1
00:00:01,901 --> 00:00:04,870
[CHANG SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
2
00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:06,936
[###]
3
00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:08,129
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
4
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,070
[CLASS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
5
00:00:10,276 --> 00:00:13,871
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
6
00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:18,607
[CHANG & CLASS
SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
7
00:00:18,818 --> 00:00:23,016
Ooh. Nice day out today, isn't it?
Yeah, shoot.
8
00:00:24,457 --> 00:00:25,719
You forget something?
9
00:00:25,925 --> 00:00:28,792
Yeah, I forgot to stagger the timing
of my exit with Shirley's.
10
00:00:28,995 --> 00:00:30,155
We both have a class
across campus
11
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:31,762
and I can't go that kind
of distance with
12
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:33,398
[IMITATING SHIRLEY]
"Oh, that's nice."
13
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,591
That's mean.
No, that's not nice.
14
00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:38,168
I find Shirley very easy to talk to.
15
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:41,898
Besides, aren't you supposed to have like
an Olympic gold medal in jibber jabber?
16
00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:43,871
Yeah, but I'm a sprinter.
17
00:00:44,077 --> 00:00:46,409
I'm at my best
during high speed bursts of wit.
18
00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:49,480
On a Shirley walk,
I'd be winded by that stoner tree.
19
00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:51,115
Hey, Britta. Hi.
20
00:00:51,317 --> 00:00:53,080
What's up?
Hey, Vaughn, how's it going?
21
00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:54,981
No worries.
Interesting.
22
00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:58,385
Because I might be worried if I was
playing hacky sack a decade too late.
23
00:00:58,591 --> 00:00:59,888
My class is that way.
24
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:02,323
All right. I just want to point
out that we easily walked
25
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:04,997
more than a hundred yards
with no awkward pauses.
26
00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:08,031
And that is the sign of a true friend.
So...
27
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:10,532
I'm really glad you're not hitting
on me anymore.
28
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:13,535
There's the awkward pause.
29
00:01:15,341 --> 00:01:16,569
Aah!
30
00:01:16,776 --> 00:01:18,744
[THE 88'S "AT LEAST
IT WAS HERE" PLAYING]
31
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,441
ANNIE:
Excuse me. Oh, pardon me.
32
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:29,315
Professor Duncan. Professor Duncan.
Uh, ooh, sorry.
33
00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:30,511
Annie Edison,
34
00:01:30,723 --> 00:01:32,122
I'm in your 101 lecture.
Oh. Hello.
35
00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:33,792
I've heard about
your special psych lab.
36
00:01:33,993 --> 00:01:35,654
Ah. The Duncan Principle.
Yes.
37
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:39,662
And I know it's limited to second year
students, but I had a 4.0 at Riverside High.
38
00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:41,891
And I'm not looking down
on this school at all.
39
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,831
But I'm only here because of
a brief addiction to pills
40
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,698
that I was told would
help me focus
41
00:01:45,905 --> 00:01:47,065
but they actually made me lose
42
00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:49,138
my scholarship and virginity.
Right.
43
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:52,334
If you will let me take your lab early, it
would be a real feather in my transcript.
44
00:01:52,545 --> 00:01:56,572
Okay. I've actually been in this situation
many times, so I'm just gonna be upfront.
45
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,410
I'm not allowed to date students.
46
00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:00,682
Oh.
But if in spite of that
47
00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:02,582
you are still interested,
then you may join the lab.
48
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,051
Oh!
Ah.
49
00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:07,249
Okay, you need to bring
two human subjects.
50
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,087
I asked politely
and the panda took his pants off.
51
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:10,990
[LAUGHS]
52
00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:13,825
BRITTA: I never even knew
that's what asexual meant.
53
00:02:14,033 --> 00:02:16,228
I wonder what this express package
could be.
54
00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:18,802
Somebody had to get something
to me very fast.
55
00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:20,802
You brought your mail to campus.
56
00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:22,998
Oh, yes. My Ear-Noculars.
57
00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:24,198
What is that?
58
00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:26,378
It looks like your blue-tooth thingy.
No, no, no.
59
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:28,342
This is my cell phone headset.
60
00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:32,484
And this is Ear-Noculars.
61
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,784
It's for spies and what-not.
Gives you sonic hearing.
