1 00:00:02,541 --> 00:00:04,175 welcome back! 2 00:00:04,243 --> 00:00:06,977 - Hi. - Hello. 3 00:00:07,045 --> 00:00:08,379 What did you do over break? - Hi. 4 00:00:08,446 --> 00:00:09,646 - Oh, it was so awesome. 5 00:00:09,714 --> 00:00:10,779 Me and abed played this video game. 6 00:00:10,847 --> 00:00:12,741 It is so dope. It's a whole city. 7 00:00:12,808 --> 00:00:14,296 - You can drive anywhere. - You can rent an apartment. 8 00:00:14,364 --> 00:00:15,324 - You could do your taxes. - But don't get audited 9 00:00:15,392 --> 00:00:16,554 'cause that's bad. 10 00:00:16,622 --> 00:00:17,852 - You could even enroll in community college. 11 00:00:17,915 --> 00:00:20,377 - Right now it sounds as boring as real life, 12 00:00:20,445 --> 00:00:21,777 But it is not. 13 00:00:21,844 --> 00:00:23,939 - Vacations are wasted on the young. 14 00:00:24,006 --> 00:00:26,638 You guys gotta get out there and see the world at some point 15 00:00:26,705 --> 00:00:28,967 Or you're gonna miss your entire lives. 16 00:00:29,035 --> 00:00:31,233 - Where did you go, britta? - Amsterdam, I think. 17 00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:32,932 I'll know more when I find my camera. 18 00:00:32,999 --> 00:00:35,198 - Guess what happened to me. 19 00:00:35,266 --> 00:00:37,862 - Oh, pierce, you became a grandfather? 20 00:00:37,929 --> 00:00:39,529 - No, I became even cooler. 21 00:00:39,596 --> 00:00:41,629 These ironic tee shirts are all the rage. 22 00:00:43,196 --> 00:00:44,861 - Let's get one thing straight. 23 00:00:44,929 --> 00:00:46,162 I wish I was still a lawyer. 24 00:00:46,229 --> 00:00:47,895 I'm only here because I'm hot for britta, 25 00:00:47,963 --> 00:00:51,397 And I don't want to be anybody's friend. 26 00:00:51,465 --> 00:00:53,064 Just kidding. 27 00:00:53,132 --> 00:00:55,700 Bring it in here, ya knuckleheads! 28 00:00:58,637 --> 00:01:01,036 You know, I gotta say I took a look back 29 00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:02,838 At the guy I was last semester, 30 00:01:02,904 --> 00:01:05,704 And I realized that guy was a drag. 31 00:01:05,772 --> 00:01:07,038 - No... - Aww... 32 00:01:07,106 --> 00:01:08,539 - Good to hear you admit it, jeff. 33 00:01:08,607 --> 00:01:10,140 - No, the truth is this is a new semester, 34 00:01:10,207 --> 00:01:11,507 A new jeff. 35 00:01:11,575 --> 00:01:13,007 Greendale is where I am, 36 00:01:13,075 --> 00:01:14,808 And I am gonna make the best of it. 37 00:01:14,876 --> 00:01:15,908 - That is nice. 38 00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:17,043 - You're like hawkeye on m.A.S.H. 39 00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:18,210 He kept his upbeat humor and charm 40 00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:20,644 Even in the 11th year of the korean war. 41 00:01:20,712 --> 00:01:22,045 - Yeah, well, don't go changing too much, jeff. 42 00:01:22,112 --> 00:01:24,747 I think we all like you just the way you were. 43 00:01:24,814 --> 00:01:27,748 - Well, I appreciate that, but-- 44 00:01:27,816 --> 00:01:28,982 Did you just teleport here? 45 00:01:29,050 --> 00:01:33,418 - No, I snuck in during the group hug. 46 00:01:33,486 --> 00:01:35,319 You guys don't remember me? 47 00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:37,754 Buddy...From spanish class? 48 00:01:39,656 --> 00:01:41,322 - I've never seen you before in my life. 49 00:01:43,324 --> 00:01:44,791 - I've seen buddy before. 50 00:01:44,858 --> 00:01:46,424 He sits in the corner next to the dead plant. 51 00:01:46,492 --> 00:01:47,925 - Thank you, abed. 52 00:01:47,993 --> 00:01:50,393 Sometimes I have a tendency to melt into the background. 53 00:01:50,461 --> 00:01:51,661 It's just my body type. 54 00:01:51,729 --> 00:01:53,595 But I definitely know you guys 55 00:01:53,663 --> 00:01:56,897 From watching you all last semester grow together. 56 00:01:58,799 --> 00:02:00,932 - "f." "f"-minus. 57 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,000 - Did you say "s"? 58 00:02:03,068 --> 00:02:04,802 - He said "f." 59 00:02:04,869 --> 00:02:08,171 - Who cheated? - I did it. 60 00:02:08,238 --> 00:02:12,107 - Britta cheated? But why? 61 00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,408 - Gimme back my bra, annie. 