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack ofhot dogs! 541 00:31:45,036 --> 00:31:47,903 - Give me some ketchup! - Down, set, hike! 542 00:31:50,408 --> 00:31:52,638 - [ Shouts ] - [ Whistle Blows ] 543 00:31:52,710 --> 00:31:55,144 - [ Crowd Jeering ] - [ Whistle Blows ] 544 00:31:55,213 --> 00:31:58,444 - [Boy] Whoo! - Punch and Judy on one. Break! 545 00:31:58,516 --> 00:32:01,314 - [Whistle Blows ] - [ Shouting ] 546 00:32:01,386 --> 00:32:03,513 - Come on! - [ Whistle Blows ] 547 00:32:03,588 --> 00:32:06,989 - [Man ] Come on! - [ Crowd Murmuring] 548 00:32:09,961 --> 00:32:13,897 Dad! Dad! 549 00:32:13,965 --> 00:32:17,128 I told you! I told you! 550 00:32:18,970 --> 00:32:21,700 Jordan versus Bird on one! Hut! 551 00:32:22,974 --> 00:32:26,535 - Run! - [ Crowd Groans ] 552 00:32:30,248 --> 00:32:34,082 - Aw! - Cupid tips on one. Break! 553 00:32:56,007 --> 00:32:58,874 - Time-out! - [ Whistle Blows ] 554 00:32:58,943 --> 00:33:00,706 [ CrowdJeering] 555 00:33:03,748 --> 00:33:08,048 - Dude, we got to do it. - We will be jokes for the rest of our high school lives. 556 00:33:08,119 --> 00:33:10,053 We're alreadyjokes. 557 00:33:10,121 --> 00:33:13,181 I don't wanna be a Lima loser for the rest of my life. 558 00:33:17,195 --> 00:33:19,925 Yo, left tackle,yourmama's so fat,,, 559 00:33:19,998 --> 00:33:22,193 her cereal bowl comes with its own lifeguard, like Baywatch! 560 00:33:22,266 --> 00:33:26,259 Hey, ankle grabber, I had sex with your mother. 561 00:33:26,337 --> 00:33:28,771 No, seriously. I cleaned your pool. 562 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:32,241 And then I had sex with her in your bed. Nice Star Wars sheets. 563 00:33:36,481 --> 00:33:38,540 Let's do it, captain. 564 00:33:38,616 --> 00:33:41,642 Come on, Huddle up, Huddle up, 565 00:33:41,719 --> 00:33:44,552 Okay, "Ring On It" on three. 566 00:33:46,324 --> 00:33:48,622 Yeah, All right? 567 00:33:48,693 --> 00:33:53,096 - Come on. On three. One, two, three, break! - [ Players ] Break! 568 00:34:01,139 --> 00:34:04,074 Hut one, two! 569 00:34:04,142 --> 00:34:06,975 Three! Let's hit it! 570 00:34:12,250 --> 00:34:15,447 [Microphone Feedback ] 571 00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,683 - ? All the single ladies ? - ? All the single ladies ? 572 00:34:18,756 --> 00:34:21,020 - ? All the single ladies ? - ? All the single ladies ? 573 00:34:21,092 --> 00:34:23,754 - ? All the single ladies ? - ? Now putyour hands up ? 574 00:34:23,828 --> 00:34:26,422 ♪ Up in the club We just broke up ♪ 575 00:34:26,497 --> 00:34:28,522 ♪ I'm doing my own little thing ♪ 576 00:34:28,599 --> 00:34:30,965 ♪ You decided to dip and nowyou wanna trip ♪ 577 00:34:31,035 --> 00:34:33,128 ♪ 'Cause another brother noticed me ♪ 578 00:34:33,204 --> 00:34:35,934 ♪ I'm up on him He up on me ♪ 579 00:34:36,007 --> 00:34:38,271 ♪ Don 't pay him any attention ♪ 580 00:34:38,342 --> 00:34:41,140 ♪Just cried my tears for three goodyears ♪ 581 00:34:41,212 --> 00:34:42,804 ♪ Can't be mad at me ♪ 582 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,781 ♪ 'Cause ifyou liked it then you should have put a ring on it ♪ 583 00:34:45,850 --> 00:34:48,114 ♪ Ifyou liked it then you should have put a ring on it ♪ 584 00:34:48,186 --> 00:34:50,677 ♪ Don 't be mad once you see that he want it ♪ 585 00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:52,655 ♪ 'Cause ifyou liked it then you should have put a ring on it ♪ 586 00:34:52,723 --> 00:34:55,783 ♪ Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh ♪ 587 00:34:55,860 --> 00:34:57,691 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 588 