1
00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:03,324
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
2
00:00:03,536 --> 00:00:05,504
[###]
3
00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:19,547
Hey, man. My name is Jeff.
4
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:22,847
I'm trying to lock down the rest
of my schedule before the deadline.
5
00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:26,025
I heard this class was a cakewalk.
Are you passing it?
6
00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:28,857
Do you like Dane Cook?
Yeah, he's awesome.
7
00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:31,087
So far so good.
8
00:00:31,464 --> 00:00:34,900
Death, so called
9
00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:39,060
Is a thing that makes men weep
10
00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:44,938
And yet a third of life
Is spent in sleep
11
00:00:46,012 --> 00:00:48,105
Open your text books to page 37.
12
00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:54,276
Now close them
and throw them away.
13
00:00:56,589 --> 00:00:59,183
Throw it away. Ha-ha-ha.
14
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:00,620
Throw it away.
15
00:01:01,127 --> 00:01:03,618
For those who are new,
the motto of this class,
16
00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:08,767
carpe diem, seize the day,
no tests, no papers.
17
00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:10,026
You want an A?
18
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:12,397
Live in
19
00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:15,664
the moment.
20
00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:18,605
Jackpot.
21
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,837
Take off your shoes.
Quick, take off your shoes.
22
00:01:21,047 --> 00:01:22,639
Everyone, take your shoes off,
throw them away.
23
00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:24,146
Throw them across the room
over there.
24
00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:27,148
Today we learn to walk,
get up and walk out the door.
25
00:01:27,353 --> 00:01:29,548
This day could be your last.
26
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:32,281
You could die in your sleep.
You could get hit by a bus.
27
00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:35,086
You, that mole is raised and dark,
it's not a good combo.
28
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:38,492
You are new.
Yes, I'm new, but I'll be old too soon.
29
00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:41,166
Carpe diem, sir, carpe diem.
30
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[LAUGHS]
31
00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:43,729
I like it!
32
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,165
Voice command.
33
00:01:45,371 --> 00:01:46,736
[BEEPING AFTER EACH
VOICE COMMAND]
34
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:48,768
Voice command.
35
00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:50,637
Voice command.
36
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:52,602
Voice command.
37
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,247
Voice command.
38
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:57,874
[CLEARS THROAT]
39
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:00,448
Voice comm...
40
00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:03,284
Would you please use the buttons?
41
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,459
Okay, grandpa.
42
00:02:06,659 --> 00:02:10,151
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Achoo!
Oh. God bless you, dear.
43
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:11,853
[BOTH LAUGHING]
44
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:14,295
What's so funny?
You guys, I found it.
45
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:15,991
The ultimate blow-off class.
46
00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:19,399
Professor Whitman, he thinks he's
in Dead Poets Society.
47
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:24,100
There's no tests, there's no work,
it's just day seizing.
48
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:27,302
The deadline to enroll is tomorrow.
I suggest you all do it.
49
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,948
Well, some of us are here
to actually learn things.
50
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,345
I'm in.
Me too, it sounds educational.
51
00:02:33,419 --> 00:02:35,444
I'll do it, I love Robin Williams.
Abed?
52
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,213
Not a fan. In every movie,
there's an authority figure
53
00:02:37,423 --> 00:02:38,788
that gets mad at him
for making people laugh.
54
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,392
No, are you going to take the class?
Oh, can't.
55
00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:44,654
My dad will only pay for classes that
will help me run the family restaurant.
56
00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:48,493
It's been struggling since 2001, 9/11 was
pretty much the 9/11 of the falafel business.
57
00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:51,534
So your dad has your whole life
planned out for you?
58
00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:55,003
Are you even interested in falafel?
I'm interested in making movies.
59
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:58,405
But my Dad says all media's western
propaganda that negatively stereotypes Arabs.
60
00:02:58,611 --> 00:03:00,704
Then he should see Aladdin,
Jafar was a badass.
61
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,381
SHIRLEY: Yes, he was.
ABED: Yeah.
62
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:03,708
TROY:
He was.
63
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,044
Abed,
how much does a film class cost?
64
00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:07,913
Seventy dollars.
65
00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:12,187
Britta?
Jeff?
66
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:16,224
Britta.
Isn't Abed's dad a hardcore Muslim?
67
00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:17,623
They're not as understanding
as Christians.
68
00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:19,229
You could get your head cut off
with a salami sword.
69
00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:22,993
Shirley, that's the most racist thing
I've ever heard.
