1 00:00:00,917 --> 00:00:01,951 - [blowing] 2 00:00:02,017 --> 00:00:02,851 Okay, you can hear this? okay. 3 00:00:02,917 --> 00:00:04,584 Good morning. 4 00:00:04,650 --> 00:00:07,917 I'm here to kick off the first day of new tradition 5 00:00:07,984 --> 00:00:10,784 At our school called "green week." 6 00:00:10,851 --> 00:00:12,751 - what? 7 00:00:12,817 --> 00:00:14,283 First, we give a month to black history, 8 00:00:14,350 --> 00:00:16,118 Now we're blowing seven days on the irish. 9 00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,484 - all this week, greendale college 10 00:00:18,550 --> 00:00:20,884 Is becoming so earth-smart 11 00:00:20,951 --> 00:00:23,984 That we're changing our name to envirodale! 12 00:00:24,051 --> 00:00:26,118 [sparse clapping] 13 00:00:26,184 --> 00:00:29,051 - but we were already called greendale. 14 00:00:29,118 --> 00:00:30,383 [chuckles] 15 00:00:32,218 --> 00:00:36,283 Well, there's, um, also going to be 16 00:00:36,350 --> 00:00:38,684 A free rock and roll concert 17 00:00:38,751 --> 00:00:42,550 By a certain band called green day. 18 00:00:42,617 --> 00:00:44,517 [more clapping, whistling] 19 00:00:44,584 --> 00:00:45,917 Huh? that make you happy? 20 00:00:45,984 --> 00:00:47,184 - eh, no. not really. 21 00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:49,050 - [whispering] okay, we need to redo these. 22 00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:50,384 - we printed 5,000. 23 00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,050 - well, print 5,000 more. 24 00:00:52,117 --> 00:00:53,217 I'm trying to save the planet, here. 25 00:01:01,817 --> 00:01:03,750 - pencils down. 26 00:01:18,850 --> 00:01:20,351 [clears throat] 27 00:01:36,967 --> 00:01:40,300 I want you all to write a one-page essay, 28 00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:43,101 in espanol, entitled, annie's mistake. 29 00:01:46,068 --> 00:01:48,600 - why doesn't annie have to write it? 30 00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:52,534 - okay, two pages, entitled, 31 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,967 the consequences of questioning authority. 32 00:01:55,034 --> 00:01:56,801 - this is spanish 101. 33 00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:57,967 I know how to say "hello," "tomorrow," 34 00:01:58,034 --> 00:01:59,068 And that tables are female. 35 00:01:59,134 --> 00:02:00,300 That's the only spanish you taught us. 36 00:02:00,367 --> 00:02:04,967 - oh, six pages on ignorance. 37 00:02:05,034 --> 00:02:07,168 - guys, put your hands down. 38 00:02:07,233 --> 00:02:10,467 Senor chang, please continue. we respect your authority. 39 00:02:10,534 --> 00:02:11,734 - thank you, britta. 40 00:02:11,801 --> 00:02:14,267 20 pages on ass kissing! 41 00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:16,101 Due on monday. 42 00:02:16,168 --> 00:02:17,600 - this monday? 43 00:02:17,634 --> 00:02:23,801 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 44 00:02:23,867 --> 00:02:26,034 - you know, if senor chang gets any crazier, 45 00:02:26,101 --> 00:02:28,068 He's gonna win one of those grammy awards. 46 00:02:28,134 --> 00:02:29,767 [laughing] 47 00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:34,101 - i've already reported him to the dean. 48 00:02:34,168 --> 00:02:35,600 He said they've been trying to fire him for three years, 49 00:02:35,667 --> 00:02:37,068 But nobody wants his job. 50 00:02:37,134 --> 00:02:39,500 - mm-mm, i can't write a 20-page paper. 51 00:02:39,567 --> 00:02:41,333 I got a presentation in my marketing class on friday 52 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,101 And public speaking gives me the nervous sweats. 53 00:02:44,168 --> 00:02:45,500 - i can help you with that. 54 00:02:45,567 --> 00:02:47,034 - i accept. 55 00:02:47,101 --> 00:02:48,767 That's how messed up things are. 56 00:02:48,834 --> 00:02:50,467 - well, we're screwed too. 57 00:02:50,534 --> 00:02:52,734 We're three days behind on our biology lab. 58 00:02:52,801 --> 00:02:54,034 - the reason it's taking so long is because troy's afraid-- 59 00:02:54,101 --> 00:02:56,333 - i'm not afraid, abed. 60 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,667 I choose not to be around rats because they are unpopular. 61 00:02:59,734 --> 00:03:01,467 Same goes for centipedes and lakes. 62 00:03:01,534 --> 00:03:02,901 - there's only one solution. 63 00:03:02,967 --> 00:03:05,300 Someone has to go to chang and talk to him. 64 00:03:05,367 --> 00:03:07,333 - i vote we all look at jeff at the same time. 65 00:03:11,168 --> 00:03:14,068 - in a way, all of you are right. 