1
00:00:00,995 --> 00:00:02,364
- Father?
- Daughter?

2
00:00:02,746 --> 00:00:04,870
Why is there a naked lady
in your bedroom?

3
00:00:05,025 --> 00:00:06,822
What are you
talking about, revenge?

4
00:00:06,962 --> 00:00:09,525
Don't make it like it wasn't
the least bit satisfying

5
00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:11,614
to fuck the wife of the man
who turned your

6
00:00:11,820 --> 00:00:13,997
"precious little book"
into a big, shitty movie.

7
00:00:14,184 --> 00:00:16,433
Sick of you talking shit
about me in the press.

8
00:00:16,620 --> 00:00:20,463
I thought you came because
you found out I fucked your wife.

9
00:00:20,764 --> 00:00:21,764
Asshole.

10
00:00:23,333 --> 00:00:24,730
Charlie Runkel's office.

11
00:00:25,019 --> 00:00:28,130
Your assistant makes me want to
touch myself in a bad place.

12
00:00:28,566 --> 00:00:31,830
But from now on, if I make a mistake
or I screw something up,

13
00:00:32,428 --> 00:00:35,559
you should feel free to discipline me
in whatever way you see fit.

14
00:00:38,229 --> 00:00:40,630
- Hi. Remember me?
- How could I forget?

15
00:00:40,770 --> 00:00:43,830
- Best blind date of my life, asshole.
- Let me make it up to you.

16
00:00:43,970 --> 00:00:46,199
Can I take you out sometime?

17
00:00:48,179 --> 00:00:50,530
The guy you saw me with
last night is married.

18
00:00:50,912 --> 00:00:52,745
Fucking a married a guy for 5 years?

19
00:00:53,005 --> 00:00:55,697
Call him whatever you want.
He can stay with me.

20
00:00:55,837 --> 00:00:58,596
Once upon a time, I used to love you.

21
00:00:58,886 --> 00:01:01,990
And no matter what, you will
always be a part of my life.

22
00:01:02,347 --> 00:01:04,449
But I'm not in love with you anymore.

23
00:01:05,490 --> 00:01:09,645
Subtitles: swsub.com

24
00:01:11,437 --> 00:01:14,264
Yusef, what's a five-letter word
for "excitable boy"?

25
00:01:14,404 --> 00:01:15,404
Zevon.

26
00:01:15,702 --> 00:01:17,007
Booyah.

27
00:01:17,817 --> 00:01:19,226
That's a smart dog.

28
00:01:25,703 --> 00:01:26,703
So...

29
00:01:26,903 --> 00:01:29,264
- last night.
- What about it?

30
00:01:29,404 --> 00:01:31,697
I don't want to be hyperbolic
or anything,

31
00:01:31,837 --> 00:01:34,697
but I think we took things
to a whole other level.

32
00:01:35,047 --> 00:01:37,830
And why do you feel the need
to relive it the next morning?

33
00:01:38,281 --> 00:01:40,663
That's half the fun.
You know, it's like...

34
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,064
getting to do it all over again.

35
00:01:43,624 --> 00:01:46,920
Except without the after-sex sadness

36
00:01:48,077 --> 00:01:50,528
that comes down upon one.

37
00:01:55,937 --> 00:01:57,630
Hank, I think we need to talk.

38
00:01:58,274 --> 00:01:59,668
Talk, really?

39
00:01:59,879 --> 00:02:03,457
Has anything good ever come
of such a thing ever?

40
00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:07,193
We've been spending
a lot of time in the bedroom,

41
00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:09,126
which is nice, very nice.

42
00:02:10,424 --> 00:02:13,515
But I'm also just coming out of this
horribly dysfunctional relationship

43
00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:15,580
that only existed in the bedroom...

44
00:02:15,808 --> 00:02:17,784
You want me to do you in the shower.

45
00:02:18,757 --> 00:02:19,757
I get it.

46
00:02:19,898 --> 00:02:22,630
You want to go out on the town
with some Hank on your arm.

47
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,475
You want to stroll around
with some of this.

48
00:02:26,470 --> 00:02:29,794
That's totally understandable.
We can do it. We can go out. Anything.

49
00:02:30,010 --> 00:02:32,297
Anything you want to do.
We'll do it. Just name it.

50
00:02:32,437 --> 00:02:33,830
Let's go. Right now.

51
00:02:34,148 --> 00:02:37,104
- Okay, there's this fund-raiser.
- No, can't do that.

52
00:02:37,337 --> 00:02:40,408
That sounds excruciating.
I won't do that.

53
00:02:40,581 --> 00:02:42,386
It's your agency. You must be invited.

54
00:02:42,558 --> 00:02:44,732
And I'm sure it went
right in the circular file.

