Here's whatyou missed last week, Emma and Ken are getting married, though she really likes Will,
Ifwe were gonna rank crush-worthy teachers at this school,,,
you'd be num ber one with a bul let.
Which Ken's kind ofnoticed,,,
which makes him really not like Will,
The whole world knows I 'm just a consolation prixe to you.
How do you think that makes me feel?
- Also, Terri says she's pregnant, - Wow.
But reallyshe's faking, and Mr, Schuester doesn't know,
This baby's the only reason he's still here.
Will's busy getting the kids readyforsectionals,,,
where they're up against a school for the deaf,
- I can't hear you. Talk into this ear. Scarlet fever. - You're on!
- And a group ofjuvie girls, - Aphasia, give Mr. Schuester his wallet back.
But it turns out both ofthem are reallygood,
It's like cool epilepsy.
Sue kicked Quinn out ofthe Cheerios because she's pregnant,
I can't have a pregnant girl on my squad.
- You're a disgrace. - That's not very. nice, but neither is Sue,
Those drinks are crap!
- And that's whatyou missed on- - ? Glee ?
[School Bell Rings ]
- Hey, guys, Mind ifljoin you? - Hmm.
- So, what's with all the primping? - Yearbook pictures.
This is the 50th edition ofthe McKinley High School Thunderclap.
I'm gonna drop 20 pounds by Friday, look smokin' hot for that photo...
and be down to a trim 2 1 0 for the wedding a week Saturday.
Ofcourse the, um- the wedding was gonna be in Hawaii,,,
but then they told me I couldn't bring my own fruit.
- So- - But sectionals is a week from Saturday.
Oh, man.
Looks like you won't be able to make it, M&M.
I, um- I totally forgot about sectionals.
I'm-I'm sorry. I wanted to go... for the kids.
We are not rescheduling,
The V.F.W. hall is booked till next June.
The only reason this Saturday is available...
is 'cause it's the one-year anniversary ofthat grisly fish-fry shoot-out.
I got a monster discount. We just got to be out ofthere before the candlelight vigil.
I-I- I remember.
Oh, my gosh.
Everyyearwhen the photos for the Thunderclap come around...
I always elect to have a little work done.
Thisyear I got myselfa bit ofan eye lift,
And while they were in there, I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts.
Wasn't using 'em. You know, I got a storage unit full oftrophies and medallions.
But for the rest ofyou educators...
theseyearbook pictures are really the only concrete proofyou have...
that anything you've done in your sorry little lives has made any difference whatsoever.
- [ Slurping ] - My Cheerios are so excited.
Got 'em on ayam diet, Draws the water out ofthe skin,
Well, I'm sure my Glee kids are gonna be excited too.
- Well, Glee kids don't get a photo. - What?
- Why is that? - I just had a meeting with Principal Figgins, Eleanor.
And what with all the vandalism ofthe Glee Club photos overtheyears,,,
I convinced him that putting the Glee kids in this year's Thunderclap,,,
was subjecting the little freaks to more humiliation and ridicule.
Hey, why can'tyou just accept the fact...
that my kids are gonna take sectionals this year?
- That's not happening. - And stop with the pointless vendetta.
All right, this is so not fair, Sue,
You know, I'm gonna talk to Figgins about this.
Hey, good luckwith that.
You know, you three are boring me now. I'm gonna go do something else.
[ Groans ]
- Where's Rachel? - She's not hereyet.
Perfect. Glee Club stands on a delicate precipice.
We have all felt the cold humiliation ofa Slushee in the face.
But as of right now, our relative anonymity as a club...
shields us from more severe persecution-
swirlies, patriotic wedgies.
What's a patriotic wedgie?
It's when they hoistyou up the flagpole byyour undies.
Strangely, it did make me feel more American.
Basedon myinvestigation, I am ofthe opinion,,,
that a yearbook photo would only fuel the flames of anti-Glee Club terror.
I've done a little library research.
Peter Geller- Glee Club second tenor, 1 998.
