1
00:00:01,434 --> 00:00:03,791
<i>Happy last day before winter break,
Greendale!</i>

2
00:00:03,916 --> 00:00:05,479
<i>Time to visit our loved ones.</i>

3
00:00:05,604 --> 00:00:08,074
<i>Some of you will travel
as far as three miles!</i>

4
00:00:08,665 --> 00:00:11,120
<i>Don't forget to visit
our winter wonderland in the quad</i>

5
00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:14,895
<i>where we're giving away
catalogues of next semester's classes.</i>

6
00:00:18,815 --> 00:00:20,085
<i>What's that sound?</i>

7
00:00:20,210 --> 00:00:23,743
<i>Is that the tippy-tapping
of secular boots on the roof?</i>

8
00:00:25,738 --> 00:00:28,094
It must be yet another sign

9
00:00:28,344 --> 00:00:30,276
that it is the season,

10
00:00:30,401 --> 00:00:32,331
because rumor has it

11
00:00:32,456 --> 00:00:35,609
that non-denominational Mr. Winter

12
00:00:35,734 --> 00:00:38,034
is on his way to the student lounge!

13
00:00:39,734 --> 00:00:42,690
I'm so sick of the Dean
jamming his PC-ness down my throat.

14
00:00:43,332 --> 00:00:46,070
Pierce, I'd like to commend you
for letting that one go.

15
00:00:46,238 --> 00:00:47,571
"PC-ness".

16
00:00:48,269 --> 00:00:49,227
Now I get it.

17
00:00:49,352 --> 00:00:51,282
It sounds like "penis".
I just got it too.

18
00:00:51,588 --> 00:00:55,521
It's still Christmas to all of us,
and I made you all a little gift,

19
00:00:55,646 --> 00:00:57,206
because you're like my new family.

20
00:00:57,483 --> 00:00:59,042
"WWBJD"?

21
00:00:59,210 --> 00:01:01,106
If this stands
for "What Would Billy Joel Do",

22
00:01:01,231 --> 00:01:04,592
I'll tell you right now...
He'd write another crappy song.

23
00:01:04,717 --> 00:01:06,767
Yeah, in your face, Billy Joel.

24
00:01:07,384 --> 00:01:08,676
"What Would Baby Jesus Do?"

25
00:01:09,077 --> 00:01:12,805
It's to remind us that the real meaning
of this season is Christmas.

26
00:01:14,410 --> 00:01:18,357
Thank you. I'm gonna put that
in the pocket closest to my heart.

27
00:01:18,820 --> 00:01:21,020
No, it's a bracelet. You put 'em on.

28
00:01:22,195 --> 00:01:23,314
Everybody put 'em on.

29
00:01:34,788 --> 00:01:36,888
You took all the winter-doodles.

30
00:01:37,272 --> 00:01:39,122
What are you, a douche bag?

31
00:01:39,262 --> 00:01:41,207
There's a lot of other cookies left.

32
00:01:41,378 --> 00:01:44,210
There's macadamia nut cookies there.
I have a tree-nut allergy.

33
00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:46,949
Stay away
from Christmas-tree-shaped cookies.

34
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:49,048
That did not make allergic sense.
You an idiot?

35
00:01:51,739 --> 00:01:54,207
We get it.
You and the A-Team are awesome.

36
00:01:54,332 --> 00:01:56,187
- Now beat it.
- Look at that.

37
00:01:56,312 --> 00:01:58,643
Pretty boy standing up
for bird face over here.

38
00:01:58,916 --> 00:02:00,616
Give me a winter-doodle.

39
00:02:00,857 --> 00:02:03,564
If you're trying to be menacing,
don't call the cookie by its name.

40
00:02:05,172 --> 00:02:07,024
You're funny.
You're a funny man.

41
00:02:07,250 --> 00:02:08,528
Wanna hear something funny?

42
00:02:08,771 --> 00:02:09,926
Knock, knock.

43
00:02:10,051 --> 00:02:11,654
My fist up your balls!

44
00:02:12,768 --> 00:02:13,656
Who's there?