55
00:02:44,992 --> 00:02:46,763
Come on, it'll be fun.

56
00:02:47,059 --> 00:02:48,530
It's for a good cause.

57
00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:52,763
Well, I'm not much one for causes,
good or otherwise.

58
00:02:52,903 --> 00:02:54,365
I'm not a joiner.

59
00:02:54,505 --> 00:02:57,237
- Apathy kills, Hank.
- I don't care.

60
00:03:05,095 --> 00:03:06,796
Does that feel like apathy to you?

61
00:04:12,738 --> 00:04:14,390
You look...

62
00:04:15,027 --> 00:04:17,364
half, you know, halfway decent.

63
00:04:17,668 --> 00:04:18,917
Thanks.

64
00:04:20,742 --> 00:04:21,836
How's Becca?

65
00:04:23,518 --> 00:04:26,613
- Well, she's a little bummed.
- Well, that's understandable,

66
00:04:26,791 --> 00:04:29,383
- but this thing came up.
- I know, but she's just...

67
00:04:31,428 --> 00:04:33,586
- Dad.
- Beautiful daughter.

68
00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:40,797
- Gee, I don't know where that...
- A bribe?

69
00:04:41,278 --> 00:04:45,064
No, I like to think of it more as
a token of my paternal affection.

70
00:04:48,050 --> 00:04:49,679
Are you serious?

71
00:04:50,409 --> 00:04:51,808
This is awesome!

72
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:55,964
Just when I thought we'd agreed
not to get her a cell phone.

73
00:04:56,106 --> 00:04:59,227
I thought we decided that, too,
but then I realized she can call me

74
00:04:59,414 --> 00:05:01,598
whenever she's pissed
at you and lurch, so...

75
00:05:02,851 --> 00:05:04,325
... changed my mind.

76
00:05:06,208 --> 00:05:07,486
Do you have a date?

77
00:05:08,164 --> 00:05:10,288
- I do.
- Do you like her?

78
00:05:10,937 --> 00:05:13,763
- She is pretty cool.
- As cool as mom?

79
00:05:14,396 --> 00:05:17,301
Sadly, I have come to find
that that is not possible.

80
00:05:17,545 --> 00:05:20,830
Well, if it's a date
and not just a random hookup,

81
00:05:21,594 --> 00:05:23,705
- I guess I approve.
- Yes!

82
00:05:24,247 --> 00:05:26,069
But I wanna hear
all about her tomorrow.

83
00:05:26,229 --> 00:05:27,634
Absolutely.

84
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:30,289
Call me.

85
00:05:32,740 --> 00:05:34,178
I can't believe you.

86
00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:36,403
So...

87
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,967
Stop it. The date.

88
00:05:39,621 --> 00:05:41,223
- Are you in love?
- Shut up.

89
00:05:41,464 --> 00:05:43,995
Where are you taking her?
Red Lobster? Denny's?

90
00:05:44,327 --> 00:05:47,030
I wish. I got this fucking fund-raiser
at the agency

91
00:05:47,170 --> 00:05:49,031
I got roped into going to.

92
00:05:57,177 --> 00:05:59,730
Fascist architecture.
Can I ask you a question?

93
00:05:59,870 --> 00:06:02,697
- Go for it.
- What are we doing here?

94
00:06:02,837 --> 00:06:06,056
- Mixing and mingling.
- That's what I thought.

95
00:06:06,216 --> 00:06:09,853
That explains why my sphincter
tightened up a couple notches.

96
00:06:10,113 --> 00:06:11,364
Relax.

97
00:06:13,087 --> 00:06:14,270
There's your agent.

98
00:06:25,537 --> 00:06:27,596
- What the fuck?
- What's the problem?

99
00:06:27,736 --> 00:06:29,707
You know how much I hate
that motherfucker.

100
00:06:29,967 --> 00:06:33,697
Yes, I know how much you hate
that A-list, in-demand motherfucker.

101
00:06:34,199 --> 00:06:36,364
But I've been trying
to sign him for years.

102
00:06:36,723 --> 00:06:38,663
Don't make me
fire your ass all over again.

103
00:06:39,131 --> 00:06:42,200
Hank, if I depended on you and
you alone for my commissions,

104
00:06:42,350 --> 00:06:45,749
Marcy and I would be sharing a TV dinner
under a bare light bulb right now.

105
00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:47,496
OK but don't do it in front of me.

106
00:06:47,636 --> 00:06:50,105
It's like watching you
cheat on me with another man.

107
00:06:50,929 --> 00:06:53,930
You give much better head.
Always have, always will.

108
00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:55,419
I am impressed.