He can be seen here with both a drawn-on Hitlermustache anda rice paddyhat,
Shortly after the yearbook came out, Mr. Geller had a nervous breakdown.
He's now the homeless man who sleeps in front of the public library.
- Patches? - Patches.
- He barks at my mom. - [Kurt] Exhibit "B, "
TawnyPeterson, Glee Club class of2000,
Seen here in herphoto with a cartoon knife stuck in her head,,,
in a macabre tableau that in fouryears would prove eerilyprescient,
I think I speak for all ofus when I say,,,
that not havi ng to pose for a yearbook photo m ight be a blessing in disguise.
I suggest not fighting Figgins's ruling.
Oh, hey, guys, Ah, looking at oldThunderclaps?
- It's really unsettling. - And totally unfair.
Hey, can I borrow one ofthese?
You know what? This year's Thunderclap is gonna have a Glee Club photo...
with every one ofyour smiling faces.
You have myword on it.
[Footsteps Departing]
Schue, I'm doing the Glee Club a solid.
We're denying the opportunity to other children to further humiliate them.
No, no, no. Those kids get up on stage all the time-
no matterwhat anyone thinks ofthem- and they perform.
They don't let anyone or anything get to them.
That's something you should encourage. Sue is wrong.
- Fine. I'll give them a photo. - Thankyou.
- For $1,000. - What?
That's what it costs.
Theyearbook is prime advertising space, Schue.
Frederickson's Funeral Parlor experienced a 1.3% increase in revenue...
after their full-page ad lastyear in the Thunderclap,
Okay, um-
What about a quarter page? How much does that cost?
[ Sighs ]
$325.
That will buyyou enough space fora photo oftwo members ofthe Glee Club,,,
right below the advertisement for Uncle Sandro's Chicken I nside of a Waffle.
- Figgins, that's a lot of money. - It's a compromise, Schue.
Now, I suggestyou select the good-looking cheerleader- not the pregnant one-
and the quarterback forthe photo,,,
as their faces are less likely to be scratched out with safety pins.
Mr, Schuester, I'm very.sorry. to interrupt,
Principal Figgins, as you very well may know, this is my first year in Glee Club...
and I've just been informed that New Directions has not been afforded a yearbook photo.
Asyou might expect, mytwo gay dads have a very. close relationship,,,
- with our local branch of the A.C.L.U.- - Beat you to the punch, Rachel.
It's all good. We're in the yearbook.
Oh. Fantastic. [ Laughs ]
Thankyouso much,
[ Thinking ] Make fun of me all you want, but school pictures are everything to me.
They're great practice for getting photographed by the paparaxxi.
Invasive as the press may be, stars are dependent on them for their fame...
and I feel I must be prepared.
In orderto do so, Ijoin every. club I possibly can,
I knowyou're thinking that I'mjustjoining all these clubs,,,
to give offthe appearance that I'm involved, known to exist,
But Glee Club is different, I really love Glee,
And I bel ieve i n what we stand for.
We've come from behind- dismissed and ridiculed by everyone.
And we've made something of ourselves- something that I'm proud to be a part of...
something I want to be remembered for.
[ Laughing ]
- [ Laughing Continues ] - [ Quinn Thinking ] I miss my Cheerios uniform.
It made me feel safe, contained.
Even when I was feeling left out...
at least I looked like I was a part ofsomething.
I want my kids to be able to look back at these books and see who I was-
make them proud,
Not the bastard one I'm carrying now, of course.
The ones I'll have when I'm married and ready.
I might not look like the head cheerleader anymore...
but I'm stillher on the inside,
Hmm. I'm done playing the victim.
When that cheerleading picture is taken for the yearbook...
I'm gonna be in it and back on the squad...
whether Sue Sylvester likes it or not.
Hey, baby, which one ofthese ties goes betterwith my shirt?
- You're blocking the TV, Will. - Oh, come on. I need your help.
- School pictures are coming up. - Oh. Well, in that case, um-
Wear the red one for the teacher photo and the green one for the Glee Club.
It'll pop more when the cool kids deface it.
Yeah. I, uh-
I wanted to talk toyou about that.
