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"You Wreck Me"
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Translated: VeRdiKT & honeybunny
[Addic7ed.com]
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Oh.
Check out these poseurs.
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00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:14,525
"Dude, how much
do you love my Greco-
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"and super-groomed sideburns?
I call them my douche-burns."
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"Did you see
my giant leather man-bracelet?
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"I got it because
my vest with no shirt
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"just needed a little somethin'.
And let's high-five.
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Yeah! We did it!"
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Okay, it's 6:00.
I'm heading home.
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No, wait. You can't quit.
I said the last mean thing.
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You always do this! That's why
I don't play Ugly Baby with you anymore.
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Now I'm just gonna spiral all day
because I'm a horrible person.
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Well, that's your insane cross
to bear. Come on. Let's go.
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Oh, so much work
to do at home.
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Oh, we have an early showing
tomorrow, so pick me up at 8:00,
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not 8-ish, not 8djacent.
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And calling me at 8:00
from 20 minutes away
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saying, "Come out. I'm here"
also doesn't count.
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You have a lot of rules.
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Hi.
I'm really, really sorry.
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I'm not comfortable telling you why,
but I just need to put it out there, okay?
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And that's a great bracelet,
by the way. Bye.
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Don't look at me.
That was your fault.
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I know you like moving those hips, Sheila,
so put that torque in your swing, okay?
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See you next week.
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Since you're sleeping with her,
does she pay you more?
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- No.
- Oh, don't get down.
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- She probably bought you lunch or something, right?
- Got me a large root beer, baby.
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Well, there you go.
Where's Travis?
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He's in the clubhouse with the boys:
Shepp, Donnie, Bitch-Slap Harris.
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T-Man, your ride's here.
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Hey, Mom, look. Look what Donnie
drew. He's a tattoo artist.
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He mostly draws snakes doing
horrible things to naked chicks.
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- Although, this-- this looks consensual.
- She doesn't look happy, Travis.
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Good to see you, Donnie,
Shepp, Carl.
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Jules, you know you can
call me Bitch-Slap.
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I'm choosing not to.
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Travis, I just wanna talk
to your dad for a second.
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Oh, man.
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Uh-oh, she's got
the fake smile face.
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What fake smile? This isn't
a fake smile. I'm just happy.
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All right, Cobb,
here's the deal.
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I know. You think the fellas
are a bad influence on Travis.
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But it turns out,
he's a good influence on them.
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Normally,
they're drunk by now.
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Bobby, what are you doing
wasting your time in there?
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You were a pro golfer...
sort of.
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Your lessons
are starting to pick up.
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Free root beers
are rolling in.
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If you just worked hard,
you could go from being the guy
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that works part-time
at a public course
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to the head pro
at the country club.
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This is my kingdom, J-Bird.
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- I mean, look at this plaque over here.
- Oh, God, not the plaque.
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- Can we just once not talk about the plaque?
- They put this up when I shot the course record.
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And we're off.
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Robert "Bobby" Cobb. People see this,
Jules, and they respect it.
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- Hey, champ!
- Excuse me.
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What can I do you for, bud?
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Good boy, champ. Good boy, champ.
Such a good champ.
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It sucks you're so tired.
Why do you work so hard?
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- I really wanna see you tonight.
- Me, too.
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So... what are you wearing?
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I'm in bed, Josh,
so the usual.
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I've got on a tiny pink
see-through nightie.
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I'm wearing mahing underwear
with tiny bows on the side.
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One tug makes them fall...
right... off.
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I could be there
in five minutes.
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Oh, sweetie,
I'm just too tired.
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I'm sorry. Good night.
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What happened with the boy toy
last night?
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Oh, I knew I had to work early
so I blew him off,
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which was so dumb,
because I stayed up till 1:00
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watching this infomercial
about this cream
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that makes your breasts firmer.
Don't worry. I got one, too.
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Thanks, but I got up early
'cause I thought
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- I was gonna get a sex story.
- No.
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No more blowing off fun stuff
for work. That's insane.
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Oh, and I swear, if you don't
stop with the hazelnut,
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- I'm gonna start making my own coffee.
- No, you won't.
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- You're right. I won't. Even saying it was too much work.
- 8:00. Where is Laurie?
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Well, if I'm guessing,
she's passed out under some loser
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who's naked except
for his hat on backwards.
