1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:02,299
So from now on,
2
00:00:02,424 --> 00:00:06,186
we'll refer to each other
by our Spanish nombres.
3
00:00:06,889 --> 00:00:08,039
It will be...
4
00:00:23,051 --> 00:00:26,247
Buenos días, Winger.
5
00:00:30,629 --> 00:00:31,781
Class dismissed.
6
00:00:38,677 --> 00:00:40,957
Look, I'm Annie's backpack.
7
00:00:41,657 --> 00:00:42,857
Stop it, Troy.
8
00:00:47,498 --> 00:00:50,935
Say there are two friends
and they're in the same class
9
00:00:51,060 --> 00:00:53,433
and one wants to ask the other one
out on a date.
10
00:00:53,558 --> 00:00:55,108
Like a grown-up date,
11
00:00:55,411 --> 00:00:58,411
but within biking distance
of his parents' house.
12
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:00,975
They could do something on campus.
13
00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:04,795
Tomorrow there's a picnic
with live music on the East lawn.
14
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,720
They're calling it
"A night under the stars".
15
00:01:08,164 --> 00:01:11,114
Cool. I bet Randi
would love that type of thing.
16
00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:12,322
Randi?
17
00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:14,048
I thought...
18
00:01:15,535 --> 00:01:16,575
You thought...
19
00:01:17,308 --> 00:01:19,679
Can't believe
I misled you like that.
20
00:01:19,804 --> 00:01:20,804
Listen...
21
00:01:21,724 --> 00:01:24,291
Randi can be the name
of a guy or a girl.
22
00:01:25,038 --> 00:01:27,586
And in this case,
it is definitely a girl.
23
00:01:29,533 --> 00:01:30,798
Thanks for your help.
24
00:01:31,728 --> 00:01:32,894
You're welcome.
25
00:01:33,019 --> 00:01:34,432
And I hate you.
26
00:01:34,557 --> 00:01:36,317
And I want to have your children.
27
00:01:36,442 --> 00:01:38,931
Damn, I picked the wrong couple
to follow out of class this morning.
28
00:01:39,056 --> 00:01:41,006
Jeff and Britta are dead air.
29
00:01:41,627 --> 00:01:45,040
Are you okay? It looks like
you have actual bed head this morning.
30
00:01:45,165 --> 00:01:47,413
In fashion,
I'm what's known as a tastemaker.
31
00:01:47,538 --> 00:01:50,164
And you missed an entire side
of your face shaving.
32
00:01:50,289 --> 00:01:52,496
And next month,
so will Gwen Stefani.
33
00:01:52,621 --> 00:01:54,238
Here comes Vaughn. Bye.
34
00:01:55,726 --> 00:01:57,074
- Crap.
- Vaughn?
35
00:01:58,132 --> 00:02:00,213
The guy with the tiny nipples
you did it with.
36
00:02:00,747 --> 00:02:02,580
Hi, Vaughn.
Can we talk sometime?
37
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:04,337
I'm sorry about how things ended.
38
00:02:04,462 --> 00:02:07,899
I'm sorry I can't accept your apology
'cause you're toxic, Britta.
39
00:02:08,922 --> 00:02:11,922
You're like the exact opposite
of an antioxidant.
40
00:02:13,329 --> 00:02:16,525
- I got band practice. Lates.
- Can't we still be friends?
41
00:02:16,650 --> 00:02:19,600
And isn't the word "later"
already short enough?
42
00:02:20,317 --> 00:02:22,167
Let me talk to him for you.
43
00:02:22,544 --> 00:02:23,651
Man-to-man is better.
44
00:02:23,776 --> 00:02:26,819
We won't think about our chubby thighs
or whether or not we can have babies.
45
00:02:26,944 --> 00:02:28,147
Don't talk to Vaughn.
46
00:02:29,314 --> 00:02:32,693
- Your hormones are clouding your...
- Don't talk to Vaughn.
47
00:02:36,022 --> 00:02:38,074
That is "girl" for "talk to Vaughn".
48
00:03:03,511 --> 00:03:06,061
You sure you don't want
a piece of that?
49
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:10,331
What is he doing?
50
00:03:10,528 --> 00:03:12,520
I know exactly what he's doing.
51
00:03:12,645 --> 00:03:14,355
My ex-husband
spent four weeks doing that
52
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:16,923
after his "innocent mistake"
of calling me Valerie.