So Figgins stopped putting the Glee Club photo in theyearbook...
because it always gets vandalixed and-
I just feel so bad for the kids. I mean, theywork so hard. They deserve to be recognixed.
Not being in that book gives the appearance that Glee Club isn't important.
[ Sighs ]
I wanna buy an ad and use it as the Glee Club photo spread.
It's around $300.
Oh, great.
Why don'tyou take the food out ofthe refrigerator and just give that to the kids?
Will, that food goes from my mouth right into our baby's belly.
We have a couple hundred bucks left over from selling the Blue Bomber II.
- The answer's no, Will. No. - But ifwe-
No. No.
No.
[ Sighs ]
Actually, can you wait to cash that until Thursday?
- [ Sighs ] - [School Bell Rings ]
- ?? [Piano ] - Kurt, I have a fantastic idea for a club...
that would officially make me the most involved student in the whole school.
I want us to start a "Gay Lesb All."
- I'm sorry? - The Gay Lesbian Alliance.
"Gay Lesb All."
Hey, guys, great news.
Glee Club gets a photo in the Thunderclap,
- Uh-huh. - Whoo!
It's gonna show everyone at the school that Glee Club is on its way up.
When we win regionals, those Claps are going to be collector's items.
All ofyour classmates are going to be begging foryourautographs,
[ Muttered Affirmations ]
But I had to compromise to do it.
Um, we only get a quarter page in back...
which means we have to pick two team captains to appear in the photo.
So tomorrow we're gonna put it to a vote.
- Exciting, huh? All right. - Yeah!
[School Bell Rings ]
- Well, we're all here. I guess we should vote. - With your permission...
I have prepared a few words.
- I nominate Rachel. - Second.
All right, let's vote up in this piece,
I got to go hit the gym and load up the "Guns of Puckerone" for the football picture.
Looks like everybody voted for Rachel.
I ncluding Rachel.
- But we need two captains, guys. - Why two?
We're fine with having Rachel represent us in the Thunderclap by herself.
- We'd actually prefer it. - [School Bell Rings ]
The worst part is that after all this time, they're still embarrassed to be in Glee Club,
They sti I l see themselves as losers.
[ Sighs ] Ijust need to get one ofthem to step up and become cocaptain,
Well, maybe you should let them use the captain they already elected.
You know, sometimes things sound a lot different coming from a peer,,,
even if that peer is as annoying as Rachel.
[ Chuckles ]
None of this is gonna matter if they win at sectionals.
I'm really sorry I can't be there.
Yeah, I wanted to talk toyou about that.
I-I kind ofthink Ken scheduled yourwedding the same day on purpose...
you know, so- soyou couldn't go.
[ Laughs ] Whywould he do that?
Come on. We-We both know how he feels about our... relationship.
I'm marrying Ken, Will.
Look, I know that I've-
I've definitely given him reason in the past to be jealous.
But I need you to know that I'm done with that now.
Ken has a lot offlaws.
He has 7 4 flaws as ofyesterday.
Butyou know what? He's not vindictive. He's actually a very good man.
He is kind, and he is great with the students here at McKinley.
We have that in common. And yes, it's true his hygiene could be a lot better.
But he is absolutely full of compassion, and-
Well, that is why I'm marrying him.
You're right.
I was out ofline.
Itwon't happen again.
[School Bell Rings ]
- You wanted to see me, Mr. Schue? - Oh, yeah, Rach.
Sit down.
So, how's the new captaincy going?
I-I think that my unanimous election gave me a very strong mandate...
- to shake things up. - Great. Well...
I have a job foryou, Captain.
We need a cocaptain.
Butyou have so many great ideas...
no reason you shouldn't have some help pushing them through.
I could use a trusty lieutenant.
I do have over 65 proposals.
So... can I count on you?
No problem. I'm on it.
Um, I can't be cocaptain. No time. Kwanxaa.
Kwanxaa's late December, Mercedes. The photo's this Thursday.
Yeah. I'm prepping early this year.