45
00:02:15,558 --> 00:02:18,458
Merry happy!

46
00:02:19,708 --> 00:02:20,873
This ain't over.

47
00:02:23,419 --> 00:02:25,501
There won't always be a Dean around.
All right?

48
00:02:27,289 --> 00:02:28,798
Still waiting on those cookies.

49
00:02:56,037 --> 00:02:57,867
Jeff protected my honor.
Like my bodyguard,

50
00:02:58,037 --> 00:03:00,662
I was the kid from <i>Meatballs</i>,
Jeff the guy from <i>Full Metal Jacket</i>,

51
00:03:00,831 --> 00:03:03,081
and the moustache guy
was the brother on <i>Entourage</i>.

52
00:03:03,530 --> 00:03:05,604
- Thanks for dumbing that down for us.
- You got it.

53
00:03:05,729 --> 00:03:09,129
So what's the deal?
Leave your stones in your other suit?

54
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,328
- Why didn't you rap him in the face?
- For the same reason that I floss,

55
00:03:12,453 --> 00:03:14,352
have a bed frame,
keep my guitar in its case...

56
00:03:14,477 --> 00:03:15,343
I'm over 23.

57
00:03:15,513 --> 00:03:18,261
I'm proud of you
for handling it peacefully,

58
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:21,210
like a certain little birthday boy.

59
00:03:21,977 --> 00:03:23,977
Real men turn the other cheek.

60
00:03:24,646 --> 00:03:26,354
- Let's see 'em.
- Nonsense.

61
00:03:26,522 --> 00:03:29,733
Men were wired to fight each other
so women could choose the right mate.

62
00:03:29,999 --> 00:03:33,528
The real reason men fight
is to release their pent-up gayness.

63
00:03:33,696 --> 00:03:35,447
He wasn't gay.
He had a moustache.

64
00:03:35,789 --> 00:03:37,333
You know what I have?
Finals.

65
00:03:37,458 --> 00:03:39,103
Are we cramming for Spanish or not?

66
00:03:39,228 --> 00:03:41,369
I need a 65,
or I'm gonna flunk the class.

67
00:03:43,101 --> 00:03:45,906
Why didn't you do extra-credit tasks
if you knew that you were...

68
00:03:46,031 --> 00:03:46,833
failing?

69
00:03:47,001 --> 00:03:50,301
Doing more than the minimum work
is my definition of...

70
00:03:50,821 --> 00:03:52,914
- failing.
- Quick question...

71
00:03:53,039 --> 00:03:55,430
You all coming to my Christmas party
right after the final,

72
00:03:55,555 --> 00:03:58,261
or are you stopping home
to change into your Christmas outfits?

73
00:04:02,914 --> 00:04:05,464
I could wear
one of my Hanukah sweaters.

74
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:09,481
I didn't know you weren't Christian.

75
00:04:10,729 --> 00:04:13,318
One might even say I'm Jewish.

76
00:04:13,977 --> 00:04:15,977
That's good for you.
That's wonderful.

77
00:04:16,102 --> 00:04:18,782
- I respect all religions of the world.
- I'm Muslim.

78
00:04:18,950 --> 00:04:20,366
- Jehovah's witness.
- Atheist.

79
00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:24,100
- The lord is testing me.
- It is a subject that breeds conflicts.

80
00:04:24,225 --> 00:04:25,413
Can we please do...

81
00:04:25,582 --> 00:04:28,132
- What religion are you?
- I'm agnostic.

82
00:04:29,545 --> 00:04:31,628
Agnostic... Lazy man's atheist.

83
00:04:33,089 --> 00:04:34,339
I'm born-again.

84
00:04:35,116 --> 00:04:37,477
We had a re-birthing ritual
in my friend's hot tub.

85
00:04:37,602 --> 00:04:41,387
I'm now a level-five laser lotus
in my Buddhist community.

86
00:04:41,913 --> 00:04:44,599
That does not sound like Buddhism.
Are you sure you're not in a cult?