53
00:03:17,773 --> 00:03:19,723
That boy's living in his car.
54
00:03:25,499 --> 00:03:28,343
I lived in my car
for a stretch in the '70s.
55
00:03:29,423 --> 00:03:31,209
Nothing like bedding a woman
56
00:03:31,334 --> 00:03:33,537
on the vinyl backseat of a Skylark.
57
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,842
Of course, we didn't have the same
safety standards back then so...
58
00:03:39,415 --> 00:03:40,678
No condoms.
59
00:03:40,847 --> 00:03:43,556
I tell you, before aids,
sex was like shaking hands.
60
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:44,585
Hands aids.
61
00:03:44,710 --> 00:03:47,059
Brittles, I forgot to tell you,
I went and talked to Vaughn.
62
00:03:47,786 --> 00:03:50,207
The bad news is
I could not patch up things between you.
63
00:03:50,332 --> 00:03:51,856
You really did a number on him.
64
00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:54,610
Good news is
I'm the new keyboardist in his band.
65
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,706
So I asked you not to talk to him
and you completely ignored me.
66
00:03:57,831 --> 00:03:59,238
You're missing the headline.
67
00:03:59,770 --> 00:04:00,948
I'm in a rock band!
68
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:03,200
I'd like to be there
when the band finds out.
69
00:04:09,201 --> 00:04:11,250
We were just talking
about how in today's economy...
70
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:14,085
Living in your car.
You are living in your car.
71
00:04:15,621 --> 00:04:17,370
I'm sorry,
I'm not good at being coy.
72
00:04:17,748 --> 00:04:19,216
I'm not living in my car.
73
00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:21,958
I'm just sleeping in it
for a couple of days
74
00:04:22,083 --> 00:04:24,096
while I work at some problems
with my condo.
75
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:25,801
It's a very temporary issue.
76
00:04:25,926 --> 00:04:27,141
I've got to pay some fees
77
00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:29,935
and then they'll put my locks
back on the door and that'll be that.
78
00:04:30,105 --> 00:04:31,353
How you'll get the money?
79
00:04:32,081 --> 00:04:34,689
Believe me, kitten,
Winger's got moves.
80
00:04:35,248 --> 00:04:39,252
- Do you need a place to stay?
- I'd offer but my dad's kind of racist.
81
00:04:39,572 --> 00:04:40,487
Stay with me.
82
00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:43,282
My room has a bunk bed, which is
a misnomer because it's the real deal.
83
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,534
The next person
that offers me charity or pity
84
00:04:45,848 --> 00:04:48,454
will be mentioned by name
in my suicide note.
85
00:04:54,453 --> 00:04:56,656
Thanks for your advice
about "a night under the stars".
86
00:04:56,781 --> 00:04:58,860
Of course. Anytime. Ever.
87
00:04:58,985 --> 00:05:00,966
I got to figure out
what to bring to the picnic.
88
00:05:01,291 --> 00:05:04,553
This is my first college girl
so I really want to impress her.
89
00:05:04,723 --> 00:05:07,348
Would you mind helping me
shop for this stuff?
90
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:08,892
- I'd love to.
- Really?
91
00:05:10,706 --> 00:05:11,906
Thanks. Later.
92
00:05:17,007 --> 00:05:18,067
Wanna see my place?
93
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:20,719
I can see it.
Two girls are making out on the hood.
94
00:05:20,844 --> 00:05:22,244
No, my real place.
95
00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:28,034
The condo board's trying to bluff me
by listing my place as available.
96
00:05:28,441 --> 00:05:29,703
Look at those faucets.
97
00:05:29,873 --> 00:05:32,979
Handcrafted in Italy.
100% expensive.
98
00:05:33,626 --> 00:05:35,070
Those faucets are beautiful.
99
00:05:35,195 --> 00:05:37,419
You know what they would
go great with: a home,
100
00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:38,829
which you no longer have.
101
00:05:38,954 --> 00:05:41,763
- You need to move on with your life.
- Yeah. Move on with my life.
102
00:05:41,888 --> 00:05:43,638
"Shmove shmon shmith shmy shmife. "
103
00:05:44,206 --> 00:05:46,389
This condo is all that's left of me.
104
00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:48,636
Every part of it is a part
of who I am.
105
00:05:48,761 --> 00:05:51,462
- Is that a bidet?
- That part's for resale value.