70
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,728
Pierce will beat that in one minute.
71
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,510
ABED:
This is really nice of you.
72
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:34,043
The memo says, "For dreams."
BOTH: Aw.
73
00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:36,340
You guys,
are we going to study Spanish,
74
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,915
or keep getting involved
in each other's personal lives?
75
00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:41,780
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Achoo!
Hey, Troy sneezes like a girl.
76
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,855
How about I pound you like a boy?
That didn't come out right.
77
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,788
Why don't you leave him alone
with his cute baby sneezes.
78
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:50,519
You're not my mother.
She's not?
79
00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:52,420
Twenty-nine seconds.
80
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:54,600
[THE 88'S
"AT LEAST IT WAS HERE" PLAYS]
81
00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:21,523
[###]
82
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:23,821
What's your name?
My name is Shirley Bennett.
83
00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:25,827
Shirley, you get an A, Oh.
84
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:28,592
If you can tell me
why you are here at Greendale.
85
00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:31,732
What did I tell you?
86
00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:34,169
Okay, but, uh, never again.
87
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:35,466
WHITMAN:
Shirley?
88
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:38,337
To get a degree in business
so I can sell my baked goods
89
00:04:38,544 --> 00:04:40,011
and whatnot on the Internet.
90
00:04:40,246 --> 00:04:42,407
Why are you here?
91
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:46,282
To get a degree in business so I can sell
my baked goods and whatnot on the Internet.
92
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:48,147
[LOUDER] Why are you here?
93
00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:51,517
Because I wasted 15 years
of my life
94
00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:53,419
on a man who left me
with nothing but stretch marks
95
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:55,116
and a foggy memory
of two bland orgasms.
96
00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:57,455
And now it's time to get
what's mine.
97
00:04:57,664 --> 00:04:59,598
Day seized.
98
00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:01,925
[ALL CLAPPING]
99
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:07,163
Only when we stop stopping our lives
can we begin to start starting them.
100
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,204
Ms. Edison here, for example,
101
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:12,503
would rather write what happens
to other people than live
102
00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:14,111
what is happening to her.
103
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,647
I thought there might be a quiz.
Well, here's a quiz for you.
104
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:20,785
Why did the pretty young girl
die alone,
105
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,784
surrounded
by sweater-wearing cats
106
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,820
who were trained
to use human toilets?
107
00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:28,323
Get up on your desk.
108
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,960
Come on, stand on your desk.
109
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,462
Up on your desk.
110
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:36,098
She made it. Ha-ha.
111
00:05:36,302 --> 00:05:38,293
Everyone, stand on your desks.
112
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,028
Up, up, up. Come on.
113
00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:43,208
Rise, rise,
rise above the programming.
114
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:46,173
All your lives you were told
don't stand on your desk.
115
00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:48,210
Well, why not?
116
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:49,904
[ALL GASP]
117
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:54,250
She's okay, go to the nurse,
seize the day.
118
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,854
You know, I was very moved
by your honesty earlier.
119
00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:02,917
Particularly the part about,
uh, your husband not being...
120
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:05,029
WHITMAN:
Your homework. Ah.
121
00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:06,198
Oh.
122
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:09,857
I want you to swim in a lake and
tell 10 people that you love them.
123
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:14,573
Mr. Winger,
may I have a word, please?
124
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,508
SHIRLEY: Are you okay?
Oh. Oh, maybe, I'm not.
125
00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:21,512
Hi, Mr. Winger,
I like to think that every life
126
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,739
that passes through this class
is changed.
127
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:26,441
But every year, there's
always one cocky opportunist
128
00:06:26,652 --> 00:06:28,711
who's just here to coast
and grab an easy A.
129
00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:30,786
Oh, yeah.
130
00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:33,288
His name is Pierce,
I can talk to him for you.
131
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:35,358
It's actually you, Mr. Winger.
132
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:37,791
You have no intention
of seizing the day.
133
00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:41,899
What? Listen, l...
I have never lived until I met you.
134
00:06:42,101 --> 00:06:45,867
L... I love you.
There's one down, nine to go.
135
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,937
Not that I need the grade
or even want it.
136
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:51,304
Well, glad to hear it, because
if you don't genuinely seize the day
137
00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:52,944
before the end of the week,
138
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,546
then you will be seizing an F
for the semester.
139
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,045
[###]
140
00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:01,748
This is no way to teach accounting.
141
00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:06,288
I have to plan in advance how to
prove that I live in the moment.