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Charming. Hey, Laurie,
it's 8:00. Where are you?
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I'm pulling up.
Come outside.
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Okay, I'm outside.
You're not here.
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I am. You just can't see me.
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Give me two minutes.
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Hey, paper bud,
do you golf?
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Oh, good. We're playing
the obvious question game.
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I'm great at this.
Do you ever wear white dresses?
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Seriously, do you golf
with other guys?
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Do you ever carry folders
right here?
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Hi.
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You know, don't say "hi" to me.
I'm mad at you.
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Look, I think it would be good for
my ex-husband to make some new friends,
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and I think it would be good
for you to, well, have a friend.
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No, no, no radio.
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I don't care what you do,
Laurie! You're being punished!
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Anyway, you and Bobby
should play golf.
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Oh, well, I'm currently not looking
to get set up on a playdate.
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All right, normally,
I'd listen to your blah-blah,
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but right now I have to go show
a use. So here's the deal.
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Bobby's a good guy. You can
either play golf with him now
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or you can play with him three weeks
from now after I've spent all this time
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coming over here just grinding you down
and by talking and talking and talking.
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And you wonder if I'll ever need
to take a breath, but I won't,
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'cause I was a swimmer in high school
and I'll just talk and talk...
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Fine.
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- Thank God. I thought I was gonna pass out.
- Now you're making us late.
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- Are you driving in your panties?
- I was air-drying my skirt, and it got away frome.
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You made me rush.
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Oh dear Lord!
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- Yes! I got it! I got it!
- That was awesome!
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You don't get to celebrate.
I'm still mad.
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- All right, I'm over it.
- Did you see that?
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Of course, Laurie was late again.
She's a slaggy, dumb-ass townie.
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You are
a very angry person.
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- You chose to be here.
- Stop it.
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I wanted to see the outfit I got
her for her first open house.
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Oh, my God. You look amazing.
Really, I am so proud of you.
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Stop.
Don't make me cry.
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So dummy screws up again
and she gets rewarded?
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Ellie, I've been so busy
working,
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I'm too tired
to even see Josh.
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So Laurie's gonna take over
some of my workload.
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You were the one who said
make more time for fun.
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Aw, thanks for my promotion,
Ellie. So sweet of you.
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All right, do me a favor.
Give us a jump.
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Okay. Clearly,
the bra's not working.
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You're selling real estate. You want
a little jiggle for the husband, sure,
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but you don't want too much
for the wife.
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I could duct-tape these bad boys,
and there'd still be too much jiggle.
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Stupid hazelnut.
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Oh, there you go.
Here, problem solved.
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- You're mean.
- I'll get over it.
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Okay, here's the kind of bra
you're looking for.
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See? Pow!
Check out the support.
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- Oh, hey, Trav.
- Shirt down, then "hey, Trav."
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Sorry. Hey, Trav.
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Too late.
Scarred for life.
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Oh, calm down.
These used to feed you.
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Okay, I'm gonna go change.
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I feel creepy
with my knees covered.
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What are you doing?
She's the world's worst assistant.
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00:07:14,369 --> 00:07:16,747
No, she's not. She just needs
someone to believe in her.
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00:07:16,782 --> 00:07:18,801
She's probably bored
answering phones.
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She's like those kids
in school that--
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00:07:20,623 --> 00:07:22,755
that get F's because
they're just not challenged.
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00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:26,268
Sometimes kids get F's
because they're stupid.
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- Stop doing that.
- Stop talking.
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00:07:28,569 --> 00:07:30,469
- What--
- No, nope.
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00:07:31,078 --> 00:07:34,451
There he is--
Grayson, the son of Gray.
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00:07:34,486 --> 00:07:35,912
Mind if I call you "G-Man"?
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I do, very much.
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Brr. No, I get it.
We hardly know each other,
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but that's the beautiful thing
about golf, G-Man.
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00:07:42,607 --> 00:07:45,023
You can swing sticks
with just about anybody.
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00:07:45,058 --> 00:07:46,928
I once golfed with this dude
who got out of the hospital
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00:07:46,929 --> 00:07:49,277
with a fractured skull,
and he had one of those
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00:07:49,312 --> 00:07:52,581
giant metal halo-looking things
screwed to his head.
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I kid you not. That thing
must have weighed 40 pounds.
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He collapsed on the third green.