66 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,034 Okay, what was i tuning out? 67 00:03:16,101 --> 00:03:18,634 - you have to get chang to call off some of this homework. 68 00:03:18,701 --> 00:03:19,934 You're the one with the silver tongue. 69 00:03:20,001 --> 00:03:22,067 - yeah, go tongue chang. 70 00:03:22,134 --> 00:03:24,234 - guys, what makes you think i can convince chang of anything 71 00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:26,900 If i can't even convince you not to make me do it? 72 00:03:26,967 --> 00:03:28,267 - i guess it sounds crazy. - oh... 73 00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:30,067 - jeff does raise a good point. - i don't get it. 74 00:03:30,134 --> 00:03:31,868 - wait, you are convincing! 75 00:03:31,933 --> 00:03:33,167 - [gasps] 76 00:03:33,234 --> 00:03:34,634 - you just made us change. you could do it. 77 00:03:34,701 --> 00:03:37,534 - you want me to risk the "c" 78 00:03:37,601 --> 00:03:39,200 That i'm pulling in that psycho's class 79 00:03:39,267 --> 00:03:40,801 By putting myself on his radar? 80 00:03:40,868 --> 00:03:41,801 I mean, that guy goes any more nuts, 81 00:03:41,868 --> 00:03:43,100 He's gonna win a grammy. 82 00:03:43,167 --> 00:03:44,300 [laughter] - you are hilarious. 83 00:03:44,367 --> 00:03:45,768 - that's very funny. - he's funny. 84 00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:46,967 - what is it, the chair? 85 00:03:47,033 --> 00:03:47,601 - jeff, how do you think 86 00:03:47,667 --> 00:03:49,267 You're gonna keep pulling a "c" in that psycho's class 87 00:03:49,334 --> 00:03:51,000 If he keeps assigning this much work? 88 00:03:51,067 --> 00:03:55,300 - because i have you guys. 89 00:03:55,367 --> 00:03:57,768 - well, guess what, handsome hobo. 90 00:03:57,834 --> 00:04:00,434 Your gravy train's leavin' the station. 91 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:03,501 [imitates train] 92 00:04:03,567 --> 00:04:05,634 - ignore what she's doing. we are serious. 93 00:04:05,701 --> 00:04:08,267 - fine. i'll do it. 94 00:04:08,334 --> 00:04:11,601 But when you find my body, don't believe the suicide note. 95 00:04:16,933 --> 00:04:19,967 - hmm. this better not awaken anything in me. 96 00:04:20,033 --> 00:04:21,768 - [knocks] green day's here. 97 00:04:21,834 --> 00:04:23,234 - oh, wow. 98 00:04:28,534 --> 00:04:30,768 Okay, what's this about, now? 99 00:04:30,834 --> 00:04:34,367 - we're greene daeye. 100 00:04:34,434 --> 00:04:35,601 - oh. 101 00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:38,401 - [knocks] 102 00:04:38,467 --> 00:04:39,667 - what do you want, winger? 103 00:04:39,734 --> 00:04:41,067 Here to complain about the homework 104 00:04:41,134 --> 00:04:43,801 On behalf of the class? 105 00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:45,801 - can i ask you a personal question, senor chang? 106 00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:49,200 - [laughs] okay, freud. 107 00:04:49,267 --> 00:04:52,834 Sure. you try to penetrate my psychological armor, and-- 108 00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:53,967 - did your wife leave you? 109 00:04:54,033 --> 00:04:56,534 - holy-- [gasps] 110 00:04:56,601 --> 00:04:58,567 How did you know? 111 00:04:58,634 --> 00:05:00,100 - well, when you pick juries, 112 00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:02,300 You learn to read the little stuff. 113 00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:03,667 Same shirt twice in one week. 114 00:05:03,734 --> 00:05:06,834 teaching us the word "esposa" means "liar." 115 00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:08,534 The picture of you with a woman 116 00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:11,234 With a post-it note dialogue balloon above her head 117 00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:14,134 That says, "enjoy it while it lasts." 118 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,801 - we met at a salsa club. 119 00:05:17,868 --> 00:05:19,267 - mm. 120 00:05:19,334 --> 00:05:19,901 - and, um... 121 00:05:22,168 --> 00:05:24,834 she loved the way i danced. 122 00:05:24,901 --> 00:05:27,767 But...i mean, you know how it goes. 123 00:05:27,834 --> 00:05:29,268 Just--get a job... 124 00:05:29,333 --> 00:05:31,567 - stop salsa dancing. of course i know. 125 00:05:31,634 --> 00:05:34,333 - you make no mistake about this, winger. 126 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,001 I pleasured that woman greatly. 127 00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:38,967 - yeah. you look like you would have to. 128 00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:40,667 I'm not surprised you said that. 129 00:05:46,967 --> 00:05:49,234 - i like you, winger. 