♪ Well,you might think I'm crazy♪
I'd love to be in the photo, Rachel.
But you'd be standing and I'd be sitting. It would throw offthe whole composition.
I'll lean over.
But ifyou lean over...
it'll look likeyou have stomach rolls.
♪ But I think thatyou're wild♪♪
On second thought, I don't think thatyou're leadership material, Artie.
Follower.
Brittany, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
- No way. - Why not?
I don't wanna be in a picture with you. It'll get defaced.
- No, it won't. - Yes, it will. I'll be the one doing it.
I'm desperate, Glee Club needsyou, Finn,
I'm totally honored you asked me...
but don't you think you should pick somebodywho cares more?
Not that I don't. But I just have football and friends and stuff.
Glee Club only started working afteryou joined.
Face it, we wouldn't have all ofthe cheerleaders and football players in the club...
ifit wasn't foryou.
You know I love Glee Club. I just don't know why I have to represent it.
Becauseyou're a leader, Finn.
And that's what leaders do. They stick their necks out for people that they care about.
There are stakes here. Morale is low. You know it.
Ifthings don't change, we're not even gonna place at sectionals...
and then the club is over.
- I can't do this alone. - You don't have to.
I am a leader.
It's who I am, who I wanna be.
You gotyourself a cocaptain. I'll do the picture with you.
I totally understand that as captain ofthe football team...
you've worked really hard to project an appearance of steely toughness.
But Glee Club is different.
We have to present the appearance of positivity and optimism.
So... we're gonna practice...
and I'm gonna teach you how to smile correctly foryour photo.
?? [Slow Groove ]
♪When you first left me I was wanting more ♪
♪You were kissing that girl next door ♪
- ?Whatyou do that for ? - ?Whatyou do that for ?
- ?When you first left me ? - [ Together] ? I didn't know what to say ?
- ? I've never been on my own that way ? - ? Own that way?
- ?Just sat by myself all day ? - ? Myself all day ?
- ? I was so lost back then ? - ?? [ Vocalixing ]
♪ But with a little help from my friends ♪
♪ I found the light in the tunnel at the end ♪
♪ And nowyou're calling me up on the phone ♪
♪Soyou can have a littlewhine and a moan ♪
♪ And it's only becauseyou're feeling alone ♪
- ? At firstwhen I seeyou cry ? - ?When I seeyou cry ?
♪ It makes me smile ♪
♪Yeah, it makes me smile ♪
♪ Atworst I feel bad for a while ♪
♪ But then Ijustsmile♪
♪ I go ahead and smile ♪
♪ La-la-la, la-la-la La-la-la, la-la-la ♪
♪ La-la-la, la-la-la La-la-la ♪
♪ La-la-la, la-la-la ♪
♪ At first when I see you cry ♪
♪ Seeyou cry ♪
- ? It makes me smile ? - ? Makes me smile ?
- ?Yeah, it makes me smile ? - ?Yeah, it makes me smile ?
- ? At worst I feel bad for a while ? - ? Feelbadfora while?
- ? But then Ijustsmile? - ?Smile ?
- ? I go ahead and smile ? - ? Go ahead and smile ??
[ Giggling ]
[ Grunts ] What the hell?
Hey, man. Shh. We're practicing, dude. Chill out.
We heard you were gonna be in the Glee Club photo...
- and we don'twanna mess up messing it up. - Screwyou, Karofsky!
I'm sick ofyou pulling people down!
Hey, man, don't talk that kumbayeyah crap.
All right, you know this system's put in place to keep order around here.
Hey, you know what? Look, I'm gonna give you some options, okay?
You want me to put the Hitler mustache on your Glee Club picture...
or doyou want the buck teeth on your Glee Club picture?
Which oneyou want? Man, it don't matter to me eitherway. I'll put both of-
Hey, how doyou spell "loser"? I'm gonna write it on his forehead.
His big ol' potato head.
You can write a whole haiku on that thing. [ Chuckling ]
[School Bell Rings ]
Can we shake a leg here?
Fine.
I'm ready. I'll- [ Exhales ] do it myself.