62 00:02:14,476 --> 00:02:17,311 - I'm not even wearing a bra. - Oh! 63 00:02:20,815 --> 00:02:22,980 - I don't even care who wins. 64 00:02:23,048 --> 00:02:24,448 - What? 65 00:02:24,516 --> 00:02:25,716 - I sleep a lot in class. 66 00:02:25,783 --> 00:02:26,850 That one might have been a dream. 67 00:02:26,918 --> 00:02:28,951 - Well, buddy, as you know, 68 00:02:29,019 --> 00:02:30,552 We haven't had spanish class yet. 69 00:02:30,620 --> 00:02:32,153 So this meeting was more just for catching up... 70 00:02:32,221 --> 00:02:33,488 Between friends. 71 00:02:33,555 --> 00:02:37,757 - I heard that. Let's do it! 72 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:40,725 - Well-- - so--sorry, britta. 73 00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:42,191 I'll go first. 74 00:02:42,259 --> 00:02:45,660 Uh, I'm sure you guys have a natural rapport and timing, 75 00:02:45,728 --> 00:02:48,729 And, you know, you're scared that adding a new member 76 00:02:48,797 --> 00:02:51,097 Might throw everything off of its natural... 77 00:02:51,165 --> 00:02:57,435 - ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪ 78 00:02:59,271 --> 00:03:00,304 - ...Rhythm. 79 00:03:00,371 --> 00:03:02,072 I feel like I know you guys already. 80 00:03:02,139 --> 00:03:04,373 So you know, let me in. Just tell me the rules, 81 00:03:04,441 --> 00:03:05,941 And I will follow. 82 00:03:06,008 --> 00:03:08,342 - Well, you already broke the only rule I have. 83 00:03:08,410 --> 00:03:10,310 The rule about worrying about rules. 84 00:03:10,378 --> 00:03:13,179 - That's what I'm saying too! 85 00:03:13,247 --> 00:03:14,446 Yeah! 86 00:03:14,514 --> 00:03:16,448 ♪ spanish studyin' is better ♪ 87 00:03:16,516 --> 00:03:18,550 ♪ when you're buddyin' ♪ 88 00:03:18,617 --> 00:03:26,422 ♪ around, yeah ♪ 89 00:03:32,527 --> 00:03:34,795 - Excuse me, I received a text message 90 00:03:34,862 --> 00:03:36,529 About free sephora samples. 91 00:03:36,597 --> 00:03:38,764 - Ha ha! It was me. 92 00:03:38,832 --> 00:03:41,766 Sorry about the ruse, but I have something better 93 00:03:41,834 --> 00:03:44,968 Than exfoliating soap to rub on you. 94 00:03:45,036 --> 00:03:48,004 An opportunity. Mm. 95 00:03:48,072 --> 00:03:50,240 As you can see, I am resurrecting 96 00:03:50,307 --> 00:03:52,642 The greendale gazette journal mirror! 97 00:03:52,709 --> 00:03:54,309 And we need a student editor. 98 00:03:54,377 --> 00:03:56,210 Someone with real world savvy 99 00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:58,012 That extends beyond how to huff the ink. 100 00:03:58,079 --> 00:04:00,146 - Actually, dean, I'm resolved to spend this semester 101 00:04:00,214 --> 00:04:01,314 Being more... 102 00:04:01,382 --> 00:04:03,582 - This would be your office. 103 00:04:03,650 --> 00:04:08,185 - Relaxed...And awesome. 104 00:04:08,253 --> 00:04:09,653 This is the first desk I've seen in six months 105 00:04:09,721 --> 00:04:11,488 That doesn't have "zeppelin rules" carved into it. 106 00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,156 - And you get an english credit. 107 00:04:13,223 --> 00:04:15,491 - Well, that ain't bad neither. I'm in. 108 00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:19,361 - Guys, meet your new editor! 109 00:04:19,429 --> 00:04:21,362 Mr. Winger is very excited to help you bring a voice 110 00:04:21,430 --> 00:04:22,697 Back to the campus. 111 00:04:22,765 --> 00:04:25,666 - Jeff, I need to take your picture. 112 00:04:25,734 --> 00:04:27,201 - We got it. - Okay. 113 00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:29,769 You guys knock yourselves out! 114 00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:31,938 - This is my article on the school's new water heater. 115 00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:34,407 - You got chops, kid, but we need your talent 116 00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:36,175 On a bigger story. 117 00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:38,977 Pizza wars--who's got the best slice in town? 118 00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:41,212 Start with big nick's. Bring us a large, with sausage. 