1
00:00:02,526 --> 00:00:04,959
I like the people I work
with, but I've always believed

2
00:00:04,993 --> 00:00:07,030
it's important to
keep your personal life

3
00:00:07,064 --> 00:00:08,433
separate from your
work life. Otherwise...

4
00:00:08,699 --> 00:00:11,066
So did you have sex with
that girl last night?

5
00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:13,168
Gee, that's totally your business.

6
00:00:13,202 --> 00:00:16,137
- But I'm trying to keep my personal life
- much more accessible to all of us?

7
00:00:16,171 --> 00:00:19,175
- That's good because thats what makes work interesting.
- I think work makes work interesting.

8
00:00:19,210 --> 00:00:22,512
Oh, God. No wonder she
wouldn't have sex with you.

9
00:00:22,546 --> 00:00:25,214
That... that wasn't...

10
00:00:25,248 --> 00:00:27,181
I was the one...

11
00:00:27,216 --> 00:00:29,817
- We both felt...
- You shoulda shown her that flustered thing.

12
00:00:29,851 --> 00:00:31,418
It woulda totally sealed it.

13
00:00:31,452 --> 00:00:34,822
No, I... I wasn't... yeah, that.

14
00:00:36,323 --> 00:00:38,591
Good morning, Lem.

15
00:00:38,625 --> 00:00:40,091
Whoa.

16
00:00:40,126 --> 00:00:41,926
What's with the red lab coat?

17
00:00:41,961 --> 00:00:43,661
I don't know.

18
00:00:43,695 --> 00:00:45,595
When I went to my locker this morning,

19
00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:47,564
instead of a freshly
laundered white lab coat,

20
00:00:47,598 --> 00:00:50,134
which is what's been in
my locker every morning

21
00:00:50,169 --> 00:00:52,537
for the last 11 years, there was this.

22
00:00:52,571 --> 00:00:55,206
Are all our lab coats red?

23
00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:59,077
No. Mine is still white.

24
00:00:59,112 --> 00:01:02,447
Okay. I am not angry. I just
need to know what's happening.

25
00:01:02,482 --> 00:01:04,182
I don't know.

26
00:01:04,216 --> 00:01:06,918
Well, change doesn't always
have to be bad, right?

27
00:01:06,953 --> 00:01:10,088
Remember when I stopped
doing that finger gun thing?

28
00:01:10,123 --> 00:01:11,857
Everyone liked that.

29
00:01:11,891 --> 00:01:13,993
Oh, my God. It's true.

30
00:01:14,027 --> 00:01:15,928
It's even redder than I imagined.

31
00:01:15,962 --> 00:01:17,930
And I imagined it quite red.

32
00:01:17,964 --> 00:01:19,665
What does it mean?

33
00:01:19,699 --> 00:01:22,334
- We don't know.
- You're lying!

34
00:01:22,369 --> 00:01:24,203
I'm sorry. It's the coat.

35
00:01:24,238 --> 00:01:26,238
Its differentness is
making me say things.

36
00:01:26,273 --> 00:01:28,541
That's it. We need answers.

37
00:01:28,575 --> 00:01:31,544
I've spent my entire
life trying to blend in.

38
00:01:31,578 --> 00:01:35,315
When I shaved off my fu manchu,
I thought I was there. Now this?

39
00:01:35,349 --> 00:01:37,250
I miss that fu manchu.

40
00:01:37,284 --> 00:01:40,220
Talk about pizzazz.

41
00:01:40,255 --> 00:01:43,623
So the testing results
were inconclusive.

42
00:01:43,658 --> 00:01:46,059
Usually that's what people
say when something tests badly,

43
00:01:46,094 --> 00:01:47,928
and this is a good example of that.

44
00:01:47,962 --> 00:01:49,830
Turns out developing
cheese that never spoils

45
00:01:49,864 --> 00:01:51,798
is harder than we thought.

46
00:01:51,833 --> 00:01:53,833
Right now, it's more of
a cheddar-colored fabric

47
00:01:53,868 --> 00:01:56,002
that does spoil.

48
00:01:56,036 --> 00:01:57,870
So we need you to talk to Chet

49
00:01:57,905 --> 00:02:00,038
and get him to push the deadline.

50
00:02:03,876 --> 00:02:05,777
Are you purring?

51
00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:09,214
Or growling?

52
00:02:09,248 --> 00:02:12,050
Oh, man. Are you gonna start
growling now when you're mad?

53
00:02:12,085 --> 00:02:14,186
Because that's gonna
be hard to adjust to.

54
00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:16,055
Veronica?

55
00:02:19,626 --> 00:02:21,761
Veronica.

56
00:02:21,795 --> 00:02:24,430
What? What is so damn important?

57
00:02:24,465 --> 00:02:26,199
Uh, you fell asleep.

