1
00:00:01,458 --> 00:00:02,926
Happy last day before
winter break, Greendale!

2
00:00:02,994 --> 00:00:04,661
Time to visit our loved ones.

3
00:00:04,729 --> 00:00:07,199
Some of you will travel
as far as three Miles!

4
00:00:07,266 --> 00:00:10,134
Don't forget to visit our
winter wonderland in the quad,

5
00:00:10,203 --> 00:00:11,971
where we're giving away catalogues

6
00:00:12,038 --> 00:00:13,407
of next semester's classes.

7
00:00:16,644 --> 00:00:19,146
Whoa, what's that sound?

8
00:00:19,214 --> 00:00:22,816
Is that the tippy-tapping
of secular boots on the roof?

9
00:00:24,085 --> 00:00:26,720
Oh, well, it must be yet another sign

10
00:00:26,787 --> 00:00:29,322
that it tis the season,

11
00:00:29,390 --> 00:00:34,727
because rumor has it that
non-denominational Mr. Winter

12
00:00:34,795 --> 00:00:37,230
is on his way to the student lounge!

13
00:00:37,297 --> 00:00:38,597
Unh!

14
00:00:38,665 --> 00:00:40,765
I'm so sick of the Dean jamming his PC

15
00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:41,900
down my throat.

16
00:00:41,968 --> 00:00:43,501
Pierce, I'd like to commend you

17
00:00:43,568 --> 00:00:45,269
for letting that one go.

18
00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:47,003
"PC-ness."

19
00:00:47,071 --> 00:00:48,204
Now I get it.

20
00:00:48,272 --> 00:00:50,472
It sounds like "penis".
I just got it too.

21
00:00:50,540 --> 00:00:52,474
Well, it's still Christmas to all of us,

22
00:00:52,541 --> 00:00:54,509
and I made you all a little gift,

23
00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:56,410
because you're like my new family.

24
00:00:56,478 --> 00:00:58,246
"W-W-B-J-D"?

25
00:00:58,314 --> 00:01:00,048
If this stands for
"What would Billy Joel do",

26
00:01:00,115 --> 00:01:02,950
I'll tell you right now...
he'd write another crappy song.

27
00:01:03,018 --> 00:01:05,220
Yeah, in your face, Billy Joel.

28
00:01:05,288 --> 00:01:06,421
Who is that?

29
00:01:06,489 --> 00:01:07,856
It stands for
"What would baby Jesus do?"

30
00:01:07,924 --> 00:01:09,825
And it's to remind us
that the real meaning

31
00:01:09,893 --> 00:01:11,994
of this season is Christmas.

32
00:01:12,062 --> 00:01:14,231
Oh, well, thank you, Shirley.

33
00:01:14,298 --> 00:01:17,634
I'm gonna put that in the
pocket closest to my heart.

34
00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:20,204
No, no, no, it's a bracelet.
You put 'em on.

35
00:01:20,271 --> 00:01:22,539
Everybody put 'em on.

36
00:01:30,449 --> 00:01:33,818
Hey. Hey!

37
00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:36,621
You took all the winter-doodles.

38
00:01:36,689 --> 00:01:37,689
What are you, a douche bag?

39
00:01:37,757 --> 00:01:39,058
They're for my friends.

40
00:01:39,125 --> 00:01:40,392
There's a lot of other cookies left.

41
00:01:40,460 --> 00:01:42,260
No, there's only macadamia
nut cookies there, okay?

42
00:01:42,328 --> 00:01:43,395
I have a tree-nut allergy.

43
00:01:43,463 --> 00:01:44,430
You should probably stay away

44
00:01:44,497 --> 00:01:45,798
from Christmas-tree-shaped cookies.

45
00:01:45,866 --> 00:01:47,566
Ha ha! That did not even
make allergic sense.

46
00:01:47,634 --> 00:01:49,602
What are you, an idiot?

47
00:01:49,670 --> 00:01:52,805
Okay, we get it.
You and the A-team are awesome.

48
00:01:52,872 --> 00:01:54,206
Now beat it.

49
00:01:54,274 --> 00:01:55,373
Oh, look at that.

50
00:01:55,441 --> 00:01:57,843
Pretty boy standing up
for bird face over here.

51
00:01:57,911 --> 00:01:59,044
Give me a winter-doodle.

52
00:01:59,112 --> 00:02:01,046
If you're trying to be menacing,

53
00:02:01,114 --> 00:02:02,747
maybe don't call the cookie by its name.

54
00:02:02,815 --> 00:02:06,217
Oh, you're funny. You're a funny man.

55
00:02:06,284 --> 00:02:07,718
Want to hear something funny, funny man?

56
00:02:07,786 --> 00:02:08,919
Knock, knock.

