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Cougar Town 1x05 - You Wreck Me
2
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Oh! Check out these posers.
3
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"Dude, how much
do you love my Greco-Roman sandals
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and super-groomed sideburns?
I call them my douche-burns."
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"Did you see
my giant leather man-bracelet?
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I got it because my vest with no shirt
just needed a little something."
7
00:00:25,355 --> 00:00:28,813
"Hey, let's high-five!
Yay! We did it!"
8
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OK, it's 6:00. I'm heading home.
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00:00:31,495 --> 00:00:34,589
What? No, wait. You can't quit.
I said the last mean thing.
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You always do this! That's why I don't
play ugly baby with you anymore.
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Now I'm just gonna spiral all day
because I'm a horrible person.
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Well, that's your insane cross to bear.
Come on, let's go.
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I have so much work
to do at home.
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We have an early showing tomorrow,
so pick me up at 8:00.
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Not 8:00-ish, not 8:00 adjacent.
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And calling me at 8:00
from 20 minutes away,
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saying, "Come out, I'm here!"
Also doesn't count.
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You have a lot of rules.
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Hi. I'm really, really sorry.
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I'm not comfortable telling you why, but
I just needed to put it out there, OK?
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And that's a great bracelet,
by the way. Bye.
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Don't look at me. That was your fault.
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I know you like moving those hips,
Sheila,
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so put that torque into your swing,
OK? I'll see you next week.
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Since you're sleeping with her,
does she pay you more?
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- No.
- Oh, don't get down.
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She probably bought you lunch
or something, right?
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- Got me a large root beer, baby.
- Well, there you go.
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- Where's Travis?
- He's in the clubhouse with the boys.
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You know, Shepp, Donnie,
Bitch-Slap Harris.
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T-Man, your ride's here.
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Hey, Mom. Look. Look what
Donnie drew. He's a tattoo artist.
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He mostly draws snakes doing
horrible things to naked chicks.
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- Aww.
- Although this looks consensual.
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She doesn't look happy, Travis.
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Good to see you, Donnie,
Shepp, Carl.
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Jules, you know you can call me
"Bitch-Slap."
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I'm choosing not to.
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Travis, I just wanna talk
to your dad for a second.
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- Oh, man.
- Uh-oh. She's got the fake smile face.
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What fake smile? This isn't
a fake smile. I'm just happy.
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But it turns out
he's a good influence on them!
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Normally, they're drunk by now.
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Bobby, what are you doing
wasting your time in there?
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You were a pro golfer! Sort of.
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Your lessons are starting to pick up,
free root beers are rolling in.
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If you just worked hard,
you could go
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from being the guy that works
part-time at a public course
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to head pro at the country club.
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This is my kingdom, J-Bird.
I mean, look at this plaque over here.
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Oh, God, not the plaque. Can we
just once not talk about the plaque?
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They put this up
when I shot the course record.
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- And we're off.
- Robert "Bobby" Cobb.
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People see this, Jules,
and they respect it.
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- Hey, Champ!
- Excuse me.
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- What can I do you for, bud?
- Good boy, Champ.
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Good boy, Champ.
Such a good Champ!
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Oh.
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It sucks you're so tired.
Why do you work so hard?
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- I really wanted to see you tonight.
- Me too.
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So, what are you wearing?
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I'm in bed, Josh, so the usual.
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I've got on a tiny, pink,
see-through nightie.
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I'm wearing matching underwear
with tiny bows on the side.
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One tug makes them fall right off.
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I could be there in five minutes.
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Oh, sweetie, I'm just too tired.
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I'm sorry. Good night.
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What happened
with the boy toy last night?
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I knew I had to work early,
so I blew him off.
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Which was so dumb,
because I stayed up until 1:00
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watching this infomercial about cream
that makes your breasts firmer.
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Don't worry. I got you one too.
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Thanks, but I got up early 'cause
I thought I was gonna get a sex story.
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No.
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No more blowing off fun stuff
for work. That's insane.
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Oh, and I swear,
if you don't stop with the hazelnut,
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- I'm gonna start making my own coffee.
- No, you won't.
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You're right, I won't.
Even saying it was too much work.
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- Eight o'clock. Where is Laurie?
- Well, if I'm guessing,
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she's passed out
under some loser who's naked
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- except for his hat on backwards.