58
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,667
Well, maybe you two are boring.
Did you ever think of that?

59
00:02:28,702 --> 00:02:32,004
Veronica has a very high-powered job.

60
00:02:32,039 --> 00:02:34,173
To blow off steam, she recently started

61
00:02:34,207 --> 00:02:36,041
a new, very exciting relationship

62
00:02:36,075 --> 00:02:38,510
with an extremely passionate
man with huge appetites

63
00:02:38,544 --> 00:02:40,011
named Mordor.

64
00:02:41,747 --> 00:02:44,215
He's also a world-class magician.

65
00:02:44,249 --> 00:02:46,217
Oh.

66
00:02:51,023 --> 00:02:52,490
Ahh.

67
00:02:52,524 --> 00:02:54,759
Unfortunately, this new relationship

68
00:02:54,793 --> 00:02:58,362
has made Veronica a
little distracted at work.

69
00:02:58,397 --> 00:03:00,531
Occupied.

70
00:03:03,135 --> 00:03:06,071
You know you're spreading
cream cheese on your iPhone?

71
00:03:06,105 --> 00:03:07,405
Oh.

72
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,441
Then where's my bagel?

73
00:03:11,410 --> 00:03:13,578
The relationship is very intense.

74
00:03:13,612 --> 00:03:16,614
This weekend, Mordor and
I are going scuba diving.

75
00:03:16,649 --> 00:03:18,749
Last weekend, we raced
cars in the desert

76
00:03:18,784 --> 00:03:21,151
and ate a rattlesnake...

77
00:03:21,186 --> 00:03:23,153
And a go that wandered into our camp

78
00:03:23,188 --> 00:03:25,789
and then a light salad.

79
00:03:25,823 --> 00:03:29,727
But mostly, we have sex...
hours and hours of it.

80
00:03:29,761 --> 00:03:31,662
Last weekend, I helped my daughter

81
00:03:31,697 --> 00:03:33,631
build a house of Legos.

82
00:03:33,666 --> 00:03:36,134
I know I've been a
little distracted lately,

83
00:03:36,169 --> 00:03:37,669
but I'll be fine.

84
00:03:37,704 --> 00:03:39,604
I'm just living an
exciting and full life...

85
00:03:39,639 --> 00:03:41,573
burning the candle at both ends,

86
00:03:41,607 --> 00:03:43,842
the way my great-grandfather,
a misunderstood candle maker,

87
00:03:43,876 --> 00:03:45,711
insisted candles should be burned.

88
00:03:48,382 --> 00:03:51,283
Whenever I have sex, I have
to be alert the next day

89
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:52,752
so I don't make mistakes.

90
00:03:52,786 --> 00:03:55,654
I have to be alert during
sex so I don't make mistakes.

91
00:03:55,689 --> 00:03:58,691
- Basically, I always have to be alert.
- Is it possible to make mistakes during sex,

92
00:03:58,725 --> 00:04:00,626
for a woman to make mistakes during sex?

93
00:04:00,660 --> 00:04:03,295
I'm on a very tight
deadline with this, Ted.

94
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:05,498
I need Veronica to focus.
You know her boyfriend.

95
00:04:05,532 --> 00:04:07,432
You should tell him to dial it down

96
00:04:07,466 --> 00:04:10,368
- so Veronica can do her job.
- Well, let's see. Would a guy welcome another guy

97
00:04:10,403 --> 00:04:12,871
telling him to have less
sex with his girlfriend?

98
00:04:12,905 --> 00:04:16,775
Yeah. That a normal thing
guys tell each other to do.

99
00:04:16,809 --> 00:04:18,777
So you think it's
okay for a relationship

100
00:04:18,811 --> 00:04:20,812
to be completely on the man's terms?

101
00:04:20,847 --> 00:04:24,149
- God, you'd be hard to go out with.
- H... I am fantastic to go out with.

102
00:04:24,184 --> 00:04:26,152
I... I'm thoughtful as a man can be

103
00:04:26,186 --> 00:04:28,955
while still pillaging like
a viking in the bedroom.

104
00:04:28,989 --> 00:04:31,491
But I am not getting involved
in Veronica's personal life.

105
00:04:31,525 --> 00:04:34,394
So my boss gets to have all
the sex-fun of a relationship

106
00:04:34,428 --> 00:04:36,897
while all the stress of being exhausted

107
00:04:36,931 --> 00:04:41,016
trickles down to me?
Man, capitalism blows.

108
00:04:41,017 --> 00:04:48,017
Sync by yescool - corrected by chamallow35
www.addic7ed.com

109
00:04:47,518 --> 00:04:49,119
We have a problem.

110
00:04:49,153 --> 00:04:51,288
- What's with the red lab coat?
- Exactly.