87
00:04:44,947 --> 00:04:46,889
Just by asking me that question,

88
00:04:47,014 --> 00:04:49,103
you've put me back down
to a level four.

89
00:04:49,469 --> 00:04:51,731
You now owe me 2,000 energon cubes.

90
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:54,162
Do you know
how foolish you sound right now?

91
00:04:54,287 --> 00:04:56,530
What else do you believe in,
blood transfusions?

92
00:04:56,655 --> 00:04:59,755
Jehovah's witnesses
are a type of christian, right?

93
00:05:00,074 --> 00:05:02,688
But we don't celebrate
birthdays or Christmas.

94
00:05:02,813 --> 00:05:04,263
And we can't drink.

95
00:05:04,503 --> 00:05:06,538
- But it helps.
- So you're like a muslim.

96
00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:10,914
Don't we have
a diverse little family.

97
00:05:11,039 --> 00:05:13,852
I say we open up this party
to all faiths.

98
00:05:13,977 --> 00:05:15,754
I brought my star of Bethlehem,

99
00:05:15,879 --> 00:05:18,728
which led the wise men
to the savior of all mankind.

100
00:05:18,853 --> 00:05:22,771
And you guys can bring a little trinket
or doodad from your philosophies.

101
00:05:22,896 --> 00:05:23,805
Sounds good?

102
00:05:23,974 --> 00:05:26,974
As an agnostic,
I'm gonna bring my winning smile.

103
00:05:40,181 --> 00:05:42,090
So boring.

104
00:05:43,907 --> 00:05:44,907
Done.

105
00:05:51,058 --> 00:05:54,662
"True or <i>falso</i>
or none of the above"?

106
00:05:55,089 --> 00:05:56,421
That doesn't make any sense.

107
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,210
Look at that.

108
00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:05,138
- Forehead's taking a test.
- Get going, Chuck Norris.

109
00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:09,517
- Did you just shoo me?
- Why don't you just kiss him already?

110
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,103
Dude, I will shoo your nose
down your throat!

111
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:13,980
Can you do something about this?

112
00:06:15,326 --> 00:06:16,526
I'll allow it.

113
00:06:17,401 --> 00:06:18,851
<i>Qué pasa</i> here, huh?

114
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,781
It's <i>usted</i>, dude. Even I know that.

115
00:06:27,274 --> 00:06:29,741
You picked the wrong day
to correct my Spanish, no sleeves.

116
00:06:29,866 --> 00:06:32,874
- It's on!
- He's my bodyguard.

117
00:06:33,042 --> 00:06:34,834
- Wanna dance?
- Maybe to some show tunes?

118
00:06:35,004 --> 00:06:37,271
I wanna beat the crap out of you.
I'm gonna enjoy it.

119
00:06:37,396 --> 00:06:38,809
You're like this school.

120
00:06:38,934 --> 00:06:42,050
Obnoxious, cramping my style.
You smell like french-fry oil.

121
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:43,760
I don't get it!

122
00:06:43,929 --> 00:06:47,055
3:00! Bike rack!
But not the one by the parking lot!

123
00:06:47,459 --> 00:06:50,433
The one by the trash cans
where they building the wheelchair ramp!

124
00:06:51,937 --> 00:06:54,386
Best exam ever.

125
00:07:01,385 --> 00:07:03,636
So help me
if that jerk-weed made me fail.

126
00:07:03,761 --> 00:07:06,137
Well, I aced it, <i>amigo</i>.
That means "cousin. "

127
00:07:06,262 --> 00:07:07,760
What's my role in the fight?

128
00:07:07,885 --> 00:07:10,453
Is there a key moment
where I finally stand up for myself?

129
00:07:11,452 --> 00:07:13,778
- Maybe you should just hang back.
- I will.

130
00:07:13,903 --> 00:07:14,874
In his face!

131
00:07:15,042 --> 00:07:17,368
Whatever you do,
don't tell Shirley about the fight.

132
00:07:17,493 --> 00:07:20,635
She'll start in with all her mother-y,
guilt-inducing powers.