57
00:02:08,987 --> 00:02:10,854
My fist up your balls!

58
00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:12,856
Who's there?

59
00:02:12,923 --> 00:02:18,228
Ha ha ha! Merry happy!

60
00:02:18,295 --> 00:02:20,096
This ain't over.

61
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,701
There won't always be a Dean around.

62
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:26,236
All right?

63
00:02:26,304 --> 00:02:28,005
Still waiting on those cookies, Abed.

64
00:02:28,006 --> 00:02:51,160
Sync by YesCool - Corrected by 4be1
www.addic7ed.com

65
00:02:55,197 --> 00:02:57,098
Jeff protected my honor.

66
00:02:57,166 --> 00:02:58,800
It was like my bodyguard,
but I was the kid from meatballs,

67
00:02:58,868 --> 00:02:59,901
Jeff was the guy from full metal jacket,

68
00:02:59,969 --> 00:03:00,902
and the moustache guy was the brother

69
00:03:00,970 --> 00:03:02,303
of the guy on entourage.

70
00:03:02,371 --> 00:03:04,039
Thanks for dumbing that down for us.

71
00:03:04,106 --> 00:03:05,473
- You got it.
- So what's the deal, Jeff?

72
00:03:05,541 --> 00:03:08,477
You leave your stones
in your other suit?

73
00:03:08,544 --> 00:03:10,045
Why didn't you rap that guy in the face?

74
00:03:10,113 --> 00:03:11,480
For the same reason that I floss,

75
00:03:11,548 --> 00:03:13,181
have a bed frame, and keep
my guitar in its case...

76
00:03:13,249 --> 00:03:14,583
I'm over 23.

77
00:03:14,651 --> 00:03:16,852
I'm proud of you for
handling it peacefully, Jeff,

78
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:20,356
like a certain little birthday boy.

79
00:03:20,423 --> 00:03:23,727
Real men turn the other cheek.

80
00:03:23,794 --> 00:03:25,595
Let's see 'em. Nonsense.

81
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:26,897
Men were wired to fight each other

82
00:03:26,964 --> 00:03:28,966
so that women could
choose the right mate.

83
00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:30,835
No, the real reason men fight

84
00:03:30,902 --> 00:03:32,771
is to release their pent-up gayness.

85
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,673
That guy wasn't gay.
He had a moustache.

86
00:03:34,740 --> 00:03:36,508
You know what I have? Finals.

87
00:03:36,575 --> 00:03:38,242
Are we cramming for Spanish or not?

88
00:03:38,310 --> 00:03:40,612
I need a 65,
or I'm gonna flunk the class.

89
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:43,814
Why didn't you do the
extra-credit assignments

90
00:03:43,882 --> 00:03:44,982
if you knew that you were...

91
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:46,150
failing?

92
00:03:46,218 --> 00:03:47,585
Because doing more than the minimum work

93
00:03:47,653 --> 00:03:49,620
is my definition of...

94
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,189
failing.

95
00:03:51,256 --> 00:03:52,757
Quick question... Are you all coming

96
00:03:52,825 --> 00:03:54,559
to my Christmas party
right after the final,

97
00:03:54,626 --> 00:03:55,960
or are you stopping home to change

98
00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:57,528
into your Christmas outfits?

99
00:04:00,599 --> 00:04:03,768
I guess I could wear one
of my Hanukah sweaters.

100
00:04:03,835 --> 00:04:06,003
Uh, Annie...

101
00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:08,705
I... I didn't know you weren't,
um, Christian.

102
00:04:08,773 --> 00:04:09,939
Yep.

103
00:04:10,007 --> 00:04:12,541
One might even say I'm Jewish.

104
00:04:12,609 --> 00:04:15,144
Oh, t... that's good for you.
T... that's wonderful.

105
00:04:15,211 --> 00:04:17,046
I respect all religions of the world.

106
00:04:17,114 --> 00:04:18,881
- I'm Muslim.
- Jehovah's witness.

107
00:04:18,948 --> 00:04:21,150
- Atheist.
- The Lord is testing me.

108
00:04:21,218 --> 00:04:23,319
Guys, this is a subject
that breeds conflicts.

109
00:04:23,387 --> 00:04:25,622
- Can we please do...
- What religion are you, Jeff?

110
00:04:25,689 --> 00:04:28,624
I'm agnostic.

111
00:04:28,692 --> 00:04:32,162
Agnostic... lazy man's atheist.

112
00:04:32,229 --> 00:04:33,830
- I'm born-again.
- Oh.

113
00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,131
Yeah, we had a re-birthing ritual

114
00:04:35,199 --> 00:04:36,666
in my friend's hot tub.

115
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:40,636
I'm now a level-five laser
lotus in my Buddhist community.