111
00:04:51,322 --> 00:04:53,691
The company wants me to wear it.
- Why?

112
00:04:53,725 --> 00:04:55,993
- Exactly.
- I called the laundry people.

113
00:04:56,027 --> 00:04:58,562
They said it was assigned to
me, but they don't know why.

114
00:04:58,596 --> 00:05:01,832
- The laundry people useless.
- Well, they do do laundry.

115
00:05:01,866 --> 00:05:03,866
You love the laundry people.

116
00:05:03,901 --> 00:05:05,668
You take their side in everything.

117
00:05:05,702 --> 00:05:08,337
First of all, I do
love the laundry people.

118
00:05:08,372 --> 00:05:10,973
Secondly, I'll look into the coat.

119
00:05:11,007 --> 00:05:13,476
In the meantime, maybe
it's not a bad thing.

120
00:05:13,510 --> 00:05:16,479
Maybe the company is singling you
out because you did something good.

121
00:05:16,514 --> 00:05:20,518
Maybe it's an honor.

122
00:05:20,552 --> 00:05:22,920
I did finish the super-fast
spy pigeon project

123
00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:26,157
- ahead of schedule. - I worked on
the super-fast spy pigeon project.

124
00:05:26,191 --> 00:05:28,326
I'm the one that made it wireless.

125
00:05:28,330 --> 00:05:30,928
Before me, it could only spy
on people right next to it.

126
00:05:30,962 --> 00:05:33,731
- Why didn't I get a red lab coat?
- I did more work than you.

127
00:05:33,765 --> 00:05:36,734
I was late one day because
my wife was choking.

128
00:05:36,768 --> 00:05:38,736
It's not fair!

129
00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:40,571
I'm penalized because my
wife eats breakfast fast.

130
00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:42,707
- She's hungry in the morning.
- He's here.

131
00:05:42,741 --> 00:05:44,709
- Oh, thank God.
- Who?

132
00:05:44,743 --> 00:05:47,578
- I don't care. It gets me out of this.
- Mordor. Veronica's boyfriend.

133
00:05:47,613 --> 00:05:51,082
He says he's surprising her
and taking her to lunch and sex.

134
00:05:51,116 --> 00:05:53,918
The man is relentless and very candid.

135
00:05:53,952 --> 00:05:56,754
Wow. Can you imagine
how great it would be

136
00:05:56,788 --> 00:05:59,657
to just take Veronica out
in the middle of the day

137
00:05:59,691 --> 00:06:01,125
and have lunch with her?

138
00:06:01,159 --> 00:06:04,228
You should try to aim
higher with your fantasies.

139
00:06:04,262 --> 00:06:06,797
Veronica is supposed to
meet with Chet this afternoon

140
00:06:06,831 --> 00:06:08,800
and get us that extension.

141
00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:10,869
What if she comes back
exhausted and purring?

142
00:06:10,903 --> 00:06:12,737
You're right.

143
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:15,073
All right. I'll go talk to Mordor.

144
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,642
The man lives a life of excess.

145
00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:19,678
Maybe I can sell him on
the exciting adventure

146
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:22,247
of having less sex with his
incredibly hot girlfriend.

147
00:06:22,281 --> 00:06:24,249
I may phrase it differently.

148
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:26,952
Hey, Mordor.

149
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,387
Hey, Ted.

150
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:31,289
Um, I need to talk to you

151
00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:33,892
- about something that's a little awkward.
- You have a crush on me.

152
00:06:33,926 --> 00:06:37,728
- What? No. What?
- Men often do, Ted. I find it's best to just get it out there.

153
00:06:37,763 --> 00:06:40,297
No, no. Th... this is about Veronica.

154
00:06:40,332 --> 00:06:42,533
See, she has a very high-pressure job.

155
00:06:42,567 --> 00:06:44,534
And she does it with 100% focus.

156
00:06:44,569 --> 00:06:47,337
Oh, she's the same in bed
or when dismembering a goat.

157
00:06:47,371 --> 00:06:50,407
Right. So you and the
other animals have seen it.

158
00:06:50,442 --> 00:06:51,876
The thing is,

159
00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:55,046
lately, she hasn't been
getting enough sleep...

160
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,883
Because she's with you...

161
00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,552
Doing things, things that are fun,

162
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:03,189
but, you know, tire a gal out.

163
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,058
Whoa. Wh...

164
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,492
A... are you suggesting

165
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:09,362
that sometimes when I'm with Veronica,

166
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:12,097
- I should... just let her go to sleep?
- Exactly.

167
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:14,199
And then have sex with her?

168
00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:16,134
I'm gonna start again.

169
00:07:16,168 --> 00:07:19,137
It would be good if you
had less sex with Veronica.

170
00:07:19,171 --> 00:07:20,838
The end.