106
00:05:51,891 --> 00:05:53,591
And Saturday afternoons.
107
00:05:55,264 --> 00:05:59,099
You know, downgrading your lifestyle
is your chance to grow as a person.
108
00:05:59,224 --> 00:06:00,828
Maybe even become one.
109
00:06:00,953 --> 00:06:03,862
The less you have, the more you can be.
You know what I'm saying?
110
00:06:04,517 --> 00:06:07,167
There's a silver lining here,
isn't there?
111
00:06:07,863 --> 00:06:09,764
- You're attracted to bums.
- Good night.
112
00:06:09,889 --> 00:06:11,919
Come on. Why don't you have
dinner at my place?
113
00:06:12,044 --> 00:06:14,163
I got a hot plate
that plugs into a cigarette lighter.
114
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,458
Yeah, but your kitchen's
being towed.
115
00:06:18,371 --> 00:06:19,984
Stop! That's my house!
116
00:06:25,075 --> 00:06:26,176
Can I live with you?
117
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:28,761
Yeah. Cool.
You want the top or the bottom bunk?
118
00:06:29,303 --> 00:06:30,306
Top.
119
00:06:30,636 --> 00:06:31,636
Me too.
120
00:06:34,688 --> 00:06:35,686
I win.
121
00:06:42,996 --> 00:06:45,556
Look, I really need
to liquidate some assets.
122
00:06:45,681 --> 00:06:47,581
It's an emergency situation.
123
00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:49,779
What kind of an offer is that?
124
00:06:49,904 --> 00:06:52,076
These are mint condition issues.
125
00:06:52,244 --> 00:06:53,775
The premise alone is priceless.
126
00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:56,581
The guy has the powers
and strength of a spider.
127
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:01,135
No, your incredulity
perplexes me, nerd.
128
00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,966
Did I say anything in my sleep
about farm animals or Brian Williams?
129
00:07:07,457 --> 00:07:08,467
I don't think so.
130
00:07:12,505 --> 00:07:16,003
- Lucky charms?
- How are you so satisfied all the time?
131
00:07:16,473 --> 00:07:19,437
Don't you ever want
anything more out of life than cereal?
132
00:07:20,443 --> 00:07:22,491
Sometimes I like to pour
hot cocoa mix into cold milk
133
00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:24,405
and drink like it
like a cold hot chocolate.
134
00:07:24,530 --> 00:07:25,776
I call it "special drink".
135
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:28,529
And some day you will know it
by its true name, "diabetes. "
136
00:07:31,992 --> 00:07:33,742
You're Goldie Hawn, Jeff.
137
00:07:33,908 --> 00:07:35,786
- I'm sorry?
- You're Goldie Hawn.
138
00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:37,531
Is it the lips?
139
00:07:37,808 --> 00:07:39,850
In overboard, she was just like you.
140
00:07:39,975 --> 00:07:42,627
Wealthy, assertive, arrogant.
Got manicures all the time.
141
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,920
But she fell off her boat,
good thing for her because,
142
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:48,341
she realized she was happier being poor
and rising four boys with Kurt Russell.
143
00:07:48,848 --> 00:07:50,259
Can I not be Kurt Russell?
144
00:07:50,427 --> 00:07:52,303
Do whatever you want.
You just have to know.
145
00:07:53,875 --> 00:07:55,775
For me, it's Lucky Charms...
146
00:07:56,436 --> 00:07:57,436
and tv.
147
00:08:00,658 --> 00:08:02,158
I could use a break.
148
00:08:04,563 --> 00:08:05,913
A picnic blanket.
149
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,236
Genius.
150
00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:09,194
I was gonna lay down on newspaper.
151
00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:11,906
It's the blanket my grandmother used
to court my grandfather.
152
00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:13,991
Yeah? That's pretty hot.
153
00:08:15,472 --> 00:08:16,472
Thanks.
154
00:08:19,359 --> 00:08:21,209
Tell that boy how you feel!
155
00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:23,184
It's scary.
156
00:08:23,692 --> 00:08:26,127
If he's not interested,
I could lose the friendship too.
157
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,595
You could.
Love is a gamble always.
158
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,998
But waiting won't change the dice.
You either roll them or lose your turn.
159
00:08:32,123 --> 00:08:34,880
I'm going to roll them.
I am. I just...
160
00:08:35,164 --> 00:08:36,914
I need a few more shakes.