116
00:04:40,704 --> 00:04:42,538
Uh, that does not sound like Buddhism.

117
00:04:42,606 --> 00:04:43,840
Are you sure you're not in a cult?

118
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:46,209
Just by asking me that question,

119
00:04:46,276 --> 00:04:48,344
you've put me back down to a level four.

120
00:04:48,412 --> 00:04:50,980
You now owe me 2,000 Energon cubes.

121
00:04:51,048 --> 00:04:53,249
Do you know how foolish
you sound right now?

122
00:04:53,317 --> 00:04:56,519
What else do you believe in,
blood transfusions?

123
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:59,155
Jehovah's witnesses are a
type of Christian, right, Troy?

124
00:04:59,224 --> 00:05:01,758
Yeah, but we don't celebrate
birthdays or Christmas,

125
00:05:01,826 --> 00:05:03,060
and we can't drink.

126
00:05:03,127 --> 00:05:04,428
But it helps.

127
00:05:04,495 --> 00:05:05,763
So you're like a Muslim.
Salaam alaikum.

128
00:05:05,830 --> 00:05:07,664
Shama-lama-ding-dong.

129
00:05:07,732 --> 00:05:10,100
Wow, don't we have a
diverse little family.

130
00:05:10,168 --> 00:05:12,836
I say we open up this...
this party to all faiths.

131
00:05:12,904 --> 00:05:14,337
I brought my star of Bethlehem,

132
00:05:14,405 --> 00:05:17,708
which led the wise men to
the savior of all mankind.

133
00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:20,243
And you guys can bring a
little trinket or doodad

134
00:05:20,311 --> 00:05:21,912
from your philosophies.

135
00:05:21,979 --> 00:05:23,046
Sounds good?

136
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:24,247
As an agnostic,

137
00:05:24,315 --> 00:05:26,215
I'm gonna bring my winning smile.

138
00:05:26,283 --> 00:05:27,650
That's not enough.

139
00:05:37,762 --> 00:05:41,432
Ugh! So boring.

140
00:05:41,499 --> 00:05:44,468
Done. Hee hee.

141
00:05:44,535 --> 00:05:46,236
Hee hee.

142
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:49,840
Hmm. Feliz Navidad.

143
00:05:49,908 --> 00:05:53,778
"True or falso or none of the above?"

144
00:05:53,846 --> 00:05:55,646
That doesn't make any sense.

145
00:05:59,851 --> 00:06:01,318
Hey, look at that.

146
00:06:01,386 --> 00:06:02,686
Forehead's taking a test.

147
00:06:02,754 --> 00:06:04,388
Why don't you get going, Chuck Norris?

148
00:06:04,456 --> 00:06:07,124
Did you just shoo me?

149
00:06:07,192 --> 00:06:08,759
Why don't you just kiss him already?

150
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:11,262
Dude, I will shoo your
nose down your throat!

151
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,230
Senor Chang,
can you do something about this?

152
00:06:13,298 --> 00:06:16,433
I'll allow it.

153
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,936
Que pasa here, huh?

154
00:06:20,571 --> 00:06:23,006
It's usted, dude. Even I know that.

155
00:06:26,043 --> 00:06:28,745
You picked the wrong day to
correct my Spanish, no sleeves.

156
00:06:28,813 --> 00:06:30,146
It's on!

157
00:06:30,214 --> 00:06:32,114
He's doing this for me.
He's my bodyguard.

158
00:06:32,182 --> 00:06:34,083
- You wanna dance?
- Maybe to some show tunes?

159
00:06:34,151 --> 00:06:35,518
No, I want to beat the crap out of you.

160
00:06:35,585 --> 00:06:37,119
And I'm gonna enjoy it,

161
00:06:37,187 --> 00:06:38,454
because you're just like this school.

162
00:06:38,522 --> 00:06:39,789
You're obnoxious,
you're cramping my style,

163
00:06:39,856 --> 00:06:41,290
and you smell like French-fry oil.

164
00:06:41,358 --> 00:06:42,992
I don't get it!

165
00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:46,296
But not the one by the parking lot!

166
00:06:46,363 --> 00:06:48,665
Right! The one by the trash
cans near the orange cones

167
00:06:48,733 --> 00:06:49,666
where they're building
the wheelchair ramp!

168
00:06:49,733 --> 00:06:51,000
Yeah.

169
00:06:51,068 --> 00:06:53,737
Best exam ever.

170
00:06:53,804 --> 00:06:56,005
That guy's awesome, man.

171
00:07:00,076 --> 00:07:01,477
So help me if that
jerk-weed made me fail.

172
00:07:01,544 --> 00:07:04,113
Well, I aced it, amigo.
That means "cousin".