171
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:36,921
Hey. What did you say to Mordor?

172
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,491
I did not tell him to
have sex with Veronica

173
00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:41,427
while she's sleeping.

174
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,030
- Why? What did he do?
- I walked into the supply closet,

175
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:46,733
and he was in there with
Ashley from accounting,

176
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,768
and they were not looking for supplies

177
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,237
unless she uses her ya-ha
to store office supplies

178
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:53,273
and uses his Yang-doodle
to look for things.

179
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:55,742
- That's what my mom calls it.
- All I said was maybe he should

180
00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:57,810
dial it down a little bit with Veronica.

181
00:07:57,845 --> 00:08:00,813
Well, he must have taken that
as a green light to fool around,

182
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:02,948
because was going at
that accounting chick

183
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,818
- like he wanted sparks to come out.
- Well, gee. Maybe it was a mistake

184
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:07,820
to get involved in
Veronica's personal life.

185
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:09,888
Oh, don't be that guy
who points fingers.

186
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,456
No one likes a pointer.

187
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,726
Even in the dog world,
they're seen as insufferable.

188
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,796
- Veronica needs to know what's going on.
- Oh, no, no, no. She doesn't need to know.

189
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,298
No one needs to know.

190
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,533
In fact, you should forget.
And I... I will, too.

191
00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:23,667
- Forget what? - I don't even remember. - It's
happening in the office. She's gonna find out.

192
00:08:23,701 --> 00:08:26,302
Better from you than from office gossip.

193
00:08:26,337 --> 00:08:29,005
Me? You mean the... the person
who didn't want to get involved

194
00:08:29,039 --> 00:08:32,107
- in this in the first place?
- I can't believe you're still bringing that up.

195
00:08:32,142 --> 00:08:35,443
You've really got a stick up
your boodle-doodle about that.

196
00:08:39,981 --> 00:08:42,349
Veronica.

197
00:08:42,383 --> 00:08:44,717
We need to talk.

198
00:08:44,752 --> 00:08:46,185
Veronica.

199
00:08:46,220 --> 00:08:48,420
What? Oh, Ted.

200
00:08:48,455 --> 00:08:51,357
I was having the best
dream about Mordor.

201
00:08:51,391 --> 00:08:54,492
He makes me so happy.

202
00:08:54,527 --> 00:08:56,394
I feel free and untethered,

203
00:08:56,428 --> 00:08:59,030
like a spy pigeon without a wire.

204
00:08:59,064 --> 00:09:00,698
So what's up?

205
00:09:04,268 --> 00:09:06,369
The red lab coat.

206
00:09:06,404 --> 00:09:09,906
- The guys were wondering what it means.
- Well, you can't tell them,

207
00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:11,941
but it has no meaning whatsoever.

208
00:09:11,976 --> 00:09:14,343
- It was given out randomly.
- Why?

209
00:09:14,377 --> 00:09:16,778
The company commissioned a study
which showed that any change

210
00:09:16,813 --> 00:09:18,513
in the work environment
increases productivity.

211
00:09:18,548 --> 00:09:21,616
- Any change, it doesn't matter what.
- That's crazy.

212
00:09:21,650 --> 00:09:23,384
Giving one person a different lab coat

213
00:09:23,419 --> 00:09:25,486
can't possibly make
everybody work harder.

214
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:28,723
- I am so going to win that coat tomorrow.
- Oh, no, you're not,

215
00:09:28,757 --> 00:09:31,125
because I'm working faster
and more efficiently than ever.

216
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,060
So the painted stripe
that appeared suddenly

217
00:09:33,095 --> 00:09:36,163
- in the hallway last week?
- You mean two days before quarterly reports were due,

218
00:09:36,197 --> 00:09:38,732
all of which were turned in early?

219
00:09:38,766 --> 00:09:40,200
And the drinking fountain

220
00:09:40,234 --> 00:09:42,235
that just stopped working for no reason?

221
00:09:42,269 --> 00:09:45,071
That was broken, Ted. God,
you people are paranoid.

222
00:09:45,105 --> 00:09:47,574
No wonder the company has
to secretly manipulate you.

223
00:09:47,608 --> 00:09:50,276
So... is there anything else?

224
00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:51,377
Nope.

225
00:09:55,983 --> 00:09:59,552
- Mordor is having an affair with somebody in the office.
- What?

226
00:09:59,586 --> 00:10:02,154
Someone walked in on
them in the supply room,

227
00:10:02,188 --> 00:10:04,757
and I thought I should
tell you, Veronica.

228
00:10:04,791 --> 00:10:07,359
I'm sorry. But why?
Why would he do this?

229
00:10:07,393 --> 00:10:09,827
It's not like he's not
getting enough from me.

230
00:10:09,862 --> 00:10:13,130
Well, who knows why people
do what they do, you know?