[ Sniffles ] Wait. I-
I insist on only being shot from my left side.
Yeah, I kind of need to seeyour teeth. It's sort of myjob here.
I'm sorry. I'm just-
I'm upset. My cocaptain bailed, and it just-
I just need a minute.
[ Thinking ] Snap out ofthis.
Stop being defined bywhat other people think ofyou...
or how they disappointyou.
It's lonely at the top. You know that.
What's that song about overcoming professional and personal disappointments?
Oh, yeah.
♪When you're smiling ♪
♪Thewholeworld smiles with you ♪♪
I'm ready.
Great.
Wait, wait, wait. That-That's it?
I practiced over 1 8 different poses for this shoot...
and I haven't even shown you any of my over-the-left-shoulder poses, see?
Sorry, kid. I got to blow. I got a casting session in half an hour.
A- A casting session forwhat?
My brother-in-law is shooting a commercial for his store.
I'm directing it. I just do these school photos for the money.
- [ Crying ] - Uh, wa-wa- Okay,
Wait. No. Don't. I can take a couple more pictures foryou.
I can cry on demand. It's one of my many talents. I'm veryversatile.
And aside from nudity and the exploitation ofanimals...
I'll pretty much do anything to break into the business.
W-Well, you certainly seem talented and all...
but I-I need-
There's other speaking parts in this thing.
I need, like, a bunch of other actors too.
I can help with that.
I'd like to call this meeting to order.
Hello, Finn. How nice ofyou to show.
Look, I'm sorry., The guys were harassing me in the lockerroom about it,
If I took the Glee Club photo, they'd make me choose between a Hitler mustache or buck teeth.
And I can't rock either of those looks.
[ Sighs ]
Do you think I have a potato head?
Look, I realize now that all ofyou think that Glee Club isjust ajoke,
Okay? Andyou're convinced that we can't win,,,
and you're content to just sit idle by until Figgins cancels the club.
Well, I'm about to present toyou a rare opportunity-
the opportunity to become... stars.
How?
We've all been cast in a local commercial.
- [ All Gasp ] - Are you serious?
Yes, Finn. And while all ofyou have been so concerned with your appearance in this school...
I've landed Glee Club its first big break.
Simplyput, making us all celebrities,
Okay, and no one messes with celebrities or defaces theirpictures,
- What's the com mercial? - Hold on to your hats and get ready to sell...
some mattresses.
- [ All Gasp ] - Awesome.
I'm gonna get a nice pair ofblack suspenders.
- [ All Chattering ] - My mom's gonna be really proud.
Let's do our camera face.
I can't believe we're finally breaking into the bix.
You guys, I want us to always remember this moment.
Soon there may be agents and managers and movie deals.
But right now I want us to rememberwhat it feels like to be here together as a team.
Whatever. As soon as I get my record deal, I'm not speaking to any ofyou.
Okay, guys, we're very excited to have you here.
We here at Mattress Land believe...
that mattresses aren't just for sleeping and fornicating anymore.
We believe that buying an affordable mattress should be fun.
All right, let's go over the script.
I think it's pretty brilliant. I wrote it myself. Action.
[ Clears Throat ] Ah, me.
- What's wrong? - We just lost ourjobs... at the factory.
And we can't get a goodnight's sleep,
Chipperup! Come on down to Mattress Land!
We've got near wholesale prices to fit your style and pocketbook.
I 'm-I'm sorry. Mr. Casperberg...
this script is brilliant.
But we're a glee club, and we should perform.
Perform the lines as I wrote them.
Wait a minute, Dennis, What didyou have in mind?
♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba-ba ba-da, ba, ba-da, da ♪
- Ahhhh! - ? Ba, ba, ba, ba-ba, ba-da, ba, ba-da, da ?
- ? I get up ? - ? Ba, ba, ba, ba ?