130 00:05:53,367 --> 00:05:55,567 Pickled bull testicle? 131 00:05:55,634 --> 00:05:59,168 - uh, are you offering or collecting? 132 00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:01,001 [air hisses] 133 00:06:01,067 --> 00:06:05,734 - * mary had a little lamb * 134 00:06:05,801 --> 00:06:08,400 ♪ little lamb, little lamb... ♪ 135 00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:11,534 - * row, row, row your boat * 136 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,300 - * somewhere out there * 137 00:06:15,367 --> 00:06:16,801 Troy, sing. 138 00:06:16,867 --> 00:06:19,067 The assignment is to train a rat to respond to a specific song. 139 00:06:19,134 --> 00:06:20,600 - yeah, did you have to pick a duet? 140 00:06:20,667 --> 00:06:23,101 Hmm? - hmm? 141 00:06:25,801 --> 00:06:30,367 Both: * somewhere out there * 142 00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:33,534 ♪ beneath the pale moonlight ♪ 143 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,567 - he did it! good boy, fievel. 144 00:06:35,634 --> 00:06:37,700 Commencing reward. i have to open the cage. 145 00:06:37,767 --> 00:06:39,201 - yeah, you don't have to warn me; i'm not afrai-- 146 00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:41,867 [screams] 147 00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:43,867 [screaming] 148 00:06:43,934 --> 00:06:45,634 [laughter] 149 00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:46,634 - fievel. 150 00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:49,934 - everybody shut up! 151 00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:51,667 I'll kick all your asses! 152 00:06:51,734 --> 00:06:55,134 But y'all have to come up here! 153 00:06:55,201 --> 00:06:58,400 - [laughs] dude, you are gonna be fine. 154 00:06:58,467 --> 00:07:00,834 - ah. yeah. - you just have to move on. 155 00:07:00,901 --> 00:07:03,101 And if you hang out with me sometime, 156 00:07:03,168 --> 00:07:05,667 You will see how great single life can be. 157 00:07:05,734 --> 00:07:07,734 - yeah? - yeah. 158 00:07:07,801 --> 00:07:08,667 - what about tonight? 159 00:07:09,734 --> 00:07:11,567 - absolutely. 160 00:07:11,634 --> 00:07:14,001 Oh, shoot. 161 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:17,734 My spanish study group has to get together every night now. 162 00:07:17,801 --> 00:07:18,967 You know, you have been really 163 00:07:19,034 --> 00:07:20,333 Letting us have it with this homework. 164 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,534 - i really have, haven't i? 165 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,433 - yeah. 166 00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:24,834 - tell you what. 167 00:07:24,901 --> 00:07:27,967 For my new buddy jeff, essay canceled. sha-clackey. 168 00:07:28,034 --> 00:07:32,168 - fantastic. that is fantastic. everybody will be so happy. 169 00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:35,101 - oh, oh, i didn't say everybody. 170 00:07:35,168 --> 00:07:37,734 It's for my new friend jeff. 171 00:07:37,801 --> 00:07:39,168 I mean, you're the one coming out with me, right? 172 00:07:39,234 --> 00:07:41,201 - right. yeah. 173 00:07:41,268 --> 00:07:44,201 - i suppose it will put you in an unenviable 174 00:07:44,268 --> 00:07:45,967 And uncomfortable position, and want to be-- 175 00:07:46,034 --> 00:07:47,234 - here's your jacket. let's do this. 176 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,333 - [knocks] 177 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:51,634 - is there a rat in here? 178 00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:53,901 - i have no idea what you're talking about. 179 00:07:53,967 --> 00:07:55,168 - abed. 180 00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:06,634 - well, did you talk to chang? 181 00:08:06,701 --> 00:08:09,767 - yeah, but it didn't do any good. 182 00:08:09,834 --> 00:08:11,334 My head still hurts from all the yelling. 183 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,601 And my pupils are more sensitive to light 184 00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:15,133 Because he yelled at me so much. 185 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:18,033 - oh, now i feel bad that we made you do that. 186 00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:19,101 Maybe we can help with your essay. 187 00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:23,468 - oh, that's okay. i'm working on mine by myself. 