231
00:10:13,165 --> 00:10:15,032
The important thing
is not to blame anyone

232
00:10:15,067 --> 00:10:16,901
or look for answers, really.

233
00:10:16,935 --> 00:10:19,136
Some things just shouldn't be probed.

234
00:10:19,204 --> 00:10:22,572
There's an unfortunate choice of words.

235
00:10:22,607 --> 00:10:25,008
I rambled on like that for ten minutes,

236
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:26,442
somehow using the words

237
00:10:26,477 --> 00:10:29,045
"thrust," "prod," "rigid" and "impale."

238
00:10:29,079 --> 00:10:30,747
All comforting terms.

239
00:10:30,781 --> 00:10:33,417
Well, it's good she knows about Mordor.

240
00:10:33,451 --> 00:10:36,153
If it were me, I'd want
to know. Is she okay?

241
00:10:36,188 --> 00:10:38,690
I think so. They haven't
been together that long,

242
00:10:38,724 --> 00:10:40,292
and she's pretty tough.

243
00:10:40,326 --> 00:10:42,561
So I'm guessing they're gonna be okay.

244
00:10:42,596 --> 00:10:44,730
Hey, scuba girl. You ready to go?

245
00:10:44,764 --> 00:10:46,833
You shot me!

246
00:10:46,867 --> 00:10:48,902
I'm sorry. It was an accident.

247
00:10:49,471 --> 00:10:52,766
Although... who's Ashley?

248
00:10:54,844 --> 00:10:56,511
I don't know what happened.

249
00:10:56,546 --> 00:10:59,417
I was packing up the
speargun, and it just went off.

250
00:10:59,418 --> 00:11:01,981
- So it was an accident.
- Of course it was an accident.

251
00:11:02,352 --> 00:11:04,453
Although, the man was cheating on me,

252
00:11:04,487 --> 00:11:06,254
and my subconscious is very protective,

253
00:11:06,289 --> 00:11:08,490
and sometimes, kind of a douche.

254
00:11:08,524 --> 00:11:11,625
- I'm so angry, Ted.
- You have every right to be.

255
00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:14,796
- I'm angry at you.
- You have no right to be.

256
00:11:14,830 --> 00:11:17,098
Why did you tell me
Mordor was cheating on me?

257
00:11:17,132 --> 00:11:19,167
I... I thought you'd want to know.

258
00:11:19,201 --> 00:11:20,668
Linda would want to know.

259
00:11:20,703 --> 00:11:22,704
Well, of course I'd want to know,

260
00:11:22,738 --> 00:11:24,739
but not when there's a speargun

261
00:11:24,773 --> 00:11:26,841
sitting 3 feet away from me
and my douchey subconscious.

262
00:11:26,942 --> 00:11:28,742
- What were you thinking?
- Ms. Palmer?

263
00:11:28,777 --> 00:11:32,045
- Yes.
- He's out of surgery, and 'll fine.

264
00:11:34,182 --> 00:11:37,684
However, we could not save the spear.

265
00:11:37,719 --> 00:11:39,153
Old joke.

266
00:11:39,187 --> 00:11:41,689
I use it with all the family
of loved ones who survive.

267
00:11:41,723 --> 00:11:43,023
Don't anymore.

268
00:11:43,058 --> 00:11:45,759
Now I have to break up with him,

269
00:11:45,794 --> 00:11:48,462
which is gonna be that much harder

270
00:11:48,496 --> 00:11:50,497
since I just shot him.

271
00:11:50,531 --> 00:11:52,966
Look what you made me do.

272
00:11:54,735 --> 00:11:56,136
Sorry I'm late.

273
00:11:56,170 --> 00:11:59,172
I'm trying to get my wife
to eat slower in the morning.

274
00:11:59,206 --> 00:12:00,873
It's a project.

275
00:12:00,908 --> 00:12:04,343
- What happened to your red lab coat?
- Wasn't in my locker this morning.

276
00:12:04,377 --> 00:12:07,579
I don't get it. You
worked so hard yesterday.

277
00:12:07,614 --> 00:12:10,682
But then, so did I.

278
00:12:13,019 --> 00:12:14,920
Oh. Now I'm sad again.

279
00:12:14,954 --> 00:12:16,955
Morning, ladies.

280
00:12:17,023 --> 00:12:19,691
Notice anything redder about me?

281
00:12:19,726 --> 00:12:23,729
I am literally shaking
with jealousy. Get out!

282
00:12:23,764 --> 00:12:27,233
I don't want the coat to
see me like this. No, wait.

283
00:12:27,267 --> 00:12:29,268
Let me touch it. No, no.

284
00:12:29,303 --> 00:12:30,737
Wait.

285
00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:34,408
Your call.

286
00:12:37,512 --> 00:12:38,613
Ted.