119 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:44,215 You. I heard a rumor that riley's liquor is 120 00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:45,416 Selling to underage students. 121 00:04:45,484 --> 00:04:47,418 I need an undercover expose. 122 00:04:47,486 --> 00:04:49,219 Find out how much they'll sell you 123 00:04:49,287 --> 00:04:50,520 Of anything cold and imported. 124 00:04:50,588 --> 00:04:53,223 - You expect me to watch you do that 125 00:04:53,291 --> 00:04:54,424 Without telling on you? 126 00:04:54,492 --> 00:04:56,459 - That's a hard-hitting question, annie. 127 00:04:56,527 --> 00:04:57,727 Are you a reporter? 128 00:04:57,795 --> 00:04:59,528 - No, they've got me editing the crossword 129 00:04:59,596 --> 00:05:00,796 Because I'm a girl. 130 00:05:00,864 --> 00:05:02,131 And because I love crosswords. 131 00:05:02,198 --> 00:05:03,966 - Well, now you love the streets. 132 00:05:04,034 --> 00:05:05,534 You're my ace news hound. 133 00:05:05,602 --> 00:05:06,902 - Ace? You can do that? 134 00:05:06,970 --> 00:05:09,371 - We can do anything we want. It's greendale. 135 00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:12,407 Now go find me that story. 136 00:05:12,475 --> 00:05:15,109 - This character reboot is really gelling for you, jeff. 137 00:05:15,177 --> 00:05:16,310 That was all classic hawkeye. 138 00:05:16,378 --> 00:05:17,678 Sending soldiers out for liquor. 139 00:05:17,746 --> 00:05:19,780 Slyly sidestepping the problematic scrutiny 140 00:05:19,847 --> 00:05:22,015 Of annie "hot lips" edison. 141 00:05:22,083 --> 00:05:24,417 I should build you a still for making hawkeye martinis. 142 00:05:24,484 --> 00:05:26,752 - Of all your pop culture fixations, 143 00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:28,721 This is one I can work with, abed. 144 00:05:28,788 --> 00:05:31,623 - Call me radar. - When you've earned it. 145 00:05:31,691 --> 00:05:35,093 Now, I know the news of senor chang's death 146 00:05:35,161 --> 00:05:37,495 Over winter break was a shock to us all. 147 00:05:37,563 --> 00:05:40,531 But we should take comfort in the fact 148 00:05:40,599 --> 00:05:42,166 That he did not suffer 149 00:05:42,234 --> 00:05:44,235 When his moped hit the side of that arby's. 150 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,103 - So sad. 151 00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:48,806 But best semester ever. 152 00:05:51,676 --> 00:05:54,343 Feliz ano nueva, chicas! 153 00:05:54,411 --> 00:05:58,112 beat it. All right. 154 00:05:58,180 --> 00:05:59,347 That was a professional actress. 155 00:05:59,414 --> 00:06:03,817 I am a man who can never die. 156 00:06:03,885 --> 00:06:05,452 And this has been your first taste 157 00:06:05,519 --> 00:06:07,019 Of spanish 1-0- dos-- 158 00:06:07,087 --> 00:06:11,757 The semester I get inside your cabesas! 159 00:06:22,333 --> 00:06:30,839 ♪ ♪ 160 00:06:30,906 --> 00:06:33,274 - I saw that coming. 161 00:06:33,342 --> 00:06:35,843 - Hey, guys, see you in study group. 162 00:06:35,910 --> 00:06:38,011 Hoo-ah! 163 00:06:38,079 --> 00:06:39,480 Ah! 164 00:06:39,547 --> 00:06:43,484 - Uh, jeff, can he really just decide he's one of us? 165 00:06:43,552 --> 00:06:45,219 - He throws off our balance. 166 00:06:45,287 --> 00:06:47,154 We've got three chicks, three dudes, 167 00:06:47,222 --> 00:06:48,822 And now two weirdos. 168 00:06:48,890 --> 00:06:50,256 Sorry, abed. 169 00:06:50,324 --> 00:06:51,591 - Not all weirdos are bad. 170 00:06:51,659 --> 00:06:52,925 But he might be a puckish agent of change 171 00:06:52,993 --> 00:06:53,993 That changes our lives for the better 172 00:06:54,060 --> 00:06:54,993 Through a musical montage. 173 00:06:55,061 --> 00:06:56,461 - Or he could have a row of jars 174 00:06:56,529 --> 00:06:57,696 Waiting for our genitals. 175 00:06:57,763 --> 00:06:59,363 - Yo, I need my genitals. 176 00:06:59,431 --> 00:07:01,532 - You know who you guys sound like? 177 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,233 Me, from last semester. 