1
00:00:16,859 --> 00:00:18,622
Hey, man. My name is Jeff.

2
00:00:18,828 --> 00:00:21,922
I'm trying to lock down the rest
of my schedule before the deadline.

3
00:00:22,131 --> 00:00:25,100
I heard this class was a cakewalk.
Are you passing it?

4
00:00:25,668 --> 00:00:27,932
Do you like Dane Cook?
Yeah, he's awesome.

5
00:00:28,137 --> 00:00:30,162
So far so good.

6
00:00:30,539 --> 00:00:33,975
<i>Death, so called</i>

7
00:00:34,176 --> 00:00:38,135
<i>Is a thing that makes men weep</i>

8
00:00:38,347 --> 00:00:44,013
<i>And yet a third of life
is spent in sleep.</i>

9
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:47,180
Open your text books to page 37.

10
00:00:50,359 --> 00:00:53,351
Now close them
and throw them away.

11
00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:58,258
Throw it away. Ha-ha-ha.

12
00:00:58,467 --> 00:00:59,695
Throw it away.

13
00:01:00,202 --> 00:01:02,693
For those who are new,
the motto of this class,

14
00:01:02,905 --> 00:01:07,842
carpe diem, seize the day,
no tests, no papers.

15
00:01:08,043 --> 00:01:09,101
You want an A?

16
00:01:09,311 --> 00:01:11,472
Live in

17
00:01:13,215 --> 00:01:14,739
the moment.

18
00:01:16,418 --> 00:01:17,680
Jackpot.

19
00:01:17,887 --> 00:01:19,912
Take off your shoes.
Quick, take off your shoes.

20
00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:21,714
Everyone, take your shoes off,
throw them away.

21
00:01:21,924 --> 00:01:23,221
Throw them across the room
over there.

22
00:01:23,425 --> 00:01:26,223
Today we learn to walk,
get up and walk out the door.

23
00:01:26,428 --> 00:01:28,623
This day could be your last.

24
00:01:28,831 --> 00:01:31,356
You could die in your sleep.
You could get hit by a bus.

25
00:01:31,567 --> 00:01:34,161
You, that mole is raised and dark,
it's not a good combo.

26
00:01:34,370 --> 00:01:37,567
You are new.
Yes, I'm new, but I'll be old too soon.

27
00:01:37,773 --> 00:01:40,241
Carpe diem, sir, carpe diem.

28
00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:42,804
I like it!

29
00:01:43,012 --> 00:01:44,240
Voice command.

30
00:01:46,649 --> 00:01:47,843
Voice command.

31
00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:49,712
Voice command.

32
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:51,677
Voice command.

33
00:01:52,855 --> 00:01:54,322
Voice command.

34
00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:59,523
Voice comm...

35
00:02:00,596 --> 00:02:02,359
Would you please use the buttons?

36
00:02:03,566 --> 00:02:05,534
Okay, grandpa.

37
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:09,226
Achoo!
Oh. God bless you, dear.

38
00:02:11,140 --> 00:02:13,370
What's so funny?
You guys, I found it.

39
00:02:13,576 --> 00:02:15,066
The ultimate blow-off class.

40
00:02:15,277 --> 00:02:18,474
<i>Professor Whitman, he thinks he's
in Dead Poets Society.</i>

41
00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:23,175
There's no tests, there's no work,
it's just day seizing.

44
00:02:29,225 --> 00:02:31,420
I'm in.
Me too, it sounds educational.

45
00:02:32,494 --> 00:02:34,519
I'll do it, I love Robin Williams.
Abed?

46
00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:36,288
Not a fan. In every movie,
there's an authority figure

47
00:02:36,498 --> 00:02:37,863
that gets mad at him
for making people laugh.

48
00:02:38,067 --> 00:02:40,467
No, are you going to take the class?
Oh, can't.

49
00:02:40,669 --> 00:02:43,729
My dad will only pay for classes that
will help me run the family restaurant.