♪ And nothing gets me down ♪
♪ You got it tough ♪
♪ I've seen the toughest around♪
♪ And I know ♪
♪ Baby, just how you feel ♪
♪ You've got to roll with the punches ♪
♪ To get to what's real ♪
♪ Oh, can't you see me standing here ♪
♪ I got myback against the record machine ♪
♪ I ain't the worst that you seen ♪
♪ Ain't the worst that you seen ♪
♪ Oh, can'tyou see what I mean♪
♪ Can't you see what I mean ♪
- ? Yeah, yeah, yeah ? - ? Might as well jump ?
- ?Jump ? - Ba, ba, ba, ba-da, da ?
- ? Might as well jump ? - ? Ba, ba, ba, ba-da, da ?
- ? Go ahead and jump ? - ?Jump ?
- ? Ba, ba, ba, ba-da, da ? - ? Go ahead and jump ?
- ? Ba, ba-da, da,jump ? - ?Yeah ?
- ? Ba ? - ? Ba ?
- ? Ba, ba ?
- ? Ba-da ? - ?Jump ?
- ?Yeah ? - ? Might as well jump ?
- ? Ba, ba, ba-da ? - ? Might as well jump ?
♪ Ba-da, ba, ba-da, da ♪
- ? Go ahead and jump ? - ? Hey, hey, yeah ?
♪ Go ahead and jump ♪
♪ Ba, ba-da, da ♪
♪Jump,jump,jump,jump ♪
- ?Yeah ? - ? Ba, ba, ba-da, da ?
♪Jump ♪♪
Come on down to Mattress Land!
[ All ] Come on down to Mattress Land!
Terri, haveyou seen my pocket square?
Terri?
[ Sighs ]
- Terri. - A pocket square's gonna makeyou look like Ted Knight.
What is this?
It's a pregnancy pad.
They have them at the maternity stores for trying on clothes...
soyou can see howyou're gonna look when you're showing.
Kendra stole it for me so I can see if any ofher old clothes would fit-
Pick upyour shirt.
What? No.
- Pick upyour shirt. - You're scaring me, Will.
Now, think about whatyou're accusing me of.
Think about it and turn around and go find your pocket square. [ Gasps ]
Please.
[ Whimpering ]
- [ Gasps ] - Why did you do this to us? I don't understand.
I thoughtyou were leaving me,
You're so different, Will. We both know it. I can feel you. You're pulling away from me.
Because I've started standing up to you, trying to make this a relationship of equals?
No, because ofthe damn Glee Club.
Eversinceyoustartedit, youjust walk aroundlikeyou're betterthan me,
I should be allowed to feel good about myself.
Who are we kidding, Will? This marriage works because you don't feel good about yourself.
This marriage works because I loveyou...
- because I've always accepted you. - No,
- Good and bad. - You love the girl you met when you were 1 5.
- I'm not that girl. - You've made yourself a stranger to me now.
- No. - Are you happy? Are you satisfied?
It didn't start as a lie.
I really thought I was pregnant.
And then the doctor, he said it was a hysterical pregnancy...
and I just panicked.
[ Sobs ]
This is insane.
I mean, wh-what wereyou gonna do when the due date came?
Quinn Fabray.
It was so perfect,
She didn't want hers, and I needed one,
I had the doctor use her ultrasound DVD...
at your appointment that you came to.
[ Exhales ]
I loved you, Terri.
- I really loved you. - I'm so sorry, Will.
I'm so sorry.
Doyou remember that appointment? Doyou rememberwhat we said?
That at that moment, no matter what happened, we loved each other.
We can get that feeling back again. You can love me back, Will.
Please, Will. Please don't go.
Please don't go! Please!
Oh, God.
[ Sighs ]
- [Whistle Blows ] - [Sue ]Am I asking fortoo much,,,
Ohio Board ofStatewide Holiday Planning?
All I want is just one day a year...
where I'm not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties.
Seriously, Ohio, these retinas need a day off.
So here's the dream. Friday after Christmas, which I have off...
ifyou're hideous, stay at home.
Spend the entire daywatching home videos...
of a time when you weren't too repulsive for me to everwanna look at.
- At that's how Sue sees it. - [Whistle Blows ]
- Rod. - Slammin', Sue.
We'll be right back.