- Charming.
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Hey, Laurie, it's 8:00. Where are you?
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I'm pulling up. Come outside.
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OK, I'm outside. You're not here.
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I am. You just can't see me.
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Give me two minutes.
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Hey, paper buddy, do you golf?
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Oh, good. We're playing
the obvious question game.
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I'm great at this.
Do you ever wear white dresses?
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Seriously, do you golf with other guys?
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Do you ever carry folders right here?
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- Hi.
- Don't say hi to me. I'm mad at you.
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Look, I think it would be good for my
ex-husband to make some new friends.
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And I think it would be good for you
to, well, have a friend.
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No, no. No radio.
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- What am I supposed to do?
- I don't care what you do, Laurie!
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You're being punished!
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Anyway,
you and Bobby should play golf.
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Oh, well, I'm currently not looking
to get set up on a playdate.
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Normally I'd listen to your blah-blah,
but right now I have to go show a house.
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So here's the deal.
Bobby's a good guy.
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You can either play golf with him now
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or play with him three weeks from now
after I've spent all this time
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just grinding you down
by talking and talking and talking.
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You'll wonder if I'll ever need
to take a breath, but I won't.
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I was a swimmer in high school,
and I'll just talk and talk and talk...
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Fine.
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Thank God.
I thought I was gonna pass out.
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Now you're making us late.
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Are you driving in your panties?
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I was air-drying my skirt and it got
away from me! You made me rush.
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Oh, dear Lord.
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- Yes! I got it, I got it!
- That was awesome!
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You don't get to celebrate.
I'm still mad.
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All right, I'm over it.
Did you see that?
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- You rock!
- Whoo!
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Of course Laurie was late again.
She's a slaggy, dumb-ass townie.
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You are a very angry person.
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- You chose to be here.
- Stop it.
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I wanted to see the outfit
I got her for her first open house.
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Ta-da!
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Oh, my God. You look amazing.
Really, I am so proud of you.
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Stop, don't make me cry.
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So dummy screws up again,
and she gets rewarded?
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Ellie, I have been so busy working,
I'm too tired to even see Josh.
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So Laurie's gonna take over
some of my workload.
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You're the one who said,
"Make more time for fun."
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Aw, thanks for my promotion, Ellie.
So sweet of you.
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All right, do me a favor.
Give us a jump.
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- Whoa.
- OK. Clearly, the bra's not working.
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You're selling real estate. You want
a little jiggle for the husband,
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but you don't want
too much for the wife.
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I could duct tape these bad boys
and there'd still be too much jiggle.
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- Stupid hazelnut.
- There you go. Here, problem solved.
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- You're mean!
- I'll get over it.
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Here's the kind of bra
you're looking for. See?
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Pow! Check out the support.
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Oh, hey, Trav.
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Shirt down, then "Hey, Trav."
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- Sorry. Hey, Trav.
- Too late. Scarred for life.
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Oh, calm down.
These used to feed you.
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OK, I'm gonna go change.
I feel creepy with my knees covered.
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What are you doing?
She's the world's worst assistant.
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No, she's not. She just needs
someone to believe in her.
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She's probably bored answering phones.
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She's like those kids in school that get
F's because they're just not challenged.
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Sometimes kids get F's
because they're stupid.
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- Stop doing that!
- Stop talking.
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- What?
- No, no.
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There he is!
Grayson, the son of Gray.
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- You mind if I call you G-Man?
- I do. Very much.
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Brr! No, I get it.
We hardly know each other.
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That's the beautiful thing
about golf, G-Man.
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You can swing sticks with just about
anybody. I golfed with this dude
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who got out of the hospital
for a fractured skull,
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and he had one of those
giant metal halo-looking things
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screwed to his head, I kid you not.
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That thing must have weighed
40 pounds.
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He collapsed on the third green.
Hot day, very hot day.
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So you and Jules both like to chat.
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Oh! Boo-ya!
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That thing's not coming down for a while
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if you wanna go catch a movie
or something.
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Sweet shot, stud. I'll go spot it.
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What the hell was that?
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Andy doesn't golf.
He just comes out here to cheer me on
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and beverage me and whatnot.
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Just keeps getting better.
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Now, staging an open house
is all about making it feel comfortable.