Hot day. Very hot day.
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So you and Jules
both like to chat.
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Boo-yah! Hat thing's not coming down for a while
if you wanna go catch a movie or somethin'
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sweet shot, stud.
I'll go spot it!
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00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:14,863
What the hell was that?
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00:08:14,864 --> 00:08:17,862
Oh, Andy don't golf. He just
comes out here to cheer me on
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and, um, beverage me
and whatnot.
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Just keeps getting better.
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00:08:24,381 --> 00:08:27,787
Now staging an open house
is all about making it feel comfortable.
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00:08:27,822 --> 00:08:31,743
Little tip: You can never have
too many bowls of wooden fit.
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- Why does that work?
- Nobody knows. It just does.
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00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,380
Okay, I'm gonna put this bowl
right here.
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00:08:36,381 --> 00:08:39,402
Jules, go! Have fun with Josh.
I can do this.
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00:08:39,437 --> 00:08:42,410
Of course you can.
Now bye, sweetie.
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- Not there!
- Go!
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00:08:47,052 --> 00:08:49,849
You look just as amazing
as I've imagined...
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every single night.
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00:08:53,208 --> 00:08:57,373
Oh, God. That was so sexy,
I made a weird noise.
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00:08:59,282 --> 00:09:02,109
Oh, it's so good
to see you.
183
00:09:03,639 --> 00:09:05,539
What's with
the grandma hand-pat?
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00:09:05,561 --> 00:09:07,358
I'm just not big
on PDA.
185
00:09:07,359 --> 00:09:09,349
I feel like you're embarrassed
by me or something.
186
00:09:09,384 --> 00:09:11,946
No! Josh,
this is my crazy.
187
00:09:11,981 --> 00:09:14,390
What can I do
to make it better?
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00:09:14,425 --> 00:09:17,356
Kiss me, right here
in front of God and everyone.
189
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,761
I'm not gonna kiss
in front of God.
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00:09:20,042 --> 00:09:22,588
- What do you think?
- Give me a sec.
191
00:09:22,623 --> 00:09:25,123
- What do I think?
- You think you're a grown woman,
192
00:09:25,158 --> 00:09:27,759
and you can kiss
whoever you wanna kiss.
193
00:09:27,794 --> 00:09:30,058
I'll tell you what you think,
Jules.
194
00:09:30,093 --> 00:09:33,042
Tongue that boy down.
He's hot!
195
00:09:33,077 --> 00:09:36,756
- That is another very valid point.
- Nezzie, get off the sofa.
196
00:09:36,791 --> 00:09:40,512
- You're getting body glitter on the pillows.
- Ignoring that. How's it coming?
197
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:42,120
I think I'm done.
198
00:09:42,121 --> 00:09:43,695
You know what I do
when I think I'm done?
199
00:09:43,696 --> 00:09:45,755
- Leave?
- No.
200
00:09:45,790 --> 00:09:48,478
I sit there for another hour
and I just soak up the vibe.
201
00:09:48,513 --> 00:09:51,569
Sometimes you come up with a special touch
that just takes it to the next level.
202
00:09:51,604 --> 00:09:54,524
Vibe-soaking,
special touch. Got it.
203
00:09:54,785 --> 00:09:57,792
Come on. Dale's barbecue
started over an hour ago.
204
00:09:57,827 --> 00:09:59,952
- Don't you wanna go?
- Of course I do.
205
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:03,076
Okay, do you remember Chrissy,
that skank Dale hooked up with,
206
00:10:03,111 --> 00:10:05,216
like, four years ago
when we were broken up?
207
00:10:05,251 --> 00:10:07,068
Well, she's back
from Afghanistan,
208
00:10:07,069 --> 00:10:09,278
and I'm gonna kick her ass
in front of everyone.
209
00:10:09,313 --> 00:10:11,397
That's why I got
my fightin' nails on.
210
00:10:11,432 --> 00:10:15,054
Never forget, Nezzie.
You never forget.
211
00:10:15,322 --> 00:10:17,634
Uhh! Let's hit it.
212
00:10:18,876 --> 00:10:21,761
You remind me
of the Statue of David.
213
00:10:21,796 --> 00:10:23,886
He's nude.
214
00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:26,524
Barb! What the hell
are you doing?
215
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:30,604
Oh, kitten, don't you know you should
never leave your luggage unattended?