142
00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:09,689
I'd rather take an actual class,
but now it's too late to drop or add.
143
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:13,195
It is not fair how hard it is
for you to cheat here.
144
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:17,294
Hah! Hey, how's it going?
How's your film class, buddy?
145
00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:19,471
It's cool. Our first
assignment is a documentary.
146
00:07:19,672 --> 00:07:21,299
They're like real movies
but with ugly people.
147
00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:23,441
I'm learning a lot.
That is so wonderful.
148
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:26,407
Some people don't like getting involved
in others' lives. I think it's great.
149
00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:29,877
Hey, if you're making a documentary about
Britta patting herself on the back,
150
00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:31,310
you're gonna need
a backup battery.
151
00:07:31,517 --> 00:07:32,984
Actually,
I'm doing a movie about my dad.
152
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:36,155
That is brilliant. How did he react
to you signing up for the film class?
153
00:07:36,355 --> 00:07:38,152
That part hasn't happened yet.
Here he comes.
154
00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:41,190
Hey, you want to get involved
in my family's business?
155
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:43,228
Holy war.
156
00:07:43,429 --> 00:07:45,124
Where do I find Mr. Britta?
157
00:07:46,098 --> 00:07:47,156
I'm Mr. Britta.
158
00:07:47,366 --> 00:07:49,800
That's right,
I'm a woman with rights.
159
00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:52,266
And you can see my whole face.
160
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,999
Oh. I get it, because I'm Arab
I must hate women.
161
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,404
Let me tell you something.
I love women.
162
00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:01,739
But I'm getting a major B-word vibe
from you.
163
00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:04,644
Ow, I can't believe I missed out
on getting involved in this.
164
00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:07,581
You go host American Idol,
and you stop messing with my son.
165
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:08,811
He is a special boy.
166
00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:10,989
I raise him. You don't.
Raising him
167
00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:14,318
means letting him follow dreams.
Dreams are for sleeping.
168
00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:16,188
You don't know that.
It's clinically proven.
169
00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:18,420
So is polio.
You lost me.
170
00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:20,861
Abed wants to study film.
171
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:22,892
[SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
172
00:08:23,102 --> 00:08:25,036
What's he saying?
He says we're leaving.
173
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,967
Tell him you wanna stay
and study film.
174
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,232
I don't think I'm really in the scene.
See?
175
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:32,206
It's hard to talk to him before,
now we have this between us.
176
00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:33,537
Let's go.
Hey. Hey.
177
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:35,369
Don't touch me.
178
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:37,606
You... You don't touch me.
Stop.
179
00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:41,548
Sir, you have a right to your faith
and your family's privacy
180
00:08:41,754 --> 00:08:45,087
but Abed is an adult
and a U.S. citizen.
181
00:08:45,958 --> 00:08:46,947
Right?
Yeah.
182
00:08:47,159 --> 00:08:48,683
And he has the right to stay.
183
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,894
Fine.
184
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:54,260
You want to raise him?
You raise him, I'm out.
185
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:57,698
Wait, what?
You know, I had a father like you.
186
00:08:57,904 --> 00:09:00,532
And the day
I finally cut myself loose
187
00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:05,074
is the day
I finally started being happy.
188
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,240
That went well.
189
00:09:07,446 --> 00:09:08,936
I have to make some adjustments
to my film.
190
00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:11,378
Jeff, I think you should play
the role of my father.
191
00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:13,375
I don't want to be your father.
It's perfect,
192
00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:15,281
you already know your lines.
193
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,092
[###]
194
00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:25,796
Why are you dressed
like an '80s rapist?
195
00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:28,159
Professor Whitman
comes by here every morning
196
00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:31,928
and I need him to see me
celebrating life.
197
00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:36,263
What's all that?
I am calculating Abed's expenses.
198
00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:39,501
You know, there's books, there's
meals, he's renting that camera.
199
00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:42,977
He needs a little spending money.
Um... All money is spending money.
200
00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:45,616
Oh. Um, Britta, it's amazing
what you're doing for Abed.
201
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:48,343
I mean a lot of people
talk a good game, but you,
202
00:09:48,554 --> 00:09:50,385
you follow through.
203
00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:51,816
I love you.
204
00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:55,653
Shirley, thank you.
Bet that doesn't happen to you a lot.
205
00:09:55,861 --> 00:09:57,829
It happened yesterday.
Shirley's just doing her homework.
206
00:09:58,030 --> 00:10:00,521
Hillary,
thank you for getting people coffee.