178 00:07:03,301 --> 00:07:05,402 Cynical, elitist, 179 00:07:05,470 --> 00:07:07,270 Rakishly good-looking. - Thank you. 180 00:07:07,338 --> 00:07:08,705 - Well, we should at least get together 181 00:07:08,773 --> 00:07:10,706 To talk about membership policies, right? 182 00:07:10,774 --> 00:07:12,108 - Hey, don't ask me. 183 00:07:12,175 --> 00:07:14,643 Dealing with problems ain't my job no more. 184 00:07:14,711 --> 00:07:17,412 My new job is hanging out, having fun, 185 00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:18,713 And cracking wise. 186 00:07:18,780 --> 00:07:19,880 - Oh, it must be nice. 187 00:07:19,948 --> 00:07:21,382 Suppose I decide that's my job. 188 00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:26,986 - 'cause you're hilarious! 189 00:07:29,256 --> 00:07:31,857 - Jeff, I hope you've got an army of raisins 190 00:07:31,925 --> 00:07:34,659 Because I've got a major scoop. 191 00:07:34,726 --> 00:07:35,960 In October, 192 00:07:36,028 --> 00:07:37,895 There was a free toni braxton concert on the quad. 193 00:07:37,963 --> 00:07:38,963 - You don't need to remind me. 194 00:07:39,030 --> 00:07:39,997 - And when a last-minute mix-up 195 00:07:40,065 --> 00:07:41,598 Shifted the show time by an hour, 196 00:07:41,666 --> 00:07:42,966 An anonymous text message went out 197 00:07:43,034 --> 00:07:44,367 Alerting students of the change. 198 00:07:44,435 --> 00:07:46,769 - Okay. - Not okay. 199 00:07:46,837 --> 00:07:48,771 Because the text message was sent exclusively 200 00:07:48,838 --> 00:07:50,205 To black students... 201 00:07:50,273 --> 00:07:53,074 And one french kid named lebron. That's profiling. 202 00:07:53,142 --> 00:07:54,575 This is front-page juice. 203 00:07:54,643 --> 00:07:56,644 Just gotta find out who sent the text. 204 00:07:56,712 --> 00:07:58,312 - Have you called the number that sent it? 205 00:07:58,380 --> 00:08:02,983 - Well...Nobody's that stupid, right? 206 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:07,019 - Aw... 207 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:10,690 Hello? Um... 208 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:14,627 wrong number. 209 00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:20,098 No, that-- that was a good cover. 210 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,667 - So whoever it is keeps hanging up, 211 00:08:22,735 --> 00:08:24,769 But he can't hide forever. 212 00:08:24,836 --> 00:08:28,772 - Annie the reporter. Good times. 213 00:08:28,839 --> 00:08:31,974 Listen up. I just want to say 214 00:08:32,042 --> 00:08:35,411 Thank you guys real much-- much--real much? Duh! 215 00:08:35,478 --> 00:08:38,313 Thank you guys very much for this. 216 00:08:38,381 --> 00:08:40,282 It's a dream come true. 217 00:08:40,349 --> 00:08:42,083 Oh... 218 00:08:42,151 --> 00:08:43,151 - Now let's study some spanish. 219 00:08:43,218 --> 00:08:46,853 - So for the essay, we conjugate... 220 00:08:46,921 --> 00:08:51,291 - Conjugate. Conjugal visit! 221 00:08:51,358 --> 00:08:52,992 lame. 222 00:08:53,060 --> 00:08:55,427 Okay, stick and move. Stick and move. 223 00:08:55,495 --> 00:08:59,531 - Okay, so for the essay portion... 224 00:08:59,599 --> 00:09:02,100 - ♪ annie got an essay portion ♪ 225 00:09:02,168 --> 00:09:04,669 ♪ annie gonna move her luscious fanny ♪ 226 00:09:04,737 --> 00:09:06,771 ♪ all day long ♪ 227 00:09:06,839 --> 00:09:08,907 - Hey, buddy can sing, you guys. 228 00:09:08,975 --> 00:09:10,275 Wow, that's great. 229 00:09:10,343 --> 00:09:14,380 Annie's pretty young. We try not to sexualize her. 230 00:09:14,447 --> 00:09:17,116 - I'm sorry. Whoa! 231 00:09:17,183 --> 00:09:18,883 Okay, look, I-- you know what, 232 00:09:18,951 --> 00:09:20,284 It's your study group, 233 00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:22,185 And I don't know if you perceive it 234 00:09:22,253 --> 00:09:23,185 As something that could be improved, 235 00:09:23,253 --> 00:09:24,286 But I do have some ideas. 