50
00:02:43,939 --> 00:02:47,568
It's been struggling since 2001, 9/11 was
pretty much the 9/11 of the falafel business.

51
00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:50,609
So your dad has your whole life
planned out for you?

52
00:02:50,813 --> 00:02:54,078
Are you even interested in falafel?
I'm interested in making movies.

53
00:02:54,283 --> 00:02:57,480
But my Dad says all media's western
propaganda that negatively stereotypes Arabs.

54
00:02:57,686 --> 00:02:59,779
<i>Then he should see Aladdin,
Jafar was a badass.</i>

55
00:02:59,989 --> 00:03:01,456
Yes, he was.
Yeah.

56
00:03:01,657 --> 00:03:02,783
He was.

57
00:03:02,992 --> 00:03:05,119
Abed,
how much does a film class cost?

58
00:03:05,327 --> 00:03:06,988
Seventy dollars.

59
00:03:08,964 --> 00:03:11,262
Britta?
Jeff?

60
00:03:12,034 --> 00:03:15,299
Britta.
Isn't Abed's dad a hardcore Muslim?

61
00:03:15,504 --> 00:03:16,698
They're not as understanding
as Christians.

62
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,304
You could get your head cut off
with a salami sword.

63
00:03:18,507 --> 00:03:22,068
Shirley, that's the most racist thing
I've ever heard.

64
00:03:22,278 --> 00:03:24,803
Pierce will beat that in one minute.

65
00:03:28,617 --> 00:03:30,585
This is really nice of you.

66
00:03:30,786 --> 00:03:33,118
The memo says, "For dreams."
Aw.

67
00:03:33,322 --> 00:03:35,415
You guys,
are we going to study Spanish,

68
00:03:35,624 --> 00:03:37,990
or keep getting involved
in each other's personal lives?

69
00:03:38,193 --> 00:03:40,855
Achoo!
Hey, Troy sneezes like a girl.

70
00:03:41,063 --> 00:03:43,930
How about I pound you like a boy?
That didn't come out right.

71
00:03:44,133 --> 00:03:46,863
Why don't you leave him alone
with his cute baby sneezes.

72
00:03:47,069 --> 00:03:49,594
You're not my mother.
She's not?

73
00:03:50,506 --> 00:03:51,495
Twenty-nine seconds.

74
00:04:20,881 --> 00:04:22,974
What's your name?
My name is Shirley Bennett.

75
00:04:23,183 --> 00:04:24,980
Shirley, you get an A, Oh.

76
00:04:25,185 --> 00:04:27,745
If you can tell me
why you are here at Greendale.

77
00:04:29,122 --> 00:04:30,885
What did I tell you?

78
00:04:31,491 --> 00:04:33,322
Okay, but, uh, never again.

79
00:04:33,527 --> 00:04:34,619
Shirley?

80
00:04:34,828 --> 00:04:37,490
To get a degree in business
so I can sell my baked goods

81
00:04:37,697 --> 00:04:39,164
and whatnot on the Internet.

82
00:04:39,399 --> 00:04:41,560
Why are you here?

83
00:04:42,102 --> 00:04:45,435
To get a degree in business so I can sell
my baked goods and whatnot on the Internet.

84
00:04:45,639 --> 00:04:47,300
Why are you here?

85
00:04:48,975 --> 00:04:50,670
Because I wasted 15 years
of my life

86
00:04:50,877 --> 00:04:52,572
on a man who left me
with nothing but stretch marks

87
00:04:52,779 --> 00:04:54,269
and a foggy memory
of two bland orgasms.

88
00:04:54,481 --> 00:04:56,608
And now it's time to get
what's mine.

89
00:04:56,817 --> 00:04:58,751
Day seized.

90
00:05:01,288 --> 00:05:06,316
Only when we stop stopping our lives
can we begin to start starting them.

91
00:05:06,526 --> 00:05:08,357
Ms. Edison here, for example,

92
00:05:08,562 --> 00:05:11,656
would rather write what happens
to other people than live

93
00:05:11,865 --> 00:05:13,264
what is happening to her.