287
00:12:38,647 --> 00:12:41,149
I've been thinking about
how I behaved last night,

288
00:12:41,183 --> 00:12:43,117
and I've realized, it wasn't your fault

289
00:12:43,152 --> 00:12:45,186
that Mordor somehow got himself sh.

290
00:12:45,221 --> 00:12:46,888
And so I'd like to apologize.

291
00:12:46,922 --> 00:12:48,323
Oh, that's okay.

292
00:12:48,357 --> 00:12:50,325
I'm just glad you're rid of him.

293
00:12:50,359 --> 00:12:52,093
Um, that guy was a
self-absorbed dill-hole.

294
00:12:52,127 --> 00:12:56,029
- Ted...
- "Ooh, I'm Mordor. I think all men are in love with me."

295
00:12:56,064 --> 00:12:58,131
I mean, seriously, what a doofus.

296
00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:00,400
We made up.

297
00:13:00,434 --> 00:13:01,868
Oh, good,

298
00:13:01,902 --> 00:13:05,371
'cause now I can stop
pretending I don't like him.

299
00:13:05,406 --> 00:13:07,874
He had an affair, and I shot him.

300
00:13:07,909 --> 00:13:10,077
So we decided to call it even.

301
00:13:10,111 --> 00:13:12,279
Plus, I found out why he did it.

302
00:13:12,314 --> 00:13:14,215
Apparently somebody
suggested that he ease up

303
00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:16,785
- on our relationship.
- Well, I didn't mean for him to...

304
00:13:16,819 --> 00:13:19,421
It was you?

305
00:13:20,824 --> 00:13:22,425
What was me?

306
00:13:22,459 --> 00:13:23,893
My God, Ted.

307
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,863
You don't tell a man like
Mordor to be less passionate.

308
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,831
It's like telling Gandhi to be less...

309
00:13:28,866 --> 00:13:31,935
- Whatever he was... thin.
- You weren't getting your job done.

310
00:13:31,969 --> 00:13:34,937
You... you were falling asleep
at work with your eyes open.

311
00:13:34,971 --> 00:13:36,939
What... what if they dried out?

312
00:13:36,974 --> 00:13:38,874
They would've lost their luster.

313
00:13:38,909 --> 00:13:40,943
I was worried about your luster.

314
00:13:40,977 --> 00:13:44,647
I don't need you or anyone
else interfering in my life.

315
00:13:44,681 --> 00:13:46,949
You're responsible for my boyfriend
screwing around. You're the one who shot him.

316
00:13:46,983 --> 00:13:50,151
In my mind.

317
00:13:50,186 --> 00:13:52,221
And then you call him a dill-hole

318
00:13:52,255 --> 00:13:54,156
right to his face.

319
00:13:54,190 --> 00:13:56,592
- No, I...
- In my mind.

320
00:13:56,626 --> 00:13:58,561
I think you and I need a
little distance from each other.

321
00:13:58,595 --> 00:14:01,463
That's a good idea.
I'll go to my office.

322
00:14:01,498 --> 00:14:04,767
Actually, I was thinking
a little more distance.

323
00:14:06,036 --> 00:14:10,906
And so Veronica sent me down
to the ridiculously tiny office.

324
00:14:18,815 --> 00:14:20,082
Ah.

325
00:14:33,162 --> 00:14:34,929
Whoa!

326
00:14:34,964 --> 00:14:37,165
Hi, Ted.

327
00:14:37,199 --> 00:14:38,900
Phil.

328
00:14:38,935 --> 00:14:40,902
Hi, Ted.

329
00:14:40,936 --> 00:14:42,704
Lem.

330
00:14:44,507 --> 00:14:46,575
This is not as bad as I imagined.

331
00:14:46,609 --> 00:14:49,444
It makes your chair and desk
look gigantic, which is cool.

332
00:14:49,478 --> 00:14:52,414
Plus, it would be impossible
to lose anything in here.

333
00:14:52,448 --> 00:14:55,784
No, it's all great.
So what's up, fellas?

334
00:14:55,818 --> 00:14:58,587
'Cause I'm pretty busy
getting into my chair.

335
00:14:58,621 --> 00:15:00,222
We're... unhappy about something.

336
00:15:00,256 --> 00:15:01,824
Is this about the coat?

337
00:15:01,858 --> 00:15:04,193
I worked my ass off
yesterday to get that thing.

338
00:15:04,228 --> 00:15:06,629
I can't tell you
exactly what's going on.

339
00:15:06,663 --> 00:15:09,465
I'm in enough trouble as it is with
Veronica. But the coat may not be

340
00:15:09,499 --> 00:15:11,400
something you want to
work extra hard to get.

341
00:15:11,434 --> 00:15:15,370
Yeah, but it's... it's so beautiful.