188 00:08:23,534 --> 00:08:25,000 You could do my homework next time. 189 00:08:25,067 --> 00:08:27,733 See you in class. 190 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:28,734 - he's hiding something. 191 00:08:29,701 --> 00:08:31,667 - britta, jeff suffered for us. give him a little credit. 192 00:08:31,734 --> 00:08:33,367 - yeah. you can be pretty cold. 193 00:08:33,434 --> 00:08:34,467 - troy? 194 00:08:34,534 --> 00:08:37,267 Damn. Here comes Abed. he needs my help. 195 00:08:37,334 --> 00:08:38,234 I got to get out of here. 196 00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:40,600 - troy? 197 00:08:40,667 --> 00:08:42,500 Have you guys seen a rat? 198 00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:45,300 Troy knocked over fievel's cage and he escaped. 199 00:08:45,367 --> 00:08:47,300 - oh, abed, i'm sorry. 200 00:08:47,367 --> 00:08:49,600 He probably found more rats 201 00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:51,434 And is very happy living with them. 202 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:54,634 - try to join the rest of us in reality, britta. 203 00:08:56,001 --> 00:08:57,500 - [trembling voice] i believe that, uh, 204 00:08:57,567 --> 00:09:00,534 Fusing brownies with the, uh, internet 205 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,534 Is going to create the next napster 206 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,134 [clears throat] for brownies. 207 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,801 - yawn! 208 00:09:05,867 --> 00:09:07,600 - can't i just write it on cards? 209 00:09:07,667 --> 00:09:09,834 - no. 210 00:09:09,901 --> 00:09:13,068 Do you know anybody who reads from cards? 211 00:09:13,134 --> 00:09:16,367 No, you don't, and that's why. 212 00:09:16,434 --> 00:09:19,434 Also you might consider a darker top. 213 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:20,534 - note taken. 214 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,734 - oh, and... [laughs] 215 00:09:22,801 --> 00:09:24,200 Don't--don't, uh, lock your knees. 216 00:09:24,267 --> 00:09:25,600 Never lock your knees. 217 00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:27,168 You know what happens when you lock your knees? 218 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,634 You die. 219 00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:29,801 Second, 220 00:09:29,867 --> 00:09:31,767 When you want to drive home a point, 221 00:09:31,834 --> 00:09:33,200 Hand them a sandwich. 222 00:09:33,267 --> 00:09:35,367 Try it. hand them a sandwich. 223 00:09:35,434 --> 00:09:36,801 - hand them a sandwich. 224 00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:39,967 - yeah, except you just dropped, uh, the sandwich, 225 00:09:40,034 --> 00:09:41,100 As opposed to handing it to them. 226 00:09:41,167 --> 00:09:42,801 - hand them--oh, okay. - right. so yeah. 227 00:09:42,868 --> 00:09:45,868 And try attention-grabbing words to wake up the audience 228 00:09:45,967 --> 00:09:47,157 Such as, uh, "multiple orgasm." 229 00:09:47,234 --> 00:09:49,367 - oh, no, no, i don't think that would 230 00:09:49,434 --> 00:09:50,767 Really fit into my message. 231 00:09:50,834 --> 00:09:53,567 Maybe we should focus, uh, more on, um, uh... 232 00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:55,967 - yeah, and about these filler words of yours. 233 00:09:56,034 --> 00:09:59,034 I mean, nobody wants to buy brownies from somebody who says, 234 00:09:59,101 --> 00:10:01,134 "um," and "like." 235 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,734 I have a method for fixing that. start from the top. 236 00:10:03,801 --> 00:10:05,434 - okay. [clears throat] 237 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,101 These brownies are, um-- 238 00:10:07,168 --> 00:10:08,934 - uh! 239 00:10:09,001 --> 00:10:10,101 - they, um-- 240 00:10:10,168 --> 00:10:12,267 - uh! 241 00:10:12,333 --> 00:10:14,233 - these brownies are... 242 00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,267 Delicious. 243 00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:18,567 They taste like-- - like! 244 00:10:18,634 --> 00:10:19,767 - that's not a filler word. 245 00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:21,434 - whatever, valley girl. 246 00:10:23,367 --> 00:10:26,934 - the difference between usted and tu 247 00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,734 Is a matter of formality. 248 00:10:28,801 --> 00:10:32,667 pepe, usted es viejo. 249 00:10:32,734 --> 00:10:35,434 "you are old." 250 00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:39,701 alberto, usted es feo. 251 00:10:39,767 --> 00:10:41,967 "you are ugly." 252 00:10:42,034 --> 00:10:43,734 - no, you're not, abed. - thanks. 