94
00:05:13,467 --> 00:05:16,800
I thought there might be a quiz.
Well, here's a quiz for you.

95
00:05:17,003 --> 00:05:19,938
Why did the pretty young girl
die alone,

96
00:05:20,140 --> 00:05:21,937
surrounded
by sweater-wearing cats

97
00:05:22,142 --> 00:05:23,973
who were trained
to use human toilets?

98
00:05:25,679 --> 00:05:27,476
Get up on your desk.

99
00:05:29,316 --> 00:05:31,113
Come on, stand on your desk.

100
00:05:31,318 --> 00:05:32,615
Up on your desk.

101
00:05:33,386 --> 00:05:35,251
She made it. Ha-ha.

102
00:05:35,455 --> 00:05:37,446
Everyone, stand on your desks.

103
00:05:37,657 --> 00:05:39,181
Up, up, up. Come on.

104
00:05:39,392 --> 00:05:42,361
Rise, rise,
rise above the programming.

105
00:05:42,562 --> 00:05:45,326
All your lives you were told
don't stand on your desk.

106
00:05:45,532 --> 00:05:47,363
Well, why not?

107
00:05:50,570 --> 00:05:53,403
She's okay, go to the nurse,
seize the day.

108
00:05:54,174 --> 00:05:57,007
You know, I was very moved
by your honesty earlier.

109
00:05:58,111 --> 00:06:02,070
Particularly the part about,
uh, your husband not being...

110
00:06:02,282 --> 00:06:04,182
Your homework. Ah.

111
00:06:04,384 --> 00:06:05,351
Oh.

112
00:06:05,552 --> 00:06:09,010
I want you to swim in a lake and
tell 10 people that you love them.

113
00:06:10,757 --> 00:06:13,726
Mr. Winger,
may I have a word, please?

114
00:06:14,261 --> 00:06:16,661
Are you okay?
Oh. Oh, maybe, I'm not.

115
00:06:17,764 --> 00:06:20,665
Hi, Mr. Winger,
I like to think that every life

116
00:06:20,867 --> 00:06:22,892
that passes through this class
is changed.

117
00:06:23,103 --> 00:06:25,594
But every year, there's
always one cocky opportunist

118
00:06:25,805 --> 00:06:27,864
who's just here to coast
and grab an easy A.

119
00:06:28,074 --> 00:06:29,939
Oh, yeah.

120
00:06:30,143 --> 00:06:32,441
His name is Pierce,
I can talk to him for you.

121
00:06:32,646 --> 00:06:34,511
It's actually you, Mr. Winger.

122
00:06:34,714 --> 00:06:36,944
You have no intention
of seizing the day.

123
00:06:37,150 --> 00:06:41,052
What? Listen, l...
I have never lived until I met you.

124
00:06:41,254 --> 00:06:45,020
L... I love you.
There's one down, nine to go.

125
00:06:45,225 --> 00:06:47,090
Not that I need the grade
or even want it.

126
00:06:47,294 --> 00:06:50,457
Well, glad to hear it, because
if you don't genuinely seize the day

127
00:06:50,664 --> 00:06:52,097
before the end of the week,

128
00:06:52,299 --> 00:06:54,699
then you will be seizing an F
for the semester.

129
00:06:58,171 --> 00:07:00,901
This is no way to teach accounting.

130
00:07:01,107 --> 00:07:05,441
I have to plan in advance how to
prove that I live in the moment.

131
00:07:05,645 --> 00:07:08,842
I'd rather take an actual class,
but now it's too late to drop or add.

132
00:07:09,049 --> 00:07:12,348
It is not fair how hard it is
for you to cheat here.

133
00:07:13,353 --> 00:07:16,447
Hah! Hey, how's it going?
How's your film class, buddy?

134
00:07:16,656 --> 00:07:18,624
It's cool. Our first
assignment is a documentary.