342
00:15:15,405 --> 00:15:17,239
Only because you think it means
something, which it may not.

343
00:15:17,273 --> 00:15:20,575
I think I know what's going on.

344
00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:23,679
- We're confused.
- That's exactly what's happening.

345
00:15:23,713 --> 00:15:26,114
Oh, Ted.

346
00:15:26,149 --> 00:15:28,617
I can't believe you trashed
Veronica's boyfriend.

347
00:15:28,651 --> 00:15:30,586
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Linda.

348
00:15:30,620 --> 00:15:33,388
You never trash the boyfriend.
What if they get back together?

349
00:15:33,422 --> 00:15:36,158
I don't care anymore. I'm out.

350
00:15:36,192 --> 00:15:39,028
I am done getting in the middle
of Veronica's relationship.

351
00:15:39,062 --> 00:15:40,562
Because believe it or not,

352
00:15:40,597 --> 00:15:42,364
there's an office smaller than this,
and you have to share it with someone.

353
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:44,934
Well, you should be out, because clearly
you don't know anything about relationships.

354
00:15:44,968 --> 00:15:48,471
I don't know anything
about relationships?

355
00:15:48,505 --> 00:15:51,174
It... what... it's because of
your relationship geniusness

356
00:15:51,209 --> 00:15:53,543
- that I'm stuck in Polly pocket's house.
- We should go.

357
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,713
- We want to go.
- Thanks to me? I never told you

358
00:15:55,747 --> 00:15:59,250
- to tell Veronica that her boyfriend sucks.
- I wouldn't have kept talking about her sucky boyfriend

359
00:15:59,284 --> 00:16:03,088
- if you hadn't kept bringing him up.
- I had to bring it up, because you think

360
00:16:03,122 --> 00:16:05,958
relationships are all
about what the guy wants.

361
00:16:05,992 --> 00:16:07,493
And by the way, genius,

362
00:16:07,527 --> 00:16:10,095
Polly pockets doesn't live in a house.

363
00:16:10,130 --> 00:16:12,398
- She lives in a clamshell!
- I know where she lives.

364
00:16:12,432 --> 00:16:14,900
Oh, really? Because
I think you know less

365
00:16:14,935 --> 00:16:16,802
about Polly pockets than
you do about relationships.

366
00:16:16,837 --> 00:16:18,503
That's better.

367
00:16:18,538 --> 00:16:22,174
So if the coat's not a reward
for doing something good,

368
00:16:22,208 --> 00:16:25,177
then that must mean... it's a
punishment for doing something bad.

369
00:16:25,211 --> 00:16:27,112
It's like a Scarlet
letter. Only it's worse,

370
00:16:27,147 --> 00:16:29,915
because it covers the
whole body in shame.

371
00:16:29,950 --> 00:16:33,385
- So why'd the company give it to me?
- You did break

372
00:16:33,419 --> 00:16:35,687
the dieoxolater defibulation
splung manifold last week,

373
00:16:35,721 --> 00:16:39,390
- and that sucka is expensive.
- If only I hadn't tried to protect my eyes when it burst,

374
00:16:39,425 --> 00:16:41,959
I might have been able to save it.

375
00:16:41,994 --> 00:16:43,594
Stupid reflexes.

376
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:45,262
The next morning,

377
00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:48,164
I checked in with Veronica
to see if I could come back.

378
00:16:48,199 --> 00:16:49,633
Good morning, sunshine.

379
00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:51,769
Not yet.

380
00:16:53,672 --> 00:16:55,640
And in the lab...

381
00:16:55,675 --> 00:16:57,876
Uh-oh.

382
00:16:57,910 --> 00:17:00,445
It was in my locker this morning.

383
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:05,484
I worked so hard yesterday
to avoid this exact thing.

384
00:17:05,518 --> 00:17:07,819
All we can do is buckle down

385
00:17:07,854 --> 00:17:11,689
and push ourselves even harder.

386
00:17:11,724 --> 00:17:13,557
I hope Veronica forgives me soon,

387
00:17:13,591 --> 00:17:17,261
because I really like doing this...

388
00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:19,563
Which I totally took for granted before.

389
00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:23,733
What the hell?

390
00:17:23,768 --> 00:17:26,503
Ted, wh... I... I thought you
were working out of the basement.

391
00:17:26,537 --> 00:17:30,006
- Well, I'm getting some papers. What are you doing?
- Well, well, this is, um...

392
00:17:30,041 --> 00:17:32,275
Tiffany.

393
00:17:32,309 --> 00:17:34,878
Thank you. See, I figured it out.

394
00:17:34,912 --> 00:17:36,813
I hurt Veronica by fooling around,

395
00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,548
but then she hurt me
back with a speargun,

396
00:17:38,583 --> 00:17:40,817
and that reset the relationship.