253 00:10:43,801 --> 00:10:45,400 Shakira... 254 00:10:45,467 --> 00:10:46,767 Shakira... 255 00:10:46,834 --> 00:10:50,200 y tupaco... 256 00:10:50,267 --> 00:10:53,701 ustedes estan sucios. 257 00:10:53,767 --> 00:10:55,901 "you are dirty." 258 00:10:55,967 --> 00:10:56,967 - dirty? [gasps] 259 00:10:57,034 --> 00:10:58,901 - still formal, but plural. 260 00:10:58,967 --> 00:11:01,300 Because, while both are dirty, 261 00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:03,200 Neither are my friends. 262 00:11:03,267 --> 00:11:04,333 Okay? 263 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:05,867 And, on another subject, 264 00:11:05,934 --> 00:11:07,934 Hope you guys are working hard on your essays. 265 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,034 Because that's gonna be 30% of your grade. 266 00:11:10,101 --> 00:11:11,233 [all gasp] - no. 267 00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:14,567 - jeff...already turned in his essay. 268 00:11:14,634 --> 00:11:15,567 Great job. 269 00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:17,001 - thanks. 270 00:11:17,068 --> 00:11:19,367 - as soon as you turn in your essays on monday, 271 00:11:19,434 --> 00:11:21,300 There's gonna be a big-ass quiz. 272 00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:23,967 So study hard. class dismissed. 273 00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:28,301 Ahh. 274 00:11:28,368 --> 00:11:29,400 - [laughing] hey, dude. 275 00:11:29,467 --> 00:11:31,834 - crazy night last night, man. 276 00:11:31,901 --> 00:11:33,934 - hey, when you go out with me, it gets crazy. 277 00:11:34,001 --> 00:11:36,067 That's the winger guarantee, huh? 278 00:11:36,134 --> 00:11:38,034 - dude, let's do it again. 279 00:11:38,101 --> 00:11:39,734 - ooh, yeah, i want to. 280 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,567 It's just the quiz, you know? 281 00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,334 Study, study. 282 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,001 - well, how 'bout this? 283 00:11:46,067 --> 00:11:47,301 Bling. 284 00:11:47,368 --> 00:11:48,533 A-plus. 285 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:49,967 Nice work, winger! 286 00:11:50,034 --> 00:11:52,034 - you know, i knew i could do it if i applied myself. 287 00:11:52,101 --> 00:11:53,234 [both laughing] 288 00:11:53,301 --> 00:11:54,734 - cher--cherry daiquiri. 289 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,700 - [laughing] cherry daiquiri! 290 00:11:56,767 --> 00:11:57,634 - daiquiri. 291 00:11:59,667 --> 00:12:01,800 - [weakly] uh-huh. 292 00:12:01,867 --> 00:12:03,001 Later. 293 00:12:03,067 --> 00:12:04,433 - you devious clump 294 00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:06,268 Of overpriced fabric and hair product. 295 00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:07,634 - speaking as one of the meek, 296 00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:09,234 As soon as i inherit the earth, you a dead man. 297 00:12:09,301 --> 00:12:11,634 - you got a weird forehead. 298 00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:13,167 - we're all very disappointed. 299 00:12:13,234 --> 00:12:14,767 - all right, dial it back a little, britta. 300 00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:16,533 - if anyone should be disappointed, it's me. 301 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,867 What kind of a group threatens to kick someone out 302 00:12:18,934 --> 00:12:20,301 Unless he helps them? 303 00:12:20,368 --> 00:12:22,433 - what kind of a person is asked to help other people 304 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:23,600 And then helps himself! 305 00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:24,533 - yeah. - mm-hmm. 306 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,167 - helps himself? 307 00:12:26,234 --> 00:12:28,167 I don't think i like being talked to that way! 308 00:12:28,234 --> 00:12:31,334 - he's using fake outrage to justify leaving. 309 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,634 - fake outrage? justify my-- 310 00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:35,334 Yeah, that's it. i'm out of here. 311 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,700 - oh, you're breaking up with the group? 312 00:12:37,767 --> 00:12:39,400 - that's what you guys want. 313 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,533 - it's all right, i've been divorced seven times. 