135
00:07:18,825 --> 00:07:20,452
They're like real movies
but with ugly people.

136
00:07:20,660 --> 00:07:22,594
I'm learning a lot.
That is so wonderful.

137
00:07:22,796 --> 00:07:25,560
Some people don't like getting involved
in others' lives. I think it's great.

138
00:07:25,765 --> 00:07:29,030
Hey, if you're making a documentary about
Britta patting herself on the back,

139
00:07:29,235 --> 00:07:30,463
you're gonna need
a backup battery.

140
00:07:30,670 --> 00:07:32,137
Actually,
I'm doing a movie about my dad.

141
00:07:32,339 --> 00:07:35,308
That is brilliant. How did he react
to you signing up for the film class?

142
00:07:35,508 --> 00:07:37,305
That part hasn't happened yet.
Here he comes.

143
00:07:37,510 --> 00:07:40,343
Hey, you want to get involved
in my family's business?

144
00:07:40,914 --> 00:07:42,381
Holy war.

145
00:07:42,582 --> 00:07:44,277
Where do I find Mr. Britta?

146
00:07:45,251 --> 00:07:46,309
I'm Mr. Britta.

147
00:07:46,519 --> 00:07:48,953
That's right,
I'm a woman with rights.

148
00:07:49,155 --> 00:07:51,419
And you can see my whole face.

149
00:07:51,625 --> 00:07:55,152
Oh. I get it, because I'm Arab
I must hate women.

150
00:07:55,362 --> 00:07:57,557
Let me tell you something.
I love women.

151
00:07:57,764 --> 00:08:00,892
But I'm getting a major B-word vibe
from you.

152
00:08:01,101 --> 00:08:03,797
Ow, I can't believe I missed out
on getting involved in this.

153
00:08:04,004 --> 00:08:06,734
<i>You go host American Idol,
and you stop messing with my son.</i>

154
00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:07,964
He is a special boy.

155
00:08:08,174 --> 00:08:10,142
I raise him. You don't.
Raising him

156
00:08:10,343 --> 00:08:13,471
means letting him follow dreams.
Dreams are for sleeping.

157
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:15,341
You don't know that.
It's clinically proven.

158
00:08:15,548 --> 00:08:17,573
So is polio.
You lost me.

159
00:08:17,784 --> 00:08:20,014
Abed wants to study film.

160
00:08:22,255 --> 00:08:24,189
What's he saying?
He says we're leaving.

161
00:08:24,391 --> 00:08:26,120
Tell him you wanna stay
and study film.

162
00:08:26,326 --> 00:08:28,385
I don't think I'm really in the scene.
See?

163
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:31,359
It's hard to talk to him before,
now we have this between us.

164
00:08:31,564 --> 00:08:32,690
Let's go.
Hey. Hey.

165
00:08:33,533 --> 00:08:34,522
Don't touch me.

166
00:08:34,734 --> 00:08:36,759
You... You don't touch me.
Stop.

167
00:08:36,970 --> 00:08:40,701
Sir, you have a right to your faith
and your family's privacy

168
00:08:40,907 --> 00:08:44,240
but Abed is an adult
and a U.S. citizen.

169
00:08:45,111 --> 00:08:46,100
Right?
Yeah.

170
00:08:46,312 --> 00:08:47,836
And he has the right to stay.

171
00:08:48,682 --> 00:08:50,047
Fine.

172
00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:53,413
You want to raise him?
You raise him, I'm out.

173
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,851
Wait, what?
You know, I had a father like you.

174
00:08:57,057 --> 00:08:59,685
And the day
I finally cut myself loose

175
00:08:59,893 --> 00:09:04,227
is the day
I finally started being happy.

176
00:09:04,698 --> 00:09:06,393
That went well.

177
00:09:06,599 --> 00:09:08,089
I have to make some adjustments
to my film.

178
00:09:08,301 --> 00:09:10,531
Jeff, I think you should play
the role of my father.