236 00:09:24,354 --> 00:09:25,884 Here's the one right here. Boom. 237 00:09:25,952 --> 00:09:27,284 I was thinking, as a group, 238 00:09:27,352 --> 00:09:28,952 We could start saying, "you go, girl." 239 00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:30,553 Not in a way that's, you know, 240 00:09:30,621 --> 00:09:33,022 "oh, I'm so cool saying "you go, girl." 241 00:09:33,089 --> 00:09:34,389 But in a way that we're kinda winking at it. 242 00:09:34,457 --> 00:09:38,659 Bottom line, you guys need a chubby, agile guy. 243 00:09:38,727 --> 00:09:40,860 Did anyone see paul blart: Marl co-- 244 00:09:43,530 --> 00:09:44,897 I'm like that, okay? 245 00:09:44,965 --> 00:09:48,633 I'm fat and I'm... Physical, okay? 246 00:09:48,701 --> 00:09:50,502 And I'm strong. Hmm? And I can kick. 247 00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:52,137 - Oh! 248 00:09:52,205 --> 00:09:54,339 Ow...Oh... - Ooh, sorry. 249 00:09:54,406 --> 00:09:56,808 Jeff-- - no, no, it's fine, it's fine. 250 00:09:56,876 --> 00:09:58,509 It's just a little nosebleed. 251 00:09:58,577 --> 00:09:59,644 I get 'em when it's dry 252 00:09:59,711 --> 00:10:01,345 And when my face gets kicked. 253 00:10:01,413 --> 00:10:03,080 - I'll get some paper towels. 254 00:10:06,550 --> 00:10:08,218 - Did someone say something about a meeting 255 00:10:08,285 --> 00:10:10,753 To discuss member policy? 256 00:10:15,047 --> 00:10:16,280 Well, I think it's obvious to everyone 257 00:10:16,348 --> 00:10:18,482 That this buddy fellow has a few froot loops loose. 258 00:10:18,549 --> 00:10:19,716 So I think no matter what we do, 259 00:10:19,784 --> 00:10:22,018 We gotta do it with grace and caution. 260 00:10:22,086 --> 00:10:23,819 - I say we keep buddy in the group. 261 00:10:23,887 --> 00:10:25,487 - What? 262 00:10:25,555 --> 00:10:26,621 - I've given it a lot of thought, and frankly 263 00:10:26,689 --> 00:10:28,556 I like his in-your-face style. 264 00:10:28,624 --> 00:10:30,224 - I can't stop thinking about his high kick. 265 00:10:30,292 --> 00:10:32,425 His ratio of girth to hip flexibility 266 00:10:32,493 --> 00:10:34,026 Is mesmerizing. 267 00:10:34,094 --> 00:10:36,261 - I like his idea of ironically saying "you go, girl." 268 00:10:36,329 --> 00:10:37,795 - You go, girl. - You go, girl. 269 00:10:37,863 --> 00:10:39,996 - Wait, so you kick high enough and you get in the group? 270 00:10:40,064 --> 00:10:41,264 - If we're going to add people, 271 00:10:41,332 --> 00:10:42,998 I really think we should consider my friend gary. 272 00:10:43,066 --> 00:10:44,099 - I'm sorry, shirley, 273 00:10:44,167 --> 00:10:46,334 Your friend gary is so boring. 274 00:10:46,402 --> 00:10:47,970 - He was raised in finland. 275 00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:49,439 He doesn't get our humor. 276 00:10:49,506 --> 00:10:50,573 - Well, if we're gonna add a chair 277 00:10:50,641 --> 00:10:53,245 For every bong-ripping good-time charlie 278 00:10:53,313 --> 00:10:54,814 With a song in his heart, 279 00:10:54,882 --> 00:10:56,416 I move we institute hazing. 280 00:10:56,484 --> 00:10:58,584 - Well, in the right stuff, the novel by tom wolfe-- 281 00:10:58,652 --> 00:10:59,818 - This is why we need new blood. 282 00:10:59,886 --> 00:11:01,486 I'm so bored of you pop culture references 283 00:11:01,554 --> 00:11:02,954 And your cigarette-legged jeans. 284 00:11:03,022 --> 00:11:05,790 - My friend gary wears nothing but loose-fitting jeans. 285 00:11:05,858 --> 00:11:08,125 - Gary is off the table. He is a buzz kill. 286 00:11:08,193 --> 00:11:10,094 - He grew up in a land without sun! 287 00:11:11,929 --> 00:11:13,797 - Why don't you like my tight jeans? 288 00:11:13,864 --> 00:11:15,431 - Take a vote. 289 00:11:15,499 --> 00:11:16,432 - They'll probably vote him in. 290 00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:17,800 - They won't. 291 00:11:17,868 --> 00:11:20,770 - Guys, guys, let's take a vote. 292 00:11:20,838 --> 00:11:22,905 - Secret vote. Everybody cover your eyes. 293 00:11:24,774 --> 00:11:27,042 - We won't know the result. - Well, say your vote out loud. 294 00:11:27,110 --> 00:11:28,543 - We'll know each other's voices. 295 00:11:28,611 --> 00:11:29,945 - Troy's got a point. 296 00:11:30,013 --> 00:11:31,480 - Holy crap. Wow. 297 00:11:31,547 --> 00:11:33,448 It says here some guy in seattle went nuts 298 00:11:33,516 --> 00:11:35,017 And killed his entire driver's ed class 299 00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:36,952 With a meat tenderizer. 