133
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,097
You know what I mean?

134
00:07:22,222 --> 00:07:24,924
I'm wearing this Jesus bracelet
'cause it gets me chicks.

135
00:07:25,204 --> 00:07:26,574
I know guys like this Mike.

136
00:07:26,699 --> 00:07:28,511
Used to be a nerd. Now, a meathead.

137
00:07:28,875 --> 00:07:29,889
Dangerous combo.

138
00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:33,224
Tyson, Lou Ferrigno,
Rosie O'Donnell.

139
00:07:33,394 --> 00:07:35,686
You're a pretty big dude.
Probably got some moves.

140
00:07:36,570 --> 00:07:37,720
I got some...

141
00:07:37,996 --> 00:07:39,399
- theories.
- Never fought?

142
00:07:39,664 --> 00:07:40,821
Technically, no.

143
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,985
I'm too charming and likable.
Call me a name.

144
00:07:45,251 --> 00:07:46,321
I can't.

145
00:07:46,571 --> 00:07:48,783
Are you telling me
you never been punched in the face?

146
00:07:50,197 --> 00:07:51,369
This is the moneymaker.

147
00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:54,699
First time I got punched in the face,
I was like, "Oh, no!"

148
00:07:54,824 --> 00:07:57,324
But then I was like,
"This is a story."

149
00:07:59,094 --> 00:08:00,144
A good one.

150
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:03,005
Every man should be punched in the face.
It's a rite of passage.

151
00:08:03,688 --> 00:08:06,791
In my day, Friday night
was smoke a doobie, feel up a gal,

152
00:08:06,916 --> 00:08:09,509
and then get your teeth knocked out
by a Republican.

153
00:08:09,634 --> 00:08:12,306
The plan here isn't for me to get hit.
It's for me to hit him.

154
00:08:12,780 --> 00:08:13,681
It's settled.

155
00:08:13,946 --> 00:08:15,884
We have to teach Jeffrey
how to fight.

156
00:08:16,009 --> 00:08:17,447
I know a few moves.

157
00:08:17,572 --> 00:08:19,395
I assume you're handy
with a switchblade.

158
00:08:19,759 --> 00:08:23,399
Abed, you get back to the family tent,
try to find a chicken for Jeff to chase.

159
00:08:24,945 --> 00:08:28,696
I appreciate the enthusiasm,
but I think I got this.

160
00:08:28,958 --> 00:08:30,783
Look who it is.

161
00:08:30,952 --> 00:08:33,852
We got forehead, old head,
dumb head, and...

162
00:08:34,418 --> 00:08:35,668
The other head.

163
00:08:36,339 --> 00:08:38,139
See you at 3:00, forehead.

164
00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:40,209
A snowman!

165
00:08:42,749 --> 00:08:44,249
See this, funny guy?

166
00:08:51,496 --> 00:08:54,140
- Classic Rosie.
- Fight lessons in a half an hour?

167
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:56,101
Good plan.

168
00:09:09,856 --> 00:09:11,489
Is this your Hanukkah holder?

169
00:09:12,214 --> 00:09:13,622
It's pretty.

170
00:09:14,172 --> 00:09:16,370
We'll just...
Let's just put it...

171
00:09:16,538 --> 00:09:18,247
There we go. That's nice.

172
00:09:20,022 --> 00:09:23,209
I can't believe
I never knew you were a Jew.

173
00:09:24,358 --> 00:09:26,672
I'd say the whole word next time.

174
00:09:29,434 --> 00:09:32,635
So do you think
everyone will start arriving soon?

175
00:09:32,998 --> 00:09:34,512
After Jeff's fight.

176
00:09:35,521 --> 00:09:36,472
After what?

177
00:09:37,684 --> 00:09:39,101
Jeff wants to fight that bully.

178
00:09:40,008 --> 00:09:41,020
On Christmas?

179
00:09:42,068 --> 00:09:43,689
Will you excuse me for a moment?

180
00:09:44,521 --> 00:09:46,821
And can you finish the manger scene?