109
00:06:55,584 --> 00:06:58,167
I can't believe you managed
to drag this nonpartisan asshole

110
00:06:58,308 --> 00:07:01,674
- out of the house for this shindig.
- I had to use all of my feminine wiles.

111
00:07:01,832 --> 00:07:02,943
And a butt plug.

112
00:07:03,783 --> 00:07:06,519
Speaking of which... where's Marcy?

113
00:07:06,903 --> 00:07:08,941
Emergency waxing session.

114
00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:13,030
As we speak, she's likely staring into
the business end of Angelina's vagina.

115
00:07:14,203 --> 00:07:17,697
Let's take a time-out while I meditate
on that for a few moments.

116
00:07:18,218 --> 00:07:21,304
You do that.
I see a friend. You come find me.

117
00:07:22,603 --> 00:07:25,037
I'm sorry. did you say something?

118
00:07:27,603 --> 00:07:30,563
I told you, man. You just needed
to meet a nice girl.

119
00:07:30,703 --> 00:07:32,930
- She's not so nice.
- Naughty?

120
00:07:33,596 --> 00:07:35,100
Do I ask you about Marcy's

121
00:07:35,301 --> 00:07:38,997
- sexual proclivities?
- Yes, all the time. It's odd, actually.

122
00:07:39,289 --> 00:07:43,075
So, what are we talking about here?
A little "S&M"? A little light "B&D"?

123
00:07:43,765 --> 00:07:45,193
Slow down, tiger.

124
00:07:46,927 --> 00:07:49,504
Morticia. Call me Hank, please.

125
00:07:52,241 --> 00:07:55,424
- So, do you still need me?
- Did you finish reading the manuscript?

126
00:07:56,248 --> 00:07:58,830
- Did you write your coverage on it yet?
- No, not yet.

127
00:07:58,970 --> 00:08:01,596
Then, I think you just answered
your own question.

128
00:08:01,892 --> 00:08:03,819
- Back to work.
- Yes, sir.

129
00:08:08,770 --> 00:08:11,684
Anything you want to tell me
about there, captain?

130
00:08:12,373 --> 00:08:14,495
Please. I'm a married man.

131
00:08:17,170 --> 00:08:20,104
Anything you want to tell me
about there, captain?

132
00:08:27,513 --> 00:08:30,431
Can we agree not to throw down
while we have our cocks out?

133
00:08:30,947 --> 00:08:32,804
Really? Yours is out?

134
00:08:35,624 --> 00:08:37,493
- Fag.
- I'm done fighting you, Moody.

135
00:08:37,795 --> 00:08:41,463
This from a man who had a six-pack of
whoop-ass opened up on him last week.

136
00:08:41,723 --> 00:08:44,513
I couldn't hurt you if I wanted to.
You're your own worst enemy.

137
00:08:45,771 --> 00:08:49,278
That is a very astute observation
coming from a dumb guy.

138
00:08:49,899 --> 00:08:51,463
Did me a big favor, actually.

139
00:08:51,726 --> 00:08:54,503
Got me out of a horrible
fucking marriage.

140
00:08:55,042 --> 00:08:57,455
You and Sandy splitting the sheets?
Do tell.

141
00:08:57,749 --> 00:09:00,775
That bitch is crazy. Last time I ever
marry a fucking white woman.

142
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,203
I'm with you there.

143
00:09:02,363 --> 00:09:04,644
- Well, how'd she take it?
- Haven't told her.

144
00:09:05,034 --> 00:09:07,624
- Thinking about doing it tonight.
- Here? she's here?

145
00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:08,847
That's right.

146
00:09:25,383 --> 00:09:28,416
There she is.
The former Mrs. Moody.

147
00:09:28,727 --> 00:09:30,426
I was never officially a Moody.

148
00:09:30,897 --> 00:09:32,913
You were moody.
You just weren't a Moody.

149
00:09:33,089 --> 00:09:36,001
You could've made me less moody
if you'd made me into a Moody.

150
00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:38,588
- I'll make you a Moody right now.
- It's too late.

151
00:09:38,748 --> 00:09:41,101
- It's 4 hours to Vegas.
- No, it's too late.

152
00:09:41,636 --> 00:09:45,384
We'll stop in Barstow, in-n-out burgers,
shakes, fries, celebratory coupling,

153
00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:48,373
which I believe is part
of our sordid sexual history.

154
00:09:48,513 --> 00:09:51,445
You know, it's very tempting,
but I'm gonna have to say no.

155
00:09:51,710 --> 00:09:53,365
But thank you. Over.

156
00:09:53,974 --> 00:09:56,726
Could you be
on your best behavior tonight?

157
00:09:57,007 --> 00:09:58,082
Please, please.

158
00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:00,664
Like a child you talk to me.
What do you think I'll do?