161
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:39,257
Shake 'em in your mind, okay?
162
00:08:40,355 --> 00:08:42,281
Excuse me, Pierce's band is playing
163
00:08:42,406 --> 00:08:44,441
and I want to record
the train wreck.
164
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:47,119
Kind of hoping
for a Michael Richards situation.
165
00:08:52,702 --> 00:08:55,300
They're pretty good.
This isn't weird for you?
166
00:08:56,673 --> 00:08:59,745
Just want to show Vaughn some support
to help smooth things over.
167
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,622
Saying good-bye to Britta
168
00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:04,643
was the hardest thing to do.
169
00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:07,670
But when someone's
a bitch and a liar,
170
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:10,633
there ain't nothing left to woo.
171
00:09:11,653 --> 00:09:14,371
I'm getting rid of Britta.
What am I doing?
172
00:09:14,496 --> 00:09:17,407
- I'm getting rid of the b.
- She's a no-good b.
173
00:09:17,532 --> 00:09:19,849
I'm getting rid of Britta,
174
00:09:20,205 --> 00:09:23,394
- I'm getting rid of the b.
- She's a gdb.
175
00:09:25,146 --> 00:09:28,058
Same as a 45-year-old,
except he doesn't get as tired.
176
00:09:32,998 --> 00:09:34,768
Great to have somebody
to watch stuff with.
177
00:09:34,893 --> 00:09:37,366
My dad never wanted to watch anything
so I was kind of raised by tv.
178
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,009
Tv's the best dad there is.
179
00:09:40,134 --> 00:09:41,779
Tv never came home drunk.
180
00:09:41,904 --> 00:09:43,904
Tv never forgot me at the zoo.
181
00:09:44,031 --> 00:09:46,081
Tv never abused and insulted me,
182
00:09:46,529 --> 00:09:48,329
unless you count Cop Rock.
183
00:09:48,801 --> 00:09:49,879
Cop Rock.
184
00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:51,922
- That sounds cool.
- Doesn't it?
185
00:09:56,184 --> 00:09:59,639
You guys are really
dorming it up in here, huh?
186
00:10:00,323 --> 00:10:02,300
In the last two days,
I spent a quarter.
187
00:10:02,425 --> 00:10:04,736
- We're having the time of our lives.
- See?
188
00:10:04,861 --> 00:10:06,711
Who needs platinum faucets?
189
00:10:07,279 --> 00:10:09,154
Do you guys even have
faucets in here?
190
00:10:09,279 --> 00:10:11,593
There's a communal bathroom
down the hallway.
191
00:10:11,718 --> 00:10:14,285
It actually helped me come to terms
with losing my condo.
192
00:10:15,026 --> 00:10:18,199
You don't sit on a toilet like that
until you've left the material world.
193
00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:21,386
- Pavel!
- Hey, bros.
194
00:10:21,511 --> 00:10:23,530
This is Pavel. He lives next door.
He's from Poland.
195
00:10:26,266 --> 00:10:28,959
I'm getting rid of Britta,
getting rid of the b.
196
00:10:29,525 --> 00:10:32,254
Excuse me,
I have a future murder victim to visit.
197
00:10:50,357 --> 00:10:52,399
Guys, what the hell!
"Getting rid of Britta"?
198
00:10:52,875 --> 00:10:56,879
That song was disrespectful to me
and to the definition of "rhyme scheme".
199
00:10:58,065 --> 00:11:00,774
If you don't like my song,
you don't have to listen, all right?
200
00:11:00,899 --> 00:11:03,327
I'm an artist
and I write what I feel.
201
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,246
And I feel that you suck.
202
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,414
All right, hold on here.
203
00:11:07,827 --> 00:11:09,677
Can I have a word with you?
204
00:11:14,253 --> 00:11:16,415
Could you come here, please,
for a second?
205
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:20,854
What'd you say?
206
00:11:20,979 --> 00:11:23,450
I know Britta's your friend,
but my song is more important.
207
00:11:26,024 --> 00:11:28,179
Your song.
We wrote it together.
208
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,791
- Are you trying to Garfunkel me?
- Maybe.
209
00:11:30,916 --> 00:11:33,482
Assuming to "Garfunkel" someone
is to keep putting up with them
210
00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:37,444
even though they're a fat, lazy cat
who hogs the spotlight and eats lasagna.
