1
00:00:01,250 --> 00:00:03,835
Before we wrap up,
I would like to thank you guys

2
00:00:03,836 --> 00:00:06,836
for filling out these
anonymous evaluation cards.

3
00:00:06,837 --> 00:00:10,857
I found your feedback to be
largely constructive and flattering.

4
00:00:10,858 --> 00:00:12,668
- So, gracias Abed.
- De nada.

5
00:00:12,669 --> 00:00:13,872
You don't have to sign
your name anymore.

6
00:00:13,873 --> 00:00:14,519
Got it.

7
00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:22,652
But there was one evaluation
that was so harsh, and hurtful, and racist...

8
00:00:22,653 --> 00:00:28,742
that I took the time personally to analyze
that handwriting against past exams.

9
00:00:29,325 --> 00:00:32,267
And this particular coward...

10
00:00:32,697 --> 00:00:38,420
dots her i's with tiny,
itty-bitty, little circles.

11
00:00:38,652 --> 00:00:41,385
Boop. Boop.

12
00:00:41,415 --> 00:00:44,485
Isn't that precious and cute?

13
00:00:45,808 --> 00:00:50,125
Who's erratic and unstable
now, princess gringa?

14
00:00:54,502 --> 00:00:57,537
- Nice day out today, isn't it?
- Yeah. Shoot!

15
00:00:59,609 --> 00:01:01,585
- You forget something?
- Yeah.

16
00:01:01,586 --> 00:01:03,947
I forgot to stagger the timing
of my exit with Shirley's.

17
00:01:03,948 --> 00:01:06,011
We both have a class
across campus, and I can't go

18
00:01:06,012 --> 00:01:08,518
that kind of distance
with "ooh, that's nice."

19
00:01:08,519 --> 00:01:10,986
- That's mean.
- No. That's not nice.

20
00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:13,480
I find Shirley very easy to talk to.

21
00:01:13,481 --> 00:01:17,195
And besides, aren't you supposed to have,
like, an olympic gold medal in jibber-jabber?

22
00:01:17,223 --> 00:01:19,186
Yeah, but I'm a sprinter.

23
00:01:19,187 --> 00:01:21,705
I'm at my best during
high-speed bursts of wit.

24
00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:24,804
On a Shirley walk, I'd be winded
by that stoner tree.

25
00:01:24,805 --> 00:01:27,015
Hey, Britta. Hi!
What's up?!

26
00:01:27,016 --> 00:01:29,590
- Hey, Vaughn, how's it going?
- No worries.

27
00:01:29,591 --> 00:01:33,619
Interesting. 'Cause I might be worried if I
was playing hacky sack a decade too late.

28
00:01:33,643 --> 00:01:35,830
- My class is that way.
- All right.

29
00:01:35,831 --> 00:01:38,750
But I just wanted to point out that
we easily walked more than 100 yards

30
00:01:38,751 --> 00:01:42,977
with no awkward pauses. And
that is the sign of a true friend, so...

31
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:46,878
I'm really glad that you're
not hitting on me anymore.

32
00:01:47,314 --> 00:01:49,277
There's the awkward pause.

33
00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:54,649
Sync, corrected by vNaru

34
00:01:54,796 --> 00:01:56,429
Excuse me! Oh, sorry, ladies.

35
00:01:56,624 --> 00:01:58,722
Professor Duncan!
Professor Duncan!

36
00:01:59,384 --> 00:02:00,609
Oh, sorry.

37
00:02:00,610 --> 00:02:03,000
- Annie Edison. I'm in your 101 lecture.
- Hello.

38
00:02:03,001 --> 00:02:04,778
I've heard about your special psych lab.

39
00:02:04,779 --> 00:02:06,905
- The Duncan Principle.
- Yes.

40
00:02:06,906 --> 00:02:08,711
And I know it's limited
to second-year students,

41
00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:11,959
but I had a 4.0 at Riverside High,
and I'm not looking down

44
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,526
But they actually made me lose
my scholarship and virginity.

45
00:02:19,805 --> 00:02:21,428
- Right.
- If you would let me take your lab early,

46
00:02:21,429 --> 00:02:23,601
it would be a real feather
in my transcript.

47
00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:26,105
Okay, I've actually been
in this situation many times,

48
00:02:26,106 --> 00:02:27,740
so I'm just going to be up front.

49
00:02:27,770 --> 00:02:30,073
I'm not allowed to date students.

50
00:02:30,330 --> 00:02:32,097
Even though you're an eight.

51
00:02:32,359 --> 00:02:35,361
Which is a British ten, so I'm angry.

52
00:02:35,403 --> 00:02:37,939
But if, in spite of that,
you are still interested,

53
00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:39,840
then you may join the lab.