314 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:42,800 Don't answer your phones 315 00:12:42,867 --> 00:12:45,167 And bury all your money in the backyard. 316 00:12:45,234 --> 00:12:45,834 - here you go. 317 00:12:45,901 --> 00:12:47,467 Look at pierce's paragraph from unit two. 318 00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:52,400 - let's see. "I took a computer class..." 319 00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:53,600 The apple store. 320 00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:54,967 Adorable. - keep going, keep going. 321 00:12:55,034 --> 00:12:59,734 - and the saleswoman had manzanas gigante. 322 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,001 Ruined it. 323 00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:02,500 - can you imagine being married to him? 324 00:13:02,567 --> 00:13:03,901 - seven times! 325 00:13:03,967 --> 00:13:07,001 Seven different women agreed to marry that guy. 326 00:13:07,067 --> 00:13:08,400 - it's cra-- [laughing] 327 00:13:08,467 --> 00:13:13,134 - [high-pitched sobbing] 328 00:13:13,201 --> 00:13:14,600 I'm so alone. 329 00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:16,867 I'm so lonely! 330 00:13:16,934 --> 00:13:17,467 I want to die. 331 00:13:17,533 --> 00:13:19,734 - come on man, it-- come on, don't do that. 332 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,400 - [catching his breath] 333 00:13:22,467 --> 00:13:24,201 I... 334 00:13:24,268 --> 00:13:26,667 Just miss her so much. - yeah. 335 00:13:26,734 --> 00:13:28,334 - [sobbing] i'm sorry. 336 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,634 This is so stupid. - no, no, it's fine. 337 00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,067 It's just--buddy, you know... 338 00:13:32,134 --> 00:13:35,567 - it's dumb! - i can see that you're hurting. 339 00:13:35,634 --> 00:13:37,001 Um, but i have to get to accounting. 340 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,301 And it's not like i'm hitting strip clubs 341 00:13:38,368 --> 00:13:39,467 With professor whitman. 342 00:13:39,533 --> 00:13:41,800 - you better not be! - what? 343 00:13:41,867 --> 00:13:43,901 - all i ask [sniffles] 344 00:13:43,967 --> 00:13:46,467 Is for you to keep filling the void in my soul. 345 00:13:46,533 --> 00:13:49,001 - well, i'll have to think of something. 346 00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:52,002 Let me rest gently on your pecs. 347 00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:56,401 - best closer to a presentation, a nicholson quote. 348 00:13:56,467 --> 00:13:59,234 Uh, you take a phrase from one of his films 349 00:13:59,301 --> 00:14:00,700 And you tailor it to your product. 350 00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:02,834 You can't handle a moist towelette! 351 00:14:03,101 --> 00:14:04,534 Something like that, you know? 352 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,800 But you can't use that one. that's--that's mine. 353 00:14:06,867 --> 00:14:08,201 - thanks, pierce. - sure. 354 00:14:08,267 --> 00:14:10,000 - i'm just gonna write it on some cards. 355 00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:11,367 - okay. 356 00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:15,468 Just don't let anybody know i was involved. 357 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,000 - why do you care so much? 358 00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:32,234 - i don't. 359 00:14:32,301 --> 00:14:33,501 - because fievel's going to die. 360 00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:35,568 - i'd rather die than listen. 361 00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:37,000 - who's going to die? - yeah. 362 00:14:37,067 --> 00:14:38,234 - the dean says the exterminator is coming 363 00:14:38,301 --> 00:14:39,600 Because of our rat. 364 00:14:39,667 --> 00:14:41,900 - i'd like to exterminate this conversation. 365 00:14:41,967 --> 00:14:43,434 - what are you doing? 366 00:14:43,501 --> 00:14:44,501 - he's sitting in jeff's chair, 367 00:14:44,568 --> 00:14:45,434 So he's trying to act like jeff. 368 00:14:45,501 --> 00:14:47,568 All: oh! 369 00:14:47,633 --> 00:14:50,000 [groaning] ohh. 370 00:14:50,067 --> 00:14:51,733 - oh, an email. 371 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:52,400 - i thought you might want to help me out 372 00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:54,001 Because we are friends. 373 00:14:54,068 --> 00:14:55,801 - abed, take it from a former prom king. 374 00:14:55,867 --> 00:14:58,567 real friends help me with things. 375 00:14:58,634 --> 00:14:59,701 Not vice versa. 