211
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:38,988
I get it. You're jealous.
212
00:11:39,572 --> 00:11:42,575
- What? Why?
- I don't know.
213
00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:46,203
Because when I were these skinny jeans,
my ass looks like a baby pumpkin.
214
00:11:46,371 --> 00:11:47,872
Or because I'm not a small-nippled,
215
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,748
credit-hogging jag
who only knows three power cords.
216
00:11:51,347 --> 00:11:53,294
My band, my song!
217
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:57,548
You want that?
How you like that?
218
00:12:01,086 --> 00:12:02,344
You get on that horse.
219
00:12:08,565 --> 00:12:10,269
Did you just defend my honor?
220
00:12:13,085 --> 00:12:14,485
Oh, yeah, totally.
221
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:17,285
And you'll light the candles.
222
00:12:17,711 --> 00:12:19,361
And you'll take a bite.
223
00:12:19,771 --> 00:12:22,371
And she'll take a bite.
And you'll laugh.
224
00:12:24,165 --> 00:12:26,210
And you'll offer her
your letter jacket
225
00:12:26,335 --> 00:12:29,873
after you notice this funny way
she shakes when she gets cold.
226
00:12:29,998 --> 00:12:33,834
And she'll feel like
the luckiest girl in the world.
227
00:12:34,198 --> 00:12:35,198
Right.
228
00:12:37,372 --> 00:12:39,213
I couldn't have done this
without your help.
229
00:12:39,338 --> 00:12:40,788
You're really nice.
230
00:12:41,269 --> 00:12:43,369
We should've hung out more
in high school.
231
00:12:44,027 --> 00:12:46,347
Remember when you pretended
to be my backpack?
232
00:12:50,084 --> 00:12:51,084
I'm funny.
233
00:12:53,469 --> 00:12:54,469
All right.
234
00:12:55,744 --> 00:12:57,244
I got to go get ady.
235
00:12:57,442 --> 00:12:59,642
Troy, wait!
I have to tell you...
236
00:13:05,565 --> 00:13:07,743
- My appendix is bursting.
- What?
237
00:13:10,268 --> 00:13:11,956
My appendix is bursting.
238
00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:18,213
Two young students.
239
00:13:18,902 --> 00:13:20,872
Think I've been
to this dance before.
240
00:13:20,997 --> 00:13:22,757
You guys are sexual partners, right?
241
00:13:24,255 --> 00:13:26,595
Us? No.
He's my very good friend.
242
00:13:27,128 --> 00:13:28,389
And I have appendicitis.
243
00:13:32,763 --> 00:13:34,663
Thanks for bringing me here.
244
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,855
Guess I ruined your date, huh?
245
00:13:37,324 --> 00:13:39,108
Doesn't seem to be
anything wrong with you.
246
00:13:39,925 --> 00:13:42,069
Cool. I'll see you.
247
00:13:45,130 --> 00:13:47,430
- Where does it hurt?
- Everywhere.
248
00:13:47,659 --> 00:13:50,703
Okay, we have to quarantine you.
We got to get you to a safe distance.
249
00:13:51,204 --> 00:13:53,518
- My date's on the east lawn.
- East lawn. Perfect.
250
00:13:55,208 --> 00:13:57,334
This a date?
You'll need these.
251
00:13:57,645 --> 00:13:59,645
Nice. I'll be thinking of you.
252
00:14:00,962 --> 00:14:02,256
Okay, I need to go.
253
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:04,820
No, we...
We have to observe you overnight.
254
00:14:04,954 --> 00:14:05,954
It's policy.
255
00:14:06,332 --> 00:14:09,270
We don't want another
"Vanessa Parsons" on our hand.
256
00:14:09,395 --> 00:14:11,640
She was the "typhoid mary"
of herpes.
257
00:14:12,774 --> 00:14:16,124
I'm kind of the hawkeye
around here so it's kind of a...
258
00:14:17,015 --> 00:14:18,271
Are you seeing anybody?
259
00:14:22,464 --> 00:14:25,653
- You guys weren't in spanish class.
- Knight Rider marathon.
260
00:14:25,822 --> 00:14:28,588
Shadowy flight into the world of a man
who does not exist.
261
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,622
May I have a word?
262
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,172
- Has this always been here?
- You need to take Jeff back.
263
00:14:43,641 --> 00:14:45,225
Never had him. Don't want him.