54
00:02:40,235 --> 00:02:43,166
Okay. You need to bring
two human subjects.

55
00:02:43,167 --> 00:02:48,130
And it would not hurt your chances one
bit if you could lend me a fiver.

56
00:02:48,131 --> 00:02:51,702
I seem to have left my purse in my duffle
and my duffle in the boot of my lorry, so...

57
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:54,663
I asked politely, and then
panda took his pants off...

58
00:02:56,053 --> 00:02:58,975
I never even knew
that's what asexual meant.

59
00:02:58,976 --> 00:03:01,497
I wonder what this
express package could be?

60
00:03:01,498 --> 00:03:03,798
Somebody had to get
something to me very fast.

61
00:03:03,805 --> 00:03:05,906
You brought your mail to campus?

62
00:03:05,907 --> 00:03:08,316
Oh, yes. My ear-noculars.

63
00:03:08,317 --> 00:03:10,416
What is that? It looks like
your bluetooth thingie.

64
00:03:10,417 --> 00:03:13,381
No, no, no, no, no.
This is my cell phone headset.

65
00:03:13,382 --> 00:03:18,849
And this is 'ear-noculars'.

66
00:03:18,885 --> 00:03:20,890
It's for spies and whatnot.
It gives you sonic hearing.

67
00:03:20,891 --> 00:03:22,810
- All hearing is sonic.
- What's that?

68
00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:25,560
So, who wants to be
in a psych experiment?

69
00:03:25,561 --> 00:03:27,226
Hey, guys, guys, guys?

70
00:03:27,227 --> 00:03:30,692
Annie is talking about
some kind of experiment.

71
00:03:30,858 --> 00:03:33,138
She's behind you.
Not interested.

72
00:03:33,139 --> 00:03:35,097
Please? You get paid.

73
00:03:35,098 --> 00:03:37,917
- Do they do stuff to your butt?
- No.

74
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,680
Do you get paid more if they
do stuff to your butt?

75
00:03:40,681 --> 00:03:43,115
- No.
- That's fine, I'll do it. I'm in.

76
00:03:43,895 --> 00:03:45,566
How about you, Abed?
It's tomorrow.

77
00:03:45,567 --> 00:03:48,554
Tomorrow? They're showing all four
Indiana Jones at the vista.

78
00:03:48,555 --> 00:03:51,399
I'm really looking forward
to the first three. I bought a whip.

79
00:03:51,827 --> 00:03:54,014
This is really important to me, Abed.

80
00:03:54,015 --> 00:03:56,529
Could you please go as my friend?

81
00:03:56,530 --> 00:03:57,871
My really good friend?

82
00:03:57,872 --> 00:03:59,586
I didn't realize we were
really good friends.

83
00:03:59,587 --> 00:04:01,260
I figured we were more
like Chandler and Phoebe.

84
00:04:01,261 --> 00:04:03,202
They never really
had stories together.

85
00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:05,671
Sure, I'll do it, Chandler.

86
00:04:05,850 --> 00:04:07,841
Thank you, Abed.

87
00:04:08,339 --> 00:04:10,381
I'm gonna go save Britta
from that dude.

88
00:04:10,382 --> 00:04:12,406
Yeah, she looks like she's in trouble.

89
00:04:12,407 --> 00:04:14,607
Hope he doesn't try to
"handsome" her to death.

90
00:04:14,986 --> 00:04:16,609
- And panda has no pants.
- Hey.

91
00:04:16,610 --> 00:04:18,748
Hey, hi, what's up, man? I'm Vaughn.

92
00:04:18,749 --> 00:04:20,475
- You in line?
- Oh, no, no, no.

93
00:04:20,476 --> 00:04:22,243
We're just, uh,
we're just chillin'.

94
00:04:22,244 --> 00:04:23,729
Hey, you're not gonna
order coffee?

95
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:27,458
- No, I was just gonna see if Britta...
- I mean, no judgment, bro. I used to do coffee.

96
00:04:27,459 --> 00:04:29,895
Then I made the switch
to green tea. It's, like...

97
00:04:29,896 --> 00:04:33,236
It's like filled with these
antioxidants and stuff.

98
00:04:34,030 --> 00:04:36,834
- It's pretty tight.
- Tight, yes!

99
00:04:36,862 --> 00:04:38,170
I've heard that about green tea.

100
00:04:38,171 --> 00:04:40,626
I like green tea. I should make the change.

101
00:04:40,627 --> 00:04:42,443
Up top, sugar bear.

102
00:04:42,972 --> 00:04:44,466
- Yeah, give me some of that.
- There it is.