300 00:11:37,020 --> 00:11:41,323 - Oh, no. We have to be careful. 301 00:11:41,391 --> 00:11:44,659 - Okay... On the count of three, 302 00:11:44,727 --> 00:11:46,728 Everybody who wants to keep buddy out, 303 00:11:46,796 --> 00:11:49,230 Raise your hand. 304 00:11:56,038 --> 00:11:57,305 - You lied about the guy in seattle 305 00:11:57,373 --> 00:12:00,208 With the meat tenderizer. 306 00:12:00,276 --> 00:12:02,910 You put your thumb on the scale. 307 00:12:02,978 --> 00:12:04,045 But you did it with a smile, 308 00:12:04,112 --> 00:12:05,913 And you did it so you could keep smiling. 309 00:12:05,981 --> 00:12:06,914 You're hawkeye. 310 00:12:06,982 --> 00:12:08,983 - And with buddy gone, 311 00:12:09,051 --> 00:12:11,152 Staying that way will be a lot easier. 312 00:12:11,219 --> 00:12:13,154 - I am not racist! 313 00:12:13,221 --> 00:12:15,422 I had 20 minutes to let people know 314 00:12:15,490 --> 00:12:16,891 That toni braxton was starting early 315 00:12:16,958 --> 00:12:20,795 And 273 text messages left before my rate tripled. 316 00:12:20,862 --> 00:12:22,596 Racial profiling may not be right, 317 00:12:22,664 --> 00:12:23,931 But it can be economical. 318 00:12:23,999 --> 00:12:26,033 - Tell me, dean, when I refer to you in my article, 319 00:12:26,101 --> 00:12:27,735 Would you prefer "imbecile" or "incompetent?" 320 00:12:27,802 --> 00:12:30,070 - I prefer "incompetent," but what I really want-- 321 00:12:30,138 --> 00:12:31,404 - It doesn't matter what you want. 322 00:12:31,472 --> 00:12:33,940 The people want the truth. I have to give it to them. 323 00:12:34,008 --> 00:12:37,744 And I won't let anyone stand in my way. 324 00:12:37,811 --> 00:12:39,545 - Excuse me. 325 00:12:39,613 --> 00:12:42,214 - Okay. - Thank you. 326 00:12:42,282 --> 00:12:43,916 Jeffrey, I am the least racist person in the world. 327 00:12:43,984 --> 00:12:48,220 My best friend when I was six years old was a black man. 328 00:12:48,288 --> 00:12:50,055 Look, I've learned my lesson. I've got unlimited texting now. 329 00:12:50,123 --> 00:12:52,957 But if she runs that story, I will lose this job. 330 00:12:53,024 --> 00:12:55,692 And this job is my life. 331 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,761 She listens to you. 332 00:12:57,829 --> 00:13:01,865 - Well, next time we're both hanging out having fun 333 00:13:01,933 --> 00:13:05,801 I could try cracking wise about it with her. 334 00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:06,969 - You do what you think is right. 335 00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:18,044 ♪ ♪ 336 00:13:18,112 --> 00:13:19,412 - That's enough. - Okay. 337 00:13:19,479 --> 00:13:21,646 - I'm just saying it's not exactly watergate. 338 00:13:21,714 --> 00:13:23,248 I mean, you like the dean. 339 00:13:23,315 --> 00:13:24,882 He's trying to help you transfer. 340 00:13:24,950 --> 00:13:26,817 - Yeah, and this time he might succeed. 341 00:13:26,884 --> 00:13:28,384 If this article breaks out, 342 00:13:28,452 --> 00:13:30,586 I can apply for journalism scholarships. 343 00:13:30,653 --> 00:13:32,186 Nobody will care about my time in rehab 344 00:13:32,254 --> 00:13:33,254 If they think I'm a writer. 345 00:13:33,321 --> 00:13:35,221 - Annie, as your upbeat friend, 346 00:13:35,289 --> 00:13:36,755 I gotta say let this go. 347 00:13:36,823 --> 00:13:40,224 - This is greendale, jeff. We can do whatever we want. 348 00:13:51,071 --> 00:13:54,206 - Didn't anyone tell buddy he was out? 349 00:13:54,274 --> 00:13:55,475 - I guess we thought you would. 350 00:13:58,580 --> 00:14:01,615 - Milord, milady. You missed my apology song. 351 00:14:01,682 --> 00:14:04,016 - Yeah, I'll tell 'em about it later. 352 00:14:04,084 --> 00:14:06,317 - Jeff... 353 00:14:06,385 --> 00:14:08,819 I am so sorry about the other day. 354 00:14:08,887 --> 00:14:13,724 - Buddy, yesterday the group took a vote. 355 00:14:16,428 --> 00:14:19,763 - And you seem to have figured out the rest of it. 356 00:14:24,001 --> 00:14:27,069 Was it the high kick? Was it "you go, girl"? 