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You can never have
too many bowls of wooden fruit.
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- Why does that work?
- Nobody knows. It just does.
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OK, we're gonna put this bowl
right here.
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Jules! Go, have fun with Josh.
I can do this.
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- Of course you can. Bye, sweetie.
- OK.
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- Not there!
- Go!
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You look just as amazing
as I've imagined...
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- every single night.
- - Oh, God.
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That was so sexy,
I made a weird noise.
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Oh, it's so good to see you.
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00:09:19,456 --> 00:09:23,222
- What's with the grandma hand-pat?
- I'm just not big on PDA.
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I feel like you're embarrassed by me
or something.
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00:09:25,729 --> 00:09:29,165
No. Josh, this is my crazy. Uh-uh.
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00:09:29,199 --> 00:09:31,690
- What can I do to make it better?
- Kiss me.
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Right here in front of God
and everyone.
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00:09:33,904 --> 00:09:36,031
Oh, I'm not gonna kiss
in front of God.
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00:09:36,073 --> 00:09:38,906
- What do you think?
- Give me a sec.
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00:09:38,942 --> 00:09:41,775
- What do I think?
- You think you're a grown woman,
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00:09:41,812 --> 00:09:43,837
and you can kiss
whoever you wanna kiss.
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00:09:44,548 --> 00:09:46,641
I'll tell you what you think, Jules.
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00:09:46,683 --> 00:09:49,948
Tongue that boy down. He's hot!
194
00:09:49,986 --> 00:09:51,920
That is another very valid point.
195
00:09:51,955 --> 00:09:55,652
Nezzie, get off the sofa. You're
getting body glitter on the pillows.
196
00:09:55,692 --> 00:09:59,128
- Ignoring that. How's it coming?
- I think I'm done.
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00:09:59,162 --> 00:10:00,789
You know what I do
when I think I'm done?
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00:10:00,831 --> 00:10:02,822
- Leave?
- No.
199
00:10:02,866 --> 00:10:05,699
I sit there for another hour,
and I just soak up the vibe.
200
00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:09,068
Sometimes you come up with a special
touch that takes it to the next level.
201
00:10:09,106 --> 00:10:11,336
Vibe-soaking, special touch. Got it.
202
00:10:12,375 --> 00:10:15,401
Come on. Dale's barbecue
started over an hour ago.
203
00:10:15,445 --> 00:10:17,811
- Don't you wanna go?
- Of course I do.
204
00:10:17,848 --> 00:10:20,612
OK, do you remember Chrissy,
that skank Dale hooked up with,
205
00:10:20,650 --> 00:10:24,347
like, four years ago when we were
broken up? She's back from Afghanistan,
206
00:10:24,387 --> 00:10:26,878
and I'm gonna kick her ass
in front of everyone.
207
00:10:26,923 --> 00:10:29,551
That's why I got my fighting nails on.
208
00:10:29,593 --> 00:10:32,653
Never forget, Nezzie.
You never forget.
209
00:10:32,696 --> 00:10:34,994
Let's hit it.
210
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:41,159
You remind me of the statue
of David. He's nude.
211
00:10:42,572 --> 00:10:45,564
- Barb, what the hell are you doing?
- Oh, kitten, don't you know
212
00:10:45,609 --> 00:10:48,840
you should never leave
your luggage unattended.
213
00:10:48,879 --> 00:10:52,610
All right, keep it moving. OK,
let's both just try to shake that off.
214
00:10:52,649 --> 00:10:56,244
- I can't.
- All right, the public kiss.
215
00:10:56,286 --> 00:10:59,847
I've been doing some soul-searching,
and I am in.
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00:10:59,890 --> 00:11:00,982
Great.
217
00:11:02,225 --> 00:11:04,159
First, can we talk about
the way you kiss?
218
00:11:04,194 --> 00:11:05,286
Say what now?
219
00:11:05,328 --> 00:11:07,558
You opened the door
by bringing up the kissing,
220
00:11:07,597 --> 00:11:09,588
and, well, honestly,
I've been trying to work my way
221
00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:11,726
into that conversation for days.
222
00:11:11,768 --> 00:11:13,167
Good.
223
00:11:13,203 --> 00:11:16,798
You are fantastic on the neck.
Seriously, kudos.
224
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,865
However...