397
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:44,053
So I can fool around again
as long as I'm willing

398
00:17:44,088 --> 00:17:46,256
to let Veronica hurt
me again, which I am,

399
00:17:46,290 --> 00:17:49,393
'cause I like promiscuous sex
far more than I dislike pain.

400
00:17:49,427 --> 00:17:51,428
You know, I didn't want to get involved

401
00:17:51,463 --> 00:17:52,864
in Veronica's personal life,

402
00:17:52,898 --> 00:17:56,267
but now I'm glad I did,
because you don't deserve her.

403
00:17:56,301 --> 00:17:58,236
She is smart and... and
beautiful and confident...

404
00:17:58,270 --> 00:18:00,038
Wildly fun in bed...

405
00:18:00,072 --> 00:18:02,340
Yeah, I've been there.
She is the whole package.

406
00:18:02,375 --> 00:18:04,243
And you're just a jerk.

407
00:18:04,277 --> 00:18:06,212
And, yes, a mammoth dill-hole.

408
00:18:06,246 --> 00:18:08,581
All right, Ted. Let's go.

409
00:18:08,615 --> 00:18:10,216
You started this whole thing,

410
00:18:10,250 --> 00:18:12,518
and now you insult me
in front of Tiffany.

411
00:18:12,553 --> 00:18:15,354
- Let's get this over with.
- I'm not gonna fight you, you loon.

412
00:18:15,388 --> 00:18:19,425
Loon? Could a loon do this?

413
00:18:19,460 --> 00:18:21,094
Hmm?

414
00:18:24,632 --> 00:18:26,466
I think a loon would do exactly that.

415
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,568
It's called
quad-dela-ron-sha.

416
00:18:30,070 --> 00:18:32,005
It's an ancient Peruvian martial art

417
00:18:32,039 --> 00:18:33,806
involving forceful
and repeated slapping.

418
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,775
I'm not gonna fight you.

419
00:18:38,878 --> 00:18:40,879
Okay, wait. Yes, I'll fight you.

420
00:18:40,913 --> 00:18:42,847
Ouch! What the hell?

421
00:18:42,881 --> 00:18:45,349
It's like you have a hundred fingers.

422
00:18:47,352 --> 00:18:50,182
God, Tiffany, go get help!

424
00:18:59,270 --> 00:19:01,238
It's why Peru was never conquered.

425
00:19:01,272 --> 00:19:03,006
Didn't the Spanish conquer Peru?

426
00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:05,075
Yes, but then they left quickly.

427
00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:06,543
In fact,
quad-dela-ron-sha

428
00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:09,012
means "leave, or we'll
start with the slapping."

429
00:19:09,046 --> 00:19:11,848
Did Mordor tell you this?
'Cause it's not on Google.

430
00:19:11,882 --> 00:19:14,350
Maybe that was also a lie.

431
00:19:14,384 --> 00:19:16,686
Oh, I'm through with him, Ted.

432
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:20,022
Listen, I'm sorry about everything.

433
00:19:20,057 --> 00:19:22,225
Ted, you stood up for me.

434
00:19:22,259 --> 00:19:25,362
No one's ever done that before.

435
00:19:26,898 --> 00:19:29,767
Thank you.

436
00:19:29,801 --> 00:19:32,871
Maybe it's impossible to
keep your personal life

437
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:35,274
completely separate from work,

438
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:38,510
especially when you care about
the people you work with...

439
00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:41,280
And they care about you.

440
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:43,014
Is he all right?

441
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:44,416
He's great.

442
00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:46,551
I can't believe he fought
to defend your honor.

443
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,119
- That is so...
- Hot?

444
00:19:48,154 --> 00:19:51,557
- Actually, yeah.
- It kind of is.

445
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:54,860
And I told him he didn't know
anything about relationships.

446
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:58,731
He may not, but he'd
sure be good in one.

447
00:20:07,241 --> 00:20:11,111
What have I done?!

448
00:20:11,145 --> 00:20:14,114
And since I do care about
the people I work with,

449
00:20:14,148 --> 00:20:16,917
I decided to end their suffering.

450
00:20:18,753 --> 00:20:20,621
Since any change helps productivity,

451
00:20:20,655 --> 00:20:22,956
why not make it a positive change

452
00:20:22,991 --> 00:20:26,560
and do something people
can feel good about?

453
00:20:29,797 --> 00:20:31,798
What does it mean?

454
00:20:31,832 --> 00:20:33,800
Maybe we've been asking
too many questions.

455
00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:35,968
Maybe this is the company's equivalent

456
00:20:36,003 --> 00:20:37,837
of sending a dead fish.

457
00:20:37,838 --> 00:20:45,937
Sync by YesCool - corrected by chamallow35
www.addic7ed.com