62
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,616
All hearing is sonic.
What's that?
63
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,156
So who wants to be
in a psych experiment?
64
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:45,229
Hey, guys, guys. Annie is talking
about some kind of experiment.
65
00:02:45,431 --> 00:02:47,160
She's behind you. Not interested.
66
00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:49,330
Please. You get paid.
67
00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:52,004
Do they do stuff to your butt?
No.
68
00:02:52,205 --> 00:02:55,003
Do you get paid more
if they do stuff to your butt?
69
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:57,233
No.
It's fine, I'll do it, I'm in.
70
00:02:57,443 --> 00:02:59,468
Yay. How about you, Abed?
It's tomorrow.
71
00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:03,012
Oof. Tomorrow, they're showing
all four Indiana Joneses at The Vista.
72
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:05,878
I'm really looking forward to the first three.
I bought a whip.
73
00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:07,712
ANNIE: This is really
important to me, Abed.
74
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:10,856
Could you please go as my friend?
My really good friend?
75
00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:13,355
Well, I didn't realize
we were really good friends.
76
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,118
I figured we were really
more like Chandler and Phoebe.
77
00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:17,387
They never really had stories
together.
78
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:20,494
Sure, I'll do it, Chandler.
Oh, thank you, Abed.
79
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:22,694
Oh.
I'm gonna go save Britta
80
00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:23,891
from that dude.
81
00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:25,866
Yeah,
she looks like she's in trouble.
82
00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:28,666
Hope he doesn't try
to handsome her to death. Ha-ha.
83
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:29,864
[BOTH LAUGHING]
84
00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:31,338
Hey.
What's up, man?
85
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:32,568
Hi, I'm Vaughn.
86
00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,303
You in line?
Oh, no, no.
87
00:03:34,514 --> 00:03:35,674
We're just, uh...
We're just chilling.
88
00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:39,675
Hey, you're not gonna order coffee?
Oh, no, I was just seeing if Britta...
89
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,683
No judgment, bro.
I used to do coffee.
90
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,015
Then I made the switch
to green tea,
91
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:47,421
it's like filled with these antioxidants
and stuff.
92
00:03:48,127 --> 00:03:49,719
It's pretty tight.
Tight.
93
00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:52,056
Yes, I've heard that about green tea.
94
00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:54,290
I like green tea.
I should make the change.
95
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,559
Up top, sugar bear.
96
00:03:56,769 --> 00:03:59,237
Yeah, give me some of that.
Small coffee, please.
97
00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:00,428
[###]
98
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:02,198
Britta's making the change
to green tea.
99
00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:04,403
Good. It'll be a scandal.
100
00:04:05,111 --> 00:04:06,874
Welcome, research assistants.
101
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:09,244
Turn your attention
to the monitor,
102
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:12,384
you will see that our subjects are
waiting for the experiment to begin.
103
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:16,715
But it's actually happening
right now.
104
00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:21,151
You see, the waiting is the experiment.
The Duncan Principle is simple.
105
00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:25,024
Namely, the more control lost by...
Yeah, I'm gonna write this down too, actually.
106
00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:26,391
That's a good point.
107
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:31,832
The more control lost by the ego,
the more gained by the id.
108
00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:34,506
Resulting
in a surprisingly predictable,
109
00:04:34,707 --> 00:04:38,006
emotional eruption
or breaking point.
110
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:42,904
Known to Ma and Pa
as a good old-fashioned tantrum.
111
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,344
[ALL LAUGHING]
112
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:47,083
Oh. Annie.
113
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,221
Why don't you, uh, go
and tell our subjects
114
00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:52,084
that we're gonna be starting
the experiment in five minutes, okay?
115
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,350
[###]
116
00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:56,991
And, Annie,
117
00:04:57,530 --> 00:04:59,259
it's never actually going to start.
118
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,865
Ha-ha-ha.
119
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,528
I like that, all day.
120
00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:14,077
Hi, everyone.
121
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:16,373
Hi, Troy. Hi, Abed.
122
00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:18,313
Hi, Senor Chang.
123
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:22,045
What, community college
Spanish teacher can't use 80 bucks?
124
00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:25,653
Well, we're just running
a little bit behind,
125
00:05:25,858 --> 00:05:28,452
so we'll probably start in five
minutes.