179
00:09:10,970 --> 00:09:12,528
I don't want to be your father.
It's perfect,

180
00:09:12,739 --> 00:09:14,434
you already know your lines.

181
00:09:22,082 --> 00:09:24,949
Why are you dressed
like an '80s rapist?

182
00:09:25,151 --> 00:09:27,312
Professor Whitman
comes by here every morning

183
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:31,081
and I need him to see me
celebrating life.

184
00:09:31,958 --> 00:09:35,416
What's all that?
I am calculating Abed's expenses.

185
00:09:35,628 --> 00:09:38,654
You know, there's books, there's
meals, he's renting that camera.

186
00:09:38,865 --> 00:09:42,130
He needs a little spending money.
Um... All money is spending money.

187
00:09:42,335 --> 00:09:44,769
Oh. Um, Britta, it's amazing
what you're doing for Abed.

188
00:09:44,971 --> 00:09:47,496
I mean a lot of people
talk a good game, but you,

189
00:09:47,707 --> 00:09:49,538
you follow through.

190
00:09:49,809 --> 00:09:50,969
I love you.

191
00:09:51,177 --> 00:09:54,806
Shirley, thank you.
Bet that doesn't happen to you a lot.

192
00:09:55,014 --> 00:09:56,982
It happened yesterday.
Shirley's just doing her homework.

193
00:09:57,183 --> 00:09:59,674
Hillary,
thank you for getting people coffee.

194
00:09:59,886 --> 00:10:01,547
I love you.

195
00:10:04,157 --> 00:10:07,820
Abed, how's it going, buddy?
Good, my film is coming together.

196
00:10:08,027 --> 00:10:10,621
Cool tie, Jeff, are you wearing that
because you're playing the role of my dad,

197
00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:11,956
or is it really Christmas?

198
00:10:12,165 --> 00:10:14,190
Definitely Christmas.
Is that a new camera?

199
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,028
Yeah. It's more expensive but it lets
me adjust really specific settings

200
00:10:17,237 --> 00:10:19,171
that most people don't notice
or think about.

201
00:10:19,372 --> 00:10:22,808
Hi, I would like a latte,
and Jeff, let me get you something.

202
00:10:23,009 --> 00:10:24,772
I'm okay.
Oh, come on, I got you.

203
00:10:24,978 --> 00:10:27,003
No, really, I don't need anything...
No, really. You're insulting me.

204
00:10:27,213 --> 00:10:31,547
Look at all this cash.
Okay. I will get a small, black coffee.

205
00:10:31,751 --> 00:10:35,278
Boo. An ordinary coffee
for an ordinary life.

206
00:10:35,955 --> 00:10:38,355
Good morning, Professor Whitman.

207
00:10:39,125 --> 00:10:42,185
Sorry, Mr. Winger,
these won't cut it.

208
00:10:42,962 --> 00:10:44,930
<i>Shazbat.
I shall have...</i>

209
00:10:48,802 --> 00:10:50,861
A birthday cake.

210
00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:01,647
I've seen men in your situation,
Troy.

211
00:11:02,649 --> 00:11:04,344
No, those are both for me.

212
00:11:05,051 --> 00:11:08,214
You were on top of the world before
and now no one gives a rat's ass.

213
00:11:08,421 --> 00:11:10,355
I can help you with your image.

214
00:11:10,557 --> 00:11:13,526
First, I'd lose the jacket,
you look like a high school bitch.

215
00:11:13,726 --> 00:11:15,694
But more importantly,
it's your sneeze.

216
00:11:15,895 --> 00:11:20,161
When I was a CEO,
I had an array of masculine sneezes

217
00:11:20,366 --> 00:11:22,334
that asserted dominance.

218
00:11:22,535 --> 00:11:26,904
Like the explosive
shock-the-room-into-silence sneeze.

219
00:11:31,311 --> 00:11:34,769
Or, the draw them in sneeze,
you know.