216
00:10:30,639 --> 00:10:32,797
All right,
keep it moving.
217
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:35,532
- Okay, let's both just try to shake that off.
- I can't.
218
00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:37,939
All right,
the public kiss.
219
00:10:37,974 --> 00:10:39,874
I've been doing
some soul searching,
220
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:43,240
- and I am in.
- Great.
221
00:10:43,487 --> 00:10:45,732
But first, can we talk
about the way you kiss?
222
00:10:45,767 --> 00:10:47,331
Say what now?
223
00:10:47,332 --> 00:10:49,057
You open the door by bringing up
the kissing, and well,
224
00:10:49,058 --> 00:10:53,141
honestly, I've been trying to work my way
into that conversation for days.
225
00:10:53,176 --> 00:10:54,631
Huh. Good.
226
00:10:54,632 --> 00:10:57,825
You are fantastic on the neck.
Seriously, kudos.
227
00:10:57,860 --> 00:10:59,760
However...
228
00:10:59,977 --> 00:11:02,094
all right.
229
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:05,693
Pretend this is my mouth, okay?
You wanna use less tongue.
230
00:11:05,728 --> 00:11:08,691
You're not a cow
at a salt lick.
231
00:11:08,726 --> 00:11:11,078
You know, that's just so sloppy.
No one wants that.
232
00:11:11,113 --> 00:11:15,521
Now pretend that you're
a curious little garden snake.
233
00:11:18,233 --> 00:11:20,265
I got this. I got this.
Okay.
234
00:11:23,368 --> 00:11:28,148
Okay. And your tongue peeks in...
gets spooked and then it's out. That's it.
235
00:11:28,183 --> 00:11:30,170
Okay, now work that tongue.
No, no, no, no. No cow.
236
00:11:30,424 --> 00:11:32,976
Little garden snake.
Little snake.
237
00:11:33,011 --> 00:11:35,523
Work it.
Oh, there you go. Okay.
238
00:11:35,558 --> 00:11:37,299
Hi, mom.
239
00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:41,409
Hi, Travis! My goodness,
this is my friend Josh.
240
00:11:41,814 --> 00:11:45,356
- He eats weird.
- He does.
241
00:11:45,995 --> 00:11:48,042
Anyway, just saw you,
wanted to say hi.
242
00:11:49,174 --> 00:11:51,656
Uh, but now I don't.
Didn't mean to interrupt.
243
00:11:51,691 --> 00:11:54,304
What? Interrupt what?
Travis?
244
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:58,000
Bye, Mom. Good luck
with that apple, Josh.
245
00:12:03,330 --> 00:12:04,850
Ka-boom! Oh, Ellie hates it
when I hang with Bobby,
246
00:12:04,851 --> 00:12:07,338
so do me a solid and don't mention this
next time you talk to her.
247
00:12:07,373 --> 00:12:10,207
The only time I ever spoke to your wife,
she told me she'd--and I quote--
248
00:12:10,242 --> 00:12:12,279
pay someone to do me
prison style
249
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:13,744
if I didn't bring
my trash cans in.
250
00:12:13,745 --> 00:12:15,226
- So we're cool.
- I am.
251
00:12:15,227 --> 00:12:17,611
You're married
to a scary person.
252
00:12:20,554 --> 00:12:23,124
Whoa, something's hinky
with your swing.
253
00:12:24,882 --> 00:12:27,951
- What are you doing?
- I'm making magic, trust me.
254
00:12:28,197 --> 00:12:31,268
Man, you smell nice.
Kidding.
255
00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:35,487
All right. Use that stance.
256
00:12:39,494 --> 00:12:41,908
Thanks, man. You gonna go
spot my shot?
257
00:12:41,943 --> 00:12:43,937
I'm not your bitch.
258
00:12:47,332 --> 00:12:50,026
And regrouped.
Okay, let's do this.
259
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,863
- Seriously?
- Just close your eyes.
260
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:58,221
All right, just a little snake.
Just a little snake.
261
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,446
I went to a party
and I got a bloody nose.
262
00:13:02,481 --> 00:13:04,476
What? How?
263
00:13:04,511 --> 00:13:06,313
Well, I underestimated
the fighting skills
264
00:13:06,314 --> 00:13:08,863
of one of our nation's
finest soldiers.