126
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,322
No, no, no.
127
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:32,896
No, no, no. Unacceptable.
128
00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:39,504
When you say something starts at 9,
it starts at nueve. Ah!
129
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:44,003
No, no.
130
00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:46,508
And we're off.
131
00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:48,681
[###]
132
00:05:57,790 --> 00:05:59,849
Did you know we walk the same way
after class?
133
00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:02,289
I'm sure you didn't or else we
would've been walking together,
134
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:05,055
unless you're a jerk, hmm,
just kidding. Heh-heh.
135
00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:06,424
Let's do it.
Mm-hm.
136
00:06:06,632 --> 00:06:10,090
Don't go too fast for these dogs.
Short legs.
137
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,968
Do you like Green...? What's that?
You got a kid, right? Nothing.
138
00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:24,416
So Pierce isn't exactly right
in the head, is he?
139
00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:30,554
I know a lot of grown men with radar
dishes coming out of their ears.
140
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:32,189
He's like Inspector Gadget.
141
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,825
Yeah, go go gadget incontinence.
142
00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:36,187
How about that guy that's always
around flirting with Britta?
143
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,125
I know. He's the worst, Vaughn?
144
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:40,697
I know. What is with his hair?
It's perpetually moist.
145
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,494
Okay, we're three hours in,
let's review what we've seen.
146
00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:46,695
And pay close attention
to every subject's breaking point.
147
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:49,534
We've got a shouter.
148
00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,903
That one's a stomper. Bye, hippie.
149
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:53,943
There's a generic whack job,
150
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,911
bouncing up and down
like a 6-foot child.
151
00:06:57,116 --> 00:06:59,380
Shaking, write that down.
Visible shakes.
152
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:02,548
Look at the little one
chase the big one, look at them go.
153
00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:04,985
I can make them go quicker,
it's like Benny Hill.
154
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:06,920
Whoo. Get them. Lightens the mood.
155
00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:09,984
And back to the present.
156
00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:12,562
And then there were two.
157
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,096
[###]
158
00:07:19,238 --> 00:07:22,401
DUNCAN:
Break, break.
159
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,137
No, no, no. Annie.
160
00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:34,809
What is going on in there?
I wasted all day here for you.
161
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:38,113
The Soul Train Awards were tonight.
162
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:39,991
You promised...
163
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,182
[TROY SOBS]
164
00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:47,999
And he's out. We got him.
165
00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:50,526
Professor,
what is with that last guy?
166
00:07:50,736 --> 00:07:52,636
DUNCAN:
I've seen this before.
167
00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:55,364
The longer they wait,
the harder they break.
168
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,340
Buckle up, students.
169
00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,903
Heh. See how often Hacky Sack
takes his shirt off?
170
00:08:00,112 --> 00:08:01,704
He'd play shirts and skins
in a game of checkers.
171
00:08:01,914 --> 00:08:02,903
[BOTH LAUGH]
172
00:08:03,115 --> 00:08:05,049
I'm so glad to be able
to talk to someone about this.
173
00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:07,276
I wanted to say
something to Britta about it.
174
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:10,217
But we're supposed to be friends
now, she'd think I was jealous.
175
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:12,050
I don't see why you and Britta
aren't together.
176
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:14,783
Two white people going to school
together, just seems right.
177
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,791
Shirley, we're not pandas in a zoo.
178
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,190
[CHUCKLES]
179
00:08:18,397 --> 00:08:20,558
Oh. Oh, dear.
180
00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:22,233
[###]
181
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:25,029
That is not what I want to see.
182
00:08:29,308 --> 00:08:30,832
And there goes the shirt.
183
00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:34,971
[COIN JINGLES]
184
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,614
[###]
185
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:38,784
[TAPPING]
186
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,749
Hey.
Hey, I'm fine. Oh.
187
00:08:42,955 --> 00:08:45,753
Want me to, uh, check you
for grass stains?
188
00:08:45,958 --> 00:08:49,291
I wasn't sure how or when to bring up
that I was hanging out with Vaughn.
189
00:08:49,495 --> 00:08:52,862
I figured that you'd make
fun of him and me.
190
00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:54,727
Oh, well... Uh...