357 00:14:27,137 --> 00:14:29,004 Oh, you guys think you're so cool. 358 00:14:29,071 --> 00:14:30,472 - No, we don't think we're cool at all. 359 00:14:30,539 --> 00:14:31,539 - A little bit. 360 00:14:31,607 --> 00:14:33,875 - I put myself out there for you! 361 00:14:33,942 --> 00:14:38,145 I laid my soul bare! 362 00:14:38,213 --> 00:14:41,281 I made you guys lemon squares with free-range eggs 363 00:14:41,349 --> 00:14:42,882 That I baked with my own hands. 364 00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:44,817 - Maybe a little less sugar next time. 365 00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:46,986 - Well, I'm not leaving. 366 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:51,223 - Oh, come on. Be relaxed, like me. 367 00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:53,391 Leave. - You're not relaxed. 368 00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:55,459 You're an uptight puppet master, 369 00:14:55,527 --> 00:14:56,460 And these are all your little puppets. 370 00:15:01,265 --> 00:15:04,700 - Buddy, just be reasonable and go. 371 00:15:04,768 --> 00:15:07,336 Make me...Hitler. 372 00:15:07,404 --> 00:15:09,905 - Okay, so since buddy's not leaving, 373 00:15:09,973 --> 00:15:13,174 He'll just be the person who we wish wasn't here 374 00:15:13,242 --> 00:15:14,375 While we study. 375 00:15:14,443 --> 00:15:17,177 Try getting that deal from hitler. Shall we? 376 00:15:19,647 --> 00:15:23,850 - I'm studying with you. - No, you're not. 377 00:15:23,917 --> 00:15:25,751 Everyone stop studying. 378 00:15:25,819 --> 00:15:27,386 - Okay. 379 00:15:27,454 --> 00:15:30,288 - You're not in the group. 380 00:15:30,356 --> 00:15:33,757 - Okay, then go study somewhere else. 381 00:15:33,825 --> 00:15:36,426 Hola, mi amigo. 382 00:15:36,494 --> 00:15:39,562 Donde estas la bibliota? 383 00:15:52,407 --> 00:15:55,175 No, no. No, no, no, no! 384 00:15:55,243 --> 00:15:56,710 No, no, no! 385 00:15:56,777 --> 00:15:58,511 No, I want to study spanish! 386 00:15:58,579 --> 00:16:00,747 No! 387 00:16:00,815 --> 00:16:03,850 Noooooooooo! 388 00:16:08,288 --> 00:16:11,790 Ah, I hate you! 389 00:16:11,858 --> 00:16:15,527 I hate your study group! I hate it! 390 00:16:15,595 --> 00:16:19,063 You suck! Aah... 391 00:16:19,130 --> 00:16:20,798 I hate you! 392 00:16:24,468 --> 00:16:26,069 - And you are not running that story! 393 00:16:26,137 --> 00:16:29,272 - Why not? - Because I said so! 394 00:16:29,340 --> 00:16:32,909 Does anybody have a problem with how that was handled? 395 00:16:32,977 --> 00:16:34,511 - It's exactly the way I would have done it, jeff. 396 00:16:41,298 --> 00:16:43,465 - Who are you kidding, abed? 397 00:16:43,533 --> 00:16:45,834 I just dragged a screaming, crying man 398 00:16:45,902 --> 00:16:49,003 Out of a library with his pants down. 399 00:16:49,071 --> 00:16:51,872 No. Martinis are for hawkeyes. 400 00:16:51,940 --> 00:16:56,042 I'm the same uptight jerk I was last semester. 401 00:16:59,179 --> 00:17:01,680 - Jeff, what's your favorite episode of m.A.S.H.? 402 00:17:01,748 --> 00:17:04,716 - The one with, uh, the army. 403 00:17:04,784 --> 00:17:06,651 - That's what I thought. 404 00:17:06,719 --> 00:17:08,520 If you'd ever actually seen the show, 405 00:17:08,587 --> 00:17:09,521 You'd know that hawkeye doesn't just bed nurses 406 00:17:09,588 --> 00:17:10,755 And drink martinis. 407 00:17:10,823 --> 00:17:12,023 He also had blood sprayed on his face 408 00:17:12,091 --> 00:17:13,925 And barked orders when the choppers came in. 409 00:17:13,993 --> 00:17:16,728 If he didn't, people died. 410 00:17:16,795 --> 00:17:18,796 He was a leader, jeff. That's your job. 411 00:17:18,864 --> 00:17:21,365 - Ooh. What's in it for me? 412 00:17:21,433 --> 00:17:22,633 - Hey... 413 00:17:22,701 --> 00:17:25,970 - Annie, I'm sorry that I yelled. 414 00:17:26,037 --> 00:17:27,971 - I'm glad you did. 415 00:17:28,039 --> 00:17:29,974 It didn't even really occur to me what I was doing 416 00:17:30,042 --> 00:17:33,578 Until I saw how upset you were. 417 00:17:33,645 --> 00:17:35,045 And I never want to be the reason you're mad 418 00:17:35,113 --> 00:17:40,551 Because... You're jeff winger. 