173
00:07:04,181 --> 00:07:05,748
So what's my role going
to be in the fight?

174
00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:07,484
Is there a key moment where
I finally stand up for myself

175
00:07:07,551 --> 00:07:08,585
and take revenge on the villain?

176
00:07:08,653 --> 00:07:10,888
Uh, maybe you should just hang back.

177
00:07:10,956 --> 00:07:12,990
Yeah I will. In his face!

178
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,024
Whatever you do,

179
00:07:14,092 --> 00:07:15,559
don't tell Shirley about the fight.

180
00:07:15,627 --> 00:07:19,063
She'll start in with all her mother-y,
guilt-inducing powers.

181
00:07:19,131 --> 00:07:20,564
- You know what I mean?
- No.

182
00:07:20,632 --> 00:07:23,067
I'm wearing this Jesus bracelet
'cause it gets me chicks.

183
00:07:23,135 --> 00:07:24,635
I know guys like this Mike.

184
00:07:24,703 --> 00:07:26,638
He used to be a nerd.
Now he's a meathead.

185
00:07:26,705 --> 00:07:28,006
Dangerous combo.

186
00:07:28,074 --> 00:07:31,343
Tyson, Lou Ferrigno, Rosie O'Donnell.

187
00:07:31,411 --> 00:07:33,813
You're a pretty big dude.
Probably got some moves.

188
00:07:33,881 --> 00:07:36,549
Yeah, I got some... theories.

189
00:07:36,617 --> 00:07:38,451
- You've never been in a fight?
- Technically, no.

190
00:07:38,519 --> 00:07:40,086
I guess I'm too charming and likable.

191
00:07:40,154 --> 00:07:41,154
Call me a name.

192
00:07:43,057 --> 00:07:44,458
I can't.

193
00:07:44,526 --> 00:07:46,928
Are you telling me you've
never been punched in the face?

194
00:07:46,996 --> 00:07:49,497
No, thank God. This is the moneymaker.

195
00:07:49,565 --> 00:07:50,999
First time I got punched in the face,

196
00:07:51,067 --> 00:07:53,002
I was like, "Oh, no!"

197
00:07:53,069 --> 00:07:56,271
But then I was like, "This is a story".

198
00:07:56,339 --> 00:07:57,739
And a good one.

199
00:07:57,807 --> 00:07:58,907
Yeah.

200
00:07:58,975 --> 00:08:00,141
Every man should be punched in the face.

201
00:08:00,209 --> 00:08:01,142
It's a rite of passage.

202
00:08:01,210 --> 00:08:03,178
In my day, Friday night was

203
00:08:03,246 --> 00:08:04,879
smoke a doobie, feel up a gal,

204
00:08:04,947 --> 00:08:07,215
and then get your teeth
knocked out by a republican.

205
00:08:07,283 --> 00:08:09,184
Guys the plan here
isn't for me to get hit.

206
00:08:09,252 --> 00:08:10,451
It's for me to hit him.

207
00:08:10,519 --> 00:08:11,819
Oh, then it's settled.

208
00:08:11,887 --> 00:08:13,688
We have to teach Jeffrey how to fight.

209
00:08:13,756 --> 00:08:15,289
I know a few moves.

210
00:08:15,357 --> 00:08:17,524
Troy, I assume you're
handy with a switchblade.

211
00:08:17,592 --> 00:08:19,393
Abed, you get back to the family tent,

212
00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:21,528
try to find a chicken for Jeff to Chase.

213
00:08:21,595 --> 00:08:24,530
Guys, I appreciate the enthusiasm,

214
00:08:24,598 --> 00:08:26,832
but, uh, I think I got this.

215
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:28,901
Oh, well, look who it is.

216
00:08:28,968 --> 00:08:30,669
We got forehead, old head,

217
00:08:30,736 --> 00:08:34,172
dumb head, and, uh... the other head.

218
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,109
See you at 3:00, forehead.

219
00:08:37,176 --> 00:08:40,045
Give me a snowman, dork!

220
00:08:40,113 --> 00:08:43,783
See this, funny guy? Huh?

221
00:08:45,819 --> 00:08:49,055
Huh?

222
00:08:49,123 --> 00:08:50,590
Classic Rosie.

223
00:08:50,658 --> 00:08:52,292
Fight lessons in a half an hour?

224
00:08:52,359 --> 00:08:55,062
Good plan.

225
00:09:04,874 --> 00:09:07,209
Hello. Oh.

226
00:09:07,277 --> 00:09:09,646
Is this your Hanukkah holder?

227
00:09:09,713 --> 00:09:11,915
It's, uh... it's pretty.

228
00:09:11,983 --> 00:09:14,551
We'll just, uh...
Let's just put it...