191
00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:57,334
First of all, friends don't make fun
of each other,
192
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,768
even if they're being tackled
in the quad by a hippie.
193
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:06,276
And secondly, Vaughn seems cool.
194
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:11,615
You guys should hang out
sometime.
195
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:14,744
I gotta go. I, uh...
196
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:18,412
That was tacky out there,
you won't ever see that again.
197
00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:20,057
Oh, no worries, brah.
198
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:27,497
[###]
199
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:29,167
Shirley.
200
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:31,862
Did you see
Senor Chang's socks today?
201
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,902
Tiny bullfighters.
Ha-ha.
202
00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:37,667
I can top that, did you see
that Hacky Sack wears an anklet?
203
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,644
Since when won't you talk
about Vaughn?
204
00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:44,338
I'm trying to be a good friend
to Britta.
205
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:47,986
She thought I was gonna make fun of
him, but I want to be unpredictable.
206
00:09:48,854 --> 00:09:53,188
I'm going to show her that I'm
not the jerk she thinks I am.
207
00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:57,226
And friend the hell out of that
green-tea-drinking drum circler.
208
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,830
Okay. But tell me you noticed
how small his nipples are.
209
00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:02,933
Not engaging.
What? It's not gossip when it's fact.
210
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:04,898
My kids got hamsters with big nips.
No.
211
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,163
Oh, well. Jeff.
No.
212
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:12,410
Is... Is it on pause?
213
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,012
No, that's just him.
214
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:23,820
Sorry you've been waiting 26 hours.
215
00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:26,014
It's just going to be
another five minutes.
216
00:10:26,225 --> 00:10:27,487
Okey-dokey.
217
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,121
[WHISPERS] Okey-dokey.
Oh, my...
218
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:32,155
Why won't he leave?
219
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,457
Professor.
What?
220
00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:37,659
I'm sorry, this guy's not moving.
I have classes to go to.
221
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:39,430
Go, fine.
222
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,631
Go kill John Lennon again,
you loser.
223
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,239
He's ruined my study.
224
00:10:45,444 --> 00:10:47,708
He's warped the Duncan Principle.
225
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:51,412
Damn you,
you outlying piece of datum.
226
00:10:51,617 --> 00:10:55,781
Ow! Aah!
227
00:10:56,922 --> 00:10:58,947
It's you. It's your fault.
228
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:02,355
But you told me to bring subjects.
Yeah, subjects.
229
00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:03,994
Not Rain Man.
230
00:11:04,196 --> 00:11:06,164
I should never have let you
into this lab,
231
00:11:06,365 --> 00:11:08,799
Miss Annie Fanny Panties
In A Bunch.
232
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,936
Oh. Oh, that's so hilarious.
233
00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,572
Did you think of that the last time
you skipped a trip to the dentist?
234
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:17,504
Oh. Let me answer that question
with another question.
235
00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:19,337
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
236
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:22,241
It's not fair.
237
00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:24,075
It's not fair.
238
00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:26,217
[YELLING]
239
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,510
What are you doing? Stop writing.
240
00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:29,881
Put your... Give me that.
241
00:11:30,089 --> 00:11:33,581
Get out.
Get out, you bunch of dorks.
242
00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:34,817
Get out.
243
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:36,358
[DUNCAN PANTING]
244
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:41,533
You have destroyed
the Duncan Principle.
245
00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:43,901
[###]
246
00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:49,167
Go home.
247
00:11:53,112 --> 00:11:54,511
Cool.
248
00:11:56,248 --> 00:11:57,545
See you.
249
00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:01,083
So, uh, Britta said that you did
a lot of community service.
250
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:04,518
Ultimate Frisbee
at the Senior's Center. It is amazing.
251
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,090
And what makes Frisbee ultimate?
Ha-ha-ha.
252
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:10,387
Man. If I had a nickel for every time
I wished somebody asked me that.
253
00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:12,393
BRITTA: I'm gonna get dessert.
Want anything?
254
00:12:13,265 --> 00:12:14,789
Carrots.
255
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,763
Oh, I'm good.
256
00:12:17,169 --> 00:12:18,830
Hey, you two.
257
00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:21,939
VAUGHN: Hey.
Well, that's a cool shirt.
258
00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:24,200
Thank you. Thank you very much.
259
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:27,379
Where's it from?