265
00:13:08,898 --> 00:13:11,437
But I picked myself up
and I went back to the house,
266
00:13:11,472 --> 00:13:13,630
just to special-touch it.
267
00:13:13,665 --> 00:13:18,166
Jules, I did not know
that their son would be here.
268
00:13:18,201 --> 00:13:21,283
Someone really needs to tell that kid
not to sneak up behind people.
269
00:13:21,318 --> 00:13:25,626
- How bad is it?
- It's not good.
270
00:13:30,453 --> 00:13:34,406
I'm so sorry.
I got you a treat.
271
00:13:34,441 --> 00:13:38,501
Do you think a pastry is gonna make up
for ruining my one day off with Josh?
272
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:42,179
Because it's not!
Is that a cranberry scone?
273
00:13:42,450 --> 00:13:47,233
Okay, I'm fishing that out only because there's nothing else
in the trash can except for gum, and that was mine.
274
00:13:47,268 --> 00:13:48,928
Jules, I can explain.
275
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:51,682
You beat their son's face in
with a wooden banana!
276
00:13:51,717 --> 00:13:53,568
I thought
he was an intruder!
277
00:13:53,569 --> 00:13:56,663
And I already used all my pepper spray
on my neighbor's stupid cat.
278
00:13:56,698 --> 00:13:59,974
Why are you freaking out?
This was an accident.
279
00:14:00,009 --> 00:14:02,219
Look, I did a great job
staging that house.
280
00:14:02,254 --> 00:14:05,733
- I just went back to add the flowers because--
- That's the difference between you and I.
281
00:14:05,768 --> 00:14:08,712
I would never have left
unless the job was finished.
282
00:14:08,747 --> 00:14:11,868
- That is so unfair!
- What are you doing?
283
00:14:11,903 --> 00:14:15,462
I bought an ugly, no-jiggle bra,
and you didn't even notice.
284
00:14:15,497 --> 00:14:19,910
I was gonna take it off and throw it at you,
but it has, like, 20 hooks, so just forget it!
285
00:14:19,945 --> 00:14:22,401
Oh, so now you're mad at me!
That's what's happening?
286
00:14:22,551 --> 00:14:26,461
Did I miss it? She looked devastated.
Tell me everything!
287
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,835
Need one!
288
00:14:31,523 --> 00:14:33,348
That's a pretty great service.
289
00:14:33,349 --> 00:14:36,176
Thanks. Hey,
you do really smell nice.
290
00:14:36,211 --> 00:14:38,825
Yeah? New cologne.
I wasn't sure.
291
00:14:38,860 --> 00:14:42,435
Nah, it's good. It's musky.
All right, go sink this.
292
00:14:44,401 --> 00:14:45,943
No. No, no, no, no, no.
293
00:14:45,944 --> 00:14:47,720
If he sinks this, he's gonna
break your course record.
294
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:50,161
Really?
295
00:14:53,891 --> 00:14:56,106
- Distraction!
- Really?
296
00:14:56,141 --> 00:14:59,786
No more. All right, go on, G-Man.
Drain it.
297
00:15:02,304 --> 00:15:04,341
No!
298
00:15:05,422 --> 00:15:07,296
Yes!
299
00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:09,080
- Nice round.
- Thank you.
300
00:15:09,081 --> 00:15:11,184
What the hell were you thinking?
301
00:15:11,197 --> 00:15:14,875
Do you know how much his self-esteem
is tied to that stupid record?
302
00:15:14,910 --> 00:15:17,460
Relax, banana pants.
He was just fine.
303
00:15:20,078 --> 00:15:22,426
What are you looking at?
304
00:15:25,388 --> 00:15:28,728
Okay, thanks to dummy here,
we have a family crisis.
305
00:15:29,494 --> 00:15:33,014
Bobby's best quality is that
he's always upbeat-- Mr. Sunshine,
306
00:15:33,049 --> 00:15:36,255
but let's all remember those rare times
when he was depressed.
307
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,420
To karate chop a coconut, ied
308
00:15:38,445 --> 00:15:41,516
- and he couldn't play golf for three months?
- Exactly.
309
00:15:41,551 --> 00:15:43,890
I think we've all had those
late-night heart-to-hearts
310
00:15:43,925 --> 00:15:47,452
with a drunk, crying man
in his underwear. That's not fun!
311
00:15:47,487 --> 00:15:49,653
That train's
coming back, people.