00:34:57,762 --> 00:35:00,526 ♪ Ifyou liked it then you should have put a ring on it ♪ 589 00:35:00,598 --> 00:35:02,828 ♪ Ifyou liked it then you should have put a ring on it ♪ 590 00:35:02,900 --> 00:35:05,801 ♪ Don 't be mad once you see that he want it ♪ 591 00:35:05,870 --> 00:35:08,031 ♪ 'Cause ifyou liked it then you should have put a ring on it ♪ 592 00:35:08,106 --> 00:35:10,700 ♪ Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh ♪ 593 00:35:10,775 --> 00:35:13,710 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh ♪♪ 594 00:35:13,778 --> 00:35:15,712 H i ke! 595 00:35:27,425 --> 00:35:30,861 [ Cheering ] 596 00:35:54,418 --> 00:35:56,386 You' re up, kid. 597 00:35:56,454 --> 00:35:58,581 You make this, and we wi n. 598 00:35:59,590 --> 00:36:02,991 You make this, and you die a legend. 599 00:36:04,295 --> 00:36:06,286 Can I pee first? 600 00:36:17,141 --> 00:36:19,632 [ Exhales ] He's so little. 601 00:36:26,117 --> 00:36:28,381 [ Breathing Heavily] 602 00:36:33,224 --> 00:36:35,124 - ?? [ "Single Ladies" Continues ] - Center, hike! 603 00:36:44,569 --> 00:36:46,628 - [Whistle Blows ] - [ Cheering] 604 00:36:46,704 --> 00:36:48,729 Yes! 605 00:36:48,806 --> 00:36:50,296 Yes! Yes! 606 00:36:53,644 --> 00:36:55,168 That is my boy! 607 00:36:59,517 --> 00:37:02,008 [ Mouthing Words ] 608 00:37:06,023 --> 00:37:09,481 [ Cheering Continues ] 609 00:37:38,589 --> 00:37:41,057 Nighttime skin care is a big part of my postgame ritual. 610 00:37:41,125 --> 00:37:45,687 I don't know what to say about that, but, uh... 611 00:37:45,763 --> 00:37:48,288 I was really proud ofyou tonight, Kurt. 612 00:37:49,533 --> 00:37:51,831 I wish your mom would've been there- 613 00:37:51,902 --> 00:37:54,132 I mean, alive. 614 00:37:55,539 --> 00:37:57,530 Thanks. 615 00:38:00,144 --> 00:38:02,078 Dad? 616 00:38:04,081 --> 00:38:06,982 I... have something that I wanna say. 617 00:38:11,155 --> 00:38:13,715 I'm glad thatyou're proud of me. 618 00:38:15,493 --> 00:38:17,484 But I don't wanna lie anymore. 619 00:38:19,830 --> 00:38:24,028 Being a part ofthe Glee Club and football... 620 00:38:24,101 --> 00:38:26,797 has really showed me that I can be anything. 621 00:38:28,372 --> 00:38:30,602 And what I am... 622 00:38:32,109 --> 00:38:34,100 is- 623 00:38:35,513 --> 00:38:37,447 I'm gay. 624 00:38:39,750 --> 00:38:42,184 - I know. - Really? 625 00:38:42,253 --> 00:38:45,780 I've known sinceyou were three. 626 00:38:45,856 --> 00:38:48,757 All you wanted foryour birthday was a pair of sensible heels. 627 00:38:50,361 --> 00:38:51,851 [ Laughs ] 628 00:38:51,929 --> 00:38:56,764 I guess I'm not totally in love with the idea, but... 629 00:38:56,834 --> 00:39:01,100 ifthat's whoyou are, there's nothing I can do about it. 630 00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:03,402 And I loveyou just as much. 631 00:39:05,476 --> 00:39:07,467 Okay? 632 00:39:10,881 --> 00:39:13,372 Thanks for telling me, Kurt. 633 00:39:22,727 --> 00:39:24,661 You're sure, right? 634 00:39:24,729 --> 00:39:27,789 - Yeah, Dad. I'm sure. -Just checking. 635 00:39:31,168 --> 00:39:33,193 [Bell Ringing] 636 00:39:35,139 --> 00:39:36,902 Hey. 637 00:39:38,075 --> 00:39:42,603 Here. It's my gee-ge. 638 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,080 This is the baby blanket my dad got me the day I was born. 639 00:39:45,149 --> 00:39:47,242 It was the only thing I had to remember him by. 640 00:39:47,318 --> 00:39:49,752 I used to crywithout it. 641 00:39:49,820 --> 00:39:52,755 I took it everywhere with me, so it's a little dirty. 642 00:39:52,823 --> 00:39:56,020 But I want our baby to have it. 643 00:39:56,093 --> 00:39:58,857 I'm gonna do everything I can to be a good father. 