207
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:02,394
I love you.
208
00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:08,667
Abed, how's it going, buddy?
Good, my film is coming together.
209
00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:11,468
Cool tie, Jeff, are you wearing that
because you're playing the role of my dad,
210
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:12,803
or is it really Christmas?
211
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:15,037
Definitely Christmas.
Is that a new camera?
212
00:10:15,247 --> 00:10:17,875
Yeah. It's more expensive but it lets
me adjust really specific settings
213
00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:20,018
that most people don't notice
or think about.
214
00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:23,655
Hi, I would like a latte,
and Jeff, let me get you something.
215
00:10:23,856 --> 00:10:25,619
I'm okay.
Oh, come on, I got you.
216
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:27,850
No, really, I don't need anything...
No, really. You're insulting me.
217
00:10:28,060 --> 00:10:32,394
Look at all this cash.
Okay. I will get a small, black coffee.
218
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:36,125
Boo. An ordinary coffee
for an ordinary life.
219
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:39,202
[CHEERFULLY]
Good morning, Professor Whitman.
220
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:43,032
Sorry, Mr. Winger,
these won't cut it.
221
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,777
Shazbat.
WHITMAN: I shall have...
222
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,708
A birthday cake.
223
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,445
[SNEEZES
IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
224
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,019
[CROWD LAUGHING]
225
00:11:00,526 --> 00:11:02,494
I've seen men in your situation,
Troy.
226
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,191
No, those are both for me.
227
00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:09,061
You were on top of the world before
and now no one gives a rat's ass.
228
00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:11,202
I can help you with your image.
229
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:14,373
First, I'd lose the jacket,
you look like a high school bitch.
230
00:11:14,573 --> 00:11:16,541
But more importantly,
it's your sneeze.
231
00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:21,008
When I was a CEO,
I had an array of masculine sneezes
232
00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:23,181
that asserted dominance.
233
00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:27,751
Like the explosive
shock-the-room-into-silence sneeze.
234
00:11:27,953 --> 00:11:30,217
[SNEEZES THEN YELLS]
235
00:11:30,956 --> 00:11:31,945
[SNIFFS]
236
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:35,616
Or, the draw them in sneeze,
you know.
237
00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:37,591
[PANTING]
238
00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:41,824
You know, maybe I wouldn't sneeze,
because I'm in control.
239
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:44,264
You can even use a sneeze
to drive home a point.
240
00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:47,405
Like, I think the Cubs
are gonna win it all this year.
241
00:11:47,606 --> 00:11:49,665
[SNEEZES THEN SNIFFS]
242
00:11:51,577 --> 00:11:52,874
What do you think?
243
00:11:54,313 --> 00:11:56,008
Tell me more.
244
00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:06,780
It's show time.
245
00:12:06,992 --> 00:12:08,960
[###]
246
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:11,894
Hey, everybody, good morning.
247
00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:14,896
Good morning, sir.
Good morning, Greendale.
248
00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:16,898
Hi, good morning.
249
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:19,003
Watch the kite. Uh-oh.
250
00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:21,097
Mind if I get a chance? Oh!
251
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:23,275
[CHILDREN & JEFF CHATTERING]
252
00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:27,310
[LAUGHS]
253
00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:29,344
Thanks, you guys, bring it in here.
Nice.
254
00:12:29,548 --> 00:12:32,847
Thank you so much, you guys,
that was really fun.
255
00:12:34,553 --> 00:12:35,850
Sloppy.
256
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:38,546
Considering the age of these girls,
unwittingly creepy.
257
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,487
Damn it.
258
00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:45,590
Beat it. Professor. Will you look at the
amount of work that I'm putting into this?
259
00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:47,095
I mean, throw me a bone.
260
00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:50,268
Had I not already cried
at the sunrise this morning,
261
00:12:50,469 --> 00:12:52,460
I would be weeping right now.
262
00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:55,970
What does that mean?
What do you mean, Jeff?
263
00:12:56,175 --> 00:12:57,870
What does your life mean?
264
00:12:58,077 --> 00:12:59,476
How long does it take you
in the morning
265
00:12:59,678 --> 00:13:01,236
to make it look like
you have bed-head?
266
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,574
How many sweatpants-
sports jacket combos
267
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:07,480
did you try before you found
the one that said, "I don't care?"
268
00:13:07,686 --> 00:13:10,450
Seize the day, Jeff. For real.
269
00:13:10,656 --> 00:13:13,887
Go running naked in a hail storm.