225
00:11:18,909 --> 00:11:20,206
All right.
226
00:11:22,112 --> 00:11:23,670
Pretend this is my mouth, OK?
227
00:11:23,713 --> 00:11:26,546
You wanna use less tongue.
You're not a cow at a salt lick.
228
00:11:27,984 --> 00:11:30,316
You know, that's just so sloppy.
No one wants that.
229
00:11:30,353 --> 00:11:34,289
Now, pretend that you're
a curious little garden snake.
230
00:11:37,861 --> 00:11:39,829
I got this, I got this.
231
00:11:42,766 --> 00:11:46,600
OK, now your tongue peeks in,
gets spooked and then it's out.
232
00:11:46,636 --> 00:11:49,833
That's it. OK, now, work that tongue.
No, no, no. No cow.
233
00:11:49,873 --> 00:11:52,842
Little garden snake. Little snake.
234
00:11:52,876 --> 00:11:55,572
Work it. Oh, there you go. OK.
235
00:11:55,612 --> 00:11:58,979
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Travis!
236
00:11:59,015 --> 00:12:01,483
My goodness!
This is my friend Josh.
237
00:12:02,319 --> 00:12:05,516
- He eats weird.
- He does.
238
00:12:05,555 --> 00:12:08,115
Anyway, just saw you, wanted to say hi.
239
00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:12,221
But now I don't.
Didn't mean to interrupt.
240
00:12:12,262 --> 00:12:16,221
- Interrupt what? Travis.
- Bye, Mom.
241
00:12:16,266 --> 00:12:18,234
Good luck with that apple, Josh.
242
00:12:22,372 --> 00:12:23,737
Kaboom!
243
00:12:23,773 --> 00:12:26,469
Oh, Ellie hates it when I hang
with Bobby, so do me a solid
244
00:12:26,509 --> 00:12:28,443
and don't mention this
next time you talk to her.
245
00:12:28,478 --> 00:12:31,538
The only time I ever spoke to your wife,
she told me she'd, and I quote,
246
00:12:31,581 --> 00:12:34,880
"pay someone to do me prison style"
if I didn't bring my trash cans in.
247
00:12:34,918 --> 00:12:36,351
- So we're cool.
- I am.
248
00:12:36,386 --> 00:12:38,217
You're married to a scary person.
249
00:12:41,458 --> 00:12:44,256
Oh, oh, oh!
Something's hinky with your swing.
250
00:12:46,463 --> 00:12:48,522
- What are you doing?
- Making magic. Trust me.
251
00:12:49,933 --> 00:12:52,367
Man, you smell nice. I'm kidding.
252
00:12:53,970 --> 00:12:56,438
All right, use that stance.
253
00:12:58,441 --> 00:12:59,567
Whoo!
254
00:12:59,609 --> 00:13:02,169
Wow! Thanks, man.
255
00:13:02,212 --> 00:13:05,204
- You gonna go spot my shot?
- I'm not your bitch.
256
00:13:09,352 --> 00:13:11,786
And regrouped. OK, let's do this.
257
00:13:11,821 --> 00:13:14,381
- Seriously?
- Just close your eyes.
258
00:13:16,226 --> 00:13:19,593
All right, just a little snake.
Just a little snake.
259
00:13:21,531 --> 00:13:24,466
I went to a party,
and I got a bloody nose.
260
00:13:24,501 --> 00:13:26,332
What? How?
261
00:13:26,369 --> 00:13:30,601
I underestimated the fighting skills
of one of our nation's finest soldiers.
262
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:33,336
But I picked myself up,
and I went back to the house,
263
00:13:33,376 --> 00:13:35,674
you know, just to special-touch it?
264
00:13:35,712 --> 00:13:39,944
Jules, I did not know
that their son would be here.
265
00:13:39,983 --> 00:13:43,475
Someone really needs to tell that kid
not to sneak up behind people.
266
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:44,817
How bad is it?
267
00:13:44,854 --> 00:13:46,481
It's not good.
268
00:13:57,213 --> 00:14:00,410
I am so sorry. I got you a treat.
269
00:14:00,450 --> 00:14:04,887
Do you think a pastry is gonna make up
for ruining my one day off with Josh?
270
00:14:04,921 --> 00:14:06,548
Because it's not.
