1
00:00:17,001 --> 00:00:18,767
- hey, man.
my name's jeff.
2
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,667
I'm trying to lock down
the rest of my schedule
3
00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:22,134
Before the deadline.
4
00:00:22,167 --> 00:00:23,800
I heard this class
was a cakewalk.
5
00:00:23,834 --> 00:00:25,268
Are you passing it?
6
00:00:25,301 --> 00:00:26,800
Do you like dane cook?
7
00:00:26,834 --> 00:00:28,101
- yeah, he's awesome.
8
00:00:28,134 --> 00:00:30,533
- so far so good.
9
00:00:30,567 --> 00:00:32,201
- death...
10
00:00:32,234 --> 00:00:34,268
So-called...
11
00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:38,301
Is a thing
that makes men weep.
12
00:00:38,334 --> 00:00:42,901
And yet a third of life
is spent
13
00:00:42,934 --> 00:00:44,967
In sleep.
14
00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:47,334
Open your textbooks
to page 37.
15
00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:53,533
Now...close them
and throw them away.
16
00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:58,433
Throw it away!
[laughs]
17
00:00:58,467 --> 00:00:59,867
Throw it away!
18
00:00:59,901 --> 00:01:01,800
For those of you
who are new,
19
00:01:01,834 --> 00:01:04,500
The motto of this class:
carpe diem.
20
00:01:04,533 --> 00:01:06,201
"seize the day!"
21
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:08,001
No tests! no papers.
22
00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:09,268
You want an "a"?
23
00:01:09,301 --> 00:01:13,201
Live in...
24
00:01:13,234 --> 00:01:16,368
The moment.
25
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,600
- jackpot.
- take off your shoes.
26
00:01:18,634 --> 00:01:20,767
Quick. take off your shoes.
everyone, take your shoes off.
27
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,101
Throw them away.
28
00:01:22,134 --> 00:01:23,467
Throw them across the room
over there.
29
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,767
Today, we learn to walk!
30
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,634
Get up and walk out the door!
31
00:01:26,667 --> 00:01:28,800
This day could be your last!
32
00:01:28,834 --> 00:01:30,067
You could die in your sleep.
33
00:01:30,101 --> 00:01:31,667
You could get hit by a bus.
34
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:32,967
You, that mole is raised
and dark.
35
00:01:33,001 --> 00:01:34,467
It's not a good combo.
36
00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:36,368
You are new.
- yes, i'm new.
37
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,767
But i'll be old too soon.
38
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,400
Carpe diem, sir.
carpe diem!
39
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,967
- [laughs] i like it!
40
00:01:43,001 --> 00:01:46,667
- voice command.
[phone beeps]
41
00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:48,734
Voice command.
[beep]
42
00:01:48,767 --> 00:01:50,667
Voice command.
[beep]
43
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:52,800
Voice command.
[beep]
44
00:01:52,834 --> 00:01:54,467
Voice command!
[beep]
45
00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:57,634
[clears throat]
46
00:01:57,667 --> 00:02:00,567
Voice com--
[beep]
47
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,533
- would you please use
the buttons?
48
00:02:02,567 --> 00:02:06,034
- okay, grandpa.
49
00:02:06,067 --> 00:02:07,301
- [high-pitched sneeze]
50
00:02:07,334 --> 00:02:09,400
- oh, god bless you, dear.
51
00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:11,934
[laughter]
- what's so funny?
52
00:02:11,967 --> 00:02:15,234
- you guys, i found it.
the ultimate blow-off class.
53
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:16,467
Professor whitman.
54
00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:18,467
he thinks
he's in dead poets society.
55
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:20,567
There's no tests.
there's no work.
56
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:23,334
It's just "day seizing."
57
00:02:23,368 --> 00:02:25,067
The deadline to enroll
is tomorrow.
58
00:02:25,101 --> 00:02:26,533
I suggest you all do it.
59
00:02:26,567 --> 00:02:29,167
- well, some of us are here
to actually learn things.
60
00:02:29,201 --> 00:02:32,433
- i'm in.
- me too. it sounds educational.
61
00:02:32,467 --> 00:02:34,201
- i'll do it.
i love robin williams.
62
00:02:34,234 --> 00:02:35,400
- abed?
- not a fan.
63
00:02:35,433 --> 00:02:36,734
In every movie,
there's an authority figure
64
00:02:36,767 --> 00:02:38,034
That gets mad at him
for making people laugh.
65
00:02:38,067 --> 00:02:39,767
- no, are--are you going
to take the class?
66
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:41,101
- oh, can't.