376 00:14:59,767 --> 00:15:01,634 - i would face my fears to help you. 377 00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:04,567 - exactly! 'cause you're my friend. 378 00:15:04,634 --> 00:15:06,834 - am i? 379 00:15:06,901 --> 00:15:08,834 ♪ somewhere ♪ 380 00:15:08,901 --> 00:15:11,434 ♪ out there ♪ 381 00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:12,934 - oh, abed. 382 00:15:13,001 --> 00:15:13,834 - * beneath the pale... * 383 00:15:13,901 --> 00:15:14,568 - he gets any nuttier, 384 00:15:14,633 --> 00:15:15,468 they're gonna put him on the view. 385 00:15:15,534 --> 00:15:17,167 [laughter] 386 00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:18,501 - that works, yeah. 387 00:15:18,568 --> 00:15:20,633 - what are we gonna do? we gonna study? 388 00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:21,800 - oh, my-- 389 00:15:21,867 --> 00:15:23,434 - fievel? 390 00:15:23,501 --> 00:15:25,167 Fievel? 391 00:15:25,234 --> 00:15:26,134 Fievel? 392 00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:29,867 [whispers] fievel. 393 00:15:29,934 --> 00:15:31,867 - whoo! whoo! whoo! 394 00:15:31,934 --> 00:15:33,434 [laughs] okay, thank you. 395 00:15:33,501 --> 00:15:35,700 Green week was a rousing success 396 00:15:35,767 --> 00:15:38,501 Here at greendale. [laughs] 397 00:15:38,568 --> 00:15:40,568 And now for our band, greene daeye! 398 00:15:40,633 --> 00:15:41,934 By the way, they're not the real green day. 399 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,034 Thought we should just rip that band-aid off quickly. 400 00:15:44,101 --> 00:15:45,867 Okay! 401 00:15:45,934 --> 00:15:48,468 [audience groans and boos] 402 00:15:48,534 --> 00:15:50,167 - [laughing] hey! what's up? 403 00:15:50,234 --> 00:15:51,334 Just got your text, man. 404 00:15:51,401 --> 00:15:53,201 Wanna hang out? 405 00:15:53,267 --> 00:15:55,201 'cause if you don't, i will fail you. 406 00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:58,633 - actually, i had an idea for an extra credit project. 407 00:15:58,700 --> 00:15:59,967 - [irish accent] we've been asked 408 00:16:00,034 --> 00:16:02,568 To dedicate our first song 409 00:16:02,633 --> 00:16:06,367 To senor and senora chang. 410 00:16:06,434 --> 00:16:07,534 - [gasps] 411 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,367 She said she didn't want to talk to me. 412 00:16:12,434 --> 00:16:14,934 - i didn't tell her you wanted to talk. 413 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,301 - estimation of market value 414 00:16:18,367 --> 00:16:20,800 Of--of--of brownies has-- 415 00:16:20,867 --> 00:16:23,733 Ahem! i, uh-- target group-- 416 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,301 - ms. bennett, i'm afraid i have to ask you 417 00:16:26,367 --> 00:16:27,600 To put down the cards. 418 00:16:30,301 --> 00:16:33,534 - * somewhere * 419 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,667 ♪ out there ♪ 420 00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:40,700 ♪ beneath the pale moonlight ♪ 421 00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,834 - uh... 422 00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:45,633 I--i-- - * someone's * 423 00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:48,867 ♪ thinking of me ♪ 424 00:16:48,934 --> 00:16:55,568 ♪ and loving me tonight ♪ 425 00:16:55,633 --> 00:16:58,633 [up-tempo irish jig] 426 00:17:01,733 --> 00:17:05,134 - * somewhere * 427 00:17:05,201 --> 00:17:07,900 ♪ out there ♪ 428 00:17:07,967 --> 00:17:13,401 ♪ someone's saying a prayer ♪ 429 00:17:13,468 --> 00:17:15,800 - they are...wonderful. 430 00:17:15,867 --> 00:17:18,468 We all love...brownies. 431 00:17:18,534 --> 00:17:20,934 - * one another * 432 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,934 - if you love brownies, you love life. 433 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,667 - * somewhere out there * 434 00:17:27,134 --> 00:17:29,501 ♪ and even though i know ♪ 435 00:17:29,568 --> 00:17:34,000 ♪ how very far apart we are ♪ 436 00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:36,967 ♪ it helps to think we might be wishing ♪ 437 00:17:37,034 --> 00:17:40,167 ♪ on the same bright star ♪ 438 00:17:40,234 --> 00:17:43,134 ♪ and when the night wind starts to sing ♪ 439 00:17:43,201 --> 00:17:46,334 ♪ a lonesome lullaby ♪ 440 00:17:46,401 --> 00:17:48,700 ♪ it helps to think we're sleeping ♪ 441 00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:51,201 ♪ underneath that same big sky ♪ 442 00:17:51,267 --> 00:17:52,633 - * aah * 443 00:17:55,201 --> 00:17:57,900 - * somewhere * 444 00:17:57,967 --> 00:18:00,201 ♪ out there ♪ 445 00:18:00,267 --> 00:18:06,201 ♪ if love can see us through ♪ 446 00:18:06,267 --> 00:18:08,534 - here's brownie! 