271
00:14:07,490 --> 00:14:08,787
Is that a cranberry scone?
272
00:14:09,859 --> 00:14:12,589
I'm fishing that out only because
there is nothing else in the trash can
273
00:14:12,629 --> 00:14:15,359
- except for gum, and that was mine.
- Jules, I can explain.
274
00:14:15,398 --> 00:14:18,526
You beat their son's face in
with a wooden banana!
275
00:14:18,568 --> 00:14:20,468
I thought he was an intruder!
276
00:14:20,503 --> 00:14:23,700
And I already used all my pepper spray
on my neighbor's stupid cat!
277
00:14:23,740 --> 00:14:27,039
Why are you freaking out?
This was an accident.
278
00:14:27,076 --> 00:14:29,169
Look, I did a great job
staging that house.
279
00:14:29,212 --> 00:14:30,975
I just went back to add the flowers
because...
280
00:14:31,014 --> 00:14:33,005
That's the difference between you and I.
281
00:14:33,049 --> 00:14:35,813
I would never have left
unless the job was finished.
282
00:14:35,852 --> 00:14:39,288
- That is so unfair.
- What are you doing?
283
00:14:39,322 --> 00:14:42,450
I bought an ugly, no-jiggle bra
and you didn't even notice.
284
00:14:42,492 --> 00:14:44,323
I was gonna take it off
and throw it at you
285
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,851
but it has, like, 20 hooks,
so just forget it!
286
00:14:47,430 --> 00:14:50,126
So now you're mad at me?
That's what's happening.
287
00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:53,158
Did I miss it? She looked devastated.
Tell me everything.
288
00:14:55,572 --> 00:14:56,937
Need one!
289
00:14:59,108 --> 00:15:01,599
- That's pretty great service.
- Thanks.
290
00:15:01,644 --> 00:15:05,478
- Hey, you do really smell nice.
- Yeah? New cologne.
291
00:15:05,515 --> 00:15:08,678
- I wasn't sure.
- No, it's good. It's musky.
292
00:15:08,718 --> 00:15:10,208
Now go sink this.
293
00:15:11,588 --> 00:15:15,547
No! No, no, no, no. If he sinks this,
he's gonna break your course record.
294
00:15:15,592 --> 00:15:16,616
Really?
295
00:15:18,628 --> 00:15:21,756
Noonan! Mm-baa!
296
00:15:21,798 --> 00:15:24,164
- Distraction!
- Really?
297
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,636
No more. All right.
Go on, G-Man, drain it.
298
00:15:30,874 --> 00:15:32,967
No!
299
00:15:33,943 --> 00:15:34,967
Yes!
300
00:15:36,112 --> 00:15:37,477
- Nice round.
- Thank you.
301
00:15:37,513 --> 00:15:39,743
What the hell were you thinking?
302
00:15:39,782 --> 00:15:43,741
Do you know how much his self-esteem
is tied to that stupid record?
303
00:15:43,786 --> 00:15:46,482
Relax, banana pants. He was just fine.
304
00:15:48,758 --> 00:15:50,623
What are you looking at?
305
00:15:54,797 --> 00:15:58,198
OK, thanks to dummy here,
we have a family crisis.
306
00:15:58,234 --> 00:16:02,364
Bobby's best quality is that
he's always upbeat. Mr. Sunshine.
307
00:16:02,405 --> 00:16:05,636
But let's all remember those
rare times when he was depressed.
308
00:16:05,675 --> 00:16:07,939
Like that time he tried
to karate-chop a coconut
309
00:16:07,977 --> 00:16:09,604
and couldn't play golf for three months?
310
00:16:09,646 --> 00:16:13,480
Exactly. I mean, I think we've all had
those late night heart-to-hearts
311
00:16:13,516 --> 00:16:16,952
with a drunk, crying man
in his underwear. That's not fun.
312
00:16:16,986 --> 00:16:19,250
That train's coming back, people.
313
00:16:19,289 --> 00:16:21,621
So I put out some food,
but this thing snuck up on me
314
00:16:21,658 --> 00:16:23,751
so all I had is some old carrots,
some whole wheat waffles
315
00:16:23,793 --> 00:16:26,455
- and a brick of pepper jack.
- I'll split a waffle with someone.