Oh. Uh, psh... I don't even know.
260
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,140
I guess it's, well... Uh...
261
00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:33,409
Hey, look at that. Hanes Classic.
Oh, that's nice.
262
00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:36,087
You know,
people underestimate the elderly,
263
00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:39,519
but you see these guys out there
and they're throwing the 'bee,
264
00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:41,158
and they're just loving life.
265
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:42,418
It's just inspiring.
266
00:12:42,628 --> 00:12:45,324
You know, I'm gonna really...
I'm gonna think about it.
267
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:48,022
All right. I'm gonna check on Brits.
268
00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:50,464
See you.
See you.
269
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,564
You're the devil.
I know.
270
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:58,437
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
271
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:00,604
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
272
00:13:00,813 --> 00:13:02,075
Plus... Okay.
I have a question.
273
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,511
"Where do we go on Saturdays?"
You said, "Sunday."
274
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:07,618
I have a question for you.
You like Vaughn, right.
275
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,785
Oh, he... he's very cute.
276
00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:13,015
I'm just worried that he's thinking
a little bit more intensely
277
00:13:13,225 --> 00:13:14,692
about this thing than I am.
278
00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:16,521
He says stuff, you know, after...
279
00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:19,887
School?
280
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:21,464
After...
Dinner mints?
281
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:24,033
After...
Not having sex.
282
00:13:24,236 --> 00:13:25,863
[SIGHS]
283
00:13:26,872 --> 00:13:29,773
How was that?
What? Forget that.
284
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:32,671
The problem right now
is that he's calling me "babe."
285
00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:36,678
He's trying to hold my hands.
It's getting a little relationship-y.
286
00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:38,975
And he gave me something.
287
00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:41,985
Herpes?
No.
288
00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:44,679
This.
A poem?
289
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:46,915
How do I respond
to something like that?
290
00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:48,559
"Thank you?"
291
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:50,729
Well, it's a very good question.
292
00:13:50,930 --> 00:13:52,625
And it's one I will answer...
293
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,231
Uh... Oh, I'm getting a text.
294
00:13:54,433 --> 00:13:56,867
I'm just gonna read it
if you don't mind.
295
00:13:57,069 --> 00:14:01,631
I am reading it and it is read.
296
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:05,538
JEFF: Did you ever notice
where the ocean meets the sky?
297
00:14:05,744 --> 00:14:07,041
Did ya?
298
00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:11,546
It's the same wizard blue
That I see in your eye, Britta
299
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,217
[BOTH LAUGH]
300
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:14,977
Thank you so much.
This has brightened my day.
301
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:16,984
I'm so glad we can rip
on that dude again.
302
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:18,417
Look at this. Look at this.
303
00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:21,718
That is the stain of a tear drop
over the word, "rad."
304
00:14:21,927 --> 00:14:23,326
Oh, he said rad.
I thought he said red.
305
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,724
That makes it worse.
Ah, ha-ha-ha-ha.
306
00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:27,262
I'm surprised he can read.
307
00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:29,733
You know?
SHIRLEY: I know.
308
00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:33,068
Hey, sorry about bailing
on the psych experiment.
309
00:14:33,672 --> 00:14:35,731
That was the experiment, Troy.
310
00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:39,206
We were testing to see how long
people would wait in the room.
311
00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:41,003
Whoa.
Oh.
312
00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:42,840
Gotcha.
"Gotcha?"
313
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:44,606
That's all you have to say?
Yeah.
314
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:48,150
You sat in a room
for 26 straight hours.
315
00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:50,185
Didn't that bother you?
316
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,254
Yeah, I was livid.
Then why didn't you leave?
317
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:55,086
Because you asked me to stay
and you said we were friends.
318
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,730
Wait.
Is this still part of experiment?
319
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:03,925
He's more like a puppy
with a fish mouth.
320
00:15:04,136 --> 00:15:05,865
Right, right, right.
It's more like this:
321
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:07,902
[JEFF AND SHIRLEY LAUGHING]
322
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:09,597
That's right. Laugh it up.
323
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,271
Wanna know what they're doing?
Yeah.
324
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:15,208
Sure.
Making fun of all of us.
325
00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:20,379
I heard you
with my own Ear-Noculars.
326
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:21,985
Pierce,
we are not making fun of you.