67
00:02:41,134 --> 00:02:42,301
My dad will only pay
for classes
68
00:02:42,334 --> 00:02:43,901
That will help me run
the family restaurant.
69
00:02:43,934 --> 00:02:45,433
It's been struggling
since 2001.
70
00:02:45,467 --> 00:02:47,734
9/11 was pretty much the 9/11
of the falafel business.
71
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:51,067
- so your dad has your whole
life planned out for you?
72
00:02:51,101 --> 00:02:53,067
Are you even interested
in falafel?
73
00:02:53,101 --> 00:02:54,533
- i'm interested
in making movies.
74
00:02:54,567 --> 00:02:56,234
But my dad says
all media's western propaganda
75
00:02:56,268 --> 00:02:57,634
That negatively stereotypes
arabs.
76
00:02:57,667 --> 00:03:00,201
- then he should see aladdin.
jafar was a bad-ass.
77
00:03:00,234 --> 00:03:01,634
- yes, he was.
78
00:03:02,967 --> 00:03:03,934
- abed.
- mm.
79
00:03:03,967 --> 00:03:05,268
- how much
does a film class cost?
80
00:03:05,301 --> 00:03:08,234
- $70.
81
00:03:08,268 --> 00:03:11,433
- britta.
- jeff.
82
00:03:11,467 --> 00:03:12,734
- britta.
83
00:03:12,767 --> 00:03:15,667
- isn't abed's dad
a hardcore muslim?
84
00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:17,234
They're not as understanding
as christians.
85
00:03:17,268 --> 00:03:18,867
You can get your head cut off
with a salami sword.
86
00:03:18,901 --> 00:03:20,400
- shirley!
87
00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:22,234
That's the most racist thing
i've ever heard.
88
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:23,967
- pierce will beat that
in one minute.
89
00:03:24,001 --> 00:03:25,101
[watch beeps]
90
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:32,268
- this is really nice of you.
the memo says "for dreams."
91
00:03:32,301 --> 00:03:33,800
- oh!
92
00:03:33,834 --> 00:03:35,767
- you guys, are we going
to study spanish
93
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,134
Or keep getting involved
in each other's personal lives?
94
00:03:38,167 --> 00:03:41,034
- [high-pitched sneeze]
- hey, troy sneezes like a girl.
95
00:03:41,067 --> 00:03:42,800
- and how about i pound you
like a boy?
96
00:03:42,834 --> 00:03:44,101
That didn't come out right.
97
00:03:44,134 --> 00:03:45,500
- why don't you all
just leave him alone
98
00:03:45,533 --> 00:03:47,034
With his cute little
baby sneezes.
99
00:03:47,067 --> 00:03:49,767
- you're not my mother.
- she's not?
100
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,667
- 29 seconds.
101
00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:55,800
- * give me some rope,
time in a tree *
102
00:03:55,834 --> 00:03:59,134
♪ give me the hope
to run out of steam ♪
103
00:03:59,167 --> 00:04:02,433
♪ somebody said
we could be here ♪
104
00:04:02,467 --> 00:04:06,433
♪ we could roped up, tied up,
dead in a year ♪
105
00:04:06,467 --> 00:04:11,533
♪ i can't count the reasons
i should stay ♪
106
00:04:11,567 --> 00:04:16,067
♪ one by one they all
just fade away ♪
107
00:04:21,034 --> 00:04:23,067
- what's your name?
- my name is shirley bennett.
108
00:04:23,101 --> 00:04:25,034
- shirley, you get an "a"...
- oh.
109
00:04:25,067 --> 00:04:28,567
- if you can tell me
why you are here at greendale.
110
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,167
- what'd i tell you?
111
00:04:31,201 --> 00:04:33,400
Okay, but, uh,
never again.
112
00:04:33,433 --> 00:04:34,700
- shirley?
113
00:04:34,734 --> 00:04:36,334
- to get a degree in business
114
00:04:36,368 --> 00:04:39,533
So i can sell my baked goods
and whatnot on the internet.
115
00:04:39,567 --> 00:04:41,634
- why...are you here?
116
00:04:41,667 --> 00:04:43,500
- to get a degree
in business
117
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,500
So i can sell my baked goods
and whatnot on the internet.
118
00:04:45,533 --> 00:04:48,667
- why are you here?
119
00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:51,001
- because i wasted 15 years
of my life on a man
120
00:04:51,034 --> 00:04:52,500
Who left me with nothing
but stretch marks
121
00:04:52,533 --> 00:04:54,368
And a foggy memory
of two bland orgasms.
122
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:56,834
And now it's time to get
what's mine.
123
00:04:56,867 --> 00:04:59,001
- day seized.