103
00:04:44,467 --> 00:04:45,902
Small coffee, please.

104
00:04:46,539 --> 00:04:48,765
Britta's making the change to green tea.

105
00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:50,855
Oh, that's good.
It's good for your skin.

106
00:04:51,512 --> 00:04:53,811
Welcome, research assistants.

107
00:04:54,941 --> 00:04:57,848
If you turn your attention to the
monitor, you will see that our subjects

108
00:04:57,849 --> 00:05:00,482
are waiting for the
experiment to begin. But...

109
00:05:01,058 --> 00:05:03,424
it's actually happening right now.

110
00:05:07,088 --> 00:05:09,052
You see, the waiting is the experiment.

111
00:05:09,053 --> 00:05:11,111
The Duncan Principle is simple.

112
00:05:11,112 --> 00:05:13,159
Namely, that the more control
lost by the...

113
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:16,301
yeah, I'm gonna write this down
too, actually. That's a good point.

114
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:21,686
The more control lost by the ego,
the more gained by the id,

115
00:05:21,687 --> 00:05:28,163
resulting in a surprisingly predictable,
emotional eruption or breaking point.

116
00:05:28,164 --> 00:05:32,727
Known to Ma and Pa as
a good old-fashioned tantrum.

117
00:05:35,619 --> 00:05:39,203
Annie, why don't you, uh,
go and tell our subjects

118
00:05:39,204 --> 00:05:42,293
that we're going to be starting the
experiment in five minutes, okay?

119
00:05:44,964 --> 00:05:46,665
And Annie...

120
00:05:47,211 --> 00:05:49,950
It's never actually
going to start.

121
00:05:53,385 --> 00:05:55,385
Let's do this.

122
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:57,614
Hi, everyone.

123
00:05:58,171 --> 00:05:59,319
Hi, Troy.

124
00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:00,786
Hi, Abed.

125
00:06:00,922 --> 00:06:02,554
Hi, señor Chang.

126
00:06:02,555 --> 00:06:06,454
What, a Community College
Spanish teacher can't use 80 bucks?

127
00:06:06,782 --> 00:06:09,853
Well, we're just running
a little bit behind,

128
00:06:09,854 --> 00:06:13,214
- so we'll probably start
in about five minutes. - No!

129
00:06:13,215 --> 00:06:16,842
No, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no!

130
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:20,006
It's unacceptable, all right?
You lied to me!

131
00:06:20,042 --> 00:06:24,568
When you say something
starts at nine, it starts at nueve!

132
00:06:28,134 --> 00:06:30,409
No!

133
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:34,289
- No!
- Houston, we have an idiot.

134
00:06:45,884 --> 00:06:48,123
Did you know we walk
the same way after class?

135
00:06:48,124 --> 00:06:50,205
I'm sure you didn't or else we
would've been walking together.

136
00:06:50,206 --> 00:06:51,630
Unless you're a jerk.

137
00:06:51,631 --> 00:06:53,050
Just kidding.

138
00:06:53,286 --> 00:06:54,782
- Let's do it.
- Mm-hmm.

139
00:06:54,783 --> 00:06:57,581
Don't go too fast for
these dogs. Short legs.

140
00:07:02,958 --> 00:07:04,203
- So, how do you like...?
- You've got a kid, right?

141
00:07:04,204 --> 00:07:05,706
- What's that?
- Nothing.

142
00:07:09,453 --> 00:07:12,044
So, Pierce isn't exactly
right in the head, is he?

143
00:07:13,405 --> 00:07:17,165
I know a lot of grown men with radar
dishes coming out of their ear.

144
00:07:17,330 --> 00:07:20,722
- He's like inspector gadget.
- Yeah, go, go, gadget incontinence.

145
00:07:20,723 --> 00:07:22,997
And how about that guy that's always
around, flirting with Britta?

146
00:07:22,998 --> 00:07:26,575
- I know! He's the worst! Vaughn?
- I know, and what is it with his hair?

147
00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:27,687
It's perpetually moist.

148
00:07:27,688 --> 00:07:30,305
Okay, we're three hours in,
so let's review what we've seen.

149
00:07:30,306 --> 00:07:33,485
And pay close attention to
every subject's breaking point.

150
00:07:33,503 --> 00:07:37,957
We've got... a shouter.
That one's a stomper.

151
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,480
Bye, hippie.

152
00:07:39,481 --> 00:07:43,556
There's a generic whack job, bouncing
up and down like a six-foot child.

153
00:07:43,603 --> 00:07:45,020
Shaking. Write that down.

154
00:07:45,021 --> 00:07:46,460
Visible shakes.

155
00:07:46,907 --> 00:07:48,732
Look, look at the little one
chase the big one.