229
00:09:14,619 --> 00:09:16,419
There we go. That's nice.

230
00:09:16,487 --> 00:09:19,423
So I can't believe

231
00:09:19,490 --> 00:09:21,391
I never knew you were a Jew.

232
00:09:21,459 --> 00:09:24,862
I'd say the whole word next time.

233
00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:30,802
So, uh, do you think everyone
will start arriving soon?

234
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,670
I think they're gonna
come after Jeff's fight.

235
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,638
After Jeff's what now?

236
00:09:34,706 --> 00:09:37,275
Jeff wants to fight that bully.

237
00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:39,177
On Christmas?

238
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,847
Um, will you excuse me for a moment?

239
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:45,183
And can you finish the manger scene?

240
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:50,087
We know you were one of us.

241
00:09:55,060 --> 00:09:56,460
'Sup? 'Sup?

242
00:09:56,528 --> 00:09:57,795
'Sup!

243
00:09:57,863 --> 00:09:59,163
No, it's a question.

244
00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:01,266
'Sup? 'Sup?

245
00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:02,901
Not a real question, a rhetorical one.

246
00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:05,170
You have the answer. He does not.

247
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,907
Okay, then you give him
the forest Whitaker eye.

248
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,308
- That's pretty good.
- Mm-hmm.

249
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:10,610
Okay, hold that stare.

250
00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:12,178
There you go. Hold it.

251
00:10:12,246 --> 00:10:14,146
Then you look straight through his eyes

252
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,347
and deep into his soul.

253
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:16,315
And then you move to Vermont.

254
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:17,816
I am sick and tired

255
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:19,418
of you saying that fighting is gay!

256
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:20,853
She's got a point.

257
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,087
You know, in boxing,
you fight for the purse and the belt.

258
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,588
I've gotta write a paper about that.

259
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:24,756
All right, I've seen enough.

260
00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:25,857
Let's see what we're working with.

261
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:27,626
Go ahead, throw a few at the old paws.

262
00:10:30,562 --> 00:10:32,263
What are you,
a North Korean seamstress?

263
00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:33,297
Not if that's bad.

264
00:10:33,365 --> 00:10:35,166
Get mad! Come on!

265
00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:37,169
If it helps, think of me
as somebody who annoys you.

266
00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,539
Ooh, that's it! That's... that's good.

267
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,441
Britta, put your blouse back on.

268
00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,977
Oh! Ow!

269
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:46,012
Boys, this is not a game.

270
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,147
You gotta be ready for anything.

271
00:10:47,215 --> 00:10:49,216
Dude, that is not cool!

272
00:10:49,283 --> 00:10:50,951
Well, that foxy Black girl thinks it is.

273
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,786
Hmm? Ow!

274
00:10:52,854 --> 00:10:55,122
- What are you doing?
- Why does she have to be black?

275
00:10:55,190 --> 00:10:56,824
What is going on?

276
00:10:56,891 --> 00:11:03,830
We're trying to get Jeff
ready for the fiiiii...iiight.

277
00:11:03,898 --> 00:11:06,166
I couldn't think of another word.

278
00:11:06,234 --> 00:11:07,368
Idiot.

279
00:11:07,435 --> 00:11:10,370
He meant we were figh...

280
00:11:10,438 --> 00:11:12,005
...ting.

281
00:11:12,073 --> 00:11:13,474
It is hard to think of another word.

282
00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:15,075
You realize there's no
other way for me to take this

283
00:11:15,143 --> 00:11:16,210
than as a giant middle finger

284
00:11:16,277 --> 00:11:17,544
to the most important day of the year.

285
00:11:17,612 --> 00:11:19,046
December 10th?

286
00:11:19,114 --> 00:11:22,116
It's our Christmas,
and I'm having a party.

287
00:11:22,184 --> 00:11:24,551
Due to my divorce and my
relatives picking sides,

288
00:11:24,619 --> 00:11:25,986
this will be the only Christmas party

289
00:11:26,054 --> 00:11:27,587
I throw this year.

290
00:11:27,655 --> 00:11:30,991
Will you be there, or
will I have another family

291
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,425
letting me down?

292
00:11:32,493 --> 00:11:36,663
I told him not to fight.
He wouldn't listen.

293
00:11:36,731 --> 00:11:40,133
I don't know what that is.

294
00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:43,902
Jeffrey,

295
00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:46,171
I have two boys.

296
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,006
And when we have a serious discussion,

297
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:50,308
I find that a brownie
helps them to relax.

298
00:11:51,810 --> 00:11:54,845
So why do you hate me and Jesus?

299
00:11:54,913 --> 00:11:57,248
I don't think my brownie's working.