124
00:04:59,034 --> 00:05:01,167
[applause]
125
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,500
Only when we stop
stopping our lives
126
00:05:03,533 --> 00:05:06,400
Can we begin to start
starting them.
127
00:05:06,433 --> 00:05:09,500
Ms. edison here, for example,
would rather write
128
00:05:09,533 --> 00:05:10,901
About what happens
to other people
129
00:05:10,934 --> 00:05:13,334
Than live
what is happening to her.
130
00:05:13,368 --> 00:05:15,167
- i thought there might be
a quiz.
131
00:05:15,201 --> 00:05:16,867
- well, here's a quiz for you.
132
00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:20,101
Why did the pretty young girl
die alone
133
00:05:20,134 --> 00:05:22,134
Surrounded
by sweater-wearing cats
134
00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:25,567
Who are trained to use
human toilets?
135
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:29,201
Get up on your desk.
136
00:05:29,234 --> 00:05:31,201
Come on.
stand on your desk.
137
00:05:31,234 --> 00:05:33,268
Up on your desk.
138
00:05:33,301 --> 00:05:35,867
She made it!
ha ha!
139
00:05:35,901 --> 00:05:37,533
Everyone stand
on your desks!
140
00:05:37,567 --> 00:05:39,268
Up, up, up, up, up!
come on.
141
00:05:39,301 --> 00:05:42,667
Rise, rise, rise
above the programming.
142
00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:45,268
All your lives you were told
don't stand on your desks.
143
00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,667
Well, why not?
144
00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:49,134
[desk collapses]
- ooh! ooh! oh, heaven.
145
00:05:49,167 --> 00:05:51,700
My.
- she's okay.
146
00:05:51,734 --> 00:05:54,567
Go to the nurse.
seize the day.
147
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:58,001
- you know, i was really moved
by your honesty earlier.
148
00:05:58,034 --> 00:06:00,533
Particularly the part
about your husband
149
00:06:00,567 --> 00:06:02,167
Not being able,
you know...
150
00:06:02,201 --> 00:06:05,433
- your homework. ah.
151
00:06:05,467 --> 00:06:07,533
I want you to swim in a lake
152
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:10,634
And tell ten people
that you love them.
153
00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:13,800
Mr. winger,
can i have a word, please?
154
00:06:13,834 --> 00:06:16,734
- are you okay.
- oh, maybe i'm not.
155
00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:18,201
- hi.
156
00:06:18,234 --> 00:06:20,834
Mr. winger, i like to think
that every life
157
00:06:20,867 --> 00:06:22,967
That passes through this class
is changed.
158
00:06:23,001 --> 00:06:25,567
But every year, there's always
one cocky opportunist
159
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,967
Who's just here to coast
and grab an easy "a."
160
00:06:28,001 --> 00:06:31,101
- oh, yeah.
his name's pierce.
161
00:06:31,134 --> 00:06:32,268
I-i can talk to him
for you.
162
00:06:32,301 --> 00:06:34,600
- 's actually you,
mr. winger.
163
00:06:34,634 --> 00:06:37,034
You have no intention
of seizing the day.
164
00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:39,467
- what? listen,
i-i have never lived
165
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,201
Until i met you.
166
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,634
I-i love you.
167
00:06:42,667 --> 00:06:45,101
Oh, there's one down.
nine to go.
168
00:06:45,134 --> 00:06:46,767
Not that i need the grade
or even want it!
169
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,101
- well, i'm glad to hear it.
170
00:06:48,134 --> 00:06:50,634
Because if you don't genuinely
seize the day
171
00:06:50,667 --> 00:06:52,368
Before the end of the week,
172
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,767
Then you will be seizing an "f"
for the semester.
173
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,500
- you...
174
00:06:57,533 --> 00:07:01,001
This is no way
to teach accounting!
175
00:07:01,034 --> 00:07:02,800
- i have to plan
in advance
176
00:07:02,834 --> 00:07:05,600
How to prove that i live
in the moment.
177
00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:07,001
I mean, i'd rather take
an actual class,
178
00:07:07,034 --> 00:07:08,301
But now it's too late
to drop or add.
179
00:07:08,334 --> 00:07:13,234
- it is not fair how hard it is
for you to cheat here.
180
00:07:13,268 --> 00:07:15,134
[inhales]
hey, how's it going?
181
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:16,533
How's your film class,
buddy?
182
00:07:16,567 --> 00:07:18,667
- it's cool. our first
assignment is a documentary.
183
00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:20,533
They're like real movies,
but with ugly people.
184
00:07:20,567 --> 00:07:22,001
I'm learning a lot.
- that is so wonderful.