156
00:07:48,733 --> 00:07:51,541
Look at him go. I'm gonna make him
go quicker. It's like benny hill looks.

157
00:07:51,542 --> 00:07:54,052
Whoo, ooh, ooh, get him. Come back
again. Whoo, ooh, ooh, get him.

158
00:07:54,053 --> 00:07:55,439
All right?
There's a bit of fun.

159
00:07:55,578 --> 00:07:58,882
It lightens the mood.
And back to the present...

160
00:08:00,029 --> 00:08:02,192
And then, there were two.

161
00:08:04,110 --> 00:08:06,658
Break... Break...

162
00:08:14,971 --> 00:08:18,392
No, no, no! Annie!

163
00:08:18,393 --> 00:08:20,419
What is going on in there?

164
00:08:20,420 --> 00:08:23,798
Why...? What is taking so long?

165
00:08:23,799 --> 00:08:28,656
I've wasted all day here, for you.

166
00:08:28,938 --> 00:08:32,157
<i>The soul train awards
were tonight.</i>

167
00:08:32,158 --> 00:08:35,662
You promised butt stuff!

168
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,236
And... he's out. We got him.

169
00:08:43,729 --> 00:08:48,248
- Strike three, you're gone.
- There's so much dust in here!

170
00:08:48,249 --> 00:08:49,265
Do you know what?

171
00:08:49,266 --> 00:08:52,467
The longer they wait,
the harder they break.

172
00:08:52,468 --> 00:08:54,165
Buckle up, students.

173
00:08:54,439 --> 00:08:56,638
Do you see how often
hacky sack takes his shirt off?

174
00:08:56,639 --> 00:08:58,929
He'd play shirts and skins
in a game of checkers.

175
00:08:58,930 --> 00:09:01,658
I'm so glad to be able
to talk to someone about this.

176
00:09:01,659 --> 00:09:03,355
I wanted to say
something to britta about it,

177
00:09:03,356 --> 00:09:06,845
but we're supposed to be friends now,
and she'd think I was jealous.

178
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:08,702
I don't see why you
and Britta aren't together.

179
00:09:08,703 --> 00:09:11,716
Two cute white people going
to school together. Just seems right.

180
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,990
Shirley, we're not pandas in a zoo.

181
00:09:15,534 --> 00:09:17,154
Oh. Oh, dear.

182
00:09:19,664 --> 00:09:21,911
That is not what I want to see.

183
00:09:26,462 --> 00:09:28,400
And there goes the shirt.

184
00:09:37,638 --> 00:09:38,496
Hey.

185
00:09:38,497 --> 00:09:40,611
Hey, I'm fine.

186
00:09:40,659 --> 00:09:41,851
Want me to, uh...

187
00:09:41,852 --> 00:09:43,601
Want me to check you
for grass stains?

188
00:09:43,602 --> 00:09:47,105
I wasn't sure how or when to bring up
that I was hanging out with Vaughn.

189
00:09:47,106 --> 00:09:50,742
I figured that you'd
make fun of him... and me.

190
00:09:50,743 --> 00:09:53,752
Uh, first of all, friends do
not make fun of each other,

191
00:09:53,753 --> 00:09:57,599
even if they're being tackled
in the quad by a hippie.

192
00:09:57,685 --> 00:10:02,008
And secondly, Vaughn seems cool.

193
00:10:02,009 --> 00:10:04,186
Well, you guys should
hang out sometime.

194
00:10:06,613 --> 00:10:10,325
I gotta go. I... uh, that
was tacky out there.

195
00:10:10,659 --> 00:10:15,040
- You won't ever see that again.
- Oh, no worries, brah.

196
00:10:21,512 --> 00:10:25,051
Shirley, did you see
Señor Chang's socks today?

197
00:10:25,762 --> 00:10:27,475
Tiny bullfighters.

198
00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:31,550
I can top that. Did you see that
<i>hacky sack</i> wears an anklet?

199
00:10:33,635 --> 00:10:35,520
Since when won't you
talk about Vaughn?

200
00:10:35,521 --> 00:10:37,968
Look, I'm trying to be
a good friend to Britta.

201
00:10:38,383 --> 00:10:42,745
She thought I was gonna make fun of
him, but I want to be unpredictable.

202
00:10:42,746 --> 00:10:47,171
I'm gonna show her that I'm not
the jerk she thinks I am, and...

203
00:10:47,172 --> 00:10:51,281
friend the hell out of that
green-tea-drinking drum circler.

204
00:10:51,408 --> 00:10:53,756
Okay, but tell me you've noticed
how small his nipples are.

205
00:10:53,757 --> 00:10:56,939
- Not engaging.
- What? It's not gossip when it's fact.