159
00:10:00,804 --> 00:10:03,291
- You are a child.
- Stir the punch with my dong?

160
00:10:03,447 --> 00:10:04,757
Quite possibly, yes.

161
00:10:04,897 --> 00:10:07,456
And that's the thing with you, Hank.

162
00:10:07,596 --> 00:10:11,892
One never knows what to expect
from you or your dong.

163
00:10:12,183 --> 00:10:13,864
And how is this not a virtue?

164
00:10:17,296 --> 00:10:19,970
You know, honey,
you do look beautiful tonight.

165
00:10:20,552 --> 00:10:22,712
Well, that's... Thank you.
Thank you.

166
00:10:26,865 --> 00:10:29,848
Stop it! No. You just said
you would behave.

167
00:10:29,988 --> 00:10:31,691
Bill is around the corner.

168
00:10:31,959 --> 00:10:35,020
- Okay, come on. We can be adults.
- It just gets so lonely sometimes.

169
00:10:35,277 --> 00:10:38,770
I need a hug in a moment, the moment
passes, and I'm good. Smell you later.

170
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:45,652
- You finished yet?
- Putting it together right now.

171
00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:47,380
Bring it to me in my office.

172
00:10:49,268 --> 00:10:51,268
U.T.K. Charlie Runkel's office.

173
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:53,178
It's your wife.

174
00:10:57,118 --> 00:10:58,292
Hey, baby.

175
00:10:59,569 --> 00:11:00,890
Yeah, it's going well.

176
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,260
How about you?
How is Angelina's cookie?

177
00:11:09,427 --> 00:11:10,620
Really?

178
00:11:11,474 --> 00:11:13,824
Well, that's one of the benefits
of adoption.

179
00:11:19,196 --> 00:11:21,928
You know what?
You're... you're breaking up.

180
00:11:24,697 --> 00:11:27,514
Yeah, you're... You're...
I'm losing you, babe.

181
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,321
Okay, got to go.

182
00:11:38,142 --> 00:11:39,551
Tell me what to do.

183
00:11:42,449 --> 00:11:44,833
What if you don't wanna do
what I tell you to do?

184
00:11:46,355 --> 00:11:47,979
I think you're missing the point.

185
00:11:57,241 --> 00:11:58,330
Thank you.

186
00:12:00,895 --> 00:12:02,341
There you are.

187
00:12:03,881 --> 00:12:05,120
Hank Moody,

188
00:12:05,477 --> 00:12:08,702
please say hello to my colleague
Jonathan Mandel

189
00:12:08,842 --> 00:12:11,153
and his lovely wife, Nikki.

190
00:12:11,808 --> 00:12:13,872
- Hank Moody? The writer?
- I used to be.

191
00:12:14,092 --> 00:12:17,262
Now I'm Hank Moody the blogger,
soon to be Hank Moody the bartender.

192
00:12:19,270 --> 00:12:21,108
Meredith turned me on to your blog.

193
00:12:21,419 --> 00:12:24,667
- Highly entertaining, Hank.
- Well, that's what I do. I entertain.

194
00:12:24,949 --> 00:12:28,240
I'd be interested to see what you write
about this little shindig.

195
00:12:28,783 --> 00:12:31,322
Well, just off the top of my head...

196
00:12:33,126 --> 00:12:36,311
I find interesting to hear these people
ranting and raving about saving

197
00:12:36,492 --> 00:12:39,546
the environment when they'll probably
blow like 10 000 pounds of fuel

198
00:12:39,727 --> 00:12:42,722
on their private jet planes
getting down to Cabo this weekend.

199
00:12:42,910 --> 00:12:44,685
That's right, babs. You heard me.

200
00:12:45,013 --> 00:12:46,468
Tell Oprah I said so.

201
00:12:46,745 --> 00:12:48,942
Put that in your pipe
and smoke it, ladies.

202
00:12:50,568 --> 00:12:53,701
- Meredith, can I get you another drink?
- Will you excuse us?

203
00:12:57,334 --> 00:13:00,198
- Your writing is so good.
- Well, Thank you.

204
00:13:00,482 --> 00:13:03,338
I'm a bit of a scribbler myself,
you know?

205
00:13:04,792 --> 00:13:06,395
Nikki Man... That Nikki Mandel.

206
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,563
You write all that Hollywood, trophy,

207
00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:11,300
- clit-lit stank, don't you?
- That's me.

208
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:15,362
Masturbation material for the North
of Montana <i>hausfrau</i>.

209
00:13:15,622 --> 00:13:17,389
You had me at masturbation.

210
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:19,741
- I was hoping so.
- You got me all wet.

211
00:13:20,001 --> 00:13:22,396
The trick is coming up
with good story ideas.

212
00:13:22,556 --> 00:13:23,672
I would imagine.