Kiss a girl in the middle of the day.
270
00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:16,254
Fly a kite, but do it for yourself.
271
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:19,329
Or you won't just fail my class,
272
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:20,931
you'll fail life.
273
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:23,235
[###]
274
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,270
Thank you.
275
00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:33,605
That guy's really got your number.
Drop the flower.
276
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,303
I need to talk to you about Abed.
277
00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:38,381
I went by his film class today,
he wasn't there, he's cutting.
278
00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:40,814
I wanna know why
he would do something like that.
279
00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:43,454
Ask him.
Every time I try to ask him about it,
280
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,089
he just keeps filming me
281
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,725
and telling me that I'm playing
the role of his mother.
282
00:13:47,927 --> 00:13:50,521
Abed is not normal.
283
00:13:50,729 --> 00:13:51,855
That's what you bought
284
00:13:52,064 --> 00:13:55,056
when you intentionally
tangled yourself in his life.
285
00:13:56,135 --> 00:13:58,660
Look, will you just...
Will you please talk to him?
286
00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:01,362
I've got problems of my own.
I'm out here trying to seize a day.
287
00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:07,741
What in the hell?
288
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,506
Is he gonna kill us?
289
00:14:14,486 --> 00:14:16,920
Thanks for the pizza, Abed,
I was starving.
290
00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:20,523
Yeah, it's nice, like a picnic.
Or a family dinner.
291
00:14:20,726 --> 00:14:23,695
It's a study group and a pizza,
let's not get carried away.
292
00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:26,326
[BRITTA CLEARS THROAT]
293
00:14:27,466 --> 00:14:28,933
[CLEARS THROAT]
294
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:32,301
So, Abed.
295
00:14:32,504 --> 00:14:34,335
How's film class?
Good.
296
00:14:35,507 --> 00:14:37,532
Yeah. Did you go to class today?
Not really.
297
00:14:37,743 --> 00:14:39,734
Not really. Well,
Britta's paying for those classes,
298
00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:41,276
don't you think
maybe you should go?
299
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,074
I was shooting my movie.
Your movie is for class.
300
00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:47,411
My movie's more important.
La-la-la.
301
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,554
Someone order seven lattes?
I got that.
302
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:53,047
No, You don't got it.
I got it, Abed.
303
00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:54,988
I got everything.
304
00:14:55,194 --> 00:14:58,220
What is wrong with you,
all I want to do is take care of you.
305
00:14:58,430 --> 00:15:01,024
I know you're not stupid,
are you doing this on purpose?
306
00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:07,568
Why won't you answer me?
This is the scene where you leave.
307
00:15:07,773 --> 00:15:11,231
You better believe it.
Britta.
308
00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:20,443
What do you think, Dad?
I think you are really weird, Abed.
309
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:23,251
And I think
the wrong person just left.
310
00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:24,820
[###]
311
00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:29,419
Perfect. That's a wrap.
312
00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:34,730
That guy was your dad?
313
00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:38,497
[DOOR OPENS]
314
00:15:38,704 --> 00:15:39,796
JEFF: Hey.
Hey.
315
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:42,763
You don't really have tickets
for Ravi Shankar, do you.
316
00:15:42,975 --> 00:15:45,842
I lied to get you here
because it's time to communicate.
317
00:15:46,045 --> 00:15:48,445
Communicate?
Have you met Abed?
318
00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:50,615
It's not the two of you
that need to talk.
319
00:15:50,816 --> 00:15:51,874
Hey, wait a minute,
320
00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:53,278
where's Weezer?
They're coming.
321
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,615
All right. Now, the only reason
why this whole mess got started
322
00:15:56,822 --> 00:15:59,154
is because both of you
wanted the best for Abed.
323
00:15:59,658 --> 00:16:02,183
And I think the lesson
we can all take away from this
324
00:16:02,394 --> 00:16:05,830
is that everyone should always do
whatever they want,
325
00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:08,192
and leave each other out of it.
326
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:12,433
Is that your take?
Let me give you mine.
327
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,505
You and your pillow-lipped girlfriend
got all up in my stuff
328
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:18,199
because you wanted to be cowboys,
and then you turned chicken
329
00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:21,004
when you found out it would
take more than speeches
330
00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:22,441
and guided missiles.
331
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,673
Interesting,
I hadn't seen the Iraq metaphor.
332
00:16:24,883 --> 00:16:28,614
What Iraq metaphor? I'm talking about
your speeches and her guided...