316
00:16:26,496 --> 00:16:29,158
- Yes, please.
- Are you sure this thing's in range?
317
00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:31,257
Stan sounds like an old Italian woman.
318
00:16:31,301 --> 00:16:32,768
So is this what you people do?
319
00:16:32,802 --> 00:16:36,294
Bottom feed out of the fridge and talk
about me beating a grown man in golf?
320
00:16:36,339 --> 00:16:38,364
- You and Bobby played golf today?
- Stop it.
321
00:16:38,408 --> 00:16:40,638
I'll hit that cheese
if no one's going there.
322
00:16:40,677 --> 00:16:41,905
Who's that guy?
323
00:16:41,945 --> 00:16:44,505
He's just a very nice, new,
special friend.
324
00:16:44,547 --> 00:16:47,778
My mom's dating him, but it's easier
for her to act like I don't know.
325
00:16:47,817 --> 00:16:51,048
Then do that, Travis.
All right, back to Bobby.
326
00:16:51,087 --> 00:16:54,113
- How can we fix this?
- I could take him to Vegas.
327
00:16:54,157 --> 00:16:55,920
You're done. Go check on Stan.
328
00:16:57,694 --> 00:17:01,130
- Can't this guy just say he cheated?
- Great idea, new dad.
329
00:17:01,164 --> 00:17:02,756
- Dude!
- Dude.
330
00:17:02,799 --> 00:17:06,326
Fantastic. Wow,
but I gotta go to work.
331
00:17:06,369 --> 00:17:09,270
Adiós, crazy people.
I'm taking a waffle.
332
00:17:09,305 --> 00:17:12,672
- Waffles are for helpers!
- Dude, gotta go.
333
00:17:12,709 --> 00:17:14,870
- Good times, Mom.
- I probably should get going.
334
00:17:14,911 --> 00:17:17,846
You are coming with me.
Come on.
335
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,405
All right, we're going right back
to where we left off.
336
00:17:20,450 --> 00:17:24,386
Public-style kissing will happen today.
I've just got one thing to do.
337
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:27,719
- Jules, I'm sad.
- OK, two things to do.
338
00:17:30,793 --> 00:17:34,627
You broke him, you fix him.
Come on, Josh. Try to keep up.
339
00:17:37,033 --> 00:17:39,194
Jules said you'd make me some soup.
340
00:17:39,235 --> 00:17:41,999
- Soup?
- Soup!
341
00:17:44,207 --> 00:17:47,370
- Hey. Can I talk to you for a second?
- Sure.
342
00:17:49,145 --> 00:17:52,478
Wow, you flopped down on that chair
and you barely had any jiggle at all.
343
00:17:52,515 --> 00:17:54,847
It's because I can't get
this stupid bra off.
344
00:17:54,884 --> 00:17:57,079
Apparently, you have to wear it forever.
345
00:17:57,120 --> 00:18:00,578
Do you wanna know why I lost my kinkies
at you about that open house?
346
00:18:00,623 --> 00:18:02,784
Yeah, so you could
spend more time with him.
347
00:18:02,825 --> 00:18:04,793
No, stay out there.
348
00:18:05,828 --> 00:18:07,762
Yes, I do want
to take more time for myself.
349
00:18:07,797 --> 00:18:09,992
Now, I have earned that.
350
00:18:10,033 --> 00:18:14,094
But... All right, I'm gonna get
a little corny and brace yourself.
351
00:18:15,204 --> 00:18:16,228
Ready.
352
00:18:16,272 --> 00:18:18,502
You remind me of me
when I was younger.
353
00:18:18,541 --> 00:18:21,203
You do. You have all this potential,
354
00:18:21,244 --> 00:18:23,872
and you don't realize you could do
anything with your life.
355
00:18:23,913 --> 00:18:25,881
I just want you
to want more for yourself.
356
00:18:25,915 --> 00:18:27,348
I do!
357
00:18:27,383 --> 00:18:31,012
I went to a party with
a professional-grade margarita machine,
358
00:18:31,054 --> 00:18:35,115
and I left because I cared about
doing a good job! That's a first!
359
00:18:35,158 --> 00:18:36,853
Oh, come here.
360
00:18:38,861 --> 00:18:41,625
Ow! Wow! That is a sharp, pointy bra.