206
00:10:56,940 --> 00:10:58,917
- My kids have got hamsters
with bigger nips. - No!

207
00:10:58,918 --> 00:11:01,260
- Oh, well. Jeff!
- No!

208
00:11:05,991 --> 00:11:11,124
- Is it on pause?
- No, that's just him.

209
00:11:15,628 --> 00:11:19,111
Sorry you've been waiting 26... hours.

210
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:22,161
It's just gonna be
another five minutes.

211
00:11:22,162 --> 00:11:23,491
Okey-dokey.

212
00:11:24,449 --> 00:11:25,926
Oh, my...

213
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,220
Why won't he leave?

214
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,665
- Professor.
- What?

215
00:11:29,666 --> 00:11:31,619
I'm sorry, but this guy's not moving.

216
00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:34,287
I have classes to go to.

217
00:11:34,288 --> 00:11:38,698
Go! Fine!
Go kill John Lennon again, you loser.

218
00:11:39,586 --> 00:11:41,401
He's ruined my study.

219
00:11:41,402 --> 00:11:44,381
He has... He has warped
the Duncan Principle.

220
00:11:44,794 --> 00:11:48,479
Damn you, you outlying piece of datum!

221
00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:56,592
It's you!
It's your fault!

222
00:11:56,786 --> 00:12:00,973
- But you told me to bring subjects.
- Yeah, subjects! Not Rain Man!

223
00:12:00,974 --> 00:12:05,966
I should never have let you into this lab,
miss Annie fanny panties in a bunch!

224
00:12:06,506 --> 00:12:09,013
Oh, that's so hilarious!

225
00:12:09,093 --> 00:12:11,908
Did you think of that the last time
you skipped a trip to the dentist?

226
00:12:11,970 --> 00:12:15,298
Let me answer that
question with another question.

227
00:12:18,107 --> 00:12:21,254
It's not fair! It's not fair!

228
00:12:21,255 --> 00:12:23,383
Why, why, why?

229
00:12:23,384 --> 00:12:24,342
What are you doing?!

230
00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:25,852
Put... Stop writing!

231
00:12:25,853 --> 00:12:27,305
Put your pen...!
Give me that!

232
00:12:27,306 --> 00:12:30,150
Get out!
Get out, you dorks!

233
00:12:30,151 --> 00:12:31,211
Get out!

234
00:12:34,556 --> 00:12:38,739
You have destroyed
the Duncan Principle!

235
00:12:44,739 --> 00:12:45,967
Go home!

236
00:12:49,897 --> 00:12:51,136
Cool.

237
00:12:53,202 --> 00:12:54,320
See ya!

238
00:12:54,321 --> 00:12:57,864
So, uh, Britta said that you did
a lot of community service.

239
00:12:57,865 --> 00:13:01,478
Ultimate frisbee at the Senior's
center. It is amazing.

240
00:13:01,479 --> 00:13:03,288
And what makes frisbee ultimate?

241
00:13:04,429 --> 00:13:07,423
If I had a nickel for every time I wished
somebody asked me that.

242
00:13:07,424 --> 00:13:09,574
I'm gonna get dessert.
Want anything?

243
00:13:09,575 --> 00:13:10,609
Carrots.

244
00:13:11,302 --> 00:13:12,677
Oh, I'm good.

245
00:13:13,499 --> 00:13:15,805
- Hey, you two.
- Hey.

246
00:13:15,806 --> 00:13:18,587
Well, that's a cool shirt.

247
00:13:18,588 --> 00:13:20,561
Thank you.
Thank you very much.

248
00:13:20,604 --> 00:13:23,426
- Where's it from?
- Oh, uh, I don't even know.

249
00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:25,325
I guess it's...

250
00:13:26,537 --> 00:13:28,441
Hey, look at that.
"Hanes Classic."

251
00:13:28,442 --> 00:13:30,047
Oh, that's nice.

252
00:13:30,048 --> 00:13:32,494
You know, people
underestimate the elderly.

253
00:13:32,495 --> 00:13:34,233
You know, but you
see these guys out there

254
00:13:34,234 --> 00:13:37,497
and they're throwing the bee,
and they're just loving life.

255
00:13:37,498 --> 00:13:40,649
- It's just inspiring.
- You know, I'm gonna really...

256
00:13:40,650 --> 00:13:44,467
- I'm gonna think about it.
- All right. I'm gonna go check on Britts.

257
00:13:44,468 --> 00:13:46,391
- See ya.
- See ya.

258
00:13:47,673 --> 00:13:49,823
- You are the devil.
- I know.