447 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:13,034 - * then we'll be together * 448 00:18:13,101 --> 00:18:15,468 ♪ somewhere out there ♪ 449 00:18:15,534 --> 00:18:19,301 ♪ out where dreams ♪ 450 00:18:19,367 --> 00:18:24,201 ♪ come true ♪ 451 00:18:26,767 --> 00:18:28,401 - [high-pitched screaming] aah, it's on my leg! 452 00:18:28,468 --> 00:18:30,000 It's on my leg! it's on my leg! 453 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,468 Aaaaah! 454 00:18:35,501 --> 00:18:36,568 Disgusting! 455 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:39,967 - thank you. 456 00:18:40,034 --> 00:18:42,900 - what's chang doing? 457 00:18:42,967 --> 00:18:44,234 [cheers and applause] 458 00:18:44,301 --> 00:18:46,434 - uh... 459 00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:48,700 He's getting a refill on his void. 460 00:18:48,767 --> 00:18:51,000 - i got an "a" on my presentation, 461 00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:52,633 And a lot of the credit goes to pierce. 462 00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:54,934 - heh. and i had a great sandwich. 463 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,468 - we found the stupid rat. 464 00:18:56,534 --> 00:18:58,067 And abed's gonna shut up about it now. 465 00:18:58,134 --> 00:19:01,000 - it's true. 466 00:19:01,067 --> 00:19:01,800 - i have something to say. 467 00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:04,900 I've been a horrible husband. 468 00:19:04,967 --> 00:19:07,067 And i've been a horrible teacher. 469 00:19:07,134 --> 00:19:09,600 And i'd like to thank my student jeff winger 470 00:19:09,667 --> 00:19:11,000 For showing me that 471 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,900 And helping me fix my marriage. 472 00:19:12,967 --> 00:19:16,401 No more 20-page essays due on monday! 473 00:19:16,468 --> 00:19:18,201 - oh, that's nice! - thank you. 474 00:19:18,267 --> 00:19:20,600 - although, winger, 475 00:19:20,667 --> 00:19:22,900 You should write a one-page essay called 476 00:19:22,967 --> 00:19:26,468 taking advantage of the emotionally-vulnerable. 477 00:19:26,534 --> 00:19:27,401 [thud] booyah. 478 00:19:30,401 --> 00:19:33,201 - you did that for us? 479 00:19:33,267 --> 00:19:35,267 - mm, kinda. 480 00:19:35,334 --> 00:19:37,267 [irish jig playing] 481 00:19:37,334 --> 00:19:39,201 You know, i thought hanging out with you guys 482 00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:40,800 Was the worst way to pass spanish. 483 00:19:40,867 --> 00:19:41,800 I was wrong. 484 00:19:41,867 --> 00:19:43,434 - uh, we're the best. 485 00:19:43,501 --> 00:19:46,667 - jeff, i'm sorry i called you a handsome hobo. 486 00:19:46,733 --> 00:19:48,468 If you need help with that essay, 487 00:19:48,534 --> 00:19:50,301 You can rejoin the group. 488 00:19:50,367 --> 00:19:51,600 - thanks. 489 00:19:51,667 --> 00:19:53,600 What are you guys talking to me for? 490 00:19:53,667 --> 00:19:54,667 You go dance! 491 00:19:54,733 --> 00:19:56,067 - [squeals] 492 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,434 - i know your secret. 493 00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:04,434 I know about the chair. 494 00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:20,284 - whoa, what model did you get? 495 00:20:20,351 --> 00:20:22,184 - it's the tsunami 3000 anniversary edition. 496 00:20:22,251 --> 00:20:23,184 You? 497 00:20:23,251 --> 00:20:24,750 - the devil's drench xj-11. 498 00:20:24,817 --> 00:20:26,284 This is gonna be awesome. 499 00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:27,483 We should establish base camps. 500 00:20:27,550 --> 00:20:28,850 What part of the library do you want? 501 00:20:28,917 --> 00:20:30,217 - i'll take the northeast. 502 00:20:30,284 --> 00:20:31,784 Northeast is closest to the drinking fountain-- 503 00:20:31,850 --> 00:20:33,850 - all right, guys, are we gonna do this thing? 504 00:20:33,917 --> 00:20:35,784 - [laughing] pierce. 505 00:20:35,850 --> 00:20:37,284 I hope that's the tiny gun 506 00:20:37,351 --> 00:20:38,750 That you throw at us to confuse us 507 00:20:38,817 --> 00:20:40,051 While you grab the giant gun 508 00:20:40,117 --> 00:20:41,483 That's duct-taped to your back. 509 00:20:41,550 --> 00:20:42,717 - seriously, this hardly seems like a fair fight. 510 00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:45,284 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 511 00:20:45,351 --> 00:20:48,017 Oh, it's pepper water! oh, it's pep-- 512 00:20:48,084 --> 00:20:49,717 Who puts pepper in water?