213
00:13:23,814 --> 00:13:26,061
I'm always on the lookout
for new material...

214
00:13:26,845 --> 00:13:30,311
- if you know what I mean.
- It's hard not to know what you mean,

215
00:13:30,607 --> 00:13:32,721
especially when you're being
so subtle about it.

216
00:13:32,882 --> 00:13:34,545
Doesn't pay to be a wallflower.

217
00:13:34,705 --> 00:13:36,370
You and your husband seem fine.

218
00:13:36,510 --> 00:13:38,989
- What's the deal?
- Looks can be deceiving.

219
00:13:39,350 --> 00:13:41,930
Those two have been playing grab-ass
for years now.

220
00:13:45,466 --> 00:13:47,554
"I see," said the blind man.

221
00:13:49,554 --> 00:13:51,015
Excuse me a moment.

222
00:13:53,019 --> 00:13:54,691
Can I talk to you for a second?

223
00:13:54,955 --> 00:13:56,926
- What are you doing?
- What are <i>you</i> doing?

224
00:13:57,066 --> 00:13:59,680
No, what are you doing?
That's married guy. Come on.

225
00:14:00,325 --> 00:14:03,410
- I didn't know he was gonna be here.
- Come on.

226
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:05,794
Okay, I knew.

227
00:14:06,384 --> 00:14:07,372
I'm sorry.

228
00:14:07,632 --> 00:14:09,168
I don't care. It's still a lie.

229
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,626
Look, you want to create
a fuss with me?

230
00:14:11,886 --> 00:14:13,545
That's fine. I'm listening.

231
00:14:13,807 --> 00:14:16,205
I'm kid chaos.
I'll create some chaos for you.

232
00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:17,645
How?

233
00:14:18,039 --> 00:14:19,119
How?

234
00:14:31,752 --> 00:14:33,981
I want to be a 40-year-old virgin.

235
00:14:35,395 --> 00:14:36,428
Why?

236
00:14:37,219 --> 00:14:39,360
Because it seems like,
once you get laid,

237
00:14:39,557 --> 00:14:41,707
your life basically turns to shit.

238
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:45,795
It's not so bad.

239
00:14:46,915 --> 00:14:48,121
You've had the sex?

240
00:14:49,309 --> 00:14:50,398
Sure.

241
00:14:51,804 --> 00:14:53,053
What's it like?

242
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:58,673
Good.

243
00:15:01,436 --> 00:15:02,901
Bad.

244
00:15:04,332 --> 00:15:05,347
Weird.

245
00:15:06,219 --> 00:15:07,439
Powerful.

246
00:15:08,596 --> 00:15:12,508
I don't know. Look, don't worry about
this stuff. You got plenty of time.

247
00:15:12,777 --> 00:15:14,825
- Watch the hair.
- Sorry.

248
00:15:18,393 --> 00:15:20,083
You Miss your dad, don't you?

249
00:15:25,057 --> 00:15:26,165
I Miss my mom.

250
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:31,373
For what it's worth,
I know my mom really likes you.

251
00:15:34,442 --> 00:15:35,644
I like her, too.

252
00:15:36,134 --> 00:15:37,496
It's just...

253
00:15:38,397 --> 00:15:39,665
not the same, you know?

254
00:15:44,969 --> 00:15:46,255
Do you like Bill?

255
00:15:47,281 --> 00:15:48,980
Sure. He's nice.

256
00:15:50,839 --> 00:15:52,269
But he's not like Hank.

257
00:15:54,673 --> 00:15:56,776
Seriously, you're really lucky.

258
00:16:09,877 --> 00:16:10,948
Nice.

259
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:17,732
- Watch it!
- Well, thank you.

260
00:16:17,873 --> 00:16:18,956
Great!

261
00:16:19,341 --> 00:16:22,789
- You could look where you're going.
- And you could be a bit less of a cunt.

262
00:16:23,555 --> 00:16:26,033
- What did you say?
- What did I say? I cunt hear you.

263
00:16:26,822 --> 00:16:28,388
Back it up, lady!

264
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,108
What the hell happened here?

265
00:16:31,259 --> 00:16:34,156
The guy spills his drink on me,
then he called me a cunt.

266
00:16:34,296 --> 00:16:36,398
I didn't say a word!
I bumped into her. My bad.

267
00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:39,264
- You liar! Yes, you did!
- She just freaked out on me.

268
00:16:39,404 --> 00:16:41,188
You should've come and get me.

269
00:16:41,328 --> 00:16:43,737
- I can take care of myself. Thank you.
- Clearly.

270
00:16:43,997 --> 00:16:47,273
Sweetie, this is hardly the time
or the place for a scene.