220
00:11:36,950 --> 00:11:40,977
You know, maybe I wouldn't sneeze,
because I'm in control.

221
00:11:41,187 --> 00:11:43,417
You can even use a sneeze
to drive home a point.

222
00:11:43,623 --> 00:11:46,558
Like, I think the Cubs
are gonna win it all this year.

223
00:11:50,730 --> 00:11:52,027
What do you think?

224
00:11:53,466 --> 00:11:55,161
Tell me more.

225
00:12:04,944 --> 00:12:05,933
It's show time.

226
00:12:09,716 --> 00:12:11,047
Hey, everybody, good morning.

227
00:12:11,251 --> 00:12:14,049
Good morning, sir.
Good morning, Greendale.

228
00:12:14,254 --> 00:12:16,051
Hi, good morning.

229
00:12:16,256 --> 00:12:18,156
Watch the kite. Uh-oh.

230
00:12:18,658 --> 00:12:20,250
Mind if I get a chance? Oh!

231
00:12:26,666 --> 00:12:28,497
Thanks, you guys, bring it in here.
Nice.

232
00:12:28,701 --> 00:12:32,000
Thank you so much, you guys,
that was really fun.

233
00:12:33,706 --> 00:12:35,003
Sloppy.

234
00:12:35,208 --> 00:12:37,699
Considering the age of these girls,
unwittingly creepy.

235
00:12:37,911 --> 00:12:39,640
Damn it.

236
00:12:41,114 --> 00:12:44,743
Beat it. Professor. Will you look at the
amount of work that I'm putting into this?

237
00:12:44,951 --> 00:12:46,248
I mean, throw me a bone.

238
00:12:46,452 --> 00:12:49,421
Had I not already cried
at the sunrise this morning,

239
00:12:49,622 --> 00:12:51,613
I would be weeping right now.

240
00:12:51,824 --> 00:12:55,123
What does that mean?
What do you mean, Jeff?

241
00:12:55,328 --> 00:12:57,023
What does your life mean?

242
00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:58,629
How long does it take you
in the morning

243
00:12:58,831 --> 00:13:00,389
to make it look like
you have bed-head?

244
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,727
How many sweatpants-
sports jacket combos

245
00:13:02,936 --> 00:13:06,633
did you try before you found
the one that said, "I don't care?"

246
00:13:06,839 --> 00:13:09,603
Seize the day, Jeff. For real.

247
00:13:09,809 --> 00:13:13,040
Go running naked in a hail storm.
Kiss a girl in the middle of the day.

248
00:13:13,246 --> 00:13:15,407
Fly a kite, but do it for yourself.

249
00:13:15,615 --> 00:13:18,482
Or you won't just fail my class,

250
00:13:18,685 --> 00:13:20,084
you'll fail life.

251
00:13:27,126 --> 00:13:28,423
Thank you.

252
00:13:30,096 --> 00:13:32,758
That guy's really got your number.
Drop the flower.

253
00:13:32,966 --> 00:13:34,456
I need to talk to you about Abed.

254
00:13:34,667 --> 00:13:37,534
I went by his film class today,
he wasn't there, he's cutting.

255
00:13:37,737 --> 00:13:39,967
I wanna know why
he would do something like that.

256
00:13:40,173 --> 00:13:42,607
Ask him.
Every time I try to ask him about it,

257
00:13:42,809 --> 00:13:44,242
he just keeps filming me

258
00:13:44,444 --> 00:13:46,878
and telling me that I'm playing
the role of his mother.

259
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,674
Abed is not normal.

260
00:13:49,882 --> 00:13:51,008
That's what you bought

261
00:13:51,217 --> 00:13:54,209
when you intentionally
tangled yourself in his life.

262
00:13:55,288 --> 00:13:57,813
Look, will you just...
Will you please talk to him?

263
00:13:58,024 --> 00:14:00,515
I've got problems of my own.
I'm out here trying to seize a day.

264
00:14:05,131 --> 00:14:06,894
What in the hell?