333
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,847
Got it. The point is,
is that Britta is sorry, right?
334
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:33,285
Wrong.
Crap.
335
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,084
Abed may not be
a great filmmaker
336
00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:37,387
but that doesn't mean
that he wants to make falafel.
337
00:16:37,596 --> 00:16:39,393
You need to let him
make his own decisions.
338
00:16:39,598 --> 00:16:42,897
Make his own decisions?
Have you met Abed? You know who he is?
339
00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:44,194
You have no...
JEFF: Guys.
340
00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:46,803
You're stupid.
I'm finished.
341
00:16:48,807 --> 00:16:50,331
Britta, Jeff, Dad.
342
00:16:55,414 --> 00:16:56,813
Dad.
343
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:05,755
[MUSIC PLAYS OVER COMPUTER]
344
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:08,256
[CHILDREN GIGGLING]
345
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:17,400
How's it going, buddy?
I don't want to be your father.
346
00:17:19,671 --> 00:17:21,696
[BAB Y CRIES]
347
00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:23,568
I think you are weird, Abed.
348
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:25,903
BRITTA: Hey, look.
I need to talk to you about Abed.
349
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:27,510
JEFF:
He's not normal.
350
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:30,580
[BAB Y CRYING]
351
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:33,775
What is wrong with you?
All I want to do is take care of you.
352
00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:37,184
Why will you not answer me?
353
00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:40,753
[HORSE NEIGHS]
354
00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:43,860
[BEEPING]
355
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,690
[EKG FLATLINING]
356
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,124
ABED:
What do you think, dad?
357
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:50,528
JEFF:
I think you are weird, Abed.
358
00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:53,604
And I think
the wrong person just left.
359
00:17:55,941 --> 00:17:57,238
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS
OVER COMPUTER]
360
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:01,708
It's not exactly Citizen Kane.
361
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,212
[ABED'S DAD SOBS]
362
00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:09,921
[###]
363
00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:17,429
[IN ARABIC]
364
00:18:27,706 --> 00:18:29,867
[IN ENGLISH]
I feel a little out of the loop here.
365
00:18:30,075 --> 00:18:32,168
[WHISPERING] That feeling is
called the joy of freedom.
366
00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:39,173
My son is hard to understand.
367
00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:44,448
If making movies help him
be understood,
368
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,388
then I pay for the class.
369
00:18:53,832 --> 00:18:54,924
[MOUTHS WORDS]
370
00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:56,327
[MOUTHING]
I made this all happen.
371
00:18:56,535 --> 00:18:59,299
With falafel as a fallback.
372
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:05,040
Abed.
Yeah?
373
00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:08,273
Did you do all of that to me
on purpose?
374
00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:12,206
That's not a very nice way
to treat your friends.
375
00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:15,443
Well, Britta,
it isn't called friend business,
376
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,645
it's called show business.
377
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:22,093
He's smoking.
Honey, let him leave the nest.
378
00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:24,362
[###]
379
00:19:25,197 --> 00:19:27,597
Get your hand off of my knee.
380
00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:34,671
[SNEEZES LOUDLY]
381
00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:35,931
God... God bless you.
382
00:19:36,141 --> 00:19:39,110
God bless you.
Thank you.
383
00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:43,113
BRITTA: For someone who doesn't
like getting involved, well,
384
00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:44,976
I owe you.
385
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,845
You owe me?
386
00:19:47,052 --> 00:19:49,543
That can not be comfortable for you.
387
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:52,622
Hey, um...
388
00:19:52,824 --> 00:19:55,486
You should kiss me right now.
389
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,963
Day seized!
390
00:20:08,173 --> 00:20:09,834
We're even.
Ha-ha-ha.
391
00:20:10,442 --> 00:20:11,534
A plus, Winger.
392
00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:15,179
I know a life-changing kiss
when I see one. Wowee!
393
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:18,508
[LAUGHS]
394
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,342
Yeah.
395
00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:22,451
Fooled you.
396
00:20:22,654 --> 00:20:24,622
[###]
397
00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:39,629
Am I krumping?
No.
398
00:20:39,838 --> 00:20:41,703
Am I krumping? Am I krumping?
No. No.
399
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,704
Am I krumping now?
400
00:20:44,209 --> 00:20:45,733
No.
401
00:20:46,111 --> 00:20:48,705
This is krumping.
402
00:21:02,527 --> 00:21:05,860
We... We're krumping.
No, you're not.
403
00:21:07,799 --> 00:21:11,394
[###]