185
00:07:22,034 --> 00:07:23,533
Some people don't like
getting involved
186
00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:24,533
In other's lives.
187
00:07:24,567 --> 00:07:25,634
I think it's great.
188
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:27,034
- hey, if you're making
a documentary
189
00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:29,134
About britta patting herself
on the back,
190
00:07:29,167 --> 00:07:30,533
You're gonna need
a backup battery.
191
00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:31,967
- actually, i'm doing a movie
about my dad.
192
00:07:32,001 --> 00:07:33,301
- that is brilliant.
193
00:07:33,334 --> 00:07:35,167
How did he react to you
signing up for the film class?
194
00:07:35,201 --> 00:07:37,167
- that part hasn't happened yet.
here he comes.
195
00:07:37,201 --> 00:07:40,433
- hey! you want to get involved
in my family's business?
196
00:07:40,467 --> 00:07:42,567
- holy...war.
197
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:46,400
- where do i find mr. britta?
- i'm mr. britta.
198
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:49,234
That's right.
i'm a woman with rights.
199
00:07:49,268 --> 00:07:51,500
And you can see
my whole face.
200
00:07:51,533 --> 00:07:53,334
- oh, i get it!
201
00:07:53,368 --> 00:07:55,234
Because i'm arab,
i must hate women.
202
00:07:55,268 --> 00:07:57,767
Let me tell you something,
i love women.
203
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,400
But i'm getting a major
b-word vibe from you.
204
00:08:00,433 --> 00:08:02,201
- wow, i can't believe
i missed out
205
00:08:02,234 --> 00:08:03,867
On getting involved
in this.
206
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,234
- you go host american idol
207
00:08:05,268 --> 00:08:06,467
And you stop messing
with my son.
208
00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:08,201
He's a special boy.
209
00:08:08,234 --> 00:08:10,234
I raise him, okay?
you don't raise him.
210
00:08:10,268 --> 00:08:12,600
- raising him means letting him
follow his dreams.
211
00:08:12,634 --> 00:08:14,301
- dreams are for sleeping.
- you don't know that.
212
00:08:14,334 --> 00:08:16,134
- it's clinically proven.
- so's polio.
213
00:08:16,167 --> 00:08:18,034
- you lost me!
214
00:08:18,067 --> 00:08:20,101
- abed wants to study film.
215
00:08:20,134 --> 00:08:22,134
- [speaking arabic]
216
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:24,268
- wait, what is he saying?
- he says "we're leaving."
217
00:08:24,301 --> 00:08:26,134
- tell him that you want
to stay and study film.
218
00:08:26,167 --> 00:08:27,533
- i don't think i'm really
in the scene.
219
00:08:27,567 --> 00:08:29,433
- see, it was hard enough
to talk to him before.
220
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,433
Now we have this between us!
221
00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:32,767
Let's go!
- hey! hey!
222
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:33,767
- hey, don't touch me!
223
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,034
- guys, guys, stop it.
stop it.
224
00:08:35,067 --> 00:08:37,067
- you don't touch me!
- britta back up. stop.
225
00:08:37,101 --> 00:08:39,567
Sir, you have a right
to your faith
226
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,134
And your family's privacy.
227
00:08:41,167 --> 00:08:44,334
But abed is an adult
and a u.s. citizen.
228
00:08:44,368 --> 00:08:46,134
Right?
- yeah.
229
00:08:46,167 --> 00:08:47,934
- and he has the right
to stay.
230
00:08:47,967 --> 00:08:52,368
- fine. you want to raise him,
you raise him.
231
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,634
I'm out!
- wait, what?
232
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,934
- you know, i had a father
like you.
233
00:08:56,967 --> 00:08:59,101
And the day i finally
cut myself loose
234
00:08:59,134 --> 00:09:04,301
[crying] is the day
i finally started being happy.
235
00:09:04,334 --> 00:09:06,301
- well, that went well.
236
00:09:06,334 --> 00:09:08,034
- i'll have to make
some adjustments to my film.
237
00:09:08,067 --> 00:09:10,500
Jeff, i think you should play
the role of my father.
238
00:09:10,533 --> 00:09:11,967
- i don't want to be
your father.
239
00:09:12,001 --> 00:09:13,634
- that's perfect.
you already know your lines.
240
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:22,183
What?
241
00:09:22,217 --> 00:09:25,150
Why are you dressed
like an '80s rapist?
242
00:09:25,183 --> 00:09:27,183
- professor whitman
comes by here every morning
243
00:09:27,217 --> 00:09:31,450
And i need him to see me
celebrating life.
244
00:09:31,484 --> 00:09:32,484
What's all that?