327
00:15:22,187 --> 00:15:23,779
Ah, ha-ha. Calling me Hacky Sack,
328
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:28,585
and ripping my...
My six pack abs and my moist hair.
329
00:15:28,794 --> 00:15:30,591
And that face you made:
330
00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:32,855
That was pretty obviously Annie.
331
00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:35,590
Okay, this is definitely still part
of the experiment.
332
00:15:35,801 --> 00:15:38,133
Pierce,
we were not making fun of you.
333
00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:40,828
We're making fun of
Britta's boyfriend, Vaughn.
334
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,029
Oh, good.
335
00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:45,074
Well, in that case, if we're gonna
do something, let's do it as a team.
336
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,768
I'll get the ball rolling.
Maybe he has a tiny penis.
337
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:50,210
Who is this guy?
You all have to got to see him.
338
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:52,145
Everything's all,
"No worries, no worries."
339
00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:54,216
He always says hello
three times in a row.
340
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:57,878
"Hello, good evening, how are you?"
And look, he wrote a poem.
341
00:15:58,090 --> 00:15:59,352
[ALL LAUGHING]
342
00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:00,855
Can I read it?
We shouldn't show that.
343
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:02,027
No, no, it's fine.
344
00:16:02,227 --> 00:16:03,455
BRITTA:
So I'll be done in like an hour?
345
00:16:03,662 --> 00:16:04,788
Yeah, no worries.
346
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,828
He just said it.
347
00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:08,522
Guys, you've met Vaughn, right?
348
00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:10,463
Hey, what's up? Hi.
349
00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:12,466
[ALL LAUGHING]
350
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:14,695
Ha-ha. What a fool.
351
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:18,104
This group's got a case
of the giggles, huh? Heh.
352
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:19,777
Wait, is that?
353
00:16:22,247 --> 00:16:24,909
Did you give them my poem?
No.
354
00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:27,711
Okay, well, why's the dinosaur
rocking a picture of my poem?
355
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,319
Here, read it.
356
00:16:31,623 --> 00:16:35,650
Ha. You guys are...
You guys laughing at me, aren't you?
357
00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:37,226
Yeah.
No.
358
00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:39,522
That's, uh... Wow.
359
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,296
This is the least tight thing
that's ever happened to me.
360
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,472
[###]
361
00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:51,139
I can't believe you.
362
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:53,004
Honestly, Jeff, how dare you?
363
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:59,075
I can hear him outside. He's crying.
364
00:17:01,453 --> 00:17:02,886
Now, he's barking.
365
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:06,714
Jeff, wait,
I'm sorry I sold you out.
366
00:17:06,925 --> 00:17:07,949
Britta is never gonna forgive me.
367
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,889
I can't believe
I showed you that poem.
368
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:12,222
Oh, my God,
my life is Degrassi High.
369
00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:15,025
Oh, Jeff.
I have a gossip problem.
370
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,498
I stir the pot, Jeff. I'm a pot stirrer.
371
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,001
This isn't the only study group
I've had this year.
372
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:21,729
You see those ladies over there?
373
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,275
I used to be in their group
until they kicked me out.
374
00:17:25,477 --> 00:17:26,910
They called me Tattle-ina.
375
00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:30,741
It's a bumblebee nickname.
It's cute, but it stings.
376
00:17:32,484 --> 00:17:34,714
Hey, look at the size
of that woman's earrings.
377
00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:37,519
It's like little dogs
should be jumping through them.
378
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,384
[BOTH LAUGHING]
379
00:17:39,591 --> 00:17:41,388
Look at them.
This has to end. Mm-mm-mm.
380
00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:43,220
Shirley, don't do this.
381
00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:45,397
Look, we can still hang out.
382
00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:48,430
It's just, you know,
we won't bag on people.
383
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:50,067
Come on, Jeff.
What are we gonna talk about?
384
00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:51,896
My kids, your...
Your doctor career?
385
00:17:52,471 --> 00:17:55,463
I was a lawyer.
See, I'm already bored.
386
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,110
Well...
387
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:02,914
We'll always have tiny nipples.
Heh-heh-heh. They were tiny.
388
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:05,608
Jeff. Wait, wait.
389
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:09,345
I know I shouldn't do this,
but one last little piece of gossip.