361
00:18:41,664 --> 00:18:44,292
I know! They're like
freaking traffic cones!
362
00:18:45,802 --> 00:18:47,292
Come here.
363
00:18:49,005 --> 00:18:50,734
Pretty good soup.
364
00:18:50,773 --> 00:18:53,298
I just microwaved Bloody Mary mix.
365
00:18:54,010 --> 00:18:56,240
- Still tasty.
- Yeah.
366
00:19:07,890 --> 00:19:10,256
You know what, man? I don't...
367
00:19:11,694 --> 00:19:13,719
I don't generally like...
368
00:19:13,763 --> 00:19:16,789
well... people.
369
00:19:18,835 --> 00:19:21,804
But I had a good time
golfing with you today.
370
00:19:24,307 --> 00:19:26,935
Thanks, brother. Seriously.
371
00:19:32,115 --> 00:19:34,140
So you live on a boat in a parking lot?
372
00:19:34,183 --> 00:19:37,243
- Yes, indeedy.
- What, did you lose a bet?
373
00:19:37,286 --> 00:19:39,948
Uh, I won a bet.
374
00:19:40,490 --> 00:19:41,514
Yeah.
375
00:19:41,557 --> 00:19:44,685
I know you had an appointment
with Ms. Cobb, but she's indisposed,
376
00:19:44,727 --> 00:19:46,194
so I'll be taking care of you.
377
00:19:47,330 --> 00:19:49,264
I love you, Jules!
378
00:19:49,298 --> 00:19:50,822
I believe in you, Laurie!
379
00:19:50,867 --> 00:19:53,631
I don't completely, but they're not
huge clients so it's no biggie.
380
00:19:53,669 --> 00:19:55,967
And to prove that I'm not
embarrassed by you,
381
00:19:56,005 --> 00:19:58,337
I've brought along a very good friend.
382
00:19:58,374 --> 00:20:00,968
Best friend. I'm your best friend.
I'm her best friend.
383
00:20:01,010 --> 00:20:04,537
- Oh, please. I'm her best friend.
- Laurie, get back to the Jacobsons!
384
00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:06,605
They're only buying a condo.
385
00:20:06,649 --> 00:20:09,345
OK. Are you ready?
386
00:20:09,385 --> 00:20:10,409
Yes.
387
00:20:13,356 --> 00:20:15,256
OK. Judge away.
388
00:20:24,167 --> 00:20:26,863
- Thank you.
- Anytime.
389
00:20:26,903 --> 00:20:29,269
He kisses with a perfect seal
around your mouth
390
00:20:29,305 --> 00:20:30,863
like he's trying to suck
your brains out.
391
00:20:30,907 --> 00:20:33,876
- But he's gotten so much better.
- That's better?
392
00:20:33,910 --> 00:20:35,935
I'm gonna go get us some more drinks.
393
00:20:36,979 --> 00:20:39,447
Oh, hey, sweetie,
see if they've got an apple.
394
00:20:40,683 --> 00:20:42,548
Sweetie, two apples.
395
00:20:51,898 --> 00:20:54,332
We're never gonna tell anybody
about this, right?
396
00:20:54,367 --> 00:20:57,564
- Never.
- Man up. Let's go.
397
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,873
Ooh! Hot damn, man! Cosmos are good!
398
00:21:03,910 --> 00:21:05,400
They're divine.
399
00:21:06,079 --> 00:21:09,606
- Hey, sorry about your record.
- It was probably for the best.
400
00:21:09,649 --> 00:21:13,346
I'm 40. It's about time I find
something new to hang my hat on.
401
00:21:13,386 --> 00:21:15,547
It may not be this week
or even this year,
402
00:21:15,588 --> 00:21:17,453
but mark my words, I will find it.
403
00:21:17,490 --> 00:21:19,185
You go, girl.
404
00:21:19,225 --> 00:21:22,717
It might be darts.
I'm pretty good at darts.
405
00:21:26,933 --> 00:21:29,094
Look at that guy pick himself up.
406
00:21:29,135 --> 00:21:31,535
That's a hero.
407
00:21:31,571 --> 00:21:33,198
A golden hero.
408
00:21:33,239 --> 00:21:35,264
You are one weird cat.
409
00:21:35,308 --> 00:21:37,071
Oh.