181
00:09:49,229 --> 00:09:50,905
We know you were one of us.

182
00:09:57,186 --> 00:09:58,329
'Sup? 'Sup?

183
00:09:58,747 --> 00:10:00,974
- 'Sup!
- No, it's a question.

184
00:10:03,293 --> 00:10:06,954
Not a real question, a rhetorical one.
You have the answer. He does not.

185
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,377
Then you give him
the Forest Whitaker eye.

186
00:10:09,628 --> 00:10:10,941
That's pretty good.

187
00:10:11,246 --> 00:10:13,906
Hold that stare.
There you go. Hold it.

188
00:10:14,221 --> 00:10:17,181
Then you look straight through
his eyes and deep into his soul.

189
00:10:17,349 --> 00:10:18,806
And then you move to Vermont.

190
00:10:18,931 --> 00:10:21,267
I am sick and tired of you
saying that fighting is gay!

191
00:10:21,437 --> 00:10:23,938
She got a point. In boxing,
you fight for the purse and the belt.

192
00:10:24,203 --> 00:10:26,641
- I've gotta write a paper about that.
- I've seen enough.

193
00:10:26,766 --> 00:10:29,443
Let's see what we're working with.
Go ahead, throw a few at the old paws.

194
00:10:32,531 --> 00:10:34,375
What are you,
a north Korean seamstress?

195
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:37,027
- Not if that's bad.
- Get mad! Come on!

196
00:10:37,202 --> 00:10:39,671
If it helps,
think of me as somebody who annoys you.

197
00:10:40,997 --> 00:10:42,242
That's it!
That's...

198
00:10:42,367 --> 00:10:44,603
that's good.
Britta, put your blouse back on.

199
00:10:46,678 --> 00:10:49,104
this is not a game.
You gotta be ready for anything.

200
00:10:49,229 --> 00:10:51,090
Dude, that is not cool!

201
00:10:51,258 --> 00:10:52,800
Black girl thinks it is.

202
00:10:54,803 --> 00:10:56,971
- What you doing?
- Why does she have to be black?

203
00:10:57,139 --> 00:10:58,681
What is going on?

204
00:10:58,849 --> 00:11:02,462
We're trying to get jeff ready
for the fiiiii...

205
00:11:02,911 --> 00:11:03,862
iiight.

206
00:11:06,513 --> 00:11:08,997
- I couldn't think of another word.
- Idiot.

207
00:11:09,506 --> 00:11:11,110
He meant we were figh...

208
00:11:13,033 --> 00:11:15,321
ting.
It is hard to think of another word.

209
00:11:15,491 --> 00:11:17,647
There's no other way to me
to take this

210
00:11:17,772 --> 00:11:19,967
than as a giant middle finger
to this day.

211
00:11:20,092 --> 00:11:22,159
- December 10th?
- It's our Christmas,

212
00:11:22,534 --> 00:11:23,905
and I'm having a party.

213
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,417
Due to my divorce
and my relatives picking sides,

214
00:11:26,585 --> 00:11:29,100
this will be the only Christmas
party I throw this year.

215
00:11:29,538 --> 00:11:30,630
Will you be there,

216
00:11:31,288 --> 00:11:34,298
or will I have another
family letting me down?

217
00:11:34,468 --> 00:11:35,917
I told him not to fight.

218
00:11:36,561 --> 00:11:37,792
He wouldn't listen.

219
00:11:38,946 --> 00:11:40,598
I don't know what that is.

220
00:11:46,595 --> 00:11:47,813
I have two boys.

221
00:11:48,411 --> 00:11:50,743
And when we have a serious discussion,
I find that a...

222
00:11:50,868 --> 00:11:52,406
brownie helps them to relax.

223
00:11:55,078 --> 00:11:56,697
Why do you hate me and Jesus?

224
00:11:57,949 --> 00:11:59,403
I think my brownie's working.

225
00:11:59,528 --> 00:12:02,618
Please don't do something
so ugly on a day so important to me.

226
00:12:03,008 --> 00:12:04,580
Again, it's december 10th.