245
00:09:32,517 --> 00:09:34,317
- i am calculating
abed's expenses
246
00:09:34,350 --> 00:09:35,684
For the semester.
247
00:09:35,717 --> 00:09:36,851
You know, there's books.
there's meals.
248
00:09:36,884 --> 00:09:38,051
He's renting that camera.
249
00:09:38,084 --> 00:09:40,018
And, you know, he needs
a little spending money.
250
00:09:40,051 --> 00:09:42,150
- um, all money
is spending money.
251
00:09:42,183 --> 00:09:45,217
- britta, um, it's amazing
what you're doing for abed.
252
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:46,651
I mean, a lot of people talk
a good game.
253
00:09:46,684 --> 00:09:50,350
But you, you follow through.
love you.
254
00:09:50,384 --> 00:09:53,051
- shirley, thank you.
255
00:09:53,084 --> 00:09:54,817
Bet that doesn't happen
to you a lot.
256
00:09:54,851 --> 00:09:55,917
- happened yesterday.
257
00:09:55,951 --> 00:09:57,250
Shirley's just doing
her homework.
258
00:09:57,283 --> 00:09:59,684
- hillary, thank you
for getting people coffee.
259
00:09:59,717 --> 00:10:01,217
I love you.
260
00:10:04,084 --> 00:10:06,250
- abed,
how's it going, buddy?
261
00:10:06,283 --> 00:10:07,851
- good. my film
is coming together.
262
00:10:07,884 --> 00:10:08,851
Cool tie, jeff.
263
00:10:08,884 --> 00:10:10,084
Are you wearing that
264
00:10:10,118 --> 00:10:11,484
Because you're playing
the role of my dad,
265
00:10:11,517 --> 00:10:12,484
Or is it really christmas?
266
00:10:12,517 --> 00:10:13,484
- definitely christmas.
267
00:10:13,517 --> 00:10:14,651
- is that a new camera?
- yeah.
268
00:10:14,684 --> 00:10:15,817
It's more expensive,
269
00:10:15,851 --> 00:10:17,484
But it lets me adjust
really specific settings
270
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,183
That most people don't notice
or think about.
271
00:10:19,217 --> 00:10:21,250
Hi, i would like a latte.
272
00:10:21,283 --> 00:10:22,584
And, jeff,
let me get you something.
273
00:10:22,617 --> 00:10:23,917
- i'm okay.
- oh, come on. i got you.
274
00:10:23,951 --> 00:10:25,350
- no, really.
i don't need anything.
275
00:10:25,384 --> 00:10:26,717
- no, really.
you're insulting me.
276
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:27,884
Look at all this cash.
277
00:10:27,917 --> 00:10:30,684
- okay, i will get
a small, black coffee.
278
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:35,250
- boo. an ordinary coffee
for an ordinary life.
279
00:10:35,283 --> 00:10:38,350
- [perky] good morning,
professor whitman.
280
00:10:38,384 --> 00:10:42,183
- sorry, mr. winger,
these won't cut it.
281
00:10:42,217 --> 00:10:44,917
- shazbot!
- i shall have...
282
00:10:48,751 --> 00:10:50,884
A birthday cake!
283
00:10:52,550 --> 00:10:53,917
- [high-pitched sneeze]
284
00:10:53,951 --> 00:10:57,018
[laughter]
285
00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:02,417
- i've seen men
in your situation, troy.
286
00:11:02,450 --> 00:11:04,384
No, those are both for me.
287
00:11:04,417 --> 00:11:06,584
You were
on top of the world before
288
00:11:06,617 --> 00:11:08,217
And now no one
gives a rat's ass.
289
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,317
I can help you
with your image.
290
00:11:10,350 --> 00:11:11,951
First, lose the jacket.
291
00:11:11,984 --> 00:11:13,517
You look
like a high school bitch.
292
00:11:13,550 --> 00:11:15,684
But more importantly,
it's your sneeze.
293
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,018
When i was a ceo,
294
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:20,051
I had an array
of masculine sneezes
295
00:11:20,084 --> 00:11:22,150
That asserted dominance.
296
00:11:22,183 --> 00:11:23,651
You know, like,
the explosive,
297
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,484
Shock-the-room-into-silence
sneeze.
298
00:11:25,517 --> 00:11:28,084
The [deafening sneeze]
299
00:11:28,118 --> 00:11:29,417
[shouts incoherently]
300
00:11:31,084 --> 00:11:33,018
Or the draw-them-in sneeze.
301
00:11:33,051 --> 00:11:37,084
You know...
[gasping convulsively]
302
00:11:37,118 --> 00:11:40,984
And maybe i wouldn't sneeze
because i'm in control.