300
00:11:57,315 --> 00:11:59,050
Please don't do something so ugly

301
00:11:59,117 --> 00:12:00,751
on a day so important to me.

302
00:12:00,819 --> 00:12:02,720
Again, it's December 10th.

303
00:12:02,787 --> 00:12:05,223
You think religion is stupid?

304
00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:06,323
No, no.

305
00:12:06,391 --> 00:12:08,592
To me, religion is like Paul Rudd.

306
00:12:08,660 --> 00:12:11,329
I see the appeal, and I would
never take it away from anyone.

307
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,097
But I would also never
stand in line for it.

308
00:12:13,165 --> 00:12:14,899
And look, Shirley,

309
00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:16,701
the die has been cast
with this crazy bully guy.

310
00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:19,271
He picked on Abed,
and he corrected my Spanish.

311
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:22,208
So you go to your party,
and I'll see you soon.

312
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:25,378
Jeffrey, I forbid you from fighting.

313
00:12:25,446 --> 00:12:28,715
Well, you don't get to.
You're not my mom.

314
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:29,950
You're right.

315
00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:31,652
But if you show up for the fight,

316
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,454
don't show up for my party.

317
00:12:33,521 --> 00:12:34,655
Oh, come on, Shirley, don't be mad.

318
00:12:34,723 --> 00:12:36,823
I'm not mad. I'm disappointed.

319
00:12:36,891 --> 00:12:39,660
That's "mom" for mad.

320
00:12:44,258 --> 00:12:47,794
Oh, hash browns and applesauce...
That's nice.

321
00:12:47,862 --> 00:12:50,296
Oh, what is that interesting smell?

322
00:12:50,364 --> 00:12:52,599
It's a traditional Muslim dish.

323
00:12:52,666 --> 00:12:54,400
It looks delicious.

324
00:12:54,468 --> 00:12:56,769
I'm guessing as a woman
I won't be allowed to eat that.

325
00:12:56,837 --> 00:12:59,839
That's too bad.

326
00:12:59,907 --> 00:13:02,108
Oh, look, Britta brought
what she believes in...

327
00:13:02,176 --> 00:13:03,710
nothing.

328
00:13:03,777 --> 00:13:05,612
Where should I put my
Buddha incense holder?

329
00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:08,815
I'm pretty sure that's a bong.

330
00:13:08,883 --> 00:13:09,916
Where's Jeff?

331
00:13:12,119 --> 00:13:14,787
I guess he made his choice.

332
00:13:14,855 --> 00:13:16,623
I want to go to Jeff's fight.

333
00:13:16,690 --> 00:13:18,285
As I told Jeff,
no one that goes to the fight

334
00:13:18,352 --> 00:13:19,453
can come to my party.

335
00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:20,454
He's dead to me.

336
00:13:20,521 --> 00:13:21,888
And if any of you leave,

337
00:13:21,956 --> 00:13:24,291
you'll be dead to me too.

338
00:13:24,358 --> 00:13:25,826
Let's sing.

339
00:13:25,893 --> 00:13:31,692
♪ Jesus is a friend of mine ♪

340
00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:31,898
everybody!

341
00:13:31,966 --> 00:13:33,967
♪ Jesus is a friend of mine ♪

342
00:13:34,035 --> 00:13:36,336
Come on, everybody.
You don't know it?

343
00:13:36,404 --> 00:13:38,505
You're banning Jeff from the party?

344
00:13:38,573 --> 00:13:39,906
That doesn't seem very Christian.

345
00:13:39,974 --> 00:13:42,909
Well, that's an
interesting point of view

346
00:13:42,977 --> 00:13:44,811
coming from an atheist.

347
00:13:44,879 --> 00:13:48,548
I did my best to create
a special Christmas

348
00:13:48,616 --> 00:13:51,284
for my one intact family, and...

349
00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:54,254
this is the thanks I get.

350
00:13:54,322 --> 00:13:57,390
Shirley, you are a guilt machine.

351
00:13:57,458 --> 00:13:58,859
And Annie knows a thing
or two about guilt.

352
00:13:58,926 --> 00:14:00,126
Am I right, Jew?

353
00:14:00,194 --> 00:14:02,162
Say the whole word!

354
00:14:02,230 --> 00:14:04,931
Jewie?

355
00:14:04,999 --> 00:14:06,867
You would never catch
a Jehovah's witness

356
00:14:06,934 --> 00:14:08,168
saying "Jewie".

357
00:14:08,236 --> 00:14:10,170
Tell it to the birthday
cake you never got.

358
00:14:10,238 --> 00:14:12,005
You know, there's an old Buddhist saying

359
00:14:12,073 --> 00:14:13,240
in my vision group.

360
00:14:13,307 --> 00:14:15,008
You are not a Buddhist.
You are in a cult.