644 00:39:58,929 --> 00:40:00,658 [ Laughs ] 645 00:40:01,866 --> 00:40:03,834 Thankyou, Finn. 646 00:40:03,901 --> 00:40:06,529 Hey, guys. Howyou doing? 647 00:40:08,672 --> 00:40:12,540 - Lately I've been getting really sick in the morning. - Must be a virus. 648 00:40:12,610 --> 00:40:15,135 Hey, you putting on a little weight? You should watch your carbs. 649 00:40:15,212 --> 00:40:18,272 They're not gonna be able to hoistyou to the top ofthat cheerleading pyramid... 650 00:40:18,349 --> 00:40:19,782 much longer. 651 00:40:19,850 --> 00:40:22,614 Hey, don't talk to my girlfriend like that. 652 00:40:27,625 --> 00:40:30,822 You know what? You're right. I was out ofline. 653 00:40:33,030 --> 00:40:35,965 Seeyou guys around. 654 00:40:41,272 --> 00:40:44,139 You know, there's a question I get asked a lot. 655 00:40:44,208 --> 00:40:48,508 Whether I'm accepting an honorary doctorate or performing a citixen's arrest... 656 00:40:48,579 --> 00:40:52,310 people ask me, "Sue, what's your secret?' 657 00:40:52,383 --> 00:40:54,647 Well, I'll tellyou mysecret, western Ohio, 658 00:40:54,718 --> 00:40:57,915 Hey, guys, let's give a big Glee welcome to our three new members... 659 00:40:57,988 --> 00:41:00,081 fresh off their big win on Friday night- 660 00:41:00,157 --> 00:41:03,684 Noah Puckerman, Matt Rutherford and Mike Chang. 661 00:41:03,761 --> 00:41:05,820 Regionals, here we come, 662 00:41:05,896 --> 00:41:09,593 Sue Sylvester's not afraid to shake things up. 663 00:41:09,667 --> 00:41:13,501 Let's start todaywith "Tonight" from West Side Story., 664 00:41:16,273 --> 00:41:20,869 Tina. Show us what you got. 665 00:41:20,945 --> 00:41:23,641 [Sue ] You know, I'm tired ofhearingpeople complain,,, 666 00:41:23,714 --> 00:41:27,878 "I'm riddled with this disease" or "I was in that tsunami, " 667 00:41:27,952 --> 00:41:31,319 T o them I say, shake it up a bit. Get out ofyour box. 668 00:41:31,388 --> 00:41:34,687 Even ifthat box happens to be where you're living, 669 00:41:34,758 --> 00:41:38,819 I thought you had Glee practice, my little multitasking star. 670 00:41:38,896 --> 00:41:41,626 I quit. I'm yours exclusively. 671 00:41:41,699 --> 00:41:44,133 I'll often yell at homeless people... 672 00:41:44,201 --> 00:41:46,965 "Hey, how's that homelessness working out foryou? 673 00:41:47,037 --> 00:41:49,631 Give not beinghomeless a try., huh?" 674 00:41:49,707 --> 00:41:52,938 - Maybe this time in B-flat. - [Sue ] You knowsomething, Ohio? 675 00:41:53,010 --> 00:41:56,036 It's not easy to break out ofyour comfort xone. 676 00:41:56,113 --> 00:42:00,049 People will tearyou down, tell you you shouldn't have bothered in the first place. 677 00:42:00,117 --> 00:42:02,415 But let me tellyousomething, 678 00:42:02,486 --> 00:42:07,014 There's not much ofa difference between a stadium full ofcheering fans,,, 679 00:42:07,091 --> 00:42:10,492 and an angry crowd screaming abuse at you. 680 00:42:10,561 --> 00:42:12,859 They're both just making a lot of noise. 681 00:42:12,930 --> 00:42:15,398 How you take it is up to you. 682 00:42:15,466 --> 00:42:17,798 Convinceyourselfthey're cheering foryou, 683 00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:21,634 You do that, andsomeday, they will, 684 00:42:21,705 --> 00:42:25,334 And that's how Sue sees it. [ Chuckling ] 685 00:42:34,552 --> 00:42:38,488 ?? [ Vocalizing] 686 00:42:38,556 --> 00:42:42,492 ?? [ Harmonic Vocalizing] 687 00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:00,510 ?? [ Ends ] 688 00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:10,509 English - US - SDH