265
00:14:08,668 --> 00:14:10,659
Is he gonna kill us?

266
00:14:13,639 --> 00:14:16,073
Thanks for the pizza, Abed,
I was starving.

267
00:14:16,275 --> 00:14:19,676
Yeah, it's nice, like a picnic.
Or a family dinner.

268
00:14:19,879 --> 00:14:22,848
It's a study group and a pizza,
let's not get carried away.

269
00:14:29,122 --> 00:14:31,454
So, Abed.

270
00:14:31,657 --> 00:14:33,488
How's film class?
Good.

271
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,685
Yeah. Did you go to class today?
Not really.

272
00:14:36,896 --> 00:14:38,887
Not really. Well,
Britta's paying for those classes,

273
00:14:39,098 --> 00:14:40,429
don't you think
maybe you should go?

274
00:14:40,633 --> 00:14:43,227
I was shooting my movie.
Your movie is for class.

275
00:14:43,436 --> 00:14:46,564
My movie's more important.
La-la-la.

276
00:14:46,773 --> 00:14:48,707
Someone order seven lattes?
I got that.

277
00:14:49,208 --> 00:14:52,200
No, You don't got it.
I got it, Abed.

278
00:14:52,412 --> 00:14:54,141
I got everything.

279
00:14:54,347 --> 00:14:57,373
What is wrong with you,
all I want to do is take care of you.

280
00:14:57,583 --> 00:15:00,177
I know you're not stupid,
are you doing this on purpose?

281
00:15:03,456 --> 00:15:06,721
Why won't you answer me?
This is the scene where you leave.

282
00:15:06,926 --> 00:15:10,384
You better believe it.
Britta.

283
00:15:15,535 --> 00:15:19,596
What do you think, Dad?
I think you are really weird, Abed.

284
00:15:20,106 --> 00:15:22,404
And I think
the wrong person just left.

285
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:28,572
Perfect. That's a wrap.

286
00:15:32,518 --> 00:15:33,883
That guy was your dad?

287
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:39,488
Hey.
Hey.

288
00:15:39,964 --> 00:15:42,644
You don't really have tickets
for Ravi Shankar, do you?

289
00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:45,534
I lied to get you here
because it's time to communicate.

290
00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:48,137
Communicate?
Have you met Abed?

291
00:15:48,339 --> 00:15:50,307
It's not the two of you
that need to talk.

292
00:15:50,508 --> 00:15:51,566
Hey, wait a minute,

293
00:15:51,776 --> 00:15:52,970
where's Weezer?
They're coming.

294
00:15:53,645 --> 00:15:56,307
All right. Now, the only reason
why this whole mess got started

295
00:15:56,514 --> 00:15:58,846
is because both of you
wanted the best for Abed.

296
00:15:59,350 --> 00:16:01,875
And I think the lesson
we can all take away from this

297
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:05,522
is that everyone should always do
whatever they want,

298
00:16:05,723 --> 00:16:07,884
and leave each other out of it.

299
00:16:09,327 --> 00:16:12,125
Is that your take?
Let me give you mine.

300
00:16:12,330 --> 00:16:15,197
You and your pillow-lipped girlfriend
got all up in my stuff

301
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,891
because you wanted to be cowboys,
and then you turned chicken

302
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:20,696
when you found out it would
take more than speeches

303
00:16:20,905 --> 00:16:22,133
and guided missiles.

304
00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:24,365
Interesting,
I hadn't seen the Iraq metaphor.

305
00:16:24,575 --> 00:16:28,306
What Iraq metaphor? I'm talking about
your speeches and her guided...

306
00:16:28,513 --> 00:16:31,539
Got it. The point is,
is that Britta is sorry, right?

307
00:16:31,749 --> 00:16:32,977
Wrong.
Crap.

308
00:16:33,184 --> 00:16:34,776
Abed may not be
a great filmmaker

309
00:16:34,986 --> 00:16:37,079
but that doesn't mean
that he wants to make falafel.