361
00:14:15,076 --> 00:14:17,954
Suck it, Nietzsche!

362
00:14:18,022 --> 00:14:20,290
Guys, everyone's faith is weird.

363
00:14:20,357 --> 00:14:21,524
Let's just not talk about it.

364
00:14:21,592 --> 00:14:23,026
There's nothing weird
about Christianity.

365
00:14:28,566 --> 00:14:31,167
Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys!

366
00:14:31,235 --> 00:14:34,471
Are we really gonna let
religion divide us like this?

367
00:14:34,538 --> 00:14:36,639
I think there's one
thing we can all agree on.

368
00:14:36,707 --> 00:14:38,808
- I get 72 virgins in heaven.
- No.

369
00:14:38,876 --> 00:14:41,978
That we would all like to
have Jeff at this party.

370
00:14:42,046 --> 00:14:43,680
- Mm-mm.
- He can't come.

371
00:14:43,747 --> 00:14:45,448
- Shirley.
- Mm-mm.

372
00:14:45,516 --> 00:14:46,549
Shirley, listen.

373
00:14:46,617 --> 00:14:47,884
I get that this is your first Christmas

374
00:14:47,952 --> 00:14:50,220
since your husband left you,
and I don't know,

375
00:14:50,287 --> 00:14:52,489
maybe that's why you're
being so stubborn,

376
00:14:52,556 --> 00:14:55,058
because you're trying so
hard to re-create something

377
00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:57,727
that you're afraid that
you've lost forever.

378
00:14:57,795 --> 00:15:00,497
But if you really want us
to be your second family,

379
00:15:00,564 --> 00:15:03,233
then you've gotta start
treating us like one,

380
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:05,902
even if that means supporting us

381
00:15:05,970 --> 00:15:08,338
when we do things that
you don't agree with.

382
00:15:08,405 --> 00:15:11,474
You can start by rooting for Jeff

383
00:15:11,542 --> 00:15:13,910
while he rolls around on the ground

384
00:15:13,978 --> 00:15:17,080
groping another man.

385
00:15:17,147 --> 00:15:19,883
That's what I'm gonna do.

386
00:15:30,199 --> 00:15:33,019
The cranberry sauce
has real cranberries.

387
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,020
Look, if he doesn't show up,

388
00:15:35,677 --> 00:15:37,044
We're definitely going
to Applebee's, right?

389
00:15:37,112 --> 00:15:38,479
Yeah.

390
00:15:38,547 --> 00:15:40,214
I'm getting into a fight
no matter what today, dude.

391
00:15:40,282 --> 00:15:41,716
No matter what!

392
00:15:41,683 --> 00:15:43,785
Look who showed.

393
00:15:43,852 --> 00:15:47,688
Oh, check him out. Ahh...ahh!

394
00:15:47,756 --> 00:15:50,525
What's up, dude? No backup today?

395
00:15:50,592 --> 00:15:52,527
Huh? Looks like grandpa and weirdo

396
00:15:52,594 --> 00:15:54,228
couldn't show up to get
their teeth knocked out, huh?

397
00:15:54,296 --> 00:15:55,830
Can I ask you a question?

398
00:15:55,898 --> 00:15:57,932
Are you perpetually
on your way to the gym?

399
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,600
Dude, my life is a gym!

400
00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:01,469
- Well, 'sup?
- 'Sup, man?

401
00:16:01,537 --> 00:16:02,770
- 'Sup?
- 'Sup?

402
00:16:02,838 --> 00:16:04,172
- 'Sup? 'Sup?
- 'Sup? 'Sup?

403
00:16:04,239 --> 00:16:06,007
- 'Sup? 'Sup?
- 'Sup? 'Sup?

404
00:16:06,074 --> 00:16:08,075
'Sup? 'Sup?

405
00:16:08,143 --> 00:16:09,911
Whoa.

406
00:16:09,978 --> 00:16:11,746
Dude, what is that?

407
00:16:11,814 --> 00:16:14,415
All right, just one sec.
These are very expensive.

408
00:16:18,420 --> 00:16:20,688
All right...

409
00:16:20,756 --> 00:16:21,689
Dude, you wear a bracelet?

410
00:16:25,794 --> 00:16:28,563
Your name's Mike, right?

411
00:16:28,630 --> 00:16:30,364
So?

412
00:16:30,432 --> 00:16:32,266
Mike, I'm not gonna fight you.

413
00:16:32,334 --> 00:16:34,702
I have a friend that believes
this is the time of year

414
00:16:34,770 --> 00:16:36,170
where you put aside your differences,

415
00:16:36,238 --> 00:16:37,271
and you make peace.