303
00:11:41,018 --> 00:11:43,484
You could even use a sneeze
to drive home a point even.
304
00:11:43,517 --> 00:11:45,118
Like, i think--
i think the cubs
305
00:11:45,150 --> 00:11:46,584
Are going to win it all
this year.
306
00:11:46,617 --> 00:11:47,784
[violently clipped sneeze]
307
00:11:47,817 --> 00:11:50,550
[sniffs]
308
00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:52,717
What do you think?
309
00:11:52,751 --> 00:11:54,484
- tell me more.
310
00:12:04,517 --> 00:12:07,018
- it's showtime.
311
00:12:09,584 --> 00:12:11,084
Hey, everybody.
good morning.
312
00:12:11,118 --> 00:12:12,684
Good morning, sir.
313
00:12:12,717 --> 00:12:16,084
Good morning, greendale!
hi! good morning!
314
00:12:16,118 --> 00:12:19,084
Watch the kite.
uh-oh.
315
00:12:19,118 --> 00:12:22,250
Mind if i get a chance?
oh!
316
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:23,317
Look at this.
one foot.
317
00:12:23,350 --> 00:12:26,651
[laughing]
318
00:12:26,684 --> 00:12:28,183
Thanks, you guys.
bring it in here.
319
00:12:28,217 --> 00:12:29,684
Nice. thank you so much,
you guys.
320
00:12:29,717 --> 00:12:33,317
That was really fun.
321
00:12:33,350 --> 00:12:34,484
- sloppy.
322
00:12:34,517 --> 00:12:36,384
And considering the age
of these girls,
323
00:12:36,417 --> 00:12:37,717
Unwittingly creepy.
324
00:12:37,751 --> 00:12:40,951
- damn it.
325
00:12:40,984 --> 00:12:42,118
Beat it.
326
00:12:42,150 --> 00:12:43,717
Professor, will you look
at the amount of work
327
00:12:43,751 --> 00:12:44,851
That i'm putting into this?
328
00:12:44,884 --> 00:12:46,283
I mean, throw me a bone!
329
00:12:46,317 --> 00:12:49,283
- had i not already cried
at the sunrise this morning,
330
00:12:49,317 --> 00:12:51,651
I would be weeping right now.
331
00:12:51,684 --> 00:12:55,183
- what does that mean?
- what do you mean, jeff?
332
00:12:55,217 --> 00:12:56,917
What does your life mean?
333
00:12:56,951 --> 00:12:58,651
How long does it take you
in the morning
334
00:12:58,684 --> 00:13:00,384
To--to make it look
like you have bed head?
335
00:13:00,417 --> 00:13:03,217
How many sweat pants,
sport jacket combos did you try
336
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:06,651
Before you found the one
that said "i don't care"?
337
00:13:06,684 --> 00:13:09,617
Seize the day, jeff,
for real.
338
00:13:09,651 --> 00:13:11,084
Go running naked
in a hailstorm,
339
00:13:11,118 --> 00:13:12,584
Kiss a girl in the middle
of the day,
340
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:15,550
Fly a kite,
but do it for yourself.
341
00:13:15,584 --> 00:13:18,484
Or you won't just fail
my class,
342
00:13:18,517 --> 00:13:22,751
You'll fail life.
343
00:13:26,984 --> 00:13:29,550
- thank you.
344
00:13:29,584 --> 00:13:31,417
That guy's
really got your number.
345
00:13:31,450 --> 00:13:32,751
- drop the flower.
346
00:13:32,784 --> 00:13:34,417
- look, i really need
to talk to you about abed.
347
00:13:34,450 --> 00:13:36,250
I went by his film class today.
he wasn't there.
348
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:37,550
He's cutting.
349
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:40,051
I want to know why he would do
something like that.
350
00:13:40,084 --> 00:13:41,384
- ask him.
351
00:13:41,417 --> 00:13:42,717
- every time i try to ask him
about it,
352
00:13:42,751 --> 00:13:44,984
He just keeps filming me
and telling me
353
00:13:45,018 --> 00:13:46,917
That i'm playing the role
of his mother.
354
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:49,417
- abed is not normal.
355
00:13:49,450 --> 00:13:51,317
That's what you bought
356
00:13:51,350 --> 00:13:55,084
When you intentionally tangled
yourself in his life.
357
00:13:55,118 --> 00:13:57,817
- look, will you just--
will you please talk to him?
358
00:13:57,851 --> 00:13:59,150
- i've got problems of my own!
359
00:13:59,183 --> 00:14:00,584
I'm out here trying
to seize a day!