264
00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:48,626
Especially now.
He's got a real Phil Spector vibe going.
265
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:51,355
He's like E.T.
He crashed in my place.
266
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,189
And we're friends now,
it's great for me, but it's bad for him.
267
00:14:54,484 --> 00:14:57,353
- He needs to get back.
- What am I supposed to do about that?
268
00:14:57,886 --> 00:14:58,979
Use your lady parts.
269
00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:02,816
Don't be naive. The charge between you
was keeping him going.
270
00:15:03,546 --> 00:15:05,594
Tell him you'll make love to him
if he takes a shower
271
00:15:05,719 --> 00:15:07,111
and finds a nice place to live.
272
00:15:07,324 --> 00:15:09,782
I'm heading back.
Pavel's making babka.
273
00:15:10,939 --> 00:15:12,140
Do it. Seduce him.
274
00:15:12,265 --> 00:15:15,621
Draw the tapeworm of Jeff out of him
with your sexuality.
275
00:15:17,766 --> 00:15:19,516
Then say good-bye to E.T.
276
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,471
Abed, it's open!
277
00:15:39,088 --> 00:15:41,387
What are you doing?
That was the Jeffersons, honky.
278
00:15:41,512 --> 00:15:44,762
I was wrong, okay?
Material possessions are important.
279
00:15:45,207 --> 00:15:47,024
Think how much happier
the Jeffersons were
280
00:15:47,149 --> 00:15:48,552
than that family on good times.
281
00:15:48,997 --> 00:15:51,935
- But they had good times.
- Well, do good times really matter?
282
00:15:52,060 --> 00:15:54,623
What about good cars, good lobster?
283
00:15:54,748 --> 00:15:55,893
What about that...
284
00:15:56,018 --> 00:15:57,895
That sport where the British people
285
00:15:58,020 --> 00:16:00,416
ride the horses
with the really long hammers?
286
00:16:00,541 --> 00:16:02,566
Jeez, you are way out
of your element here.
287
00:16:02,818 --> 00:16:05,670
Yes, and I do not believe a single word
I am saying for me.
288
00:16:05,795 --> 00:16:08,107
But for you, maybe you're one
of those rare people
289
00:16:08,232 --> 00:16:09,980
with nothing underneath the surface.
290
00:16:10,105 --> 00:16:12,856
Maybe if you put
stain remover on a turd,
291
00:16:12,981 --> 00:16:14,198
you don't get a diamond.
292
00:16:14,323 --> 00:16:17,163
You just get a turd
with less direction in life.
293
00:16:17,590 --> 00:16:19,500
Thanks, coach.
Can you turn the tv back on?
294
00:16:26,294 --> 00:16:29,510
- Faucets.
- Italian faucets, handcrafted.
295
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:31,217
These look like...
296
00:16:31,342 --> 00:16:32,342
Wait...
297
00:16:33,271 --> 00:16:37,275
I made this notch to indicate
optimal cleansing temperature
298
00:16:37,979 --> 00:16:39,529
for combination skin.
299
00:16:40,518 --> 00:16:41,527
These were mine?
300
00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:43,982
For a fancy condo,
you've got awful security.
301
00:16:44,246 --> 00:16:46,363
Install those in a new apartment
so that every day,
302
00:16:46,488 --> 00:16:48,853
when you're spending
way too much time on your hair,
303
00:16:48,978 --> 00:16:50,571
you can look down and think,
304
00:16:50,696 --> 00:16:53,918
"I was a huge phony before.
I can do it again!"
305
00:16:58,489 --> 00:17:01,334
- You're into me.
- I beg your unbelievable pardon.
306
00:17:01,502 --> 00:17:05,421
Look at all this work you're doing
just to have me around again.
307
00:17:06,501 --> 00:17:09,091
You were may more attracted to me
than you were willing to admit.
308
00:17:09,259 --> 00:17:11,926
I was doing this all for Abed.
You are the worst.
309
00:17:12,869 --> 00:17:14,069
Yeah. Clearly.
310
00:17:23,514 --> 00:17:26,099
I just want you to know,
I haven't changed my mind.
311
00:17:26,224 --> 00:17:27,224
I am out.
312
00:17:31,293 --> 00:17:34,093
Also, do me a favor,
will you lay off Britta?