416
00:16:37,339 --> 00:16:40,107
Me... I don't believe in any of that,

417
00:16:40,175 --> 00:16:41,532
but I do believe in friendship.

418
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,935
And as much as I hate you
and the cast of breakin',

419
00:16:45,003 --> 00:16:46,170
I have to ask myself,

420
00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:48,038
what would Shirley do?

421
00:16:49,474 --> 00:16:50,841
- Oh!
- What would Shirley do?

422
00:16:50,909 --> 00:16:52,476
- I think...
- What would Shirley do?

423
00:16:52,544 --> 00:16:55,246
That she would shake your hand

424
00:16:55,313 --> 00:16:57,014
and wish you a Merry Christmas.

425
00:16:57,082 --> 00:16:58,649
Daa!

426
00:16:58,717 --> 00:17:01,752
Jeffrey...

427
00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:03,854
Kick his ass!

428
00:17:03,922 --> 00:17:05,456
Cavalry's here. Shirts off, boys!

429
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,792
Come on, I'm being punked, right?

430
00:17:07,859 --> 00:17:09,059
Come here. Come here.

431
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:38,455
Please, it's Christmas.

432
00:17:38,523 --> 00:17:41,292
It's December 10th!

433
00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:44,028
Not the moneymaker.
Not the moneymaker!

434
00:17:44,095 --> 00:17:45,563
Ow! Ow!

435
00:17:45,630 --> 00:17:48,265
Aah!

436
00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:51,902
You're welcome!

437
00:18:41,407 --> 00:18:43,742
Yeah! That was really good.

438
00:18:43,810 --> 00:18:45,911
- Yeah!
- That was nice.

439
00:18:45,978 --> 00:18:47,213
Thank you, thank you. I get it, yes.

440
00:18:47,281 --> 00:18:48,848
It is I, Senior Chang.

441
00:18:48,916 --> 00:18:50,783
Shakira, hold this.

442
00:18:50,851 --> 00:18:55,555
So... I have finished
grading everyone's finals,

443
00:18:55,622 --> 00:18:58,891
and all of you are moving on.

444
00:19:00,828 --> 00:19:02,695
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yes.

445
00:19:02,763 --> 00:19:05,698
Heh heh heh, except... for Jeff.

446
00:19:05,766 --> 00:19:07,900
Turns out you...

447
00:19:07,968 --> 00:19:11,270
pause for dramatic effect...

448
00:19:11,338 --> 00:19:14,373
will be seeing me next semester.

449
00:19:14,441 --> 00:19:16,409
Noooooooo!

450
00:19:16,476 --> 00:19:19,301
In Spanish 102! Heh heh heh.

451
00:19:19,369 --> 00:19:21,103
Because he passed, you know.

452
00:19:21,171 --> 00:19:22,505
And I'm the only Spanish teacher.

453
00:19:22,572 --> 00:19:23,873
Yay!

454
00:19:23,940 --> 00:19:26,075
I meant about Jeff passing.

455
00:19:26,143 --> 00:19:27,877
You being our Spanish teacher...

456
00:19:27,944 --> 00:19:29,111
Eh.

457
00:19:29,179 --> 00:19:31,647
Whoa.

458
00:19:31,715 --> 00:19:33,516
Man, Mike got you good.

459
00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:35,584
Actually, uh,
that was my present to Jeff.

460
00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:39,188
I don't care.
I got a Mountain to shred.

461
00:19:39,256 --> 00:19:42,792
Jeffrey, you're a man now.

462
00:19:42,859 --> 00:19:43,926
How's it feel?

463
00:19:43,994 --> 00:19:45,561
I got hit in the face, like, four times

464
00:19:45,629 --> 00:19:46,962
before you punched me.

465
00:19:47,030 --> 00:19:49,665
Some people just don't know
how to say thank you.

466
00:19:49,733 --> 00:19:52,168
Pierce, thank you.

467
00:19:53,737 --> 00:19:56,438
And thanks to all of you

468
00:19:56,506 --> 00:20:00,276
for showing up and having my back

469
00:20:00,343 --> 00:20:02,845
when we fought those fly dancers.

470
00:20:02,913 --> 00:20:04,680
So, uh...

471
00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:08,350
- Merry...
- No, no, no, no, no.

472
00:20:08,418 --> 00:20:10,286
Holiday.

473
00:20:10,353 --> 00:20:12,922
Actually, I was gonna say merry semester

474
00:20:12,989 --> 00:20:15,825
and happy new one.

475
00:20:15,892 --> 00:20:17,760
Here we go. Here we go.

476
00:20:17,828 --> 00:20:19,595
- Switch.
- Switch, switch glasses.

477
00:20:19,663 --> 00:20:42,189
Sync by YesCool - Corrected by 4be1
www.addic7ed.com