259
00:13:50,192 --> 00:13:54,584
<i>¿Adónde van ustedes los Sábados?</i>

260
00:13:55,736 --> 00:13:57,740
<i>Domingo, plus...</i>

261
00:13:57,842 --> 00:13:59,681
- Oh, okay, I...
- Where do we go on Saturdays...?

262
00:13:59,682 --> 00:14:01,946
- You said Sunday.
- I have a question for you.

263
00:14:02,745 --> 00:14:04,674
You like Vaughn, right?

264
00:14:04,794 --> 00:14:06,875
- Oh, he's very cute.
- I'm just worried

265
00:14:06,876 --> 00:14:08,987
that he's thinking
a little bit more intensely

266
00:14:08,988 --> 00:14:11,207
about this thing than I am.

267
00:14:11,208 --> 00:14:13,236
He says stuff, you know, after...

268
00:14:14,692 --> 00:14:16,448
School?

269
00:14:16,449 --> 00:14:18,155
- After...
- Dinner mints?

270
00:14:18,156 --> 00:14:21,358
- After...
- Not having sex?

271
00:14:23,284 --> 00:14:26,164
- How was that?
- What? Forget that.

272
00:14:26,598 --> 00:14:29,575
The problem right now
is that he's calling me "babe",

273
00:14:29,576 --> 00:14:31,016
he's trying to hold my hand.

274
00:14:31,017 --> 00:14:33,531
It's getting a little relationship-y.

275
00:14:33,532 --> 00:14:36,033
And he gave me something.

276
00:14:36,603 --> 00:14:38,026
Herpes?

277
00:14:38,027 --> 00:14:39,903
No. This.

278
00:14:41,299 --> 00:14:44,340
- A poem? - How do I respond
to something like that?

279
00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:45,371
"Thank you"?

280
00:14:46,374 --> 00:14:50,723
Well, it's a very good question. And
it's one I will answer. Uh...

281
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:54,536
Oh, I'm getting a text. I'm just gonna
read it, if you don't mind.

282
00:14:54,537 --> 00:14:59,646
I am reading it... and it is read.

283
00:14:59,647 --> 00:15:04,522
"Did you ever notice where
the ocean meets the sky, did ya?

284
00:15:04,523 --> 00:15:09,947
It's the same wizard blue that
I see in your eye, Britta."

285
00:15:09,948 --> 00:15:12,071
- "Wizard blue"?
- Yeah.

286
00:15:12,386 --> 00:15:14,415
Thank you so much.
You just brightened my day.

287
00:15:14,416 --> 00:15:16,282
I'm so glad we can rip on
that dude again.

288
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:17,391
Look at this, look at this.

289
00:15:17,726 --> 00:15:21,194
That is the stain of a teardrop
over the word "rad."

290
00:15:21,195 --> 00:15:22,861
Oh, he said "rad"?
I thought he said "bad."

291
00:15:22,862 --> 00:15:24,360
Oh, that makes it worse.

292
00:15:25,070 --> 00:15:28,434
- I'm surprised he can read. You know?
- I know.

293
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:32,879
Hey, sorry about bailing
on the psych experiment.

294
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:35,186
That was the experiment, Troy.

295
00:15:35,187 --> 00:15:37,609
We were testing to see how long
people would wait in the room.

296
00:15:39,537 --> 00:15:41,197
Oh, gotcha.

297
00:15:41,198 --> 00:15:43,597
- "Gotcha"? That's all you have to say?
- Yeah.

298
00:15:43,598 --> 00:15:49,423
You sat in a room for 26 straight
hours. Didn't that bother you?

299
00:15:49,424 --> 00:15:51,463
- Yeah, I was livid.
- Then why didn't you leave?

300
00:15:51,464 --> 00:15:53,889
Because you asked me to stay
and you said we were friends.

301
00:15:59,051 --> 00:16:00,925
Wait. Is this still
part of the experiment?

302
00:16:00,926 --> 00:16:03,307
He's more like a puppy
with a fish mouth.

303
00:16:03,308 --> 00:16:05,112
Right, right, it's more like this.

304
00:16:07,479 --> 00:16:09,060
That's right. Laugh it up.

305
00:16:09,713 --> 00:16:11,012
You guys want to know
what they're doing?

306
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:12,197
- Yeah.
- Sure.

307
00:16:12,198 --> 00:16:13,937
Making fun of all of us.

308
00:16:17,207 --> 00:16:20,085
I heard you with my own
ear... noculars.

309
00:16:20,086 --> 00:16:23,597
- Pierce, we are not making fun of you.
- Ah-hah. Calling me "hacky sack",

310
00:16:23,598 --> 00:16:28,559
and ripping my six pack abs
and my moist hair.

311
00:16:28,629 --> 00:16:30,456
And that face you made?