Hey, Andrea, that "Sue's Corner"Ijust did-
I was talking about you.
♪ Go aheadandjump ♪
[ Rachel ] Who says finding a mattress can't be fun?
At Mattress Land, we have mattresses of all shapes and sixes...
at prices that won't breakyour pocketbook.
No credit? No problem.
Mattress Land has a no-hassle financing of 1 2.9%...
with no money down and no payments till nextyear.
You'll jump forjoy at our prices.
Come on down to Mattress Land!
- [School Bell Rings ] - Coach Sylvester, we need to talk.
Oh, I got nothing to say to you, preggo.
The Cheerios photo's tomorrow, and I want back on that squad.
Oh, is that what you want? Well, what I wanted was a head cheerleader...
who wasn't going to hoist her legs behind her ears...
in the back seat ofthe first station wagon she could jimmy open...
throwing away any chance she ever had in life.
It would be good for the school-
show everyone that appearances don't matter.
Sometimes people have to deal with a little adversity.
I learned that in Glee Club.
Well, that little educational proverb...
must have slithered from Will Schuester's mouth...
right after his lesson on how to disqualifyyourselves from sectionals.
- What? - Sawyour little commercial last night.
Boy, did you Glee kids step in it.
Schue, I'm afraid Sue is right.
You have indeed stepped in it.
- I didn't even know this was going on. - Of courseyou didn't, William.
You wouldn't know ifyour Glee Club was using your office...
to breed rabbits for pets or for food.
You know why? You're too busy chasing tail...
and loading your hair with enormous amounts of product.
Today it just looks likeyou put lard in it.
What areyou even talking about?
Look- Look, the kids did the commercial to foster a feeling of unity...
afteryou- not anyone else- you got them banned from the yearbook.
- That's what I did, yes. - It was an innocent mistake.
And what if I were to just innocently murderyou, Will?
I'dstillhave to go to trial,
Probably get offwith justifiable homicide.
Let me review the rules foryou.
- This is craxy. - Amendment 63, seventh addendum.
"No professional activity ofany kind will be tolerated...
"and payment for services rendered negates amateur status...
- triggering immediate disqualification." - Hey. Hey.
- Hey, hey, hey. Keep it civil. Keep it simple. - Heywhat, mister?
Keep it simple. Hey, I am sorry, Schue, but I cannot let this slide.
But the kids weren't even paid.
There's a stack of mattresses in the choir room...
piled as high as the empty hair gel bottles...
- in the Dumpster outsideyour apartment. - We'll give the mattresses back.
Schue, one ofthose mattresses was used,
You can't return a used mattress.
You can't even donate one to charity,
Lice. Bedbugs. I looked it up online.
Is there any reason that you have a soiled mattress in your office, Will?
Have you and the redhead become so sexually depraved...
thatyou have to commityour craven acts of adultery in between classes?
- Wha- - I slept-You know, okay, fine.
I slept here, all right?
Excuse me?
[ Sighs ]
I'm thinking about leaving mywife.
Oh, I didn't see that one coming at all.
William, I am very sorry about your personal troubles, but my hands are tied.
Sue's right. You broke the rules.
I cannot fight the scholastic board,
I'm sorry, but Glee Club is over.
It's over.
[Sue Thinking] DearJournal,,,
I've finally gotten Will Schuester and that Glee Club out of my hair.
This is a day that will live in infamy.
Once again, I've won,
Miss Sylvester.
It's like looking at a porno star in a nun's habit.
I wanted to showyou that it still fits.
My baby bump isn't that bad. It's just like I had a big lunch.
Take it off. You need to get it through your pregnant head...
there's no wayyou're getting in that photo or back on the Cheerios- end of story.
- You're a hypocrite. - Excuse me?
I just heard that you got Glee Club's amateur status revoked over a mattress...
while you are constantly showering the Cheerios with swag.
I've gotten free shoes, complimentary tanning, haircuts.
The season tickets to Cedar Point? We sold those on eBay.
For a profit.
It seems to me that if Figgins found out...
you would get banned from competition.