271
00:16:47,582 --> 00:16:51,196
Can't we all just get along? I'm not
looking to press charges or anything.

272
00:16:52,484 --> 00:16:54,698
- Get off of me.
- He's trying to be decent.

273
00:16:54,844 --> 00:16:56,369
No. He's trying to be a dick.

274
00:16:56,530 --> 00:16:59,521
You want me to have him thrown out?
Just say the word and I will.

275
00:16:59,661 --> 00:17:01,196
I don't. I just want to go.

276
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,979
Now, look, there's a couple
I want you to meet.

277
00:17:07,607 --> 00:17:09,702
Turns out they bought
that house you re-did.

278
00:17:11,918 --> 00:17:13,363
There we go. Turn.

279
00:17:14,871 --> 00:17:16,233
Come on, lean forward.

280
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:17,737
Yeah, just like that.

281
00:17:18,192 --> 00:17:19,395
Just like that.

282
00:17:19,654 --> 00:17:21,718
Look at you, you dirty,
little animal.

283
00:17:21,894 --> 00:17:23,216
- Like this?
- Yes.

284
00:17:26,926 --> 00:17:27,916
I missed.

285
00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:30,998
Yes, look at that.

286
00:17:31,620 --> 00:17:34,124
- Holy fucknuts!
- Shit!

287
00:17:34,404 --> 00:17:37,706
- What, don't you fucking knock?
- Don't you lock?

288
00:17:40,378 --> 00:17:43,040
Why don't you go grab him
some water or something?

289
00:17:47,471 --> 00:17:50,056
Take it easy there, Diane Arbus.

290
00:17:50,974 --> 00:17:52,436
Don't have a coronary,

291
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,423
'cause I wouldn't know how
to explain that to your wife.

292
00:17:56,987 --> 00:18:00,733
It's all right. Maybe it's time
to punch out there, Bettie Page.

293
00:18:12,504 --> 00:18:13,504
Here.

294
00:18:15,913 --> 00:18:19,064
First things first... You're not gonna
stroke out on me, are you?

295
00:18:20,063 --> 00:18:22,223
Good. You just relax.

296
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:24,863
It's all good. It was me.

297
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:27,206
You're lucky it was
me coming in that door, huh?

298
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:32,722
Look at me, look at me.
Let me see those eyes.

299
00:18:33,103 --> 00:18:35,289
Yeah, you're good, you're good.

300
00:18:36,677 --> 00:18:38,972
- What the fuck?
- What the fuck were you thinking

301
00:18:39,130 --> 00:18:40,840
fucking around with your secretary?

302
00:18:40,980 --> 00:18:42,983
"How much of a big fat cliché can I be"?

303
00:18:43,125 --> 00:18:44,931
She started it, man.

304
00:18:47,245 --> 00:18:48,339
Come on.

305
00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:50,815
I guess I...

306
00:18:51,656 --> 00:18:54,060
- ... got a little carried away.
- You think?

307
00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:57,781
I don't even know what happened, man.
One minute, I am sailing along,

308
00:18:58,020 --> 00:19:01,530
I'm being the guy who would
never, ever cheat on his wife.

309
00:19:02,904 --> 00:19:06,651
The next second, I'm spanking the bare,
naked ass of a 22-year-old girl.

310
00:19:08,364 --> 00:19:11,569
I'm not gonna be judgmental,
because, a/ Who the fuck am I to talk?

311
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:14,674
and b/ What you just described
sounds incredibly hot.

312
00:19:14,935 --> 00:19:16,841
But you got to get your shit together.

313
00:19:17,729 --> 00:19:20,097
All right? You owe it to Marcy.

314
00:19:20,348 --> 00:19:22,977
I know.
I'm such a fucking asshole, man.

315
00:19:23,374 --> 00:19:25,804
If anybody deserves
to be disciplined, it's me.

316
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,048
It's not an invitation.

317
00:19:32,012 --> 00:19:34,236
If you're having
problems in the boudoir,

318
00:19:34,544 --> 00:19:36,760
it's worth a conversation
with the old lady.

319
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,197
I'm afraid that ship
sailed some time ago.

320
00:19:44,690 --> 00:19:46,090
I don't know, you know,

321
00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:49,053
Marcy, to me, is nothing
if not a dirty, little girl.

322
00:19:50,003 --> 00:19:52,087
I think, with all due respect,

323
00:19:53,170 --> 00:19:54,849
if you talk to her, I think

324
00:19:55,223 --> 00:19:58,408
she'd be into some seriously
freaky shit.

325
00:20:06,527 --> 00:20:09,335
Big boy. You're not crying, are you?

326
00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:12,550
- A little bit.
Jesus Christ.

327
00:20:17,907 --> 00:20:19,943
- May I have another glass of wine?
- Hey!