312
00:16:30,718 --> 00:16:33,157
Well, I think it's pretty obviously, Annie.

313
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:35,608
Okay, this is definitely still
part of the experiment.

314
00:16:35,609 --> 00:16:38,214
- Pierce, we were not
making fun of you. - Yeah.

315
00:16:38,215 --> 00:16:40,732
We're making fun of Britta's
boyfriend Vaughn.

316
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,134
Oh, good. Well, in that case.

317
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:45,240
But if we're gonna do something,
let's do it as a team.

318
00:16:45,241 --> 00:16:47,935
I'll get the ball rolling.
Maybe he has a tiny penis.

319
00:16:47,936 --> 00:16:50,149
- Who is this guy?
- You all have got to see him.

320
00:16:50,150 --> 00:16:52,001
Everything's all,
"no worries, no worries."

321
00:16:52,002 --> 00:16:54,004
And he always says hello
three times in a row.

322
00:16:54,005 --> 00:16:55,623
Hello, good evening,
how are you?

323
00:16:55,624 --> 00:16:58,807
And... here, look!
He wrote a poem!

324
00:16:59,746 --> 00:17:01,391
- Can I read it?
- We shouldn't show that.

325
00:17:01,392 --> 00:17:03,474
- It's fine.
- So I'll be done in, like, an hour.

326
00:17:03,475 --> 00:17:06,114
- Yeah, no worries.
- He just said it!

327
00:17:07,047 --> 00:17:10,907
- Guys, you've met Vaughn, right?
- Hey. What's up? Hi.

328
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:16,600
- What a fool.
- This troop's got a case of the giggles, huh?

329
00:17:22,062 --> 00:17:23,530
Wait... is that...?

330
00:17:23,966 --> 00:17:25,836
Did you give them my poem?

331
00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:26,947
No!

332
00:17:26,948 --> 00:17:29,463
Okay, well, why is the dinosaur
rocking a picture of my poem?

333
00:17:29,464 --> 00:17:30,883
Here, read it.

334
00:17:34,193 --> 00:17:36,930
Oh, you guys are... right?

335
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:38,510
You guys are laughing at me, aren't you?

336
00:17:38,511 --> 00:17:39,641
- Yeah.
- No.

337
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,952
That's, uh, wow.

338
00:17:45,284 --> 00:17:48,148
This is the least tight thing
that's ever happened to me.

339
00:17:51,944 --> 00:17:53,612
I can't believe you.

340
00:17:53,704 --> 00:17:56,414
Honestly, Jeff, how dare you?

341
00:17:59,225 --> 00:18:02,374
I can hear him outside. He's crying.

342
00:18:04,057 --> 00:18:05,812
Now he's barking.

343
00:18:08,872 --> 00:18:11,800
- Jeff, wait! I'm sorry I sold you out.
- Britta is never gonna forgive me.

344
00:18:11,801 --> 00:18:15,919
I can't believe I showed you that
poem. Oh, my god, my life is <i>Degrassi High.</i>

345
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,581
Oh, Jeff, I have a gossip problem.

346
00:18:18,882 --> 00:18:21,310
I stir the pot, Jeff. I'm a pot stirrer.

347
00:18:21,521 --> 00:18:23,380
This isn't even the only study
group I've had this year.

348
00:18:23,381 --> 00:18:25,172
You see those ladies over there?

349
00:18:26,992 --> 00:18:29,343
I used to be in their group
till they kicked me out.

350
00:18:29,344 --> 00:18:33,103
They called me "tattle-ina."
It's a bumblebee nickname.

351
00:18:33,104 --> 00:18:35,119
It's cute, but it stings.

352
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:37,392
Hey, look at the size
of that woman's earrings.

353
00:18:37,393 --> 00:18:40,279
It's like little dogs
should be jumping through them.

354
00:18:41,992 --> 00:18:44,211
- This is never going to work. This has to end.
- Look at them.

355
00:18:44,770 --> 00:18:48,675
Shirley, don't do this.
Look, we can still hang out.

356
00:18:49,163 --> 00:18:52,142
It's just, you know,
we won't bag on people.

357
00:18:52,143 --> 00:18:53,809
Come on, Jeff. What are
we gonna talk about?

358
00:18:53,810 --> 00:18:56,059
My kids? Your doctor career?

359
00:18:56,060 --> 00:18:58,919
- I was a lawyer.
- See? I'm already bored.

360
00:19:01,256 --> 00:19:05,698
Well, we'll always have
"tiny nipples."

361
00:19:06,028 --> 00:19:07,865
They were tiny.