Fine. You're back on the Cheerios.
I'll putyou on full-time dry-cleaning duty...
and shoveyou to the back ofthe photo to hideyour shame.
I'm not finished. Glee Club gets a full-page photo.
- It's not up to me. - You are giving up...
one ofthe Cheerios' six pages...
and you are giving it to the Glee Club free of charge.
You know, Q, I'd forgotten...
just how ruthless you really are.
You're like a young Sue Sylvester.
Now get out of my office...
ifyou can manage to squeexe through the door withoutyourwater breaking...
all over my new carpet.
You know what?
I don't think I wanna be a Cheerio after all.
I don't wanna be on a team where I only appear to belong.
I'd rather be a part of a club that's proud to have me...
Iike Glee Club.
[ Sighs ] It's my fault.
Ifl hadn't slept on that mattress...
we could have just returned them and moved on.
- Hey, can I giveyou some advice? - Please.
You need to giveyourselfa break.
- [ Chuckles ] - You do. You'll-
You'll figure out what to do with the kids. You always do.
But I think right now you really need to focus on your own life.
You know, divorce is a really big deal.
Who said anything about getting a divorce?
Oh, God, I'm so sorry. I just assumed that that's-
Is that whatyou would do?
Well, um- [ Laughs ]
When I first heard about what Terri had done...
I thought there should be some sort oflaw.
But then when I thought about itsome more,,,
I thought about what I would have done...
if I'd felt you slipping away.
You would never be that cruel.
You know, her methods were wrong.
But, um...
I totally understand her intentions.
[ Sighs ]
You're a lot to lose, Will.
But we don't wanna go to sectionals withoutyou.
[ Sighs ] It's without me or not at all.
Look, I was the one who slept on the mattress...
which means I accepted them, notyou.
Which means I'm disqualified from competition.
- Notyou guys. - He's taking the bullet for us.
Solid,
[ Sighs ] We have worked too hard foryou guys not to getyour shot.
We can't do this withoutyou, Mr. Schue.
- Hell, we probably can't do it with you. - That's not true.
You guys are good.
[ Chuckles ] You're really good.
Y-Y-You did "Jump" for that commercial without me, right?
[ Sighs ] Look...
the best teachers don't giveyou the answers.
Theyjust point the way and letyou makeyour own choices...
your own mistakes.
That way, you get all the glory.
And you deserve it.
[ Chuckles ] But if-
ifyou can't win without me there...
then I haven't done myjob.
We're really sorry, Mr. Schue.
I know.
I wantyou guys to go get gussied up...
and take that Glee Club photo with pride.
I wanna see a smile on every one ofyour faces.
?? [Ballad]
♪ Smile♪
♪ Thoughyourheart is aching♪
♪ Smile even though it's breaking♪
♪ When there are clouds ♪
♪ In the sky ♪
♪ You'll get by ♪
♪ Ifyou smile through yourpain and sorrow ♪
♪ Smile and maybe tomorrow ♪
♪ You'll see the sun come shining through ♪
♪ Foryou ♪
♪ Light up your face with gladness ♪
♪ Hide every. trace ofsadness ♪
♪ Although a tear ♪
♪ May be ever so near ♪
♪ That's the time ♪
♪ You must keep on try.ing♪
♪ Smile What's the use ofcry.ing♪
♪ You'll find that life is still worthwhile ♪
♪ Ifyoujust smile ♪
♪ Smile though your heart is aching♪
♪ Smile even though it's breaking♪
♪ When there are clouds in the sky ♪
♪ You'll get by ♪
♪ That's the time ♪
- ? You must keep on try.ing? - ? On try.ing?
♪ Smile What's the use ofcry.ing♪
♪ You'll find that life is still worthwhile ♪
♪ Ifyoujust smile ♪
♪ You'll find that life is still worthwhile ♪
♪ Ifyoujust ♪
♪ Smile ♪
♪ Smile ♪♪
?? [ Vocalizing ]
?? [ Harmonic Vocalizing ]
?? [ Ends ]
Engl ish - US - SDH