313
00:17:34,994 --> 00:17:37,040
She may walk like
she just got off a horse,
314
00:17:37,165 --> 00:17:39,726
but underneath
all that clown makeup,
315
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,495
she's a good kid.
316
00:17:42,639 --> 00:17:43,939
No worries, man.
317
00:17:45,474 --> 00:17:46,674
I've moved on.
318
00:17:47,635 --> 00:17:49,562
- Lates!
- Lates. Okay.
319
00:17:50,326 --> 00:17:51,509
Snakes. What?
320
00:18:00,758 --> 00:18:03,829
Pierce, I don't need you in my band.
321
00:18:04,915 --> 00:18:07,732
I don't need your heart
or your hand.
322
00:18:08,945 --> 00:18:10,900
I am my own person,
323
00:18:11,644 --> 00:18:12,987
and, Pierce, you're a b.
324
00:18:13,489 --> 00:18:15,238
Yeah, you heard me say it.
325
00:18:16,109 --> 00:18:18,187
Pierce, you're a b.
326
00:18:25,484 --> 00:18:28,534
Before you two proceed,
I have one thing to say...
327
00:18:32,944 --> 00:18:35,136
Did you... say it already?
328
00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,012
I want my blanket back.
329
00:18:39,289 --> 00:18:40,639
Do you guys mind?
330
00:18:40,764 --> 00:18:42,314
Could you scoot over?
331
00:18:42,439 --> 00:18:44,018
It's an heirloom.
I want it back.
332
00:18:46,985 --> 00:18:47,985
Thank you.
333
00:18:48,633 --> 00:18:49,692
Have a nice date.
334
00:18:53,261 --> 00:18:56,361
I don't care what you think.
For me, that was huge.
335
00:18:56,707 --> 00:18:59,557
I know, sweetie.
Let's go find you some pants.
336
00:19:02,873 --> 00:19:04,960
This song's for Pierce
'cause he's so old
337
00:19:05,085 --> 00:19:06,973
His body made of wrinkles and folds.
338
00:19:07,098 --> 00:19:09,033
Stupid and ugly,
he smell like a fart,
339
00:19:09,158 --> 00:19:11,130
the poo-poo in his pants
and poo-poo in my heart.
340
00:19:12,896 --> 00:19:15,259
Look who the cat
dragged out and licked clean.
341
00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:17,136
I saw how much you missed me,
342
00:19:17,522 --> 00:19:20,162
and smelled what happens
to Pavel on cabbage night,
343
00:19:20,287 --> 00:19:23,142
and realized the world
was better off with me in it.
344
00:19:25,453 --> 00:19:26,453
Thanks...
345
00:19:27,285 --> 00:19:28,285
For, uh...
346
00:19:29,403 --> 00:19:30,403
Caring.
347
00:19:33,620 --> 00:19:35,222
You look like you moved out.
348
00:19:35,347 --> 00:19:38,247
I checked into a motel
and I'm looking for apartments.
349
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,662
You would've been fine with me
staying there forever?
350
00:19:42,787 --> 00:19:43,786
Yep.
351
00:19:44,373 --> 00:19:46,660
- You're pretty cool, Abed.
- You're a huge nerd.
352
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,160
Thanks.
353
00:19:56,422 --> 00:19:57,472
I'm Pierce.
354
00:19:57,992 --> 00:19:59,592
Yeah. Song's about me.
355
00:20:31,073 --> 00:20:33,318
East side, west side,
North side, south
356
00:20:33,486 --> 00:20:36,065
Vaughn's breath is so bad,
His butts mad at his mouth
357
00:20:36,190 --> 00:20:38,597
This rap is by Pierce,
Vaughn is dumb
358
00:20:38,722 --> 00:20:41,391
He wears diapers to bed,
And sucks his mothers thumb
359
00:20:41,516 --> 00:20:43,932
And when he wakes up,
Stupid wishing he was me
360
00:20:44,057 --> 00:20:46,822
He has a big poop breakfast,
With a glass of pee
361
00:20:47,048 --> 00:20:49,272
Then he goes to school,
Where he's stupid again
362
00:20:49,487 --> 00:20:51,954
And everybody hates him,
Even all his friends
363
00:20:52,157 --> 00:20:54,546
When you come after Pierce,
Then the battle is on
364
00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:57,115
So this rap goes out,
To stupid Vaughn
365
00:21:00,167 --> 00:21:01,526
Well played Pierce.
366
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,140
This isn't over.