419 00:17:40,619 --> 00:17:44,154 So...Thanks... For getting mad. 420 00:17:44,222 --> 00:17:47,624 - Well, it was nothing. 421 00:17:50,062 --> 00:17:51,729 I guess that's the upside, isn't it? 422 00:18:00,007 --> 00:18:03,511 Thank you...Radar. 423 00:18:03,579 --> 00:18:05,647 - Ooh, you made me so happy I just peed a little. 424 00:18:08,384 --> 00:18:10,151 - I don't think violence is the answer 425 00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:11,152 When we make decisions about-- 426 00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:12,253 - Oh! 427 00:18:12,321 --> 00:18:13,988 - Hi, guys. 428 00:18:14,055 --> 00:18:15,923 - Hi, buddy. Can you, um... 429 00:18:15,990 --> 00:18:18,292 - Excuse us... 430 00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:21,230 - For one... Crazy stalker? 431 00:18:26,337 --> 00:18:27,504 - Listen up. 432 00:18:27,572 --> 00:18:29,940 We outnumber this guy six to one. 433 00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:33,177 Annie, you flash your breasts as a decoy for the bum rush. 434 00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:35,045 - Pierce! - Don't be upset. 435 00:18:35,113 --> 00:18:37,348 I didn't pick you as a decoy 'cause your breasts are so old. 436 00:18:37,415 --> 00:18:39,383 - Why is he even here? Hello. 437 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:41,218 - I invited him. 438 00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:47,225 Buddy's crime is thinking we're cool. 439 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,827 But I get it. 440 00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,429 I mean, if I were him 441 00:18:50,496 --> 00:18:52,464 And I missed out on you guys, 442 00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:55,167 I'd be sitting in that classroom, 443 00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:58,170 Watching, wondering. 444 00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:01,006 So how can I exclude someone from something 445 00:19:01,074 --> 00:19:02,841 That I'm so lucky to have? 446 00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:04,210 - Oh... 447 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:07,547 - I say we let him in. 448 00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,651 Hi, buddy. 449 00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:14,153 Welcome to the group. 450 00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:17,588 - Oh, yes! 451 00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,189 You will not regret this. 452 00:19:21,559 --> 00:19:22,759 - There he is. 453 00:19:22,827 --> 00:19:24,994 Speak of the devil, he's right there. 454 00:19:25,062 --> 00:19:28,064 - Hey, buddy. - Hmm? 455 00:19:28,131 --> 00:19:29,231 - The group thought about what you said. 456 00:19:29,299 --> 00:19:31,600 We took a vote, and you're in. 457 00:19:31,668 --> 00:19:35,437 - Oh ho, no way! I'm in the cool group? 458 00:19:35,504 --> 00:19:36,671 - Look at him. 459 00:19:36,739 --> 00:19:39,005 It's like christmas morning for the guy. 460 00:19:39,073 --> 00:19:40,440 Welcome. 461 00:19:40,508 --> 00:19:43,175 - Oh...This is-- 462 00:19:43,243 --> 00:19:46,144 Oh, this is awkward. 463 00:19:46,211 --> 00:19:48,546 You guys were my safe date. 464 00:19:48,613 --> 00:19:50,647 - Hey, buddy, you don't have to worry about them. 465 00:19:50,715 --> 00:19:52,182 You're with us now. Come on. 466 00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:54,551 - Ha ha! Boom! 467 00:19:54,619 --> 00:19:57,453 - I love the kicks. - He's amazing! 468 00:19:57,521 --> 00:19:58,788 - The kicks are the best. 469 00:19:58,856 --> 00:20:00,389 He's just got that kind of-- 470 00:20:00,457 --> 00:20:02,925 You know when some people have it... 471 00:20:06,127 --> 00:20:08,027 - And that, ladies and gentlemen, 472 00:20:08,095 --> 00:20:09,595 Is why I voted to keep him. 473 00:20:09,663 --> 00:20:11,196 - It would have been nice to have 474 00:20:11,264 --> 00:20:12,597 Another person in the group. 475 00:20:12,664 --> 00:20:14,331 - I'll call gary. 476 00:20:14,332 --> 00:20:22,183 Sync By YesCool Resync by Pippo Inzaghi www.addic7ed.com