390
00:18:09,688 --> 00:18:11,087
[###]
391
00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:14,885
Britta told me
she had a sex dream about you.
392
00:18:15,961 --> 00:18:17,326
You still have a chance.
393
00:18:17,529 --> 00:18:18,496
[GIGGLES]
394
00:18:18,697 --> 00:18:20,892
Mm-mm! Mm. Mm-mm.
Details.
395
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,160
Details. Details.
396
00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:29,098
Abed, here.
397
00:18:29,741 --> 00:18:32,005
I wanted to say sorry
for yelling at you.
398
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:39,149
Indiana Jones, cool.
I just got you the first three because...
399
00:18:39,351 --> 00:18:41,581
BOTH:
The fourth one blows.
400
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:43,916
We're cool.
JEFF: Britta.
401
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,819
BRITTA: I do not want to talk to you.
No, I know, and I'm sorry.
402
00:18:47,025 --> 00:18:49,755
I'm really sorry.
I'm really, really sorry.
403
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,658
And I will go talk to Vaughn...
Vaughn broke up with me.
404
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:54,526
Oh! Oh.
405
00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:56,963
You broke my trust. You suck.
406
00:18:57,169 --> 00:18:58,158
I know and I'm sorry.
407
00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:00,201
But I was in a tough position.
408
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,971
I couldn't handle
just being one of the girls.
409
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:07,804
What do you wanna be?
410
00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:09,241
Is...
411
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:13,851
Is there a spot on the friendship
spectrum between total stranger
412
00:19:14,052 --> 00:19:16,111
and having to hear
about the guys you date?
413
00:19:16,755 --> 00:19:19,053
And, ideally, just a notch
underneath driving you
414
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:20,725
to the airport
and painting your kitchen.
415
00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:23,417
How about the friend level
where you sometimes have to cat sit?
416
00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:24,618
Done.
417
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:28,900
And if I'm occasionally naked
in your dreams, I won't complain.
418
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:31,035
Shirley.
I know, she's got a problem.
419
00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:32,965
She stirs the pot.
She's a pot stirrer.
420
00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:36,238
Sorry, dudes.
421
00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:38,068
No worries, man.
422
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:41,405
Uh... some worries, man.
Some worries.
423
00:19:41,613 --> 00:19:43,581
[THE HEAVY'S
"HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW" PLAYS]
424
00:19:44,416 --> 00:19:45,815
Whoa.
425
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,991
Shirley would've said something
funny about that guy.
426
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,250
[CHUCKLES]
427
00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:55,983
Oh, Jeff, oh. Heh-heh-heh.
428
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,423
Oh, no.
429
00:19:57,629 --> 00:20:00,097
Pierce, Pierce,
give me your ear thing.
430
00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:02,199
Got rid of it.
431
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:09,106
You see, Jeff, there are certain things
man was not meant to hear.
432
00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:12,869
We were designed
by whatever entity you choose
433
00:20:13,312 --> 00:20:16,179
to hear what's in this range.
434
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:18,178
And really this range alone.
435
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:21,045
Because, you know
who's talking to us in this range.
436
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:23,877
The people we love.
437
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:35,028
He must've heard us call him
Inspector Gadget.
438
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,300
ABED [IN STONER VOICE]:
Oh, I think it's time for Burning Man.
439
00:20:40,505 --> 00:20:42,973
TROY [IN MOCKING VOICE]:
Oh, I'm Saddam Hussein. Oh.
440
00:20:43,475 --> 00:20:45,272
Nice to meet you, dude.
441
00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:48,139
ABED [IN GENTLE VOICE]: Oh, wow, I love
reading and being a desperate housewife.
442
00:20:48,347 --> 00:20:51,714
TROY [IN JAMAICAN ACCENT]: Hey, man, coming
through, I love the Desperate Housewives.
443
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:53,247
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
444
00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:55,246
TROY [IN NORMAL VOICE]:
I'm Dr. Doogie Seacrest.
445
00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:58,416
I think I'm better
than everyone else because I'm 40.
446
00:20:58,624 --> 00:21:00,524
I'm not 40.
447
00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:03,890
I can hear you through the window,
morons.
448
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:10,231
Just pretend like you asleep.
Just pretend like you were sleeping.