312
00:15:49,688 --> 00:15:51,929
So I put out some food,
but this thing snuck up on me,
313
00:15:51,964 --> 00:15:53,367
so all I had
are some old carrots,
314
00:15:53,368 --> 00:15:55,314
some whole wheat waffles
and a brick of Pepper Jack.
315
00:15:55,349 --> 00:15:57,854
- I'll split a waffle with someone.
- Yes, please.
316
00:15:57,889 --> 00:15:59,304
You sure this thing's in range?
317
00:15:59,305 --> 00:16:02,550
- Stan sounds like an old Italian woman.
- Is this what you people do--
318
00:16:02,585 --> 00:16:05,053
bottom-feed out of the fridge
and talk about
319
00:16:05,088 --> 00:16:07,600
- me beating a grown man in golf?
- You and Bobby played golf today?
320
00:16:07,635 --> 00:16:10,542
- Stop it.
- I'll hit that cheese if no one's going there.
321
00:16:10,577 --> 00:16:12,159
Who's that guy?
322
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,192
He's just a very nice,
new, special friend.
323
00:16:14,227 --> 00:16:17,222
My mom's dating him, but it's easier
for her to act like I don't know.
324
00:16:17,257 --> 00:16:19,291
Then do that, Travis.
325
00:16:19,326 --> 00:16:21,976
All right, back to Bobby.
How can we fix this?
326
00:16:22,011 --> 00:16:25,731
- Oh, I can take him to Vegas.
- You're done. Go check on Stan.
327
00:16:26,691 --> 00:16:28,629
Can't this guy just say
he cheated?
328
00:16:28,664 --> 00:16:30,296
Great idea, new dad.
329
00:16:30,297 --> 00:16:31,967
- Dude.
- Dude.
330
00:16:31,968 --> 00:16:35,380
Fantastic!
Wow, but I gotta go to work.
331
00:16:35,415 --> 00:16:38,171
Adios, crazy people.
I'm taking a waffle.
332
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:41,734
- Waffles are for helpers!
- Dude, gotta go.
333
00:16:41,769 --> 00:16:44,102
- Good times, Mom.
- I probably should get going.
334
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:46,457
You are coming with me.
Come on.
335
00:16:46,737 --> 00:16:49,016
All right, we're going right
back to where we left off.
336
00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:51,568
Public-style kissing
will happen today.
337
00:16:51,603 --> 00:16:53,066
I've just got one thing to do.
338
00:16:53,067 --> 00:16:56,463
- Jules, I'm sad.
- Okay, two things to do.
339
00:16:59,284 --> 00:17:03,626
You broke him. You fix him.
Come on, Josh. Try to keep up.
340
00:17:05,255 --> 00:17:07,654
Jules said you'd make me
some soup.
341
00:17:07,689 --> 00:17:11,132
- Soup?
- Soup!
342
00:17:12,494 --> 00:17:16,373
- Hey, can I talk to you for a second?
- Sure.
343
00:17:17,174 --> 00:17:20,542
Wow. You flopped down on that chair,
and you barely had any jiggleall.
344
00:17:20,577 --> 00:17:23,025
It's because I can't get
this stupid bra off.
345
00:17:23,060 --> 00:17:25,007
Apparently, you have
to wear it forever.
346
00:17:25,042 --> 00:17:28,909
All right, do you wanna know why I lost
my jinkies on you about that open house?
347
00:17:28,910 --> 00:17:30,810
Yeah, so you could spend
more time with him.
348
00:17:30,918 --> 00:17:36,026
No, stay out there! Yes, I do
wanna take more time for myself.
349
00:17:36,061 --> 00:17:38,686
Now I have earned that, but--
all right.
350
00:17:38,721 --> 00:17:41,943
I'm gonna get a little corny
and... brace yourself.
351
00:17:42,736 --> 00:17:44,138
Ready.
352
00:17:44,139 --> 00:17:46,818
You remind me of me
when I was younger.
353
00:17:46,853 --> 00:17:48,717
You do. You just have
all this potential,
354
00:17:48,718 --> 00:17:50,935
and you don't realize you could
do anything with your life.
355
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:53,217
I just want you to want more
for yourself.
356
00:17:53,252 --> 00:17:55,880
I do! I went to a party
357
00:17:55,915 --> 00:17:58,365
with a professional-grade
margarita machine,
358
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,375
and I left because I cared
about doing a good job.