360
00:14:04,851 --> 00:14:08,450
What in the hell?
361
00:14:08,484 --> 00:14:11,951
Is he gonna kill us?
362
00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:16,084
- thanks for the pizza, abed.
i was starving.
363
00:14:16,118 --> 00:14:18,084
- yeah, it's nice.
like a--like a picnic.
364
00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:19,651
- or a family dinner.
365
00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:20,817
- it's a study group
and a pizza.
366
00:14:20,851 --> 00:14:23,584
Let's not get carried away.
367
00:14:23,617 --> 00:14:26,450
[britta clears throat]
368
00:14:26,484 --> 00:14:29,217
[clears throat louder]
369
00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:32,217
- so, abed,
how's film class?
370
00:14:32,250 --> 00:14:34,150
- good.
371
00:14:34,183 --> 00:14:35,984
- yeah? did you go
to class today?
372
00:14:36,018 --> 00:14:37,384
- not really.
- not really.
373
00:14:37,417 --> 00:14:39,051
Well, britta's paying
for those classes.
374
00:14:39,084 --> 00:14:40,450
Don't you think
maybe you should go?
375
00:14:40,484 --> 00:14:41,784
- i was shooting my movie.
376
00:14:41,817 --> 00:14:43,250
- yeah, but your movie's
for class.
377
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:46,150
- my movie's more important.
- well, ooh la la.
378
00:14:46,183 --> 00:14:48,118
- someone order
seven lattes?
379
00:14:48,150 --> 00:14:50,951
- i got that.
- no, you don't got it.
380
00:14:50,984 --> 00:14:53,550
I got it, abed.
i got everything.
381
00:14:53,584 --> 00:14:55,817
What is wrong with you?
382
00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:57,384
All i want to do
is take care of you.
383
00:14:57,417 --> 00:15:00,217
I know you're not stupid.
are you doing this on purpose?
384
00:15:03,317 --> 00:15:04,984
Why won't you answer me?
385
00:15:05,018 --> 00:15:06,150
- 'cause this is the scene
where you leave.
386
00:15:06,183 --> 00:15:08,550
- you better believe it.
387
00:15:08,584 --> 00:15:11,217
- britta.
388
00:15:15,051 --> 00:15:16,183
- what do you think, dad?
389
00:15:16,217 --> 00:15:20,217
- i think you are
really weird, abed.
390
00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:21,651
And i think the wrong person
just left.
391
00:15:26,951 --> 00:15:28,584
- perfect.
that's a wrap.
392
00:15:31,684 --> 00:15:33,684
- that guy was your dad?
393
00:15:37,984 --> 00:15:39,418
- hey.
- hey.
394
00:15:39,450 --> 00:15:41,784
You don't really have tickets
for ravi shankar, do you?
395
00:15:41,817 --> 00:15:43,650
- i lied to get you here
396
00:15:43,684 --> 00:15:45,450
Because it's time
to communicate.
397
00:15:45,483 --> 00:15:48,184
- communicate.
have you met abed?
398
00:15:48,217 --> 00:15:49,850
- it's not the two of you
that need to talk.
399
00:15:49,884 --> 00:15:52,251
- hey, wait a minute,
where's weezer?
400
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:53,251
- they're coming.
401
00:15:53,284 --> 00:15:54,351
All right, now,
the only reason
402
00:15:54,384 --> 00:15:55,617
Why this whole mess
got started
403
00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:58,750
Is because both of you wanted
the best for abed.
404
00:15:58,784 --> 00:16:01,884
And i think the lesson
we can all take away from this
405
00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:04,251
Is that everyone
should always do
406
00:16:04,284 --> 00:16:09,017
Whatever they want
and leave each other out of it.
407
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:12,084
- is that your take?
let me give you mine.
408
00:16:12,117 --> 00:16:13,650
You and your pillow-lipped
girlfriend
409
00:16:13,684 --> 00:16:16,450
Got all up in my stuff
because you wanted to be cowboys
410
00:16:16,483 --> 00:16:18,450
And then you turned chicken
when you found out
411
00:16:18,483 --> 00:16:21,450
It will take more than speeches
and guided missiles.
412
00:16:21,483 --> 00:16:24,217
- interesting. hadn't seen
the iraq metaphor, but--
413
00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:25,384
- what iraq metaphor?
414
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:26,884
I am talking
about your speeches
415
00:16:26,917 --> 00:16:28,884
And her guided--
- got it!
416
00:16:28,917 --> 00:16:31,450
The point is is that britta
is sorry, right?
417
00:16:31,483 --> 00:16:32,884
- wrong.
- crap.