310
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:39,085
You need to let him
make his own decisions.

311
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:42,589
Make his own decisions?
Have you met Abed? You know who he is?

312
00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:43,886
You have no...
Guys.

313
00:16:44,095 --> 00:16:46,495
You're stupid.
I'm finished.

314
00:16:48,499 --> 00:16:50,023
Britta, Jeff, Dad.

315
00:16:55,106 --> 00:16:56,505
Dad.

316
00:17:13,725 --> 00:17:17,092
<i>How's it going, buddy?
I don't want to be your father.</i>

317
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:23,260
<i>I think you are weird, Abed.</i>

318
00:17:23,468 --> 00:17:25,595
<i>Hey, look.
I need to talk to you about Abed.</i>

319
00:17:25,803 --> 00:17:27,202
<i>He's not normal.</i>

320
00:17:30,475 --> 00:17:33,467
<i>What is wrong with you?
All I want to do is take care of you.</i>

321
00:17:35,113 --> 00:17:36,876
<i>Why will you not answer me?</i>

322
00:17:45,757 --> 00:17:47,816
<i>What do you think, dad?</i>

323
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,220
<i>I think you are weird, Abed.</i>

324
00:17:50,828 --> 00:17:53,296
<i>And I think
the wrong person just left.</i>

325
00:17:59,637 --> 00:18:01,400
<i>It's not exactly Citizen Kane.</i>

326
00:18:27,398 --> 00:18:29,559
I feel a little out of the loop here.

327
00:18:29,767 --> 00:18:31,860
That feeling is
called the joy of freedom.

328
00:18:37,341 --> 00:18:38,865
My son is hard to understand.

329
00:18:40,044 --> 00:18:44,140
If making movies help him
be understood,

330
00:18:44,816 --> 00:18:47,080
then I pay for the class.

331
00:18:54,859 --> 00:18:56,019
<i>I made this all happen.</i>

332
00:18:56,227 --> 00:18:58,991
With falafel as a fallback.

333
00:19:03,401 --> 00:19:04,732
Abed.
Yeah?

334
00:19:05,303 --> 00:19:07,965
Did you do all of that to me
on purpose?

335
00:19:09,373 --> 00:19:11,898
That's not a very nice way
to treat your friends.

336
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:15,135
Well, Britta,
it isn't called friend business,

337
00:19:15,346 --> 00:19:17,337
it's called show business.

338
00:19:17,849 --> 00:19:21,785
He's smoking.
Honey, let him leave the nest.

339
00:19:24,889 --> 00:19:27,289
Get your hand off of my knee.

340
00:19:34,565 --> 00:19:35,623
God... God bless you.

341
00:19:35,833 --> 00:19:38,802
God bless you.
Thank you.

342
00:19:39,904 --> 00:19:42,805
For someone who doesn't
like getting involved, well,

343
00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:44,668
I owe you.

344
00:19:44,876 --> 00:19:46,537
You owe me?

345
00:19:46,744 --> 00:19:49,235
That can not be comfortable for you.

346
00:19:49,447 --> 00:19:52,314
Hey, um...

347
00:19:52,516 --> 00:19:55,178
You should kiss me right now.

348
00:20:05,630 --> 00:20:07,655
Day seized!

349
00:20:07,865 --> 00:20:09,526
We're even.
Ha-ha-ha.

350
00:20:10,134 --> 00:20:11,226
A plus, Winger.

351
00:20:11,435 --> 00:20:14,871
I know a life-changing kiss
when I see one. Wowee!

352
00:20:18,476 --> 00:20:20,034
Yeah.

353
00:20:20,278 --> 00:20:22,143
Fooled you.

354
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:39,596
Am I krumping?
No.

355
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:41,670
Am I krumping? Am I krumping?
No. No.

356
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,671
Am I krumping now?

357
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:45,700
No.

358
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,672
This is krumping.

359
00:21:02,494 --> 00:21:05,827
We... We're krumping.
No, you're not.