227
00:12:05,456 --> 00:12:07,081
You think religion is stupid?

228
00:12:07,695 --> 00:12:10,285
No, to me,
religion is like Paul Rudd.

229
00:12:10,583 --> 00:12:13,132
I see the appeal, and I would
never take it away from anyone.

230
00:12:13,257 --> 00:12:15,239
But I would also never
stand in line for it.

231
00:12:15,364 --> 00:12:16,516
And look, Shirley,

232
00:12:16,641 --> 00:12:19,739
the die has been cast with this
crazy bully guy. He picked on Abed,

233
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,413
and he corrected my Spanish.

234
00:12:22,168 --> 00:12:24,395
So you go to your party,
and I'll see you soon.

235
00:12:25,426 --> 00:12:27,226
I forbid you from fighting.

236
00:12:28,429 --> 00:12:30,564
You don't get to.
You're not my mom.

237
00:12:30,732 --> 00:12:31,676
You're right.

238
00:12:31,801 --> 00:12:35,193
But if you show up for the fight,
don't show up for my party.

239
00:12:35,706 --> 00:12:38,696
- Come on, Shirley, don't be mad.
- I'm not mad. I'm disappointed.

240
00:12:38,866 --> 00:12:40,539
That's "mom" for mad.

241
00:12:49,007 --> 00:12:51,362
Hash browns and applesauce...
that's nice.

242
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:54,374
what is that interesting smell?

243
00:12:54,499 --> 00:12:56,366
It's a traditional muslim dish.

244
00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:58,312
It looks delicious.

245
00:12:58,437 --> 00:13:01,019
I'm guessing as a woman
I won't be allowed to eat that.

246
00:13:01,144 --> 00:13:02,378
That's too bad.

247
00:13:04,146 --> 00:13:06,548
Look, Britta brought
what she believes in...

248
00:13:06,806 --> 00:13:07,683
nothing.

249
00:13:07,851 --> 00:13:09,827
Where should I put
my buddha incense holder?

250
00:13:09,952 --> 00:13:11,573
I'm pretty sure that's a bong.

251
00:13:12,795 --> 00:13:13,856
Where's Jeff?

252
00:13:16,810 --> 00:13:18,736
I guess he made his choice.

253
00:13:19,564 --> 00:13:21,732
- I want to go to Jeff's fight.
- As I told Jeff,

254
00:13:21,857 --> 00:13:24,867
no one that goes to the fight can
come to my party. He's dead to me.

255
00:13:25,035 --> 00:13:27,393
And if any of you leave,
you'll be dead to me too.

256
00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:29,882
Let's sing.

257
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,437
<i>Jesus is a friend of mine</i>

258
00:13:35,601 --> 00:13:36,632
Everybody!

259
00:13:38,733 --> 00:13:40,760
Come on, everybody.
You don't know it?

260
00:13:41,173 --> 00:13:44,689
You're banning Jeff from the party?
That doesn't seem very christian.

261
00:13:45,275 --> 00:13:46,259
Well, that's an

262
00:13:46,384 --> 00:13:49,224
interesting point of view
coming from an atheist.

263
00:13:49,866 --> 00:13:51,824
I did my best to create a

264
00:13:52,327 --> 00:13:54,284
special christmas for my one

265
00:13:54,507 --> 00:13:55,936
intact family, and...

266
00:13:57,014 --> 00:13:58,651
this is the thanks I get.

267
00:13:59,135 --> 00:14:01,210
Shirley, you are a guilt machine.

268
00:14:01,335 --> 00:14:03,522
And Annie knows a thing
or two about guilt.

269
00:14:03,827 --> 00:14:04,952
Am I right, jew?

270
00:14:05,221 --> 00:14:06,575
Say the whole word!

271
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:08,452
Jewie?

272
00:14:09,597 --> 00:14:12,581
You would never catch a jehovah's
witness saying "jewie. "

273
00:14:12,815 --> 00:14:14,583
Tell it to the birthday
cake you never got.