418
00:16:32,917 --> 00:16:34,684
- abed may not be
a great filmmaker,
419
00:16:34,717 --> 00:16:36,917
But that doesn't mean
that he wants to make falafel.
420
00:16:36,951 --> 00:16:38,984
You need to let him make
his own decisions.
421
00:16:39,017 --> 00:16:40,084
- make his own decisions?
422
00:16:40,117 --> 00:16:42,151
Have you met abed?
you know who he is?
423
00:16:42,184 --> 00:16:43,418
- guys.
- yes.
424
00:16:43,450 --> 00:16:44,917
- guys!
- he loves--
425
00:16:44,951 --> 00:16:46,684
- i'm finished.
426
00:16:48,017 --> 00:16:49,984
Britta, jeff, dad.
427
00:16:54,650 --> 00:16:55,684
Dad.
428
00:17:03,351 --> 00:17:05,351
[presses key]
429
00:17:05,384 --> 00:17:07,850
[noisemaker tooting]
430
00:17:12,351 --> 00:17:13,418
[baby crying]
431
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,450
- how's it going, buddy?
432
00:17:15,483 --> 00:17:17,017
- i don't want to be
your father.
433
00:17:19,284 --> 00:17:21,384
[baby crying]
434
00:17:21,418 --> 00:17:23,184
I think
you are weird, abed.
435
00:17:23,217 --> 00:17:25,517
- okay, look, i need to talk
to you about abed.
436
00:17:25,550 --> 00:17:27,117
- he's not normal.
437
00:17:27,151 --> 00:17:30,184
[man screams]
438
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:31,583
- what is wrong with you?
439
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:34,817
All i want to do
is take care of you.
440
00:17:34,850 --> 00:17:36,817
Why will you not answer me?
441
00:17:38,917 --> 00:17:40,351
[horse neighs]
442
00:17:40,384 --> 00:17:43,318
[heart monitor beeping]
443
00:17:43,351 --> 00:17:45,284
[flatline]
444
00:17:45,318 --> 00:17:47,717
- what do you think, dad?
445
00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:50,117
- i think you are weird,
abed.
446
00:17:50,151 --> 00:17:52,251
And i think the wrong person
just left.
447
00:17:59,483 --> 00:18:01,318
- it's not exactly
citizen kane.
448
00:18:01,351 --> 00:18:05,084
- [crying]
449
00:18:26,418 --> 00:18:28,884
- i feel a little out
of the loop here.
450
00:18:28,917 --> 00:18:31,784
- that feeling is called
the joy of freedom.
451
00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:39,951
- my son is hard
to understand.
452
00:18:39,984 --> 00:18:44,217
If making movies help him
be understood,
453
00:18:44,251 --> 00:18:45,951
Then i pay for the class.
454
00:18:54,583 --> 00:18:55,917
- [whispering]
i made this all happen.
455
00:18:55,951 --> 00:18:59,084
- with falafel as a fallback.
456
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:04,650
- abed.
- yeah.
457
00:19:04,684 --> 00:19:09,084
- did you do all of that
to me on purpose?
458
00:19:09,117 --> 00:19:11,817
That's not a very nice way
to treat your friends.
459
00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:14,817
- well, britta, it isn't called
friend business,
460
00:19:14,850 --> 00:19:17,550
It's called show business.
461
00:19:17,583 --> 00:19:18,650
- he's smoking.
462
00:19:18,684 --> 00:19:21,483
- honey, let him leave
the nest.
463
00:19:24,517 --> 00:19:29,151
- get your hand off my knee.
- sorry.
464
00:19:33,017 --> 00:19:34,450
- [clamorous sneeze]
465
00:19:34,483 --> 00:19:37,017
- god--god bless you.
god bless you.
466
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:39,617
- thank you.
467
00:19:39,650 --> 00:19:41,483
- for someone who doesn't like
getting involved,
468
00:19:41,517 --> 00:19:44,550
Well, i owe you.
469
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:46,517
- you owe me.
470
00:19:46,550 --> 00:19:49,017
That cannot be comfortable
for you.
471
00:19:49,051 --> 00:19:54,450
- hey, um, you should kiss me
right now.
472
00:20:05,450 --> 00:20:08,418
- day seized!
- we're even.
473
00:20:08,450 --> 00:20:11,184
- [laughs]
"a" plus, winger.
474
00:20:11,217 --> 00:20:13,650
I know a life-changing kiss
when i see one.
475
00:20:13,684 --> 00:20:18,418
Wowee! ha ha!
[laughing]
476
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:22,217
- yeah. fooled you.
477
00:20:30,450 --> 00:20:33,384
Sync by honeybunny
Resync by Pippo Inzaghi