328
00:20:20,184 --> 00:20:22,870
Time to hang up
your drinking shoes, lady.

329
00:20:25,146 --> 00:20:26,930
You love me, don't you, Hank?

330
00:20:27,172 --> 00:20:29,364
I've certainly grown very fond of you.

331
00:20:29,504 --> 00:20:31,763
- But I think that's...
- Let me guess.

332
00:20:32,446 --> 00:20:35,733
It's a little early for
this particular discussion.

333
00:20:36,037 --> 00:20:37,677
Something like that, yeah.

334
00:20:38,476 --> 00:20:42,030
We'll probably never make it
to this particular discussion.

335
00:20:42,602 --> 00:20:44,019
Why do you say that?

336
00:20:45,193 --> 00:20:48,951
Well, when you've spent
the last five years loving a man

337
00:20:50,393 --> 00:20:52,777
and wondering why
he doesn't love you back...

338
00:20:54,684 --> 00:20:57,509
...you tend to get
a wee bit cynical about things.

339
00:21:01,796 --> 00:21:03,515
You stay right here...

340
00:21:06,010 --> 00:21:07,766
... and you hydrate.

341
00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:10,328
I'll be right back.

342
00:21:25,890 --> 00:21:26,986
What'd you say?

343
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,351
You need a double dose
of Viagra to get wood

344
00:21:29,493 --> 00:21:31,441
and you wear a fanny pack
on the weekends.

345
00:21:33,122 --> 00:21:36,222
- Think you're pretty clever, don't you?
- You wanna fuck around, fine.

346
00:21:36,403 --> 00:21:38,394
Fuck around all you want,
I'm no judge Judy.

347
00:21:38,536 --> 00:21:40,755
But don't string a woman along
for a major chunk

348
00:21:40,897 --> 00:21:43,043
of her childbearing years.
That's not cool.

349
00:21:43,203 --> 00:21:46,730
- Who are you? Don Quixote?
- No, I'm not even Don fucking Knotts.

350
00:21:47,176 --> 00:21:50,530
- I'm a big fan of the lady in question.
- That's incredibly noble,

351
00:21:50,670 --> 00:21:53,662
considering how the lady
in question talks about you.

352
00:21:54,056 --> 00:21:55,581
I was curious,

353
00:21:55,822 --> 00:21:58,563
because despite what you say,
I do care about her,

354
00:21:58,805 --> 00:22:02,238
So, I asked, "Who is he? Is this
someone I need to worry about?"

355
00:22:02,607 --> 00:22:03,966
You know what she said?

356
00:22:04,148 --> 00:22:07,583
"Him? He's nobody, a loser,

357
00:22:08,876 --> 00:22:12,431
"someone to pass the time with
when I'm not in bed with you."

358
00:22:13,777 --> 00:22:16,903
So, maybe you're the one who
needs to be cut loose, pal.

359
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:22,494
- You're very lucky, my friend.
- And why is that?

360
00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:25,426
'Cause I promised someone
I'd be on my best behavior.

361
00:22:25,694 --> 00:22:26,984
Fucking fucker!

362
00:22:28,674 --> 00:22:30,823
- My God!
- What are you doing?

363
00:22:30,970 --> 00:22:32,625
I'm glad we came.

364
00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:35,364
That was fun.

365
00:22:36,146 --> 00:22:37,667
You're funny.

366
00:22:38,747 --> 00:22:41,508
There you go. You're good, you're good.

367
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:50,184
- Proud of me?
- Almost never, but,

368
00:22:50,385 --> 00:22:51,897
yeah, I approve.

369
00:22:52,117 --> 00:22:55,819
No, no.
My behavior... me and my dong.

370
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,428
- Well-behaved.
- Right... good.

371
00:22:58,628 --> 00:23:00,792
- Did nothing.
- Congratulations.

372
00:23:01,082 --> 00:23:03,763
You are proud of me.
Did you have a good night?

373
00:23:03,956 --> 00:23:05,499
Yeah, I did.

374
00:23:05,789 --> 00:23:08,730
For a radical environmentalist
such as yourself,

375
00:23:08,870 --> 00:23:11,897
this whole evening must have
given you a clit-boner.

376
00:23:12,114 --> 00:23:13,706
You're disgusting.

377
00:23:14,305 --> 00:23:15,726
See you next Tuesday!

378
00:23:16,859 --> 00:23:17,891
Fuck you!

379
00:23:19,951 --> 00:23:21,794
What is that? What are you doing?

380
00:23:22,003 --> 00:23:25,023
He's just a classy guy.
He called me a cunt.

381
00:23:25,291 --> 00:23:28,766
- This guy called you a cunt?
- I dealt with it. I dealt with it.