274
00:14:15,284 --> 00:14:17,277
There's an old buddhist
saying in my vision group.

275
00:14:17,402 --> 00:14:19,421
You're not a buddhist.
You're in a cult.

276
00:14:19,816 --> 00:14:21,639
- Suck it, Nietzsche!
- Guys,

277
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:24,426
everyone's faith is weird.
Let's just not talk about it.

278
00:14:34,316 --> 00:14:37,386
Are we really gonna let
religion divide us like this?

279
00:14:37,606 --> 00:14:39,525
I think there's one thing
we can all agree on.

280
00:14:39,790 --> 00:14:41,426
I get 72 virgins in heaven.

281
00:14:42,574 --> 00:14:44,863
That we would all like to
have Jeff at this party.

282
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,074
He can't come.

283
00:14:48,495 --> 00:14:50,744
Listen.
I get that this is your first christmas

284
00:14:50,954 --> 00:14:53,122
since your husband left you,
and I don't know,

285
00:14:53,428 --> 00:14:56,011
maybe that's why you're being
so stubborn, because you're

286
00:14:56,136 --> 00:14:57,960
trying so hard to
re-create something

287
00:14:58,128 --> 00:15:00,178
that you're afraid
that you've lost forever.

288
00:15:00,882 --> 00:15:03,882
If you really want us to
be your second family,

289
00:15:04,007 --> 00:15:06,135
then you've gotta start
treating us like one,

290
00:15:07,098 --> 00:15:08,767
Even if that means supporting us

291
00:15:08,972 --> 00:15:11,223
when we do things
that you don't agree with.

292
00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:13,144
You can start

293
00:15:13,431 --> 00:15:15,597
by rooting for Jeff
while he rolls around

294
00:15:15,722 --> 00:15:18,022
on the ground groping another man.

295
00:15:20,150 --> 00:15:21,275
That's what I'll do.

296
00:15:34,499 --> 00:15:36,582
The cranberry sauce
has real cranberries.

297
00:15:37,331 --> 00:15:40,411
If this dude doesn't show up,
we're definitely going to Applebee's.

298
00:15:40,994 --> 00:15:43,736
'Cause I'm getting into a fight
no matter what today, dude.

299
00:15:45,627 --> 00:15:46,675
Look who showed.

300
00:15:47,253 --> 00:15:48,453
Check him out.

301
00:15:50,764 --> 00:15:52,064
What's up, dude?

302
00:15:52,765 --> 00:15:54,059
No backup today?

303
00:15:54,435 --> 00:15:57,144
Looks like grandpa couldn't show up
to get their teeth knocked out.

304
00:15:57,529 --> 00:15:58,842
Can I ask you a question?

305
00:15:59,056 --> 00:16:00,856
Are you perpetually
on your way to the gym?

306
00:16:01,244 --> 00:16:02,524
Dude, my life is a gym!

307
00:16:03,319 --> 00:16:05,217
- Well, 'sup?
- 'Sup, man?

308
00:16:14,454 --> 00:16:16,246
What is that?
All right, just one sec.

309
00:16:16,371 --> 00:16:17,809
These are very expensive.

310
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:22,336
All right...

311
00:16:23,755 --> 00:16:25,218
Dude, you wear a bracelet?

312
00:16:30,808 --> 00:16:32,751
- Your name's Mike, right?
- So?

313
00:16:34,252 --> 00:16:35,724
I'm not gonna fight you.

314
00:16:35,976 --> 00:16:37,893
I've a friend
that believes this is the time

315
00:16:38,018 --> 00:16:40,187
where you put aside differences,
and make peace.

316
00:16:40,745 --> 00:16:42,967
Me...
I don't believe in any of that,

317
00:16:43,193 --> 00:16:44,995
but I do believe in friendship.

318
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:47,556
And as much as I hate you
and the cast of breakin',

319
00:16:48,054 --> 00:16:49,571
I have to ask myself,

320
00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:51,406
what would Shirley do?

321
00:16:53,752 --> 00:16:55,848
- What would Shirley do?
- I think...