359
00:18:01,410 --> 00:18:04,579
- That's a first.
- Oh, come here.
360
00:18:06,075 --> 00:18:08,790
Ow! Wow! That is
a sharp, pointy bra.
361
00:18:08,825 --> 00:18:11,708
I know. They're like
frickin' traffic cones.
362
00:18:12,898 --> 00:18:14,798
Oh, come here!
363
00:18:15,993 --> 00:18:18,164
Ah. Pretty good soup.
364
00:18:18,199 --> 00:18:20,855
I just microwaved
bloody mary mix.
365
00:18:20,890 --> 00:18:23,303
Still tasty.
366
00:18:34,234 --> 00:18:36,319
You know what, man?
367
00:18:36,354 --> 00:18:40,184
I don't generally like,
368
00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:44,073
people.
369
00:18:44,738 --> 00:18:48,473
but I had a good time
golfing with you today.
370
00:18:50,455 --> 00:18:54,237
Thanks, brother.
Seriously.
371
00:18:57,953 --> 00:19:00,362
so you live on a boat
in a parking lot?
372
00:19:00,397 --> 00:19:03,635
- Yes, indeed.
- What, did you lose a bet?
373
00:19:03,670 --> 00:19:06,518
Uh, I won a bet.
374
00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:10,513
I know you had an appointment
with Ms. Cobb, but she's indisposed,
375
00:19:10,548 --> 00:19:12,735
so I'll be taking care of you.
376
00:19:12,770 --> 00:19:17,021
- I love you, Jules!
- I believe in you, Laurie!
377
00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:19,498
I don't completely, but they're not
huge clients, so it's no biggie.
378
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:23,759
And to prove that I'm not embarrassed
by you, I've brought along a very good friend.
379
00:19:23,794 --> 00:19:26,818
Best friend. I'm your best friend.
I'm her best friend.
380
00:19:26,853 --> 00:19:28,583
Oh, please,
I'm her best friend.
381
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:32,351
- Laurie, get back to the Jacobsons!
- They're only buying a condo.
382
00:19:32,386 --> 00:19:36,048
- Okay. Are you ready?
- Yes.
383
00:19:38,593 --> 00:19:41,266
Okay, judge away.
384
00:19:49,618 --> 00:19:52,207
- Thank you.
- Anytime.
385
00:19:52,406 --> 00:19:55,007
He kisses with a perfect seal
around your mouth
386
00:19:55,042 --> 00:19:56,446
like he's trying
to suck your brains out.
387
00:19:56,447 --> 00:19:58,547
I know, but he's gotten
so much better.
388
00:19:58,582 --> 00:20:01,543
- That's better?
- I'll go get some more drinks.
389
00:20:02,152 --> 00:20:05,582
Okay. Oh, hey, sweetie,
see if they've got an apple.
390
00:20:06,432 --> 00:20:08,633
Sweetie, two apples.
391
00:20:11,980 --> 00:20:14,802
We're never gonna tell anybody
about this, right?
392
00:20:14,837 --> 00:20:18,040
- Never.
- Man up. Let's go.
393
00:20:21,405 --> 00:20:24,154
Whoo! Hot damn, man.
Cosmos are good.
394
00:20:24,189 --> 00:20:26,089
They're divine.
395
00:20:26,336 --> 00:20:28,479
Hey, sorry about
your record.
396
00:20:28,514 --> 00:20:30,596
Ah, it's probably
for the best.
397
00:20:30,631 --> 00:20:33,854
I'm 40. About time I find
something new to hang my hat on.
398
00:20:33,889 --> 00:20:35,807
You know, it may not be
this week or even this year,
399
00:20:35,842 --> 00:20:38,072
but mark my words,
I will find it.
400
00:20:38,107 --> 00:20:40,007
You go, girl.
401
00:20:40,567 --> 00:20:43,307
It might be darts.
I'm pretty good at darts.
402
00:20:47,303 --> 00:20:49,520
look at that guy
pick himself up.
403
00:20:49,555 --> 00:20:54,183
That's a hero.
Golden hero.
404
00:20:54,218 --> 00:20:56,273
You are one weird cat.
405
00:20:57,134 --> 00:20:59,034
Transcript by VeRdiKT & honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com