382
00:23:28,952 --> 00:23:30,646
It's okay, I just want to...

383
00:23:31,387 --> 00:23:32,589
Excuse me.

384
00:23:37,911 --> 00:23:39,033
Good night.

385
00:23:39,749 --> 00:23:40,916
Good night.

386
00:23:58,215 --> 00:24:00,155
- Hey.
- Hey, mom.

387
00:24:00,495 --> 00:24:02,946
I'm sorry. Go back to sleep.

388
00:24:04,755 --> 00:24:06,394
- Mom?
- Yeah?

389
00:24:07,069 --> 00:24:08,778
Can I ask you something?

390
00:24:08,983 --> 00:24:10,789
Anything, my love.

391
00:24:11,871 --> 00:24:13,153
Do you love Bill?

392
00:24:16,324 --> 00:24:17,326
Yeah.

393
00:24:18,223 --> 00:24:19,309
Yeah, I do.

394
00:24:20,471 --> 00:24:21,935
Do you love dad?

395
00:24:22,104 --> 00:24:23,218
Yes...

396
00:24:24,259 --> 00:24:26,314
because we have you in common.

397
00:24:27,411 --> 00:24:30,551
I mean... I don't love him

398
00:24:30,711 --> 00:24:33,496
in that butterflies-in-the-tummy
way anymore.

399
00:24:33,712 --> 00:24:34,798
I mean...

400
00:24:35,305 --> 00:24:38,145
not in the way that we love
Johnny Depp, definitely not.

401
00:24:39,531 --> 00:24:40,593
Right.

402
00:24:42,114 --> 00:24:43,701
Is dad a bad person?

403
00:24:44,300 --> 00:24:45,668
No, not at all.

404
00:24:46,458 --> 00:24:47,980
He does have a habit

405
00:24:48,121 --> 00:24:50,463
of getting himself and
everyone else around him

406
00:24:50,603 --> 00:24:52,627
into trouble sometimes, but...

407
00:24:58,031 --> 00:24:59,881
Bill is a good person, sweetie.

408
00:25:01,591 --> 00:25:04,229
You know, he's kind, he's smart,

409
00:25:05,469 --> 00:25:06,831
and he really...

410
00:25:07,953 --> 00:25:09,636
He thinks things through.

411
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,423
I love you.

412
00:25:18,331 --> 00:25:20,279
- Good night.
- Good night.

413
00:25:27,431 --> 00:25:30,897
It's been a long time since someone
held my hair back as I puked.

414
00:25:31,489 --> 00:25:33,652
It's been an honor and a privilege.

415
00:25:43,690 --> 00:25:45,087
Care to join me?

416
00:25:45,307 --> 00:25:48,093
Whew, still kind of barfy.
Get some sleep.

417
00:25:51,653 --> 00:25:52,654
Thank you.

418
00:25:54,041 --> 00:25:55,363
It's what I do.

419
00:26:11,133 --> 00:26:13,830
"B" to the "E" to the "C"
to the "C" to the "A."

420
00:26:14,032 --> 00:26:16,195
<i>- Hi, dad.</i>
- What up, G?

421
00:26:16,777 --> 00:26:19,730
I called because I had
a feeling you couldn't sleep.

422
00:26:20,684 --> 00:26:23,763
Right as usual, my beautiful,
precocious daughter.

423
00:26:24,377 --> 00:26:27,929
Remember what you used to do
for me when I couldn't sleep?

424
00:26:28,882 --> 00:26:30,543
<i>Dose you with opiates?</i>.

425
00:26:32,134 --> 00:26:34,718
<i>You'd look at the ocean
and count the mermaids.</i>

426
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,319
I did do that.

427
00:26:38,429 --> 00:26:40,713
I'm a better father than I thought.

428
00:26:42,056 --> 00:26:44,781
Maybe you should try that,
and it will help.

429
00:26:47,101 --> 00:26:48,103
Yeah.

430
00:26:53,207 --> 00:26:54,208
<i>One...</i>

431
00:26:57,468 --> 00:26:58,470
Two...

432
00:26:59,376 --> 00:27:01,850
Three... no, that's a sea lion.

433
00:27:03,903 --> 00:27:04,903
<i>Four...</i>

434
00:27:06,994 --> 00:27:07,956
Five...

435
00:27:08,957 --> 00:27:11,061
Six... no, that's a bum.

436
00:27:13,511 --> 00:27:14,537
<i>Seven...</i>

437
00:27:16,108 --> 00:27:17,116
Eight...

438
00:27:18,072 --> 00:27:20,896
Nine... no, that's Daryl Hannah.

439
00:27:23,682 --> 00:27:24,694
<i>Ten...</i>

440
00:27:28,271 --> 00:27:29,363
Eleven...