322
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,466
That she would...
shake your hand

323
00:16:58,908 --> 00:17:00,415
and wish you a merry Christmas.

324
00:17:05,621 --> 00:17:07,256
Kick his ass!

325
00:17:07,424 --> 00:17:08,841
Cavalry's here.
Shirts off!

326
00:17:10,468 --> 00:17:13,345
- Come on, I'm being punked, right?
- Kick off. Come here.

327
00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:43,375
- Please, it's Christmas.
- It's December 10th!

328
00:17:46,004 --> 00:17:47,570
Not the moneymaker.

329
00:17:54,623 --> 00:17:55,679
You're welcome!

330
00:18:45,987 --> 00:18:47,445
That was nice.

331
00:18:48,197 --> 00:18:49,382
Thank you.

332
00:18:49,507 --> 00:18:52,027
I get it, yes.
It is I, senor chang.

333
00:18:52,195 --> 00:18:53,645
Shakira, hold this.

334
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:58,384
I have finished
grading everyone's finals,

335
00:18:58,578 --> 00:18:59,743
and...

336
00:18:59,911 --> 00:19:01,787
all of you... are moving on.

337
00:19:06,607 --> 00:19:08,585
Except... for Jeff.

338
00:19:09,570 --> 00:19:10,796
Turns out you...

339
00:19:11,634 --> 00:19:13,534
Pause for dramatic effect...

340
00:19:14,379 --> 00:19:15,926
will be seeing me next semester.

341
00:19:19,624 --> 00:19:21,890
In spanish 102!

342
00:19:22,851 --> 00:19:25,894
Because he passed, you know.
And I'm the only spanish teacher.

343
00:19:27,763 --> 00:19:29,507
I meant about Jeff passing.

344
00:19:29,632 --> 00:19:31,424
You being our spanish teacher...

345
00:19:35,198 --> 00:19:36,905
Man, Mike got you good.

346
00:19:37,075 --> 00:19:38,991
Actually,
that was my present to Jeff.

347
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:41,982
I don't care.
I got a mountain to shred.

348
00:19:43,658 --> 00:19:45,497
Jeffrey, you're a man now.

349
00:19:46,324 --> 00:19:47,291
How's it feel?

350
00:19:47,529 --> 00:19:50,335
I got hit in the face four times
before you punched me.

351
00:19:51,174 --> 00:19:53,046
Some people don't know
how to say thanks.

352
00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:55,507
Pierce, thank you.

353
00:19:58,378 --> 00:19:59,757
And thanks to all of you...

354
00:20:00,508 --> 00:20:01,564
for showing up,

355
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:04,411
and having my back

356
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:06,479
when we fought those fly dancers.

357
00:20:10,233 --> 00:20:11,616
Merry...

358
00:20:12,061 --> 00:20:13,111
"holiday".

359
00:20:13,820 --> 00:20:16,868
Actually,
I was gonna say merry semester, and...

360
00:20:16,993 --> 00:20:18,420
happy new one.

361
00:20:28,458 --> 00:20:31,122
<i>Oh, Christmas troy,
Oh, Christmas troy,</i>

362
00:20:31,352 --> 00:20:33,892
<i>The candles shine so brightly.</i>

363
00:20:36,978 --> 00:20:39,134
<i>Much pleasure thou canst give me.</i>

364
00:20:41,790 --> 00:20:43,305
Why do you do stuff like this?

365
00:20:44,387 --> 00:20:45,477
'Cause it's fun.

366
00:20:47,519 --> 00:20:50,229
<i>The sight of thee at Christmastide,</i>

367
00:20:50,354 --> 00:20:52,854
<i>Spreads hope and gladness far
and wide,</i>

368
00:20:53,732 --> 00:20:57,718
<i>Oh, Christmas troy,
Oh, Christmas troy,</i>

369
00:20:58,292 --> 00:21:02,156
<i>Thou tree most fair and lovely.</i>

370
00:21:04,727 --> 00:21:05,727
Don't move.

371
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,121
This nose smells
like a special drink.