362
00:19:07,866 --> 00:19:11,049
Okay. Jeff, wait, wait.
I know I shouldn't do this,

363
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:13,088
but one last little piece of gossip.

364
00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:19,990
Britta told me she had
a sex dream about you.

365
00:19:19,991 --> 00:19:22,113
You still have a chance.

366
00:19:23,125 --> 00:19:25,075
- Details.
- Mm.

367
00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:27,783
Details! Details!

368
00:19:30,876 --> 00:19:32,873
Abed, here.

369
00:19:34,149 --> 00:19:36,970
I wanted to say sorry
for yelling at you.

370
00:19:40,756 --> 00:19:42,014
Indiana Jones. Cool.

371
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:43,372
I just got the first three because...

372
00:19:43,373 --> 00:19:45,441
- The fourth one blows.
- The fourth one blows.

373
00:19:47,617 --> 00:19:48,915
We're cool.

374
00:19:48,916 --> 00:19:50,593
- Britta!
- I do not want to talk to you.

375
00:19:50,594 --> 00:19:52,235
No, I know and I'm sorry.

376
00:19:52,236 --> 00:19:54,939
I'm really sorry.
I'm really, really sorry,

377
00:19:54,940 --> 00:19:58,495
- and I will go talk to Vaughn if you
want me to. - Vaughn broke up with me.

378
00:19:59,813 --> 00:20:03,521
- You broke my trust. You suck.
- No, I know, and I'm sorry,

379
00:20:03,522 --> 00:20:05,506
but I was in a tough position.

380
00:20:05,808 --> 00:20:08,732
I couldn't handle
just being one of the girls.

381
00:20:11,935 --> 00:20:14,706
What do you want to be?

382
00:20:14,707 --> 00:20:17,400
Is there a spot on
the friendship spectrum

383
00:20:17,401 --> 00:20:21,916
between total stranger and having
to hear about the guys you date?

384
00:20:21,917 --> 00:20:26,000
And ideally, just a notch underneath, driving
you to the airport and painting your kitchen?

385
00:20:26,001 --> 00:20:29,541
How about the friend level where you
sometimes have to cat-sit?

386
00:20:29,542 --> 00:20:34,493
Done. And if I'm occasionally naked
in your dreams, I won't complain.

387
00:20:34,494 --> 00:20:35,587
- Shirley.
- I know.

388
00:20:35,588 --> 00:20:37,117
She's got a problem.
She stirs the pot.

389
00:20:37,118 --> 00:20:38,475
She's a pot stirrer.

390
00:20:39,862 --> 00:20:41,406
Sorry, dudes.

391
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:42,835
No worries, man.

392
00:20:43,149 --> 00:20:47,050
Yeah, some worries, man.
Some worries.

393
00:20:57,570 --> 00:21:00,137
Shirley would have said
something funny about that guy.

394
00:21:02,278 --> 00:21:05,281
And so I told him...
Oh, hey, Jeff.

395
00:21:05,282 --> 00:21:06,944
Shh.

396
00:21:07,193 --> 00:21:08,261
Oh, no.

397
00:21:08,262 --> 00:21:10,517
Pierce! Pierce,
give me your ear-thing.

398
00:21:10,518 --> 00:21:12,193
Got rid of it.

399
00:21:14,948 --> 00:21:18,792
You see, Jeff, there are certain things
man was not meant to hear.

400
00:21:18,793 --> 00:21:22,285
We were designed by...
whatever entity you choose,

401
00:21:22,932 --> 00:21:28,284
to hear what's in this range,
and really, this range alone.

402
00:21:28,285 --> 00:21:30,892
'Cause you know who's
talking to us in this range?

403
00:21:31,856 --> 00:21:33,872
The people we love.

404
00:21:41,424 --> 00:21:44,132
He must have heard us
call him Inspector Gadget.

405
00:21:49,882 --> 00:21:52,381
Oh, I think it's time for burning man.

406
00:21:52,382 --> 00:21:55,295
Ew, I'm Saddam Hussein. Ew.

407
00:21:55,296 --> 00:21:57,084
Nice to meet you, dude.

408
00:21:57,085 --> 00:22:00,336
Oh, wow. I love reading and
being a desperate housewife.

409
00:22:00,337 --> 00:22:03,956
Hey, man, coming through. I love
the desperate housewives.

410
00:22:05,415 --> 00:22:10,516
I'm Dr. Doogie Seacrest. I think I'm better
than everyone else because I'm forty.

411
00:22:10,517 --> 00:22:12,191
I'm not forty.

412
00:22:12,910 --> 00:22:15,275
I can hear you through
the window, morons.

413
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,130
Just pretend like you're asleep.

414
00:22:20,131 --> 00:22:22,524
Just pretend like you were sleeping.